S13 E18 Angela Rippon, Serena Sinclair, Peter Egan, Alan Garner.
S13 E19 Nerys Hughes, Diane Keen, Ian Ogilvy, Tim Rice.
S13 E120 Nerys Hughes, Diane Keen, Ian Ogilvy, Tim Rice.
Host/Team captains: Robert Robinson, Frank Muir, Patrick Campbell.
S13 E19 Nerys Hughes, Diane Keen, Ian Ogilvy, Tim Rice.
S13 E120 Nerys Hughes, Diane Keen, Ian Ogilvy, Tim Rice.
Host/Team captains: Robert Robinson, Frank Muir, Patrick Campbell.
Category
😹
FunTranscript
00:00:00Trasse houses.
00:00:02LAUGHTER
00:00:04It's eventually used as fuel to boil and hence refine the sugar from which it came.
00:00:11Yes. And now, Serena, your turn.
00:00:15A trasse is a term that chair makers use.
00:00:18It tells you the angle of splay of the back legs of a chair,
00:00:22so that if you have a very low kitchen chair, perhaps a rather uncomfortable one,
00:00:26it has a low area of trasse.
00:00:30LAUGHTER
00:00:32You're splashing now.
00:00:33And if you have a winter chair, which perhaps more people like to collect,
00:00:36there's a very high angle of trasse.
00:00:40Well, it's this strange grey stuff that you use for hydraulic cement,
00:00:46and it's the angle of the chair leg, the back leg of the chair,
00:00:50and it's sugarcane stalks after the sugar's been removed.
00:00:53Frank can choose.
00:00:55I mean, can? You mean I have a choice?
00:00:58Yes, it might make it more interesting.
00:01:00Well, no, no, it's fine. It's very interesting, this round, very interesting.
00:01:05Angle of trasse of chairs might have heard it.
00:01:08One of us might have heard it at some time, but it seems to be an unlikely word,
00:01:12because it sounds like truss and triss and trish and trash and things.
00:01:16I'm not sure a technical word would be so close to other words.
00:01:21Pumice stone from Germany.
00:01:23It's well known that pumice stone was invented and imported into this country
00:01:28by Lord Pumice Stone, after whom it was...
00:01:31LAUGHTER
00:01:33And, er...
00:01:34You've got the wrong notes, I think.
00:01:36LAUGHTER
00:01:38And people who live in truss houses built from the waste...
00:01:44Well, people do, and the waste of sugar, the actual cane, is burned to produce it.
00:01:50But is it called trass? We think it is. We think it's the sugar cane.
00:01:54That was Peter Egan's definition. Was that true? Was it a bluff?
00:02:01Oh, dear.
00:02:03It's a bluff.
00:02:05APPLAUSE
00:02:10I wonder what it really is. What is trass?
00:02:13When you really come right down to it...
00:02:15Simply hydraulic cement.
00:02:17LAUGHTER
00:02:20Hydraulic cement.
00:02:24What's hydraulic cement? Don't ask me.
00:02:27I think we should, as they say, draw a veil over that.
00:02:31But it certainly is this sort of pumice substance that you squash up
00:02:34and make a kind of cement from.
00:02:36And MOBA is the next one, at this interesting juncture. Frank?
00:02:40It's made of hay-oo-ool.
00:02:43LAUGHTER
00:02:45We've got to get the A and E. Made of hay-oo-ool.
00:02:49And it's your Welsh lord, your Welsh lord, on his march,
00:02:53has got his estate.
00:02:56And if you're a tenant farmer and want to marry a girl from the village,
00:03:01you have to pay, you had to pay the lord of the manor
00:03:06a fee for marrying a girl, and it was called an MOBA.
00:03:10What a drama. Yes.
00:03:12LAUGHTER
00:03:14Pretty rotten thing, wasn't it, really?
00:03:16Alan Gardner. It is, in fact, Paddy, pure drama,
00:03:19in that this one is not Latin, but Greek,
00:03:22with a deprivative prefix, a,
00:03:25and it is used to describe an interlude divertissement,
00:03:30or a recitation of songs and poems
00:03:33in between a performance of plays in a Greek amphitheatre.
00:03:39Yep.
00:03:41And Angela?
00:03:43An AMOBA is a distant relative, but very distant relative,
00:03:47in terms of distance and its make-up, of the house fly.
00:03:51It's found in Australia, and it's a rather small fly
00:03:55that likes to lay its eggs in dark, warm places,
00:03:59and the eggs of an AMOBA fly have even been found
00:04:03within the pooch, or pouch, rather, of a kangaroo.
00:04:06The pooch of a kangaroo?
00:04:08I can't hear your words.
00:04:10The pooch of a kangaroo.
00:04:12There's one that's fluttering a dog.
00:04:14Even the kangaroo of a pooch.
00:04:17It's a Greek recital of... Sort of interlude,
00:04:20a Greek recital of poems in between other sorts of entertainment,
00:04:24sort of a fly, and a sort of feudal fee paid by the Welsh.
00:04:30Patrick?
00:04:32What was all that...
00:04:34HE MUMBLES
00:04:36Don't tell me, I'm just trying to guess.
00:04:39HE MUMBLES
00:04:42Australians call flies flies, I think.
00:04:46I'm pretty sure of that.
00:04:48Well, they add a few words to it.
00:04:50A Greek play on divertissement.
00:04:56I think of...
00:04:58HE MUMBLES
00:05:00You think it was the Welsh medieval thing.
00:05:05True or bluff, Frank?
00:05:07Hang on.
00:05:11It's there. True or bluff?
00:05:13It's a bluff, isn't it?
00:05:15APPLAUSE
00:05:24Well, well, well, yes.
00:05:26It's this Welsh due that is paid if you have to marry the girl,
00:05:30and so forth.
00:05:325-3, and...
00:05:34I'd better ring the bell.
00:05:36Nearly forgot. Ruit is the next one.
00:05:38Peter Egan's turn.
00:05:41A ruit is a smaller-than-average-size trumpet
00:05:45that may be made to measure for a boy bugler.
00:05:49Or Ronnie Corbett.
00:05:54You don't half-say them quick, do you?
00:05:56Right. Serena, your turn.
00:05:58A ruit is a very tender expression of regret.
00:06:01You know, when you fail to write a thank-you letter,
00:06:04when you've not told the person you love that you love them.
00:06:07That's what you've got. You've got this ruit with you all the time.
00:06:11That's what it is. Right, she says that.
00:06:13Now it's Patrick's turn.
00:06:15A ruit was a breed of pig
00:06:17that was used to gallop about on the Isle of Man.
00:06:20I say used to gallop about on the Isle of Man
00:06:23because the last ruit to be seen on the Isle of Man...
00:06:26Fell off.
00:06:28..was in 17...
00:06:31..was in 1794.
00:06:34Sort of pig on the Isle of Man.
00:06:37Used to run about there and doesn't do it any more.
00:06:40Small trumpet suitable for a small boy.
00:06:42And a feeling of regret.
00:06:44Yes, a feeling of regret.
00:06:46Alan Gardner. His choice.
00:06:49We are unanimous in that my companions tell me
00:06:53that it's what I think it is not.
00:06:55Your choice. My choice.
00:06:58Small trumpet, no.
00:07:01No.
00:07:03Regret is too good.
00:07:06I have fallen down on Paddy before now,
00:07:10but I have been so severely treated in this experience by Serena
00:07:14that I'm going to be malicious and say it's Serena even if it is not.
00:07:17She spoke, didn't she, of it being a feeling of regret,
00:07:20and she's now rather...
00:07:22She doesn't look as if she regrets it.
00:07:25APPLAUSE
00:07:32Every time you have gone to the mat with Serena, you have lost.
00:07:36Well, well.
00:07:37Anyway, so who gave the true definition of this interesting word?
00:07:41You need to fall over me this time,
00:07:43because if you have a piece of baby...
00:07:45APPLAUSE
00:07:52You said it was a baby trumpet, a baby trumpet it was.
00:07:55Did you believe it? You didn't, but there.
00:07:57So, the score standing at 6-3...
00:07:59Hydraulic cement.
00:08:01Fairly comfortable win there for Patrick's team.
00:08:05APPLAUSE
00:08:15We'll make another trip to the waxworks next week.
00:08:18Until then, goodbye from Peter Egan.
00:08:21APPLAUSE
00:08:24Alan Garner.
00:08:29Serena Sinclair.
00:08:33Angela Bloom.
00:08:37Patrick Campbell.
00:08:40Frank Lloyd.
00:08:42Luke.
00:08:44And goodbye.
00:09:00MUSIC
00:09:09APPLAUSE
00:09:19Hello. Call My Bluff, featuring the sage of Egham, Frank Muir.
00:09:24APPLAUSE
00:09:30My first guest has been frequently on the other side of the house,
00:09:34but this time, it's nice to be on the winning team,
00:09:37and it's the actress and mother, Norris Hugh.
00:09:41APPLAUSE
00:09:47My second guest is a writer who writes lyrics for songs,
00:09:52and he's also written a couple of operas,
00:09:54Jesus Christ Superstar and Evita.
00:09:56It's Tim Rice.
00:09:58APPLAUSE
00:10:04And Father O'Flynn's tall, thin brother, Patrick Campbell.
00:10:08APPLAUSE
00:10:14Never to be outdone by the other team,
00:10:17my first partner is also a mother,
00:10:21and she's an actress as well.
00:10:25From Rings On Their Fingers, Diane Keane.
00:10:28APPLAUSE
00:10:35And the other lad is fresh for canonisation,
00:10:38but the saint could only be Ian Ogilvy.
00:10:41APPLAUSE
00:10:48Right. See if there's a word there.
00:10:50There must be. Three.
00:10:52Well, anyway, long gom pa is produced as one single word,
00:10:57and that's the word that Frank Muir and co.
00:10:59are going to define three different ways.
00:11:01Two of the definitions are no good, one of them's all right,
00:11:04and that's what Patrick and co. try and pick out.
00:11:06So, long gom pa.
00:11:09Frank?
00:11:11Long gom pa is a Tibetan monk endowed with mystical powers.
00:11:18He is able to walk at the speed of 15 miles an hour.
00:11:23Now, a normal walking pace, as you know,
00:11:26is approximately four miles an hour.
00:11:28But in the Tibetan hills...
00:11:32..15 miles an hour.
00:11:34People have probably put an abacus on him,
00:11:36but nobody has yet put a stopwatch on him
00:11:38to know exactly the speed.
00:11:40It's about 15 miles an hour.
00:11:42But it is recorded that several long gom pa's
00:11:48have achieved several hundred miles a day of walking.
00:11:52Tibet.
00:11:55Right, so that's what Frank says now.
00:11:57Here comes Tim Rice, he'll tell you something.
00:11:59Well, if you're a Chihuahua Indian,
00:12:02then the word long gom pa, or lung gom pa,
00:12:04is just as common as the word canoe is, if you're English.
00:12:07And that's what it is, it's a canoe.
00:12:09And it's a very simple, basic canoe made out of a tree
00:12:13and a bit in the middle taken out so you can sit in it
00:12:16and paddle about where the Indians are,
00:12:18who I believe originate from Venezuela.
00:12:21So it's just their canoe.
00:12:23Yep, so that's what he says now.
00:12:25Nerys Hughes.
00:12:27Long gom pa is a Maori word, and obviously from New Zealand,
00:12:32and it's three-pronged, sort of carved wooden stake
00:12:36which they stick in the ground for ceremonies and things.
00:12:39And I suppose we Europeans would think it was a trident of some sort,
00:12:43but, in fact, it's meant to represent a thunderbolt, a long gom pa.
00:12:48Right, they say that it's some kind of a canoe.
00:12:51It's this Maori staff, sort of sacred staff, really,
00:12:55and a very fast-to-beaten monk, walks 50 miles an hour.
00:12:59Patrick.
00:13:01Unanimous here.
00:13:03We believe with certainty that it could not...
00:13:10We're fairly sure that it isn't a Maori trident,
00:13:15although, don't go away.
00:13:18A canoe, don't say.
00:13:21People are walking up and down mountains at 15 miles an hour.
00:13:25It's a tricky one, Pad.
00:13:27I agree with you there, but it's you.
00:13:29Yes.
00:13:31You're a Tibetan monking.
00:13:33It was Frank who said it was a fast-walking Tibetan monk,
00:13:3750 miles an hour, draw a bluff.
00:13:40It can't be true, but it is.
00:13:42Well done, and you get up.
00:13:45It is.
00:13:47That is nicely up on that.
00:13:49Yes, long gom pa is a Tibetan monk who can do that.
00:13:53Bonham's the next one.
00:13:55Patrick defines bonham for you.
00:13:57It's a carter.
00:13:59Are you ready?
00:14:01A bonham is an Irish word for a piglet.
00:14:04A what?
00:14:06Have you never heard of a piglet?
00:14:08It's a young pig that's still living off its mother.
00:14:13I won't go into it by what means.
00:14:16Now, if you should happen to be in possession of a copy
00:14:21of Joyce Carey's marvellous novel,
00:14:23called Castle Corner, is it?
00:14:26No, not called.
00:14:28You turn to page 275, and you see a line there.
00:14:32I don't remember which line it is.
00:14:34It says, she was plump as a bonham.
00:14:37I just checked that quotation.
00:14:39Look at my notes.
00:14:41No, she was as fat as a bonham.
00:14:43I want to be absolutely right about this.
00:14:45She was fat as a bonham.
00:14:47I don't know who she was.
00:14:49I haven't finished yet.
00:14:51I can't remember who she was, but she was as fat as a bonham.
00:14:54Or piglet.
00:14:56It's a marvellous memory to remember the page number,
00:14:58but not the book.
00:15:00Anyway, let's see what Ian Ogilvie says after that.
00:15:04Yes, well, if you were an American blue-collar worker
00:15:08in the late 1800s,
00:15:10you might wear a bonham.
00:15:12You probably would.
00:15:14It was a semi-protective hat with a curly brim,
00:15:17and it was made of a mixture of felt and goat's hair,
00:15:21which gave it a curiously shaggy appearance.
00:15:24It looked really as though it needed a shave.
00:15:26And that's what a bonham was.
00:15:28It was a hard hat worn by American workers in the late 1800s.
00:15:32So that's what you say.
00:15:34Now let's see what Diane Keane says.
00:15:37Picture, if you will,
00:15:40an old-fashioned sweetie shop
00:15:43with rows and rows of jars,
00:15:46big jars full of humbugs and boiled sweets
00:15:49and all those lovely things,
00:15:51and you lift off the heavy lid
00:15:53and you delve your hand in and grab a handful.
00:15:56You will be delving into a bonham,
00:15:59because a bonham is a confectioner's jar made of glass,
00:16:03and you can still find them sometimes today
00:16:06in oldie-worldie sweetie shops.
00:16:08Right.
00:16:10It seems it's a hard hat worn by blue-collar workers in America.
00:16:13It's a piglet,
00:16:15and it's a sweet jar of the old-fashioned sort.
00:16:18So Frank has to pick one of those.
00:16:21Fairly quickly.
00:16:23It can't be a piglet.
00:16:26Semi-protective hat worn by a white-collar worker.
00:16:30Blue.
00:16:32Blue-collar? What colour was the hat?
00:16:34There is a medicine.
00:16:36This person, this child stealing sweets from a jar,
00:16:40bonham, could be...
00:16:42It was the jar itself, Frank, if you...
00:16:45I don't want you to be deluded.
00:16:47It's irreverent.
00:16:49I think clearly it's this ridiculous pig of Paddy's.
00:16:53You think clearly it's the piglet of which Patrick spoke?
00:16:56I think murkily that it's the piglet, rather than clearly.
00:16:59A murky choice, true or bluff?
00:17:03Well done, Frank.
00:17:05APPLAUSE
00:17:13A bonham's a small pig in Ireland.
00:17:16Nudie is the next word.
00:17:18Tim Rice tells you about nudie.
00:17:22Nudie is in fact nowdie,
00:17:24and nowdie was very big in Edinburgh drawing rooms in the 17th century.
00:17:28It's a card game, not unlike cribbage,
00:17:31and it never really caught on in England except briefly,
00:17:34about the same time, when it was actually then called,
00:17:37for some bizarre reason, the Lord Mayor of Coventry.
00:17:40What a jumble of rubbish!
00:17:45Bear it in mind, however, as we pass to Nerys.
00:17:48Well, nowdie, and I'm using a Welsh accent on purpose,
00:17:51cos it's a Welsh word, and they use it in the West Country as well, I think,
00:17:54but it is a Welsh word,
00:17:56is when a cow has got some sort of hepatitis,
00:17:59and it can't actually manufacture cream in the milk,
00:18:03and so the milk comes out all sort of bluey and thin.
00:18:06And so the farmers say,
00:18:08Oh, she's going nowdie.
00:18:10Or shall we nowdie?
00:18:14Plus she's got hepatitis as well.
00:18:16They can't be too jolly.
00:18:18It's still good for a laugh here, as ever.
00:18:20Frank, your turn.
00:18:22Nowdie is a word from the private language
00:18:25of boys of Winchester School.
00:18:28Nowdie.
00:18:30To your Wickhamist...
00:18:32You didn't go to Wickham, did you?
00:18:34To your Wickhamist,
00:18:36a nowdie is a non-swimmer,
00:18:39a chap who doesn't go in for swimming.
00:18:43Humiliating fact.
00:18:45End of summer term,
00:18:47list of nowdies was printed in the local paper.
00:18:50Oh, I don't believe that.
00:18:52That is your privilege, Patrick.
00:18:54I know what my privilege is.
00:18:56They say that it's a card game
00:18:58that was also known by another name,
00:19:00the Lord Mayor of Coventry, I think.
00:19:02It's a non-swimmer at Winchester,
00:19:04and it's very nasty milk.
00:19:06You're out on your own.
00:19:08Ian Ogilvie... Oh, it's me.
00:19:10..is out on his own.
00:19:12Unusual help to my team?
00:19:14Hmm.
00:19:16Well, 17th-century Scottish card game.
00:19:20That was yours, Tim, wasn't it?
00:19:22Yes, I suppose it could be.
00:19:24It doesn't really sound very 17th-century, does it?
00:19:27Not to me, anyway. Good point.
00:19:29And then Frank's Winchester School slang,
00:19:32a very dangerous one.
00:19:34An awful lot of people know Winchester School slang.
00:19:37I'm not one of them, but never mind.
00:19:41And Nerys's cow disease with blue milk.
00:19:45Has anybody ever heard of blue milk?
00:19:48Actually, I rather like that,
00:19:50and I'm going to choose Nerys's.
00:19:52I think blue milk.
00:19:54The blue milk which she said was maddening.
00:19:57True or bluff?
00:19:59APPLAUSE
00:20:06Blue milk is often tinged with blue, if you've noticed.
00:20:09Who gave the true definition?
00:20:12There it is.
00:20:14APPLAUSE
00:20:18It's a card game.
00:20:20Otherwise known as Lord Mayor of Coventry.
00:20:23Jum or jume is the next one.
00:20:26Ian Ogilvy.
00:20:28Ogilvy, your turn.
00:20:30Thank you very much.
00:20:32Drunk again.
00:20:34Please continue.
00:20:36Jume, actually.
00:20:38It's jume.
00:20:40And it's a method of cultivating...
00:20:42I can't do it either.
00:20:44It's catchy, isn't it?
00:20:46Method of cultivating virgin forests
00:20:49east of Chittagong...
00:20:51Chittagong.
00:20:53I got that right.
00:20:55Chittagong in India.
00:20:58And it's a very wasteful way of cultivating virgin forests
00:21:01east of Chittagong in India,
00:21:03because what you do is you take your seeds
00:21:05and you go to your bit of virgin land
00:21:07and you set fire to all the trees and they all burn down.
00:21:09Then you plant your seeds and when they come up,
00:21:11you harvest them, eat the stuff,
00:21:13move on, set fire to some more trees,
00:21:15they all burn down and so on,
00:21:17which is why there aren't an awful lot of trees
00:21:19east of Chittagong in India.
00:21:21That's a jume.
00:21:23So now we ask Diane Keane to have a go at it.
00:21:28Jume.
00:21:30Look at me when I'm talking to you.
00:21:32Please.
00:21:34I was saying a little joke to my friend.
00:21:36I have got a quotation for you.
00:21:39It is from the works of the late Mr Robbie Burrens
00:21:43and it says here,
00:21:45the cricket beasties drudge and drive,
00:21:48hog shoulder jume and stretch and strive.
00:21:52And jume is a Scottish word
00:21:55for nudging or jogging
00:21:58or tossling.
00:22:00Somebody out of the way.
00:22:02Something out of the way. Jume.
00:22:04Silly word.
00:22:06So, now Patrick.
00:22:08Jume
00:22:10is a kind of semi-fireproof paste
00:22:13which is used...
00:22:15Hydraulic cement.
00:22:17..in kilns.
00:22:19And if you've got something,
00:22:21a little pot around that side,
00:22:23about that round,
00:22:25delicately painted with enamel.
00:22:28If you put all that lot into a kiln,
00:22:30you're going to lose your enamel,
00:22:32because it's burnt off.
00:22:34Yes.
00:22:35Yeah.
00:22:36But you can prevent this burning off by...
00:22:38It is an iron knocker.
00:22:40Iron oxy.
00:22:42Iron oxide.
00:22:44Which you paint over your enamel.
00:22:46It's just boring.
00:22:48LAUGHTER
00:22:50Bang it all into the kiln.
00:22:52And when she's fired beautifully,
00:22:54take her out.
00:22:56When she gets cold,
00:22:58and wipe the jume, as it's called in the potteries,
00:23:01wipe your jume off,
00:23:03and you've got a beautiful jar,
00:23:05enameled and fired.
00:23:07In the shorter time that it takes to describe.
00:23:10LAUGHTER
00:23:12Yes, it's a sort of fireproof paste.
00:23:15It's cultivation of forest land in India,
00:23:18in a certain part of India,
00:23:20and it's a jostle or a nudge.
00:23:22Tim Rice to choose.
00:23:24Well, I think I'll try a new method of detection,
00:23:27which is sheer guesswork.
00:23:29LAUGHTER
00:23:32They're all ludicrous,
00:23:34but two I didn't even understand.
00:23:36So, which leaves Ian's virgin forest.
00:23:39Despite that, I'm not going to go for it.
00:23:42I've got this niggling feeling
00:23:44that it's something to do with iron oxide.
00:23:46So, Patrick, reveal all.
00:23:48He did say something about iron oxide.
00:23:50I heard him, I was sitting here.
00:23:52Was that true or bluff?
00:23:54I tried to say iron oxide,
00:23:56and did in the end to some success.
00:23:58APPLAUSE
00:24:05It wasn't iron oxide, it was something else.
00:24:08What was it? Here comes the true one.
00:24:10Must be there.
00:24:12Oh, probably it was.
00:24:16APPLAUSE
00:24:22It is that particular wasteful,
00:24:25rather wasteful method of cultivation
00:24:27of forest land.
00:24:29That part of India.
00:24:31Two all.
00:24:33Trantles or Trantles is the next one.
00:24:35Nerys, I don't know how you pronounce it.
00:24:37Oh, Trantles. You're right.
00:24:39Trantles are useless things or unwanted things
00:24:42that you might give to a jumble sale,
00:24:44but, I mean, they're even...
00:24:46No, you shouldn't give them to a jumble sale.
00:24:48It's like giving one welly
00:24:50or a pack of cards that's incomplete
00:24:53or a chipped vase or something like that.
00:24:55In other words, useless bric-a-brac.
00:24:58Oh. Yes.
00:25:00Right. What's wrong with one welly?
00:25:03It's a Trantles. It's an is, not a them.
00:25:07If you see what I mean. It's singular.
00:25:09Although it's a plural word.
00:25:11And it's very dull, so I'll do it very briefly.
00:25:13It's an iron door down a coal mine.
00:25:16LAUGHTER
00:25:18It is normally closed,
00:25:20but sometimes they open it to let the truck through.
00:25:23And I don't know why it's there.
00:25:25Perhaps it's to keep the canaries in
00:25:27or to keep drafts out or something,
00:25:29but that's what it is.
00:25:31So, that, and now let's see what Tim Rice has to say.
00:25:35Well, if you're in a monastery situation...
00:25:37LAUGHTER
00:25:39..if you're a monk or a nun, or both,
00:25:42then often there are things you do which aren't actually religious.
00:25:46I mean, there are things that have to be done,
00:25:48even in monasteries, like scrubbing the pig or hoeing turnips.
00:25:52And when people in monasteries or nunneries
00:25:55do things that aren't religious,
00:25:57they still sometimes burst into song.
00:25:59And it's usually ad lib with no set tune, no set words,
00:26:03but trantles, or one trantle, but trantles,
00:26:06it's usually in the plural,
00:26:08they are ad lib religious songs
00:26:11which aren't, you know, to be found in your regular hymn book.
00:26:14Or any hymn book.
00:26:16Well, it's a door in a mine, sometimes open, sometimes not.
00:26:20It's a nun's or a monk's work song, that kind of thing,
00:26:23and it's bits and pieces you don't want much.
00:26:26Diane, your choice.
00:26:28Don't start talking yet, we're still in conference.
00:26:30I'd like a song.
00:26:32A song, only in rows.
00:26:34I'm on my own.
00:26:36Fine.
00:26:38Er...
00:26:40A mostly closed iron door down a coal mine, Frank.
00:26:45Rubbish. I...
00:26:47It's good.
00:26:49Well, I don't know, I don't know,
00:26:51but the canaries fooled me, you see, that was what got me.
00:26:55And the ad lib chanting that Tim was telling us about
00:27:00in a nunnery or a monastery,
00:27:03I don't know, I just feel that if they did burst into song,
00:27:07they'd have a much more exotic name
00:27:09for something as spontaneous as that.
00:27:11That's a very exotic word, trantles.
00:27:13Do you think so? Oh, yes, perhaps it is.
00:27:16And then, of course, useless bric-a-brac.
00:27:19Useless bric-a-brac.
00:27:21Well, I think that appealed to me most,
00:27:23useless bric-a-brac from Nerys.
00:27:25You choose it. Nerys, true or bluff?
00:27:28Frightened, but I'm afraid not frightened.
00:27:30Seven and a half.
00:27:38Trantles is that sort of useless bits and pieces, bric-a-brac.
00:27:42Two, three, and we have scopoloit.
00:27:45Diane Keane can tell you about it.
00:27:48Scopoloit is a fishing term.
00:27:54It is basically a wooden trough, V-shaped,
00:27:59which is used on trawlers,
00:28:02and what you do with it is you get it on the deck of the trawler
00:28:07and you put it down at an angle to the hold
00:28:09and you shovel all your poor, unfortunate herrings
00:28:12that have just been caught
00:28:13and they shoot down your scopoloit into the hold.
00:28:16That's a good idea. It's made of wood.
00:28:18Good idea.
00:28:19Yes, it might be that.
00:28:21Now, Patrick is going to tell us.
00:28:24Scopoloit is a Scottish name
00:28:27which is no longer used, thank God,
00:28:30for a divot in the game of golf, as I believe they call it.
00:28:34They stole that game anyway from the Dutch and never invented it at all.
00:28:38But anyway, this lot,
00:28:41watching people playing golf,
00:28:44and they see somebody coming down a little bit too quick from the top,
00:28:48so he strikes the ground about a foot behind the ball,
00:28:51and what happened to his golf club?
00:28:53It sticks in the mud.
00:28:55And he wakes up a couple of minutes later,
00:28:57he's fat on his back,
00:29:00about a couple of yards away,
00:29:02because his scopoloit is too long.
00:29:07If he pinched the ball, if he came in properly, you see,
00:29:11and his scopoloit had begun just beyond the ball...
00:29:15What is a scopoloit?
00:29:17A divot!
00:29:18What's a divot?
00:29:19I'm trying to explain what a divot is.
00:29:21That's the next word, Nellie.
00:29:25If you don't know what a divot is...
00:29:27Is it the man or the club?
00:29:29No, it's a piece of mud that comes out...
00:29:32What's the mud?
00:29:34That comes a quarter of an hour later, if I haven't been interfered with.
00:29:38Do you feel you've said more or less enough, do you think?
00:29:42I think now, Ian, it's your go.
00:29:44Yes.
00:29:45I am afraid I'm going to lower the tone of this proceeding completely,
00:29:48because in the Fen country,
00:29:51a scopoloit is a larking about, a prancing about,
00:29:54a kicking up on the heels, generally having a good time,
00:29:57and in Cambridgeshire, it has been known for a scopolite,
00:30:02or something like that,
00:30:04to lead to horseplay of a somewhat improper nature.
00:30:08Get away!
00:30:09Yes, I'm afraid so.
00:30:11Cambridgeshire?
00:30:12That is scopoloit.
00:30:13You can get trains there, can't you?
00:30:17It's this kind of shoot that you've got to pour the herrings down.
00:30:20It's the divot, another name for a divot,
00:30:23and it's playtime in Cambridgeshire.
00:30:26So, Nellie, you know a divot is that thing...
00:30:29The divot's the muddy golfer lying with his club beside him.
00:30:34Yes, sexy games in Cambridgeshire.
00:30:38Hmm.
00:30:39Yes, it sounds a bit like that,
00:30:41but perhaps that's a bit too obvious, really.
00:30:43And I really couldn't make head nor tail, as you all know, of Paddy's.
00:30:47I mean, I never did know.
00:30:49It is the mud, is it, Paddy?
00:30:51It is the mud.
00:30:52It doesn't have to be mud. It can be dry earth as well.
00:30:55What do you stick in?
00:30:57Yes, I see.
00:30:58And, um...
00:31:00Well, I think it sounds most like Diane's...
00:31:06The wooden trough for the fish.
00:31:08The herring shoot.
00:31:09Yes.
00:31:10Diane, you did talk of that, didn't you?
00:31:12Was that true or bluff? She'll tell you now.
00:31:19No?
00:31:20APPLAUSE
00:31:23No.
00:31:26Let's see who of the other two gave the true definition.
00:31:29Let's see.
00:31:30No, it turns out...
00:31:31No, no, no. There you are.
00:31:33APPLAUSE
00:31:34Well, well, well done.
00:31:36Well, well, well done.
00:31:38It's having a rollick in Cambridgeshire.
00:31:42The next word is divot.
00:31:44No, it isn't. It's cablish.
00:31:46And Frank, you're up to cablish or cablish?
00:31:48Cablish. You get a lot of this in, um...
00:31:51In Mauritius.
00:31:53You get a bit in Oklahoma.
00:31:55You get quite a bit of it on the islands in the China seas.
00:31:58You get a bit of it in Cambridgeshire.
00:32:00You don't get it in Streatham, but you get it in Cambridgeshire.
00:32:03Because it's the debris of twigs and branches
00:32:07and it's a generic term for lumps of tree and wood
00:32:11which are left after a typhoon came in the China seas
00:32:18or cyclone in Mauritius or tornado in Oklahoma
00:32:22or just a gale in England.
00:32:24You don't get it in Streatham because there aren't many trees.
00:32:27But if you had trees in Streatham,
00:32:29you would find cablish on the ground.
00:32:31It has medieval, medieval, legal overtones
00:32:36because they were fined for that sort of thing in medieval times.
00:32:40Cablish.
00:32:42Tim Rice, would you like to have a go at it?
00:32:45Yes.
00:32:48It's cablish.
00:32:50Not cablish, as you might think, but cablish.
00:32:52And it basically means let us pray.
00:32:55But it's a call to all Mohammedans.
00:32:57And at the very sound of a cablish,
00:33:00which it says here is intoned by a muezzin from his minaret,
00:33:03not by a minaret from his muezzin,
00:33:05but by a muezzin from his minaret,
00:33:08that produces the cablish, which means let us pray.
00:33:11All Mohammedans will instantly prostrate themselves
00:33:14in the direction of Mecca, which is that way.
00:33:18Nerys, your turn.
00:33:20A cablish is, I'm afraid to say, connected to the armpit.
00:33:24And it's a tailor's word.
00:33:26And you know, if you have your suits tailor-made,
00:33:30that underneath the arm there's a seam, and...
00:33:34What's a seam?
00:33:37Now, that seam is called a cablish
00:33:40because it's to accommodate how much you wave your arms around, really,
00:33:44whether to make it fan-shaped so that it can give
00:33:47or whether to make it quite a tight cablish
00:33:50so that, you know, if you're quite an upright sort of person.
00:33:53It's a seam.
00:33:55Right.
00:33:57Sort of branches from trees falling about all over the place.
00:34:00It also means let us pray.
00:34:02And it's the whole...
00:34:04where the seam parts to let the sleeve go in on a jacket.
00:34:08Patrick.
00:34:10I think you're on your own, Patrick.
00:34:12Thank you.
00:34:14Oh, hello.
00:34:16Yes, I am.
00:34:18Well, anyway...
00:34:20You're all right, four.
00:34:22I don't believe that any suit was ever made...
00:34:25You don't go into a tailor and say,
00:34:28I wave my arms about a lot...
00:34:32..to give you plenty of cablish.
00:34:34He's shrewd.
00:34:36I don't believe that could possibly be...
00:34:39Let us pray can't possibly be cablish.
00:34:42Debris... There are trees in Streatham.
00:34:46Dismiss me at your...
00:34:50I think it's... I don't...
00:34:54It's let us pray.
00:34:57That's what Tim Rice said.
00:34:59Is it true? Is it a bluff?
00:35:01Slowly, slowly.
00:35:04Oh!
00:35:06APPLAUSE
00:35:08That's only four oils.
00:35:10No, no, not that, not that.
00:35:12Now, who of the others gave the true definition of cablish cables?
00:35:17There you are.
00:35:19APPLAUSE
00:35:23It means all those bits fallen down from trees,
00:35:26branches and the like, twigs and so on.
00:35:29Corrigan is the next one. Patrick.
00:35:31A corrigan...
00:35:33An old Irish peasant word for a flat iron.
00:35:37It's so old-fashioned that you can only warm it
00:35:40by putting it on an open fire.
00:35:43A tar fire.
00:35:45Why they're not called an old flat iron?
00:35:49Because most of the irons were made in those days,
00:35:53the 1880s,
00:35:55by R and W Corrigan
00:35:59on City of Mallow, County Cork.
00:36:02Hence... I've got the phone number.
00:36:05Hence the word...
00:36:07Corrigan means an old-fashioned flat iron.
00:36:10Now, Ian, Ogilvy has a turn.
00:36:12Fairly swiftly.
00:36:14Right. Red Corrigan was, in fact,
00:36:16a cartoon character in the old days
00:36:18and he was a Canadian lumberjack
00:36:20and he wore a jacket over his tartan lumberjack shirt
00:36:23and it was made of heavy wool
00:36:25and because Corrigan was a famous character
00:36:27and very well known and much loved,
00:36:29the jacket became known as a corrigan.
00:36:31So a lumberjack wears a corrigan.
00:36:33Diane, it's now your turn.
00:36:35Corrigan. Lady Druid.
00:36:38Hates Christian priests.
00:36:41Descendant of legendary character.
00:36:44Half fairy, half witch.
00:36:46That is a corrigan.
00:36:48I'll stop you there. It's a lady druid,
00:36:50a half fairy, half witch,
00:36:52flat iron in Ireland
00:36:54and a jacket, lumberjack jackets.
00:36:57Frank, would your choice?
00:36:59Do you? Yes.
00:37:01Do you? Oh, Lord.
00:37:05Fairly swiftly now, Frank, if you will.
00:37:07How swift? Do you mean sort of a mini...?
00:37:09Swift-ish. Swift-ish.
00:37:11You're wasting time, lad.
00:37:13It's not a flat iron, not a shirt, it's a lady druid.
00:37:15Lady druid, Diane? Not Christian.
00:37:17Diane, you said it, wasn't it?
00:37:19No, she's looking happy.
00:37:21Buzzer!
00:37:23That was pure blind luck on our part.
00:37:27Corrigan, Edward Westcott.
00:37:29Yes.
00:37:30A corrigan is a lady druid.
00:37:32And isn't it nice that we've got no more time for any more words.
00:37:36So, both sides win,
00:37:38and I'm sure you'd want to clap hands for both Frank and Patrick.
00:37:50No, we'll have some more seconds
00:37:53from the Oxford English Dictionary next week.
00:37:56Till then, goodbye from Tim Rice...
00:37:59APPLAUSE
00:38:01..Ian Ogilvie...
00:38:03APPLAUSE
00:38:05..Mary Hughes...
00:38:07APPLAUSE
00:38:09..Dan Keane...
00:38:11APPLAUSE
00:38:13..Patrick Campbell...
00:38:15APPLAUSE
00:38:17And goodbye.
00:38:23APPLAUSE
00:38:49Hello again.
00:38:51The last in the present series,
00:38:53but still featuring the laird of Kilcock Robin,
00:38:56Patrick Campbell.
00:38:58Well done. You've worked your way up.
00:39:03Just in time, back to my rescue.
00:39:06An unaccountable draw last week.
00:39:09Lucky.
00:39:11Anyway, sharper than ever...
00:39:15..I have Diane Keane.
00:39:17APPLAUSE
00:39:21And on my other side, with his halo slightly bent by last week,
00:39:26the Saint Ian Ogilvie.
00:39:28APPLAUSE
00:39:34And saved once again for the nation, Frank Muir.
00:39:37APPLAUSE
00:39:39Muir. Good evening.
00:39:43Once again, I have the same joint winners as last week.
00:39:47And on my right, I have the delightful Nerys Hughes.
00:39:50APPLAUSE
00:39:55And on my left, of course, the...
00:39:57Something or other, Tim Rice.
00:39:59APPLAUSE
00:40:04You just meant it kindly, meant it kindly.
00:40:07Now, here we go. Off we go again.
00:40:09There's a... It looks as though it's spelled backwards, doesn't it?
00:40:12Opodeldoch is our first word.
00:40:14Anyway, Patrick's going to grapple with this one.
00:40:17Three different definitions.
00:40:19Three definitions are going to be false ones.
00:40:21One is true, and that's the one that Frank and his team
00:40:24tried to sort out.
00:40:25So, what about Opodeldoch, Patrick?
00:40:28That's exactly how it's pronounced, Opodeldoch.
00:40:31It's a Persian word, of course.
00:40:34Medieval Persian.
00:40:36Even earlier, perhaps.
00:40:38Because it was brought back to England by...
00:40:42..Elizabethan travellers.
00:40:44If they'd stayed in Persia...
00:40:47..they got into all kinds of Opodeldochs.
00:40:52Because in Persian, it means a stalemate in chess.
00:40:58But the Elizabethan travellers fell so deeply in love with the word
00:41:02they brought it back to England.
00:41:04And it turned into being in a state of frustration,
00:41:08a kind of ongoing non-fulfilment situation.
00:41:12LAUGHTER
00:41:15You wretch, Patrick, you wretch.
00:41:17Ian Ogilvie.
00:41:19Opodeldoch is, in fact, an adjective
00:41:23used by very clever archaeologists.
00:41:26And what it means... This is very complicated.
00:41:28What it actually means is it is of pertaining to prehistoric
00:41:34or extinct Polynesian cultures.
00:41:38And if you want to hear more...
00:41:40Well, you're going to get it anyway.
00:41:44It's... You know those stone heads on Easter Island?
00:41:48No.
00:41:52This could go on for quite a long time.
00:41:54There are, on Easter Island, huge monolithic stone heads.
00:41:59And these are recognised by archaeologists to be Opodeldoch.
00:42:06Well done. Right enough.
00:42:08Now, Diane Keane tells you.
00:42:11Opodeldoch.
00:42:15That's a change, isn't it?
00:42:19Soap. Soup?
00:42:21Soap, camphor oil and rosemary mixed together
00:42:26to form a primitive first-aid plaster
00:42:30that one would put on to a gaping wound.
00:42:33In some areas, though,
00:42:35they did recommend that you added oil of earthworms,
00:42:38which apparently was very good.
00:42:40Only in some areas.
00:42:42But Opodeldoch is a primitive...
00:42:46..primitive first-aid plaster.
00:42:51It's the archaeology of Polynesia, long gone.
00:42:55It's a plasty put on something,
00:42:57but it's not a terribly sophisticated one.
00:43:00And it's a condition of stalemate.
00:43:02Frank?
00:43:04Yes, Robert? Are you there?
00:43:09Yes, perhaps. Yes, I am.
00:43:12I sense from the word that it's none of these,
00:43:17but let's not be happy.
00:43:21Paddy, did Elizabethan travellers go to Persia?
00:43:26Yes, I suppose they did, didn't they?
00:43:28They went everywhere, didn't they?
00:43:30That's so awful, a chess word.
00:43:33It doesn't sound very Persian, does it?
00:43:35Does it sound Persian? No, no.
00:43:38And this polytechnic thing of Easter eggs and the islands,
00:43:43all cultures which grew...
00:43:46Did I get it right? Not at all.
00:43:49So, I think, and I say this totally without confidence,
00:43:54that it's the soap.
00:43:56You think it's that mixture that wasn't exactly the soap,
00:43:59but you put on things.
00:44:01Diane, you said all that, didn't you?
00:44:03Now she has to own up. Oh, dear.
00:44:05Sorry, you were right.
00:44:07APPLAUSE
00:44:09It's apologising to him, hasn't it?
00:44:14It's a lovely feeling, isn't it?
00:44:16It was indeed an early kind of plaster
00:44:18that you were well advised to put on a wound if you had one.
00:44:21Janny is the next word. Frank Muir will define janny.
00:44:25Very simple, this.
00:44:27It's an old Glaswegian vernacular word for tram car.
00:44:32The janny.
00:44:34In fact, there is, except nobody sings it any more,
00:44:37an Edwardian sort of musical song about it.
00:44:40Ah. Ah.
00:44:42I don't know the tune, so I can't sing it.
00:44:44Oh, what a pity.
00:44:46If you want to accept that this is not the tune...
00:44:49Give it a go. ..you'd probably go...
00:44:51HE SINGS IN GLASWEGIAN
00:44:57Did I hear a boo?
00:45:00The LP will be available for BBC record.
00:45:04That's what Frank says it is.
00:45:07So, Tim, your go.
00:45:09Come with me now to Newfoundland.
00:45:12Yep.
00:45:14If you cross the Atlantic to that well-known ex-colony,
00:45:17they have some strange Christmas customs there.
00:45:20One of them is that of a young Newfoundlander
00:45:23going around in heavy disguise, he can be a man or boy,
00:45:27but in great disguise playing pranks on other Newfoundlandese
00:45:31or Newfoundlandishes or Canadians, whatever.
00:45:34So, really, it's quite simply a chap who at Christmas in Newfoundland
00:45:39goes around playing a certain kind of practical joke
00:45:42in heavy disguise on his colleagues.
00:45:45That's a janny. Mm-hm.
00:45:47And now, Nerys, it's your go.
00:45:50A janny is an extra sail
00:45:54which teaclippers...
00:45:56I don't know much about sailing, actually,
00:45:58so I'm going to say this rather carefully.
00:46:00..teaclippers use to get the last ounce of wind
00:46:03and it's situated just below the bowsprit.
00:46:07Do you pronounce it like that?
00:46:09And people who've been sailing for a long time
00:46:13call them dolphin bashers or dolphin strikers.
00:46:16Mm-hm.
00:46:18So, it's Glaswegian for tram car.
00:46:20Kind of a sail on a ship
00:46:23and it's a Newfoundland...
00:46:25Newfoundland, I should say, joke.
00:46:27A joker. The man who made the pipe.
00:46:30You did well to rebuke me there, Patrick.
00:46:32Joker.
00:46:34Er...
00:46:38No boat that I've ever seen in my entire life
00:46:40ever had a sail underneath its bowsprit.
00:46:42I didn't know what you were talking about from the beginning there
00:46:45when you started to open your mouth.
00:46:47I said I told you.
00:46:49Sorry, Patrick.
00:46:52Where was I? Yes.
00:46:54This Newfoundland dish, I thought you said.
00:46:58Newfoundland dish in drag.
00:47:01Playing pranks.
00:47:03That's most important.
00:47:05We get so tired of Glaswegian jokes
00:47:08and Glaswegian songs, it couldn't be...
00:47:11I could sing it again if it would help.
00:47:15It's a Newfoundland dish.
00:47:17The joker.
00:47:19Yes, it was Timothy who said it.
00:47:21Tour Bluff.
00:47:23Oh!
00:47:32So, that's what it is.
00:47:34One all at the moment.
00:47:36And Adlin's is the next one.
00:47:38And I think it's Ian Ogilvie to have a whack at it.
00:47:41Not Adlin's, Abelin's.
00:47:43Abelin's.
00:47:46To sleep.
00:47:48Abelin's to dream.
00:47:51That's what it means.
00:47:53It is an old rural adverb
00:47:55which means perhaps, maybe, perchance.
00:47:59Abelin's, it's because I'm a Londoner.
00:48:03Abelin's, you'll believe this.
00:48:05Abelin's, you won't.
00:48:07Abelin's, it's an adverb meaning perhaps.
00:48:10Right. Diane Keane now tells you a thing.
00:48:15Abelin's.
00:48:18Have you ever eaten a Cornish pasty
00:48:20and when you finish it, on the plate
00:48:22are all those little bits of flaky pastry
00:48:24which you lick your finger and you dip it in...
00:48:26Have you ever done that?
00:48:28Those are Abelin's
00:48:30because Abelin's is an old Cornish word
00:48:33meaning little bits of food.
00:48:38It's Cornish smithereens, they're called.
00:48:40That's Abelin's.
00:48:42Is she on about?
00:48:44Right. Patrick, your turn.
00:48:48Abelin's, as it is pronounced,
00:48:50is the way that a postman carries his bag.
00:48:55On his shoulder, he goes,
00:48:57Abelin's.
00:48:59If the protocol of the garter...
00:49:05Not the bit you wear on your leg, but the bit...
00:49:10Mine must be lost in the post, it hasn't arrived yet.
00:49:13If it was there, I'd wear it...
00:49:15Abelin's.
00:49:17At the Battle of Crecy,
00:49:20all the bowmen wear their equipers Abelin's.
00:49:25That's what it means, across the shoulder.
00:49:27And the chest?
00:49:29Extraordinary. Good.
00:49:31All right, it means wearing it obliquely,
00:49:34across your shoulder, as Patrick said.
00:49:37It means maybe, and it means bits of food left behind.
00:49:41Tim Rice, to have a choice.
00:49:45I can instantly dismiss the Cornish pastry.
00:49:49Unbelievable.
00:49:52It was just impossible.
00:49:55There again...
00:49:57No, I'm absolutely certain it wasn't that.
00:50:00We're down, therefore, to two runners,
00:50:03and Abelin's, as perhaps, is very tempting.
00:50:06Very tempting indeed.
00:50:08Especially when delivered so well.
00:50:10Despite that, the team and I have come to the conclusion
00:50:15that postmen and chaps at the Battle of Crecy,
00:50:18or postmen at the Battle of Crecy,
00:50:20would in fact wear their mailbags, or whatever it was, Abelin.
00:50:25I assume it's a French word, so I believe Patrick.
00:50:28Ah, you do, do you? Yes, it was Patrick.
00:50:30Were you teasing, Patrick, I wonder, or was it the truth after all?
00:50:34I was teasing with a hammer.
00:50:36APPLAUSE
00:50:42No, Abelin's, Abelin, nothing, nothing.
00:50:45Who gave the true definition of the word Abelin's, or Abelin's?
00:50:49It was you. So, it seems.
00:50:51APPLAUSE
00:50:54So, it means maybe, perhaps, it's possible, that kind of thing.
00:51:00Choiler's the next word, Tim Rice is going to define it.
00:51:04Come with me now to India.
00:51:07Again?
00:51:09To India, where the choiler is a room in the Indian nick, or cop shop.
00:51:15And it's a fairly crowded place at times,
00:51:19and there are often as many as 200 or 300 crunimals in...
00:51:24Criminals?
00:51:26Or criminals, as they're known, in the choiler at any one time.
00:51:30It's just a cooler for Indian convicts in the Indian police stations.
00:51:36Criminals? Yes.
00:51:38So, that's what it is, you say.
00:51:40Nerys Hughes?
00:51:42You pronounce this the same, choiler, but it is actually a bird.
00:51:47It's a clapper-billed bird, which you found in southern Africa.
00:51:52And, as you may expect, it's a wader,
00:51:54and it goes digging up little crabs and things like that on the beach,
00:51:58and it makes a funny little noise when it digs them up and eats them,
00:52:01it goes...
00:52:03What?
00:52:05It's a little difficult to reproduce, because I haven't got a beak, Paddy,
00:52:09but it sort of makes a clapping noise with its beak.
00:52:12Oh, I see, I see.
00:52:14I've got a note of all that. I think it's Frank Muir's turn now.
00:52:18Observe.
00:52:21I take up an ordinary dinner knife,
00:52:24I hold it by the handle,
00:52:26and you will observe the blade, ordinary blade.
00:52:30Now, at the bottom, just as it goes into the handle,
00:52:33there's a curve.
00:52:35Now, in the cutlery industry,
00:52:38that curve is called the choil.
00:52:42And to cut that curve, to smooth it out,
00:52:45you take a file called...
00:52:49..a choiler.
00:52:54It's a file for making that curved bit of a knife that Frank described.
00:52:59It's a big room in an Indian jail, and it's a wading bird.
00:53:04Ian Odleby has to choose.
00:53:07Yes, Indian room in a prison, just because it begins with CH,
00:53:11and a lot of Indian words begin with CH.
00:53:13I'm a little bit pushy, really, Tim, frankly.
00:53:18Then Frank's file.
00:53:20Pitiful, right?
00:53:22It really was a file.
00:53:25I mean, these things are cast.
00:53:27You don't have little men filing away on the backs of blades.
00:53:30These things are made in their millions.
00:53:33So we're left with Nerys's ridiculous bird.
00:53:36Yes.
00:53:37With a clapperbill.
00:53:39If it had a clapperbill,
00:53:41could it really pick up all these little oysters?
00:53:44Oh, yes, very easily.
00:53:45Oh, well, then it's yours, then, Ed.
00:53:47You've convinced me, it's your bird.
00:53:49That was Nerys, wasn't it?
00:53:51Well, to our bluff, my dear.
00:53:53No, nothing.
00:53:55APPLAUSE
00:53:58Who gave the true definition of choiler?
00:54:01Well...
00:54:03There it is.
00:54:05Oh, it wasn't, it's so away there.
00:54:07Let's see it, prove it.
00:54:09APPLAUSE
00:54:13That was unbelievable.
00:54:15He didn't say anything about little men doing it,
00:54:17he just said, you know, someone did it.
00:54:19I don't know, I don't know.
00:54:21I don't know, I don't know.
00:54:23I don't know.
00:54:25He just said it, you know, someone did it.
00:54:27There you are, to all...
00:54:29Oh, it's a jolly nice word, isn't it?
00:54:31Nabloclish, I suppose.
00:54:33Diane?
00:54:35Yes.
00:54:37Nabloclish.
00:54:39It's...
00:54:41a form of verbal shorthand
00:54:45which was invented by a reporter
00:54:47who worked on the Francisco,
00:54:49San Francisco examiner.
00:54:51His name was
00:54:53Nablocal.
00:54:55Nablocal.
00:54:57I can't quite say it, but it was something like that.
00:54:59Anyway, that's where the word comes from.
00:55:01And it's a form of shorthand
00:55:03and you get it by putting...
00:55:05You advance the consonants
00:55:07one letter.
00:55:09So that call my bluff, for instance,
00:55:11would be
00:55:13dams...
00:55:15camug.
00:55:17A fair description.
00:55:19LAUGHTER
00:55:21Rather a testing shorthand, that would be.
00:55:23Anyway, Patrick?
00:55:25I'm sure you'd be glad to hear that Nabloclish
00:55:27is an Irish dialect word.
00:55:29LAUGHTER
00:55:31At this very day, you can find
00:55:33a little bit of the wilds of Connemara
00:55:35and Galway in between the German
00:55:37and Japanese factories.
00:55:39You could be told,
00:55:41Oh, Nabloclish.
00:55:43It just means, don't bother me, leave it alone.
00:55:45Or the French would say,
00:55:47laissez faire.
00:55:49Nabloclish is
00:55:51Connemara.
00:55:53It doesn't matter.
00:55:55No bother.
00:55:57Ian Ogilvie's turn.
00:55:59Nabloclish is a Jewish word.
00:56:01It's a very highly refined
00:56:03vegetable oil
00:56:05which is used in certain religious ceremonies.
00:56:07And it's poured into a
00:56:09tabash,
00:56:11this very highly refined vegetable oil
00:56:13called Nabloclish, and it's anointed
00:56:15around the synagogue.
00:56:17Nabloclish.
00:56:19It would slip over, wouldn't it?
00:56:21LAUGHTER
00:56:23I think that's the point, Frank. Cheer everything up.
00:56:25It's holy oil of that sort.
00:56:27It's a kind of shorthand
00:56:29invented by this man, and it's Irish
00:56:31for leave it alone or don't bother.
00:56:33Nerys.
00:56:35Well, frankly, I thought
00:56:37that Paddy sounded Jewish-Irish
00:56:39anyway, the way he said it.
00:56:41I am.
00:56:43Oh, I don't know what to say to that, really.
00:56:45Um...
00:56:47Leave it alone.
00:56:49No, I don't think it's that.
00:56:51The vegetable oil, that sounds
00:56:53a bit unlikely too. No, I think
00:56:55that because
00:56:57Diane had difficulty describing it,
00:56:59she wanted to get it exactly right.
00:57:01I think it might be you.
00:57:03You think it might be she?
00:57:05Diane, you said it was some kind of shorthand
00:57:07invented by a blockhead or what was it,
00:57:09Nablochead or something.
00:57:11What you said, yes, one of those.
00:57:13Oh, it's Blachina.
00:57:15Oh!
00:57:17APPLAUSE
00:57:23It wasn't a shorthand of that sort.
00:57:25Who gave the true definition of Nabloclish?
00:57:27Here we are.
00:57:29The maestro.
00:57:31APPLAUSE
00:57:37We're all going round in Connemara
00:57:39saying things like that.
00:57:41Mumba is the next word
00:57:43and Nerys Hughes is going to tell us.
00:57:45Mumba
00:57:47is an African word
00:57:49that, you see,
00:57:51when the Bantu's
00:57:53want to go out somewhere,
00:57:55when the Bantu men want to go out somewhere,
00:57:57well, they always take their
00:57:59babies with them and they have
00:58:01an old age pensioner or somebody like
00:58:03that who looks after the babies
00:58:05because they always take all the family, the mother,
00:58:07the granny, the babies,
00:58:09however many there are,
00:58:11and so
00:58:13a Mumba
00:58:15is a sort of
00:58:17babysitter in Bantu.
00:58:19I thought they took them out
00:58:21when they...
00:58:23Sort of babysitter, right.
00:58:25Now it's Frank's turn.
00:58:27It's a Mumba sport.
00:58:29It's a Mumba.
00:58:31It's a Mumba.
00:58:33That's how you pronounce it, it's a Mumba.
00:58:35Were you to find yourself
00:58:37in the city of Melbourne...
00:58:39Oh, Australian accent.
00:58:41Oh, I see.
00:58:43The accents
00:58:45are only approximate on this programme.
00:58:47The best of times.
00:58:49Should you find yourself in Melbourne,
00:58:51Victoria, Australia,
00:58:53in the springtime, you'd find
00:58:55they have their own version
00:58:57of a kind of
00:58:59carnival come celebration.
00:59:01They're kind of their own
00:59:03Mardi Gras
00:59:05and you'd think they'd call their own version
00:59:07Mardi Gras, wouldn't you?
00:59:09But they don't, they call it
00:59:11a Mumba.
00:59:13Yes.
00:59:15Now, Tim Rice,
00:59:17have a go.
00:59:19Come with me now to Ceylon.
00:59:21I'm worn out.
00:59:23Excellent.
00:59:25To Ceylon.
00:59:27And in Ceylon, Mumba
00:59:29is an alloy, well it's an alloy wherever it is,
00:59:31but the actual name comes from
00:59:33Ceylon or Sri Lanka, as I believe it's now known.
00:59:35And it's an alloy,
00:59:37more or less zinc and copper,
00:59:39welded together as one.
00:59:41And it's used for making all the sort of things that you would
00:59:43use if you were
00:59:45in Ceylon, like bangles, bracelets,
00:59:47things to keep your stomach in,
00:59:49things to push your chest out,
00:59:51ornaments.
00:59:53Any more? I've got a whole list of things here.
00:59:55No, no, that's quite enough.
00:59:57Well, anyway, it's this festival in Melbourne.
00:59:59It's kind of an alloy,
01:00:01kind of a babysitter.
01:00:03Diane, your turn to choose.
01:00:05Yes.
01:00:07Yes, we haven't quite
01:00:09conferred on this one. No.
01:00:11No.
01:00:13Frank.
01:00:15Yes, dear. Spring in Melbourne.
01:00:17It's a lovely time of the year.
01:00:19Mardi Gras.
01:00:21It didn't,
01:00:23no, you see,
01:00:25I thought you said Mamba, you see.
01:00:27Well, it's my pronunciation.
01:00:29No, well, it just didn't sort of,
01:00:31I wasn't convinced. I didn't picture myself
01:00:33at Mardi Gras
01:00:35in Melbourne. Mamba.
01:00:37Good day.
01:00:41Making things to hold
01:00:43your stomach in in Ceylon,
01:00:45Tim.
01:00:47The mind boggles.
01:00:53Why not?
01:00:55I...
01:00:57Well, no, it didn't appeal
01:00:59to me enormously.
01:01:01Nerys.
01:01:03Bantu.
01:01:05I didn't quite understand, you see, why they need
01:01:07a babysitter when they take the baby
01:01:09with them. Oh, because if she starts
01:01:11crying and stuff like that.
01:01:13Ah, I see.
01:01:17Frank, I think I'll go for spring
01:01:19in Melbourne. Oh, good. Spring in Melbourne.
01:01:21Frank, you did say, didn't you? I was hoping you would.
01:01:23True or bluff?
01:01:25I said it was.
01:01:27APPLAUSE
01:01:35It's a festival in Melbourne, they don't call it
01:01:37a festival, they call it a Mumba.
01:01:39Penal. Penal.
01:01:41Unfair. I don't know. Patrick, your turn.
01:01:43Penal
01:01:45is a nickname, and still is to this day,
01:01:47for a freshman
01:01:49at most of the German...
01:01:52..Heidelberg,
01:01:54a university in Germany
01:01:56is bulging with penals.
01:01:58Because it's what comes from
01:02:00the old days, when every
01:02:02freshman, a little
01:02:04leather case for his pen.
01:02:06He put...
01:02:08After he'd written with his pen, on paper,
01:02:10he put it back into the case,
01:02:12it was a little lid,
01:02:14with the result that every freshman,
01:02:16it's dying out now, certainly,
01:02:18was called ein Penal.
01:02:21He was a pen man, with a little leather case on his pen.
01:02:24For his ballpoint.
01:02:26Pre-ballpoint.
01:02:28Right, so,
01:02:30Ian Ogilvie now.
01:02:32Tim.
01:02:34Come with me, if you will,
01:02:36to Warwickshire.
01:02:38And the other two can come along too, if they like.
01:02:40And I want you to imagine
01:02:42that you've got a table that's wobbling,
01:02:44or a window that's rattling,
01:02:46or any of those irritating things that
01:02:48won't stay put.
01:02:50And in Warwickshire,
01:02:52a Penal is a little
01:02:54wooden wedge, with which you
01:02:56stop windows rattling and tables wobbling.
01:02:58That's what a Penal is, it's a little wooden wedge.
01:03:00In Warwickshire.
01:03:04Let's find out from
01:03:06Diane Keane what she says.
01:03:08I want you all
01:03:10to come with me.
01:03:12Delighted.
01:03:14Back, down the centuries.
01:03:16Picture a young
01:03:18girl, shy,
01:03:20blushes a lot.
01:03:22Got it.
01:03:24The cure for this is Penal
01:03:26leaves, which is like
01:03:28a form, it's got large leaves,
01:03:30it's like a garden mint, but it has very large leaves,
01:03:32and you rub the face
01:03:34with the leaves, and it is
01:03:36supposed to stop you from blushing.
01:03:38Penal.
01:03:40So, it's a wedge in Warwickshire.
01:03:42It's something you rub your cheeks with if you do
01:03:44a lot of blushing, and it's something like mint,
01:03:46and it's a freshman in a German
01:03:48university. Frank's choice.
01:03:50Wait, is it?
01:03:52I thought it was yours, I wasn't
01:03:54listening.
01:03:56I was trying to think of feeble little jokes.
01:03:58We could do it all over again for you.
01:04:00Jolly at alarm a bit.
01:04:02What were they?
01:04:04It was the, ah, yes.
01:04:06Pencase rubbish, that's no good.
01:04:08Wooden wedges, they don't have
01:04:10wooden wedges. Warwickshire.
01:04:12Yes, I do too.
01:04:14And then there was mint that you rub on your face.
01:04:16The blusher stopper. That's rubbish.
01:04:18It's supposed to mean fennel, you see.
01:04:20We're supposed to confuse it with fennel. Yes, quite.
01:04:22So, it's either between
01:04:24the wooden wedge in Warwickshire
01:04:26or the
01:04:28pencase.
01:04:30Difficult. You think, you both
01:04:32say that, and I say the other.
01:04:34You're the captain.
01:04:36Shall we go down with all colours
01:04:38wet?
01:04:40In which case, I will choose
01:04:42Duss
01:04:44lad here with the pen
01:04:46holder. The leader. Yes, he
01:04:48spoke of the pen holder. Was he true
01:04:50this time, or was it a bluff?
01:04:52Well done.
01:04:58It's a pen holder.
01:05:00It's a pen holder. And we must
01:05:02swiftly get another one in. Who knows
01:05:04what's going to happen, because this is going to be the last one.
01:05:06Goke, Frank, rather swiftly,
01:05:08please. The difference between the verb
01:05:10to goke and to goggle is very, very
01:05:12subtle.
01:05:14To goggle is to
01:05:16widen
01:05:18the eyes with...
01:05:20as though
01:05:22you can't understand what's going on. You're absolutely
01:05:24amazed. And to goke
01:05:26is just to widen your eyes for any
01:05:28purpose, but not the same as
01:05:30widening it.
01:05:32Very nice, Frank. Tim, your turn.
01:05:34I've got a bit of a yarn.
01:05:36It's rope
01:05:38or yarn, but it's the middle bit of the rope
01:05:40is the goke, what goes through
01:05:42the middle, and sometimes it's different colours, so
01:05:44an expert goke
01:05:46observer could tell where the rope was made.
01:05:48What about you now,
01:05:50Denise? A goke is
01:05:52a sort of wheelbarrow that they use in the Hebrides,
01:05:54and they
01:05:56carry turves in it.
01:05:58And what happens...
01:06:00They carry
01:06:02what? Turves.
01:06:04Turves. Oh, good.
01:06:06And...
01:06:08Time's running on.
01:06:10Oh, yes, time's running on. And they've got
01:06:12extra high sides and fronts,
01:06:14so they can get a lot of turves in it.
01:06:16So, it's a sort of a wheelbarrow,
01:06:18it's
01:06:20the middle part of
01:06:22a rope, and I really
01:06:24can't remember what Frank Muir said.
01:06:26It's a...
01:06:28Oh, yeah, widening... Not a disillusionment.
01:06:30Thank you, Frank. I remember it only too well.
01:06:32Open the eyes now, Patrick.
01:06:34Do I have a quarter of an hour, sir?
01:06:36No, you must answer instantly.
01:06:38We don't have... We don't have ropes
01:06:40with the kind of things in the middle.
01:06:42Nobody opened it.
01:06:44It's just an opening of the eye.
01:06:46Opening of the eye, Frank.
01:06:48Oh!
01:06:50APPLAUSE
01:06:52APPLAUSE
01:06:58We don't know what we're going to see.
01:07:00Just before we all go home
01:07:02and don't come back again for a long time,
01:07:04let's see who had the true one.
01:07:06Let's see the true one.
01:07:08Oh, it was you!
01:07:10APPLAUSE
01:07:14Well, there you are.
01:07:16You couldn't hope, really, could we?
01:07:18I don't know what the team leaders feel,
01:07:20but I think it's great.
01:07:22And for all, yet again, for our last programme.
01:07:24Perhaps you'd like to applaud with both sides.
01:07:26Wouldn't that be nice?
01:07:28APPLAUSE
01:07:36All that effort,
01:07:38and they ended up exactly as they started.
01:07:40It is really rather pleasing.
01:07:42Well, the words with the broken springs
01:07:44are going to have to lie a while
01:07:46in the Oxford English Dictionary
01:07:48and the Oxford series.
01:07:50And so, for the time being,
01:07:52goodbye from Ian Ogilvie.
01:07:54APPLAUSE
01:07:56Tim Rice.
01:07:58Diane Keane.
01:08:02Mary Hughes.
01:08:04Patrick Campbell.
01:08:06Goodbye for now.
01:08:08Frank Hill.
01:08:10And goodbye.
01:08:12APPLAUSE
01:08:18Thank you.