I Was A Child Soldier In The Laser Wars Of 2001
Vibbs
Category
🥇
SportsTranscript
00:00:00Bienvenidos, Konichiwa, Bonjour, and welcome live from Bolero at Chelsea Piers.
00:00:19This is Barstool's laser tag extravaganza.
00:00:23I'm Adam Ferron, joined as always by my esteemed colleague, Francis Ellis.
00:00:28A pleasure to be here with you, Roan.
00:00:30I can't wait to watch our unbelievably unathletic comrades compete in something that doesn't
00:00:34make any sense.
00:00:35It's going to be ugly and it's going to be disgusting.
00:00:38Let's get into the teams right now.
00:00:40Team one, Vibs KFC, Keegs Gia, and John Rich.
00:00:45Francis, who stands out?
00:00:46Well, I'm going to go with Gia.
00:00:49Gia is a surprise dark horse of an athlete.
00:00:52I don't know if you've ever seen her throw a shot put, but she'll beat the shit out of
00:00:56you.
00:00:57She'll knock you to death with a shot put ball and stab you with the javelin after the
00:01:01fact.
00:01:02Team two, Fights Ainsley, Caroline, Ken Jack, and Robbie Fox.
00:01:07What are you seeing?
00:01:08I'm seeing a lot of moodiness, a lot of angst.
00:01:12You know, Fights at the top is going to bring the positivity and the rest of them are going
00:01:15to bring the mood down.
00:01:17And then team three, speaking of bringing the mood down, it's Frank the Tank, Tommy
00:01:21Smokes, Clemmer, Jackie, and Kareem.
00:01:24Yeah, it sort of feels like one of those reverse evolution charts.
00:01:27A lot of different body types on this track.
00:01:29Yeah, it's very interesting stuff coming and let's go through the rules very quickly.
00:01:35Two hands must remain on the blaster in order for it to work.
00:01:40Teams will get a point for tagging or shooting players and more points for tagging their
00:01:44bases.
00:01:45If bases are hit three times in a row, the base will be temporarily destroyed and a large
00:01:49point bonus will be given to the new team.
00:01:52After a base has been destroyed five times, it will be permanently disabled and the team
00:01:56with the most points at the end of the round will actually win.
00:01:59Wow.
00:02:00Yeah.
00:02:01And then we're going to do a three game round robin tournament, which also sounds fun.
00:02:05Each team will play each other once and then teams with the lowest aggregate score at the
00:02:10end of the round robin tournament will be eliminated and the final two teams will face
00:02:13off in the championship round.
00:02:15Does that all make sense, Francis?
00:02:16It sure does.
00:02:17And I think we'll get the hang of the thing as we go along here.
00:02:21So well done.
00:02:22First off, we have game one.
00:02:25Game one.
00:02:26It's Team Vibs against Team Fights.
00:02:28Do you have a favorite as we leap into this competition?
00:02:31Well, I know Vibs.
00:02:33He likes to scurry.
00:02:34He stays low to the ground and he can run for days.
00:02:36Like a vole.
00:02:37Yes.
00:02:38A vole.
00:02:39So hopefully that prediction feels right and I like the Vibs team.
00:02:46Let's throw it down to the teams to see how they're feeling and to see what their strategies
00:02:50are.
00:02:51Uh, winning?
00:02:52Any sort of plans?
00:02:53Are you going to rush into it?
00:02:54Are you going to be nervous?
00:02:55Nervous about it?
00:02:56I'm definitely going to win.
00:02:57I feel like I'm going to let the two guys who came in cam out.
00:02:58I feel like the white hats.
00:02:59Let them come in.
00:03:00I agree with that.
00:03:01It's going to throw up at me.
00:03:02I'm going to take it off.
00:03:03All right.
00:03:04For the team.
00:03:05I just got fucked.
00:03:06I'm John Mason.
00:03:07For the sake of the team.
00:03:08This is my fucking team.
00:03:09Yeah.
00:03:10I'm getting as full as I can get.
00:03:12I think one more person at the base and the rest go out?
00:03:13Yeah.
00:03:14Let's talk strategy.
00:03:15Kill.
00:03:16No.
00:03:17I think you want to be a capture the flag guy.
00:03:18Yeah.
00:03:19Yeah.
00:03:20Yeah.
00:03:21Yeah.
00:03:22But we need people to stay at the base too and protect our flag.
00:03:23When we get shot.
00:03:24When we get shot.
00:03:25What happens?
00:03:26We're just like disabled for a couple of seconds?
00:03:27Yeah.
00:03:28Yeah.
00:03:29Is there room for everyone?
00:03:30Yeah.
00:03:31Yeah.
00:03:32Yeah.
00:03:33Yeah.
00:03:34Yeah.
00:03:35Yeah.
00:03:36Yeah.
00:03:37Yeah.
00:03:38Yeah.
00:03:39Yeah.
00:03:40Yeah.
00:03:41Yeah.
00:03:42Yeah.
00:03:43Yeah.
00:03:44Yeah.
00:03:45Yeah.
00:03:46Yeah.
00:03:47Yeah.
00:03:48What's their weakest link?
00:03:49I have to go look.
00:03:50The correct answer is yes.
00:03:51All of the above.
00:03:52I don't want to say.
00:03:53I don't want to say.
00:03:54It's a girl?
00:03:55It's not a girl.
00:03:56It's Jia.
00:03:57Jia's the most athletic person at this company.
00:03:58I thought that was my answer.
00:03:59Who do you think?
00:04:00I think Kevin.
00:04:01I suspect Kevin.
00:04:02That's a lot of laser tag.
00:04:03Oh.
00:04:04It's fine.
00:04:05It's fine.
00:04:06Have you ever played laser tag before?
00:04:07I have.
00:04:08I believe I did a birthday party once at DC Discovery Zone
00:04:12where we got to do it for all of about four minutes
00:04:14and then our budget was up.
00:04:16Yeah, it's usually a four minute time.
00:04:18You're always left wanting more,
00:04:19except for in this case, we got a long one for you today.
00:04:22Strap in, enjoy yourself.
00:04:24It's time to do some laser tag.
00:04:26Okay, this is very clear.
00:04:28Divide and conquer.
00:04:29Okay, this is very clear to your team.
00:04:30Do whatever you want.
00:04:31Oh, hell yeah.
00:04:33Ainsley being industrialized.
00:04:34It's getting serious.
00:04:36And it's begun and nobody knew.
00:04:39Robbie looks confused off the gate.
00:04:41So does Feidelberg,
00:04:43but that's a permanent look of confusion.
00:04:45And our Robbie Fox cam,
00:04:46our first look as Robbie heads for the Sniper Skyway.
00:04:49Oh, there goes KFC to meet him from the other entrance.
00:04:53And we're off.
00:04:54A little bit of combativeness
00:04:56as the red team and the blue team butting heads.
00:04:59KFC is making a move on the blue base already.
00:05:04Looks like KFC shot Robbie.
00:05:05And then Robbie leaves after hitting KFC.
00:05:08Oh, KFC destroys the blue base
00:05:10and we're off to the racists, races.
00:05:13And Jack fights attack red from the Bowery.
00:05:16And Feidelberg's legs are looking strong.
00:05:18Oh, a little tip to tip, dare I say a docking.
00:05:25Absolute chaos now in the arena,
00:05:27but that's what they signed up for,
00:05:29the red base being protected.
00:05:31And meanwhile, KFC vibs are attacking the blue base.
00:05:35You were right about that scuttling.
00:05:36And there's Ainsley.
00:05:38So let's cut to the chase.
00:05:38Is Ainsley gonna get hired full-time?
00:05:41After this performance, it's hard to say.
00:05:43She's peeking around the corner as KFC tags her again.
00:05:45Meanwhile, Keegs sneaks in and takes aim at the blue base.
00:05:48I feel like it's important for the women to stick together,
00:05:51not in the game as much, but in life and within barstool.
00:05:54The more you can get in with the ladies,
00:05:56the farther you'll go.
00:05:57You don't wanna be, oh, Bob Fox is,
00:05:59oh, look at it, he's defending his base right there.
00:06:02But you wanna make sure that you're in strong
00:06:04with the ladies.
00:06:05There goes Spice making a move.
00:06:07That is a great thing in theory,
00:06:09but personally, I much prefer it
00:06:10when women like to subscribe to that theory
00:06:13and then immediately turn on each other and talk shit.
00:06:16It's important to say you're subscribing to the theory.
00:06:19Oh, it looks like the red base just got destroyed.
00:06:21But then in reality, in practice,
00:06:23it's a whole different thing.
00:06:24Oh, it looks like the red base is under attack.
00:06:26KFC, Keegs, and Vibs are going to go,
00:06:28they're gonna have a threesome of protection
00:06:31there at the base.
00:06:33And it looks like they are truly, oh.
00:06:35Oh man, KFC.
00:06:36Ice is sneaking around the back.
00:06:38It's hard to know.
00:06:39I guess people are really,
00:06:40it seems like people have realized
00:06:41it's more advantageous to shoot someone in the back
00:06:44than it is to shoot them in the front.
00:06:46Yes, which, historically, did that happen a lot?
00:06:49Brutus, the blue base, is left unprotected
00:06:53and KFC attacking it once again, lighting it up.
00:06:56He is really obsessed with that base.
00:06:59Oh yeah, taking it to the base.
00:07:01And no trouble for him at all,
00:07:03as Caroline, see, except from behind.
00:07:05You know, if I were hanging out with KFC right now,
00:07:06I'd say, you know, you don't have to spend
00:07:08so much time on the base.
00:07:09Let's spread the love around to the tip a little bit.
00:07:12Yeah, maybe the balls.
00:07:13Sure.
00:07:14Back in the blue base, Caroline is defending
00:07:15against a red attack, it seems,
00:07:18and she's really holding it down.
00:07:20Look at John Rich leaning out of that porthole there.
00:07:22I bet you he snuck through some smaller spaces than that
00:07:25to find some of those drugs he used to enjoy.
00:07:27He used to love drugs, and he's open about it.
00:07:28This is not us talking out of class.
00:07:31It's his story that we're just spreading, oral tradition.
00:07:35Spreading awareness, really, is what it's about.
00:07:37About him.
00:07:38And then Caroline still doing some good protecting,
00:07:41as Gia, athletic run.
00:07:43Ainsley's right there on her tail.
00:07:44Can she nail her?
00:07:46Seems like she did.
00:07:48Are you playing?
00:07:50Are you on the team?
00:07:51Oh, I'm on the Mali-O-T, you got me.
00:07:55Kim Jack, dressed like a 1970s burglar.
00:07:58And he looks like he's been sent in early
00:08:00to disable the smoke alarms.
00:08:02Yeah, it looks like he's off to shoot Batman's parents.
00:08:06Don't fuck with me and Vince, basically,
00:08:08because he's protecting his whole flank.
00:08:09Ainsley, ooh, she's sneaking around there.
00:08:12That's a sneak attack, that's pussy shit.
00:08:17And Kelly Keegs, some women-on-women violence.
00:08:20Frances loves to see it, I hate it.
00:08:22Blue team is over here defending the base.
00:08:25Blue team is trying to defend the base,
00:08:26and there's Robbie Fox, violent and charming,
00:08:29simultaneously, he is running it up
00:08:31on KFC's back end right there.
00:08:33He's doing the old shake-the-gun maneuver,
00:08:35which doesn't really tend to add a lot of efficacy, but.
00:08:38Ooh, there's Fikes making a move at the red base,
00:08:40and it seems like we have absolute chaos unfolding.
00:08:46I gotta have the record for getting shot the most.
00:08:48I've gotten shot 10 million times.
00:08:50How long did you go for?
00:08:52John Feidelberg, never a dull moment,
00:08:54never too shy to turn to the camera
00:08:56and let them know something probably
00:08:57about how lovely his hair is.
00:08:58Now he's on the ground.
00:09:00Oh, let's look at this.
00:09:00We have John Feidelberg, John Rich, Ken Jack,
00:09:04whose real name is Jack Kennedy,
00:09:05but Jack is another word for John.
00:09:07John, John, John, like a prostitute's dream.
00:09:11What a spiderweb of names.
00:09:13Yes, it truly is unimaginative.
00:09:15Now Ken Jack, Fikes, and Robbie
00:09:17are storming the other team's base.
00:09:19And then there's Ken Jack taking aim
00:09:20at the red base from a distance.
00:09:22He actually seems to be the most strategic player
00:09:24that I've seen among the group so far.
00:09:27Yeah, sometimes there's chaos that you need,
00:09:29but sometimes you need to kind of just sit back.
00:09:31But will it count for points for the blue team?
00:09:35That's really what we're trying to figure out.
00:09:37Viv's, as we look at him, a ton of action,
00:09:40and it seems like it has been creating
00:09:42a ton of points on his end.
00:09:44And I think that Kelly Keeks has been pretty active as well,
00:09:49but will that translate?
00:09:51Meanwhile, every time we cut to Ken Jack,
00:09:53I'm telling you, this guy seems to have the game
00:09:55figured out.
00:09:56He's got the steadiest trigger finger.
00:09:57He's not moving much.
00:09:58When he's discovered, he will move.
00:10:00But now he's in a cock fight.
00:10:03The cock fight is a little bit, it's interesting.
00:10:06But we have another standoff
00:10:08between KFC and Caroline right here.
00:10:10Oh, there it is.
00:10:11But it seems like there's a lot of,
00:10:13you're touching your gun to another person's gun,
00:10:15trying to shoot around their gun to hit their,
00:10:18it's an odd dance that you only see in laser tag.
00:10:21That's exactly right.
00:10:22It reminds me a little bit of middle school dances,
00:10:25actually, where you get very close to someone,
00:10:27but don't quite touch.
00:10:28Right, and room for the Holy Spirit,
00:10:30is what we call it in Catholic school.
00:10:31I was always that guy who never really wanted anyone
00:10:32to touch me because I didn't want them to realize
00:10:34that my pants were wet.
00:10:35Your pants were soaked, and the eczema, too,
00:10:37was acting up at the time.
00:10:40Now you've moved past your days of psoriasis and eczema,
00:10:43and your skin is buttery soft.
00:10:45Yeah, thanks in no small part to the fact
00:10:47that Robbie Fox is really shaking that gun
00:10:50like he's trying to get something out of it.
00:10:52Oh, I know, really seems like he's trying
00:10:54to empty the clip right there at the red base.
00:10:56Meanwhile, Ainsley is attacked from behind.
00:10:59Oh, is that how you treat an intern?
00:11:01Tennis skirts, what are our thoughts on them?
00:11:04I like them for tennis, but for laser tag,
00:11:07it's totally inappropriate.
00:11:09And meanwhile, whoever's wearing a white shirt,
00:11:12a white skirt, it's more visible underneath the blue lights.
00:11:15We learned this from the show Room Raiders,
00:11:18as everyone's cummy beds were suddenly unearthed
00:11:22anytime the blue light.
00:11:23That is an advantage, certainly, to Ken Jack,
00:11:26and the fact that he foresaw to wear all black.
00:11:29Wouldn't you know that if you were gonna be on Room Raiders
00:11:31to stop cumming on your sheets for a fucking week?
00:11:34It's the only thing they do on the show.
00:11:36It's one of those things where, yeah, I would've thought,
00:11:39or if anything, I would've made sure
00:11:41that every inch of my bed was covered in cum
00:11:43so that it all looked the same hue,
00:11:45and thus, no one would've known.
00:11:47Are we to believe that everybody,
00:11:49and there goes the red team
00:11:50successfully chasing everyone out,
00:11:51are we to believe, and then meanwhile,
00:11:53KFC's at the blue base with KFC,
00:11:55and fights and Bob Fox,
00:11:57fights and Bob Fox going against KFC, basically,
00:11:59is what's happening there.
00:12:00But are the, Bob Fox offscreen in the corner over there,
00:12:03sneaking around, and KFC goes for Bob Fox,
00:12:06doesn't see fights, right behind him, bam!
00:12:08KFC partnership going awry right there
00:12:11with the shot in the back.
00:12:12Is this the end of KFC radio?
00:12:14Some are saying.
00:12:15Are they really just cumming on the sheets like that
00:12:18without any type of clean up?
00:12:19Use a paper towel, use some Kleenex.
00:12:22It doesn't make any sense.
00:12:23I don't understand it.
00:12:24Or are they planting cum on these MTV shows
00:12:27like Room Raiders?
00:12:28I really can't get to the bottom of it mentally.
00:12:31You know what you really need to do
00:12:32is you need to take your sheets
00:12:33and bring them to one of those rivers
00:12:34in the third world country.
00:12:35Yes.
00:12:36Those ladies seem to know how to clean things better.
00:12:38They're geniuses.
00:12:40I'm tired.
00:12:41I wasn't built for war.
00:12:44Now Ainsley's going rogue, going after everyone.
00:12:47I don't know if it's a way to make friends,
00:12:49but it's a way to win a laser tag.
00:12:51You were my target in the shadow.
00:12:53Get away from me.
00:13:01Oh, there goes Ainsley, lighting up Vibs.
00:13:03Vibs has been active,
00:13:04but he takes one in the back right there.
00:13:07Gia, looking like she's ready to put up 22 points
00:13:10as shooting guard right now.
00:13:12Even her mannerisms are that of a basketball player.
00:13:15And she won't take that personally.
00:13:17She keeps asking to be included
00:13:18in all manner of basketball games.
00:13:20Exactly.
00:13:20No, she's a basketball player.
00:13:21She's a Hooper's Hooper.
00:13:22That's right.
00:13:23And I know that because I have a basketball podcast.
00:13:27I can recognize them.
00:13:29There's Ken, Jack, and Keeves.
00:13:31There's a lot of jabbing and stabbing of the guns.
00:13:34It's as if they're trying to throw the bullets out
00:13:36of the gun at the person they're shooting at.
00:13:39Meanwhile, over at the blue base,
00:13:40seems like Gia's hitting cross-legged,
00:13:42crisscross applesauce.
00:13:44Gia's attempting to sneak attack from the battery.
00:13:47Oh, there it is.
00:13:49Seems like Gia got a shot in on fights
00:13:51and keeps it moving in true Call of Duty style.
00:13:56There's Caroline, behind on KFC.
00:13:59Fights.
00:14:00See, if I were shooting,
00:14:01I would kind of hold the gun in front of my chest
00:14:04because it makes it harder for them to hit the chest plates
00:14:08as opposed to holding it by my eyes so I could see better.
00:14:11Everybody knows the first order of protection is your gun.
00:14:14Nothing stops a gun like another gun.
00:14:17And as they say in the military,
00:14:19this is my rifle, this is my gun,
00:14:21this is for fighting, this is for fun.
00:14:23One fish, two fish, red fish, blue fish.
00:14:26Right, of course.
00:14:27The old marching order sent by one Dr. Seuss.
00:14:31General Dr. Seuss.
00:14:33Who apparently, I've been told,
00:14:35had a bit of a checkered past
00:14:36and I spelled that C-H-E-Q-U-E-R-E-D.
00:14:40Right.
00:14:41And there's KFC regrouping in the battery.
00:14:43So what was he, a philanderer?
00:14:46I thought it was a Nazi sympathizer.
00:14:48Really?
00:14:48I could be making it up.
00:14:50Well, at least he wasn't a philanderer.
00:14:51No.
00:14:55I would have hated to see him be a philanderer.
00:14:57Right, right.
00:14:58Well, a Nazi sympathizer.
00:15:00That's a whole different,
00:15:01and you know what's crazy?
00:15:03There's KFC calling for backup.
00:15:05People would hear that about him
00:15:07and they would start to put the same smut
00:15:09on Mr. Rogers' name.
00:15:11They would say, oh, Dr. Seuss, X, Y, Z.
00:15:14And then they would want to disparage Mr. Rogers.
00:15:17And if you watch any of the good movies
00:15:20about Mr. Fred Rogers,
00:15:21there's no smut that you can put on his name,
00:15:23no mustard you can put on that man's jacket.
00:15:25He was infallible.
00:15:27Yes, pristine and righteous and all the right ways.
00:15:31If he was South American,
00:15:34I think that Mr. Rogers would be a saint.
00:15:35If he were from a Spanish-speaking country
00:15:37and more involved with the church,
00:15:38I think that they would give Mr. Rogers sainthood.
00:15:41Senor Rodrigo.
00:15:43Rodrigo, Fred Rogers.
00:15:46And see, I like that move by Caroline,
00:15:48just kind of covering the tip of the gun
00:15:50as Bob Fox is trying to advance on red from Broadway.
00:15:54Vibs is being allowed to tag Robbie through the porthole.
00:15:57I think that Vibs is putting up absolute numbers.
00:16:00And honestly, so is KFC,
00:16:02every time he's camped out at the base,
00:16:03I feel like that's a good way to get a ton of stats.
00:16:06And I think the chaotic players that we're seeing
00:16:08are going to be the more successful players
00:16:11that we're seeing so far,
00:16:13as Vibs running around a lot.
00:16:16Ainsley running around a lot.
00:16:17Really nice turn.
00:16:19Caroline running around a lot.
00:16:20KFC being very active.
00:16:22An unusual move there from Ken Jack.
00:16:24He tried to use his free hand
00:16:25to lower the muzzle of his opponent's gun.
00:16:28I'm surprised this hasn't gone to fisticuffs more often,
00:16:33because if it were me out there,
00:16:34I'd be cheating and I'd be getting frustrated.
00:16:37I would start to cry.
00:16:38I'd probably kick a wall or two.
00:16:39Oh, kick a wall.
00:16:42Here's Rob Fox, throws a grenade, fake grenade,
00:16:45but man, that looked fun.
00:16:48How many times does he shoot this fucking thing?
00:16:51So here goes KFC.
00:16:55There we go.
00:16:57Here's Ainsley.
00:16:58She's discovered Gia, who once again is just hiding.
00:17:03Little cowardly gameplay here from Gia overall,
00:17:05I would have to say.
00:17:07Yeah.
00:17:08Unfortunate stuff.
00:17:09We hate to see any cowardice,
00:17:11but I guess it's the name of the game somehow.
00:17:13Sometimes the coward, remember Saving Private Ryan,
00:17:15that one coward, he doesn't necessarily die
00:17:19as his comrade.
00:17:20I know, he's Up'Em.
00:17:21Up'Em, yes.
00:17:22That's who it is.
00:17:23Oh, are we done?
00:17:24Looks like we're done.
00:17:26I'm dripping sweat.
00:17:26I'm dripping.
00:17:28That's war.
00:17:29That's what war is.
00:17:30It's not pretty.
00:17:31Oh my God.
00:17:31Wow.
00:17:32I'm sweating to my shirt.
00:17:34I don't have a clue what the scores are gonna be,
00:17:36but I think I might've been nice with it.
00:17:37Let's tally up the points right now.
00:17:39It looks like the blue team, team two,
00:17:41racked up 42,550 points,
00:17:45but the red team victorious with 48,301 points.
00:17:52That's the number I had in my head.
00:17:53If you look at the box score,
00:17:55Viv's, his activeness proved to be the high score
00:18:00of the game as he almost doubled up the high score
00:18:04on the blue team with 19,750 points on his own.
00:18:08Well, Ainsley, intern Ainsley proved to be industrious,
00:18:12leading the blue team with 11,800 points,
00:18:16but it was not enough.
00:18:17No, and of course, Gia brought up the absolute rear
00:18:20with the fewest amount of points, 3,750.
00:18:24That's pretty disappointing in a performance from her.
00:18:25Bob Fox, the low man on the totem pole for team blue.
00:18:29Let's throw it down to the teams
00:18:30to see how they are feeling.
00:18:33It was great.
00:18:34First of all, we beat the other team.
00:18:34That's fantastic.
00:18:36Viv's like took the whole team on his back.
00:18:38Insane.
00:18:39Yeah, blue team just got introduced to Napalm.
00:18:42That's me, brother.
00:18:43Top score.
00:18:44All right.
00:18:45I thought we killed them,
00:18:46and I thought I was like the best player in history.
00:18:50I was not.
00:18:51Guys.
00:18:52Okay.
00:18:53Fuck the base.
00:18:54Don't shoot the base.
00:18:55Shooting the base is meaningless
00:18:56because we hit it 800 times, zero score.
00:18:59We're like second to last.
00:19:00That's crazy.
00:19:01Yeah, they definitely didn't have enough.
00:19:02Guys, you have to shoot the point
00:19:03and then just follow them and keep shooting.
00:19:04That's what they were doing.
00:19:06They were hating it, but I was like,
00:19:07I was following KFC.
00:19:08I was like,
00:19:10he's like, oh my God.
00:19:11I'm like, hi.
00:19:12It was me and Kevin five inches from each other
00:19:14just going back to the point.
00:19:15And then like when you actually get it,
00:19:16they run away and hide.
00:19:17Like I was like,
00:19:18jumping behind like windows and shit.
00:19:21I was getting pissed when Ainsley kept getting
00:19:23in the way of shooting me and then just like chasing me.
00:19:25Ainsley was just like,
00:19:26shoot me.
00:19:27And I was like, all right, let's just get her.
00:19:29I swear, it worked when she was there.
00:19:30Yeah, I know.
00:19:33Interesting stuff from the interviews there.
00:19:35It seems like Ainsley's pissing people off
00:19:37and she knows it.
00:19:39Yeah.
00:19:40John Rich was fed up.
00:19:40He's had it up to here.
00:19:42He also took a tumble.
00:19:43And meanwhile,
00:19:44KFC Caroline went head to head
00:19:46throughout the entire match.
00:19:47A little lover's quarrel.
00:19:48Oh, very interesting.
00:19:50But that's what you come to laser tag to see.
00:19:54And that's why you're still here watching
00:19:55because you love this shit.
00:19:56The same way I do.
00:19:57You're a junkie,
00:19:58a laser tag junkie.
00:19:59So let's get you another fix.
00:20:01Game two.
00:20:02It's going to be team one against team number three.
00:20:05That's right.
00:20:06We're back with the red team being Vibs,
00:20:08KFC, Keegs, Gia, John Rich again.
00:20:10Introducing the blue team.
00:20:11It's Frank, Tommy, Clemmer, Jackie, and Kareem.
00:20:15Interested to see how Frank the Tank is going to move.
00:20:18He has been walking a lot.
00:20:19Will he be able to run?
00:20:21Well, let's put it this way.
00:20:22He's certainly in the best shape that he's in,
00:20:24has been in for laser tag.
00:20:26Yeah, no,
00:20:27this is the best time to catch him for laser tag.
00:20:29And we'll be tied the red team
00:20:31because they are going to be seeing peak Frank the Tank.
00:20:34And well,
00:20:37let's go down and see what they're thinking before the game.
00:20:40We're talking more strategy
00:20:42than I would imagine any team has ever talked before.
00:20:44It's that strategy.
00:20:45Did you hear our strategy with Clemmer?
00:20:47Okay, so Clemmer gets down in a ball.
00:20:54We could put him behind us.
00:20:56He shoots at the base.
00:20:57I can walk and I'm super fast.
00:21:00Let's see how fast, like walk and you can hide behind him.
00:21:03I can do this.
00:21:06Oh my God.
00:21:06That's not it.
00:21:07The second you turn,
00:21:08someone's just going to walk.
00:21:09I think there's more things in your back.
00:21:10Yeah, it's no, it's huge.
00:21:12Yeah, the front's just like a small plate.
00:21:14The back is-
00:21:15Should we go like back to back?
00:21:18That's not the hardest idea.
00:21:20Yeah.
00:21:21Oh my God.
00:21:21And it looks cool as hell too.
00:21:22Yeah, yeah, yeah.
00:21:23Like Charlie did.
00:21:24Yeah, for that.
00:21:25No.
00:21:26And you shoot it like-
00:21:27Free, free to ask him to work with your strategy.
00:21:29I'll see you in the show.
00:21:32Nobody's going to be more prepared than us.
00:21:34Yes.
00:21:35We might not be any good.
00:21:36Yeah, we don't win.
00:21:37I don't know.
00:21:38We need to do the research.
00:21:39Hey, Pom, you ready, bruh?
00:21:40Brother, brother, to the gates of El Hallo we shall storm.
00:21:46But yeah, no, Indie Excite, two stories of laser tag.
00:21:48It was heaven on earth.
00:21:50Unlimited games.
00:21:52There's a guy there, he was 40 years old.
00:21:53Pony man, he wore a pony t-shirt
00:21:55and he'd like climb up on shit and shoot you.
00:21:58I'm now pony man.
00:21:59I'm an old man playing laser tag in his own game.
00:22:01All right, we've heard from the competitors.
00:22:04Let's get into this second game.
00:22:06Why don't I count it down?
00:22:07Three, two, one, let's freaking do it.
00:22:11That's the siren.
00:22:12That's a telltale sign that the round has begun.
00:22:17This is so scary, oh my God.
00:22:20It looks like they don't even know
00:22:21their match has started.
00:22:21So it seems like the red team
00:22:22will definitely have an advantage
00:22:23because they've just played.
00:22:28They want Frank to guard the base,
00:22:29which is kind of like when you put
00:22:31the big guy in goalie in soccer.
00:22:36Remember that movie, The Big Green?
00:22:37Oh, that's great.
00:22:39And they made the fat kid play goalie in that one.
00:22:43Crazy, the secret to success in that movie
00:22:45was just finding the two or three Mexican dudes.
00:22:51Yeah, I'm not shocked.
00:22:53Our secret weapon, immigrants.
00:22:56And pretending that people are zombies or some shit.
00:22:59Were they Mexican or were they Brazilian?
00:23:01I can't remember.
00:23:02They might have been Spanish.
00:23:04At that time, I don't think we differentiated
00:23:07as a culture.
00:23:07That was Pangea.
00:23:10Gia finally realizing she's not good at this
00:23:13and just ganging up on Frank.
00:23:16Will Gia be in the basement of her team this game?
00:23:19This is the one thing that we are looking at.
00:23:21KFC seems like he's figured it out a bit.
00:23:24KFC-Frank shootout, which has to be something
00:23:29that KFC's fantasized about.
00:23:31He's frustrated with Frank's mezz takes.
00:23:36This is 90s movie quintessential shootout shit.
00:23:40Like a die hard or a lethal weapon type of shootout.
00:23:44Ooh, the red base is under attack.
00:23:51Good God almighty.
00:23:53You can hear the communication coming from the blue team.
00:23:57It's really good communication.
00:23:59They're all just standing there shooting the base.
00:24:02Oh, a clever Vibs standoff.
00:24:05About 200 pounds between them.
00:24:14Would you be upset if Frank the Tank
00:24:15scored more points than you?
00:24:17In laser tag, no.
00:24:21In basketball, yes.
00:24:25Glamour, Vibs, Vibs, Glamour.
00:24:27Glamour's cheating.
00:24:29Glamour and Mr. Morales is cheating.
00:24:31Glamour would just stand sideways.
00:24:33I was thinking exactly that.
00:24:35Why would you ever square up to a gun?
00:24:37Is he using himself as a human shield for Jackie there?
00:24:40That was pretty well-planned.
00:24:41A little bit of white knighting on his part.
00:24:43Blue team getting chased out as KFC's taking position
00:24:46on the Sniper Skyway.
00:24:48If he can set up there, he should be setting himself up
00:24:51for some future success.
00:24:54Frank waddles into position.
00:24:57KFC, looking like he's played a bunch of GoldenEye
00:25:02ducking behind that pillar.
00:25:03And he is ready to go.
00:25:05Nice to see Kevin caring so much about this.
00:25:10Vibs shooting through a portal again.
00:25:14And then Jackie is struck.
00:25:16Disappointed so far by Jackie's performance.
00:25:19Doesn't seem like she has a lot of focus.
00:25:22And I'd like to see more.
00:25:24Doesn't seem like she's scoring a lot of points.
00:25:26There's a lot of running back to base
00:25:27and trying to figure out what's going on.
00:25:29Yeah, she seems like someone whose parents told her
00:25:31as long as you had fun, that's all that matters.
00:25:33Which is not true.
00:25:35No.
00:25:36Freaking trophy generation, you know?
00:25:37Yeah, those are the types of people
00:25:39who make up the middle class.
00:25:45Luckily, she'll be buoyed into the middle class, though.
00:25:48And won't sink to lower class
00:25:50unless she gets into John Rich's stash.
00:25:52Oh, the old middle class stash.
00:25:56That's right.
00:25:57There's lighting up Tommy from behind.
00:26:00Just head-to-head warfare.
00:26:03Not a lot of evasive tactics going on.
00:26:07No.
00:26:09Back to the base for Tommy.
00:26:12Seems like it's hard for people to know
00:26:13whether or not they should focus on the base
00:26:15or focus on shooting other people.
00:26:18It was hard for Meghan Trainor.
00:26:19And there's Gia just sitting down,
00:26:21having the time of her life.
00:26:22Look at the smiles on these children's faces.
00:26:24Tommy gives up after getting tagged 14 times in 90 seconds.
00:26:29I think I'm doing a good job guarding his base.
00:26:32Meanwhile, Frank is back there protecting the blue base
00:26:35in a role that is well-suited for him.
00:26:37Just stay in your turret
00:26:39and light people up as they come by.
00:26:41A little defense never hurt a nobody.
00:26:44In fact, that's how you win championships in laser tag.
00:26:48Oh, a Lee Harvey Oswald call out there.
00:26:52I think that that's a nice historic allusion to make.
00:26:56No, nor accurate, because he's not on a hill
00:26:59and nobody here has any sort of status.
00:27:02Unless he's saying that he actually didn't do it
00:27:04and he's blaming the two CIA agents.
00:27:07Mm, deep cut.
00:27:10Which is what actually happened
00:27:12despite what Arlen Specter said
00:27:15in the fucking Zapruder film.
00:27:17How could a bullet bounce back like that?
00:27:19It just doesn't make any sense.
00:27:21How do you feel, Vibs, you've been compared to Chris Kyle?
00:27:23Oh yeah, he's an American legend.
00:27:26I can only hope to be an American legend.
00:27:27Fuck, he just said to me,
00:27:28don't talk to me over the battlefield!
00:27:30This isn't a game!
00:27:32I hate Vibs.
00:27:33Vibs!
00:27:37Team one is really, I don't mean this any way,
00:27:40having their way, seems like they've been
00:27:42tagging Jackie a lot.
00:27:43Oh, and there they are just going head-to-head,
00:27:45just, that's a little anticlimactic
00:27:49and in some ways, feels sexual.
00:27:51This reminds me of when two young children
00:27:53get together and say, I'll show you yours
00:27:55if you show me mine.
00:27:55There's a little bit of a perverse genital swapping
00:27:58that's going on right now.
00:28:00Move around and run away, please.
00:28:02I know it's too face-to-face.
00:28:05Oh God.
00:28:07Just a bukkake, why don't we all just stand in the middle?
00:28:10Yeah.
00:28:11That's really what it is.
00:28:12Why don't we all just stand dead center
00:28:14and at least Vibs is moving around
00:28:17and I think that's why we saw him
00:28:18as a leading scorer last time.
00:28:19That's why he's gotten so many points this time.
00:28:22Kind of embarrassed smiles on everyone's faces.
00:28:26Like, they shouldn't be enjoying this this much.
00:28:28These are grown adults and this is a work day for them.
00:28:30Dad!
00:28:31Dad!
00:28:33Look at those people laughing out loud.
00:28:34This is an embarrassed smile onto your spokes face.
00:28:35Meanwhile, Frank is giving up on playing defense
00:28:37and he's making a move to the red base.
00:28:39Will this be a turning point for them?
00:28:41Can he create enough offense
00:28:43or should he have manned the attack?
00:28:46She and John Rich attack the defenseless base
00:28:49because Frank has vacated.
00:28:54And there's a way that, you know,
00:28:55Jackie could continue to defend the base
00:28:57but she has moved on.
00:28:59It's almost like when little kids are playing soccer
00:29:01and they don't know that they're supposed to play defense.
00:29:04They just chase the ball.
00:29:05Chase the ball, it gets stuck against someone's foot
00:29:08and they start kicking it but it doesn't go anywhere.
00:29:10Frank launching an attack on the red base.
00:29:13Will it be fruitful for him?
00:29:17The skinnier Frank gets, the shorter he gets.
00:29:20I've noticed that.
00:29:22When someone's really big,
00:29:23you don't realize if they're short or not.
00:29:24Now he's thin.
00:29:27He's just a little guy.
00:29:28Right.
00:29:29He's just kind of a little guy, man.
00:29:30I'm at a point where I think he needs to put on some weight.
00:29:34Yep, you and me are on the same page, brother.
00:29:36We have to shield each other and go for the base.
00:29:38All right, we need somebody to stay back.
00:29:40Frank's just standing in front of me.
00:29:43Oh, so now everybody is pointing
00:29:47at each other on the blue team.
00:29:48Say, we need Frank to do this, we need Frank to do that.
00:29:51Frank does what the fuck he wants
00:29:53with the enablement of Mikey Betts and Jenks.
00:29:56Okay, I think I already found the base.
00:29:58Did it go off?
00:29:59Did you hit it two times and make a noise?
00:30:00Yeah, but it made like a bad noise.
00:30:02Then you didn't get it.
00:30:03You only got it twice.
00:30:04Okay, okay.
00:30:05Ready? I'm gonna shoot you, ready?
00:30:07Bad posture by Clemmer.
00:30:08I didn't like it.
00:30:09You cunt bitch.
00:30:10Clemmer really taking on the human shield role,
00:30:13it seems, in order to spring Jackie free to another spot.
00:30:19And there's Tommy Smokes, a soldier, soldier, a man's man.
00:30:25Running away with his arms flopping.
00:30:30There goes Gia to attack the defenseless blue base.
00:30:33And running up the score is Gia.
00:30:35That's a destruction of the base.
00:30:38Well done, Gia, flexing too.
00:30:40Red team is actually developing some strategy,
00:30:43as you can tell.
00:30:43The fact that they're destroying the bases,
00:30:45but they're also shooting people.
00:30:52And at least Keegs is moving through.
00:30:55I've seen enough of these tip-to-tip battles.
00:30:58There's another tip-to-tip battle.
00:31:01And we turn around, there's another tip-to-tip battle.
00:31:03Someone keeps yelling dead every time they shoot someone.
00:31:06That would drive me crazy.
00:31:08It's Vibs.
00:31:09Vibs' chaos proving to be very successful.
00:31:12Everyone seems absolutely exhausted.
00:31:14No giddy-up-and-go for these teams,
00:31:16as in the first match,
00:31:17we saw people on the balls of their feet,
00:31:19and now people are dragging by the balls.
00:31:21Yeah, well, for the red team,
00:31:23this is their second game in a row.
00:31:25None of these people, other than Vibs, really,
00:31:26are probably in very good shape.
00:31:29That has to be true.
00:31:31No, no, that has to be true.
00:31:32Well, maybe Gia.
00:31:34Frank's on my tail!
00:31:36And on the other team, I mean, the blue team,
00:31:38a complete vacuum of athleticism.
00:31:42And I can say that because I'm a bad athlete myself.
00:31:46That's not true.
00:31:48And it takes one to know one.
00:31:49I don't think that's true.
00:31:50Well, comparatively, I'm probably an Olympian,
00:31:53but in the spectrum of the real world,
00:31:59not a good athlete.
00:32:00But at Barstool Sports, I might be able to go pro.
00:32:06Oh!
00:32:09Jackie's attempting to make a move
00:32:11against the entire red team.
00:32:13Wow, she's running around, freewheeling,
00:32:16shooting indiscriminately.
00:32:19Kevin, why are you so good at this?
00:32:23KFC in the all black.
00:32:24And was this a strategic move,
00:32:26or does he use the all black in the same way I do
00:32:28to kind of cover up the titties?
00:32:30I'm sick of beating you, Jackie.
00:32:31I'm sick of shooting you.
00:32:32Dude, I'm so bad at this.
00:32:35Jackie admits that she's bad at it,
00:32:37and she gets shot directly by Gia.
00:32:43And there goes Clemmer down again.
00:32:44The blue team, it's an absolute massacre, it seems.
00:32:47The blue team has nothing to bring to the table.
00:32:50Are they even in the same stratosphere?
00:32:53Trying to scare the daylights out of me.
00:32:55And the daylights have just been scared out of Gia.
00:32:58What an outdated phrase that is.
00:33:00Are those feet up on that box?
00:33:03I think those were feet.
00:33:06Someone being hanged?
00:33:07Someone trying to kick out a block?
00:33:11This isn't the time or the place to hang yourself.
00:33:13Is that a weird decorative abstraction
00:33:17from the laser tag people?
00:33:18Or is Chris Castellani there?
00:33:30And that's the end of the round right there.
00:33:33I mean, I think we might've won
00:33:34just how many times we took that.
00:33:36I'll tell you right now,
00:33:3730 minutes of laser tag is not as hard as we thought it would be in four years.
00:33:40I might go out like that.
00:33:42This has made me respect people in the army.
00:33:44This is good.
00:33:47If we were in war, I would have just killed all of you.
00:33:50But yeah, there's no cameraman, my own teammates,
00:33:52everybody could get it.
00:33:54Interesting stuff from the red team and the blue team.
00:33:57Let's tally up the scores.
00:33:58And just as we predicted, an absolute massacre.
00:34:02The blue team with 36,802 points.
00:34:05The red team with 64,801 points.
00:34:09They've almost doubled up their opponents.
00:34:11Yeah, I thought about that.
00:34:14And the red team has three players.
00:34:16They did not more than double.
00:34:18I'm sorry, I was going to let you get away with it.
00:34:19You're so nice. That's embarrassing, Matt.
00:34:22No, don't worry about it.
00:34:23It's hard to keep up in these dark times.
00:34:28Now, double would have been 73,604.
00:34:32See, Francis is back.
00:34:34I had to do it to prove that I can.
00:34:36He can math, he can add,
00:34:38and the blue team could have added
00:34:40a couple more scorers to their team
00:34:43if they wanted to even be in the same stratosphere.
00:34:46Three players on the red team that outscored the blue team.
00:34:49Let's go down to these interviews
00:34:51to hear what they have to say.
00:34:55All right, second-best player on my team.
00:34:59That's all that matters, baby.
00:35:00Second-best player on my team.
00:35:04That is the most Tommy moment of all time.
00:35:06Team didn't do well, I did okay.
00:35:08Not even he did the best.
00:35:09I did okay, so it's a win.
00:35:11Smo-to.
00:35:13Smo-to.
00:35:15Bro, did we just go down to compare, like,
00:35:17the best laser tag team in the country?
00:35:21Oh, we got Tom, 36?
00:35:22What's Tom?
00:35:23Wait, 63 to 26?
00:35:2536.
00:35:26The other team got 41 or something.
00:35:27We lost, like, 60, 30?
00:35:29We got to come up big in the next game.
00:35:31You know what it is?
00:35:31Vince is, yeah.
00:35:32Vince is a machine.
00:35:34Vince is terrifying.
00:35:35Vince should have been a sniper.
00:35:37Vince should not be doing,
00:35:38or Vince is a great guy, like,
00:35:40Vince should have been a fucking sniper.
00:35:42You know what it is?
00:35:43I'll tell you what happened.
00:35:45We were vicious.
00:35:46I'm the second-best scorer on the team.
00:35:47I'm the second-best scorer on the team.
00:35:48Interesting stuff.
00:35:50It looks like we will launch into game three
00:35:52of this round-robin tournament,
00:35:54and as we are coming into the last game,
00:35:57team two and team three are separated
00:36:00by a mere 6,000 points,
00:36:02with team two at 42,000 and change,
00:36:05and team three at 36,802.
00:36:09So it's going to be a tight one.
00:36:11It's going to be a close one.
00:36:14Team three will have to win by over 6,000 points
00:36:16in order to advance to the championship.
00:36:19This is very much in the balance
00:36:21going into this last game.
00:36:23We'll see if team two can knock off some of the rust.
00:36:27Yeah, you know, 6,000 points is really not that much
00:36:30to make up, as we've seen.
00:36:31We've seen bigger margins of victory, certainly,
00:36:36and a big performance from someone like,
00:36:40I don't know, Kareem or maybe Robbie Fox
00:36:43could tilt the balance in the favor.
00:36:46Let's go down and see what their thoughts are
00:36:48before this match kicks off.
00:36:51I'm feeling like an easy W right now.
00:36:54Way better.
00:36:55And he had a good rest.
00:36:57Could be the best.
00:36:58But that mess is really solid.
00:36:59Kareem's good.
00:37:00Kareem?
00:37:01What about Tommy?
00:37:03Tommy, I don't know.
00:37:05He must be sneaky.
00:37:06I'll say this.
00:37:06You're going to shoot Tommy at some point
00:37:08and he's going to do something really funny.
00:37:09And then he's going to do a somersault.
00:37:11Like you're going to shoot him
00:37:11and Tommy's like natural reaction to the victory.
00:37:13No, literally.
00:37:14Yeah, I'm getting pumped up.
00:37:15I'm getting pumped up.
00:37:16That means I got shot here.
00:37:17Yeah.
00:37:18Or here.
00:37:18Or here.
00:37:19Or here.
00:37:20Yeah.
00:37:22Pump up music.
00:37:23Let's make sure we can hear each other a little bit.
00:37:24Tommy, I need to hear.
00:37:25Bodies.
00:37:27Bodies hit the floor?
00:37:27Let the bodies hit the floor?
00:37:28Yeah, that's a good one.
00:37:30War Machine.
00:37:31Kill them all by Metallica.
00:37:33Interesting stuff from the folks down there.
00:37:36But hey, this isn't settled by talking
00:37:38and it's not settled up here in the booth.
00:37:41This is settled in the arena.
00:37:43So let's get down and see who's going to mark their spot
00:37:46in the final against team one.
00:37:49Let's play some laser tag.
00:37:52Is that it?
00:37:53There's that familiar siren and off we go.
00:37:55Game start in one second.
00:37:57Game has begun.
00:37:59Where's Tommy?
00:37:59Oh shit.
00:38:00Oh my God.
00:38:01It already, it's already on us.
00:38:02Jesus Christ.
00:38:04Yeah, got your ass, you fucking bitch.
00:38:06Ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha.
00:38:11Oh, bitch.
00:38:12I'm sorry about you, Ainsley.
00:38:13Oh shit, oh shit.
00:38:15There goes Tommy making a move to the red base
00:38:17as he's chased by 18.
00:38:18Molly and Caroline.
00:38:20Now, one of the things we've learned
00:38:21from the past couple of games
00:38:23is that the base strategy is hard
00:38:25because nobody truly knows when the bases are hit.
00:38:31It's really hard to follow a little bit.
00:38:32Luckily we are here as your anchors in the booth
00:38:35as fights and Tommy square off in ambush alley.
00:38:39How are you two of age?
00:38:40I think we both got it.
00:38:41If these boys just kissed,
00:38:42I think it would be less sexual.
00:38:44It reminds me of those Russian videos
00:38:46that sometimes pop up on my screen
00:38:47where two men are placed into a literal phone booth
00:38:51and given license to beat
00:38:51the absolute piss out of each other.
00:38:53Ooh, and look at this, an interesting gaffe by Clemmer.
00:38:56You need to have two hands on the blaster for it to shoot.
00:38:59He's going up like he's damn John Wick.
00:39:05Got it.
00:39:08Yeah.
00:39:09Tommy defending himself.
00:39:11And the blue base all alone.
00:39:13General Custer.
00:39:15Yes, his last stand.
00:39:18Tommy's guarding the base.
00:39:19Tommy's the little bitch boy.
00:39:20This is something I have to know.
00:39:21Robby's trying to sneak up on the blue base,
00:39:23but Frank will not let that happen
00:39:24as Frank goes back into his defensive stance.
00:39:29Frank's patented giggle.
00:39:37Fights, picking people off.
00:39:42Ow, ow, that's my team.
00:39:44They're just, ow.
00:39:45Oh, Kareem talking a gamer talk and my skin is crawling.
00:39:50So awkward.
00:39:52Next thing you know, he'll be talking to the chat.
00:39:57Robby attacks an unprotected blue base.
00:40:02The fuck was that?
00:40:03Just hit me with a womp womp.
00:40:08Look at these idiots, they're not even guarding the base.
00:40:10Robby destroys the blue base.
00:40:14Pretty bad form from the blue team,
00:40:16just not even trying to defend it.
00:40:19Clemmer making himself big, which is impossible for him.
00:40:23Yeah, praying mantis type of technique.
00:40:27And he's looking to bite the head off of
00:40:29the person he's going into combat with.
00:40:37Watching Clemmer walk reminds me of a woman
00:40:40walking in stilettos across a soft wooden floor.
00:40:43Yes.
00:40:44It almost surprises me that he doesn't sink into the ground.
00:40:47Yeah, it's like wearing high heels to the beach
00:40:49every time that he walks.
00:40:51Flamingo.
00:40:54A flamingo doing a flamenco.
00:40:59Okay, I respect Ainsley's technique of running around,
00:41:02kind of getting behind, except it's face-to-face combat.
00:41:05I have had enough of it.
00:41:07There's Tommy going after the base.
00:41:09Ken Jack strikes him.
00:41:11Tommy hitting Ken Jack back.
00:41:13Ken Jack.
00:41:15Getting ganged up on.
00:41:16Ganged up on.
00:41:18But has Jackie scored at all?
00:41:19I'm truly curious if Jackie has scored at all.
00:41:22She kind of just will shoot once
00:41:24and kind of get out of there.
00:41:25You can shoot multiple times.
00:41:34Good team building though.
00:41:35It seems like this is good team building.
00:41:36The ropes course must have been closed this day.
00:41:39Ken Jack, Clemmer, Clemmer, Ken Jack.
00:41:44Ken Jack, Clemmer, Clemmer, Ken Jack.
00:41:48Ken Jack.
00:41:49Tommy, Tommy, Ken Jack, Clemmer, Clemmer, Ken Jack,
00:41:52Tommy, Tommy.
00:41:53Ken Jack, Clemmer.
00:41:55Clemmer, Ken Jack.
00:41:57Interesting defense by Clemmer.
00:41:59Is it working?
00:42:01Doesn't seem like it.
00:42:02Doesn't seem like it at all.
00:42:03The red team looks like they have a good defense.
00:42:05Doesn't seem like it.
00:42:06Doesn't seem like it at all.
00:42:07The red team looks like they have a bit of a lead.
00:42:13But they can't know.
00:42:14They just have to be active the entire time.
00:42:16Can the blue team do enough to overcome the red team here?
00:42:21I like this strategy that Tommy and Clemmer have developed
00:42:24where Clemmer will guard Tommy while he takes on the base.
00:42:29It actually proves a little bit of metal
00:42:32to the game that Clemmer is playing,
00:42:39that he wasn't just white-knighting for Jackie earlier.
00:42:44He's white-knighting for everyone.
00:42:46He's a true white knight at his core.
00:42:53Just had the thought,
00:42:54if you went to an incredibly wealthy party somewhere
00:42:57and they wheeled out Clemmer covered in sushi,
00:43:01would you eat it?
00:43:03It would probably fall between the cracks.
00:43:05The sushi could scarcely perch on his leg bones.
00:43:09I think you're right.
00:43:11There's fight seeking back to the unprotected blue base.
00:43:13Let's see if this can be, ooh, very stealthy of him.
00:43:16Would I eat the sushi?
00:43:17Yes, but it would have to be laid out.
00:43:19It wouldn't be wrapped.
00:43:20It would just have to be thin slices of fish laid out.
00:43:23Exactly.
00:43:24I'm talking some bluefin toro in between each rib.
00:43:28Yeah.
00:43:29Some sushi across his face.
00:43:31He'd look like a little hello, Clarice sack.
00:43:37The thin slices, of course.
00:43:38So makase.
00:43:40One slice at a time.
00:43:42We'll wheel him out, bring him back in.
00:43:45There he is again.
00:43:46What is this?
00:43:47What is this?
00:43:52Robbie, you underestimate the powers of the dark side.
00:43:59Ah, you dirty dog.
00:44:00Franked out for blood.
00:44:02There goes Frank the tank.
00:44:05Who's sprinting down there?
00:44:08Dude, every time, Jack,
00:44:10it looks like she got hit with a real bullet every time.
00:44:14Fireburger.
00:44:14Looking absolutely jacked.
00:44:16I mean, at what point will there be no more clothes
00:44:21for him to wear?
00:44:22Yeah, and I don't see him posting personal trainer videos,
00:44:26but you think that you have to think
00:44:27there's one in the picture.
00:44:29If he's doing that on his own,
00:44:30I want to know his macros.
00:44:32Agreed.
00:44:33If he's doing this on his own,
00:44:34I need to know his splits.
00:44:36I need to know if he's free weights,
00:44:40Smith machines combination.
00:44:42If he's paying for a gym membership,
00:44:44he has to be, he has to be.
00:44:47Meanwhile, at the red base.
00:44:51As you can see, a little more defense here from the reds.
00:44:55Chris Clemmer, not afraid to mix it up.
00:44:58Playing a little defense on his own.
00:45:00But will that translate to points?
00:45:04And Jack, seems like he's racking up a bunch of points
00:45:06on his own.
00:45:08And Clemmer keeps on taking a hand off the gun.
00:45:10That will prove to be fewer points on his part.
00:45:14He thinks that he's some kind of damned cowboy.
00:45:16Thinks he's Wyatt Earp.
00:45:20Jackie, one shot misses, one shot misses,
00:45:22and then gets shot and has to run back to her base.
00:45:24She cannot be scoring any points.
00:45:26I am damn sure of it.
00:45:27She's probably racked up more steps than points.
00:45:29Fights and Caroline have been standing under the base,
00:45:33taking pot shots at it for the better part of five minutes.
00:45:41Game over.
00:45:42Oh, and I felt like we had just begun.
00:45:46And then suddenly the game is over.
00:45:49Seems like everything is finished.
00:45:51Let's go ahead and rack up the scores.
00:45:54And it seems like the red team beats the blue team,
00:45:59but was it by enough?
00:46:02And yes, it was.
00:46:03Because they just had to win.
00:46:06Their team three would have had to win by 6,000 points.
00:46:08But meanwhile, team two wins by almost 6,000
00:46:12of their own points as it's 29,951 to 24,151.
00:46:18Kareem, the high scorer on the blue team.
00:46:20But I mean, just a pitiful low-scoring match
00:46:22across the board.
00:46:23Yeah, it's a difference of, I believe,
00:46:255,800 points right on the nose.
00:46:29I think that Jackie wound up with 1,500 points,
00:46:33which, let's not mince words, that's embarrassing.
00:46:38She might as well not have even been there.
00:46:40Honestly, I think-
00:46:41Why did she go?
00:46:42Why wasn't she at the office doing her actual job?
00:46:45There's probably a video that's unedited somewhere.
00:46:48Yeah.
00:46:49You know, Vibs, meanwhile, could have scored that
00:46:52in about two seconds if he were playing.
00:46:54Exactly.
00:46:55She could have just sat still the entire time
00:46:58and just closed her eyes and waved the gun around.
00:47:01And I wouldn't be surprised if it scored
00:47:03more than 1,500 points.
00:47:05But low-scoring across the board.
00:47:06Ken Jack leads the red team to a victory.
00:47:09Let's get down to see what the teams had to say
00:47:13in some post-match interviews.
00:47:15We destroyed them.
00:47:17We hit Tommy 100 times, hit Frank 100 times,
00:47:19hit Jackie.
00:47:20I felt much better about that one.
00:47:21I think we destroyed them.
00:47:22I mean, we just stood at their base
00:47:24and shot it a million times.
00:47:26No one was there.
00:47:27I don't know how the scoring works,
00:47:28but I would be pretty shocked if it wasn't a bloodbath.
00:47:31Although, I thought that last time-
00:47:32Last time, I thought the CIA was gonna be waiting out there
00:47:34and be like, sir, your country needs you.
00:47:36You know, our team sucks.
00:47:38Not on me.
00:47:39Second-highest score on the team both games.
00:47:41Second-highest accurate percentage in the first game.
00:47:43Highest accurate percentage in the second game.
00:47:46I can only do so much.
00:47:47I just saw this from behind.
00:47:49I didn't see the cameraman.
00:47:51I thought you were telling a kid this.
00:47:52I thought Tommy just cornered a kid in New York
00:47:54and was like, I'm the second-highest.
00:47:56That is sick.
00:47:57You should've seen it.
00:48:00I just think we were outgunned.
00:48:01We got the John Rambo bibs over there.
00:48:06Who knows what's gonna happen in the final,
00:48:07but the bibs is gonna win, probably.
00:48:11But my team sucks.
00:48:13Clemmer, he did all this research
00:48:14and he's maybe the worst laser tag player ever.
00:48:17I'm having a devastating day.
00:48:18So laser tag team, I do terrible.
00:48:20You know, I woke up today feeling good, sunshine,
00:48:23had a nice walk on the water,
00:48:25playing music, singing, having a good old time.
00:48:27Get here, all falls apart.
00:48:29It's all right.
00:48:30You know what you do?
00:48:31You know why you fall?
00:48:33So you pick yourself back up.
00:48:34The same way that John thought that he was gonna come out
00:48:38and be recruited by the CIA,
00:48:39I was like, I'm for sure not getting drafted.
00:48:42I knew when I was in there how bad I was doing.
00:48:44I like could never shoot.
00:48:45I don't know what happened.
00:48:46It just, it really fell apart the second,
00:48:49the second it started for me.
00:48:52And here it is, the championship match,
00:48:55team one versus team two,
00:48:57a rematch of our very first matchup.
00:49:00And while we were working in the aggregate before,
00:49:03everybody's slates have been wiped clean.
00:49:05What happens here determines who goes home
00:49:09with the $15,000 prize of who is winning.
00:49:15Are you shocked to hear that?
00:49:16Is that really the amount of money?
00:49:18$15,000.
00:49:19As if the fake job that people have here is not enough.
00:49:23The winning team gets 15,000 each.
00:49:26So that's-
00:49:27Where were we?
00:49:28Why were we not there?
00:49:29$75,000 in prizes on the line right now.
00:49:33It's gonna be team one versus team two.
00:49:37And let's see if the red team
00:49:39can repeat their victory before,
00:49:42or if the blue team can build on the momentum
00:49:44of their win in the last match.
00:49:47Let's go down to some pregame championship interviews.
00:49:53Bro, I'm locked in right now.
00:49:55Can't tap me like that.
00:49:57What are you listening to, Chris?
00:49:59Bodies.
00:50:01Zoned in.
00:50:02Guarantee a championship.
00:50:04I think it's-
00:50:06Fibs.
00:50:07Fibs is an issue.
00:50:08He loves this issue.
00:50:09I don't know if he's cheating.
00:50:10I don't know if he's-
00:50:11Well, that's-
00:50:12I think we're kind of dead in the water already
00:50:15because I think they found something out
00:50:17about the red color.
00:50:18Because they were very stern and very real
00:50:20that they will not play if they have to be blue.
00:50:22The red team is whatever now.
00:50:25They were like-
00:50:26I will not-
00:50:27It was very serious.
00:50:28I will not play.
00:50:29Even though we already had them on.
00:50:31Wearing the reds, it would make us take them off.
00:50:32So I think there's something going on there.
00:50:34But even if there is,
00:50:36I'm here to kick ass.
00:50:37Okay, so the plan?
00:50:40Exactly.
00:50:41Do the same thing we've been doing.
00:50:42Watch out for him.
00:50:42Yeah.
00:50:43She gets to-
00:50:44Leave it alone.
00:50:45Get out of there.
00:50:46Yeah, yeah.
00:50:47Just shut up.
00:50:47Watch out for her.
00:50:48Don?
00:50:49Don's pretty good with the shot.
00:50:50If they're headhunting, I might-
00:50:52Yeah, you know what?
00:50:52We're not.
00:50:53That happens to me.
00:50:54It seems as if the blue team
00:50:57thinks that there's some skulldudgery going on.
00:51:00I guess team three thinks that there's a little bit of-
00:51:04Playfulness afoot in that maybe the red team
00:51:08has a weighted gun vest?
00:51:12I don't know what the situation is here.
00:51:14The red equipment may be a little bit more effective
00:51:18than the blue gear.
00:51:19Let's see if that's actually the case
00:51:20because the red team has been winning a bunch.
00:51:22Meanwhile, Vibs has guaranteed a victory before this match.
00:51:26Tall words, but I think he's earned the right
00:51:29to have such a big mouth.
00:51:30Vibs, the leading scorer after the first two games
00:51:33that he played, we're going to need to see Yeoman's work
00:51:37from the blue team.
00:51:38Absolute Yeoman's work is on the docket
00:51:41if the blue team, AKA team three,
00:51:44will be able to take care of business.
00:51:46Enough yapping.
00:51:47Let's get to zapping.
00:51:49The blue team is about to head off to a booze peg.
00:51:52Boo!
00:51:55I'm thinking we have to go like man on man.
00:51:58Man on man.
00:51:58Man on man type of game.
00:52:00I'd say woman on woman, but-
00:52:02Oh, they're running.
00:52:07Golly, golly.
00:52:16I've got a fucking gas stop now.
00:52:18I'm going to go punch someone in the face.
00:52:19They're shitting their pants.
00:52:24And the game begins.
00:52:26Wow, there's definitely much more hype here for the final
00:52:29than in any other match we've seen so far.
00:52:31Well, $75,000 is on the line.
00:52:33They can smell that 83 grand, and it is absolutely close.
00:52:39And that's post-tax.
00:52:41It's amazing how these games all start out
00:52:43with so much careful maneuvering,
00:52:48and then within short order,
00:52:50it devolves into an absolute bumble-bop.
00:52:53That's that red, that's that fucking red bullshit!
00:52:57I just shot John in the head and fucking got him.
00:52:59King Ghidorah, was it?
00:53:00King Ghidorah!
00:53:01Oh, I got him!
00:53:03Kenjack's behind the wall.
00:53:05Snipes John Rich down ambush alley.
00:53:08Kenjack is really good.
00:53:09Yeah, I know.
00:53:10He's pissing me off.
00:53:11Kenjack is very good.
00:53:13Red team's watching the first attack.
00:53:19Kenjack was the leading scorer in his last game,
00:53:21which was a win.
00:53:23He's a good guy.
00:53:24He's a good guy.
00:53:25Seems like he figured something out after the first game,
00:53:28where he was the fourth leading scorer on his team.
00:53:31Caroline Ainsley working together.
00:53:33The blue team seems like they have strategy anew.
00:53:36Ainsley is fearless, I have to say credit to her.
00:53:39And in that tennis skirt, I have the feeling
00:53:41she would make for an excellent ball girl at the US Open.
00:53:45Yes, and you have to be fearless.
00:53:46She tends to scurry low and quick.
00:53:49And those players get ornery if you scurry too high.
00:53:52And there goes Caroline,
00:53:52racking up points from behind KFC.
00:53:54Meanwhile, at the red base,
00:53:55Bibb's taking care of business.
00:54:00Robbie's coming.
00:54:01That sound must be a soothing, familiar sound
00:54:05to Robbie Fox, a Star Wars acolyte.
00:54:08Bibb's just like curved a bullet like wanted.
00:54:11KFC, Vice, or Kenjack, do they even see each other
00:54:14around the corner from one another?
00:54:18And there's Kenjack peeking around the corner.
00:54:20He sees Kevin, knows exactly where he is,
00:54:22but he's trying to-
00:54:23but he's hiding behind Chris Clemmer.
00:54:24No, that's a pull.
00:54:30Caroline shooting, ducking, shooting, ducking,
00:54:34shooting again.
00:54:35There goes KFC off into the night.
00:54:37He walks in on to four blue team players.
00:54:41Ooh, that's gotta be tough.
00:54:42That's like returning home to find a gang bang
00:54:44in your own apartment.
00:54:45Not that I'd know.
00:54:48You live in a house.
00:54:51Robbie snipes Bibb's from across the mat.
00:54:54Ainsley and Caroline attack the red base.
00:55:00Caroline Bibb's, he's a block canal of gun violence.
00:55:08Bibb's racking up points.
00:55:14Ow!
00:55:16I haven't even seen John Rich.
00:55:17He's a stupid-
00:55:18He's right down this hallway.
00:55:19He's right down this hallway.
00:55:20Look out.
00:55:22Well, the third time we're seeing the grenade from-
00:55:25I like that move from Bob Fox.
00:55:26Great move, great move.
00:55:27You have to run that one back a couple of times.
00:55:29Sort of his signature at this point.
00:55:30And it's nice to have a signature move.
00:55:32He's getting low.
00:55:34Oh yeah.
00:55:37Walked right into it.
00:55:39John Rich.
00:55:40Gia running over to assist.
00:55:44Caroline, Gia, Gia, Caroline.
00:55:46I've seen them in TikToks together,
00:55:47but now they're on the other side of the coin
00:55:49fighting one another.
00:55:51The heads and the tails of it all.
00:55:52And she's out.
00:55:53Clears in, clears out.
00:55:54Sort of reminds me of her work day.
00:55:58That's true.
00:55:59That's true, no one really works that hard
00:56:00if there's nothing.
00:56:02And there's Ken Jack behind KFC.
00:56:04But did he get shot at?
00:56:06I don't know, but he does seem to have a unique ability
00:56:09to appear out of nowhere and then sneak right back
00:56:12behind a pillar.
00:56:14Dammit, Bibb, I swear to God.
00:56:16No one really been able to attack a base so far,
00:56:19as far as I can tell.
00:56:21Much more defense being played against the bases.
00:56:25Sound legwork from Bibbs.
00:56:28Caroline around the corner.
00:56:31And it seems like the blue team was wrong
00:56:34about the defective equipment
00:56:35because they have been scoring a bunch of points.
00:56:38Weiss gets into it with Keegs a little bit,
00:56:41but the blue team is holding their own at least.
00:56:44It should be a pretty even match so far.
00:56:45Pace has really picked up.
00:56:47These people are really into it now.
00:56:48Everyone can sense the clock winding down.
00:56:52Bibb's hopping around, and it seems as if
00:56:55there's $110,000 on the line.
00:56:57You're gonna play a little bit harder.
00:56:58It just keeps growing and growing,
00:57:00and nobody actually knows what the limit is.
00:57:02It's much like that movie, Squid Game.
00:57:04It's like Squid Game, she is attacking the blue base.
00:57:06But shout out to Dave Portnoy for putting up all this money,
00:57:09and I wonder how the people will get paid
00:57:12the money afterwards.
00:57:13We're going to escrow, there's a tax freeze,
00:57:16lump sums of cash will go into your paycheck.
00:57:19Are you getting it in an annuity?
00:57:21Or will it be like that Jackie Moon thing
00:57:24where he had the giant paper paycheck
00:57:27that didn't actually represent any real money?
00:57:29It might just be big checks.
00:57:30And you'll never see a dime of it.
00:57:33Big checks.
00:57:34Speaking of, KFC's got his Nikes moving
00:57:37as he sprints across the room,
00:57:38but there's Gia racking up a couple more shots.
00:57:41Gia to Bob Fox, Bob Fox to Gia.
00:57:44Screamed epithets, Gia, KFC, destroy the blue base!
00:57:49Oh!
00:57:53So maybe the red team is taking a little bit of a lead.
00:57:55Blue team is launching a full attack now.
00:57:57It's all or nothing.
00:57:58It's time to just run in and scream.
00:58:01That sounds strategy.
00:58:02They need to rack up points right now.
00:58:04If they're going to get a taste of this 130K.
00:58:07Keep seeing those feet up there.
00:58:08I guess that person is alive.
00:58:11Well, because their feet have moved.
00:58:13Unless the wind is just shaking the corpse.
00:58:15Like, you know that hidden scene in The Wizard of Oz
00:58:18where they purport that a little person
00:58:21has done themselves in?
00:58:24Yes, I do remember hearing about that.
00:58:26Fight seems gas over here,
00:58:28but Robbie's giving him some cover.
00:58:32KFC bragging that he's not tired, but fight is.
00:58:34Maybe KFC is the true athlete of KFC radio.
00:58:43Fight's bibs, Bob Fox, all exchanging some gunfire.
00:58:48Fight's with a proud chest.
00:58:49This is where the bench pressing is not helping him.
00:58:51He's making a bigger target.
00:58:55Is that Fight's again?
00:58:56Is he getting throw up?
00:58:57Fight's doubled over.
00:58:59This man needs to throw up.
00:59:00I guess they are moving a lot.
00:59:02Everyone's sweating pretty profusely.
00:59:04You can see it through their shirts.
00:59:06Yes, they are perspiring.
00:59:09Oh, that's a cool view.
00:59:10What was that view?
00:59:12It's like when you find out
00:59:14the fourth quarter of an NFL game
00:59:15that they had a SkyCam the entire time.
00:59:17When you find out that the Airbnb you've been renting
00:59:19has had a shower camera.
00:59:22Check the lamps and tape over the people in the door, folks.
00:59:26There's perverts out there.
00:59:28John Rich and Fight's.
00:59:32Isn't it a shame that Jake Marsh is leaving Barstool
00:59:35and that we're left to be the commentary?
00:59:37Sure is.
00:59:38We're left to be the color commentators?
00:59:40Makes you appreciate him.
00:59:41I did see him on the sidelines of a PLL game recently.
00:59:44Yes, wow.
00:59:46I saw him.
00:59:47I heard he's gonna be doing BBL this summer, too.
00:59:49Wow, good for him.
00:59:51That should move the needle.
00:59:53British Basketball League.
00:59:54Minds out of the gutter.
00:59:55Ah.
01:00:03Oh, there's a second win from Fight's.
01:00:06Gian Fight's.
01:00:07Look at his teeth shining in the black light.
01:00:09Beautiful teeth on a man who's patched his mouth
01:00:11and forced his back open.
01:00:13I'm gonna kill you.
01:00:14I will kill you.
01:00:15That's right.
01:00:16Paul Skeem's on the ball team.
01:00:19And it's no small thing.
01:00:23Ooh, he's with the middle finger
01:00:26and Chia can't get enough of it.
01:00:29Keegs versus Robbie in Ambush Alley.
01:00:32And this is the kind of gunplay that you live for
01:00:35if you're a lifelong watcher of laser tag.
01:00:46Oh, 360 by Robbie Fox.
01:00:48This guy's got the moves.
01:00:50He's got the moves.
01:00:51He's got blue team.
01:00:53Blue team is up 2,000 points with only a few minutes to go.
01:00:57Oh, wow, we're setting ourselves up
01:00:58for an upset right here.
01:01:01Interesting stuff.
01:01:01The red team's gonna need to turn it up
01:01:03to see if they can really take care of business.
01:01:05But Ken Jack is proving his worth.
01:01:07Where is Bibbs when you need him?
01:01:09Bibbs is guaranteed to win.
01:01:11Now he's running all over the place,
01:01:12but he gets shot from a sniper's perch.
01:01:19If you're the blue team now,
01:01:20if you continue to rack up points,
01:01:21you go into defense with just a couple minutes left.
01:01:24Oh, I think you gotta keep pressing.
01:01:26Everybody knows that once you start packing it back in,
01:01:29that's when you open yourself up to counterattacks.
01:01:31That's right, the counterattacks will get you killed.
01:01:33And that's literally, not just in the game of laser tag,
01:01:36you will literally die.
01:01:41I know I said that last time,
01:01:43but this time I'm the best.
01:01:46They have to be winded, they have to be gassed,
01:01:48but this is where you empty out the tank.
01:01:50If you love laser tag like I do,
01:01:52you know that they are dying to get this 250K.
01:01:56KFC's claiming that Ken Jack's pack is not on.
01:02:01That would be a good usage, but.
01:02:03Technological doping there.
01:02:04At the same time though, KFC's part of the team one
01:02:07that was desperate to get these red packs.
01:02:10So if there's any technological foibles going on,
01:02:15it's only their own fault.
01:02:17Red sends their whole team to go and attack the blue.
01:02:20This seems to be their last ditch effort.
01:02:21Can they play any defense over on the blue squad,
01:02:23or will it be a red wave?
01:02:26Rowan, aren't you surprised that there's been really
01:02:28no shooting of bases in this game?
01:02:31Yeah, it really has been a base-light game.
01:02:35Kind of like a men's choir of all eunuchs.
01:02:38Mm, baseless indeed.
01:02:42What the fuck?
01:02:45Only half of Ken Jack's pack is working.
01:02:50Literally half your pack isn't working.
01:02:52Look at that, half his lights are on.
01:02:53Get that on camera.
01:02:55What the fuck?
01:02:55Get that on camera.
01:02:57Double kill.
01:02:58Out of battery, they're saying that Ken Jack
01:02:59might be out of battery.
01:03:00Ken Jack and Ainsley racking up some late-minute points.
01:03:04Ken Jack and Ainsley have really been
01:03:05carrying this team so far.
01:03:09Kelly Keeg's trying to do her best
01:03:10to bring the red team back into it.
01:03:13Robbie's attacking a defensive red base.
01:03:14It seems like he's gonna be
01:03:16racking up some points right now.
01:03:17The base is open after all this time.
01:03:21I believe this is the first attack we've seen on a base.
01:03:25And it seems like Robbie Fox has destroyed the red base.
01:03:28That's a lot of points right there for Robbie Fox.
01:03:30Came into their house, took a dump, nobody knows.
01:03:33And it seems like their decision to stay on the offensives
01:03:36has really been fruitful.
01:03:37Meanwhile, Ken Jack has the right posture and formation
01:03:41that he can get shots off and not get hit.
01:03:44Yeah, I mean, this is as exciting as it gets.
01:03:46I'm on the front of my seat.
01:03:48I'm on the front of your seat too.
01:03:52Oh, a couple jumps from Robbie Fox.
01:03:55Way harder to hit if he's moving like that.
01:03:58Robbie Fox has the moves of the day.
01:03:59He is in the early running for my MVP of the day,
01:04:03if his team can pull it off.
01:04:05His Bois de Ville is really carrying him.
01:04:09Oh, and there it is!
01:04:11Unbelievable stuff.
01:04:13Really close game.
01:04:15Let's go to the scores and see who has won this match.
01:04:19The red team, 54,851 points.
01:04:25But the winner, in an upset, the blue team,
01:04:29with 59,303 points, and it all on the strength of Ken Jack.
01:04:36What a move there by Ken Jack.
01:04:38It seems like he really took care of business.
01:04:40And let's not sleep on Ainsley, who put up 13,000 points.
01:04:45Absolutely putting the team on her back.
01:04:47An intern in name, but a seasoned veteran in game.
01:04:51Let's go down to the interviews
01:04:53to see what the champions had to say
01:04:55about what they did at team three.
01:04:58What's it gonna be?
01:04:59It's embarrassing how good it feels.
01:05:01They played a good fight.
01:05:02They played great.
01:05:03They did.
01:05:04We had a brick wall walking back there.
01:05:05Yeah, they played a good fight,
01:05:06but remember, you don't watch laser tag
01:05:08just for the red team.
01:05:09You also watch laser tag for the blue team.
01:05:11And you know what?
01:05:12They weren't having as much fun as we were.
01:05:14Yeah, we were.
01:05:14They were.
01:05:15I was doing three sixes.
01:05:16I was jumping around.
01:05:17He was jumping!
01:05:18I was having a blast out there.
01:05:19They were just trying to play tactically.
01:05:21It's laser tag.
01:05:22You gotta have fun.
01:05:23Exactly.
01:05:24I feel like we let our boys down.
01:05:26No, no.
01:05:27I feel like that's it.
01:05:28They switched up their strategy.
01:05:29They weren't doing offense as much.
01:05:29They were staying on defense.
01:05:31I mean, they won,
01:05:33but Kinjack Pac only half working.
01:05:35I mean, if he would've been fully working,
01:05:36he would've scored a thousand more points.
01:05:38He was also an all-black when we were told to go away.
01:05:41John Kelly, I'm fighting John Kelly after this.
01:05:44I'm gonna kill Ainsley.
01:05:45I'm gonna kill him.
01:05:46I got really upset about that.
01:05:47How much did you lose?
01:05:48I'm afraid I showed something to you.
01:05:49At the end, I just came up and I was like.
01:05:50Honestly, I don't know what to beat.
01:05:53Can you address the Pac allegations?
01:05:54I don't, believe it or not,
01:05:55I don't make my own laser tag.
01:05:57So I don't think I can.
01:05:58We want it red.
01:05:59We want it red.
01:06:01They chose to pick that Pac.
01:06:02Yeah, we were trying to take it from them.
01:06:04So that's on them.
01:06:05Yeah.
01:06:06How much did we lose by?
01:06:078,000 I think.
01:06:088,000, yeah.
01:06:09That's a lot.
01:06:11Yeah, I don't know if the Pac would've switched that.
01:06:13I think their strategy saved them.
01:06:14I know.
01:06:15I'm sure I had way less points.
01:06:17Yeah, I definitely do.
01:06:18I got shot more times than you.
01:06:19I got shot a lot.
01:06:20It's constant that you shot her.
01:06:21I didn't have waves of people coming at me,
01:06:23so I couldn't really.
01:06:24Yeah.
01:06:25We should've just had you go out.
01:06:27I kinda, yeah, I should've gone over there more, but yeah.
01:06:30Vibs was Jeremy Lin.
01:06:31He had a great run.
01:06:32Great run.
01:06:33It was a short run.
01:06:34But like, he's not going to championship.
01:06:36And I mean, complaining about the Pac's bad form.
01:06:38Yeah.
01:06:39It's bad, it's bad sportsmanship.
01:06:40Bad sportsmanship.
01:06:41Yeah.
01:06:42They shot the NBA.
01:06:43Most probably Aimsley getting us through that first match.
01:06:45I don't know.
01:06:46It's more like Aimsley, am I right?
01:06:48Oh, Aimsley.
01:06:49Aimsley.
01:06:50Aimsley.
01:06:51If I said any mean things about Aimsley
01:06:53during the taping of that round, I'd call him out.
01:06:55Yeah, I'd take it back too.
01:06:56I think I'll call him out.
01:06:57I think I may have said something mean.
01:06:58Funny person.
01:06:59I almost smacked his face.
01:07:00No, I really almost killed her.
01:07:01I really almost hit her face.
01:07:03When she kills you, she goes.
01:07:04No, I can't do it.
01:07:05She laughs.
01:07:06She laughs.
01:07:07And I will kill her.
01:07:08She's like, what's funny?
01:07:08She's like a doll animal.
01:07:10Yeah.
01:07:12I gave her the finger at one point, and I was like.
01:07:15Nah, she's weird.
01:07:16She's funny.
01:07:17I can take it to her back.
01:07:18She's a warrior.
01:07:19It's battle.
01:07:20I just wanted to do it.
01:07:21We could have done that.
01:07:22Wow.
01:07:23Spicy stuff from those two teams.
01:07:25Obviously, they're a little bit upset over a team one,
01:07:28but they didn't want the packs that wound up not working,
01:07:32and they were dead by their own design.
01:07:35But that's what you get when you're watching
01:07:38a little bit of laser tag.
01:07:40Now look, I was very impressed with Vibs, I have to say,
01:07:43but the blue team just seemed to have the better cohesion
01:07:46in the end, and they came together and brought it home.
01:07:49It's really about who's the hottest at the end of the day,
01:07:52who is up there bagging them,
01:07:55and who is up there tagging them.
01:07:56And congrats on the $1.3 million prize to the blue team.
01:08:02Not sure how they're gonna divvy that up.
01:08:03But it's a testament to Dave.
01:08:05He's won a lot of bets,
01:08:06and he will be distributing that money on his own,
01:08:10and that's why he's a great boss.
01:08:12We do no work, and he just shovels money down our gullets.
01:08:17Salute to him.
01:08:18Salute to our winners on team three, the blue team,
01:08:21and salute to you for making it to the end of the video.
01:08:24Fantastic stuff.
01:08:25I'm Adam Ferone.
01:08:27I'm Francis Ellis.
01:08:28And we are very happy that you watched this.
01:08:40I'm mad at all of you.
01:08:41Not you, you were staying back.
01:08:42I'm mad at you, you were in the middle, you were in the way.
01:08:45You were in the way.
01:08:46Who do you think you are out there?
01:08:48You were in my way.
01:08:49I know, but they were using me as a blockade.
01:08:51Well, you gotta get out of the way.
01:08:53You gotta be better, you gotta shuffle your feet.
01:08:55You weren't shuffling your feet,
01:08:56you were just standing there.
01:08:57At one point I went down, I tried to help you out.
01:08:59You gotta shuffle.
01:09:00At one point I did.