S13 E3 Gayle Hunnicutt, Clare Francis, Tom Conti, Philip Howard.
S13 E4 Gayle Hunnicutt, Clare Francis, Tom Conti, Philip Howard.
S13 E5 Diane Cilento, Hayley Mills, Anton Rodgers, Kingsley Amis.
S13 E6 Diane Cilento, Hayley Mills, Anton Rodgers, Kingsley Amis.
Host/Team captains: Robert Robinson, Frank Muir, Patrick Campbell.
S13 E4 Gayle Hunnicutt, Clare Francis, Tom Conti, Philip Howard.
S13 E5 Diane Cilento, Hayley Mills, Anton Rodgers, Kingsley Amis.
S13 E6 Diane Cilento, Hayley Mills, Anton Rodgers, Kingsley Amis.
Host/Team captains: Robert Robinson, Frank Muir, Patrick Campbell.
Category
😹
FunTranscript
00:00:00This is Call My Bluff, and as you know, it features the rector of St Andrew's University,
00:00:24and he has, so he tells me, recently been doctored.
00:00:29Frank Muir.
00:00:38My first guest is the welcome back of an actress who is delightful, and a delightful actress,
00:00:44Gail Honeycutt.
00:00:45My next is a new departure.
00:00:53We have a chap who hasn't been with us before, and he's a reporter from the Times newspaper,
00:01:00but he's also written a couple of very good books on words, so I have high hopes for the lad,
00:01:04who is Philip Howard.
00:01:12And the man who, among other things, knows an awful lot about the diseases of sheep,
00:01:16Patrick Campbell.
00:01:19Thank you.
00:01:22Good evening.
00:01:24My first guest is a tiny little person who's done extraordinary things in boats.
00:01:29He's been all around the world, with nine men and two ladies,
00:01:33but of course it's not the Channel, the Atlantic, single-handed,
00:01:37could be only Cleo Francis.
00:01:44And my other one is an actor who's been in bed since March,
00:01:48and in the same play, that marvellously comic play, Whose Life Is It Anyway?, Tom Conti.
00:02:01Let's now produce our first word.
00:02:03I ring the bell, and we have boyang.
00:02:07And what's going to happen is this, as you probably remember,
00:02:09Frank Muir and his team will define this word, boyang, three different ways.
00:02:13Two of the definitions are false, one of the definitions is true,
00:02:16and that's the one, of course, the other people are trying to pick out.
00:02:18So what of this one then, Frank?
00:02:21I'm an Aussie digger, and gila gong, and I'm digging for gold,
00:02:28but there, on this harsh terrain, there are things like snakes and ants.
00:02:34What is to stop them running up my legs, running straight up my trouser legs?
00:02:41Bicycle clips.
00:02:43Not bicycle clips, no. Navigators.
00:02:47Gators for navies.
00:02:51And the Australian word for leather straps,
00:02:55which the Aussies tied round underneath their knee
00:02:58to stop the rodents getting at Sydney Harbour Bridge, was a...
00:03:03Boyang.
00:03:07Right, now, Philip Howard, have a crack at it.
00:03:10Boyang, it's a bird.
00:03:12It would be better known to English speakers among you
00:03:15as the red-headed log runner of southern Burma.
00:03:19It's a bird with long legs and a peculiar loping stride.
00:03:24When it's not flying, it runs, it doesn't hop.
00:03:28You can see it running across and along the tree trunks
00:03:31floating down the rivers of southern Burma.
00:03:34All right, now it's Gail Honeycutt's turn.
00:03:38A boyang is a flattish piece of bone
00:03:41which is usually from the shoulder of a seal.
00:03:44And it's used for inscribing the symbols
00:03:47of the various generations of aristocratic Eskimo families.
00:03:52Boyang.
00:03:54What a load of...
00:03:56So it's something...
00:03:58It's something that Eskimos put to good use.
00:04:00It's a kind of a gator, stop things getting up your trouser,
00:04:03and it's a sort of bird.
00:04:06Patrick.
00:04:08I don't think that any ant would dare to get up the trouser leg
00:04:12of an Australian ant.
00:04:15They'd be naturally repelled, I think.
00:04:19This red-headed duck that runs along...
00:04:23..logs.
00:04:25Eskimo...
00:04:32I give in.
00:04:35It's an Australian bicycle clip.
00:04:37The Australian bicycle clip? Frank, you said it was.
00:04:40You're going to have one of your turnabouts, Patrick,
00:04:42and change your mind at the last minute.
00:04:44I might, after seeing your guard.
00:04:47It's a bluff, isn't it?
00:04:49No.
00:04:50No, one line.
00:04:59So boyang is certainly what Australians used to wrap
00:05:02around their legs and, for all I know, still do.
00:05:05Grindelkoch is the next one.
00:05:08Patrick defines it.
00:05:10A grindelkoch is a pulled face,
00:05:14a kind of facial contortion,
00:05:17aimed at arising either laughter or fear.
00:05:22It's an ethics word.
00:05:24It appears in an almost interminable
00:05:30kind of folktale based upon the city of Colchester.
00:05:35A little quote from this boring folktale.
00:05:39It says,
00:05:41"'Whereupon Mr Dickon
00:05:44"'pulleth such a grindeljoch, coke,
00:05:49"'as would a fright, a saint, out of his godliness.'"
00:05:54LAUGHTER
00:05:57Hmm. Next.
00:05:58Now, Hugo, yes, it's Tom Conti now.
00:06:01Um...
00:06:02I agree with Patrick. I think that's probably it.
00:06:05LAUGHTER
00:06:08If you were lucky enough or unlucky enough to have garden gnomes,
00:06:12you might have observed them sitting on a mushroom in your garden.
00:06:17If you'd looked more closely and discovered the mushroom
00:06:20wasn't made of plastic but of stone,
00:06:22you might have been looking at a grindelkoch.
00:06:25Because this was an abrasive stone that was used for, um, wetting.
00:06:30And when it became worn...
00:06:32Wetting.
00:06:33Wetting.
00:06:34When it became worn, it was known as a grindelkoch.
00:06:37Whether it was originally known as a grindel that was coked now,
00:06:40or a coke which is now grindled, I'm not quite sure.
00:06:43But that's the word.
00:06:45Why are the gnomes sitting on it?
00:06:47Well, they like sitting on mushrooms.
00:06:49Wetting their bodies.
00:06:51That's not something I want to discuss.
00:06:53It's much more his trouble than ours.
00:06:55You've lost me, lad.
00:06:57Now your go, Claire Francis.
00:06:59Well, grindelkoch is, in fact, two Westmoreland words.
00:07:05Westmoreland.
00:07:07Now, grindel means of a ewe, or to give birth.
00:07:10A ewe, ewe, bah, type.
00:07:13And koch meaning a young lad or a young chap.
00:07:18Unless you have, the two words together,
00:07:20a youth who's hired at lambing time
00:07:23to keep an eye on the expectant mothers, the ewes, in question.
00:07:29Oh, right.
00:07:31You had me looked at.
00:07:33It was just the accent and Lakeland.
00:07:35I couldn't figure it out.
00:07:37It's a worn-out grindstone.
00:07:39You could put gnomes on it.
00:07:41It's a sheep minder hired for the time, and it's pulling a face.
00:07:44So, Frank, which will you have?
00:07:48A lad who's engaged as a voyeur to the accouchement of a sheep.
00:07:54It's a grindelkoch.
00:07:58And this whetting stone upon which gnomes crouch.
00:08:03Or a pulled face.
00:08:06Yeah.
00:08:08Let's have the pulled...
00:08:10Hang on, let's see if I can get vibes and change my mind.
00:08:14No, it's Patrick, definitely. I got the vibes.
00:08:16It was Patrick who said it was pulling a face, wasn't it?
00:08:19True or bluff, Patrick?
00:08:21Oh, no.
00:08:23APPLAUSE
00:08:28Not that, not that.
00:08:30Need to know the true one now. Someone's got it, I'll be bound.
00:08:34Oh, yes, it was Tom, of course.
00:08:36It's in flow for Gardiner.
00:08:38APPLAUSE
00:08:41A grindelkoch is certainly a worn-out grindstone.
00:08:462-0. My goodness. Harding is the next one.
00:08:49Philip Howard defines it.
00:08:51Harding. It's a badly sprung horse-drawn carriage
00:08:55which jelts its passengers up more than an ordinary one would.
00:08:59There are various popular etymologies suggested for it.
00:09:02It gives them a hard time.
00:09:04Or there's a legendary coachmaker called Harding
00:09:08The Oxford Dictionary is not persuaded by either of those.
00:09:12What does it mean? Do you know?
00:09:14It's a badly hung carriage.
00:09:16That's what he said. Badly sprung or hung, yes.
00:09:21So whose turn now? Yes, Gail, yours.
00:09:23Well, a Harding, if any of you are gardeners, you'll know the word Harding
00:09:27because it's any form of botanical species
00:09:31that no matter how much you talk to it, encourage it to grow,
00:09:34pour water on it, give it sunshine,
00:09:36absolutely refuses to flower.
00:09:39It's a Harding. Yes.
00:09:42All to the point. Now, Frank.
00:09:45When the score gets to 07,
00:09:49I will have a strong urge to chuck a Harding.
00:09:53It's a Victorian expression for an imagined illness,
00:09:59an invented indisposition,
00:10:02and it's after a character in a popular but trivial farce of the time.
00:10:08It's a Harding, as it was, just to be ill.
00:10:14But you weren't.
00:10:16Right, it's a badly sprung carriage,
00:10:21it's an imaginary illness,
00:10:23and it's a non-doing plant, one that won't put forth.
00:10:27Tom Coltie's turn.
00:10:29I like the idea of the talking to flowers.
00:10:32That's good. I'll keep that in mind for later.
00:10:36LAUGHTER
00:10:38Why, when you could make a perfectly well-sprung carriage,
00:10:42would one want to construct, specifically, a badly sprung...
00:10:46He's put his finger on it.
00:10:48So that you could have an accident.
00:10:50It's something to do with the health service.
00:10:52When we had pain medicine,
00:10:54the doctor's pain medicine,
00:10:56when we had pain medicine,
00:10:58the doctor's pain the people to make Harding so that they could...
00:11:01You got into an argument in advance.
00:11:03Yes, and the other is a kind of hypochondria.
00:11:06Well, fake hypochondria.
00:11:08Yes, but that's crudely...
00:11:11Yes, it's conflicted.
00:11:13Yes, I think I prefer the flowers, the talking to flowers.
00:11:16Yes, I think it's the...
00:11:18You think it's that? Yes.
00:11:20You're going to choose it.
00:11:21Gail, you said it was something to do with a plant that wouldn't virgin.
00:11:24Tom Bluff.
00:11:26Oh, yes!
00:11:28APPLAUSE
00:11:34Harding is a plant that won't get on with it,
00:11:37though I'm rather sorry to miss the fake hypochondria.
00:11:40What a conceit.
00:11:42Ziggur. 3-0 now. Ziggur.
00:11:44Tom, your go.
00:11:49It's a Spanish dance.
00:11:52It was considered, I believe, improper.
00:11:55Washington Irving wrote a book called Alhambra
00:11:59and he...
00:12:03..referred to the ziggur, and here I quote,
00:12:06I believe that's the right phrase to use.
00:12:09The wanton city of Seville where black-eyed courtesans
00:12:12dance the ziggur under every orange grove.
00:12:16I don't know why he chose to write that in the book, but he wrote it.
00:12:21It's a sort of Spanish dance.
00:12:24Right, right. So, Claire, it's your turn.
00:12:27Well, a ziggur was an American child's toy
00:12:31which drove American parents quite mad at the turn of the century.
00:12:35It was rather like a jack-in-the-box
00:12:37and it was made of matchwood and elastic and other beastly things
00:12:41and when you opened it, this thing flew out and went zzzz around the room
00:12:46and drove the parents quite mad.
00:12:48A ziggur.
00:12:50Good enough. And now Patrick tells you.
00:12:53A ziggur is a Cornish miner's term for an underground dribble.
00:12:58Or trickle.
00:13:00It's a little river, really.
00:13:02If you happen to be in a Cornish tin mine,
00:13:05and see some water around in the form of a dribble or a trickle,
00:13:10you might note that it not only zigs, it also zags.
00:13:14But even if it zags, it's still called a ziggur.
00:13:19Well, this is what they say. It's a kind of a Spanish dance.
00:13:22It's an American toy and it's a trickle in a Cornish tin mine.
00:13:27Philip, your turn.
00:13:29I like... I like the sound of a Spanish dance.
00:13:32It just...
00:13:34It's too like ziggurat and zigga zagga.
00:13:37I'm thinking about it, but I'm not persuaded.
00:13:40The American toy.
00:13:43Again, it's nice onomatopoeia
00:13:45and if you look at me like that, you can take me anywhere.
00:13:51I rate off, I must say, I rate off that underground dribble.
00:13:54What do you think about that?
00:13:56You've used them all up, Bled.
00:13:59I now have to decide.
00:14:04I'm going to say the Spanish dance.
00:14:07Ah, well, now, who was that?
00:14:09That was Tom Cottage.
00:14:11Yes.
00:14:14No!
00:14:22I wonder which it was, I really do, and now I'm going to be told.
00:14:26Who got the true one?
00:14:28I thought it was somebody else.
00:14:35A trickle of water in a Cornish tin mine.
00:14:38Goodness me, Frank Fortel.
00:14:41Whining is the next one.
00:14:43Gail, your turn.
00:14:45Whining, well, whining is a term that I'm sure Claire will be familiar with
00:14:49because it's better known as a furling line
00:14:53and it's used to wrap the sail around the yard
00:14:56and then when you want to sail away again,
00:14:59you unwind the whining, let the sails fill with wind
00:15:03and off you go.
00:15:05That's fairly simple, isn't it?
00:15:08I know the word into it.
00:15:10Frank, your turn.
00:15:12Whining is a rather splendid, not much used Scottish verb
00:15:17and it's rather like flighting.
00:15:20Yes, yes.
00:15:22At the end of a flighting, the loser might go into a bit of whining
00:15:26because whining means a bit of personal revenge,
00:15:30means a bit of violence inflicted upon somebody.
00:15:34If you're flightings and you get the wrong end, the worst end of the stick,
00:15:38you go along and in the middle of the night,
00:15:41fill his spawn with cold porridge.
00:15:44That's whining.
00:15:47Right, Philip Howard's turn now.
00:15:50Whining, it's a medieval, legendary creature.
00:15:54There's a manuscript from Glastonbury
00:15:58which describes this creature which is somewhat like a dragon,
00:16:02a bit like a serpent.
00:16:04In fact, if you go to Glastonbury Abbey,
00:16:07you can see at the foot of one of the tombs
00:16:10something pretty well worn away that might well be a whining.
00:16:13The guides say it is. That's what it is.
00:16:16It doesn't have a nose sitting on it. No, no, that was earlier.
00:16:19It's a serpent, sort of serpent.
00:16:21It's something called a furling line.
00:16:23You wrap it round the sails when you feel you ought
00:16:26and it's revenge.
00:16:28Claire.
00:16:31Well, I should know it if it's a sailing term.
00:16:35I should, but that doesn't mean to say I do.
00:16:39The Scottish verb, it doesn't sound Scottish at all to me.
00:16:43Expunge it from your mind.
00:16:47And the medieval, legendary creature, the dragon.
00:16:51Whining.
00:16:53Well, I'm speechless, therefore I'll have to choose one
00:16:57and I think I'll go for the dragon.
00:17:01The dragon or serpent term.
00:17:03Philip, you've spoken of that too, I'm glad.
00:17:07Oh!
00:17:09APPLAUSE
00:17:15Thank goodness they've broken that up.
00:17:17There would have been tears in the roving room afterwards.
00:17:20Who gave the true definition of that word?
00:17:24Oh, no.
00:17:26That's not...
00:17:28APPLAUSE
00:17:30A furling line.
00:17:32I'm quite ashamed.
00:17:34I think that was that version on sadism, Claire.
00:17:37It apparently is a sailing term and it means a furling line,
00:17:40but a furling line means a whining.
00:17:42They're both call my bluff words to me.
00:17:45Ogrian is how I would say this, but I don't know.
00:17:48Claire Francis.
00:17:50French Irishman.
00:17:52Well, when you...
00:17:56I expect you think of a very large creature.
00:17:59Petty.
00:18:03And a very nasty creature.
00:18:05Well, you're not quite right because, in fact,
00:18:08there are midget ogres.
00:18:11Sort of mini ogres.
00:18:13And they're called, not ogriettes or mini ogres,
00:18:16they're called ogrions.
00:18:20Little tiny ones, right? Patrick, your go.
00:18:22Sitting on a stone.
00:18:27I don't know how far up you are in Norman French.
00:18:31So-so.
00:18:37But at the Battle of Crecy...
00:18:41..hundreds of ogrions were used on horses.
00:18:46There were spikes that were fastened onto the foreknees.
00:18:49Not all foreknees, because if they were on the back knees,
00:18:52the horses wouldn't say it.
00:18:55The ogrions were strapped onto the foreknees,
00:19:00the two front foreknees.
00:19:03The leading knees of chargers.
00:19:08For spiking the enemy up with.
00:19:13They were mustered at Crecy.
00:19:16Oh, dear!
00:19:21Listen, Frank, no wonder you were doctored.
00:19:26Tom Conti, your go.
00:19:28This is an inexplicable and possibly unjustified term of abuse, really.
00:19:34It was used to describe a feeling of revulsion for another chap.
00:19:40If it was a lady who was talking,
00:19:42it would be for just a chap, not another chap.
00:19:45It was a favourite word used by diarists in the 18th century,
00:19:50I believe, and one might have heard in the drawing rooms of Kensington,
00:19:54''My dear, here's a perfect ogrion!''
00:20:00Used to describe one's husband.
00:20:02That's what it is. It's something to describe a frightful chap.
00:20:06Yes. Well, it's a frightful chap,
00:20:09Well, it's a frightful chap,
00:20:11and it's a spike on only two of the four knees of the horse's four legs,
00:20:16and it's a tiny ogre.
00:20:18Gail, your choice.
00:20:20We're not so much behind you as beside you.
00:20:23Yes. We are unanimous on this.
00:20:26You are, particularly.
00:20:30I think we're going to go for the Norman French spikes.
00:20:36What about the other two? Don't care to say where they feel left out.
00:20:40The little tiny ogres, they were very attractive,
00:20:43but we've had so many gnomes,
00:20:45I just wonder if we're going to have many ogres as well.
00:20:49And the...
00:20:51No.
00:20:5318th-century English word...
00:20:56No, I don't think so.
00:20:58I honestly think it's the spike.
00:21:01The spike on the horse's...
00:21:03We're so mad.
00:21:05OK. Patrick, true or bluff? You said it.
00:21:09You are unanimously wrong.
00:21:19Nothing to do with that. Something else must be the true one.
00:21:22Here it comes. One, two, three, go.
00:21:24Would it be...?
00:21:26It's there. I know you have it.
00:21:29It's the tiny.
00:21:31Well known.
00:21:33Congratulations.
00:21:37Ogreon is a rather short ogre.
00:21:405-1, my goodness me.
00:21:42Icarite is the next.
00:21:44Frank, what of this word?
00:21:46Icarie, you probably haven't come across it very much,
00:21:49but you hear it spoken occasionally amongst campanologists.
00:21:54It's that...
00:21:56You know when a bell sounds?
00:21:58A big, big bell. Not a tinkle-tinkle, but a biggie.
00:22:01It should go...
00:22:05But if it goes...
00:22:11It was known to campanologists as Icarie.
00:22:16It's an Icarie bell.
00:22:20Campanologist is right, Frank.
00:22:22Philip, your turn.
00:22:24Icarie, it's a rash, presumptuous,
00:22:27and ultimately disastrous act or deed.
00:22:30It comes, of course, from Icarus.
00:22:32Yeah.
00:22:33The lad who flew to near the sun.
00:22:35Wax in his wings melted, down he nose-dived into the Mediterranean.
00:22:39Any disastrous act that ends with a splash, that's an Icarie.
00:22:45Now, Gail Honeycutt.
00:22:47An Icarie is one of life's great delicacies
00:22:50because it's actually caviar.
00:22:53Icarie is the caviar that comes from the sturgeons in the River Volga.
00:22:58So when you next hear the River Volga boatsmen singing,
00:23:01it's because they've caught a sturgeon bulging with Icarie.
00:23:10That's Frank warbling there, just in case you thought it was anyone else.
00:23:15It's a sort of caviar, rather good stuff.
00:23:17It's a very rash deed, and it's a bell that doesn't work too well.
00:23:21Patrick.
00:23:23Seeing that hundreds of millions of Russians call that the Volga,
00:23:28and you call it the Volga,
00:23:31you must be out to lunch.
00:23:34The Russians call it the Volga?
00:23:36I haven't finished with her, I'll come to you in a minute.
00:23:41This bell's hiccup.
00:23:43They wouldn't call it, they'd just say the bell's bust fell.
00:23:49Icarie, it's too much like Icarus,
00:23:52but that's what it is, it's an unhappy splash.
00:23:56The rash deed.
00:23:58Well, was he right? Philip Howard, drawbluff.
00:24:01Ooh!
00:24:08Nice one there, but it wasn't that.
00:24:10True definition coming up. Here we go.
00:24:13It was the Volga boatmen.
00:24:15Yes!
00:24:17Well done.
00:24:20Icarie is rather specially good caviar.
00:24:23All caviar is rather specially good, but this is very, very good.
00:24:27Splaiting is the next one. Patrick Campbell defines it.
00:24:30Back with the horses again.
00:24:33Splaiting is a horrible thing that happens to a horse.
00:24:36Gets talked about in this book.
00:24:38Not because it's got its spikes on its back knees.
00:24:41This is a spikeless horse,
00:24:43but it can be galloping around too energetically.
00:24:48So quickly, indeed,
00:24:50that it puts its shoulder blade out of...
00:24:53Well, out of joint, really.
00:24:55Oh, poor Dobbin. It splaits itself.
00:24:58The only cure is to put a bit of Band-Aid on it
00:25:02or give it a long rest in its box.
00:25:05Well, of course, not the only cure is Band-Aid.
00:25:08It'll iodine, a tight bandage, or a long rest in the box.
00:25:11Splait it.
00:25:13OK, that's what it is.
00:25:15Tom Conti now tells you this.
00:25:17All you ladies who are wearing pearls, take special note,
00:25:21because the PDSA will be along any moment.
00:25:24Splaiting is spread or sprinkled over oyster beds,
00:25:30and we're told that it's to assist the propagation of oysters,
00:25:34but since it's usually in the form of large hunks of rubble,
00:25:38one might be tempted to believe
00:25:40that it's for the extermination of oysters.
00:25:42You throw all this stuff in,
00:25:44and the idea is that the oyster will cling to this
00:25:48and not be swept out to sea by the river.
00:25:50He's not clinging it for that reason,
00:25:52he's just holding it above his head.
00:25:54LAUGHTER
00:25:56I've spent six years growing this pearl.
00:25:58If you think you're going to take it away from me now, you've had it.
00:26:01That's what it is. That's what splaiting is.
00:26:04And now, Clare Frost.
00:26:06Well, it's back to the sea, because, of course,
00:26:10splaiting is how a sailor makes a rope waterproof.
00:26:14He wraps it with twine, like so, round and round and round,
00:26:20and then he covers the whole thing with tar.
00:26:23A special tar, in fact, from Stockholm.
00:26:26And there you have your waterproof rope.
00:26:29Quite simple.
00:26:31It's got to be done somehow. True enough, it's a wave-waterproof rope.
00:26:34It's a slipped shoulder blade in a horse,
00:26:38and it's rubble that's fairly good for oysters.
00:26:41Frankly, well, it's choice.
00:26:43Follow my reasoning here, and see if you go along with me.
00:26:47Is it long?
00:26:49Fairly. Well, I don't know, I haven't done it yet.
00:26:51That's true, you haven't started.
00:26:53What is the point of waterproofing rope?
00:26:55Oh, well, it's very important, because it stops it rotting.
00:26:58Oh, ah. It stops the rain coming down.
00:27:01And Stockholm tar is the thing you put on a tree when you cut a branch off.
00:27:06Ah, well, I wouldn't know, because I haven't cut many recently.
00:27:09That's the point, you see. Will you step down, please?
00:27:12Oysters, to my knowledge,
00:27:14don't sort of hang around on the bottom of the sand,
00:27:18they cling to rocks.
00:27:20Precisely. I think that's what he was grinding on about.
00:27:24So I am driven against my will to...
00:27:29It can't be a horse, can it?
00:27:31Paddy knows much about horses as I do about ballet dancing.
00:27:36Yes, I think it's Paddy, it's a horse.
00:27:38Well, he did say it was something to do with a horse slipping its shoulder blade.
00:27:41Now he's got to own up.
00:27:43Me?
00:27:45Oh. No, it isn't, is it? Damn it.
00:27:48I've been splated.
00:27:54Look...
00:27:57..we've got about no time at all to do rattani.
00:28:00Splating is what he said it was, the horse's affliction.
00:28:03Philip Howard, very quickly.
00:28:05Term of ancient rhetoric, somewhat like hyperbole,
00:28:08it means gross exaggeration.
00:28:10Right. Gail?
00:28:12Rattani is the wooden canopy of a church pulpit...
00:28:15That'll do nicely. ..which acts as a sounding board.
00:28:17That'll do nicely. Frank?
00:28:19Rattani, a South American shrub,
00:28:21very stringent roots, used for adulterating port wine.
00:28:24He will do it. Where's the long rake?
00:28:27Canopy is what it means, shrub is also what it means,
00:28:30an extravagant speech, and Tom Conti chooses.
00:28:34It's extravagant speech. It is, yes.
00:28:36It's extravagant speech. I've forgotten quite who said that.
00:28:39It was Philip, true or bluff? Philip, yes.
00:28:42It's a bluff.
00:28:44APPLAUSE
00:28:46And now the true definition.
00:28:48The true definition. Oh, be quick.
00:28:51It's there.
00:28:53APPLAUSE
00:28:56It's a shrub, it's a shrub, it's a shrub.
00:28:59It's a shrub, that's what it is.
00:29:01Well, the winners, yes, almost just by a whisker,
00:29:04are Patrick Campbell and co. Three cheers.
00:29:07APPLAUSE
00:29:12So, we shall be...
00:29:14We'll be getting some more pantomime horses
00:29:16from the Oxford English Dictionary next week,
00:29:18so until then, goodbye from Philip Howard.
00:29:21Goodbye.
00:29:23Tom Conti.
00:29:25Gail Honeycutt.
00:29:28Frances.
00:29:30Thank you.
00:29:33Patrick Campbell.
00:29:37And goodbye.
00:29:39APPLAUSE
00:30:09APPLAUSE
00:30:15Yes, another game of Call My Bluff,
00:30:18with the old electric hair, Patrick Campbell.
00:30:22APPLAUSE
00:30:26Good evening.
00:30:28Once again, I set sail with a tiny yachting person.
00:30:31Backwards and forwards, of course, the exantic single-handed,
00:30:34but with my help this time, Claire Francis.
00:30:37APPLAUSE
00:30:42And a well-known bedridden actor,
00:30:45in the same play for 40 years, Tom Conti.
00:30:48APPLAUSE
00:30:54And the corchnoy of the panel game, of course, Frank Liar.
00:30:58APPLAUSE
00:31:01And I have my semi-victorious team of last year.
00:31:06We came in second.
00:31:09The actress, delightful actress, Gail Honeycutt.
00:31:14APPLAUSE
00:31:19And Times reporter and wordsmith, Philip Howard.
00:31:24APPLAUSE
00:31:27Thank you.
00:31:32May have seemed like a year to Frank, but it's actually only a week.
00:31:35Less, if truth be told.
00:31:37Right, now, Zerbal is our first word.
00:31:40And what happens to Zerbal is this.
00:31:42Patrick takes it and say to his team,
00:31:44they define it three different ways.
00:31:46Two of the definitions are false, one is true.
00:31:48And that's the one that Frank and co. try and pick out.
00:31:50So, off you go, Patrick.
00:31:52Once again, we are back down the Cornish Mines.
00:31:56This time it's clay.
00:31:58Ah, bon. With a Zerbal.
00:32:00But we want two Zerbals and a mule.
00:32:03Breeding Zerbal. No, no, no, please.
00:32:06A Zerbal is a basket.
00:32:09Ah!
00:32:11And another Zerbal makes two Zerbals.
00:32:14We want to balance the mule with two Zerbals,
00:32:16because each Zerbal contains three quarters of a cubic yard of clay.
00:32:23Three quarters of a cubic yard?
00:32:25A yard of clay.
00:32:27Which builds a Zerbal to the brim,
00:32:29so if you've got two bags of these,
00:32:31you've got two Zerbals and a mule in the middle,
00:32:33and you can get the clay up to the top.
00:32:35That's what Zerbals are for.
00:32:37Good, good.
00:32:39So that, and now Tom Conti, here he comes.
00:32:42I have to ask the sound department to beware,
00:32:45because I'm going to demonstrate what a Zerbal is.
00:32:48Oh, my goodness.
00:32:49Gentlemen, turn down the knobs a little.
00:32:52No, I haven't got the courage, I just haven't got the courage.
00:32:55So I'll tell you.
00:32:57It's a war cry used by the Sudanese,
00:33:01not yesterday, I think it was some weeks ago,
00:33:04when they marched into battle.
00:33:06The Scots use the bagpipes for much the same thing.
00:33:10It's to terrify and to give oneself Dutch courage,
00:33:14Sudanese courage, Scottish courage.
00:33:16The Zerbal of the Mahdi's army at the Battle of Ordom
00:33:21was said to be 15 miles away in the township of...
00:33:26..in the township.
00:33:31So he didn't make the cry, but he was clear enough.
00:33:34Clare, your turn.
00:33:36Well, when you next have an abdominal operation,
00:33:41you'll find the surgeon muttering behind his mask,
00:33:45I couldn't tell you all the things he'd be muttering,
00:33:47but he would probably be saying Zerbal as an adjective,
00:33:51because it means pertaining to the omentum,
00:33:56which I'm sure you realise as...
00:33:59Can you say where that is?
00:34:01Well, I wouldn't like to be too specific,
00:34:04but it is pertaining to one of the many folds of membranous tissue
00:34:09that perform important but very discreet functions
00:34:13in the upper abdomen.
00:34:19That's really part of your guts, is what you're getting at.
00:34:23It's a measure of clay in a basket, it holds a certain amount,
00:34:27and it's a war cry.
00:34:29Frank, you choose.
00:34:32Yes, well, it's perfectly clear...
00:34:35Mm-hm.
00:34:37..on this side of the house.
00:34:39We don't know what the answer is, but...
00:34:42I think three-quarters of a cubic yard is an enormous weight of clay.
00:34:48I can't think a poor little moke
00:34:51could carry one-and-a-half cubic yards of wet clay.
00:34:54A huge mule.
00:34:56Yes, well, there we are, you see.
00:34:58You wouldn't get a huge mule down a small Cornish mine, would you?
00:35:02May I proceed? May I?
00:35:06So we come, slowly,
00:35:08to the Sudanese battle shriek of a fortnight ago.
00:35:12I believe you said...
00:35:14No, it must be the tissue.
00:35:16It must be the abdominal, awful thing of...
00:35:19Yes, the internal stuff.
00:35:22Yes, that was clear, you said it.
00:35:24True or bluff? Has Frank chosen correctly?
00:35:29He has!
00:35:31It was rather unfortunate, wasn't it?
00:35:37Don't be downhearted, fight back.
00:35:39Zerbil is certainly part of what you've got inside.
00:35:42And we'll have another word now.
00:35:44Perdigwina is the next word.
00:35:46Pronounce it as you will now, Frank. What of it?
00:35:50The perdigwina, the perdigwina,
00:35:54is a variety of Italian plum.
00:35:59So luscious, so...
00:36:02As you eat it, you know.
00:36:04That...
00:36:06Chaps who like Italian plums very much.
00:36:09It's so succulent, bellissimo,
00:36:11that they call it the Queen Mother of plums.
00:36:15Now, the perdigwina,
00:36:18the Queen Mum-plum,
00:36:20comes in snowy white colour,
00:36:23or it comes in a sooty black,
00:36:25or it comes, much more suitably,
00:36:27in a deep purple colour.
00:36:30Plum colour.
00:36:33It's a lovely plum.
00:36:35Snow-white plum.
00:36:37You got that down, Patrick, right?
00:36:39Yes, thank you.
00:36:41The perdigwina, it dates back at least 13 centuries.
00:36:45It's the royal cipher of the ancient kings of Cornwall.
00:36:49You can actually see an example of it on a brass buckle
00:36:53in the county museum at Bodmin.
00:36:55It's a game bird, it looks like a game bird.
00:36:58There are those who say it's a partridge.
00:37:01Probably found them down a mine.
00:37:03Indeed, indeed, on the back of a mule.
00:37:07They'll have a lot going on in Cornwall if we're to believe all we hear.
00:37:11Gayle, your turn.
00:37:13Well, there should be an outcry at Women's Lib
00:37:16against the use of the perdigwina,
00:37:19because it is the semi-sacred area outside a druidic circle
00:37:25to which...
00:37:27to which the female druids were banished
00:37:32during the chanting of certain druidic litanies.
00:37:37What?
00:37:39I haven't... I'm from Texas.
00:37:41All these mispronunciations you've got to ignore.
00:37:44Well, certainly ignore that one, I can promise you.
00:37:48Well, what she said was it's sort of a circle outside the really sacred circle,
00:37:52but it's slightly sacred.
00:37:54It's a royal cypher and it's a very delicious plum.
00:37:57Choose away, Patrick.
00:37:59Well, that Texan gobble, even if he's right, I couldn't understand.
00:38:04Or is it?
00:38:07I'm very offended.
00:38:09All this partridge drivel.
00:38:11But you can't have a plum that is not only snow-white,
00:38:15jet-black and purple.
00:38:18Or can you?
00:38:19Or can you?
00:38:20Exactly, it's your question.
00:38:22This is...
00:38:23On the other hand, we believe, I believe...
00:38:26Are you speaking for yourself?
00:38:27I am, yes.
00:38:28Do you want allies here?
00:38:30It's a coin that looks like a partridge.
00:38:33Yes. Now, who said that? I just have to remind myself.
00:38:36Yes, it was indeed Philip Howard.
00:38:39Kind of a cypher. Draw a bluff. No, no, no!
00:38:42APPLAUSE
00:38:45It's more close to say it's a partridge, I'm afraid.
00:38:48Nothing to do with that at all.
00:38:50Someone now must give us the true definition.
00:38:53It's there. I know it is.
00:38:55How unfortunate.
00:38:57Ah!
00:38:58APPLAUSE
00:39:01Delicera.
00:39:04All that rubbish about the plum was perfectly true.
00:39:07That's what it means.
00:39:09Chagroon is our next word and Tom Conti will define it.
00:39:14Well, a chagroon?
00:39:18Lovely to be back here.
00:39:23It was the name given...
00:39:28..to early settlers in New Zealand...
00:39:34Let me get this right. It's complicated.
00:39:37It was given to non-British settlers in New Zealand,
00:39:41particularly applied to an Australian who would arrive
00:39:44and set up house and home in Canterbury,
00:39:47where the Canterbury lambs come from.
00:39:50Those are the ones with the Canterbury tails.
00:39:53LAUGHTER
00:39:55APPLAUSE
00:39:59Yes, yes. It's very rude to me, a chagroon, but there we are.
00:40:03That's what it is. Yes.
00:40:05I thought it was Frank Muir speaking there for a minute,
00:40:08but it must have been an illusion.
00:40:10And on you.
00:40:14Tim, why do I linger? I must dart on and invite Claire to tell us something.
00:40:19Well, chagroon is, in fact, a pure white linen
00:40:23which was woven in the Irrawaddy Valley
00:40:28and has the fantastic property of staying white, never yellows.
00:40:35And, in fact, in 1824, the CNC of the Mediterranean fleet,
00:40:40who was a gentleman named Sir James Rankin, KCB,
00:40:44dressed the entire fleet in chagroon,
00:40:48a beautiful, brilliant white.
00:40:51And it stayed white, whiter than white.
00:40:54OK, so you say. Now it's Patrick's go.
00:40:58A chagroon is the bullock cart...
00:41:03..in which a Persian farmer puts his produce to bring it into the city.
00:41:08Not the city, but the nearest village.
00:41:11Now, mostly... Just a moment, I haven't quite finished.
00:41:15I've got another nine minutes about a chagroon.
00:41:18Because a chagroon, you see, is usually furnished in these wretched times
00:41:23with the wheels nicked off motorcars.
00:41:28But the real chagroon can be identified at the range of about a mile
00:41:33because its wheels are all solid wood.
00:41:37No spokes.
00:41:39They've got the bench in the back or in the front or in the middle, even.
00:41:43It's got solid wooden wheels and two oxen out in front without spikes.
00:41:49Were the wheels round?
00:41:51Oh, yes, terribly.
00:41:53A little worrying for me.
00:41:56Well, it's an early non-British New Zealand settler.
00:41:59It's a species of linen, and what a great pleasure,
00:42:03a Persian bullock cart.
00:42:06Philip, choose.
00:42:08Oh, good grief.
00:42:10Non-British settlers in New Zealand?
00:42:13I thought they all came from Scotland.
00:42:15I didn't realise there were any non-British settlers
00:42:18for the first 100 years or so.
00:42:20I... I don't know about it.
00:42:23Pure white linen woven on the Uruwadi,
00:42:26dressing up the fleet in it.
00:42:28Did the fleet wear white in the body?
00:42:31In the body.
00:42:33I suppose.
00:42:35Which leaves you with this amazing bullock cart.
00:42:38Well, it leaves you, really.
00:42:42Yes.
00:42:44I find improbable New Zealand settlers,
00:42:47bullock cart improbable, impossible pure white linen,
00:42:50so I'll go for that.
00:42:52Which of those?
00:42:53Pure white linen.
00:42:54Pure white linen.
00:42:55That was Clare, Clare Francis, who said that.
00:42:57True or bluff, Clare?
00:42:59Looks slightly well pleased.
00:43:01Yes.
00:43:02APPLAUSE
00:43:08No, no, no, no. Nothing like that.
00:43:10True definition, if you will.
00:43:12Hello, sheep shakers.
00:43:14APPLAUSE
00:43:17Well done.
00:43:19Very well done, dear.
00:43:21Shagroon, one of those non-British New Zealanders early on.
00:43:25Rorta is the next one, and Philip Howard's going to define it.
00:43:28Rorta is an implement used by gravediggers.
00:43:32In graveyards where there's a very rocky subsoil,
00:43:35they send for the rorta,
00:43:37which is a long iron pole with a spike on the end,
00:43:41with which they break up the rock
00:43:44and then remove the pieces.
00:43:46Rocky graveyards are where you need rortas.
00:43:49Mm-hm.
00:43:51So, now it's Gail Hallicutt's turn.
00:43:54Well, a rorta is a large freak wave
00:43:58that builds up between the Isle of Man and the Calf of Man,
00:44:03the famous island on the southernmost tip of the Isle of Man.
00:44:07You see, and when this rorta builds up,
00:44:10all the fishermen become very frightened
00:44:12because it can often be of very large proportions,
00:44:16a rorta, a wave.
00:44:18Thank you.
00:44:19All right, now, Frank.
00:44:22A rorta is out of the corner of the mouth slang.
00:44:27Can you understand what I'm saying? It's very difficult to do.
00:44:31Which language?
00:44:32No, it's out of the corner of the... Try it this way.
00:44:36Out of the corner of the right-hand mouth slang,
00:44:39used by... The right-hand mouth?
00:44:41LAUGHTER
00:44:45The starboard corner of the mouth,
00:44:47or the port corner of the mouth, is irrelevant.
00:44:50It's card shoppers who talk secretly to each other.
00:44:53It uses a kind of jargon,
00:44:55and the rorta is their word for punter.
00:44:59He is a mug, a john, a member of the public
00:45:04who takes part in the three-card trick,
00:45:08who elicts to try to spot the lady.
00:45:11What's his answer? He's a rorta.
00:45:14LAUGHTER
00:45:16And as I am faced with three cards, you see,
00:45:20and trying to put a trick over you,
00:45:23you could be a rorta, or I could be a rorta.
00:45:26I just thought I'd say that, you know,
00:45:28just make it sort of... to weave it into the programme.
00:45:31You were born a rorta.
00:45:33LAUGHTER
00:45:34Next, a little guessing.
00:45:36Yeah, well, what it is, it's a gravedigger's implement
00:45:39that you need to use in a tough...
00:45:41in a sort of hard-surface graveyard.
00:45:43It's a punter who goes in for the three-card trick,
00:45:46and it's a sort of a wave.
00:45:48Tom Conti's choice.
00:45:52They're all very moving, of course.
00:45:54They're moving.
00:45:56They're moving. Where shall we go?
00:45:58LAUGHTER
00:46:00Um, the wave is... the wave is nice, you know.
00:46:03Do you think about the wave? What do you think about the wave?
00:46:06Um, the graves, that's logical, isn't it?
00:46:09I mean, you're a rorta, the rock.
00:46:12Um, the slang, I think...
00:46:14I think Frank was in a bit of difficulty there,
00:46:17trying to put that over on us.
00:46:19I think I'll go for the grave.
00:46:22The grave, diggers.
00:46:24What's the name? That was Philip Howard.
00:46:26Yes, true love.
00:46:28Ooh, cool water.
00:46:30No, no, no, no.
00:46:32I'll take it apart.
00:46:36That was simply a bluff.
00:46:38Here comes a true definition.
00:46:40I mean, the admission...
00:46:42Oh, no!
00:46:44APPLAUSE
00:46:49A rorta is the punter,
00:46:51the one who gets taken, as it were, at three-card tricks.
00:46:55Goulard is the next word. Claire Francis.
00:46:58Well, of course, it's not goulard at all, it's goulard.
00:47:01If you're going to be proper about it, because...
00:47:04At all times.
00:47:06..it's a soothing lotion named after the doctor who invented it,
00:47:09who was Monsieur le Médecin Goulard,
00:47:12who's now extremely deceased.
00:47:15LAUGHTER
00:47:18And it's a weak solution of lead acetate,
00:47:22which you can fire up a bit with a bit of rose water, if you wish,
00:47:26and it's for...
00:47:29It's for intolerable itching.
00:47:32LAUGHTER
00:47:35That's a really good name, half of which is goo and the other half lard.
00:47:39LAUGHTER
00:47:41Patrick's go. Here he comes.
00:47:44Goulard was a long flowing gown,
00:47:49mostly made of gold thread...
00:47:51Not thread, gold thread.
00:47:53LAUGHTER
00:47:55Gold thread's better.
00:47:58It didn't catch on, there was no sale of it,
00:48:01until it was suddenly worn for the first time
00:48:04by the aunt of Peter the Great of Russia.
00:48:10Her name was Sophia Archduchess of Kiev.
00:48:15And it is said that in Auntie Sophia's goulard,
00:48:20there was a mile of gold thread.
00:48:22Get away. Yeah.
00:48:24LAUGHTER
00:48:26Chip of Kiev.
00:48:28Tom Conti now.
00:48:30It's a fish.
00:48:32Oh, dear.
00:48:34You don't come from Louisiana, do you, Gail?
00:48:36Texas. Texas, fine.
00:48:38This is from Louisiana, this fish.
00:48:41It has protruding eyes,
00:48:45which go in kind of different directions.
00:48:48Come to think about it, that's quite normal with fish, isn't it?
00:48:51There's one on that side and one on that side.
00:48:53It's still down the river here, if you'll pardon her.
00:48:56It's a kind of aquatic Marty Feldman.
00:48:59LAUGHTER
00:49:05And that's his fish, that's all I can say about it.
00:49:08OK, so it's a soothing lotion, it's a lady's gown,
00:49:12and it's a sort of fish with funny eyes.
00:49:16No offence, Marty, none whatever.
00:49:18None whatever. No.
00:49:19So who chooses now? Yes, Gail, it's your choice.
00:49:21I do.
00:49:23Well...
00:49:25Yes, French soothing lotion
00:49:29with lead acetate and rose water
00:49:33for itching.
00:49:35This is very early itching lotion.
00:49:39It's so unlikely.
00:49:42Then we've got the long flowing gown of gold thread,
00:49:45a mile on the Volga.
00:49:47On the Volga River.
00:49:50Um...
00:49:52Louisiana fish with protruding eyes.
00:49:55No, no, that...
00:49:57Can you do that?
00:49:59Um, I think...
00:50:01I... Oh, I think...
00:50:05I think it's the...
00:50:09Lotion.
00:50:11You think it's the soothing lotion, Claire.
00:50:14True or bluff?
00:50:17You're right!
00:50:27You just guessed, didn't you?
00:50:29Yes. I must say that both Philip and I were saying,
00:50:32it's the fish.
00:50:36You did that to your mini-ogre's head.
00:50:39Goulard is a soothing lotion, should you ever come across it,
00:50:42that's what it is.
00:50:44A gyrus is the next word.
00:50:46Gail Hunnicutt.
00:50:48Well, a gyrus...
00:50:50Now, today we could all go on the dole if we were out of work.
00:50:53But in earlier times, if you were out of work,
00:50:56a bit hard up,
00:50:58you would get your gyrus
00:51:00and you would go out begging with it.
00:51:03Because a gyrus was a begging bowl
00:51:05used by vagabond monks,
00:51:07who weren't really monks at all, of course,
00:51:09they weren't nuns either,
00:51:11but they were fellows, dressed up as monks,
00:51:13going about with these gyruses,
00:51:16begging for food or money,
00:51:18and saying it was their right to have it.
00:51:20Were they getting any?
00:51:22I think occasionally, yes.
00:51:24Good, good. Next, please.
00:51:26I'm sorry. Frank?
00:51:28You're hardly likely to have heard or used this word
00:51:32unless you were an ex-pupil of Edinburgh High School.
00:51:36Crème de la Crème.
00:51:39It's the... Gyrus and gyrine are the words for a first-year student.
00:51:45That's all. That's all, is it?
00:51:47I was supposed to know about that, wasn't I?
00:51:49Now it's Philip Howard's go.
00:51:52A gyrus is a convolution of the brain.
00:51:58The cerebrum has a great many folds and twists.
00:52:02Each one of them controls one bodily function.
00:52:05There's even a separate gyrus
00:52:07for raising and lowering each separate eyelid,
00:52:10so making it possible to wink.
00:52:12That's what the gyrus does, yes.
00:52:15So it's a first-year pupil at the Scott School.
00:52:18It's certainly a sort of fold in the brain
00:52:21and it's also certainly a sort of begging bowl
00:52:24that people used to carry around.
00:52:26Are you supposed to know all of that?
00:52:28Claire, you can choose.
00:52:30I'm very, very suspicious about these monks.
00:52:32I mean, they're dressing as monks, but they're not monks.
00:52:35I'm very worried about that. Very, very worried.
00:52:38Well, you might be.
00:52:40And the convolution of the brain...
00:52:43Well...
00:52:45No, no, I may be suffering from it,
00:52:48but I don't think...
00:52:50No? Oh.
00:52:52Oh.
00:52:53I'm meant to be getting support from my colleagues here,
00:52:56but, um, perhaps...
00:52:58He's getting vibrations.
00:53:00I'm trying to get vibrations, yes.
00:53:02Go on, listen to him.
00:53:05There's nothing happening,
00:53:07so I'll have to go for the first-year student at Edinburgh.
00:53:10Was that wise? Frank Muir will now tell you.
00:53:13He has to.
00:53:16No.
00:53:17No, no, no, no.
00:53:21It's only about five. That's nothing.
00:53:24You're only pulling your leg. Here comes the true one.
00:53:27Here he comes. One, two, three, go.
00:53:29Oh, it's the convolution.
00:53:35I think Patrick was nudging you towards that one,
00:53:38but a gyrus does mean a little fold or convolution in the brain.
00:53:42It's only ten. Very useful.
00:53:44And the crawpock is the next one, and Patrick Campbell's going to define it.
00:53:48The crawpock was a form...
00:53:51..of allergic coughing.
00:53:53I mean, not allergic...
00:53:56It's a form of allergy...
00:53:59..that they cropped up in the...
00:54:01..in the Caribbean.
00:54:04People are looking after tobacco plants.
00:54:07There's a lot of dust lying around.
00:54:09I need to get crawpock...
00:54:11..off the dust from the tobacco plants.
00:54:15A kind of dry rasping cough, which I shall not do.
00:54:19Because I might not be able to stop it.
00:54:22Or my definition either, which I've barely begun.
00:54:27Crawpock has been cured...
00:54:29..by the humidification...
00:54:31..of the tobacco fields in the Caribbean. Thank you.
00:54:36Nothing like a good disease to get a laugh on this show.
00:54:39Tom Conti, your turn.
00:54:42Sweet are the... Oh, no, I've done that.
00:54:45Sweet are the uses of adversity, which, like the toad...
00:54:50..ugly and venomous, bears yet a precious jewel in his head.
00:54:54That free sample of Shakespeare was to indicate to you that...
00:54:58..a crawpock is the piece of stone that people...
00:55:04..used to believe was present in the head of a...
00:55:09..toad. ..frog.
00:55:11Of a toad. They used to think that in the toad's head was a stone,
00:55:15a precious stone, called a crawpock.
00:55:18You just never know. Clare Francis, your turn.
00:55:20Could be true.
00:55:21Well, of course, a crawpock is an East Anglian table delicacy.
00:55:28It's a goose's crop, which you fill with all kinds of delicious things,
00:55:34like oatmeal, cereal and spices,
00:55:37and then you put it in the toad's head,
00:55:39and then you put it in the toad's head,
00:55:41and then you put it in the toad's head,
00:55:43and then you put it in the toad's head,
00:55:45like oatmeal, cereal and spices,
00:55:47and you put the whole thing into boiling water
00:55:51and cook it until it's so delicious.
00:55:56And then you take it out and you cut open the crop
00:55:59and you eat your delicacy from East Anglia, a crawpock.
00:56:05Possibly even Norfolk.
00:56:07Well, anyway, it's an East Anglian delicacy, I'm glad to hear.
00:56:11It's a nasty form of a crop,
00:56:13and it's a stone found, or believed to have been found,
00:56:17in a toad's head.
00:56:19Frank.
00:56:21It's very interesting, this.
00:56:23Not interesting. Fairly. No, very dull, actually.
00:56:26LAUGHTER
00:56:27They're all sort of playing around with craw and pock.
00:56:31I suppose it's reasonable, really.
00:56:33Yes, it seems it's...
00:56:35Pock in the craw. Allergy, dust gets in there.
00:56:39Stone in the frog's forehead.
00:56:44Goose liver.
00:56:48Could be any, really, couldn't it? Or none.
00:56:50It is. But it is one.
00:56:52He's on the right track.
00:56:54LAUGHTER
00:56:56He's hard in his heels.
00:56:58I'll go for the lad, for the man in the white suit.
00:57:02But he said all that stuff about the toad in there.
00:57:05The Sicilian hoot. OK, right. Tom, true or bluff?
00:57:08It wasn't garden gnomes, it was toads.
00:57:10Do you want to... I want to win.
00:57:12Do you want another chance? No, no.
00:57:14Do you want to stick with it? I'm stuck with it.
00:57:16I'll give you five minutes to change your idea.
00:57:19APPLAUSE
00:57:25Craw-pock is stone in toad's forehead.
00:57:28We've just got a couple of minutes.
00:57:30We will just get Wellesley or Wellesley or whatever.
00:57:33Frank, rather swiftly.
00:57:35Wellesley, a very simple little old wooden latch which closed itself.
00:57:40Right. Philip Hyde.
00:57:42Wellesley, it's a Puritan get-together, a talking of Puritans.
00:57:46Right. And, Gail, your turn.
00:57:49Wellesley, of course, means alas. It's an old-fashioned expression.
00:57:53So when, in old-fashioned times, you would say Wellesley,
00:57:56it meant doom, despair, disaster.
00:57:59That'll do very nicely.
00:58:01Wellesley, Puritan get-together.
00:58:04The word means alas, or the word also means door latch.
00:58:07Patrick, what will you have?
00:58:09We help ourselves effortless to our second point
00:58:12by selecting Philip and a Puritan talk-in.
00:58:16Tour Bluff, Philip, you said it.
00:58:19No, no, no!
00:58:21APPLAUSE
00:58:24You missed. Give us a two-one.
00:58:27Wellesley, doom. It's on the true part.
00:58:30APPLAUSE
00:58:37So there you are. Yes, it wasn't that.
00:58:39Wellesley means well-a-day or lack-a-day or alas.
00:58:42Oh, no, it doesn't.
00:58:44Well, that's what she said, and I believe every word she said.
00:58:47So, anyway, the score's standing at more or less 7-1.
00:58:50I think, yes, Frank Muir's team has won.
00:58:53Yes.
00:58:55APPLAUSE
00:59:00So, we'll have some more lead puddings from the OED next week,
00:59:04and until then, Tom Conti says goodbye.
00:59:07There he is.
00:59:09APPLAUSE
00:59:11Philip Howard.
00:59:13Clare Francis.
00:59:16Gail Honeycutt.
00:59:18Patrick Campbell.
00:59:22Frank Muir.
00:59:24And goodbye.
00:59:43Thank you.
00:59:45APPLAUSE
01:00:03Hello again. This is Call My Bluff,
01:00:05featuring the pipe man of yesteryear, Frank Muir.
01:00:09APPLAUSE
01:00:15A few weeks after this programme first started,
01:00:18we had my next guest on as a child star.
01:00:21So how nice to welcome back Hayley Mills.
01:00:24APPLAUSE
01:00:31A few weeks after this programme first started,
01:00:34we had on a boy writer.
01:00:38How nice to welcome back Kingsley Amis.
01:00:41APPLAUSE
01:00:46And now we've got Father O'Flynn's rather tall brother,
01:00:50Patrick Campbell.
01:00:52APPLAUSE
01:00:55Good evening.
01:00:57And Father O'Flynn's rather tall...
01:00:59Well, I leave all that on one side.
01:01:02My team, it seems, are much younger than Frank's,
01:01:05because my first one is that lovely lady typhoon...
01:01:09I mean tycoon.
01:01:11D'Angelento.
01:01:13APPLAUSE
01:01:18And my other one is that hapless mother
01:01:21that got married to Lily Langtry.
01:01:23Anton Rodden.
01:01:25APPLAUSE
01:01:31See if the words are still kept where they should be.
01:01:34Yes, there they are, or there's one of them.
01:01:37What's going to happen, as you may remember,
01:01:40Frank Muir and his team are going to define car-witchered
01:01:43three different ways.
01:01:44Two of them are false, one of them's true,
01:01:46and that's the one that Patrick and co. try and pick out.
01:01:49What do you think of this word, then, Frank?
01:01:51Car-witchered is the English equivalent...
01:01:55No, hang on, it's a Scottish word
01:01:59for what in England is called a donkey's breakfast.
01:02:03LAUGHTER
01:02:06Just a touch.
01:02:09Well, a donkey's breakfast is a kind of shapeless tangle
01:02:13of rope, string, knitting wool, spaghetti, beard, anything really.
01:02:18Anything that's all tangled is a donkey's breakfast.
01:02:21A car-witchered.
01:02:23All right, so it's that, and now Kingsley Amis tells you.
01:02:26Well, car-witchered is a dish that provides a Cree Indian,
01:02:29red Indian, with his daily intake of roughage.
01:02:33Basically, boiled cornmeal, a few potatoes
01:02:37and vegetables of all kinds, and cordon bleu scores
01:02:40that have been known to add a pinch of dried buffalo meat.
01:02:44LAUGHTER
01:02:46Now, Hayley Mills.
01:02:50A car-witchered is part of the equipment of a jokesmith or mirth-maker,
01:02:55it being a hoaxing quibble, question or conundrum.
01:03:00A car-witchered current in 1874,
01:03:05at which Victorians understandably laughed until their corsets burst,
01:03:10was, quote,
01:03:12''How far is it from the 1st of July to London Bridge?''
01:03:17What was the answer?
01:03:19What was the answer?
01:03:21Tell us the answer.
01:03:23The answer is Mo.
01:03:25Well, let me remind you, they said it was a dog's breakfast,
01:03:28a kind of tangle, mess-up, that kind of thing.
01:03:31Ancient sort of joke.
01:03:33And cornmeal eaten by Indians.
01:03:37Yep, Indians. Patrick.
01:03:39I've never heard such a mess in all my life.
01:03:42I've been here for some time.
01:03:46An ancient joke about 1884...
01:03:49About 1884.
01:03:5174, I think it was, yes.
01:03:53Was it?
01:03:55If it lasted the whole year, it was a very thin year, but...
01:03:58LAUGHTER
01:04:00Donkey's breakfast.
01:04:02A little pinch of buffalo mince to finish off.
01:04:07Of course, it's a donkey's breakfast.
01:04:09Everyone knows car-witchered is a donkey's breakfast, I believe.
01:04:12Well, that was certainly what Frank said.
01:04:14Was he telling the truth? Oh, no.
01:04:16I'm afraid...
01:04:17True or bluff?
01:04:18I'm afraid it's true.
01:04:21It's a bluff, isn't it?
01:04:23Da-da-da-da...
01:04:25APPLAUSE
01:04:31Nothing to do with a donkey's breakfast or anything like that.
01:04:34Someone gave the true definition.
01:04:36Declare now. Who gave it?
01:04:38It's there somewhere. I know it is...
01:04:41It's not an ancient joke.
01:04:43Oh, dear.
01:04:44It has to be!
01:04:46APPLAUSE
01:04:52It's a dreadful sort of joke.
01:04:541-0.
01:04:55Next word, pomado.
01:04:57But that's only the way I pronounce it. Patrick.
01:04:59It's called pomado. Uh-huh.
01:05:02If you've got a castor oil factory...
01:05:04LAUGHTER
01:05:06..and they're working away like mad,
01:05:08what a castor oil factory does
01:05:10is to extract castor oil from castor oil seeds.
01:05:13But they've barely begun their day's work
01:05:16because instead of throwing the seedless castor oil,
01:05:20the de-castor oil seeds, away,
01:05:23they preserve it.
01:05:26You got all this, Dan?
01:05:28LAUGHTER
01:05:29There's yet more to come because they also use it
01:05:31for a rather inefficient kind of fertiliser.
01:05:38All right, so, Anton Rogers now, he'll tell you.
01:05:42A pomado is the spherical top
01:05:49of a gatepost.
01:05:52When you have those beautiful ornate gateposts
01:05:55with two synonyms on the top,
01:05:58two balls, stone balls, they're called pomados.
01:06:01They can also be made of wood
01:06:04and you sometimes see them on top of a flagpole,
01:06:09in which case they are spherical with then a point.
01:06:13But the same name applies.
01:06:15That is what a pomado is.
01:06:18Right, Dianne Gelento, your turn.
01:06:20Well, a pomado is something energetic
01:06:23performed by a man and a horse,
01:06:26either of the four-legged or the wooden variety.
01:06:29It is a vault over the said horse,
01:06:32placing the flat of one hand upon the saddle
01:06:35in order to derive the necessary elevation.
01:06:38And it is Rosenbachian.
01:06:42So, vaulting over a horse, wooden or actual,
01:06:45a spherical sort of finial on the top of things,
01:06:50and it's what's left after the castor oil
01:06:53has been pressed from the sea
01:06:55and it's used as fertiliser.
01:06:57It doesn't work very well. Frank?
01:06:59A lot of trouble over there.
01:07:00We are of one mind,
01:07:03which isn't much when it's split into three,
01:07:06but nevertheless, nevertheless,
01:07:08we think that the ball on top of a gatepost
01:07:12is called a ball on top of a gatepost.
01:07:16Vaulting over a horse by putting one hand on the saddle,
01:07:21you then sit on it, wouldn't you,
01:07:23when you got onto the saddle?
01:07:25Not if you wanted to get to the other side, you wouldn't.
01:07:30The castor oil, it clearly cannot be,
01:07:33so therefore... Oh, it's all, isn't it?
01:07:36Oh, in which case, castor oil, Paddy, please.
01:07:39He did say that, didn't he?
01:07:41It's what's pressed out of the castor oil,
01:07:43the seeds all left.
01:07:44Patrick, true or bluff?
01:07:46Ha-ha-ha!
01:07:54Nothing to do with castor oil.
01:07:56Let's have the true definition.
01:07:58Here it comes, you can scarcely wait.
01:08:01You've got it all, the drama.
01:08:03I'm amazed.
01:08:04It's there!
01:08:07APPLAUSE
01:08:10Getting over...
01:08:11It's getting a hold of a horse and jumping over it for some reason.
01:08:14One or...
01:08:16Well, fangot, I'd say, I don't know.
01:08:18Kingsley, what do you think?
01:08:20I think it's fangot.
01:08:22And it comes in the story of the year 1673,
01:08:25to prove it true,
01:08:26there was stolen from a lighter moored in the Thames
01:08:29one whole fangot of white cypress silk.
01:08:32And a fangot is a weight,
01:08:34a measure of weight of 200 weight, roughly.
01:08:40OK, and Hayley, your turn.
01:08:45A fangot is a horny bump
01:08:48that occasionally grows on the upper edge of a horse's hoof.
01:08:53Although slightly disfiguring,
01:08:55it is harmless and quite painless.
01:08:58And for some unknown reason,
01:09:00it always appears on the hind legs
01:09:03and never on the forelegs.
01:09:07Grateful for small mercies.
01:09:09Frank.
01:09:10I'm sick to death of you, do you hear me?
01:09:12I'm sick to death of you.
01:09:13You just lie around, you just stand,
01:09:15you don't do hands-turner work,
01:09:16you come in reeking of booze,
01:09:18you shout at the cut,
01:09:19get out, I say, go on, get out, get out, rubbish.
01:09:23It's a fangot.
01:09:26As you could tell from my accent,
01:09:29it's an explosion of anger
01:09:32in the Midlands, around Leicestershire,
01:09:35usually from the female of the species
01:09:38to and at the male.
01:09:41So, yeah, a burst of rage in Mummerset,
01:09:44I think you said, Frank.
01:09:46It's a lump on a horse's hoof,
01:09:48usually to the front, not the back,
01:09:49and it's a kind of a weight of silk, I think,
01:09:52but it's a weight measure.
01:09:54Anton Rogers.
01:09:56Well, we have quite a varied selection here, don't we?
01:10:00Horny hindleg hoof.
01:10:03I don't think it's that.
01:10:07Didn't really believe the anger, I don't think.
01:10:10Jolly good acting, though, isn't it?
01:10:12Well, I don't know.
01:10:13They're not artists.
01:10:14I'm afraid not.
01:10:15A lot of bluffing there.
01:10:17I think, I really think, that it is a measure.
01:10:20A 200-weight measure.
01:10:22A 200-weight measure.
01:10:23You opt for the measure, you do.
01:10:25Kingsley Amis, true or bluff?
01:10:27Shakes his head.
01:10:28Looks like a bluff.
01:10:29He's got it!
01:10:37Bullseye.
01:10:38A fangert is a weight measure of silk,
01:10:41or it has been, anyway.
01:10:43Carvest is the next one,
01:10:45and, Anton, it's your turn.
01:10:48A Carvest, with a capital C,
01:10:51was a disciple of the late Johann Carvus,
01:10:55a 16th-century Swiss monk.
01:10:58He was a contemporary of Martin Luther,
01:11:01and Brother Carvus, as he was known,
01:11:04advanced theological theories,
01:11:07which brought him into serious disagreement
01:11:09with a certain gentleman in the Vatican,
01:11:11causing a great deal of trouble.
01:11:13Right, and now, Diane, it's your turn.
01:11:18Well, a Carvest is a word from the private language
01:11:22of falconers and hawkers.
01:11:25To them, a Carvest is a bird which,
01:11:27though it is still in its first year,
01:11:29is considered mature enough
01:11:31to be carried about on the wrist
01:11:34and is open to instruction.
01:11:38Yep.
01:11:39So, I think it's your turn, Patrick.
01:11:42Can you picture Pata Familias?
01:11:46A Sunday lunch...
01:11:48Oh, no!
01:11:49..with a huge lump of dead animal in front of him.
01:11:53What's he going to do with it? He's going to carve it, isn't he?
01:11:57And what's he going to be called?
01:11:59None other than...
01:12:00And dating back to the days of Queen Anne,
01:12:03he's called none other than A Carvest.
01:12:11They're whether they laugh or cry with you.
01:12:15It's one who carves.
01:12:17It's a sort of quite young falcon
01:12:20and it's a disciple of Johannes Carvest.
01:12:24So, King Cleave, it's your choice.
01:12:27I don't like that Swiss monk at all.
01:12:29You can go down with me.
01:12:32Portable bird.
01:12:36One year old but mature.
01:12:38And on this double, triple, quadruple bluff notion,
01:12:42I think it's just fantastic enough to be true
01:12:44that it is a carver, one who carves.
01:12:46Well, now, in this programme, it sometimes is,
01:12:49but then again, it sometimes isn't.
01:12:51True or bluff, Patrick, in that case?
01:12:55If I've got it, it always isn't.
01:13:04But that was a plucky try, Kingsley, a very plucky try.
01:13:07But now we have to have the true definition.
01:13:10It's there. It's there. I know it is.
01:13:14There you have it.
01:13:20It's a falcon or hawk in its first year, I think.
01:13:253-1. Next words, solika.
01:13:28Hayley Mills, your turn.
01:13:30A solika was a non-combatant member of the Confederate Army
01:13:36during the American Civil War.
01:13:38He was a civilian cook, a clerk or suchlike.
01:13:42And a somewhat contemptuous name,
01:13:45deriving, it is thought, from the Mexican solika,
01:13:49a breed of desert jackal.
01:13:53Yes. Now it's Frank, your turn.
01:13:58It is Eve.
01:14:02Your Cotswold peasant, weary in body
01:14:06after doing whatever Cotswold peasants did all day,
01:14:10ploughing and mowing and hoeing,
01:14:14lays down his weary bones upon a solika.
01:14:21Which is none other than but
01:14:24a rude mattress
01:14:27stuffed with off-cuttings of the sheep-shearing shed.
01:14:32Sheep-shearing shed.
01:14:35Oh, yes.
01:14:40Desperation has quickened.
01:14:43Kingsley Avis.
01:14:45Well, solika is an Australianism, a fairly modern Australianism,
01:14:49equivalent to utterly smashing,
01:14:52or absolutely top-hell, as a pommy might say.
01:14:55But in Australia, or else called solika,
01:14:58is the fashionable word for anything
01:15:00that would otherwise be described as super dinkum.
01:15:05Right-o, it's sort of non-competent.
01:15:08It's a very rude mattress,
01:15:10and it sort of means top-notch, or thereabouts, in strine.
01:15:15Jan, your choice.
01:15:17Well, I'll start first, because I sort of am Australian,
01:15:21so I've never heard anyone say,
01:15:24it's a solika, baby, nothing like that.
01:15:26I mean, it doesn't sound Australian to me.
01:15:28It would be spelt S-O-L-U-C-K.
01:15:31I think it was in Australianism.
01:15:33And the rude mattress in the Cotswolds.
01:15:38Arr.
01:15:39I mean, they call it a solika, or like that.
01:15:42I mean, a solika.
01:15:45It sounds sort of as though it could be.
01:15:48The non-combatant cook under Desert Jackal.
01:15:54Hmm.
01:15:56It's killing me.
01:15:58What do you think it's doing to us?
01:16:00Well...
01:16:02Well, I think it might be a solika, from the Cotswolds.
01:16:09You think you opt for that mattress
01:16:11on which people have plumped, I dare say, from time to time.
01:16:14True or bluff, Frank?
01:16:17Ah, no.
01:16:19Is it...
01:16:21Is it...
01:16:23It looks quite cheerful somehow.
01:16:25Don't eat it, just show it.
01:16:27APPLAUSE
01:16:33No mattress, it wasn't that.
01:16:35He was just teasing you.
01:16:36Someone was giving the true definition.
01:16:38Which of the other two was it?
01:16:40Oh, no.
01:16:43It's there.
01:16:45APPLAUSE
01:16:48APPLAUSE
01:16:50I'm glad you said you were a sort of Australian.
01:16:53LAUGHTER
01:16:55There you are.
01:16:57It does mean that, you know, it kind of means three cheers,
01:16:59or jolly good, or top-notch.
01:17:01Mankando is the next one, as the game gets interesting.
01:17:03Two, three.
01:17:04Dianne, your turn.
01:17:06Well, mankando is a dress material
01:17:09used for making Mexican peasants' petticoats.
01:17:13LAUGHTER
01:17:15It is a lightweight calico which has been glazed,
01:17:18that is, it's been coated with a mixture of cornstarch
01:17:23and wood rosin
01:17:25to make it look both shiny and have a nice stiffness.
01:17:32Right, Patrick.
01:17:34The manca... Do you mind, please?
01:17:36LAUGHTER
01:17:39The mankando is a sea fog
01:17:42that suddenly swells up
01:17:44around the bottom end of South America,
01:17:46around about Tierra del Fuego.
01:17:50It comes out very suddenly.
01:17:53And you can't see through it. It's a sea fog, you see.
01:17:55Now, the interesting thing about the mankando,
01:17:57the only thing about the mankando,
01:17:59is possible that Sir Francis Drake
01:18:02actually passed through one
01:18:05and didn't record it in his log.
01:18:07LAUGHTER
01:18:09He couldn't see his log.
01:18:12After he had gone through the mankando,
01:18:14he had to fill in something, didn't he?
01:18:16He's not going to write home to his mother in the log.
01:18:21Mankando passed...
01:18:23Next, next. ..through.
01:18:25LAUGHTER
01:18:27Anton, imagine if you can a symphony orchestra
01:18:30that is playing a very quiet passage in a major work.
01:18:35And the conductor needs the orchestra to be even quieter.
01:18:40So instead of mouthing the words...
01:18:45..very quietly,
01:18:47he says...
01:18:49Mankando.
01:18:51LAUGHTER
01:18:53Mankando.
01:18:55LAUGHTER
01:18:57And they... Why doesn't he say quietly?
01:18:59LAUGHTER
01:19:01Well, because he has a little more knowledge than that.
01:19:03He used the word mankando.
01:19:05A lot of Italian musicians have it as well.
01:19:08So what he says is it's very quiet playing.
01:19:11It's a way to get quietness in orchestras.
01:19:13It's stuff for petticoats and it's a kind of sea fog.
01:19:18Hayley, your turn.
01:19:22But you... Don't let me influence you in any way.
01:19:25LAUGHTER
01:19:29I'll just never speak to you again.
01:19:31LAUGHTER
01:19:35Um... Oh.
01:19:38Something's happening. I'm going to speak.
01:19:41The Mexican dress material,
01:19:44the stiff dress material,
01:19:46doesn't quite convince me.
01:19:49The sea fog,
01:19:51South American sea fog,
01:19:53is a romantic idea,
01:19:55to call it a mankando.
01:19:57We're going into a mankando.
01:19:59But still, something's not quite right.
01:20:02I think it has to be mankando.
01:20:07To the orchestra.
01:20:09Well, that was Anton Rogers.
01:20:11Was that all true or did he make it up?
01:20:14He tells you now.
01:20:23LAUGHTER AND APPLAUSE
01:20:25Fair enough.
01:20:31It does need very particularly quiet playing.
01:20:35That's what mankando means.
01:20:37And the score will be three all any minute now.
01:20:41Brunyan is the next word.
01:20:43Oh, and it did come. Frank, brunyan.
01:20:46Brunyan is a word described in most dictionaries
01:20:51rather elliptically
01:20:53as a chamber utensil,
01:20:58by which naturally I infer...
01:21:01Do they mean a thing with a handle?
01:21:04LAUGHTER
01:21:06..a jug or ewer
01:21:08which contains water for you to make your ablutions.
01:21:12It stands inside a basin.
01:21:15A brunyan is a jug or ewer
01:21:18used as a chamber utensil.
01:21:21Good, good.
01:21:23Now we turn to Kingsley Avis.
01:21:26A brunyan is a protective metal stud
01:21:29that is fixed to something that is particularly valuable
01:21:32to prevent wear and tear.
01:21:34Especially they may be implied in the covers
01:21:38of a valuable or much-treasured book,
01:21:41such as a family Bible or a bound volume of the TV Times.
01:21:47And now we have Hayley Mills.
01:21:50A brunyan is a species of peach
01:21:54whose skin is smooth and hairless like an onion.
01:21:58Brunyan, onion.
01:22:00This absence of furriness
01:22:03is attributed by some horticulturalists
01:22:06to the fact that the original brunyan
01:22:09resulted from the illicit and accidental
01:22:12cross-fertilisation with a plum.
01:22:15A plum.
01:22:18Good morning.
01:22:20Smooth peach.
01:22:22An utensil or a stud
01:22:25that protects something of leather,
01:22:28possibly a book cover. Patrick.
01:22:31All this vulgar chat about pots and ewers.
01:22:38Uncomfortable, really, Frank, I thought.
01:22:42A knob to glue the Radio Times together.
01:22:49It couldn't be little Hayley all over again,
01:22:51but it is, because I think...
01:22:56It's a kind of peach, I think.
01:22:58I think it's a peach.
01:23:00Hayley, true or blunt.
01:23:04What changed your mind?
01:23:07I said it, it's too late.
01:23:10Hayley, would you like to own up, my dear?
01:23:13It isn't too late, you know, you could change.
01:23:16It's gone too far now.
01:23:18There's no going back.
01:23:28No-one ever actually has changed
01:23:30in the history of this game, have they?
01:23:32Have they really?
01:23:33Oh, well, shouldn't have mentioned it.
01:23:35It's a peach, all right.
01:23:37Got no hair on it, smooth peach.
01:23:393-4, and the next word is something like caroul, I suppose.
01:23:43Patrick.
01:23:44A carouler?
01:23:45Carouler, is it?
01:23:47Was that upon which senior Roman judges,
01:23:52or even...
01:23:54Good Lord.
01:23:56Judges or magistrates used to sit.
01:24:01You might think this would be a great kind of throne-like thing,
01:24:04but it wasn't.
01:24:05No.
01:24:06It was a little piano stool with kind of curved legs.
01:24:10But a senior Roman magistrate got rather more
01:24:13than just a stool with curved legs,
01:24:15because he got ivory inlaid into his curved leg bit,
01:24:19if he was a very senior Roman magistrate.
01:24:25Anton Rogers.
01:24:27A caroul is a style of handwriting
01:24:32that was first used in the earliest part of the 14th century.
01:24:38If you think of an illustrated manuscript, like the Book of Kells,
01:24:41the first letter is beautifully illuminated and illustrated
01:24:45with lots of flourishes and twirls and squigs.
01:24:48And that, in fact, the name for that, is a caroul.
01:24:54Get away.
01:24:57Very informative. Diane Cianetto.
01:25:00Well, a caroul is a wooden spatula
01:25:03used in the manufacture of felt hats.
01:25:07The hat is placed over a revolving block,
01:25:10and the caroul is held against the crown
01:25:13in order to shape it into a nice fine nap
01:25:17and make it nice and round.
01:25:20It's kind of handwriting.
01:25:22It's what Roman magistrates sat on,
01:25:24and it's a sort of spatula that you use to shape a hat with.
01:25:28Frank?
01:25:30I think that the first letter of an illuminated manuscript
01:25:35is just an illuminated letter.
01:25:37I don't think it has an... It's just the normal manuscript writing.
01:25:40A bit fussier, just at the beginning.
01:25:44Why is everybody laughing over that side?
01:25:47LAUGHTER
01:25:49Whether it's a... I didn't quite follow it,
01:25:51but whether it's a spatula for hatters to batter their felt
01:25:54on upside down with,
01:25:56or whether it's the...
01:25:58I think it's the thing that a magistrate sits on with curved legs.
01:26:01Oh, you do? Well, then, Patrick, who said that?
01:26:04True or bluff, Patrick?
01:26:06Well done, you both.
01:26:08APPLAUSE
01:26:15We've only just got nine time to have the last question,
01:26:18and what an interesting moment we arrive at.
01:26:20So, fairly swiftly, Kingsley, this...
01:26:23Oh, I haven't even rung the bell. I'm so excited.
01:26:26Varela is the next one. Kingsley, rather quickly, if you will.
01:26:29A varela is a high-rise pagoda kind of building,
01:26:32often adorned with gargoyles, golden gargoyles,
01:26:35used by the Burmese.
01:26:37Right. Hayley, your turn. Rather swift.
01:26:40A varela is an artificially dried Spanish raisin.
01:26:44That'll do nicely. I know you've a lot more you want to tell us,
01:26:47but we can't lift you. Frank?
01:26:49A varela is a very energetic Polish dance,
01:26:51also called the hot waltz.
01:26:54So, it's a kind of Burmese shrine effect.
01:26:57It's a very agitated Polish dance,
01:27:00and it's a Spanish raisin.
01:27:03So, having gone so fast now, you can hum and hoar a bit, Anton.
01:27:07Hum and hoar, hum and hoar.
01:27:09That's the style.
01:27:11You want me to do it? Yes, please.
01:27:13Oh, dear, dear. You haven't been listening, have you?
01:27:16Yes, I have, actually. I've been writing, too.
01:27:20I think it's Spanish raisin.
01:27:23You think it's a Spanish raisin.
01:27:25Now, if I can only remember who said that.
01:27:27Yes, it was Hayley.
01:27:29Was that true, or were you teasing Hayley?
01:27:32True or bluff?
01:27:34It's a bluff, isn't it? It's a bluff, yes.
01:27:36It is a bluff!
01:27:38APPLAUSE
01:27:44Calculable bluff.
01:27:47Calculable bluff, calculable bluff.
01:27:49Now, the exciting bit. Who gave the true one?
01:27:55APPLAUSE
01:28:01So, there you have it.
01:28:03It was a Burmese edifice or shrine, sort of thing like that, anyway.
01:28:06That's what a virela is.
01:28:08And so, just by a whisker, 5-4.
01:28:10That's enough. Frank's team has won. Yes.
01:28:13APPLAUSE
01:28:16APPLAUSE
01:28:21Well, we'll be back next week with another pack of lies.
01:28:24Until then, goodbye from Kingsley Amis...
01:28:27APPLAUSE
01:28:29..Anton Rodgers...
01:28:32..Hayley Mill...
01:28:35..Dianne Cilento...
01:28:38..Frank Muir...
01:28:41..Patrick Campbell...
01:28:44..and goodbye.
01:29:10APPLAUSE
01:29:13APPLAUSE
01:29:20Good evening. Call my bluff.
01:29:22Featuring the Mother McCree of the parlour game, Patrick Campbell.
01:29:26APPLAUSE
01:29:32After we got defeated last week by sheer bad luck, a lot of corruption...
01:29:36..nonetheless, my first guest is coming back to our aid,
01:29:40the well-known tycoon, Dianne Cilento.
01:29:43APPLAUSE
01:29:49And the other one that pretty well lost the game for us...
01:29:52LAUGHTER
01:29:54..is Lily Lanktree's husband, or Anton Rodgers.
01:29:57APPLAUSE
01:30:03And the man in the steam-driven bow tie, Frank Muir.
01:30:07APPLAUSE
01:30:11Thank you.
01:30:15After our modest victory of last week,
01:30:18I'm sure you would wish me to bring back, on my right, Hayley Mills.
01:30:23APPLAUSE
01:30:28And on my left, Lily Lanktree's butler...
01:30:31LAUGHTER
01:30:33..Kingsley Amis.
01:30:35APPLAUSE
01:30:40Let's have a word, and that word is griffon.
01:30:43Now, as you remember, on this occasion,
01:30:46Patrick Campbell's team is going to define griffon three different ways.
01:30:50Two false, one true. That's the one that Frank and co. try and pick out.
01:30:54Patrick, this word.
01:30:56On the 2nd of July...
01:30:59..1866...
01:31:01..the Irish Evening News...
01:31:05..a great newspaper, now defunct.
01:31:08A little story about that size, and this was a story in its entirety.
01:31:13It said...
01:31:15"..William Sheen hit Tom Sheen on the head with a griffon."
01:31:21LAUGHTER
01:31:23Now, the interesting thing about this story...
01:31:26The interesting thing was...
01:31:28..that William Sheen should not have been hitting his brother
01:31:31on the head with his griffon, he ought to have been cutting turf with it.
01:31:35But there's a little known fact.
01:31:38It was a sort of turf-cutting...
01:31:41Rather a brother-buffeter or a turf-cutter.
01:31:44Yes.
01:31:46Useful, one or the other, I suppose.
01:31:48Anyway, Anton Rogers.
01:31:51Well, William Sheen was walking down the beach one day
01:31:55and suddenly he saw this piece of driftwood
01:31:59and he said,
01:32:00"'Ah, there is a piece of griffon!'
01:32:04Most people would have called it driftwood,
01:32:06but he called it a griffon,' which was his correct name.
01:32:09A floating turf-cutter.
01:32:11"'Because he came from the Orkneys and the Shekherds,
01:32:15"'and only there do they call this driftwood griffon,
01:32:21"'and they use it for firewood.'"
01:32:25And it is, in fact, the name for it, griffon.