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00:00:00So you want me to go in there with you?
00:00:30No. No, I told you I'd do this.
00:00:37So, I had a dream last night. Crazy stuff.
00:00:41You remember Mo?
00:00:43Yes.
00:00:44The first bartender at Whiskey Pete's back before we was working together?
00:00:46I just said yes.
00:00:47Well, she was running a taco hut.
00:00:52Taco hut?
00:00:53Yeah, man. Well, you know, she was managing it.
00:00:56And me and you, we was working it.
00:00:58Working it?
00:00:59Me and you.
00:01:00It was crazy busy.
00:01:02And we ran out of ground beef of all things.
00:01:05I don't think taco hut even uses ground beef.
00:01:10It's tacos. Tacos have beef.
00:01:12No, I think their ground beef is made out of, like, soybeans or something.
00:01:16Nobody makes tacos with soybeans.
00:01:18They do. They do.
00:01:19But they just don't want anyone to know it because then no one would want it.
00:01:23Whatever. Not the point, dude.
00:01:24The point is, we ran out of this ground beef-like substance.
00:01:28Everyone's panicking. They're flipping out.
00:01:30Nobody knew what to do.
00:01:31And you say, calm down. Don't freak out.
00:01:35And you go to the grocery store.
00:01:37And you come back with all this ground beef and a grill.
00:01:42And Mo starts to grill it.
00:01:44Grilling at the restaurant.
00:01:46I didn't say I made sense of the dream. I just said I dreamed it.
00:01:49But anyway, it just keeps getting busier and busier.
00:01:52Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.
00:02:02Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.
00:02:04Hickey, Hickey, Hickey.
00:02:06What's the point?
00:02:08The point?
00:02:11The point is, you got the beef.
00:02:17That's great.
00:02:19And here I was fearing that there was no real point.
00:02:22Have faith, partner.
00:02:24We're all out, man.
00:02:27What I meant was, even when things were at their worst, you kept calm.
00:02:31You kept grounded. You kept us from flying off the rails.
00:02:41Yeah.
00:02:43Where's it at?
00:02:47Hey man, you got a pen?
00:02:48Yeah, glove box.
00:02:50Hold on.
00:02:54You got something too. Here, I got this.
00:02:56Hold on.
00:02:58Okay, yeah, go.
00:03:02Hold on.
00:03:07Is that 5193?
00:03:095193.
00:03:11Okay, we can be there in two hours.
00:03:18So.
00:03:23You still have this.
00:03:43I didn't even know that was in there.
00:03:46Maybe.
00:03:47No.
00:03:48David, it's yours.
00:03:50Why'd you keep it?
00:03:51I didn't.
00:03:52Throw it away.
00:03:53Why?
00:03:54Because it's worthless.
00:03:56Nothing's for.
00:03:57Hey.
00:03:59Was that really necessary?
00:04:11It's time.
00:04:14Yeah, yeah.
00:04:16Long time coming.
00:04:19Alright, are you sure you don't want me to come in there with you?
00:04:21No, no, I'm gonna do this alone.
00:04:27I'll be right here if you need me.
00:04:34Alright.
00:04:37Okay.
00:04:45Don't worry, I got this.
00:05:06Okay.
00:05:36What's the matter?
00:06:06This must be the new guy.
00:06:12That was it.
00:06:14Would that be me or the place?
00:06:17Either one.
00:06:19This church has been here for 88 years.
00:06:22It's as beautiful as the day it was made.
00:06:25As for me, only God can take credit for that.
00:06:29So how's this gonna go down?
00:06:31The hardest part was walking through that door.
00:06:35So just make yourself at home.
00:06:38How many others are there?
00:06:40I like to keep the group small.
00:06:42You know, more personal, intimate.
00:06:45How long have you been doing these meetings?
00:06:48Wow, you ask a lot of questions.
00:06:51Are you a cop or something?
00:06:53Yeah, you're under arrest.
00:06:55You're under arrest.
00:06:57You ask a lot of questions.
00:06:59Are you a cop or something?
00:07:01Yeah, you're under arrest.
00:07:03You've got a sense of humor.
00:07:05That's a good thing to have around here.
00:07:08Look, I gotta go grab some stuff before the others show up,
00:07:12so I'll be right back.
00:07:14Need a hand?
00:07:16No, no, I'm fine.
00:07:23It's good to see you here.
00:07:26I came.
00:07:28Long time coming.
00:07:56Are you the first one here?
00:07:58You look a little nervous there, guy.
00:08:00He startled me, that's all.
00:08:02Startle you?
00:08:03Yeah.
00:08:06Who are you?
00:08:08I'm no one.
00:08:09No, he's Isaac, and I'm Natalie.
00:08:12Oh, you got a good one.
00:08:14What was that?
00:08:15I said you got a good girl there.
00:08:17Oh, yeah?
00:08:18Yeah.
00:08:19I can tell, I got an eye for these things.
00:08:22Why don't you keep your eye on your own business?
00:08:26I meant no disrespect.
00:08:28I'm taking it.
00:08:29All right, okay, tough guys.
00:08:30Relax, leave him alone.
00:08:46Hey, are you with me?
00:08:48Yeah, of course, baby.
00:08:49All right, good, because I need you.
00:08:51What's wrong?
00:08:53Nothing.
00:08:55You know him?
00:08:57Oh, no, no.
00:08:59You sure about that?
00:09:00Yes, I'm sure.
00:09:02You don't sound very sure.
00:09:05Look at you all jealous.
00:09:07Cute mom.
00:09:09No, it's just...
00:09:11You know how I get in places I'm not comfortable.
00:09:13I just get...
00:09:14Jealous?
00:09:15You know how I get.
00:09:17I'm still just...
00:09:20This place, I just, I still don't know.
00:09:22Listen, I know, but...
00:09:24I'm nervous enough without your baggage, okay?
00:09:26So...
00:09:32Natalie.
00:09:34Hey, Earl.
00:09:36Hi.
00:09:39I'm Isaac.
00:09:41Um...
00:09:43It's nice to meet you.
00:09:46All right, well, we're gonna sit.
00:09:49Sure.
00:09:56We're gonna start soon.
00:10:06Not a very punctual group, huh?
00:10:11Can I ask you something?
00:10:14Where does that lead?
00:10:18Are you checking your exits?
00:10:21Where?
00:10:23Down.
00:10:25It's a basement.
00:10:27For storage.
00:10:30Thank you.
00:10:32Hi, I brought coffee.
00:10:35Hey, everyone.
00:10:36There's not enough for everybody,
00:10:38so unfortunately you're gonna have to share
00:10:41half a cup for each of you.
00:10:43Great.
00:10:44Just in time.
00:10:47Thank you.
00:10:49Because everyone knows that Chad loves to share.
00:11:00I'm just gonna give it a few more minutes,
00:11:02and then we'll start.
00:11:10Yeah, boss.
00:11:12Yeah, I told you, he's got that dentist thing.
00:11:15You got any time now?
00:11:17Yeah.
00:11:18After that, we'll do that.
00:11:20Yeah.
00:11:46Crazy day.
00:11:52I said crazy day.
00:11:54Yeah, I suppose.
00:11:56It's crazy out there.
00:11:57Crazy people, crazy things.
00:11:59I was walking here.
00:12:00I like to walk.
00:12:01And this old guy was about a block back.
00:12:03He was screaming.
00:12:05He was like, I'm gonna kill you.
00:12:07I was like, I'm gonna kill you.
00:12:09I was like, I'm gonna kill you.
00:12:11I was like, I'm gonna kill you.
00:12:13And this old guy was about a block back.
00:12:15He was screaming.
00:12:16And I just suppose he's crazy and yelling at himself,
00:12:18so I keep walking.
00:12:20I get about another block down, take a left,
00:12:22and a few seconds later, I hear him yelling again.
00:12:24This time, he's right across the street from me,
00:12:26and he's yelling and he's shaking his fist at me.
00:12:28At this point, it's pretty obvious he's talking to me
00:12:30with only two people on the street.
00:12:32I get about another block down, take a left,
00:12:35and as soon as the street curves, I start running.
00:12:38Running so fast.
00:12:40Running in me, running in these high heels.
00:12:43So anyway, I duck into a coffee shop and I grab a latte.
00:12:47I was gonna grab one anyway, and a few minutes later,
00:12:50there he is, walking by.
00:12:52He's looking through the window.
00:12:53He doesn't see me, but I see him.
00:12:55So I waited for about 15 minutes so I wouldn't run into him.
00:12:58That's why I'm late.
00:12:59I'm just happy to be in here with some not-so-psycho people.
00:13:04Oh, wow, really?
00:13:07I forgot my latte.
00:13:09Oh.
00:13:11Awful.
00:13:12So what's your story?
00:13:14Hmm?
00:13:15What's your story?
00:13:16Why are you here?
00:13:19Free coffee.
00:13:24Who did you study?
00:13:25You had a girlfriend, jerk.
00:13:30You sure you want to do this?
00:13:31Mm-hmm.
00:13:32I'm fine.
00:13:35All right.
00:13:40Sweet.
00:13:44Okay.
00:13:46We all know why we're here.
00:13:48The only thing left to do, as my ex-wife once said,
00:13:51is to get to it.
00:13:54We're all here for the same purpose.
00:13:57We're all here to help each other to achieve that purpose.
00:14:01Now, for the sake of the newcomers in the room,
00:14:03there's no judgment here.
00:14:05This is a place for healing and forgiveness.
00:14:10All right.
00:14:11So why don't we pray?
00:14:15God, grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change,
00:14:20the courage to change the things I can,
00:14:23and the wisdom to know the difference.
00:14:26Amen.
00:14:32This is a first meeting for some, so, Charisse,
00:14:36would you mind going over the steps and telling us what they mean to you?
00:14:40Really?
00:14:41Why not?
00:14:42Okay.
00:14:43Yeah.
00:14:44Sure.
00:14:46Um, we've admitted that we are powerless against alcohol
00:14:51and that our lives have become unmanageable.
00:14:54I think that one's pretty obvious.
00:14:57Um.
00:15:00Step two, we must believe that there's a power greater than ourselves
00:15:04that can restore us to sanity.
00:15:07For me, it's God I am.
00:15:09I have to believe that he's with me in this battle.
00:15:13We must make the decision to turn our will and our lives over to the care of God.
00:15:18You're using the word we a lot.
00:15:20Why don't you tell us what these words mean to you?
00:15:23Right.
00:15:24Sorry.
00:15:25Um, me.
00:15:27I must make a searching and fearless moral inventory of myself.
00:15:36This is hard.
00:15:39Me.
00:15:41I must admit to God and to myself
00:15:45and to others the exact nature of my wrongs.
00:15:49With God it was easy,
00:15:51but it's hard for me to come to these meetings and talk about my mistakes.
00:15:58I must make a list of all the people that I've harmed,
00:16:03and I must be willing to make amends with them.
00:16:07I suppose my list is longer than most,
00:16:13but shorter than some.
00:16:17When I have a spiritual awakening as a result of these steps,
00:16:21I will try to carry this message to others,
00:16:26and I will practice these principles in all of my affairs.
00:16:30Somebody's been studying their book.
00:16:33That was pretty much verbatim.
00:16:35So?
00:16:36Nothing.
00:16:37I was just saying.
00:16:39All right, ladies, come on.
00:16:41Remember, there's no judgment here.
00:16:43We're just here to listen.
00:16:49My name is Earl, and I'm an alcoholic.
00:16:53Hi, Earl.
00:16:55I've been sober now for ten years.
00:16:59Ten years ago, I made a terrible choice,
00:17:05a choice that changed the course of my life,
00:17:08and the lives of others.
00:17:10And like every other addict eventually does,
00:17:13I self-destructed.
00:17:16And just like many other addicts,
00:17:18my downward spiral didn't just affect me.
00:17:22We cannot change the mistakes of our lives.
00:17:27We can't correct them.
00:17:29But if we allow God into our lives,
00:17:32we can expand our lives.
00:17:35If we allow God into our lives,
00:17:38we can experience the forgiveness that we need
00:17:42and move on.
00:17:44That same desire that drives us to drink and abuse drugs
00:17:48is the exact desire for wholeness.
00:17:51And that desire can be filled through a relationship with God.
00:17:58That's what I'm doing here.
00:18:00I'm hoping that by sharing my story
00:18:02and by listening to all of yours,
00:18:04we can continue on the path that I've started.
00:18:07You see, had I not hit rock bottom,
00:18:11I never would have found the courage to look up
00:18:14and ask God for help,
00:18:16ask God for His hand and His forgiveness.
00:18:22And you know something?
00:18:25He did forgive me.
00:18:28And then He sent me on the right path.
00:18:32I mean, there I was,
00:18:34rotting away for three long years in a jail cell.
00:18:38Turns out my new cellmate's name was Warden.
00:18:41Now, obviously, the irony of that name didn't escape me.
00:18:46Warden, he was serving his 30th year
00:18:49of a three-life term sentence.
00:18:52He said that when he was on the outside,
00:18:55he owned a business, all right,
00:18:57and he shared it with his teenage son.
00:18:59Now, the plan was that his son, when he turned 18,
00:19:02he was going to take over the business with him 50-50,
00:19:05and then as he got older,
00:19:07he would take over the business entirely.
00:19:09Well, his kid had other plans.
00:19:12Turns out his son fell in love with the joys of the theater,
00:19:16and he wanted to become an actor.
00:19:19So he packed up his bags
00:19:22and moved cross-country to pursue his life's dream
00:19:25of La La Land.
00:19:28Well, I told Warden, I said,
00:19:31that's too bad, right?
00:19:34He just looked at me, and he simply said,
00:19:38maybe.
00:19:41Okay, maybe.
00:19:44Then he tells me that he couldn't handle the business himself,
00:19:49right, so he had to hire a partner to work with him.
00:19:52Well, it turns out that this partner happened to be a con man.
00:19:56He took him for everything he had before he skipped town,
00:19:59along with Warden's wife.
00:20:01So obviously, I put this together.
00:20:04I said, well, so what happened?
00:20:06Did you kill him?
00:20:08Is that why you're here?
00:20:10And he says to me, yes.
00:20:13And I just thought, this is terrible.
00:20:15I said that to him.
00:20:17He just looked at me again, and he said, maybe.
00:20:21I mean, at this point, I had it with the maybes, all right?
00:20:24I even got upset with him.
00:20:25I said, what are you talking about?
00:20:27What do you mean maybe?
00:20:28There are no maybes about this.
00:20:30This is a horrible series of events in your life.
00:20:33And he says to me, look, my son went to Los Angeles,
00:20:37struggling to be an actor for 10 long years.
00:20:40Audition after audition, it never worked for him.
00:20:42His career didn't take off.
00:20:44He worked as a waiter, working himself through night school.
00:20:47At night school, he earned a diploma in computer science.
00:20:51He met a beautiful woman.
00:20:52He fell in love.
00:20:54And then he started his own computer company.
00:20:56He never told me what the name was,
00:20:58but he said I would definitely recognize it.
00:21:00Years go by.
00:21:02His son has kids of his own.
00:21:04His kids grow up.
00:21:05A few of those have kids of their own.
00:21:07Now, what Worden was trying to say to me,
00:21:09this is what he said.
00:21:11He said, every rotten thing that ever happened to me
00:21:14bore good fruit.
00:21:17All right.
00:21:18Now, I said to him, Worden, that doesn't make sense.
00:21:23I mean, that's all well and good for your son,
00:21:25but look at you.
00:21:26Look at your life.
00:21:27You're rotting away in here.
00:21:29You're watching your whole life disappear before your very eyes.
00:21:32And he says, no, no.
00:21:36I was rotting away out there.
00:21:39In here, I discovered my faith.
00:21:44I was never really free until I came in here.
00:21:53He was never really free until he came to prison.
00:22:02And then it hit me.
00:22:04Bam.
00:22:05Like that.
00:22:07Neither was I.
00:22:10But I sure as hell wanted to be.
00:22:13And all of a sudden, everything that I'd been hearing,
00:22:16everything that was being shoveled at me in those mandatory AA meetings,
00:22:21started to make sense to me.
00:22:23And it wasn't very long before I was on my knees,
00:22:26looking up and begging God to help me as well.
00:22:36Well, that's my story.
00:22:41And that's what's brought me here to all you fine folks.
00:22:51All right.
00:22:53Who wants to share next?
00:22:55Yeah, yeah, we're on our way shortly.
00:23:00I don't know what to tell you, boss.
00:23:01Maybe he's got a lot of cavities.
00:23:04No, no, I did not mean any disrespect.
00:23:07Can you send Freddie and Marvin?
00:23:10Maybe.
00:23:11God's will.
00:23:12God's will.
00:23:13Everybody always wants to implement God's will.
00:23:15What is God's will?
00:23:16What do you mean?
00:23:17I mean, at the end of the day,
00:23:20whether you have the nice house and the car and, you know,
00:23:24your own corporation, kids, all the fancy stuff,
00:23:28it looks good from the outside perspective.
00:23:30But does that mean it's really God's will?
00:23:33I won Miss Littleton when I was 17.
00:23:35Great, right?
00:23:37Well, it turns out not so much.
00:23:40It was doing my duty supporting the wind that I discovered whiskey.
00:23:47Pills.
00:23:49And coke.
00:23:51And here I am.
00:23:54That's right.
00:23:55Here you are.
00:23:57Everything that happened to you has led you to this time and place.
00:24:01This is exactly where you need to be.
00:24:08It's a matter of putting your faith, your trust in a higher power.
00:24:13Trusting that God has a purpose for you and those around you.
00:24:18Now, if you want to narrow that down to a practical perspective, that's fine.
00:24:21Be my guest.
00:24:23All I'm saying is that if you choose to look at things positively,
00:24:27you will start to see positive results.
00:24:30The choice is yours.
00:24:32Do you choose to live in a world of chaos
00:24:34or a world that is benevolent and full of meaning?
00:24:39For me, I choose faith.
00:24:43So it's that simple, then?
00:24:46No, it isn't that simple, actually.
00:24:49I wasn't talking to you.
00:24:52My name is Chad. I'm an alcoholic.
00:24:55Hi, Chad.
00:24:57I've been sober for three years now.
00:25:00You know, for me, I love...
00:25:04It's what I do best, drinking.
00:25:08It's my second nature, like breathing, for most people.
00:25:11And I drank so much.
00:25:14At a certain point three years ago, I walked into my doctor,
00:25:19and my doctor told me,
00:25:21basically, you're about to lose the one and only liver that you have.
00:25:25So, like any good alcoholic with this new information,
00:25:29I found my way to the closest bar,
00:25:32and I ordered my favorite drink.
00:25:34And right as that drink was about to touch my lips,
00:25:38I saw this man.
00:25:42He said a few words to me that changed my life.
00:25:47I put that drink down. I've been here ever since.
00:25:50He's a good man. Thank him.
00:25:55What a life. Saved your life, huh?
00:25:57What a life. What a life.
00:25:59What's that supposed to mean?
00:26:01Nothing. Nothing.
00:26:03You know what? Let's hear more about the almighty Earl.
00:26:07What's your problem?
00:26:08My problem is that you guys are all sitting around putting your faith
00:26:12in this man, in his God.
00:26:14Where'd you find this guy?
00:26:16You know you're not supposed to be here drunk, right?
00:26:18I'm just talking about the truth. Isn't that what we're here for, the truth?
00:26:21Didn't you read the sign on the door?
00:26:23Okay. Johnny, this is not how we do things here.
00:26:27You know, you probably aren't going to like the truth,
00:26:31but I'll tell it to you. You want to hear the truth?
00:26:33Right.
00:26:34You want to hear the truth?
00:26:35Yeah.
00:26:36I'm going to give you the truth.
00:26:37May I approach the bench, your honor?
00:26:40Thank you.
00:26:45Okay.
00:26:47The truth is that I've been sober for three years.
00:26:53I don't like it.
00:26:55I don't enjoy it.
00:26:57You think I enjoy coming to these rooms,
00:27:00listening to these steps,
00:27:02working a program, having a sponsor, all this crap?
00:27:06No. I don't enjoy it.
00:27:09Okay.
00:27:10What I enjoyed was I enjoyed being drunk.
00:27:14I like drinking.
00:27:16I love alcohol, and I love drugs.
00:27:20I liked being the guy that was stupid and irresponsible.
00:27:24That was what I liked.
00:27:26I enjoyed causing a scene, being a mess.
00:27:31But those days are over for me, okay?
00:27:34I can't do that anymore. I had to grow up.
00:27:38So I'm just here to tell you that it's not a joke, man.
00:27:43We're not here because we're having a good time.
00:27:45You think I enjoy this?
00:27:47You think I want to do this?
00:27:48No. I want to be that guy.
00:27:51I want to be the life of the party,
00:27:53to live in a fantasy world,
00:27:55to be reckless and careless
00:27:57and not do anything for anybody
00:27:59except for myself, being selfish.
00:28:01That's what it's about, man.
00:28:03That's fun.
00:28:04I don't want to be sitting in some stupid AA meeting.
00:28:06You think I want to be this reliable, steady guy
00:28:10that shows up everywhere he's supposed to,
00:28:12that keeps commitments?
00:28:14This isn't fun.
00:28:16I don't go out. I don't have a social life.
00:28:18I don't do anything.
00:28:19I sit alone, home, at board.
00:28:22That's what I do.
00:28:24My life sucks.
00:28:26But at the end of the day, man,
00:28:28I'm here because I got to save my life, all right?
00:28:31This is life and death.
00:28:33It's serious business.
00:28:34So maybe you can grow up
00:28:36and try and figure that out
00:28:38because this is as good as it's ever going to get.
00:28:41So appreciate it.
00:28:43And now you got the truth.
00:28:45Sit down, Chad.
00:28:46Leave him alone, Violetta.
00:28:49Oh.
00:28:51Oh, you're a little defensive.
00:28:54Is that your, uh...
00:28:56Is that your squeeze up there?
00:28:57Is that your fella?
00:28:59Hmm?
00:29:00Johnny.
00:29:01No?
00:29:02A little respect, please.
00:29:03We're on little, uh...
00:29:05meetings on the side.
00:29:07You want to back off, man?
00:29:09What's your deal?
00:29:10I want to know what's your deal.
00:29:13What's your deal?
00:29:14How come you're not sharing with the group?
00:29:17What, are you hiding something?
00:29:19Hmm?
00:29:20Are you hiding something, darling?
00:29:22Dude, leave her alone.
00:29:23How long are you going to let this go on for?
00:29:25I'm not exactly making it comfortable for everyone.
00:29:27What?
00:29:28What do you mean? What am I doing?
00:29:30I'm just telling the truth here.
00:29:32Isn't that what we're supposed to be doing?
00:29:33I'm just telling the truth.
00:29:34What's going on, honey?
00:29:36What are you afraid of?
00:29:38What are you afraid of?
00:29:40Johnny.
00:29:42Look, I know it can be overwhelming your first time.
00:29:45Oh, yes, yes, yes.
00:29:46No, no, no.
00:29:47I know the first time can be overwhelming.
00:29:50That's enough.
00:29:52Is it?
00:29:53Is that enough?
00:29:55Because, you know, I feel like...
00:29:57I feel like I'm just getting warmed up.
00:29:59I'm a ninja, Chad.
00:30:01How?
00:30:02Pull!
00:30:06Why did you do that?
00:30:09Is he dead?
00:30:12No, shut up and sit down.
00:30:16No one's going anywhere.
00:30:17Hey, don't you move!
00:30:22All right.
00:30:24All right.
00:30:25You, up.
00:30:26Grab him.
00:30:27Up.
00:30:28Grab him.
00:30:35Is it me, or do crazy people follow me everywhere?
00:30:39I'm conscious.
00:30:41I don't think he's bloating.
00:30:46I think he's unconscious.
00:30:51I think he's bloating.
00:30:56He's unconscious.
00:30:59I don't think he's bloating.
00:31:05He's unconscious.
00:31:06I don't think he's bloating.
00:31:11All right, back to your seats.
00:31:23Sit down, Earl.
00:31:24Sit down, Earl.
00:31:27Sit down, Earl!
00:31:35All right.
00:31:38Okay.
00:31:48Okay.
00:31:52I can't take this anymore.
00:31:54Sit down!
00:31:55Sit down!
00:31:56Sit down!
00:31:59Fine.
00:32:03Johnny!
00:32:04Whoa!
00:32:05Wait a minute, pal.
00:32:06Back out of here, Hickey.
00:32:07What's going on here, partner?
00:32:08Just back out.
00:32:09What are you doing?
00:32:10You don't want to get wrapped up in this.
00:32:12Wrapped up in what?
00:32:13I thought I was bringing you here to get better.
00:32:15Just go, Hic.
00:32:17Come on, man.
00:32:18You know I can't do that.
00:32:20Yes, you can.
00:32:22And take me with you.
00:32:24Shut up and sit down!
00:32:29Johnny, you know who that is?
00:32:32That guy?
00:32:35If you knew who that was,
00:32:37then you would know that I'm not done here.
00:32:40Johnny, put the gun down.
00:32:43It's not going to happen.
00:32:44Just back up.
00:32:46I know what you're going through.
00:32:48You don't.
00:32:49You don't know anything.
00:32:51Don't move!
00:32:52Listen to him.
00:32:53Don't move.
00:32:54I'm going to get you out of here, Johnny.
00:32:56You can't do this, pal.
00:32:59Come on!
00:33:00Come on!
00:33:01You know you're not that fast.
00:33:02Keep your hands up.
00:33:04I can't be here.
00:33:06Sit down!
00:33:07No, no, no.
00:33:08Don't, don't, don't.
00:33:10I just wanted to come to a meeting.
00:33:12Don't!
00:33:13Sit down!
00:33:14Don't!
00:33:15Okay?
00:33:16This conversation is over.
00:33:19All right?
00:33:20Just go.
00:33:21Just back out.
00:33:22Okay?
00:33:23I don't want to hurt anyone else.
00:33:24Who'd you hurt, Johnny?
00:33:26I'm your father.
00:33:27Talk to me.
00:33:28Just leave.
00:33:29Leave, Hic.
00:33:31Just back out, okay?
00:33:32I'm doing what I came here to do.
00:33:37I never judged you.
00:33:39What?
00:33:40When you came back from your little vacation.
00:33:43I paid my debt.
00:33:44When you came back?
00:33:45I became a cop.
00:33:47Right.
00:33:48You weren't always a cop.
00:33:49No, I wasn't.
00:33:53I never judged you.
00:33:57I know.
00:33:59I know.
00:34:00You had faith in me even when you didn't deserve it.
00:34:03You believed in me.
00:34:05And that's why I believed in myself.
00:34:08That's why I became a cop.
00:34:12But I'm not the same man I used to be, brother.
00:34:15Well, neither am I.
00:34:17Do not interrupt me again, brother.
00:34:22What are you going to do?
00:34:24I am going to do what I came here to do.
00:34:27I told you that already.
00:34:28I gave you a chance to leave.
00:34:29Just back out, Hickey.
00:34:30Back out.
00:34:31Johnny.
00:34:32You're not going to shoot me.
00:34:34Yeah, I'm not.
00:34:37Okay, Johnny.
00:34:38We can work this out.
00:34:39I'm on your side.
00:34:40Tell me what you need.
00:34:41Tell me what you want to see happen.
00:34:43I'll give it to you.
00:34:45Oh, no.
00:34:46No, no.
00:34:47Don't tell me.
00:34:48You're going to play negotiator with me right now?
00:34:51Johnny, I'm your friend.
00:34:53I want to help you.
00:34:55You want to help?
00:34:56Tell me what you need.
00:34:58I'll deliver.
00:35:00What I need is right here.
00:35:04Just go.
00:35:06Johnny.
00:35:07Just go.
00:35:08Just go, Hickey.
00:35:09Go.
00:35:13Okay, Johnny.
00:35:18Okay.
00:35:27Okay.
00:35:28Who wants to share?
00:35:32Hey, boss.
00:35:33We've got a situation here.
00:35:34Yeah.
00:35:53We should share.
00:35:57Who wants to share?
00:36:02Come on.
00:36:03It's an AA meeting, right?
00:36:05Share.
00:36:06We should work the steps.
00:36:08It works if you work it, right?
00:36:11It works if you work it.
00:36:15No one?
00:36:16No one wants to?
00:36:19Okay.
00:36:20I'll just...
00:36:21No, step one.
00:36:22We've admitted we're powerless against alcohol,
00:36:24and we've become unmanageable.
00:36:27That's very good.
00:36:29Very good.
00:36:31Our lives have become...
00:36:34Our lives have become unmanageable.
00:36:40Okay, step two.
00:36:43Step two.
00:36:47No one?
00:36:49It's like pulling teeth.
00:36:50All right, if I have to do this every time...
00:36:52Step two!
00:36:53A power greater than ourselves can restore us to sanity.
00:36:56Say it again!
00:36:58We believe that a power greater than ourselves can restore us to sanity.
00:37:03I can't hear you!
00:37:05Say it again!
00:37:07We believe that a power greater than ourselves can restore us to sanity.
00:37:12Sanity.
00:37:14Sanity.
00:37:17A power greater than ourselves.
00:37:19Well, today, that would be me.
00:37:24Put a thunk it.
00:37:26Greater power.
00:37:30Tell you what.
00:37:31Here's how it's gonna go.
00:37:32I'm gonna share.
00:37:34I'm gonna go ahead and share,
00:37:36and then...
00:37:38someone else can share later.
00:37:41What if we have nothing to say?
00:37:43What?
00:37:45What if we have nothing to say?
00:37:49Oh, everyone's got something to say, sweetheart.
00:37:51Everyone's got something to say.
00:37:54Everyone's got...
00:37:56skeletons locked deep in their closet.
00:38:01Don't they, Earl?
00:38:08My name is Johnny St. James, and I'm an alcoholic.
00:38:14Oh, come on, people!
00:38:16I'm Johnny, I'm an alcoholic!
00:38:18Hi, Johnny.
00:38:19Hi, Johnny.
00:38:20Hi, Johnny.
00:38:21Thank you!
00:38:23Play by the rules here.
00:38:26Oh, let's see.
00:38:28I drank this morning.
00:38:30So, um...
00:38:32So, I guess I got zero days.
00:38:36I got zero days sober.
00:38:40But that might change. Who knows? Anything can happen.
00:38:45Up until ten years ago, I was never much of a drinker.
00:38:51You know, I'd have wine with dinner.
00:38:55Champagne at a wedding, that kind of thing.
00:38:59But no, I take that back, because I like beer.
00:39:01I really like beer.
00:39:03I used to brew my own beer.
00:39:06It was fun.
00:39:08But I was more into the chemistry of it.
00:39:13Science.
00:39:16My wife used to say that I was crazy.
00:39:20And that's why she loved me.
00:39:32She loved me.
00:39:38But then, ten years ago...
00:39:41Well, that all changed.
00:39:44So, I started drinking heavy.
00:39:47Hard stuff.
00:39:49Every day.
00:39:50All day.
00:39:54Yeah, I was really going for it.
00:39:59But I was able to maintain.
00:40:03I was able to get up every day and do what I had to do.
00:40:10I even started a new career.
00:40:12I started a noble career.
00:40:14As a cop.
00:40:17But you really are a cop.
00:40:21Yeah.
00:40:23I don't think you're supposed to be asking questions.
00:40:25You're not supposed to ask questions, right?
00:40:28I thought...
00:40:29You know what?
00:40:34That's fine.
00:40:35It's fine.
00:40:36We're kind of off book here anyway.
00:40:39Oh, man.
00:40:40I lost my train of thought.
00:40:42Someone else has to go.
00:40:44You want to share, honey?
00:40:46Who wants to share?
00:40:47Someone else has to share now.
00:40:49Someone else's turn.
00:40:52Okay.
00:40:53I think I'd like to hear from...
00:40:58Another jacket over here.
00:41:00I'll say...
00:41:01Shut up.
00:41:02What's your name?
00:41:03Shut up.
00:41:04Shut up!
00:41:05I want to hear from my wife.
00:41:06Shut up!
00:41:07I want to hear from another jacket.
00:41:09I have something I'd like to...
00:41:10Shut up!
00:41:12What's your name?
00:41:13My name is Isaac and I...
00:41:14Oh, my.
00:41:15Wow.
00:41:16You...
00:41:17You have got moxie, man.
00:41:21Go ahead.
00:41:22Do it again.
00:41:23Start from the top.
00:41:25No.
00:41:26Do the whole thing again.
00:41:27My name is Isaac.
00:41:29My name is Isaac.
00:41:30Hi, Isaac.
00:41:33Okay.
00:41:34Go.
00:41:35I...
00:41:37I guess I hit rock bottom a few months ago.
00:41:43You're going to lead with rock bottom?
00:41:46I'm sorry.
00:41:47Go on.
00:41:48I've continued to work.
00:41:52You know, I'm a graphic designer.
00:41:54I do freelance work.
00:41:56Okay.
00:41:57Go on.
00:41:58Go on.
00:41:59I just got into web design.
00:42:02Yeah.
00:42:03Boring!
00:42:05Excuse me?
00:42:06Buddy, you are boring me to tears here, man.
00:42:09What is it that you want?
00:42:10Tell me the truth.
00:42:12I'm sorry.
00:42:13I'm trying to tell you how I got here.
00:42:15Graphic?
00:42:16Graphic designer, yeah.
00:42:17You know, alcohol is something I go to.
00:42:21When was the last time you had a drink?
00:42:22I've been coming to meetings.
00:42:24When was the last time you had a drink?
00:42:25Six months ago.
00:42:26That's the truth?
00:42:27Yeah.
00:42:28How much do you weigh?
00:42:30175 pounds.
00:42:32What was your drink?
00:42:33What was your favorite?
00:42:36Whiskey.
00:42:37Whiskey?
00:42:38Yeah.
00:42:39Would you like bourbon?
00:42:40You like scotch?
00:42:41You like the Irish?
00:42:42What would you like?
00:42:43Bourbon.
00:42:44Bourbon.
00:42:45Bourbon.
00:42:46The sweetest of the browns.
00:42:49But I'm sober now.
00:42:50You're sober now?
00:42:51Yes.
00:42:52Okay.
00:42:53Feeling good?
00:42:54Yes.
00:42:55Life's better?
00:42:56Yeah, I think so.
00:42:57And you're getting right with God, are you?
00:43:00God?
00:43:01Yeah.
00:43:02You believe in God?
00:43:03Yeah, I guess.
00:43:04You guess so.
00:43:05You guess.
00:43:06I mean, yes.
00:43:07The guess is so.
00:43:08Yes.
00:43:09You guess so?
00:43:10Yes, I believe in God.
00:43:11Let me hear you say it.
00:43:12I believe in God.
00:43:13Say it again.
00:43:14I believe in God.
00:43:15You gotta mean it.
00:43:16I believe in God.
00:43:17You gotta mean it, man.
00:43:18I believe in God.
00:43:24I'm not buying it, man.
00:43:26I believe in God.
00:43:29No, you don't, man.
00:43:31I don't think you do at all.
00:43:33I don't think anything you've told me is true.
00:43:35I'm telling you the truth.
00:43:36Are you an alcoholic?
00:43:37I am sober now, but yes, I'm an alcoholic.
00:43:40You're not an alcoholic.
00:43:41I am an alcoholic.
00:43:42You're not an alcoholic.
00:43:43You're leading him.
00:43:44That's not how this works.
00:43:45Hey, hey, hey.
00:43:47New rules today.
00:43:49The rules are the guy with the gun makes the rules.
00:43:52You got a gun?
00:43:53No.
00:43:54Shut up.
00:43:55Cupcake.
00:43:58What is it that you want?
00:43:59What do you want me to say?
00:44:00What do you want to know?
00:44:01I'm a cop.
00:44:02I can sniff this out.
00:44:03I know when you're lying to me, man.
00:44:04Just give me some truth.
00:44:05About?
00:44:06Give me some truth.
00:44:07I'm telling you the truth.
00:44:08I'm telling you.
00:44:09Johnny, Johnny.
00:44:10That's enough, man.
00:44:12Well, look who found his voice.
00:44:15All right, look.
00:44:16We both know why you're here, so stop.
00:44:18Just stop this.
00:44:19No, no, no, no, no.
00:44:21It's not your turn.
00:44:24It's not your turn.
00:44:28Not yet.
00:44:34All right, all right, Johnny.
00:44:36Okay.
00:44:37It's not your turn, Earl.
00:44:38All right, Johnny.
00:44:39It's not your turn, Earl.
00:44:40Okay, all right, okay.
00:44:41All right, sit down.
00:44:42Stop.
00:44:44Oh.
00:44:47Oh.
00:44:51Yeah?
00:44:52Hey, man, we can still spin this.
00:44:54I mean, nobody's dead yet, right?
00:44:56Not yet.
00:44:57This is you, Johnny.
00:44:58Isn't it?
00:44:59No, you're the good one, the grounded one.
00:45:00I'm the screw-up, not you.
00:45:02Yeah, I was ever good at nothing except breaking heads and taking names.
00:45:05So I became a cop.
00:45:07But you, you're a man of God.
00:45:10Why don't you go to seminary?
00:45:11What happened to you was horrible.
00:45:13And I know you think it changed you, but it didn't.
00:45:15You're still a good man.
00:45:17Well, I know different, Nicky.
00:45:18What made you want to go to seminary?
00:45:22I wanted to help people find the way.
00:45:24And when you couldn't do that anymore, what happened?
00:45:27I became a cop.
00:45:29To help people, right?
00:45:31No, no, you know, I see what you're doing, but no, no, okay?
00:45:34Well, then why'd you become a cop?
00:45:37You know, Nicky, this has become tiresome.
00:45:40I don't like this.
00:45:43Okay.
00:45:45Who's next?
00:45:48How about you?
00:45:50I, uh, I, uh, I...
00:45:55I'm really worried about Chad.
00:45:58Chad?
00:46:00Why are you worried about Chad?
00:46:03I'm worried about Chad.
00:46:06Took him long enough.
00:46:1538, 361, 361, 361, 361, 361.
00:46:20That would be a good time to let us sleep.
00:46:23Not quite yet.
00:46:27That would be a good time to let us sleep.
00:46:30Not quite yet.
00:46:45All right, everyone remain calm.
00:46:47What's going on?
00:46:49Cops cut the power.
00:46:52Well...
00:46:56Guess we should just get down to business.
00:47:00Johnny.
00:47:02Gunshot.
00:47:04Go, go!
00:47:08Don't move.
00:47:14Don't you move.
00:47:16I just want to go.
00:47:18I just want to go.
00:47:20Sit down.
00:47:22Sit down.
00:47:27Sit down or so help me, I will shoot you right now.
00:47:35I'm gonna get real dramatic here.
00:47:37I just want to leave.
00:47:39I'm gonna count to three.
00:47:43One.
00:47:46Two.
00:47:48If I let him sit down.
00:47:50Right now.
00:48:12It's fine.
00:48:15Oops.
00:48:20Yeah?
00:48:21Time's running out, partner.
00:48:23How long you think it'll be before Swatton makes that move?
00:48:26I'm sorry.
00:48:27Don't be sorry. Just come out here.
00:48:40You're on speaker.
00:48:44You're on speaker.
00:48:54God help us.
00:49:06Anybody else want a coffee?
00:49:09I can use one.
00:49:25Thank you.
00:49:27Better taste it first.
00:49:34Right?
00:49:36Right?
00:49:38It's pretty bad.
00:49:42I used to work in a coffee house.
00:49:45Oh, yeah?
00:49:47That's where I met Julie.
00:49:57Is that your wife?
00:50:00I was a barista and an assistant manager.
00:50:07It was kind of a crappy job.
00:50:09You know, you don't make a lot of money.
00:50:11There's no benefits.
00:50:13But what was cool is there was entertainment every night.
00:50:17So you might see comics, open mics, music.
00:50:24I was working a night shift in June.
00:50:29Late afternoon, early evening.
00:50:31The sun was kind of coming down.
00:50:33And I see this image in the door.
00:50:37Kind of in silhouette.
00:50:42And she's walking toward me.
00:50:46And I thought she was just the most beautiful thing I'd ever seen.
00:50:51She gave me a little smile and she kept on going by and over to the stage.
00:50:55And it turns out she was going to play that night.
00:50:58She was in a jazz quartet.
00:51:02And I remember watching her play piano.
00:51:06And I said, that's it. I'm done.
00:51:08You know, game over.
00:51:10This is the girl for me.
00:51:14She was a really good piano player.
00:51:20I bet she was.
00:51:25Everything's going to be okay.
00:51:28We should probably go sit down.
00:51:40Okay, where were we?
00:51:52How does this end?
00:51:55Ready to share?
00:51:56No.
00:51:59I'll go.
00:52:02Violetta, why don't you go?
00:52:04No, no, no. Hey, Earl.
00:52:06I'm running this meeting.
00:52:09How about it, Natalie?
00:52:13Hi, I'm Natalie.
00:52:14Hi, Natalie.
00:52:17You know, alcoholism took my whole family from me.
00:52:21It didn't happen gradual, like how it does for most people.
00:52:29One day my dad was here and then the next he was gone.
00:52:34My mom stayed strong, but she eventually just went right down the road with him.
00:52:42And I thought they were weak.
00:52:47So I hated him for it.
00:52:51You pretty much followed their footsteps.
00:52:55Yeah, something like that.
00:52:59I'm hungry.
00:53:02And I need to pee.
00:53:04Sucks to be you.
00:53:06You're going to have to let us go sometime or it's going to get real funky up in here.
00:53:10You know, after that little rabbit stunt you pulled, you'll be lucky if you ever see a bathroom again, alright?
00:53:16You know what? I'm sick of you.
00:53:18And I haven't had a drink in three years.
00:53:20And I really want a drink right now.
00:53:23That's interesting.
00:53:25That's interesting. There's a little truth right there.
00:53:27There's a little truth right there.
00:53:29Three years without a drink.
00:53:31Three years without a drink working with Earl.
00:53:35And now you want one.
00:53:37Now you want a relapse.
00:53:39It's funny. Earl always says it's so easy.
00:53:42No one said it was easy.
00:53:44No one said it was easy.
00:53:47Sobriety is not an end.
00:53:51So what is the end?
00:53:54That's for God to decide.
00:53:58No.
00:54:00No!
00:54:01Johnny?
00:54:06It's not your turn.
00:54:10It's not your turn.
00:54:12It's not time yet.
00:54:18What are you doing here, Earl?
00:54:20You're here to help people, right?
00:54:22No.
00:54:23No?
00:54:25Well, if you're not trying to help people, then what are you doing?
00:54:30Helping people is also a means.
00:54:33So what is the end?
00:54:35Bringing people to the same love and forgiveness that was offered to me.
00:54:42No.
00:54:43There's no forgiveness for you.
00:54:45That's not true.
00:54:46No, there isn't.
00:54:47There's no forgiveness. There's no redemption for you.
00:54:49Not after what you did. You don't deserve it.
00:54:52You're right. You're right.
00:54:54You're absolutely right. I don't deserve it.
00:54:58And there isn't a day that goes by where I don't remember that if I only had the guts,
00:55:03I'd be dead right now.
00:55:06You tried to kill yourself.
00:55:09Well, that would have been a start.
00:55:13But then I remember
00:55:16that the person I was died
00:55:19when I asked God for forgiveness.
00:55:23God...
00:55:24God what?
00:55:26God what?
00:55:28Forgave you your sins?
00:55:32That is so...
00:55:36That is so infuriating.
00:55:38That's so ridiculous.
00:55:40That's so impossible that you could be...
00:55:44You could be evil.
00:55:47You could kill. You could rape.
00:55:49You could do all these evil things
00:55:51and then one day you just say,
00:55:53Oh, God.
00:55:55My bad.
00:55:58My bad.
00:56:00And that's it? You're forgiven?
00:56:03It's not quite that simple.
00:56:06You can wake up one day
00:56:08and you can just smell
00:56:10the stink of the piece of filth you really are
00:56:15and then you just say,
00:56:17Hey, God. Forgive.
00:56:20John 3.16.
00:56:22And all of a sudden, poof.
00:56:24You're a good person without ever having to earn it?
00:56:27That's why Jesus died on the cross.
00:56:29He died for our sins.
00:56:31What?
00:56:33You...
00:56:35You are not good.
00:56:38I never said I was good, Johnny.
00:56:41Just forgiven.
00:56:44Not forgiven by me, man.
00:56:46Look.
00:56:48Why don't you let these people go?
00:56:52No. They...
00:56:54They have to be here.
00:56:56This is not about them.
00:56:58No. This is about you.
00:57:05Anybody else know why he's here?
00:57:07For the same reason that brought everybody here.
00:57:09No, no, no, no, no, no, no. Not exactly.
00:57:11So then why are you here?
00:57:13Why am I here? Yeah.
00:57:15I don't know. Why am I here?
00:57:17Earl, you want to tell them why I'm here?
00:57:21I didn't think so.
00:57:24Ten years ago,
00:57:28my entire reason for existence
00:57:34left me.
00:57:37When I was a kid, I was a good kid.
00:57:40Faithful kid. I used to go to church.
00:57:43I used to go to Sunday school.
00:57:45Bible studies, all that thing.
00:57:47I had faith for a kid.
00:57:49When I'm five years old, my dog dies.
00:57:53But I keep my faith.
00:57:57I think it's God's way.
00:58:00Later on, my mom died.
00:58:04My mom was great.
00:58:06But I keep my faith.
00:58:08I know it's God's way.
00:58:12Three years later, my dad dies, and that was bad.
00:58:15That was ugly.
00:58:18And it rattles my faith, but
00:58:21I'm trying to hold on.
00:58:24And then I meet
00:58:27Jilly.
00:58:31I meet sweet Jilly.
00:58:35And any ounce of question or doubt about my faith
00:58:42has disappeared.
00:58:45She was God's glorious creation.
00:58:49Personified.
00:58:54I had it.
00:58:56It struck gold.
00:59:02Jilly.
00:59:06I have been playing with the idea of,
00:59:08you're going to like this,
00:59:10I've been playing with the idea of seminary.
00:59:15When my dad died, I kind of put it all on the back burner.
00:59:19The day after I met Jilly,
00:59:23I applied.
00:59:25Everything was just falling into place.
00:59:36Anyone guess what happened next?
00:59:40Anybody want to guess what happened next?
00:59:44I did.
00:59:51I was working in advertising.
00:59:57And I was good.
01:00:00I had just
01:00:02landed a big account.
01:00:05The biggest.
01:00:08So,
01:00:10we celebrated.
01:00:12Hard.
01:00:16I made the decision
01:00:18to drive home.
01:00:22And I was really drunk.
01:00:27I hit and killed this man's wife.
01:00:33His pregnant wife.
01:00:36So, you know, we've all lost somebody, Johnny.
01:00:38You know, you're not alone in that.
01:00:40I suppose.
01:00:41So, you can't lose faith. It's not worth it.
01:00:48I don't know what my faith
01:00:51was worth
01:00:53when I was trying to deal with the loss of my wife.
01:00:57When I was trying to deal with the loss of my family.
01:01:01When I was trying to deal with the loss of my family,
01:01:05I prayed.
01:01:07I came to God.
01:01:08I prayed some more.
01:01:10I came to God.
01:01:11I said, yeah, well, you know, there's got to be some reason for this, right?
01:01:14God's will.
01:01:16Master plan.
01:01:18There's got to be some cause to all this, right?
01:01:20This too shall pass.
01:01:23And you know what?
01:01:25Comfort
01:01:27and ease it brought me.
01:01:29You know what patience and clarity it brought me?
01:01:31None.
01:01:34You know what brought me
01:01:36patience and comfort?
01:01:37Booze.
01:01:39A lot of booze.
01:01:41I get it, Johnny. I understand.
01:01:45And I'm so sorry for you, but
01:01:47how is any of this going to help that?
01:01:51This is not going to end your grief, Johnny.
01:01:55My grief will never stop.
01:01:59I learned that ten years ago.
01:02:02This year,
01:02:06this is justice.
01:02:09This is comeuppance.
01:02:12We make our own.
01:02:16You know what, Earl?
01:02:19I'm on to you.
01:02:22You're a fraud.
01:02:26You don't believe in your redemption.
01:02:30I can smell you a mile away.
01:02:33I know you doubt
01:02:35your remorse.
01:02:37I can see it in your eyes.
01:02:40Any remorse I feel
01:02:43doesn't take away from my faith
01:02:45in the love of God.
01:02:48It's the same faith you have.
01:02:51My faith is long gone.
01:02:54I don't believe that.
01:02:55Believe it.
01:02:57Would it help at all
01:03:00if I was to say I'm sorry?
01:03:02Sorry?
01:03:04I thought that's what this whole thing was.
01:03:07To you.
01:03:09Would it help if I was to say I was sorry to you?
01:03:14I sincerely doubt it,
01:03:17but I want to hear you try.
01:03:20I am truly sorry, Johnny.
01:03:26I know I can never give you back what I took from you.
01:03:31I can never make up to you for what I've done.
01:03:35But I have spent every waking minute of my life since
01:03:40trying to make sure that others don't go down that same path.
01:03:44Love is real.
01:03:47Forgiveness is real.
01:03:49The power to change is real.
01:03:51Miracles, Johnny.
01:03:53Miracles are real.
01:03:56I have affected so many lives through the course of this work.
01:04:01And you're right.
01:04:02I don't deserve forgiveness.
01:04:04You're absolutely right.
01:04:06But the Lord has given it to me.
01:04:09I don't deserve forgiveness.
01:04:11But the Lord has given it to me.
01:04:15And I...
01:04:18I have worked every day since.
01:04:22It's my way of saying thank you to Him
01:04:25for what He's given me.
01:04:26Thanks.
01:04:31But you've also earned a gun to your head, man!
01:04:36You took away my wife! You took away my family!
01:04:41That's all I wanted, man! It's not that much to ask!
01:04:45I just wanted a family!
01:04:47I deserved that, didn't I?
01:04:49They deserved it, didn't they?
01:04:50They didn't get a chance!
01:04:52I just wanted a family.
01:04:57I was raped.
01:05:01It's not your turn.
01:05:03Let her speak.
01:05:06I'm certain she's done that much.
01:05:12I was 11 when it started.
01:05:18It was my father.
01:05:23I ran away when I was 16.
01:05:27I hated him.
01:05:30I hated myself.
01:05:34It ruined my life.
01:05:37It ruined my life.
01:05:43I turned to, um...
01:05:46I turned to drugs and alcohol and sex
01:05:50and anything that I could find that would reconnect me
01:05:54to the wholeness I once felt from my relationship with God.
01:06:00But then, one day, I realized it was all in vain.
01:06:05Because nothing...
01:06:08nothing can ever fill that hole in your life left by the absence of God.
01:06:18So...
01:06:20in order to...
01:06:23begin to turn my life around,
01:06:26I had to accept God.
01:06:29And I had to forgive.
01:06:32Forgiveness is God's way.
01:06:39What's going on?
01:06:41That's the SWAT team.
01:06:43Oh, God.
01:06:44Help us.
01:06:48Okay.
01:06:51You're not going to answer that?
01:06:53Hostage negotiation is like a first date.
01:06:55You don't want to seem too eager.
01:06:59Yo.
01:07:00They want to talk to you.
01:07:02Yeah?
01:07:03Well, um...
01:07:04I don't want to talk to them.
01:07:06Well, you know they're going to want something.
01:07:08All right.
01:07:09Just, Hick, listen to me.
01:07:10I just need a little more time, okay?
01:07:12What for?
01:07:13What...
01:07:14Tell you what.
01:07:15Get me a bus.
01:07:17A short, yellow school bus.
01:07:19Municipal driver.
01:07:20And no cops.
01:07:21What are you talking about?
01:07:23Just get me the bus, Hick.
01:07:26Call back.
01:07:30Give me the phone.
01:07:31Let me talk to him.
01:07:32Sorry, Captain.
01:07:33That's our call.
01:07:34We're going in.
01:07:35No one's going in.
01:07:36He's my partner.
01:07:37Let them do their job.
01:07:38You're not going in without me.
01:07:39Simple.
01:07:40Look, I get it.
01:07:41He's your partner.
01:07:42But nobody's died here today.
01:07:43And I'm not going to start with you.
01:07:45Jones!
01:07:46Buderak!
01:07:47You're on me.
01:07:48Let's go.
01:07:49Uh, okay, kids.
01:07:51They're coming in.
01:07:53What?
01:07:54Come on.
01:07:55Come on.
01:07:56You got to let us go.
01:07:57This isn't going to end well.
01:07:58I know you don't want to hurt anybody.
01:07:59I know it.
01:08:00I see it in your eyes.
01:08:01It just hurts.
01:08:02Anyway.
01:08:03Let's just sit down.
01:08:04Sit down.
01:08:05Please.
01:08:06Oh, man.
01:08:07Okay.
01:08:08Okay.
01:08:09Uh.
01:08:10Over here.
01:08:11Over here.
01:08:12Ah.
01:08:13Go.
01:08:14Go.
01:08:15Move.
01:08:16Ah.
01:08:17Hick.
01:08:18Um, I'm going to, uh, I'm going to send you three hot, okay?
01:08:28Well, you're not going to get them all, Hick.
01:08:30You're going to get three.
01:08:32And that should get me some goodwill.
01:08:35Yeah, well.
01:08:37This is going to be over real soon, anyway.
01:08:40Call me back.
01:08:43Move them out, boys.
01:08:44Move them out.
01:08:45Let's go.
01:08:49You said three.
01:08:50Who's staying?
01:08:52Uh, I don't know.
01:08:53That's, uh, um.
01:08:56I suppose it's up to you guys.
01:08:57Who wants to stay here with me and the big kahuna?
01:09:00I'm staying.
01:09:01What are you doing?
01:09:02I'm staying.
01:09:03Cherise, put your hand out.
01:09:04Baby, don't do this.
01:09:05Let one of them stay.
01:09:06It's fine.
01:09:07No.
01:09:08Okay.
01:09:09If you're staying, I'm staying.
01:09:10No, you're not.
01:09:11It's fine.
01:09:12All right.
01:09:13Then you're going to have to shoot me because I'm not leaving my girl.
01:09:15I'm going to have to shoot you?
01:09:17I'm not leaving her.
01:09:18Isaac, what is wrong with you?
01:09:20All day long.
01:09:22I'm not leaving.
01:09:23You're an audacity.
01:09:24Don't you realize what a guy is on the edge?
01:09:27Why didn't I shoot you earlier, buddy?
01:09:29Why didn't I just shoot you earlier?
01:09:31Look at this.
01:09:33Whoa!
01:09:34Whoa!
01:09:36You're going to listen to me now?
01:09:38If you love your girl, you'll listen to me.
01:09:40I've been getting on my last nerve every, ah!
01:09:46This is not going to end well for you, man.
01:09:48No, it's not going to end well for me at all.
01:09:52Maybe that 10 years ago, this wouldn't have ended well for me.
01:09:56Okay, kids.
01:10:00I guess this is last call.
01:10:02Last call.
01:10:03That's funny.
01:10:04Last call.
01:10:05You can keep on praying, but you can't do it here.
01:10:08It's been fun.
01:10:09It's been enlightening.
01:10:13But it's time to go.
01:10:17So long, girl.
01:10:20Go with your bad self.
01:10:22Come on!
01:10:23Come on!
01:10:25Let me see your hands!
01:10:26Let me see your hands!
01:10:27Move!
01:10:28Move!
01:10:29Move!
01:10:30Go!
01:10:31Go!
01:10:32Just go.
01:10:35Just go.
01:10:36Be smart.
01:10:37Go.
01:10:39Just go.
01:10:41Go.
01:10:42Go.
01:10:43Go with God.
01:10:44Let me see your hands!
01:10:46Let me see your hands!
01:10:47Come on, come on!
01:10:49Come on!
01:10:54Alright.
01:10:57Hey, loverboy.
01:11:02Oh, God.
01:11:04Chop chop, man.
01:11:06Go, Isaac.
01:11:08Go go go go go. Quick quick quick, like a bunny.
01:11:11Go, Isaac.
01:11:16Goodbye, Isaac.
01:11:17Don't worry. I'll take care of your friend.
01:11:20So long. Drive safe.
01:11:24All right, Natalie. Run up.
01:11:27-âȘâȘâȘâȘ
01:11:29Move! Move! Move!
01:11:31Go! Go! Go! Go!
01:11:33Go! Go! Go! Go!
01:11:35Go! Go! Go! Go!
01:11:37-âȘâȘâȘâȘ
01:11:39-âȘâȘâȘâȘ
01:11:41Okay.
01:11:43And then there were three.
01:11:47Looks like we're going down.
01:11:50No, Johnny.
01:11:52I'm not going anywhere.
01:11:54This is between you and me.
01:11:56Let Natalie go.
01:11:58I don't have time to argue with you, Earl.
01:12:00Just go! Go!
01:12:02All right.
01:12:04Turn around and go!
01:12:06I can't see anything. It's too dark in here.
01:12:08Oh, good.
01:12:10Ooh!
01:12:12Aah!
01:12:14Whoa!
01:12:16Buddy boy!
01:12:18That wasn't smart.
01:12:20That's a pretty good punch, man.
01:12:22Help him up.
01:12:28Grab that candle there.
01:12:32All right.
01:12:34Go, go, go, go, go.
01:12:36Chop, chop, chop, chop.
01:12:38Chop, chop.
01:12:40Come here.
01:12:42Okay.
01:12:44Okay.
01:12:46Yeah, right here.
01:12:48Let's go ahead.
01:12:50Okay.
01:12:52Okay.
01:12:54Okay.
01:12:56All right.
01:13:10All right.
01:13:16Earl, are you okay?
01:13:20I wish you would call me dad.
01:13:24I don't think we're quite there yet.
01:13:26Dad?
01:13:32Yeah.
01:13:36So you knew who I was then?
01:13:40I saw you in court.
01:13:42Right?
01:13:44My mother wanted us to see firsthand
01:13:46the pain that he caused.
01:13:50I was with him in the police station
01:13:52when he got word that your wife had died.
01:13:56I watched a life drain right out of his eyes.
01:14:00I watched my father die
01:14:02right before my eyes.
01:14:06The man that was left behind wasn't my father.
01:14:10The man that was left tore
01:14:12what was left of my family apart.
01:14:14I haven't even been able to be in the same room
01:14:16with him for years.
01:14:18So what are you doing here now, then?
01:14:20I'm doing the same thing that you're doing here.
01:14:24So where's your gun?
01:14:26We're both here to find out who this man really is now.
01:14:30Well, I came here to kill
01:14:32who this man really is now.
01:14:34No, you didn't.
01:14:36If you came here to kill him, you would have done it already.
01:14:38You came here to find out the truth.
01:14:42The truth is
01:14:44he killed my family.
01:14:48I know, but none of this is going to bring them back.
01:14:50I know that.
01:14:52So what is this, then?
01:14:54Revenge?
01:14:58Yeah.
01:15:00It's revenge. If that's what you want to call it, this is revenge.
01:15:02Just because my father was still alive,
01:15:04it doesn't mean I didn't lose him.
01:15:06All right? I know loss.
01:15:08I know the pain
01:15:10of losing someone you love. It hurts.
01:15:12All right? There's probably no
01:15:14greater pain on this earth, but you've got to make a choice.
01:15:18And I chose to live.
01:15:20All right? To be a good person
01:15:22despite it all.
01:15:24You really think
01:15:26that your wife would want this for you?
01:15:30You don't know anything
01:15:32about my wife!
01:15:34You know that you loved her, all right?
01:15:36You wouldn't be here if you didn't.
01:15:38And I also know that you're a man of God.
01:15:40Right?
01:15:42Listen, I had so much hate for this man
01:15:44for so long, until I realized
01:15:46it wasn't hate.
01:15:48All right? Everything I did
01:15:50to avoid him,
01:15:52to hurt him back,
01:15:54everything was because I love him.
01:15:56He's my father, and I love him.
01:16:00And now you want to take him away from me
01:16:02like he took your family back.
01:16:04You want to take him away from me
01:16:06like he took your family away from you.
01:16:08Who does that help, Johnny?
01:16:10He'll be dead, yeah.
01:16:12Sure, but he'll be dead
01:16:14with God.
01:16:16How does that help you?
01:16:24What?
01:16:28I never thought I'd see those eyes again.
01:16:30Those are the same eyes
01:16:32that he's had in his head
01:16:34since he got out.
01:16:36That's because Jesus is in my heart.
01:16:40And God forgives, right?
01:16:42Yes. Yes, he does.
01:16:46God forgives.
01:16:50Although I don't.
01:16:54He killed my wife.
01:16:56He destroyed your family.
01:16:58He took my faith.
01:17:02He does not deserve forgiveness.
01:17:04I know, but what if we give it to him anyway?
01:17:06Because that's what faith is.
01:17:08You know, just step down.
01:17:10No.
01:17:12Step aside! Step aside!
01:17:14Johnny! Johnny, look at me.
01:17:16Johnny!
01:17:18It's not too late for you.
01:17:20You can come back.
01:17:22What?
01:17:24You can let God back into your life.
01:17:28Shut up!
01:17:30Just ask for forgiveness. He will forgive you.
01:17:32No, stop it! Stop it!
01:17:34Just ask.
01:17:36It's too late. It's too late.
01:17:38No, no, no.
01:17:40As long as you're still breathing,
01:17:42it's not too late.
01:17:44Dad.
01:17:46I forgive you.
01:17:48What?
01:17:50I do, honey.
01:17:52No!
01:17:56No!
01:17:58This is not...
01:18:00This is not...
01:18:02This is not...
01:18:04This is not...
01:18:06This is not...
01:18:08This is not...
01:18:10This is not...
01:18:12This is...
01:18:14This is not how this is supposed to go down.
01:18:16What were you hoping to accomplish here?
01:18:18He needs...
01:18:20He needs to know that forgiveness is not an option.
01:18:22Not an option for you.
01:18:24Not here on earth.
01:18:26Not in heaven.
01:18:28That's not true.
01:18:32You know that.
01:18:34Yes.
01:18:36You know that.
01:18:38You have no proof.
01:18:40I do.
01:18:42I see evidence of it every single day.
01:18:44Lives restored.
01:18:46Brought back.
01:18:48Risen from the ashes of their own
01:18:50self-destructive actions.
01:18:52Johnny, we all witness that.
01:18:54Every day.
01:18:56That's what my faith is grounded in.
01:18:58Johnny, if you can do it,
01:19:00you can do it too.
01:19:02No, no.
01:19:04No, it's too late.
01:19:06It's too late for me.
01:19:08What's coming
01:19:10is hell.
01:19:12There's no forgiveness for me.
01:19:14Yes, yes there is.
01:19:16I forgive you.
01:19:18And if you can't find it in yourself to forgive me,
01:19:20ask God and He will do it for you.
01:19:24You have to know this isn't the right way.
01:19:26You have to know that.
01:19:28I mean, in a universe of an eye for an eye,
01:19:30we'd all be walking around blind.
01:19:32Is that the kind of world
01:19:34that you want to live in?
01:19:36Well, you don't have to.
01:19:38Choose forgiveness.
01:19:40Choose love.
01:19:42Look,
01:19:44it's a free gift for everyone.
01:19:46All you have to do is ask.
01:19:48And you know something? You're absolutely right.
01:19:50We don't deserve it.
01:19:52But He gives it to us anyway.
01:19:58You...
01:20:02You killed my wife.
01:20:06You killed my baby.
01:20:08You killed my...
01:20:10my angels.
01:20:12Yes.
01:20:14Yes, I did.
01:20:18We can't make right everything in this world, John.
01:20:22Starvation, pain,
01:20:24ignorance, evil.
01:20:26It took me coming face to face
01:20:28with my own madness,
01:20:30my own brokenness,
01:20:32to realize that there was no way
01:20:34on God's great earth that I could ever
01:20:36repair that with my own hands.
01:20:38I could only live with my own
01:20:40emptiness in my soul for so long.
01:20:44If you can't find the power
01:20:46to forgive me within yourself,
01:20:48trust me.
01:20:50Ask God, and He will do it
01:20:52through you.
01:20:54It's just...
01:20:56Think of it.
01:20:58If God doesn't forgive us,
01:21:00where does that leave us?
01:21:02We will all be eternally guilty
01:21:04with no hope for redemption.
01:21:06Yet because He does forgive us,
01:21:08we get to experience
01:21:10love, the true meaning of love,
01:21:12in its greatest form.
01:21:22We don't deserve it.
01:21:26We don't deserve it.
01:21:28You're right. You're absolutely right.
01:21:30We don't deserve it.
01:21:32But haven't you ever been given something
01:21:34that you don't deserve?
01:21:36And how did that make you feel,
01:21:38knowing that someone
01:21:40gave it to you freely
01:21:44just as the Son of Man
01:21:46came not to be ministered
01:21:48unto,
01:21:50but to minister
01:21:52and lived His life as a ransom
01:21:54for many.
01:21:57That's Matthew 20, 28.
01:22:01That's right.
01:22:03Without God's grace, without His forgiveness,
01:22:05we would all
01:22:07lose everything.
01:22:09I was exactly in that position.
01:22:11I had done something
01:22:13so, so tragic,
01:22:15so
01:22:17unspeakably wrong
01:22:19that
01:22:21I was lost.
01:22:23There was nothing else I could do.
01:22:26All I could hope for was His mercy.
01:22:28And I begged for it.
01:22:30I got on my knees and I begged for that,
01:22:32which I knew I did not deserve.
01:22:34But that's what grace is,
01:22:36Johnny.
01:22:38God giving us that which we do not deserve.
01:22:40His mercy.
01:22:46Oh, but
01:22:48God
01:22:51God commendeth
01:22:53unto us His love
01:22:55in that
01:22:57though we are sinners,
01:23:00Jesus died for us.
01:23:02Yeah.
01:23:04Romans 5, 8.
01:23:06Something like that, right?
01:23:08Yeah.
01:23:10Forgiveness, it releases us from the
01:23:12bondage of our
01:23:14hatred,
01:23:16our anger.
01:23:18It also releases
01:23:20the one in bondage to their sin
01:23:22and their guilt from their
01:23:24deeds.
01:23:30I just don't know.
01:23:32Johnny, if God
01:23:34loves us enough to forgive us, why can't
01:23:36we, why can't we
01:23:38say with Jesus Christ,
01:23:40Father, forgive them for
01:23:42they know not what they do.
01:23:44You know, and then we can live free
01:23:46from the bondage of an unforgiving
01:23:48spirit if our friends
01:23:50betrayed us
01:23:52or our family let us
01:23:54down.
01:23:56I mean, the only answer to the problem
01:23:58is just to forgive.
01:24:00Oh.
01:24:14Ask.
01:24:16Just ask.
01:24:18I've done so many
01:24:20bad things.
01:24:22Just ask.
01:24:24God will forgive you,
01:24:26Johnny. All you have to do is ask.
01:24:30Just ask.
01:24:32Just ask.
01:24:36I'm sorry. I'm sorry.
01:24:38I'm sorry.
01:24:40I didn't.
01:24:42I didn't.
01:24:44I didn't.
01:24:46Oh.
01:24:48Oh, God.
01:24:50Oh, forgive me.
01:24:52Forgive me.
01:24:54God, forgive me.
01:24:56God, forgive me.
01:24:58I'm sorry.
01:25:00I'm sorry.
01:25:02So am I.
01:25:14Pray with me.
01:25:16Pray with me.
01:25:18Okay, okay, okay.
01:25:20God,
01:25:22grant us the serenity
01:25:24to accept the things we cannot change,
01:25:26the courage
01:25:28to accept the things we can,
01:25:30and the wisdom to know the difference.
01:25:34Amen.
01:25:36Put it in your head.
01:25:38Put it in your head.
01:25:40It's okay.
01:25:42I'm sorry. I'm sorry.
01:25:44I said I'm sorry.
01:25:46I'm sorry.
01:25:48Let's go.
01:25:50Let's go. Let's go.
01:25:52Earl, Earl, Earl Wilson.
01:25:54Okay, okay. Somebody's got to come with me.
01:25:56Let's go.
01:25:58Okay.
01:26:20Your medics are on the way.
01:26:22You okay? Yeah, I'm fine.
01:26:24What happened here?
01:26:26What we're supposed to.
01:26:28Okay.
01:26:32Johnny's not a bad guy.
01:26:34Just a little lost.
01:26:36Well, I think
01:26:38he might be finding his way back.
01:26:42I'm glad you're alive.
01:26:44Me too.
01:26:46Sorry you had to go through
01:26:48all that, Tom.
01:26:52Maybe.
01:26:56Maybe.
01:27:26guitar solo
01:27:56guitar solo
01:28:26guitar solo
01:28:56guitar solo
01:29:26guitar solo
01:29:56guitar solo
01:29:58guitar solo
01:30:00guitar solo
01:30:02guitar solo