FULL VIDEO EPISODE: The 2024 Takie Awards, 28 Winners, Guest Presenters + Blake Of The Year

Barstool Sports

Jake Marsh | Pardon My Take

Transcript

00:00:00Okay, my preemptive take of the year.

00:00:04I believe Henry Lockwood is going to dunk.

00:00:09Let's go.

00:00:10Not.

00:00:11I can't believe you fell for that.

00:00:18On today's part of my take, the 2024 takies are here.

00:00:25Magical evening in sports.

00:00:26Yes.

00:00:27We have 28 awards to give out the greatest awards in the sports media landscape.

00:00:34We have everything.

00:00:35We have lib of the year.

00:00:36We have take of the year.

00:00:37We have Blake of the year.

00:00:38We have viral woman of the year and of course, podcast listeners of the year.

00:00:44So it's going to be a great show.

00:00:45We're very excited and it's brought to you by our friends at draft Kings, not playing

00:00:48best ball at draft Kings.

00:00:49You're missing out.

00:00:50Here's what you need to know.

00:00:52Draft Kings best ball millionaire contest is their biggest fantasy contest ever.

00:00:56We're talking 15 million guaranteed prize pool with two.

00:01:01That's right.

00:01:02Two millionaires being crowned for first and second place.

00:01:04If you're a set it and forget it type, then best ball is for you.

00:01:08No waiver wires, no roster management, bigger rosters, so injuries won't end your season.

00:01:13Only the draft and that's it.

00:01:14You're set for the season.

00:01:15If you're still not convinced, check this out.

00:01:18This year, draft Kings is offering everyone a draft one.

00:01:21Get one special.

00:01:22Your $20 entry fee scores you a bonus ticket.

00:01:25I love best ball.

00:01:26It's the best way to play fantasy for someone like me that always ends up losing because

00:01:30you didn't update your roster.

00:01:31You didn't pick up the guy.

00:01:33You didn't drop someone who's injured.

00:01:35Best ball.

00:01:36You just draft it.

00:01:37You set it and forget it.

00:01:38Uh, may the best ball win.

00:01:39So get in all the best ball action.

00:01:41Download the draft Kings app.

00:01:42Use code take.

00:01:43That's code take for all customers who enter the NFL best ball 15 million millionaire contest

00:01:49to get a bonus ticket and get a shot at being crowned one of two millionaires only on draft

00:01:53Kings.

00:01:54Okay, let's go.

00:02:54Welcome to part of my take presented by draft Kings.

00:03:06Get in on all the best ball action.

00:03:08Download the draft Kings app.

00:03:09Use code take.

00:03:10That's code take for all customers who enter the NFL best ball 15 million millionaire contest

00:03:15to get a bonus ticket and get a shot at being crowned one of two millionaires only on draft

00:03:19Kings.

00:03:20Today is Wednesday, July 31st and it is the 2024 take ease.

00:03:28Yay.

00:03:29Yeah.

00:03:30All right.

00:03:31So sports, sports, if anyone is listening to their first take ease, this is our yearly

00:03:37sports award that we do in the middle of summer.

00:03:41It basically goes from the back half of 2023 to 2024 at this moment.

00:03:46We have 28 awards that we are giving out tonight.

00:03:50It will all culminate in podcast listener of the year award.

00:03:55The AWLs are going for a ninth, nine Pete, whole nine Pete would be a record.

00:04:00It would be a record for most take ease one by anybody.

00:04:03This is like John Wooden UCLA, Hamilton, the 20 Yankees, the pyramid of success of listening

00:04:08to part of my take.

00:04:09So you're part of it.

00:04:10Yeah.

00:04:11So it's a, it's going to be a great award show.

00:04:13We should say too, if you're listening and you want to watch, we look good boys wearing

00:04:19suits, get all kidded up.

00:04:21Boys looking nice.

00:04:22Even the boys in the booth.

00:04:23Yeah.

00:04:24I would say, uh, the boys in the booth are looking, they're looking good.

00:04:29They're looking like, I would say over three and a half DUIs between them.

00:04:33Yeah.

00:04:34Looking, uh, one of them's not paying child support.

00:04:37Huey definitely looks like a college kid going to court for the first time.

00:04:40Yeah.

00:04:41He's got a drunken public ticket showing up.

00:04:43I'm going to put on a collared shirt, but I'm going to keep the undershirt on.

00:04:47Probably not fully tucked in, but it's a good look.

00:04:49And the judge is going to give him a lenient sentence cause he's just going to look at

00:04:53him and be like, man, this kid doesn't have a lot going on for him.

00:04:56Well, he's going to look at him and be like, uh, your father owns a business.

00:05:00You seem like a good kid.

00:05:01Let's learn from this.

00:05:02Yeah.

00:05:03Max, Max might, might be the one missing out on child support.

00:05:06I can't see memes.

00:05:07No.

00:05:08Max looks like Huey's lawyer.

00:05:09Yeah.

00:05:10Stand up memes.

00:05:12He looks like an accountant.

00:05:13Yeah.

00:05:14It actually looks me.

00:05:15Oh, it looks pretty appropriate.

00:05:16I mean, uh, memes looks like a pedophile.

00:05:17Now that I'm thinking about it cause he didn't have his glasses on.

00:05:20He looks like he's going.

00:05:21Yeah.

00:05:22He gets to catch predator.

00:05:23I was going to say he looks like an Amish kid that went on rum Springer and had too

00:05:26much fun learning how to do like a, like basic Excel operations.

00:05:30Yeah.

00:05:31So he's a former Amish kid that now loves computers and works at a tech firm.

00:05:35Us in here.

00:05:36We look good.

00:05:37Hank, you look like a playboy.

00:05:39Yeah.

00:05:40Yeah.

00:05:41Yeah.

00:05:42Whenever you break out the round sunglasses, you know, Hank is either ready to do the takeys

00:05:47or took way too many drugs.

00:05:49He looks like a factor fiction, a fiction.

00:05:55You look like a Beatles drug dealer.

00:05:59Circle glasses play.

00:06:00I know.

00:06:01Squares are too, too big for my, my little face.

00:06:02Yeah.

00:06:03It's kind of like an evil scientist type look too.

00:06:05Yeah.

00:06:06You're cooking something weird out.

00:06:07Yeah.

00:06:09You look like a tech, like a tech.

00:06:10I'm in tech, but I'm really just like selling drugs.

00:06:12Yeah.

00:06:13You look like a futurist.

00:06:14Yeah.

00:06:15You look like the guy that sits Elon down.

00:06:16He comes in like the banana boat.

00:06:17He brings in a suitcase of ketamine and then tells him what the future is going to be with

00:06:21robots.

00:06:22Yes.

00:06:23I like that.

00:06:24Okay.

00:06:25That's a good, that's a good job.

00:06:26It's a good life.

00:06:27Um, we also should have said, uh, at the start that in the past we've done cameos this year.

00:06:31We wanted to bring it back home.

00:06:32So we had all the time either.

00:06:34Yeah.

00:06:35We haven't done it over here.

00:06:36We did it the last couple of years.

00:06:37So we figured let's have our friends of the program, our good friends, recurring guests,

00:06:42uh, present a couple of the awards.

00:06:44So we have some guest presenters that will be great, uh, for the listeners.

00:06:48See some familiar faces, some friends and uh, yeah.

00:06:51Should we, should we do it?

00:06:5228 awards to give out.

00:06:54Let's kick into it.

00:06:55Okay.

00:06:56So we're going to start with the, uh, take of the year.

00:07:00We're starting off with the wall.

00:07:02Yeah.

00:07:03We're starting off with a bang.

00:07:04Set the stage.

00:07:05I think the takies take of the year would be the finale, but no, that's actually the

00:07:09preemptive towards the end.

00:07:11Uh, take the year.

00:07:12We have a lot.

00:07:13We have a lot to get through.

00:07:14I want to laugh about a lot of these, uh, shout out our good friend, uh, old takes exposed.

00:07:19He helps us with this every single year.

00:07:21Let's just dive into it.

00:07:22I want to hear what you guys have to think about a lot of these.

00:07:24Okay.

00:07:25Uh, a lot of these are takes that were said maybe a couple of years ago, but they came

00:07:29true this year.

00:07:31So that's when they, you know, a good take usually takes a couple of years to fully grow

00:07:37and become a beautiful tree.

00:07:39And then we can harvest from it.

00:07:40Yeah.

00:07:41You got to give it some time until it becomes flame and hot.

00:07:43Yes.

00:07:44It really reaches, uh, the truth.

00:07:45Yeah.

00:07:46So some of the ones that have come true this year that I loved, uh, this one is from, uh,

00:07:50Neil Iyer on SB nation.

00:07:53This was from February 11th, 2022.

00:07:56The Derek white trade is a disaster.

00:07:59Sorry, folks.

00:08:00Brad Stevens made his first major mistake as GM.

00:08:03Oh, that's a good take.

00:08:04That's a good take.

00:08:05That's a good take.

00:08:06Disaster.

00:08:07Disaster.

00:08:08And was the, was the trade a disaster because Kyrie Irving was on the team?

00:08:10I, I don't know what exactly the trade, why it was a disaster, but Derek white was the

00:08:16ultimate glue guy for the Celtics championship run.

00:08:18Was it not?

00:08:20And the first year to the first year.

00:08:21Yeah.

00:08:22First two years.

00:08:23Yeah.

00:08:24Maybe it was just, he was saying like Kyrie Irving will never win a championship for the

00:08:26Celtics with this Derek white trade, which was, might've been true.

00:08:31Disaster Kyrie.

00:08:32Cause 2022 Kyrie was already on the nets.

00:08:33Okay.

00:08:34Oh yeah.

00:08:35Yeah.

00:08:36True.

00:08:37But a disaster experiment.

00:08:38Yeah.

00:08:39Uh, here's one, this will be a theme.

00:08:40Colin coward is, is featured many times in this one.

00:08:42This is from 2020.

00:08:43This one was beautiful to watch sprout this year.

00:08:47Name the top 100 players ever hard to find many that didn't love the game.

00:08:54Passion matters to me.

00:08:56But Hey, Anthony Edwards has great measurables.

00:09:01I don't think you could think of one person that like loves the game more than Anthony

00:09:04Edwards does right now.

00:09:05But I love those takes, especially during NFL draft season where they're like, I, he's

00:09:09a great player, but is he really in love with football?

00:09:11Yeah.

00:09:12Would he marry a football?

00:09:13Yeah.

00:09:14Uh, yeah.

00:09:15Anthony Edwards, I would say he loves basketball.

00:09:16He had a, he had a very good year and he, he clearly cares a lot and sometimes you don't

00:09:20have to care about, you don't have to love the sport if you just love winning so much

00:09:24that you just don't want to lose in anything you do.

00:09:26Yes, yes, exactly.

00:09:28Uh, here's a good one from Pierce W Huff.

00:09:31This is a call that should happen.

00:09:33Hey, Monty Williams, this is Brad Stevens with the Celtics.

00:09:37I'm about to fire Joe Missoula.

00:09:39Would you be interested in coaching our team?

00:09:41That's a great call.

00:09:42It would be, it was coward to know that was a Pierce W Huff.

00:09:46It would be a very funny phone call.

00:09:47Yeah, it would be.

00:09:49Yeah.

00:09:50Monty Williams, although he, he's pretty good at getting paid.

00:09:52He might be just a good coach at getting paid.

00:09:53That's true.

00:09:54Uh, yeah, I think it worked out well.

00:09:55Yeah, it worked out great.

00:09:56Uh, I want, I want to do a little game called, uh, who said this quote, you ready for this

00:10:01one?

00:10:02I'm not leaving until I get a super bowl.

00:10:05This is about a player that was drafted to a team.

00:10:09Stefan digs.

00:10:10Nope.

00:10:11Oh, drafted, drafted to a team.

00:10:14I'm not leaving until I get a super bowl.

00:10:17I'll say this right now.

00:10:18I could give you a thousand guesses.

00:10:20I don't think you'd get it.

00:10:21Zach Wilson.

00:10:22No.

00:10:24No.

00:10:25Again, a thousand guesses.

00:10:26I don't think you'd get it.

00:10:27That way.

00:10:28Lance.

00:10:29No, that was said by Desmond Ritter after getting drafted by the Falcons, Desmond Ritter

00:10:35is now on the Arizona Cardinals.

00:10:36Oh, that's good to know.

00:10:37I didn't know that.

00:10:38Yes.

00:10:39That's good.

00:10:40So he did in fact leave before getting a super bowl for the Falcon in Atlanta.

00:10:43Yeah.

00:10:44You should just never say that as a Falcon.

00:10:45Yeah.

00:10:46These are, these are all very fun.

00:10:47Uh, the, we, we addressed this one actually, uh, in February, but it's still one that needs

00:10:53to be revisited because in 2019 the athletic wrote a piece and said, uh, in case you missed

00:10:58it, Patrick Mahone's has thrown 36% of Troy Aikman's career touchdowns in about 8% of

00:11:04the games.

00:11:05And Troy Aikman quote treated that in 2019 and said, in case you missed it, talk to me

00:11:10when he has 33% of my super bowl titles.

00:11:14He now has a hundred percent of his super bowl titles.

00:11:17That was tough.

00:11:18But Troy, Troy walked that back later.

00:11:19He was like, okay, he did it.

00:11:21He did it.

00:11:22He did it.

00:11:23Uh, this one is from Nick, right?

00:11:25This, this may, he said, by the time the Celtics adjust to playing real playoff basketball,

00:11:30the Mavs are going to be up three, one Hank, like that one.

00:11:34Yeah.

00:11:35Yeah.

00:11:36That's a strong one.

00:11:37That's a strong way.

00:11:38It was Nick.

00:11:39One of the ones leading the charge at the Lakers were actually the best team in the

00:11:41way.

00:11:42He was one of them.

00:11:43Yes.

00:11:44And then he pivoted to the map.

00:11:45We get any Kevin O'Connor Celtics takes.

00:11:46I don't think I have any.

00:11:47He had a lot.

00:11:48He had some, he did say the war.

00:11:49Yeah.

00:11:50He said that every team that the Celtics were playing was going to beat them.

00:11:53Yeah.

00:11:54Basically picked every team to win the championship except the South.

00:11:56He said the nuggets there.

00:11:57There's no chance to sell it to beat the nuggets in a seven game series.

00:12:00Um, a two for, for Cal Cal said in February, we're built for March, not April, April.

00:12:08They're built for March.

00:12:10Forgot about Gorky.

00:12:11Yeah.

00:12:12And then also, uh, the ad at Kentucky, Mitch Barnhart said, as we normally do at the end

00:12:16of every season, coach Cal and I have had a conversation about the direction of our

00:12:20men's basketball program, and I can confirm that he will return for a 16th season as our

00:12:25head coach.

00:12:26Then something weird happened.

00:12:27Then the chicken, the chicken man, the chicken man gave him a call.

00:12:31Yeah.

00:12:32Um, these are, these are all just fantastic.

00:12:34Again.

00:12:35Shout out our guy.

00:12:36Old takes exposed.

00:12:37We'll rip through a few more and then we'll, we'll give you a winner.

00:12:38Uh, Mason Dodd said, hate to be the only grownup in the room.

00:12:41I like this one just because he's, he's admitting he's the only grownup in the room.

00:12:45Yeah.

00:12:46Yeah.

00:12:47Yeah.

00:12:48Memes would love that based on how he looks.

00:12:49Yeah.

00:12:50Hate to be the only grownup in the room, but Puka Nakua has no upside.

00:12:55Fifth round rookie wide receiver on bottom five teams.

00:12:57Don't move the needle.

00:12:58I love the guy having a strong take about a fifth round receiver to like hate this pick.

00:13:02Yeah.

00:13:03I don't think this guy's going to be a superstar.

00:13:04You're going out on a limb and then when it gets cut out from under, you look like a dumbass.

00:13:08Not only that, but just to be the hate to be the grownup in the room like that really

00:13:11sets you up.

00:13:13Yeah.

00:13:14Um, we had, you never want to be the grownup in the room.

00:13:16No, you never.

00:13:17Nobody likes the grownup in the room.

00:13:18This one.

00:13:19Uh, you will like Hank.

00:13:20Uh, Dan Orlovsky said in 2021 he believes Belichick will win another Superbowl with

00:13:29Mack Jones, a QB.

00:13:31And he said, Mack Jones is the best rookie QB that I have ever seen since doing this

00:13:36job when it comes to knowing where to go with the football, when to go with the football

00:13:40and how to throw that football.

00:13:42Ever seen.

00:13:43Ever seen.

00:13:44Ever seen.

00:13:45What are the criteria that he has knowing where to go with football, where to go with

00:13:48the football, when to go with the football.

00:13:51Nope.

00:13:52When to go with the football.

00:13:53How to throw the football.

00:13:54How to throw, but he's short, but he doesn't specify actually throwing the football.

00:13:58No.

00:13:59That's the big one.

00:14:00Yeah.

00:14:01So Dan Orlovsky might not be wrong about those two things.

00:14:02With, when, how.

00:14:04Now there is a possibility that, that Belichick will win a Superbowl at some point with Mack

00:14:08Jones.

00:14:09That's true.

00:14:10Can't close that door.

00:14:11Yep.

00:14:12I remember the Cal one, uh, Terry on Arnold, Alabama cornerback said, coach Saban ain't

00:14:16going nowhere.

00:14:17He's going to die coaching.

00:14:20That one was, that one was nice.

00:14:21RIP.

00:14:22That one was very nice.

00:14:23Uh, Max, you'll like these next two.

00:14:26Uh, congratulations to the 2023 NFC East champion, Philadelphia Eagles.

00:14:31That was from November 5th, 2023.

00:14:34And also Colin Coward said, uh, he said, let me pull this up.

00:14:41That was in 2023 fall.

00:14:46Oh, that was before Max.

00:14:49How did those go?

00:14:51Not well.

00:14:53Personal favorite of mine.

00:14:54Chad Johnson said in September, 2023, all you fucking doubting all you fuckers doubting

00:14:58Zach Wilson.

00:14:59Don't jump on our bandwagon later.

00:15:01I didn't, and I won't, I won't.

00:15:03I'm not going to.

00:15:04I never did.

00:15:05Not going to, not going to jump on any bandwagons.

00:15:07There might've been one from the bears from training campus that Sundays are going to

00:15:10be fun.

00:15:11Uh, and then my last nominee is, uh, from Cade McNamara on playing QB for Iowa.

00:15:17Please just keep on saying it's the shittiest offense in college football.

00:15:21Please just think we are going to be so shitty next year, please.

00:15:24That's a lot of pleases.

00:15:26Yeah.

00:15:27And they're, I mean, they had a great punting system this year.

00:15:29Yeah.

00:15:30Great punting system.

00:15:31Great return game.

00:15:32Yeah, that's about it.

00:15:33Yeah.

00:15:34Good punting.

00:15:35Do you guys remember any of your takes that were notably bad?

00:15:37I don't think I had a single bad one this year.

00:15:38Yeah.

00:15:40I think I was a hundred percent accurate.

00:15:41I might've said Justin Fields is the guy a hundred times, but I also walked that back.

00:15:45I might've said Sam Howell's the guy.

00:15:47I might've said that there's no way the Celtics are going to lose to Luca or beat Luca.

00:15:51Yeah.

00:15:52Hank, I had a good year.

00:15:55Yeah.

00:15:56Actually you, you did cause you just, you either won or were terrible.

00:15:58Yeah.

00:15:59So the lighthouse was real.

00:16:00Yeah.

00:16:01Well, we'll get to that.

00:16:02We have a take you for that.

00:16:03All right.

00:16:05The winner for the 2024 take of the year takey is Dan Orlovsky.

00:16:13Congratulations.

00:16:14Dan Orlovsky.

00:16:15Incredible.

00:16:16Saying he believes Belichick will win another Superbowl with Mack Jones at QB.

00:16:21Mack Jones is the best rookie QB that I've ever seen since doing this job when it comes

00:16:25to knowing where to go with the football, when to go with the football and how to throw

00:16:29that football.

00:16:30Ever seen is just something you should not.

00:16:31Ever seen is crazy.

00:16:32That's what it was.

00:16:34It was like the sixth QB draft that is class.

00:16:36Yeah.

00:16:37It was between that and the hate to be the adult in the room where the, where I think

00:16:40the two finalists, because it's not a, to win the take of the year, you have to really

00:16:45like do a, say something in it that is so absolute that it's like, come on man.

00:16:52Ever seen.

00:16:53The adult in the room is a tough one because you're, you're already, you're crowning yourself

00:16:56by introducing or introducing your point that way.

00:16:59The Orlovsky take about Mack Jones is noteworthy just because of how badly Mack Jones flamed

00:17:04out this year.

00:17:05So you're getting, you get benched multiple times for Bailey's happy.

00:17:08It's tough to say, well, you know what?

00:17:10Maybe he was a great, maybe, maybe we're misremembering.

00:17:13Maybe we're allowing the recent history of Mack Jones to not remember how great he was,

00:17:18how great he was.

00:17:19Yeah.

00:17:20We'll always have that season.

00:17:21I also am now thinking about it.

00:17:22I don't think there's ever been an adult in a, in a room that has argued about a fifth

00:17:27round draft pick.

00:17:28No, no.

00:17:30No, that's the exact opposite of being an adult.

00:17:32The adult in the room says, why are you guys arguing over a fifth round draft pick?

00:17:36Yeah.

00:17:37Hey, this is crazy.

00:17:38Yeah.

00:17:39Hate to be the only one with a level head on my shoulders, but let's have an argument

00:17:41about Puka Nakua.

00:17:42Yeah.

00:17:43Okay.

00:17:44PFT, you have our next award.

00:17:45Yeah.

00:17:46Next up we're doing, this is an award that I absolutely love.

00:17:49Yup.

00:17:50We've done it, I believe every year.

00:17:51The show, maybe not the first one, but it's the lib of the year award, live of the year.

00:17:55And we've got a stacked roster of nominees.

00:17:59First off, Chris Long.

00:18:00Oh.

00:18:01For a career excellence in libness.

00:18:02This is a lifetime achievement award.

00:18:04Lifetime achievement award.

00:18:05It's a participation trophy.

00:18:07How many lib of the years has he won?

00:18:08I believe two or three.

00:18:10Yeah.

00:18:11He's, he, he libs.

00:18:12He libs hard.

00:18:13He, he's like the bagel bites, pizza in the morning, pizza in the evening.

00:18:15He just libs, lib in the morning, lib in the evening, lib at supper time.

00:18:19Yeah.

00:18:20He's got the, the lib strong wristbands that he wears all the time.

00:18:24Chris Long's nominated.

00:18:26Travis Kelsey also nominated.

00:18:27Yeah.

00:18:29He's been working commercial performances.

00:18:30Yeah.

00:18:31The flies are trying to get us to get the shot.

00:18:32Yep.

00:18:33How much do you think he got paid for that?

00:18:36Four million.

00:18:37Probably a lot.

00:18:38Probably a lot.

00:18:39Four million?

00:18:40I'd say more.

00:18:41Do you think he got free shots for life?

00:18:42You should.

00:18:43Yeah.

00:18:44You should.

00:18:45Yeah.

00:18:46Also nominated, we have Billy Football.

00:18:47Oh.

00:18:48Nominated for lib of the year.

00:18:49What did he do?

00:18:50He ran for office against a bunch of Republicans.

00:18:51Oh, he must be a big lib.

00:18:52Must be a big lib then.

00:18:53Yeah.

00:18:54And then final nominee is Jersey Jerry.

00:18:56Jersey Jerry's nominated for lib of the year.

00:18:58He's talked on live streams a lot about how much he loves Joey B.

00:19:01Yep.

00:19:02Joey B is his guy.

00:19:03Yeah.

00:19:04He's actually been saying, he's been walking around the office being like, oh, you guys

00:19:06got to just trust in Mamala.

00:19:07Yep.

00:19:08Mamala, that's his goat.

00:19:10So we have a very special presenter for lib of the year, political commentator, Nick

00:19:16Adams, USA.

00:19:17Okay.

00:19:18From Australia.

00:19:19G'day boys.

00:19:20Nick Adams, alpha male here.

00:19:22Now this next award goes out to the most oversawed Marxist on Barstool staff.

00:19:31It's called the lib of the year.

00:19:36This is a man, and I use that term lightly, who took dozens of hours to get a single hole

00:19:45in one on a golf simulator and takes his marching orders from pro communist unions.

00:19:54I can confidently say he hasn't stepped foot inside a Hooters in at least 10 years.

00:20:04Without further ado, the 2024 lib of the year award goes to Jersey Jerry.

00:20:14You should be ashamed of yourself, son.

00:20:17Oh, that's beautiful.

00:20:19Thank you, Nick.

00:20:20I appreciate that.

00:20:21Jerry.

00:20:22Jerry's.

00:20:23I just texted him to see if he can come accept it because I have to imagine he's so excited

00:20:26about this.

00:20:27Yeah.

00:20:28He's named after a state that I can't remember the last time they went red.

00:20:30That's true.

00:20:31That's true.

00:20:32Jersey.

00:20:33Jerry.

00:20:34What a lib.

00:20:35Big lib.

00:20:36That's what, when I think of libs, I think of Jerry first.

00:20:37A hundred percent.

00:20:38Yeah.

00:20:39First and foremost.

00:20:40He drives a foreign car.

00:20:41Yeah, that is.

00:20:42Yeah.

00:20:44Okay.

00:20:45I heard he actually is a vegetarian now.

00:20:46Yes.

00:20:47No, vegan.

00:20:48Vegan Jersey.

00:20:49Vegan.

00:20:50Vegan Jersey.

00:20:51Jerry's what they're calling him.

00:20:52Interesting.

00:20:53Yeah.

00:20:54Okay.

00:20:55Great award.

00:20:56We'll get Jerry to stop in when he gets in here to accept that award.

00:20:57I'd like to just see his face, how he reacts to that.

00:21:01Next up, we have death of the year.

00:21:04Big year for death.

00:21:05Death.

00:21:06It put up some numbers.

00:21:07Huge year for death.

00:21:08We had that string the weekend where it was Monty Kiffin, Shannon Doherty, and Richard

00:21:16Simmons all in one weekend.

00:21:18It was like, what's going on?

00:21:20But the nominees, we have Richard Simmons, dead.

00:21:24Let's remember that he's dead.

00:21:26Yeah.

00:21:27He was one of those, he was definitely in the camp of, you could have told me he was

00:21:30dead five years ago.

00:21:31We've been like, sure.

00:21:32Yeah.

00:21:33He would have been a great football coach, I think.

00:21:34Yeah.

00:21:35Yeah.

00:21:36For one year.

00:21:37A motivator.

00:21:39Yeah.

00:21:40When things go wrong in the locker room, you're like, get this guy out of here.

00:21:41Yeah.

00:21:42We lost OJ Simpson this year.

00:21:44Rest.

00:21:45Yes.

00:21:46Toby Keith.

00:21:47Very sad.

00:21:48Oh, yeah.

00:21:49Yeah.

00:21:50Toby Keith.

00:21:51Legend.

00:21:52Yep.

00:21:53Love Toby Keith.

00:21:54And then we also lost Matthew Perry, who is nominated for death of the year.

00:21:56Talented Mr. Roto?

00:21:58No, Matthew Perry.

00:22:00Perry with a P. Matthew Perry.

00:22:03Yeah.

00:22:04Okay.

00:22:05And the winner for death of the year for 2024 takey is OJ Simpson.

00:22:13Congrats, OJ.

00:22:14You're dead, bitch.

00:22:15You're dead.

00:22:16You're dead.

00:22:17You're dead.

00:22:18You're so dead.

00:22:19Sorry.

00:22:20Much, much, much better football player than human being.

00:22:21Yeah.

00:22:22And he's dead.

00:22:23And he's very dead.

00:22:24He's also extremely dead.

00:22:25He's so fucking dead.

00:22:26So dead.

00:22:27Dead is dead.

00:22:28Let the record show OJ is fucking dead.

00:22:31Me?

00:22:32I wouldn't die.

00:22:33Do you remember when Hank found out that OJ died because he slipped in?

00:22:35That was one of my favorite parts of the year.

00:22:37We got to actually put that clip in.

00:22:38Yeah, let's put that in.

00:22:39We got to put that clip in.

00:22:40That was incredible.

00:22:41That was in midst of Hank either missing shows because he was sleeping too late or he was

00:22:48all over the place sleeping.

00:22:49Yeah.

00:22:50You actually, you missed OJ's death.

00:22:51Yeah.

00:22:52OJ died.

00:22:53Did you know that?

00:22:54What?

00:22:55OJ died.

00:22:56Yeah.

00:22:57Oh, nice.

00:22:58We get to break the news to Hank.

00:22:59OJ's dead.

00:23:00OJ Simpson?

00:23:01Dead.

00:23:03Died by death.

00:23:04Dead.

00:23:05That's confirmed.

00:23:06Yes.

00:23:07Confirmed dead.

00:23:08Everyone's been talking about it.

00:23:09Very dead.

00:23:10That's insane.

00:23:11He is dead.

00:23:12He ain't coming back.

00:23:13That is absolutely insane.

00:23:14Wow.

00:23:15I wish we hadn't told him.

00:23:16Yeah.

00:23:17See how long could he go without knowing.

00:23:18It was back of the week on Monday.

00:23:19Yeah.

00:23:20Wow.

00:23:21So Hank, you didn't know OJ died?

00:23:22No.

00:23:23What are your thoughts on OJ?

00:23:24Bad guy.

00:23:25Yeah.

00:23:26Good riddance.

00:23:27And woke up at 11 a.m. one day on a show day and found out that OJ died.

00:23:31I hope everybody out there had the pleasure and the opportunity of getting to break the

00:23:34OJ death news to somebody.

00:23:36Yes.

00:23:37That was an honor to do that to Hank.

00:23:38Yes.

00:23:39Yes.

00:23:40I didn't believe it.

00:23:41Yeah.

00:23:42No, he's dead.

00:23:43Won the trophy and everything.

00:23:44Dead person of the year.

00:23:45Dead person of the year.

00:23:46Okay.

00:23:47We should get death back on the podcast.

00:23:48I agree.

00:23:49Recurring guest.

00:23:50We got to find him.

00:23:51So yeah.

00:23:52What would you say for like you don't want him to rest in peace?

00:23:53No.

00:23:54Rest in piss.

00:23:55Rest in piss.

00:23:56Yeah.

00:23:57Rest in piss.

00:23:58RIP Bozo.

00:23:59Rest in piss.

00:24:00He won't be missed.

00:24:01He's smoking on that Simpson pack.

00:24:04Hell is your offensive line being 120 pounds and you got to pound the rock.

00:24:08I don't think OJ would have held up over a 17 game season.

00:24:11Agreed.

00:24:12Especially 18 too.

00:24:13Yeah.

00:24:14Couldn't play in today's NFL.

00:24:15Someone threw out the idea which I kind of liked.

00:24:18Actually I take it back.

00:24:20I don't like it, but it was interesting.

00:24:2118 game season.

00:24:24Every player can only play a maximum of 16 games.

00:24:27Oh, I like that.

00:24:28But then I was like, I don't like it because it would really suck to be excited about a

00:24:34game and be like, fuck, now we're watching Desmond Ritter.

00:24:38Yeah.

00:24:39I like it in theory because it just, it's chaos.

00:24:41Yeah.

00:24:42It's a wrinkle.

00:24:43Strategery would be awesome.

00:24:44Like 17.

00:24:45You can't do two games.

00:24:48Everyone has to sit out one week.

00:24:50Yeah.

00:24:51This sounds a lot like Little League where everybody gets to play.

00:24:53And I was thinking about, the more I was thinking about it, I was like, all right, I liked it

00:24:58at first.

00:24:59And then I thought I definitely would get fucked because I'd like bet a line on Monday

00:25:04and then they'd be like, this is the game we're throwing.

00:25:05Yeah.

00:25:06And I'd get fucked.

00:25:07Yeah.

00:25:08There's so furious.

00:25:09A lot of reasons why that probably wouldn't work out in reality, but it's, it's fun to

00:25:11think about.

00:25:12It's a fun, it's a fun idea.

00:25:13It's a thought experiment.

00:25:14It's a very good screening.

00:25:15This is how it's ruled.

00:25:16This is how dudes use our imagination.

00:25:17Yeah.

00:25:18We just think about wrinkles to the 18 game season puzzle.

00:25:20Yeah.

00:25:2118 games is so good.

00:25:22Yeah.

00:25:23We should get like a, like what was the, um, what was the movie where they were cracking

00:25:27the code for the Nazis or they were cracking the code of the Nazi imitation game?

00:25:31Yeah.

00:25:32We need that.

00:25:33We need a, we need a camp with nerds trying to figure out the perfect 18 game schedule.

00:25:37It would be very funny though to see if, if they did have that rule where each player

00:25:41could only play 16 games, the dumbest coaches would think that they had it figured out and

00:25:45they completely screw it up.

00:25:47Correct.

00:25:48That, that would be like Mike McCarthy would absolutely fuck that idea up.

00:25:52Yes.

00:25:53Absolutely.

00:25:54Uh, yeah.

00:25:55He'd like seed one week.

00:25:56He'd see, he'd sit his entire defense next week, sit his entire office.

00:26:00He'd sit Dak and CD lamb at the same time and be like, we're using this as an opportunity

00:26:04to see what a roster is going to look like next season.

00:26:06Yeah.

00:26:07And then, and then the week that they don't sit, like they stay, would sit Dak and CD

00:26:10lamb and then a different week he would sit the entire offensive line.

00:26:14Yeah.

00:26:15Dak will get killed.

00:26:16Yeah.

00:26:17It was like, God damn it.

00:26:18Mike McCarthy, our computer guys, our computer guys told us this is the right move.

00:26:22Uh, okay, next up.

00:26:23Next up we have the lighthouse of the year, the lighthouse of the year, a lot of good

00:26:29lighthouses out there.

00:26:30This is a huge year, maybe the biggest year in the history of this show for lighthouses.

00:26:34I'd say they're having a moment.

00:26:36The nominees are to the lighthouse.

00:26:39The book.

00:26:40Oh.

00:26:41Nominated.

00:26:42It's a great, great book.

00:26:43Was that the book?

00:26:44We got them.

00:26:45I got them.

00:26:46Uh, I don't know.

00:26:47Did I get you a book?

00:26:48Hey, that's the meanest thing you could do.

00:26:49Yeah.

00:26:50Well, it's a children's book.

00:26:52It was about lighthouses.

00:26:53It was about lighthouses.

00:26:54Yeah.

00:26:55We read it.

00:26:56It was in the old app.

00:26:57Yeah.

00:26:58Yeah.

00:26:59Okay.

00:27:00That, that book is also nominated.

00:27:01Okay.

00:27:02Whatever that book was called.

00:27:03Hank, you remember it?

00:27:04What was it called?

00:27:05I don't know.

00:27:06Okay.

00:27:07I remember the book.

00:27:08I don't remember the name.

00:27:09Remember seeing a book.

00:27:10You saw a book and you ran the other direction.

00:27:11Hank's seen so many books in his life.

00:27:12Hank thinks see something, say something is about books.

00:27:13Yeah.

00:27:14Hey, do you have any, do you own any books?

00:27:15I do.

00:27:16What books do you own in your, in your home?

00:27:18Hank sees a backpack full of books and he calls the cops.

00:27:21I have a Larry Bird biography that I've, I've been, I've read like 10 pages of at multiple

00:27:27points.

00:27:28I'm not.

00:27:29Hey, listen, I've started over 40 books in the last five years, not finished a single

00:27:32one of them.

00:27:33So I'm, I'm with you on that.

00:27:34I have a book about habit that I'm also trying to read about breaking, breaking bad habits.

00:27:40Okay.

00:27:41But you can't, I haven't finished reading.

00:27:42You can't focus enough to-

00:27:43No, nope, nope.

00:27:45That's a, I mean that-

00:27:46I've read it before though.

00:27:48Wait.

00:27:49So-

00:27:50Like 10 years ago.

00:27:51So you have read it?

00:27:52Yes.

00:27:53This is, is this-

00:27:54Why are you rereading the book about-

00:27:55Because it didn't work.

00:27:56Is this Sisyphus?

00:27:57The, the, the-

00:27:58Pushing it up.

00:27:59Yeah, pushing it up.

00:28:00Yeah.

00:28:01Hank trying to start a book about having good habits that would help him read a book in

00:28:03a timely fashion.

00:28:04Can, is there spark notes to this book?

00:28:06I don't know.

00:28:07There's an audio book I've downloaded that too.

00:28:11You still haven't gotten to it?

00:28:12No.

00:28:13I love that.

00:28:14I love that for you.

00:28:15So we've got two Lighthouse books nominated.

00:28:16We've got the Cape Hatteras Lighthouse in North Carolina.

00:28:21The tallest Lighthouse in the United States.

00:28:23Okay.

00:28:24According to the United States Coast Guard, respect the military and the troops.

00:28:27The old Lighthouse at Gillette Stadium is nominated.

00:28:30It was a great Lighthouse.

00:28:32It was awesome.

00:28:33Everyone loved it.

00:28:34They won championships.

00:28:35They won Super Bowls with that Lighthouse.

00:28:37Then the new Gillette Lighthouse is also nominated.

00:28:40The losingest Lighthouse in the history of the New England Patriots by far.

00:28:44Yes.

00:28:45Mickey Mouse cartoon Lighthouse.

00:28:46I mean, Hank, fact or fiction, things have gone badly since the new Lighthouse came out.

00:28:51No, new Lighthouse was last year and they had gone badly two years ago, but they haven't

00:28:56gotten better yet.

00:28:57I'd say they got worse.

00:28:59They fired a whole-

00:29:00We have a new-

00:29:01Bill Belichick is no longer your coach.

00:29:04You lost a legendary quarterback who throws when, where, how, where, he knows where to

00:29:10put it.

00:29:11Things were all coming together with Mac Jones.

00:29:12You had the best rookie quarterback season of all time, and then you just got rid of

00:29:16all that, and now you're shit.

00:29:19Now you have a quarterback that it looks like he throws a heavy ball.

00:29:23So the winner of the 2024 Lighthouse of the Year is the old Lighthouse at Gillette Stadium.

00:29:33That Lighthouse was awesome.

00:29:35Real one.

00:29:36It was a real one.

00:29:38Multiple Super Bowl.

00:29:39Dynasty.

00:29:40The Dynasty Lighthouse.

00:29:41PFT, hold on one sec, Jared.

00:29:43Stay right there.

00:29:44If the new Lighthouse didn't win, could someone say that it's not even a Lighthouse?

00:29:50It's not a Lighthouse.

00:29:51It should not have been nominated.

00:29:52Yeah.

00:29:53Because it's a fake Lighthouse.

00:29:54Well, you also nominated a book, which isn't a Lighthouse.

00:29:55Your new Lighthouse is a giant butt plug, and it sucks, and everyone hates it.

00:29:59Nope.

00:30:00You don't win football games.

00:30:01It's a great Lighthouse.

00:30:02I have a question.

00:30:03Hey, do you ever think you're going to like the Lighthouse?

00:30:04I have a question.

00:30:05Yeah.

00:30:06Okay.

00:30:07If I was the keeper of the Lighthouse for a Thursday preseason game in August, could

00:30:14I do it?

00:30:16What does keeping a Lighthouse entail?

00:30:18Lighting the light.

00:30:19Are you just standing at the top being like, no, this is a real Lighthouse?

00:30:23It's real to me.

00:30:24Yeah.

00:30:25Hank, I give you permission to be the keeper of the Lighthouse-

00:30:26Against maybe the Eagles.

00:30:29If you read a book about a Lighthouse.

00:30:31Yeah.

00:30:32Full book.

00:30:33Okay.

00:30:34And you finish your Habits book.

00:30:35Okay.

00:30:36Okay.

00:30:38All right.

00:30:39All right.

00:30:40All right.

00:30:41All right.

00:30:42All right.

00:30:43All right.

00:30:44All right.

00:30:45All right.

00:30:46All right.

00:30:47So congrats to that Lighthouse.

00:30:48Congrats to the old Lighthouse.

00:30:49What a wonderful Lighthouse you were.

00:30:50We have winner here, Jersey Jerry.

00:30:51He's going to accept his award.

00:30:52He also forgot his wallet.

00:30:53He's been looking forward.

00:30:54Jerry, we're doing the takeys right now, the 2024 takeys.

00:30:55You have won an award-

00:30:56Thank you.

00:30:57Which comes with a cash prize as well.

00:30:58Oh, here we go.

00:30:59Right up my alley.

00:31:00You love cash.

00:31:01Yeah.

00:31:02You love cash.

00:31:03So would you-

00:31:04That's off, but we'll be all right.

00:31:05Would you like to know what award you won?

00:31:06Yeah, of course.

00:31:08You won the Lib of the Year award.

00:31:10For all your work in the liberal community.

00:31:13Pro-union guy.

00:31:14All right.

00:31:15Pro-union guy.

00:31:16You're a big Mamala guy.

00:31:17No, I'm not.

00:31:18You're asking for handouts.

00:31:19Yep.

00:31:20No, I'm not.

00:31:21I'm not.

00:31:22No.

00:31:23No.

00:31:24I didn't.

00:31:25I'm not a Lib.

00:31:26That's number one.

00:31:27You won the award for Lib of the Year.

00:31:28You won Lib of the Year.

00:31:29Who voted on this?

00:31:30Many voters.

00:31:31Yeah.

00:31:32It was a true democracy.

00:31:33Yeah.

00:31:34So there will be a graphic that says Lib of the Year, Jersey Jerry.

00:31:35Jerry, he's trying to rig the vote.

00:31:36Yeah.

00:31:37Very Lib.

00:31:38Interesting.

00:31:39Oh, whoops.

00:31:40I don't want to accept the award.

00:31:41Okay.

00:31:42Well, you can't not accept it.

00:31:43Yeah.

00:31:44It's been given to you.

00:31:45You hate meritocracy.

00:31:46You hate the fact that you won something.

00:31:47Oh, I think Jerry's a participation trophy guy, a true Lib.

00:31:51He wants everyone to win the award.

00:31:52That's true.

00:31:53I don't.

00:31:54I don't think I've ever even asked to be put up for this award.

00:31:57Oh, wow.

00:31:58No, no one asked to be nominated.

00:31:59Also, Jerry, aren't you happy?

00:32:02The voting for the takeys is secretive and some may say a coup, which is exactly what

00:32:07you people do.

00:32:09I don't do any of that.

00:32:10Okay.

00:32:11I don't do any of that stuff.

00:32:12Like zero.

00:32:13I don't even want to talk about what my theories and stuff are, but my theories are anti-Lib.

00:32:20I don't know.

00:32:21It seems like the case has been laid pretty clearly.

00:32:23Yeah.

00:32:24What?

00:32:25You look like a Lib.

00:32:26Oh, look at Jerry.

00:32:29He's so happy he's won this award.

00:32:31He's just trying to give it to everyone else inside.

00:32:32Give it to Hank.

00:32:33Can you give it to Hank?

00:32:34No.

00:32:35No, no.

00:32:36You're wearing a hat from Pittsburgh.

00:32:37Yeah.

00:32:38Yeah.

00:32:39You love the Steelers.

00:32:40Yup.

00:32:41Unions.

00:32:42Where's Joe Biden from?

00:32:43Delaware.

00:32:44I believe he's from Scranton, Pennsylvania.

00:32:45Yeah, he's from Pennsylvania.

00:32:46Oh, is he?

00:32:47Pennsylvania.

00:32:48Yeah.

00:32:49You are on the record saying you're a Joey B guy.

00:32:50Yes, but that was burrow.

00:32:51Yeah.

00:32:52Okay.

00:32:53All right.

00:32:54There we go.

00:32:55Okay.

00:32:56That was burrow.

00:32:57Thank you, Jerry.

00:32:58Lib of the year.

00:32:59Lib of the year.

00:33:01I will be donating your cash prize to the Democratic Party.

00:33:04Oh, yeah.

00:33:05They just got 90 million.

00:33:06They'll be good.

00:33:07Yeah.

00:33:08You asked for that before.

00:33:09So, like you said, your words, not mine.

00:33:10Mamala's going all the way.

00:33:11She is.

00:33:12She is.

00:33:13He just said she is.

00:33:14Yeah.

00:33:15Yeah.

00:33:16He said she is.

00:33:17Yup.

00:33:18Lib of the year.

00:33:19Jersey Jerry.

00:33:20All right.

00:33:21Where were we?

00:33:22Lighthouse.

00:33:23We just said Lighthouse.

00:33:24Lighthouse.

00:33:25We awarded to the oldest Lighthouse.

00:33:26Yeah.

00:33:27Okay.

00:33:28Next up, big one.

00:33:30A lot of viral women.

00:33:32A lot of viral women this year.

00:33:34Herpes, Joe Kang.

00:33:35Yeah.

00:33:36She has herpes.

00:33:37Allegedly.

00:33:38Pam Anderson confirmed.

00:33:39Oh, hepatitis too.

00:33:40Yeah.

00:33:41Yeah.

00:33:42Okay.

00:33:43C or B.

00:33:44Viral woman of the year.

00:33:45I'm not sure.

00:33:46Which one would you prefer?

00:33:47Yeah.

00:33:48You choose.

00:33:49B.

00:33:50I think that's the wrong one.

00:33:51I think she might have C.

00:33:52Yeah.

00:33:53I think she has C.

00:33:54So, now you have B.

00:33:55Viral woman of the year.

00:33:58We have The Chargers fan.

00:34:01Remember her?

00:34:02Yeah.

00:34:03She was really into The Chargers.

00:34:04That was crazy.

00:34:05She's a plant.

00:34:06That was nuts.

00:34:07She's a paid actor.

00:34:08She's an industry plant.

00:34:09Paid actress.

00:34:10Yeah.

00:34:11The craziest.

00:34:12I still don't really know what happened there.

00:34:13We have Hock Chua girl.

00:34:16She's burning bright.

00:34:18That is as viral as viral gets.

00:34:20Yeah.

00:34:22Lena the Plug.

00:34:23Yep.

00:34:24Went viral.

00:34:25Probably very viral.

00:34:26Yep.

00:34:27That was a crazy story.

00:34:28That was a moment.

00:34:29What was the story?

00:34:30Adam22 let a guy fuck his wife.

00:34:32Yeah.

00:34:33On camera.

00:34:34In front of him.

00:34:35For the podcast.

00:34:36And then got mad about his wife getting fucked.

00:34:38Yeah.

00:34:39Because people made fun of him.

00:34:40And it, again, don't want to say that we play the game the right way, but you don't see

00:34:45any of us getting fucked on camera for views.

00:34:47You will never see that.

00:34:49No one wants to fuck us on camera.

00:34:51Maybe, Huey.

00:34:53I'd watch a video.

00:34:55Look at him.

00:34:56Yeah.

00:34:57I would.

00:34:58I don't want him to, but I would.

00:34:59If you put it in front of me.

00:35:01Yeah.

00:35:02And you're like, check this out.

00:35:04Huey's laying pipe.

00:35:05You wouldn't look away?

00:35:06I would have to look.

00:35:07I'd have to look.

00:35:08It'd be morbid curiosity.

00:35:09We would never stoop to the level of a podcast like No Jumper and have one person on our

00:35:14podcast try to get set up with another guest on our podcast.

00:35:17Right.

00:35:18Exactly.

00:35:19That's disgusting.

00:35:20And I don't think it should happen.

00:35:21Yeah.

00:35:23And then finally, the Oilers fan.

00:35:24Yeah.

00:35:25For her viral moments.

00:35:28Almost getting them to a Stanley Cup.

00:35:30She was great.

00:35:31She was great.

00:35:32I really appreciate that moment.

00:35:33She was great.

00:35:34Okay.

00:35:35So we have a special guest, our good friend, Paul Bissonette, giving us the winner of viral

00:35:40woman of the year.

00:35:42Hello.

00:35:43Pardon my tape fans.

00:35:45Paul Bissonette here from the Spitting Chickens podcast for a very special announcement.

00:35:50It is an honor to have been selected to hand out an award for the 2024 Takey Awards, and

00:35:57I will be presenting today the 2024 Takey Award for most viral woman.

00:36:03And some of you are going to be shocked by the winner, but I don't care.

00:36:07And without further ado, drum roll, please.

00:36:12Get that spit off my face.

00:36:14And the winner of the 2024 Takey Award for most viral woman goes to Oilers girl, Kate.

00:36:21Those luscious tits made so many people happy on the Internet.

00:36:25It propelled the Edmonton Oilers to a long playoff run that just fell short, but she

00:36:30still deserves a ring based on those beautiful boobies.

00:36:33Now, some of you, I know what you're saying.

00:36:36Hawk Tua deserved this.

00:36:37Hawk Tua deserved this.

00:36:38But just you remember, Oilers girl walked so Hawk Tua could run.

00:36:44And that's a wrap.

00:36:46Okay, so congratulations.

00:36:47Congratulations to the Oilers fan.

00:36:50Very happy for the A-Cups.

00:36:52She went on Spitting Chicklets.

00:36:54She's R.A.'s girlfriend.

00:36:55She's R.A.'s girlfriend.

00:36:56So incredible viral run for her.

00:36:59I mean.

00:37:00And also, I appreciated it when she came out so strongly against the haters.

00:37:05Yes.

00:37:06It really made me think.

00:37:07Yes.

00:37:08Okay, what do we have next?

00:37:09Next up, we have the Joe of the Year.

00:37:12Joe of the Year.

00:37:13A lot of great Joes this year.

00:37:14Big year for Joes.

00:37:15Huge year for Joes.

00:37:17First nominee is Joe Mazzuola.

00:37:19Ooh.

00:37:20Coach of the Boston Celtics.

00:37:22Best friend.

00:37:23Stepfather to Henry Lockwood.

00:37:24Hank's best friend.

00:37:25He poured beer on you.

00:37:27Joe Biden also nominated for Joe.

00:37:29I'm pouring honey on him.

00:37:30Wait, what?

00:37:31You're pouring honey on Joe Biden?

00:37:33On Joe Mazzuola.

00:37:34You poured honey on him?

00:37:35Goat.

00:37:36Wait, is that the LeBron reference where it's like, pour honey on him and then pray for

00:37:40the bear?

00:37:41LeBron posted on Instagram and said if me and the bear are in the same forest, pray

00:37:46for the bear or whatever.

00:37:47Yeah.

00:37:48And then Shannon Sharpe.

00:37:49Oh, that's right.

00:37:50I'm pouring honey on you, goat.

00:37:51Yeah.

00:37:52Pouring honey on Joe.

00:37:53How fast would Joe Mazzuola kick your ass if you poured honey on him?

00:37:57Very fast.

00:37:59That would be an awesome.

00:38:01He was ready to kick my ass when I was putting on sunscreen.

00:38:03Joe Biden also nominated for Joe.

00:38:08Still alive.

00:38:09For being still alive.

00:38:10Still alive.

00:38:11We think.

00:38:12JoJo Siwa nominated for Joe of the Year.

00:38:14Don't know who that is.

00:38:15If you have two Joes, do you have one?

00:38:17Who is JoJo Siwa?

00:38:18I know.

00:38:19She's a talker, YouTuber.

00:38:22Dancer.

00:38:23Dancer.

00:38:24Love it.

00:38:25Love her work.

00:38:26Love her work and the joke.

00:38:27Reality TV star.

00:38:28Reality TV star.

00:38:29What'd she do this year?

00:38:30She did...

00:38:31I forget what show it was called.

00:38:33It was on ABC.

00:38:34It was like...

00:38:35She's on Disney Channel.

00:38:36Disney Channel.

00:38:37Yeah, that's what I was about to say.

00:38:38Oh, yeah, yeah.

00:38:39Disney Channel.

00:38:40She just had a big year.

00:38:41She sounds like a big JoJo Siwa fan.

00:38:43She was on a show that they advertised during Sunday Night Football every week.

00:38:47Ah.

00:38:48That show.

00:38:49A show that...

00:38:50Is it the one where they...

00:38:51Sorry, we were watching football.

00:38:52Well, it was commercial football.

00:38:54Yeah, I'm still thinking about football.

00:38:55Yeah, I'm thinking about what I just watched.

00:38:57Yeah.

00:38:58Okay.

00:38:59Also nominated for Joe of the Year.

00:39:00Okay.

00:39:01Also nominated for Joe of the Year, Joel Embiid.

00:39:02Oh.

00:39:03He is a Joe.

00:39:04He...

00:39:05Maverick Joe.

00:39:06He had a pretty big year.

00:39:07He went all the way to the conference finals.

00:39:08Conference semi-finals.

00:39:09Conference quarterfinals.

00:39:10Conference quarterfinals.

00:39:11He just had a really good game in the Olympic Exhibitions.

00:39:14Oh, that's great.

00:39:15He had a great game against Germany in the Olympic Exhibition game.

00:39:18On a super team.

00:39:19Yeah.

00:39:20He had a good game.

00:39:21So, huge year.

00:39:22That's probably...

00:39:23That's the most important game he's ever played in.

00:39:24That actually...

00:39:25We did the voting before that game.

00:39:26This might change everything.

00:39:27This kind of sways things.

00:39:28Yeah.

00:39:29But did...

00:39:30JoJo Siwa blew up on Dance Moms.

00:39:33She's a mom?

00:39:34No.

00:39:35She was the dancer.

00:39:36Oh.

00:39:37Oh, she had a mom.

00:39:38Yeah.

00:39:39Yeah.

00:39:40She was a dancer.

00:39:41She was a dancer with a mom.

00:39:42They don't make those anymore.

00:39:43That's a great idea for a show.

00:39:44No.

00:39:45What is that show?

00:39:46Dance Moms?

00:39:47It's like the children...

00:39:48She was like a young child.

00:39:49It's a creepy show.

00:39:50It's a very creepy show.

00:39:51It's a very, very creepy show.

00:39:52Yeah.

00:39:54Okay.

00:39:55I would say Honey Boo Boo Adjacent.

00:39:56Yes.

00:39:57Got it.

00:39:58Special Forces World's Toughest Test on Fox.

00:39:59That was the show.

00:40:00Special Forces World's Toughest Test.

00:40:01On Sunday Night Football, they were advertising for Fox?

00:40:02No.

00:40:03It must have been...

00:40:04It's wild.

00:40:05Yeah.

00:40:06So...

00:40:07Whatever.

00:40:08You know what I mean?

00:40:09It's fine.

00:40:10JoJo Siwa, big fan.

00:40:11Huge.

00:40:12This podcast is.

00:40:13There should be a podcast mom show.

00:40:14Yeah.

00:40:15Yeah.

00:40:16Yeah.

00:40:17Yeah.

00:40:18Yeah.

00:40:19Yeah.

00:40:20Yeah.

00:40:21Yeah.

00:40:22There should be a podcast mom show.

00:40:23Yeah.

00:40:24I was thinking we'd just do a TV dad show.

00:40:27It's just my kids watching TV.

00:40:29A TV show about kids watching TV?

00:40:31It's me turning on the TV.

00:40:33And then Bluey's on.

00:40:34Yeah.

00:40:35And then it's like, all right.

00:40:36So...

00:40:37And that was the episode.

00:40:38When you were talking about Bluey, I had no idea what a drug Bluey was for kids.

00:40:40Oh yeah.

00:40:41But I had...

00:40:42There was a friend that came into town.

00:40:43Their five-year-old stayed with us.

00:40:45And the kid was jumping all over the basement, punching walls, throwing stuff around, just

00:40:50in a bad mood.

00:40:51I go down there.

00:40:52And I turn on Bluey.

00:40:53Yeah.

00:40:54And it's hypnotized.

00:40:55It's also the greatest show ever created because it's seven minutes long.

00:40:59So you can tell a kid, hey, you get to watch three more Blueys.

00:41:04That feels like a million to a kid.

00:41:07And they're like, three more.

00:41:08Yeah.

00:41:09Bluey's a girl.

00:41:10I'll never run out.

00:41:1120 minutes.

00:41:12Done.

00:41:13Bluey is a drug for kids, for sure.

00:41:14Yeah.

00:41:15Yeah.

00:41:16So here to present...

00:41:17Bluey's a girl.

00:41:18Wait, she is?

00:41:19Yeah.

00:41:20That just fucking blew my mind.

00:41:22Also, very funny because they did a really good job with Bluey.

00:41:26Bluey's dad works at the airport.

00:41:28Okay.

00:41:29He's a drug sniffing dog.

00:41:31That's fun.

00:41:32And Bluey's mom...

00:41:33Wait, his dad's a narc?

00:41:34Yeah, I guess so.

00:41:35Maybe bomb sniffing dog.

00:41:37And then his mom is an archeologist.

00:41:39Bone sniffing dog.

00:41:40Yes.

00:41:41I like that.

00:41:42Pretty cool.

00:41:43That's very good.

00:41:44It's pretty cool.

00:41:45They did a good job.

00:41:46One of them should work in the White House.

00:41:47Next up, we have the presenter for the Joe of the Year Award.

00:41:50Our good friend.

00:41:51Joe Buck.

00:41:52Hey, I'm at Dick's Sporting Goods.

00:41:55So it is my distinct honor to present the 2024 Takey Award to the Dick of the Year...

00:42:03No!

00:42:04He's right.

00:42:06I'm Joe.

00:42:08And it's my honor to present the 2024 Takey Award to the Joe of the Year, to Joe Mazzulla,

00:42:15the Boston Celtics head coach.

00:42:18Congratulations, Joe.

00:42:21Bye.

00:42:22Bye.

00:42:23Incredible video.

00:42:24Wait, can we pause real quick?

00:42:30Let's take a second to admire Joe Buck's outfit.

00:42:32Yeah, I thought it was jean shorts at first.

00:42:35I don't know if it is.

00:42:36I'm going to choose to believe these are jean shorts because this is the best dad outfit

00:42:40I've ever seen in my entire life.

00:42:41Well, this is like his St. Louis is really showing.

00:42:43Yeah.

00:42:44He's wearing jean shorts tucked in with a belt.

00:42:46Tucked in t-shirt to jean shorts.

00:42:49Dad hat.

00:42:50He looks great.

00:42:51And his son hit the moonwalk.

00:42:53We love Joe.

00:42:54Joe is one of our favorite recurring guests.

00:42:56Can't tell the history of Pardon My Take without Joe Buck.

00:42:58He can't.

00:42:59And he actually didn't take any...

00:43:01When I texted him asking for this, he didn't take any offense that he wasn't nominated

00:43:04for Joe of the Year.

00:43:05That's okay.

00:43:06He knows he had an off year.

00:43:07Yeah, he's got something to aspire for.

00:43:08Yeah.

00:43:09Aspire to.

00:43:10Yeah, he did have an off year.

00:43:11He called zero games where someone almost died.

00:43:14Yep.

00:43:15Sad.

00:43:16So, kind of set the bar and he wasn't able to live up to it.

00:43:18Very sad.

00:43:19What do you think to your best friend?

00:43:20Did you tell him?

00:43:21I did tell him.

00:43:22Yeah?

00:43:23What'd he say?

00:43:24He hasn't responded yet.

00:43:25Oh.

00:43:26Best friends.

00:43:27That's just best friend language.

00:43:28Yeah.

00:43:29Yeah.

00:43:30You guys don't have to talk for the best friends.

00:43:31He's probably upset that he won the award and he's going to get complacent.

00:43:34That's true.

00:43:35Did we poison the Celtics by giving him Joe of the Year?

00:43:38It'd be a real shame.

00:43:39That would be a real shame.

00:43:40Okay, next up.

00:43:43Girlfriend of the Year.

00:43:45Girlfriend of the Year.

00:43:47Big time award.

00:43:49We have some big time nominees.

00:43:51First up, it is Taylor Swift, who was very prominently during the football season.

00:43:58Matt Smith?

00:43:59What?

00:44:00For dating Matt Smith?

00:44:02Oh, no.

00:44:04But she did do that and he was problematic.

00:44:06Wait, Matty Healy?

00:44:07Or Matt Healy?

00:44:08Matty Healy, yeah.

00:44:09Come on, Hank.

00:44:10Get up on your lure.

00:44:11Yeah, come on.

00:44:12She started dating Travis Kelsey this year.

00:44:14Some may say Travis Kelsey is Taylor Swift's boyfriend.

00:44:18Depends on the season, I would say.

00:44:19Right now-

00:44:20He's boyfriend.

00:44:21He's boyfriend.

00:44:22Football season, she's girlfriend.

00:44:23I mean, Travis has a good case for boyfriend of the year, too.

00:44:26Yeah, that's true.

00:44:27That's true.

00:44:28Kyle Filpowski's girlfriend.

00:44:32They've been together for a long time.

00:44:34No one put in more work than her.

00:44:36And everything played out perfectly.

00:44:38Yeah.

00:44:39She is the mastermind, to use a Taylor Swift lyric.

00:44:42She plotted this out and now he's in Utah.

00:44:45Minus the whole part of him slipping out of the first round because of people questioning

00:44:50their relationship.

00:44:51Yeah.

00:44:52Still don't really know how Duke was able to keep that under wraps for two years.

00:44:55It's very strange.

00:44:56Very, very strange.

00:44:57She also nursed him back to health, though.

00:44:59So let's give her some credit after he had that devastating leg injury after the court

00:45:03storming.

00:45:04That's true.

00:45:05He came back in record time and some people thought he was dead.

00:45:07And then, finally, Jake Browning's girlfriend, who took the league by storm in week 17?

00:45:14In Joe Burrow's box.

00:45:15Yeah.

00:45:16It was...

00:45:17I remember where I was when I watched that.

00:45:19Yeah.

00:45:20Very nice lady.

00:45:21Okay.

00:45:22So we have a guest presenter for girlfriend of the year.

00:45:25Is she anyone's girlfriend?

00:45:28Not to my knowledge.

00:45:29Okay.

00:45:30Has she ever been someone's girlfriend?

00:45:32I'm sure she has been.

00:45:33Okay.

00:45:34Yeah.

00:45:35Definitely.

00:45:36At some point?

00:45:37Would she also say that she was a girlfriend?

00:45:39In her life?

00:45:40Yeah.

00:45:41Definitely.

00:45:42Would she say recently she's been a girlfriend?

00:45:43I don't know the answer to that.

00:45:44But she's currently no one's girlfriend?

00:45:47I don't know the answer to that either.

00:45:48When was the last time she was someone's girlfriend?

00:45:49I don't know the answer to that either.

00:45:51Okay.

00:45:52Have you ever been someone's boyfriend, Hank?

00:45:53Have I?

00:45:54Yeah.

00:45:55And Tiffany, the mystery presenter, has, at one point, been someone's girlfriend.

00:46:00That's kind of a coincidence, isn't it?

00:46:01That is a coincidence.

00:46:02It seems like that's almost...

00:46:03Wild.

00:46:04Like it's a key in a hole.

00:46:05Yeah.

00:46:06Okay.

00:46:07Like a knee in a wall.

00:46:08Let's go to our guest presenter for girlfriend of the year.

00:46:11Hey, guys.

00:46:12Tiffany Gomez here to present to you your 2024 Girlfriend of the Year Takey Award.

00:46:19Nominees are Miss Taylor Swift.

00:46:23No explanation needed.

00:46:25Jake Browning's girlfriend, Stephanie Niles, that went viral for her white bodysuit.

00:46:31And lastly, Kyle Filippowski's girlfriend, which I think we all know.

00:46:37And I think we all know is not going to win.

00:46:40Really?

00:46:41I think I'd be in the running if someone didn't fumble, but not mentioning any names.

00:46:47But nonetheless, our winner is Miss Taylor Swift.

00:46:51Okay.

00:46:52Incredible.

00:46:53Great work.

00:46:54Great work, Tiffany.

00:46:55Tiff.

00:46:56We love Tiff.

00:46:57Gomez.

00:46:58Gomez.

00:46:59You should rekindle that.

00:47:00It kind of happened.

00:47:01Yeah.

00:47:02Just through this text messaging.

00:47:03Oh, really?

00:47:04Yeah.

00:47:05How?

00:47:06He's checked in.

00:47:07Yeah.

00:47:08I don't want to get into specifics, but.

00:47:10You checked in?

00:47:11Well, he had to.

00:47:13She can't check in.

00:47:14He had to hit her up.

00:47:15She's not allowed to.

00:47:16FAA.

00:47:17That's true.

00:47:18She wanted to go to Paris for the Olympics.

00:47:20With you?

00:47:21Too soon.

00:47:22Oh, man.

00:47:23It's like this week.

00:47:24She invited you to France?

00:47:25The most romantic country in the world?

00:47:26Would have been a great place to get down on one knee.

00:47:28She also DMed him on TikTok.

00:47:30Oh, yeah.

00:47:31Hey, Max.

00:47:32Max does know all the DMs on TikTok.

00:47:34Yeah.

00:47:35Yeah, somehow Max is logged into my TikTok, which I don't really use.

00:47:39I just get emails whenever Hank gets a DM on TikTok.

00:47:42Oh, I love it.

00:47:43And I was with Big Cat, and I was like, look, Hank just got a DM.

00:47:47What did the DM say?

00:47:48I can't see what the DM says.

00:47:50I just get an email that says, you have received a direct message from TikTok by Tiffany Gomez.

00:47:56Gomez.

00:47:57I think the DM said, I want to go to Paris in a lope.

00:48:01Yeah.

00:48:02No.

00:48:03Nope.

00:48:04Marry me.

00:48:05Yeah.

00:48:06Yes or no?

00:48:07False.

00:48:09You'd have to say yes.

00:48:10Yeah.

00:48:11Okay.

00:48:12Nice.

00:48:13I don't have that in me to say no.

00:48:14Yeah, right.

00:48:15You'd figure it out later.

00:48:16Say yes in the moment.

00:48:17Yeah.

00:48:18Yeah.

00:48:19That would be a hell of a wedding.

00:48:20Yeah.

00:48:21Could be destination.

00:48:22That would be great.

00:48:23It would be fun.

00:48:24Okay.

00:48:25Also, I think Jerry O'Connell would possibly be a bridesmaid.

00:48:27No, he'd have to marry it.

00:48:30No, because he'd get to the part where it's like, speak now or forever, hold your peace.

00:48:34And he'd be like, I object.

00:48:35Yeah.

00:48:36I personally object.

00:48:37Me.

00:48:38Okay.

00:48:39Next up.

00:48:40Yeah.

00:48:41The kiss the bride part, he would love.

00:48:42Oh, yeah.

00:48:43If he'd get involved, it would be a triple kiss.

00:48:44Yeah.

00:48:45He'd need a little sheet to stand behind for the kiss the bride.

00:48:46Sounds like a movie.

00:48:48Next up.

00:48:49Next up, we have Dom of the Year.

00:48:52Ooh.

00:48:53Dom of the Year.

00:48:54Great award.

00:48:55This is the first year that we've ever presented this, but we've got some good nominees here.

00:49:00First up is Big Dom.

00:49:01Oh, yeah.

00:49:02From the Fluffy Eagles.

00:49:03Fluffy Eagles.

00:49:04Remember when he got kicked out of that game that rocked?

00:49:06Show your football.

00:49:08Oh, yeah.

00:49:09My football is somewhere.

00:49:10Where's my football?

00:49:11Oh, I got it.

00:49:12Where's my football?

00:49:13Dom said, he said, my paisans, game ball presented to Big Cat from Big Dom.

00:49:16Incredible.

00:49:17He's the best.

00:49:18He is the best.

00:49:20We were going to actually get him to try to be a guest presenter, and then we decided,

00:49:23you know what?

00:49:24Let's not burn that relationship with something as frivolous as the Takeys.

00:49:28Not that the Takeys are frivolous.

00:49:30To Big Dom, they wouldn't.

00:49:31But we would want...

00:49:32He's a football guy.

00:49:33First time Big Dom comes on the show, needs to be in person, and we have to have at least

00:49:3845 minutes with him.

00:49:39And also a lot of chicken parm.

00:49:41Yep.

00:49:42Shit loads.

00:49:43Big Dom nominated.

00:49:44Okay.

00:49:45Also nominated.

00:49:46It's a big time to beat.

00:49:47Dom of the Year.

00:49:48Yes.

00:49:49The Dom of the Year from last year from the viral Dave Portnoy pizza review.

00:49:53Yes.

00:49:54Yes.

00:49:55Which was, he just kept on yelling, Dom of the Year, Dom of the Year.

00:49:57That guy, self-anointed Dom of the Year.

00:50:00Self-anointed.

00:50:01Next up, we have Max's nephew.

00:50:03Yes.

00:50:04Named Dom.

00:50:05Dominic Delente.

00:50:06Shout out, baby Dom.

00:50:07Shout out, baby Dom.

00:50:08Baby Dom.

00:50:09I love that.

00:50:10I think we should...

00:50:11I think right now, I don't know who wins Dom of the Year, but similar to when Nick Saban

00:50:17gives a scholarship offer to a five-year-old, I think we should give an internship offer

00:50:23to Dominic Delente.

00:50:24I'm okay with that.

00:50:25I love that.

00:50:26In 18 years time, he has an open internship offer to Dominic Delente.

00:50:32Sign him up right now.

00:50:33Lock him up.

00:50:34Yep.

00:50:35Big moment for baby Dom right now.

00:50:36That's a huge moment.

00:50:37Huge moment for baby Dom.

00:50:38Now, the problem is, it's going to be Huey and Memes hosting this show.

00:50:40It's going to be no one listening, but he will be an intern.

00:50:44Yeah, we're ending Italian unemployment one baby at a time.

00:50:47Yes.

00:50:48He's got a job.

00:50:49Also nominated for Dom of the Year, Taylor Swift.

00:50:52Yeah.

00:50:53Interesting.

00:50:54She kind of wears the pants in that relationship.

00:50:56She's just won Girlfriend of the Year, so could she go back to back?

00:50:59We'll see.

00:51:00We've never had a back to back.

00:51:02You haven't?

00:51:03We've never had a back to back.

00:51:05You had a back to back?

00:51:06We'll see.

00:51:07I've never had a back to back.

00:51:08Yeah.

00:51:09What is that?

00:51:10If that was a number, would that be a 96?

00:51:11You'd be 90-sixing?

00:51:1211?

00:51:13No, that's spooning.

00:51:14No, back to back.

00:51:17Back to back?

00:51:18Spooning would be more like-

00:51:197-7?

00:51:20Yeah, something like that.

00:51:21Back to back is spinning up.

00:51:221-7?

00:51:23Back to back.

00:51:24I think back to back is 9-6.

00:51:25Is that the truth?

00:51:26I think it's 96.

00:51:27Is back to back one of the scariest phrases you can say to a short man?

00:51:30Yes.

00:51:31100%.

00:51:32Also, because I watched Wreck Me, Poor Dream one time, and back to back has a different

00:51:36meaning there.

00:51:37Yeah.

00:51:38Okay, so the Dom of the Year award goes to Big Dom.

00:51:43Yes!

00:51:44Congratulations, Big Dom.

00:51:45Big Dom!

00:51:46Huge work in the field of Dom-ness.

00:51:49You crushed it, man.

00:51:52You crushed it.

00:51:53The Eagles couldn't win without you.

00:51:54Yeah.

00:51:55You took the world by storm.

00:51:57The season fell apart the minute Big Dom got off that sideline.

00:52:00He got a massive promotion.

00:52:01Yep.

00:52:02He's now director of what?

00:52:03All of football?

00:52:04I think he just is the Philadelphia Eagles.

00:52:06Yeah.

00:52:07He's the build the whole team out of Big Dom.

00:52:09Yep.

00:52:10Yeah.

00:52:11Could win a lot of games.

00:52:12What is he, Max?

00:52:13What's his actual ... Max just searched Big Dom promotion.

00:52:16You'd think he'd have this.

00:52:18In charge of game day coaching?

00:52:20He's coaching?

00:52:23Eagles add game day coaching operation title to Dom DeSandro's growing responsibilities.

00:52:27I think they did this so he can't get kicked out anymore.

00:52:31They should also make him director of sanitation.

00:52:33Yes.

00:52:34Yes.

00:52:35Okay.

00:52:36Big Dom upgrade.

00:52:37Eagles security chief Dom DeSandro receives promotion to make it harder for NFL to discipline

00:52:42him after ... I love that, after 2023 ban.

00:52:45They basically are protecting Dom.

00:52:47That's really solid.

00:52:48Yeah.

00:52:49Yeah.

00:52:51I think players should be promoted to some sort of coaching title to make it harder for

00:52:54discipline.

00:52:55I feel like Goodell's going to do whatever the equivalent of a Rico act will be for the

00:52:59Eagles.

00:53:00Yeah.

00:53:01Don't say nothing.

00:53:02He's trying to take down the whole operation.

00:53:03Okay.

00:53:04Next up, Italian of the year.

00:53:07Ooh.

00:53:08Big year for Italians.

00:53:10Big, big year.

00:53:12We had one of the Italians that took the world by storm.

00:53:15Tommy DeVito.

00:53:16Yes.

00:53:17Is nominated.

00:53:18Tommy.

00:53:19Tommy DeVito.

00:53:20Tommy DeVito.

00:53:21Two really good games.

00:53:22It was so much fun.

00:53:23That Monday night game, the world was going crazy.

00:53:24Everyone was doing the fingers.

00:53:25Yep.

00:53:26And his family.

00:53:27It was the perfect time and place.

00:53:29We knew that it probably wasn't going to last forever, but when it was happening, we were

00:53:34just embracing it.

00:53:36We also have Big Dom.

00:53:38Big Dom.

00:53:39Has been nominated.

00:53:40Huge, huge work.

00:53:41Can we do the back to back?

00:53:42First time ever.

00:53:45Also nominated, Caitlin Clark.

00:53:47People don't realize she's Italian.

00:53:48Half Italian.

00:53:49She's half Italian.

00:53:50I play for Adelaide.

00:53:51Italian.

00:53:52A great Italian-American who is growing the game of women's basketball.

00:53:58And finally, we have Sean Stilato, Tommy DeVito's agent, who is a recurring guest, and he couldn't

00:54:03be more Italian if he tried.

00:54:05Already a Hall of Famer.

00:54:06Yeah.

00:54:07Italian Hall of Fame.

00:54:08You see, he met the Pope.

00:54:09He did meet the Pope.

00:54:10That was the most Italian thing ever.

00:54:11Yeah.

00:54:12That was probably a big, big day.

00:54:13But yeah, he came in when he was being inducted into the Italian Sports Hall of Fame that

00:54:17is located in Chicago.

00:54:19So congrats to Sean.

00:54:20We have a special guest who is presenting this award.

00:54:24We do.

00:54:25Is she Italian?

00:54:26She is.

00:54:27Oh.

00:54:28It's Diana Rossini.

00:54:30Also a great reporter.

00:54:31Great reporter.

00:54:32Great reporter.

00:54:33Thorough.

00:54:34Very thorough.

00:54:35Very accurate.

00:54:36Memes was just booed in the-

00:54:37Oh, memes.

00:54:38She's our guest presenter, memes.

00:54:39Like, loudly.

00:54:40Loudly booed.

00:54:41Guess what?

00:54:42She just got another source.

00:54:43Wow.

00:54:44Memes, you booed our presenter?

00:54:45Damn.

00:54:46Okay.

00:54:47Let's play the video.

00:54:48Oh, hi.

00:54:49I'm Italian reporter, Diana Marie Rossini, here to present the Italian of the Year.

00:54:55Whether you're 100% Italian like me, or you just like to be like Giada and sprinkling

00:55:00your Italian words like, Garamama, mozzarella, gabagool.

00:55:04Or if you're like PFT and you're 1% Sicilian, or perhaps your offspring like Big Cat has

00:55:10a little meatball in them.

00:55:12It doesn't matter.

00:55:13Everybody knows all Italians love three things.

00:55:15We love to eat, we love to love, and we love to fight.

00:55:19Which is why this year, the Italian of the Year goes to Big Dom with the Philadelphia

00:55:26Eagles.

00:55:27We still have no idea what your job is.

00:55:32I like that she added the Marie.

00:55:33Yeah, the Marie.

00:55:34Really, Diana Marie Rossini.

00:55:35How many vowels can you end in names?

00:55:37It's important to add that in there.

00:55:39I also like how she was stirring up pasta, but it was pasta salad.

00:55:44Yeah.

00:55:45That's good.

00:55:46Yeah, it did.

00:55:47Yeah.

00:55:48Congratulations.

00:55:49Dom has won the first ever back-to-back takies.

00:55:50That's very impressive for Dom.

00:55:52He came on to the scene.

00:55:53I actually think this is a bad job.

00:55:56Big Dom coming on the scene at the NFL this year showed what a bad job we did as NFL fans.

00:56:01Correct.

00:56:02And NFL podcasters.

00:56:03The fact that we did not already know about Big Dom was a massive blind spot in this show.

00:56:08Yes.

00:56:09So we do apologize for that.

00:56:10I also blame Max for not playing Big Dom.

00:56:12You should have told us.

00:56:13You should have told us.

00:56:15Big Dom's life made you think that we would not want to be interested in him.

00:56:18The second we laid eyes onto him, we're like, we love this guy to death.

00:56:22I don't know.

00:56:23It never came up.

00:56:24Yeah.

00:56:25What else are you hiding from us, Max?

00:56:26Seriously.

00:56:27Don't worry about it.

00:56:28Okay.

00:56:29There's definitely another Italian.

00:56:30Yeah.

00:56:31There's some Phillies or something.

00:56:32You got a guy.

00:56:33We got to fucking know this guy.

00:56:34Okay.

00:56:35Next award.

00:56:36Actually, let's do a quick ad.

00:56:39The Takeys are presented by Coors Light, our favorite beer in the world.

00:56:44The perfect summer playlist may be elusive, but one thing is for sure, it gets better

00:56:48when it's enjoyed with a cold Coors Light because music plus Coors Light equals chill

00:56:52amplified.

00:56:53Coors Light is the only choice when you're ready to choose chill.

00:56:54When you embrace a chill mindset, it's a good time to choose chill and crack open a Coors

00:56:58Light.

00:56:59Amplify your chill this summer with Coors Light.

00:57:01Choose chill.

00:57:02Choose Coors Light.

00:57:03Go to CoorsLight.com slash summer music to see how Coors Light can amplify your summer.

00:57:06Be sure to keep an eye out on Coors Light social handles all summer long for more exciting

00:57:11announcements.

00:57:12Celebrate responsibly.

00:57:13Coors Brewing Company.

00:57:14Golden Colorado.

00:57:15Coors Light.

00:57:16The best beer in the world.

00:57:17The coldest beer in the world.

00:57:18We love Coors Light.

00:57:19Thank you to Coors Light.

00:57:20We couldn't do the Takeys.

00:57:21We couldn't do PMT without Coors Light, so go crack open a nice cold Coors Light.

00:57:26You know what?

00:57:27If you're listening to the Takeys, go get a Coors Light right now.

00:57:29It will help chill you out for the rest of the Takeys.

00:57:32We've got a lot of awards still coming up, so thank you to Coors Light.

00:57:36Okay, next up.

00:57:37Next up, we have a very important award.

00:57:40It's the Why Didn't They Put a Guy on That Shooter award, and we've got some great nominees.

00:57:47First up, Dante DiVincenzo.

00:57:50He was electric at the end of that game against the 76ers.

00:57:55Also very Italian.

00:57:56Yes, extremely.

00:57:57I mean, you got the triple threat.

00:57:58You got the Italian guy.

00:58:00You got the Villanova guy, and you got the New York Knicks guy.

00:58:05Taking Max out.

00:58:06Yes.

00:58:07It was a bad day for Max.

00:58:08We also have Peyton Pritchard nominated for his outstanding performance in the last second

00:58:12of quarters.

00:58:13Just put a guy on him.

00:58:14Why didn't you put a guy on that shooter?

00:58:17Next up, we have Trump's Assassin.

00:58:20Should have put a guy on him.

00:58:21Yep.

00:58:22Definitely should have put a guy on him.

00:58:23Should have put a guy on him.

00:58:24I think they saw him on the roof.

00:58:25A guy should have been there.

00:58:26Sloped roof.

00:58:27Where were the guys?

00:58:28Should have put a guy on him.

00:58:29Is he an assassin or-

00:58:30Attempted assassin.

00:58:31A would-be assassin.

00:58:32A would-be assassin.

00:58:33I feel like you can't give him that title.

00:58:34He's a shooter.

00:58:35He's a shooter.

00:58:36Yeah.

00:58:37He doesn't get assassin.

00:58:38Yeah.

00:58:39Just ass.

00:58:40Yeah.

00:58:41Also nominated is Zach Golke.

00:58:42Jack Golke.

00:58:43Jack.

00:58:44Sorry.

00:58:45Jack Golke.

00:58:46That's okay.

00:58:47Jack Golke nominated.

00:58:48You got it.

00:58:49I got it.

00:58:50Put a guy on that guy, Cal.

00:58:51Big time put a guy on that guy.

00:58:52Cal should have put a guy on Jack.

00:58:53He didn't know that Jack Golke is wetter than wet.

00:58:56The winner of the why didn't they put a man on that shooter award is Jack Golke.

00:59:01Yes.

00:59:02Jack Golke.

00:59:03We're friends.

00:59:05Great work.

00:59:06They should have put a guy on you though.

00:59:08Golke was, I mean, he was made in a lab for, for March Madness.

00:59:13Get a hand in his face.

00:59:15Just the perfect, I really do think that the NCAA, like for all the hand wringing of like

00:59:20the game is changing so much.

00:59:23Make a Jack Golke rule that basically we just get to vote on like five guys every March

00:59:28Madness that no matter their eligibility, they get to stay another year.

00:59:32It'd be nice.

00:59:33Jack Golke this year would be such a fun story to watch.

00:59:36Just turn on a random Oakland game and be like, Oh, Jack Golke is going off again.

00:59:39Cause the thing is Jack Golke could beat anybody on the right night.

00:59:43Yes, he can.

00:59:44He showed that.

00:59:45Yep.

00:59:46He showed that.

00:59:47Okay.

00:59:48Next award up.

00:59:49This is a doozy boys because we might have a back to back winner.

00:59:55Another one.

00:59:56No, not back to back, but back to back years.

01:00:01It is, it is the still alive person of the year.

01:00:07Tommy Lasorda Memorial.

01:00:08Uh, Tommy Lasorda, John Madden Memorial.

01:00:12I think Queen Elizabeth to fuck her.

01:00:15Yeah.

01:00:16They'll Russell is he's in a box in a box, in a box, in a box, in a box, in a box.

01:00:23Um, we have given this award, uh, every single year, I think most years, uh, the take ease

01:00:30and a lot of times the person dies that year.

01:00:34Yeah.

01:00:35Who was the first one?

01:00:36Uh, I don't remember.

01:00:38Who did we actually go see death about?

01:00:40I, we did sort of Lasorda Lasorda.

01:00:42Yes, it might've been Lasorda.

01:00:44So it might be the Tommy Lasorda award.

01:00:45Either way.

01:00:46The still alive person of the year.

01:00:47This is a person you can't believe is still alive.

01:00:50The nominees are Joe Biden possibly still alive.

01:00:56Still alive.

01:00:57By the time this airs, he's like, uh, we are taping this a week before we air it.

01:01:02He's like step alive.

01:01:03Okay.

01:01:04Or like, uh, he's like a divorced dad.

01:01:06He's alive every other weekend and we don't want to jinx this by the way.

01:01:09We don't want any of these people to die.

01:01:10We don't want this to become a jinx thing.

01:01:13Joe Biden's still alive.

01:01:15Donald Trump's still alive.

01:01:17Yup.

01:01:18By inches, by inches.

01:01:20Nancy Pelosi still alive, physically, physically, still alive.

01:01:27Cannons.

01:01:28What?

01:01:29I don't get it.

01:01:32I mean, Hank, you, you cannons.

01:01:38Yeah.

01:01:39I wasn't familiar with their game.

01:01:40Oh yeah.

01:01:41Oh yeah.

01:01:42Cannons.

01:01:43Cannons.

01:01:44Cannons.

01:01:45Cannons.

01:01:46Uh, Mitch McConnell.

01:01:47Still alive as long as they keep plugging him back in.

01:01:48Turkey.

01:01:49Turkey.

01:01:50Turkey.

01:01:51Gobbler.

01:01:52Gobbler.

01:01:53Turtle.

01:01:54Turtle.

01:01:55Yeah.

01:01:56And Jimmy Carter who won it last year.

01:01:57It was an amazing run and still alive for Jimmy Carter because I believe he's been in

01:01:59hospice for like two years.

01:02:01He, we, we talked about it when it happened, but his grandson said that there are some

01:02:05days he just doesn't wake up, which is a telltale sign of being dead.

01:02:10That's true.

01:02:11Not waking up is dead.

01:02:12Or you'd be hibernating.

01:02:13Yeah.

01:02:14So some days he just doesn't wake up.

01:02:15But without further ado, the still alive person of the year for 2024 is Jimmy Carter again.

01:02:24Back to back championship for Jimmy Carter.

01:02:27He's outlasted the still alive person of the year.

01:02:30He won it last year.

01:02:31He stayed alive for the entire year.

01:02:34Again, we are taping this seven days before we air it.

01:02:38Who knows?

01:02:39But he's still alive.

01:02:41Memes just sent the, uh, the picture of Nancy Pelosi and the group chat cannons, right?

01:02:44Respect.

01:02:45Yeah.

01:02:46Respect.

01:02:47Respect.

01:02:48It's respectful cannons.

01:02:49It's respectful cannons.

01:02:50Yeah.

01:02:51Hey, come on.

01:02:52Yeah, no.

01:02:54I like you.

01:02:55Guy like you with those glasses on looking right, looking right.

01:02:59She looking right.

01:03:00Uh, okay.

01:03:02So Jimmy Carter wins still alive person of the year.

01:03:06Unbelievable.

01:03:07I think he can do a three peat.

01:03:08I, if anybody can do it, it's Jimmy.

01:03:10It would be unprecedented.

01:03:11I don't think anyone would be able to top it.

01:03:12I don't even know if anyone will be able to top a two P. Has anybody ever, ever been not

01:03:16dead for three years?

01:03:18Ooh, I don't think so.

01:03:20I don't think so.

01:03:21And again, he is half dead.

01:03:23Listen, Jimmy's set up right now.

01:03:25He really is.

01:03:26Okay.

01:03:27Next up.

01:03:28Next up we have scout of the year.

01:03:29Ooh, the scout of the year award.

01:03:31Okay.

01:03:32The nominees are Tony Scheffler's cat.

01:03:34Yes.

01:03:35Scouty.

01:03:36Scouty.

01:03:37Great barn cat.

01:03:38Yeah.

01:03:39Productive.

01:03:40Kills all those birds.

01:03:41Uh, all the anonymous scout quotes that come out before the draft every year.

01:03:43Um, they're always fun to read.

01:03:45Yeah.

01:03:46There was, they were heavy on my guy, Caleb Williams this year.

01:03:48Yeah.

01:03:49Does he love football?

01:03:50Who's to say?

01:03:51We don't know.

01:03:52Yeah.

01:03:53And then Connor Stallions.

01:03:54Connor Stallion.

01:03:55Scout of the year.

01:03:56One of the craziest stories.

01:03:57Like we don't give it enough credit how crazy that story, I know there's a Netflix documentary

01:04:01coming out.

01:04:02I can't wait for that.

01:04:03I cannot wait for that.

01:04:04And I actually think the person we are presenting is part of it.

01:04:07Oh, he's going to be in it?

01:04:08He's going to be in it.

01:04:09Okay.

01:04:10I, can I just watch a single documentary about sports on TV without Dave Portnoy showing

01:04:14up?

01:04:15He is, he is, he is in it and he is presenting this award.

01:04:17I now, I texted him to ask him for this.

01:04:20We, we have not, I've not watched it.

01:04:22So we're watching it all together and I'm guessing he might be ad-libbing a little bit

01:04:25about Michigan.

01:04:26Let's see.

01:04:27Okay.

01:04:28Here he is.

01:04:29Our presenter for scout of the year.

01:04:30Hey, this is our captain Dave proudly here to present the 2024 takey for scout of the

01:04:37year, a scout and an important, honest, upstanding member of any organization whose job in the

01:04:45military, in the Navy, on the football field, scout the opponent, give any clues, anything

01:04:51you can give to help your team succeed.

01:04:53Nobody exemplified the American spirit, the Marine spirit, the football spirit, the Michigan

01:04:59man spirit more than Connor stallions.

01:05:02Proud to award him the 2024 scout of the year national champs.

01:05:08Go blue.

01:05:09Yeah.

01:05:10All right.

01:05:11Congrats.

01:05:12Dave looks like a old sailor now.

01:05:13Yeah.

01:05:14I don't know what's going on with this.

01:05:15He's got the beard.

01:05:16His beard.

01:05:17The sunburn.

01:05:18The hat.

01:05:19What's that?

01:05:20What?

01:05:21He looks a little bit like the Gordon Fisherman.

01:05:22Is that it?

01:05:23He looks a little bit like the Gordon Fisherman.

01:05:24Yeah.

01:05:25He does.

01:05:26All due respect.

01:05:27But Connor stallion.

01:05:28Connor stallion.

01:05:29Great human being.

01:05:30Incredible, incredible story.

01:05:33He is scout of the year.

01:05:35Incredible story.

01:05:36Like, like you said that like it was an inspiring.

01:05:39It is.

01:05:40It's a very inspiring story.

01:05:41Hank, when he was growing up, all he wanted to do was help Michigan football win a national

01:05:44championship.

01:05:46And he set a plan into place where he joined the United States Marines, learned recon tactics,

01:05:53and then took that, wrote a fucking manifesto, joined his way onto the Michigan football

01:05:58program first as like an unpaid assistant, just like a volunteer, worked his way up until

01:06:03the point where he was providing actual information about their opponents based on him sneaking

01:06:08into games and shit with tactics he learned in the Marines.

01:06:12Yeah.

01:06:13Yeah.

01:06:14Yeah.

01:06:15Yeah.

01:06:16It's a great story.

01:06:17It's as simple as this, Hank.

01:06:18He wrote a manifesto and didn't kill anyone.

01:06:19That's hard to do.

01:06:21People write manifestos.

01:06:23They kill people.

01:06:24That's a manifesto is a bad thing.

01:06:26Connor stallions wrote a manifesto and all his dreams came true.

01:06:29Yeah.

01:06:30We should be thanking our lucky stars that he is obsessed with college football and not

01:06:34some weird corner of the internet that we don't even know about yet.

01:06:37Didn't we get a story?

01:06:38Oh yes.

01:06:39Now this is flashing back at beer games.

01:06:42A couple of guys who were on the Michigan team said after they won the national title,

01:06:47which was, where was it played?

01:06:49Was it LA?

01:06:50Houston?

01:06:51No, Houston.

01:06:52They went out after, uh, they were out at a bar, maybe a strip club.

01:06:55I'm going to say bar and in the corner of that bar, maybe strip club.

01:07:01Connor stallions was just sitting there and he kind of did like a good job and gave him

01:07:06like a tat, a hat tip and was like, you job well done.

01:07:09I love that.

01:07:10And they're like, how the fuck was he here?

01:07:13So he's everywhere.

01:07:14Yeah.

01:07:15Yeah.

01:07:16Huey is a Michigan man.

01:07:17What is your, what are your thoughts on a Connor stallion?

01:07:19He's a great man.

01:07:20I mean, just a hero to the community.

01:07:22Uh, I mean, I let him watch my kids if I had one.

01:07:25Okay.

01:07:26Okay.

01:07:27That's, that's huge.

01:07:29Would you watch your kids if you had one?

01:07:30I'd probably give it to him.

01:07:32Okay.

01:07:33Yeah.

01:07:34All right.

01:07:35So there it is.

01:07:36So not only did he just win a takey, he won Huey's future child.

01:07:37Yeah.

01:07:38Any good Michigan man should just volunteer their firstborn to Connor stallions.

01:07:40Yes.

01:07:41It really is.

01:07:42Maybe my favorite college football story ever.

01:07:44It was incredible.

01:07:45It was incredible.

01:07:46Um, okay.

01:07:47Great award.

01:07:48Uh, next up we have gambler of the year.

01:07:50Wow.

01:07:51Big one.

01:07:52A lot of big ones this year.

01:07:53So the nominees are John Tay Porter for getting suspended from the NBA lifetime suspension

01:08:03for betting his own props and taking himself out of games.

01:08:06Yeah.

01:08:07Uh, he hit all his, all his bets, right?

01:08:09Yeah, I think so.

01:08:10He was a pretty good gambler.

01:08:11Yeah.

01:08:12He was a good gambler.

01:08:13He was a, yeah, he, he had a system.

01:08:14He almost went tout.

01:08:15Uh, pro athletes just shouldn't be on discord like that.

01:08:18Leave it, leave, leave the discord for the nerds.

01:08:20Yeah.

01:08:21Also, what was he doing on discord?

01:08:22That he was in a gambling group and that's like, I think that's how it happened.

01:08:27They kind of like they had the receipts and they were probably the ones telling them like,

01:08:31yo, yo, come out of the game.

01:08:32We got a way to make some money.

01:08:34Also just don't get more than four rebounds.

01:08:37Right.

01:08:38It's hard for him to like, I feel like if you're a starter in the NBA and you did this,

01:08:43it'd be very hard to prove when you're John Taylor Porter.

01:08:46It's very easy to prove because he played such little minutes and no one bets his prop

01:08:50and no, that was really where it was.

01:08:52Right, right.

01:08:53And then it's a hundred thousand dollars on his prop and a random February game and he's

01:08:57coming out with a fake, uh, shoulder injury.

01:08:59Yeah.

01:09:00Every other player that is getting the minutes that he was getting would not take themselves

01:09:03out of the game for anything.

01:09:04Correct.

01:09:05It's like, I need, I need every minute.

01:09:06Correct.

01:09:07I need every minute.

01:09:08I'm promised.

01:09:09And he was just like, no, my eye hurts.

01:09:10Yeah.

01:09:11Ow, my eye.

01:09:12Uh, great excuse by the way.

01:09:13Yeah.

01:09:14Great excuse.

01:09:15Shohei Otani.

01:09:16Gambler of the year.

01:09:17Alleged.

01:09:18Mm hmm.

01:09:19Great work.

01:09:20Yes.

01:09:21Shohei's interpreter also up for gambler of the year.

01:09:22Not alleged.

01:09:23Yeah.

01:09:24The forensic accountants came back and they said that the, uh, the Ipe, right?

01:09:29Ipe.

01:09:30Ipe.

01:09:31It was all Ipe.

01:09:32Shohei had no idea whatsoever.

01:09:33But I hope that at least on the winning, so on the bets that he did win, maybe Ipe broke

01:09:38him off a little something.

01:09:39Yeah.

01:09:40Just cut him off a little something.

01:09:41Uh, Dave Portnoy is actually nominated for gambler of the year cause he had his stretch

01:09:47where he won pretty much every single bet.

01:09:49Michigan, Yukon, uh, who else?

01:09:53Celtic.

01:09:54Over a million dollars four times.

01:09:56Yeah.

01:09:57All huge underdogs.

01:09:58Insane.

01:09:59Yeah.

01:10:00I didn't have that conversation with him that it was like, this is the year of the chalk

01:10:03and I mean the hottest gambler, but that's, you know, results are results.

01:10:07Results are wrong.

01:10:08You don't, you never give back a winner.

01:10:09You never do.

01:10:10It doesn't matter.

01:10:11Yeah.

01:10:12Because when you lose people let you know about it.

01:10:13Correct.

01:10:14So you have to let them know when you get one right and you're still going to put the

01:10:15money up.

01:10:16And he had the Oilers into the, that wasn't a chalk that he had them into game seven.

01:10:21Yeah.

01:10:22Um, we have all of the lions.

01:10:25If you remember, uh, it was basically the entire lion's secondary Jameson Williams.

01:10:30Uh, they had to cut a couple guys.

01:10:33Now I still think they got screwed because all they did was they didn't bet on the NFL.

01:10:36They just logged onto their gambling account while at the lion's facility.

01:10:42You got to have an it guy who's better than that.

01:10:44Yeah.

01:10:45So the it, it's supposed to be like geofence, right?

01:10:47Yeah.

01:10:48Like if you're an it guy, you block those websites, those apps, or you just pretend

01:10:52it never happened on company property.

01:10:53Yeah.

01:10:55I don't know.

01:10:56I think it was, um, the NFL has it.

01:10:57It was the NFL.

01:10:58Yeah.

01:10:59Had it.

01:11:00So all the lions.

01:11:01Okay.

01:11:02So who do we have to present this award?

01:11:03Uh, so to present this award, we have our legend, our living legend, Stu Feiner.

01:11:07Yes.

01:11:08The winner of the 2024 TC award for best gambler is Shohei Ohtani and his interpreter, Opepe.

01:11:21I fucking love you from Stu Feiner.

01:11:26Ready to roll, ready to roll, ready to roll.

01:11:30Okay.

01:11:31Um, first of all, congratulations Shohei and his interpreter, double award.

01:11:36What happened in that video?

01:11:37Why is he next to the loudest highway ever?

01:11:40And it looks like he's in the snow.

01:11:42How did he know to record?

01:11:43It's rocks.

01:11:44I thought, I thought it was snow too at first though, but I think it's just rocks.

01:11:48So I think what it is is I think his son records a video every day.

01:11:51I know.

01:11:52And that was like muffled.

01:11:53I think his son is opening a restaurant.

01:11:56So he's like, Oh, I might as well get promotion of this highway video and a restaurant that's

01:12:01not open.

01:12:02I don't know.

01:12:03I don't know.

01:12:04I, I love Stu.

01:12:05I love Stu too.

01:12:06I don't think that's the name of the restaurant.

01:12:07Oh no, it's actually open.

01:12:08It is open.

01:12:09I don't think that's the name of the restaurant.

01:12:10It isn't?

01:12:11It's like cork and something.

01:12:12No, I think, I think his son is working in marketing for this restaurant.

01:12:16Got it.

01:12:17But he was like, got to go next to a highway.

01:12:19And so this is for marketing.

01:12:20I was hoping for the pool if we're being honest.

01:12:21I know.

01:12:22I really was too.

01:12:23God damn it.

01:12:25It's okay.

01:12:26The pool would have been great.

01:12:28Or fireworks.

01:12:30Fireworks would have been great as well.

01:12:31Or the mulch.

01:12:32If he did it on mulch day.

01:12:33Yeah.

01:12:34The fireworks video was all time.

01:12:36Can you just pull it up?

01:12:37We just play it for the people who are watching this.

01:12:41It's all time.

01:12:42It's also like the biggest firework ever.

01:12:43I don't really understand.

01:12:46Stu Feiner doesn't feel like someone who should be.

01:12:48Yeah, there it is.

01:12:49In eight days, when I blow my load tonight, this is what it's going to look like.

01:12:56In 28 days.

01:12:57Look at that back pedal.

01:12:58Yeah, the back pedal.

01:12:59Great balance.

01:13:0028 days.

01:13:01Exploded.

01:13:02That's just a bomb.

01:13:03I don't think that's fireworks.

01:13:04I think Stu just built a bomb.

01:13:05Yeah.

01:13:06Stu also just being back in our lives.

01:13:07Comforting.

01:13:08Yeah.

01:13:09Yeah.

01:13:10Yeah.

01:13:11Yeah.

01:13:12Yeah.

01:13:13Yeah.

01:13:14Yeah.

01:13:16I mean, this come football season is just such a, it's great.

01:13:18I just need him back in my life.

01:13:20Okay.

01:13:21Next up, PFT.

01:13:22Actually, why don't you do an ad and then we'll do the next award?

01:13:23Next up, we have an award coming right after this ad.

01:13:27As Big Cat said, and this show is brought to you by Shady Rays.

01:13:30I'm rocking my Shady Rays right now.

01:13:32Shady Rays are the official sunglasses sponsor of Pardon My Take.

01:13:36Get ready for the season with the official sunglasses brand of Barstool Sports at Shady

01:13:40Rays.

01:13:41Our friends have you covered with their newest, boldest premium polarized shades.

01:13:44They're kicking off the most anticipated release of 2024

01:13:47with a limited edition debut of their Rival collection.

01:13:50So the Rival is the single lens style.

01:13:53It's aggressive.

01:13:53It's barstool blue.

01:13:55It's got a premium stool and stars lens etch.

01:13:58And if you're looking for something more casual,

01:13:59the classics are also getting the barstool treatment.

01:14:02I'm rocking the classic frame right now.

01:14:04The barstool treatment features a blue frame

01:14:07with the stool and stars etched into it as well.

01:14:10Perfect for all day, everyday comfort and performance.

01:14:13They've got hundreds of options that you can choose from.

01:14:15So you're bound to find the perfect pair for your style.

01:14:17If you don't love your shades, exchange them for a new pair

01:14:20or you can return them worry-free within 30 days.

01:14:22There's no risk with Shady Rays.

01:14:24Their team always has your back

01:14:25with personal and fast support.

01:14:27Head to shadyrays.com.

01:14:28Use code PMT for 35% off polarized sunglasses.

01:14:31Try for yourself the shades that are rated five stars

01:14:34by over 300,000 people.

01:14:36Okay, PFT, what do we have next?

01:14:39We carry on in the show.

01:14:41Yes.

01:14:42With an award for the startup of the year.

01:14:44Ooh.

01:14:45Startup of the year.

01:14:47A lot of good startups this year.

01:14:49Vanny Woodhead, 2.0?

01:14:50Yes.

01:14:51I actually had that thought last night.

01:14:53Yeah, because when we got Vanny and we were like,

01:14:55what are we going to do with it?

01:14:56And you're like, don't worry, I'm going to get on it.

01:14:59It's been a while.

01:15:00Are you on it?

01:15:01No, but I'm ready to get on it.

01:15:02Oh, okay.

01:15:03You're ready to hop on it.

01:15:05After grit week.

01:15:06You're ready to get on it.

01:15:07Okay, so what was the thought that you had last night?

01:15:11That he's ready to get on it.

01:15:12Vanny Woodhead's in the fucking garage shit.

01:15:14Oh, that was your thought?

01:15:15I need to get on it.

01:15:16And you were the one who, you made the biggest mistake

01:15:18because when Vanny showed up, you took ownership.

01:15:22Did I?

01:15:23Yeah, you did.

01:15:24You said, we're going to do so many ad deals.

01:15:26We're going to do this.

01:15:27We're going to do that.

01:15:28And I said, great, whatever you want to do, I'm in.

01:15:32Sounds like you got a plan.

01:15:34And you're like, yeah, I got a plan.

01:15:36Okay, I will have a plan and I'm going to, 2025.

01:15:40That thing will be on the road, driving, souped up.

01:15:43At some point in 2025?

01:15:46Next, by next spring, summer.

01:15:49Spring, summer.

01:15:50Are you talking Jaloon?

01:15:52When we do the 2025 takeys,

01:15:56will we be able to do some of it from Vanny Woodhead?

01:15:59Yes, I mean, we could do some right now.

01:16:00No, I should have phrased it differently.

01:16:03Some of it from Vanny Woodhead on the highway.

01:16:05Yes.

01:16:06Okay.

01:16:07This is just Hank's preemptive take of the year.

01:16:09Yeah, Vanny Woodhead is going to be ready to go.

01:16:12You don't believe me, Max?

01:16:14No, I believe more in this than you're dunking, for sure.

01:16:19I'll give him that.

01:16:20I think that's a very fair thing to say.

01:16:22Yeah, I think there's.

01:16:23Because you can switch out parts on the car.

01:16:24It's way more likely that this gets done than the dunk.

01:16:27Yeah, for sure.

01:16:29But the fact that you're saying 2025

01:16:31doesn't give me a lot of confidence.

01:16:32Well, no, we have to get it fixed.

01:16:34No, it's like I have to find someone.

01:16:35Stop saying we.

01:16:37Wait, wait, who owns it?

01:16:40No one.

01:16:41Oh.

01:16:41Literally, it doesn't exist.

01:16:42Well, that part, I'm not.

01:16:43You got to do the administration.

01:16:44No, no, no.

01:16:45What?

01:16:46No.

01:16:47Wait, what did administration, I don't.

01:16:48Absolutely not.

01:16:50You are, you.

01:16:51You were the one that got it back here.

01:16:53No, I didn't.

01:16:54No, I didn't.

01:16:55I did not, I had nothing to do with it getting back here.

01:16:58Zero.

01:16:59The last I had to do with Vanny Woodhead

01:17:01was I was paying like hundreds of dollars in insurance

01:17:05and I gave it to Billy.

01:17:06And I said, get it off my insurance

01:17:09and get it off the road and go to a chop shop.

01:17:11And he said, done.

01:17:13And then it came back to life

01:17:14because he just never did that.

01:17:15Shocker.

01:17:17And then everything from that moment,

01:17:18I have not had anything to do with.

01:17:21Where have I had anything to do with it?

01:17:22Why did it just spawn here?

01:17:23Why are you defending it so much?

01:17:25I'm not, I just.

01:17:27You took responsibility for Vanny, fact or fiction?

01:17:30Fact-ish.

01:17:31I had said my goodbyes.

01:17:34Fact-ish.

01:17:36Okay, well.

01:17:37But I'm ready to now fully take full responsibility

01:17:41going forward.

01:17:42This is like.

01:17:43And by 2025, it'll be on the road driving.

01:17:45Memes, you gotta get.

01:17:46But you guys are gonna have to do stuff in it.

01:17:47You gotta get the Adam Silver meme going.

01:17:50It's to Hubie, get ready to learn how titles work, buddy.

01:17:55Because you're 100% just throwing this at him.

01:17:59I'm gonna get it fixed first, but.

01:18:01Okay.

01:18:02You're gonna get it fixed before you get it.

01:18:04I don't know.

01:18:05Administrative, I'm not the most administrative guy.

01:18:08I can figure out getting it fixed, getting it sold,

01:18:11and getting it like.

01:18:12I'm pretty confident that Hubie's gonna be pretty good

01:18:14at the administrative stuff.

01:18:15Yeah, me too, me too.

01:18:16He's gonna be really good.

01:18:17He's gonna be running all over the city.

01:18:19Yeah.

01:18:19It doesn't sound, here's my concern.

01:18:21Maybe we turn into the Pugmobile.

01:18:22It doesn't sound like Hank's excited

01:18:24about Vanny Woodhead anymore.

01:18:25Like I am.

01:18:26No, I am.

01:18:27I just kind of forgot about it.

01:18:29Till last night.

01:18:30Yeah, I had like the, shit.

01:18:34There's a car in there.

01:18:35But the potential is still there.

01:18:38Yeah, okay.

01:18:39That's all that matters.

01:18:40So start up the year of Vanny Woodhead.

01:18:41I guess that's for next year then.

01:18:42Yeah.

01:18:43That would be the startup for 2025.

01:18:46Yeah.

01:18:46It's not an overnight thing.

01:18:47Rome wasn't built in a day.

01:18:49Or months.

01:18:51Yeah, we got five months.

01:18:54How long did it take to build Rome?

01:18:57I don't know.

01:18:59No one really says.

01:19:00I don't know, I don't really think about the Roman Empire.

01:19:02Yeah.

01:19:03But yeah, Hank, listen.

01:19:05You've had months already.

01:19:07But what concerns me is you immediately punted to 2025.

01:19:11Yeah, spring, summer-ish.

01:19:13I don't know how many construction products

01:19:15you guys have been a part of,

01:19:16but it's not like something that you can just.

01:19:18You haven't seen that van?

01:19:19You gave yourself a year deadline.

01:19:23Six months.

01:19:24No, you said spring, summer-ish.

01:19:28That could be August.

01:19:29June 9th was the arrival of Vanny Woodhead.

01:19:32All right, so by June 9th, 2025.

01:19:34Okay, so it's the anniversary.

01:19:35That's fair.

01:19:36Got it.

01:19:37Startup of the Year nominee,

01:19:38Booper, a social media app for dogs.

01:19:40Oh.

01:19:41Where dogs can connect and become friends

01:19:42with each other on there, great idea.

01:19:44I like that.

01:19:45Not to be confused with Blooper, that fat fuck.

01:19:47And then the final Startup of the Year nominee

01:19:49is Darren Revelle's new business, Klit.

01:19:52Oh.

01:19:53Klit, it's the collectibles licensing, that brand.

01:19:55It's Klit.

01:19:56It's called Klit.

01:19:57On the stock market, it's Klit.

01:19:58Yeah, the logo, when you look at it, it's Klit.

01:20:00Klit.

01:20:02All right, so Darren Revelle's Klit is nominated

01:20:03for Startup of the Year as well.

01:20:04Okay.

01:20:05And the winner is.

01:20:06Yeah.

01:20:08Darren Revelle's Klit.

01:20:09Yeah!

01:20:10Congratulations, Darren Revelle.

01:20:12Darren Revelle doesn't.

01:20:13He finally won a takey for the Klit.

01:20:15I do love that he doesn't think about sex so much

01:20:18that he didn't even think for a second

01:20:20it looked like Klit, because it does.

01:20:21Yeah, it looks exactly like Klit.

01:20:23The name is Klit.

01:20:24The logo is Klit.

01:20:25Yeah, and it never even dawned on him.

01:20:27Or Revelle's never seen one.

01:20:28No.

01:20:29Okay, congrats to Darren.

01:20:31I think that might be his first take.

01:20:32He's probably won a takey before.

01:20:33Oh yeah.

01:20:35Next up is a big one.

01:20:37Plane Passenger of the Year.

01:20:40We had a big year in plane travel.

01:20:43Plane riding?

01:20:44Plane riding.

01:20:45So, the nominees are

01:20:49our own Max Delente for his two sodas.

01:20:54Burrito.

01:20:55Burrito.

01:20:55Techno music.

01:20:56Farts.

01:20:58Honestly, the techno music is maybe

01:21:01one of the more wild wrinkles of that whole story.

01:21:03He's just hungover as hell.

01:21:05Blasting techno.

01:21:06I was just, I think it was.

01:21:07You can't move.

01:21:08You can't like, he's having like.

01:21:10I was just vibing.

01:21:12Having some mental party on a plane

01:21:14while you're hungover as shit.

01:21:16I kind of want, like, I kind of want now.

01:21:18She's got to mind her own business

01:21:19a little bit on that plane.

01:21:20Just worry about yourself.

01:21:22I kind of want now to like have,

01:21:25we should have Max create like a techno album.

01:21:30And have it.

01:21:30Yeah, have it, call it like

01:21:32burrito, techno, two sodas, and farts.

01:21:36Finance, six I's, two I's.

01:21:39You could do it, Max.

01:21:40All right, so Max is nominated.

01:21:42DJs, hit me up.

01:21:44Our good friend, not girlfriend of Hank,

01:21:49Tiffany Gomez.

01:21:51Yeah, congratulations, Tiffany.

01:21:52She was an incredible plane passenger this year.

01:21:55And she's been a great plane passenger since then.

01:21:58Yes.

01:21:59I mean, everyone talks about the time she got kicked off.

01:22:00No one talks about all the successful flights

01:22:02that she's had.

01:22:03Yeah, what the fuck?

01:22:04Since that happened.

01:22:04Yeah, all the times that it hasn't gone that poorly.

01:22:06And then finally, the guy pissing

01:22:09with the weirdest grip ever.

01:22:11He was told that he couldn't use the bathroom

01:22:14upon takeoff and he just started pissing

01:22:16in the middle of the aisle.

01:22:17That guy rocks.

01:22:18Can I say something controversial?

01:22:21Yeah.

01:22:22I understand where he's coming from.

01:22:24Oh, that's not controversial at all.

01:22:25Okay, okay, good.

01:22:26The only-

01:22:27I don't.

01:22:28I understand.

01:22:28There have been times in the past year

01:22:30where we're in the plane,

01:22:33the plane is yet to reach its cruising altitude,

01:22:36seatbelt lights on, and I gotta go really bad.

01:22:39Like really, really bad.

01:22:40Emergency level.

01:22:41And I've been told, no, go back to your seat.

01:22:44I did not pull my penis out and pee

01:22:46onto the aisle of the plane.

01:22:48But I'd be lying if the thought didn't occur

01:22:50to me to do that.

01:22:51If you get up and then get told to sit down,

01:22:53because I feel like-

01:22:54I have.

01:22:55If you really had to go,

01:22:55especially if he was in the first row,

01:22:58you can basically just look the other way

01:23:00from the flight attendant and just get in the bathroom.

01:23:02So when you come out, you're in trouble,

01:23:04but you're-

01:23:05Yeah, at least you've done it.

01:23:05If worst case scenario,

01:23:06like that's only in an emergency situation,

01:23:08but you kind of have to like,

01:23:11if you really, worst case emergency,

01:23:14like you could make it happen.

01:23:15There was a flight that-

01:23:16Without having to like, you know.

01:23:17I know that Hank was on this flight with me.

01:23:19I don't know if Big Cat or Max were,

01:23:21but I remember making eye contact with Hank on this flight.

01:23:23And we got delayed on the tarmac for like 30 minutes.

01:23:27I got up after like 20,

01:23:28because I'm like, I got to take a piss.

01:23:30So I get up and I get told no.

01:23:32They're like, go sit back down.

01:23:33We turn the seatbelt light on.

01:23:34We're about to take off.

01:23:35And so I'm like, okay, I guess I'll just listen to you.

01:23:38I turn around, go back to the seat,

01:23:39wait there another like 20 minutes passes.

01:23:42Yep.

01:23:42And I get up again.

01:23:43And the flight attendant's like, please stop.

01:23:46And I was like, it's an emergency.

01:23:48I got to go.

01:23:49And so I just walked past her, went to the bathroom,

01:23:51peed, came out.

01:23:52Then 10 minutes later we took off,

01:23:53but she was trying to,

01:23:54she was holding my piss hostage at that point.

01:23:57That should be included on the passenger's bill of rights.

01:23:59Like if you got to go, you got to go.

01:24:01Agreed.

01:24:02Yeah.

01:24:02The only thing that,

01:24:03the only mistake this gentleman made was-

01:24:06I would just piss my pants and knock out in the felony.

01:24:08Yeah, the pissing your pants,

01:24:09registering as a sex offender probably.

01:24:11Yeah.

01:24:12Not good.

01:24:13Not worth it.

01:24:14Not good.

01:24:15So to present plane passenger of the year,

01:24:18we have our good friend, Jerry O'Connell.

01:24:21Hello, I'm Jerry O'Connell, actor, TV presenter, and AWL.

01:24:26I am here today to name the winner of the 2024 takey

01:24:30for passenger of the year.

01:24:32Without further ado, the winner is, wow, Tiffany Gomez.

01:24:40To accept the award for Tiffany is me, Jerry O'Connell,

01:24:44actor, TV presenter, and AWL.

01:24:48Tiffany gave me a message to convey to the world,

01:24:52but I would personally like to take a moment

01:24:54and convey a message of my own to you, Tiffany Gomez.

01:25:00Tiffany, to fully comprehend the impact you've made,

01:25:03we need to start around 3500 BC

01:25:06with the invention of the wheel.

01:25:08Around 2000 BC, humans began using horses for travel.

01:25:121783 AD, the hot air balloon.

01:25:15Around 1800, the first seam locomotives,

01:25:18automobiles later in the 1800s.

01:25:19And in 1903, the Wright brothers

01:25:23made their first controlled flight.

01:25:26There was some space travel after that

01:25:28that we'll skip past because we need to get

01:25:30to that fateful day of July 2nd, 2023,

01:25:35the day passenger transport changed forever.

01:25:40On July 2nd, Tiffany boarded flight 1009

01:25:44from Dallas-Fort Worth to Orlando

01:25:46when a family member stole Tiffany's AirPods

01:25:48and Tiffany told us, that motherfucker was not real.

01:25:53There was a reason Tiffany was getting the fuck off

01:25:56and they can believe it or they cannot believe it.

01:25:58Tiffany doesn't give two fucks,

01:25:59but Tiffany was telling us right then

01:26:01that that motherfucker, that motherfucker

01:26:03back there was not real.

01:26:05We thank you, Tiffany.

01:26:07We thank you for warning everyone.

01:26:09I mean, yeah, everyone did have to deplane

01:26:11and go through security again.

01:26:13The flight was delayed like three hours.

01:26:15We could have had two sodas in that time,

01:26:16but we want you to have this takey

01:26:19for passenger of the year.

01:26:21Finally, I'd like to speak to Hank.

01:26:23Hanky, you blew it.

01:26:27You could have been with Tiffany,

01:26:28the 2024 takey winner, but you blew it, bing bong.

01:26:32Huey's WNBA takes are better than your whale takes,

01:26:35bing bong.

01:26:36You eat scrambled eggs like a child,

01:26:38you call them scrambies, bing bong.

01:26:41Your boat driving sucks.

01:26:42Take another class, Hanky.

01:26:44You can't do multiplication tables.

01:26:47Pay your taxes, Hanky, bing bong.

01:26:49Stop talking about the duck boat.

01:26:51No one cares.

01:26:52Summer of Hank is almost over.

01:26:54Give Tiffany her AirPods back.

01:26:56Bing bong, your short game sucks.

01:27:00That's it, guys.

01:27:04Sorry, guys, it's more of a podcast, it's a joke.

01:27:06It makes no sense.

01:27:07J-O-C, the legend.

01:27:08He's awesome.

01:27:09Congrats to Tiffany Gomez.

01:27:11Well-deserved, well-earned.

01:27:12He was so, so excited to present that award to her.

01:27:14Yes, no one better than him and Tiffany Gomez.

01:27:18Hank.

01:27:20Yes.

01:27:21Actually, I have no more questions about Tiffany Gomez.

01:27:22Would you like to accept it on her behalf?

01:27:23Yes.

01:27:25But knowing that if you accept it on her behalf,

01:27:28you have to at some point give it to her.

01:27:30Yes, I'll accept it on her behalf.

01:27:31I love that, I love that, I love that.

01:27:33I'm honored as her representative.

01:27:35Nice.

01:27:36And you can't wait to give it to her.

01:27:37And I can't wait to present this award to her.

01:27:40Yes.

01:27:41Again?

01:27:43I can't wait to present this award to her.

01:27:45Okay.

01:27:46Next up, we have the partnership of the year.

01:27:48Oh.

01:27:49Big year for partnerships this year.

01:27:52The nominees are.

01:27:58Go on.

01:27:59The Live PGA Partnership.

01:28:00Yes.

01:28:01We're taking steps, we're mending fences,

01:28:03we're coming up with agreements.

01:28:04There was a demand letter, I think.

01:28:06There was an outline that was put into place

01:28:08and agreed upon.

01:28:09But they are partnered.

01:28:10They are partnered, and they're getting closer

01:28:11to a true partnership.

01:28:12Okay.

01:28:14Also nominated for partnership of the year,

01:28:16Hank and Tiffany Gomez.

01:28:17Oh!

01:28:18They've been nominated.

01:28:20Also nominated for partnership of the year,

01:28:23Hank and Max in Mount Rushmore season.

01:28:25Oh, a contentious Mount Rushmore season

01:28:27that did not go well.

01:28:28It's a good partnership.

01:28:29It was also great, the highlight was when Max

01:28:31went on vacation and blew it for our whole team.

01:28:33No, when Hank blamed Max for sucking

01:28:35and then Hank went on vacation and Max

01:28:37brought him all the way back.

01:28:38He went on vacation and then I won like three in a row

01:28:41and then I went on vacation and we lost everyone.

01:28:44But in Hank's defense, he was hungover that one time

01:28:47we had to do a Mount Rushmore at 8 p.m. on a Sunday.

01:28:50That was your fault, that was your fault.

01:28:53Which is a weekend.

01:28:54It's a weekend.

01:28:56I think that's where the debate started.

01:28:57It did, yeah.

01:28:58Also nominated.

01:28:59And we did like three Mount Rushmore, whatever.

01:29:00Oh no, God.

01:29:02Let's relive the game.

01:29:03It's a clock in and put a hard day's work in

01:29:06at the podcasting factory.

01:29:08That was also, Hank last summer, he was summer Hank.

01:29:11Last summer, it was great.

01:29:12Last summer was amazing.

01:29:14Yeah, because you had that month where I hadn't moved yet.

01:29:16No one was here and we just did the podcast

01:29:20and that was it.

01:29:20Yeah, just ripped it up.

01:29:22Also nominated for partnership of the year,

01:29:24we have Hank and Joe Mazzuola.

01:29:26Oh.

01:29:27Good partner, rubbing honey on each other.

01:29:29Not on speaking terms right now.

01:29:30No, it's okay.

01:29:32It doesn't say red?

01:29:34No, I just delivered.

01:29:37Also nominated for partnership of the year,

01:29:39we have Hank and Golf.

01:29:40Ah.

01:29:42Good partnership.

01:29:43One of the best partnerships.

01:29:44One loves the other a little bit more though.

01:29:46Yeah.

01:29:46I feel like it's one-sided.

01:29:47There's a promising future.

01:29:48I think there's buy-in now.

01:29:50As long as you don't golf on camera.

01:29:53Even that though, I'm due.

01:29:54It's really the on camera that you're bad at.

01:29:55I'm due.

01:29:56I'm happy to have bad film out there

01:29:58because then when I get good,

01:29:59it's going to be that much sweeter.

01:30:00Okay, also nominated for partnership of the year,

01:30:02Hank and Gravity.

01:30:05Keeping them down.

01:30:07That one's kind of dragging you down.

01:30:08That one you can sell.

01:30:08Yeah.

01:30:09Yeah, sell that one.

01:30:10Okay.

01:30:11And the winner of partnership of the year

01:30:13goes to the Live PGA Tour.

01:30:16Oh, congratulations to the Live PGA Tour.

01:30:20Yeah.

01:30:21And PFT explained to me what their partnership is now?

01:30:25Their partnership is that they have an outline

01:30:26that they've agreed to and an arrangement

01:30:29and a skeleton clause that they've put in

01:30:31and it seems like things are progressing.

01:30:34Wow.

01:30:35It's like the same organization right now.

01:30:36Yeah.

01:30:37Who do you think would be like more nerve wracking

01:30:39to sit next to on a plane?

01:30:41The founders of the Live Tour or Tiffany?

01:30:45All time bad passengers.

01:30:47Live.

01:30:48Live.

01:30:49Probably, yeah.

01:30:49Not all time, one time.

01:30:51Well, it was a pretty big day in American history, Hank.

01:30:56Come on, Hank.

01:30:57I'm talking about Tiffany.

01:30:58Oh, man, you're talking about, oh, okay, all right.

01:31:01Okay, congrats to Live and PGA.

01:31:03Next up, we have a very special award.

01:31:06It is Ratio of the Year,

01:31:07one of our favorite awards to give out every single year.

01:31:11I will read the tweets

01:31:12and also tell you what the quote tweets are

01:31:14for Ratio of the Year.

01:31:16The nominees are Jonathan Ross who said,

01:31:21prediction, AI will displace social drinking

01:31:25within five years just as alcohol is a social disinhibitor

01:31:30like the Steve Martin movie, Roxanne.

01:31:32People will use AI-powered earbuds to help them socialize.

01:31:36At first, we'll view it as creepy,

01:31:38but it will quickly become superior to alcohol.

01:31:40So five years, no more beer.

01:31:43We're just gonna be robots.

01:31:44We're just gonna wear ear pods.

01:31:45Yeah, that sounds awful.

01:31:462.6 thousand quote tweets.

01:31:49This guy sounds like he just smashes the AI button

01:31:52for every product, for every problem that he has.

01:31:54Yeah, 7.7 million views on that one.

01:31:57That one was quite something.

01:32:00This one is just funny because it was,

01:32:04a woman said, the flex I like to see,

01:32:08and it was a kid holding a sign that said,

01:32:11I read 1,000 books, 1,000 books club before kindergarten.

01:32:15So it's a five-year-old.

01:32:17Yeah, is that, I don't know.

01:32:19I'm not an expert on kids.

01:32:21Do they typically read before kindergarten?

01:32:23No, they don't know how to read before kindergarten,

01:32:24but the ratio is, so this person tweeted it.

01:32:30They had 67 million views, 5,000 quote tweets on it,

01:32:34and the best quote tweet was someone said,

01:32:36no footage, just a piece of paper.

01:32:38He a fraud like Wilt.

01:32:40Talking about Wilt Chamberlain.

01:32:42I love that.

01:32:43A great, great, great reply.

01:32:45Next up we have the quote tweet of our coworkers

01:32:54winning a championship,

01:32:57the Boston Celtics fans in the office,

01:33:00who had, for the 18th time,

01:33:02the Boston Celtics are NBA champions

01:33:04as everyone just shakes hands

01:33:05like they're coming off of the 18th hole.

01:33:08I've already been there before.

01:33:0922 million views, 3,200 quote tweets,

01:33:14and one of the best one is,

01:33:15perfect example of why spoiled franchises

01:33:17across all sports don't deserve to win.

01:33:19I've celebrated first downs harder than this.

01:33:21Yeah, there were a lot of people saying,

01:33:22like, I've celebrated a touchdown for my backup

01:33:25running back in the fantasy league harder than this.

01:33:27Yeah.

01:33:28It does infuriate me,

01:33:30looking at how much success Boston sports has

01:33:32where this is how they celebrate a championship.

01:33:34Yeah, so that was quite something.

01:33:36This one is anonymous.

01:33:39It has 9,600 quote tweets, 38 million views.

01:33:46It says, if Taylor Swift is gonna be taking over our Sundays

01:33:48I'm gonna need to see a sex tape.

01:33:50These are my demands at part of my take.

01:33:52Okay.

01:33:53I don't recognize who that is in the video.

01:33:54Who is this guy?

01:33:56Yeah, I don't recognize it.

01:33:56He looks like he's carrying on.

01:33:58Who's that guy?

01:33:59Credit to me for not deleting it.

01:34:00Yeah, you gotta leave it up.

01:34:01Gotta leave it up because if you take it down

01:34:03then the terrorists will have won.

01:34:04Yeah, exactly.

01:34:0538 million views.

01:34:08Last one.

01:34:09This one is from the storyteller.

01:34:11She said, Keanu Reeves would totally shit himself

01:34:13if anyone actually tried to kill him,

01:34:15let alone thousands of evil hit men.

01:34:18He's just a makeup wearing salesman

01:34:20and what he's selling are lies.

01:34:22Violence isn't sexy, death isn't easy

01:34:25and karma won't get you.

01:34:27Keanu, try selling truth.

01:34:29Try selling truth, Keanu.

01:34:30Stop acting.

01:34:31Yeah, 16,000 quote tweets.

01:34:33That's pretty good.

01:34:34Hank, that kind of blew your mind.

01:34:361,600, sorry.

01:34:36Did you not realize that Keanu Reeves was an actor?

01:34:39No, I mean, that's just, I can't believe

01:34:40that someone would come to that conclusion

01:34:42or that's how they would feel after watching John Wick.

01:34:44Yeah.

01:34:45Yeah, sometimes.

01:34:46This isn't real.

01:34:47Yeah, it's a good reminder.

01:34:48Just some people need to turn their brains off sometimes.

01:34:51Yes, that would be true.

01:34:52Mr. McConnell taught me that.

01:34:53It's a movie.

01:34:55It is a movie.

01:34:56Yeah, fact.

01:34:57Actually, movies.

01:34:58The ratio of the year,

01:35:01you know, we were gonna give it to the Celtics fans,

01:35:03but I'm looking at these numbers.

01:35:04Do I have to take it?

01:35:05I had 10,000 quote tweets.

01:35:07That's a lot of quote tweets.

01:35:09Okay, I-

01:35:10For the record, Big Cat,

01:35:12do you want to see a sex tape?

01:35:14No.

01:35:16Would you watch a sex tape?

01:35:17Yes.

01:35:18I think if a sex tape was put in front of you,

01:35:21I honestly, if you took any male and any female

01:35:26and had a sex tape and you said,

01:35:28here are these people having sex and just showed it to me,

01:35:30I would look regardless of who it was.

01:35:32Yeah.

01:35:33If it was in front of me.

01:35:34Yes.

01:35:35So do I have to give it to myself?

01:35:36Yeah.

01:35:37I didn't want to just because I didn't want to

01:35:38start it all over again.

01:35:40Yeah.

01:35:40Okay, so I won.

01:35:42Ratio of the year.

01:35:43Yeah.

01:35:44I think I got ratio-dabbed.

01:35:47I got ratioed to hell.

01:35:48Congratulations.

01:35:49Holy fuck.

01:35:50When Meme sent me that, he's like,

01:35:51I'm sorry about what I'm about to send.

01:35:53And I hadn't thought about it for probably four months.

01:35:56Yeah.

01:35:57And I looked at it and I was like,

01:35:58oh my God, the numbers are staggering.

01:36:00Now did you, do you think you gained followers

01:36:03or lost followers?

01:36:04Lost probably.

01:36:05Yeah.

01:36:05Probably lost.

01:36:06Yeah.

01:36:07Hey, listen, we all say things.

01:36:10We do.

01:36:11I stand by it.

01:36:12I stand by it.

01:36:13You know what, Big Cat?

01:36:14Because you were acting in that clip.

01:36:16Try selling truth instead.

01:36:17That's true.

01:36:18If a gunman came to, if someone came to me and said,

01:36:21hey, you gotta be on a sex tape,

01:36:22I probably would be like, I come too fast.

01:36:26Self-truth.

01:36:27Yeah.

01:36:28Okay, what do we have next?

01:36:29Next up, we have the WNBA Rookie of the Year.

01:36:31Oh my God.

01:36:32There's a lot of good options here.

01:36:33We've never given this award.

01:36:35No, it's the first time ever.

01:36:36Thank you to Caitlin Clarke for growing the game.

01:36:37Or thank you to Angel Reese.

01:36:38Or thank you to whoever.

01:36:40Or thank you to Cameron Brink.

01:36:41Oh.

01:36:42Those are the nominees.

01:36:43Oh.

01:36:45Caitlin Clarke, Angel Reese,

01:36:46people watch the WNBA for her too,

01:36:48and Cameron Brink are the nominees.

01:36:50And the winner of the WNBA Rookie of the Year award

01:36:54is Cameron Brink.

01:36:55Wow.

01:36:56Cameron Brink, I think she has grown the game.

01:36:58And Huey, you're a WNBA expert.

01:37:01How has Cameron Brink been playing?

01:37:03She's hurt.

01:37:04Oh.

01:37:05Yeah, but.

01:37:06But like only day to day?

01:37:07But think about this.

01:37:07The rest of the season.

01:37:08Oh, rest of the season?

01:37:09But think about this, Big Cat.

01:37:10But the first few games she had.

01:37:12Incredible.

01:37:13Ratings are so high right now.

01:37:15And that's with Cameron Brink injured.

01:37:17Imagine what they're gonna be when she comes back.

01:37:19That's true.

01:37:20And the fits she's been getting off.

01:37:22I did also like the memes that went out

01:37:24about Cameron Brink.

01:37:24Those were funny.

01:37:26People were finding all kinds of pictures

01:37:28of small men and large women.

01:37:32You guys know what I'm talking about.

01:37:33What was the impressive part of her season?

01:37:37She was on fire to start?

01:37:39Yeah, she was just a very good rookie.

01:37:41Very similar to Angel Reese

01:37:42in how she played and her numbers.

01:37:44A little bit better shooter.

01:37:45She was great at Stanford.

01:37:48Well, I also think, didn't she make,

01:37:50I think she made the Olympic team before Caitlin Clark did.

01:37:52Yeah.

01:37:53It was the three-on-three team.

01:37:54Yeah.

01:37:55Yeah, that's a fact.

01:37:56She should be representing this country right now.

01:37:57All right, Cameron Brink is our WNBA Rookie of the Year.

01:38:00Congratulations to her.

01:38:02Yes.

01:38:02How tall is she?

01:38:03She's like 6'2"?

01:38:05Well, how tall is she?

01:38:066'4"?

01:38:076'4".

01:38:07Yeah, she's a 4.

01:38:08Oh, man.

01:38:09And how tall is her guy?

01:38:10I don't know, actually.

01:38:12Good question.

01:38:13Yeah.

01:38:14How tall are you, Huey?

01:38:15Six on the dot.

01:38:16Oh.

01:38:17On the dot.

01:38:18Good for you.

01:38:19Is that, wait, when you say six on the dot,

01:38:21you can't actually be six on the dot.

01:38:22No, without shoes.

01:38:246.01.

01:38:26I don't.

01:38:27Okay.

01:38:28All right, all right, all right, all right.

01:38:29I'm up for debate.

01:38:30All right.

01:38:31Okay, okay.

01:38:32Back to back.

01:38:33Back to back.

01:38:34All right, next up, we have

01:38:37the Ruth Conda Forever Award Takea of the Year.

01:38:43This is, now this is our coworker, Kevin.

01:38:46Kevin Clancy started this when we had

01:38:48the famous Ruth Conda tweet that went viral,

01:38:51I think it was four or five years ago.

01:38:54It read, just told my 10-year-old daughter

01:38:57about RBG with his Ruth Bader Ginsburg

01:39:01when she passed away.

01:39:02What's this?

01:39:03First I'm hearing of this.

01:39:04Yeah, she, what was the song playing?

01:39:08Fuck, it was like hilarious.

01:39:09When he's on the tarmac?

01:39:10Yeah.

01:39:11It's a great clip.

01:39:12It was like Rocket Man or something?

01:39:13Yeah, it was Rocket Man.

01:39:13Yeah, I think it was Rocket Man.

01:39:14All right, so just told my 10-year-old daughter

01:39:16about RBG, she had tears in her eyes,

01:39:18and then she did the Wakanda pose

01:39:20and said Ruth Conda forever,

01:39:22which is the sort of pop culture crossover

01:39:24that I can celebrate.

01:39:25I love that.

01:39:26So this award is for people who basically

01:39:27just go online and lie about what their kids say

01:39:30in terms of politics,

01:39:31because they're too scared to say it themselves.

01:39:32The lowest of the low.

01:39:34Imagine having a fictional child say something online.

01:39:37The lowest of the low.

01:39:39So the nominees this year, we have some good,

01:39:41we have three great nominees.

01:39:43One happened just recently.

01:39:46This is from Jojo from JERS.

01:39:47She said, I told my 11-year-old daughter

01:39:50that Joe had dropped out,

01:39:51and she started to cry and threw her tears.

01:39:53She asked, so who will run now?

01:39:56And I said, Kamala.

01:39:58And then she shouted, fuck yes.

01:40:01That's so true.

01:40:03And it's so sweet.

01:40:04So true.

01:40:06She's one of those Twitter accounts

01:40:07that she has to be online all the time.

01:40:09She has to have notifications set up for every tweet,

01:40:12no matter what part of the news ecosystem it comes from.

01:40:16If it's politics, sports, weather,

01:40:19she's always the first reply to it.

01:40:21Wild move.

01:40:23The next is from Ellie NYC.

01:40:26She said, or he, I don't know.

01:40:28Ellie, she?

01:40:30One L?

01:40:31Ellie?

01:40:32E-L-I-E?

01:40:33Ellie Schmidt?

01:40:34Yeah.

01:40:35My kid just said it's sad to watch a pack of lies

01:40:38beat a good person just because the good person can't speak.

01:40:42Talking about Joe Biden versus Donald Trump

01:40:44and their debate.

01:40:45That's a fair point.

01:40:46You can't lie if you can't talk.

01:40:47Yeah.

01:40:48And Ellie replied, I literally just gave him a hug

01:40:52and said that debates don't matter.

01:40:55Turns out debates do matter.

01:40:56They do a lot.

01:40:57They matter a lot.

01:40:58It's kind of where you talk about things.

01:41:01All fell apart.

01:41:02Yeah.

01:41:03Yeah.

01:41:04Okay, so, and then the last one is from Rebecca Hazleton.

01:41:09She said, everyone dies one day, everyone,

01:41:12even wolves, but not books, not words.

01:41:16Words don't die.

01:41:17My son, three, who is a lot smarter than I am.

01:41:25Words don't die.

01:41:26There's the, I have a three-year-old.

01:41:27I don't think three-year-olds know what death is.

01:41:29A three-year-old's never constructed this type of sentence.

01:41:32Yeah.

01:41:33Like, let alone the death part, the sentence.

01:41:35Yeah, no, three-year-old,

01:41:36my son started talking to me about death

01:41:37around four and a half.

01:41:38My three-year-old has no idea.

01:41:40But again, let me read it.

01:41:41This is from a three-year-old.

01:41:43Everyone dies one day, everyone.

01:41:45Everyone.

01:41:46Everyone.

01:41:47Yeah, let me do it in a kid's voice.

01:41:49Everyone dies one day, everyone,

01:41:52even wolves, but not books, not words.

01:41:56Words don't die.

01:42:00What the fuck?

01:42:02Why did, this is bad parenting.

01:42:04Why did you teach your three-year-old that wolves die?

01:42:06Seriously?

01:42:08And that everyone dies?

01:42:09Yeah, I don't want to know that when I'm three.

01:42:10No, hell no.

01:42:12Okay, so Ruth Conda Forever, which is,

01:42:15I'm happy we added this category.

01:42:16Shout out, Kevin.

01:42:17And the winner is, for the Ruth Conda Forever Takey Award,

01:42:23it's Rebecca Hazelton.

01:42:25Everyone dies one day, everyone,

01:42:27even wolves, but not books, not words.

01:42:30Words don't die.

01:42:31My son, three, who is a lot smarter than I am.

01:42:35Wolves die.

01:42:36Wolves die.

01:42:37But not words.

01:42:38So we taped the Takeys over two days,

01:42:40so a little out of order at points.

01:42:42And I tried to coach my three-year-old

01:42:46to say this whole thing.

01:42:48And I sent you guys a video,

01:42:49and she got the last sentence,

01:42:52and it wasn't even correct.

01:42:53Yeah, it was like, I think she said words.

01:42:56Yeah, words.

01:42:57It proves yet again that this is

01:42:59the most bullshit thing ever.

01:43:00I was saying the words to her,

01:43:02feeding her lines, and she couldn't get it.

01:43:04If you do have a child, though, is that eloquent?

01:43:06What a content goldmine that would be.

01:43:08Yeah, seriously.

01:43:09You can just retire right now.

01:43:10Yeah.

01:43:14Quick break from the Takeys.

01:43:15Talk about our friends at Factor Meals.

01:43:18I have been a Factor Meal guy for a very long time.

01:43:20Actually, before Factor Meals came on as a advertiser,

01:43:24I got them, because they are the best.

01:43:26You can change your menu every single week.

01:43:29They send you fresh meals.

01:43:31You put them in your refrigerator,

01:43:33then you pop them out,

01:43:34put them in the microwave for three minutes,

01:43:36and boom, you're ready to go.

01:43:37You get your shipment every single week.

01:43:39It's super easy.

01:43:40They're Factor Fresh, never frozen meals.

01:43:43They're dietician approved and ready to go

01:43:45in just two minutes.

01:43:46So no matter how busy you are,

01:43:47you'll always have time to enjoy nutritious,

01:43:49great-tasting meals.

01:43:51Kids love them, too, with 35 different meals

01:43:55and more than 60 add-ons to choose from.

01:43:56Every week, you'll always have new flavors to explore.

01:43:59You can get dinners, you can get lunches,

01:44:00you can get breakfasts, you can get everything.

01:44:02Crush your wellness goals this month

01:44:04with dietician approved meals and ingredients

01:44:06that you can trust.

01:44:07Treat yourself to restaurant quality meals

01:44:09that feature premium ingredients

01:44:11like filet mignon, shrimp, and blackened salmon.

01:44:14Head to factormeals.com slash PMT50

01:44:17and use code PMT50 to get 50% off your first box,

01:44:21plus 20% off your next month.

01:44:24That's code PMT50 at factormeals.com slash PMT

01:44:27to get 50% off your first box,

01:44:29plus 20% off your next month

01:44:31while your subscription is active.

01:44:34Okay, let's get back to the takey.

01:44:38The 20th award that we're giving out this year

01:44:40is for the 17th best quarterback of the year.

01:44:43Whoa!

01:44:44First annual, I think we're going to repeat this next year.

01:44:46Yes.

01:44:47It seems like a good category.

01:44:47Yes.

01:44:48The 2024 takey nominees for 17th best quarterback

01:44:52of the year are Kirk Cousins.

01:44:55Oh, could Kirk win this?

01:44:5817th best quarterback?

01:44:59That's just past half, yeah, yeah.

01:45:03Deshaun Watson.

01:45:05Oh.

01:45:06He might've been worse than that, actually.

01:45:08Yeah.

01:45:09I think we had him in the 20s.

01:45:10Okay.

01:45:11Gardner Minshew.

01:45:12That feels about right for Gardner.

01:45:15Yep, I feel like he could win this.

01:45:16Geno Smith and Dak Prescott.

01:45:23And the winner of the first annual

01:45:2617th best quarterback of the year award is Dak Prescott.

01:45:29Wow!

01:45:30Congrats, Dak.

01:45:31Congrats.

01:45:32Now, we didn't do this award

01:45:34just so that we could put it on a logo and post it, did we?

01:45:38No, we grinded through hours and hours of tape.

01:45:40We watched every throw that he made

01:45:42going back to Mississippi State.

01:45:43We watched everything about Dak Prescott.

01:45:45Yes.

01:45:46And we put in together a spreadsheet

01:45:48and a proprietary algorithm and it spat this out.

01:45:51So Dak is officially the 17th best quarterback in the NFL.

01:45:54Wow, incredible.

01:45:56Of the year.

01:45:57Now it's cemented because once you win the takey,

01:45:58it's cemented forever.

01:46:00That is what you are.

01:46:01Okay, we got a few left.

01:46:03We're rounding it out.

01:46:05We still got Blake of the Year left.

01:46:06We still got podcast listeners of the year left.

01:46:08But next up, we have the best four-win team of the year.

01:46:13Now, you might be saying, what the hell, four-win teams?

01:46:15But guess what?

01:46:16Four-win teams are usually the teams that are next up.

01:46:19There were some great four-win teams this year.

01:46:20They're building something.

01:46:22First up, the New England Patriots, who went 4-13.

01:46:27Huge season for your boys.

01:46:28Enormous, start of the championship DVD, right Hank?

01:46:32Yep.

01:46:33Was Drake May, draft night.

01:46:35Also up, the Washington Commanders, 4-13.

01:46:40Yeah, now I gotta give credit to Hank.

01:46:42His four-win team was better.

01:46:44We drafted before them, so we got Jaden Daniels.

01:46:46That's true.

01:46:47Did you see the Giants clip?

01:46:49No.

01:46:49From Hard Knocks?

01:46:50No.

01:46:52The GM asked his son, he said,

01:46:53you gotta get Jaden Daniels.

01:46:55If you wanna win, you gotta take a shot.

01:46:56Wow.

01:46:57And then he said, Ruth Conda forever.

01:46:59He said, books don't matter.

01:47:01No, books matter.

01:47:03The Colorado Buffaloes, 4-8.

01:47:06Yeah, what a great start.

01:47:08Incredible season.

01:47:10Dion was college football.

01:47:11Yeah, and then finally, the Arizona Cardinals

01:47:14are up for the four-win team of the year

01:47:17with their 4-13 record.

01:47:20So they were better than the Patriots

01:47:21because you drafted before the Cardinals, right?

01:47:24Yeah, so they might, according to my metrics here,

01:47:26they're the best four-win team in the NFL.

01:47:28Yeah, that's facts.

01:47:30Okay, drum roll.

01:47:33And the winner for best four-win team of the year

01:47:37goes to the Colorado Buffaloes.

01:47:39Congrats, Colorado.

01:47:40Incredible, I know the ESPYs probably ignored

01:47:43the Colorado Buffaloes, but not here,

01:47:45not on part of my take.

01:47:46We're giving it to them,

01:47:46the best four-win team of the year.

01:47:48ESPN doesn't pay any attention to Colorado football.

01:47:51Finally, they're getting shine.

01:47:52And it's disgusting.

01:47:53Yep, finally, they're getting some shine.

01:47:54We also fucked up when we did the Mount Rushmore

01:47:56of animals that you'd like to be.

01:47:58Because if we're taking animal mascots,

01:48:00I feel like Ralphie should be right at the top.

01:48:03Ralphie's got a great gig.

01:48:04Ralphie lives on a farm outside Boulder.

01:48:06They bring her onto the field, she runs,

01:48:09and they don't really tell her where to go.

01:48:11They're just like, we're bringing this buffalo

01:48:13out onto the field,

01:48:14and let's just let the chips fall where they may.

01:48:16Yeah, Ralphie's the best.

01:48:18Okay, what do we got next?

01:48:20Okay, up next, we have the buyout of the year.

01:48:23Ooh, good one.

01:48:26A lot of good buyouts in 2023, 2024.

01:48:29First nominee is Russell Westbrook.

01:48:33Yeah, the buyout king.

01:48:34Russell Westbrook, two in a row in Utah.

01:48:38He's put together a mini dynasty of buyouts,

01:48:40hasn't played a single second of basketball,

01:48:43practiced with the team even, but he's getting paid.

01:48:46Yeah.

01:48:47Next up, we have Monte Williams.

01:48:49Monte Williams, former son.

01:48:51Double buyout.

01:48:52Former piston, back to back.

01:48:55And the final nominee for buyout of the year

01:48:57is Jimbo Fisher.

01:48:59Jimbo Fisher got the big check from Texas A&M.

01:49:02We saw the big check get delivered onto the field

01:49:04the week before the buyout happened.

01:49:05One of the best college football wrinkles,

01:49:08like Texas A&M especially, because of all the oil money.

01:49:11But yeah, the donor donating like $100 million

01:49:15at halftime of a Texas A&M game,

01:49:17and then seven days later,

01:49:19Jimbo Fisher getting bought out was so perfect.

01:49:21And all three of these guys really, hats off to them.

01:49:24They're all winners,

01:49:25because you've accomplished the American dream.

01:49:26Correct.

01:49:27You're getting paid to stop working.

01:49:28Correct.

01:49:29That's awesome.

01:49:30The winner of the 2024 buyout of the year takey

01:49:33is Jimbo Fisher.

01:49:35Wow.

01:49:35Texas A&M, the price of oil and gas went up.

01:49:40They were able to afford it.

01:49:42Got him out of town.

01:49:43Now he's just going to go fishing for a while.

01:49:44What was his buyout again?

01:49:45Shit, what was it?

01:49:46Jimbo Fisher's buyout.

01:49:47It was so awesome.

01:49:48I want to say he got like $70 million.

01:49:51It's also so funny, because when you get a buyout,

01:49:53$75 million.

01:49:55When you get a buyout like that,

01:49:57you get a bunch of people, oh, 77 million.

01:49:59You get a bunch of people who don't follow college football

01:50:03that like fly in from the crowd and being like,

01:50:05they can't fire him, the buyout's too big.

01:50:08It's like, no, no, no, no.

01:50:09Listen, there's no buyout too big.

01:50:11When you're the only game in town,

01:50:12if you're especially at a big state school

01:50:14that's in a small town, that's where all the money goes.

01:50:17So they will figure out a way to at least be.

01:50:20Now, this is actually a sweet spot for schools.

01:50:23Like we always say Penn State,

01:50:24but I also feel like A&M could sneak

01:50:26into a college football playoff too.

01:50:28This is a good spot for them.

01:50:29Yeah, it is.

01:50:30It is.

01:50:31Okay, next up, Max, get off of my Taylor Swift tweet.

01:50:35You're going to accidentally retweet it.

01:50:37I know that's what you're going to do.

01:50:38It's up to 40 million views.

01:50:39Get off of it.

01:50:40You just retweeted it?

01:50:42Come on, dude.

01:50:44You fucking asshole.

01:50:46It is funny though.

01:50:50It was an accident, it was an accident.

01:50:52I also don't want to look at my fat face.

01:50:54Max, you do have just like an ace in the hole at all times.

01:50:57He just retweeted it every day.

01:51:00I won't delete it.

01:51:01I'll never delete it.

01:51:02Okay, let's get to our next award.

01:51:05Can't win the big one of the year.

01:51:08A lot of athletes can't win the big one.

01:51:11A lot of big ones out there that can't be won.

01:51:13Yeah, so we had Connor McDavid, can't win the big one.

01:51:17Can't do it.

01:51:18Can't win the big one.

01:51:19Almost did.

01:51:20People say he's the best, but he can't win the big one.

01:51:22He won three out of seven of the big ones.

01:51:25Yeah, Kaitlin Clark, can't win the big one.

01:51:29Can't win the big one.

01:51:29Cannot win the big one.

01:51:30College, college.

01:51:33Joke.

01:51:34WNBA probably.

01:51:35Can't win the big one.

01:51:36Olympics, no gold medal for her.

01:51:38Nope.

01:51:39Roy McIlroy.

01:51:41Can't win the big one.

01:51:42Can't win the big one.

01:51:43I don't think he's ever going to win a major.

01:51:44I don't think so either.

01:51:45He's going to be one of those guys that you look back on

01:51:47and you're like Colin Montgomery.

01:51:48What could have been?

01:51:49Can't win a major.

01:51:50Yeah.

01:51:51Sergio Garcia, can't win a major.

01:51:52Can't do it.

01:51:53Lamar Jackson, can't win the big one.

01:51:56Can't win, he's got a lot.

01:51:57Number two.

01:51:58They were favored at home.

01:52:00Perfect setup.

01:52:01Number one seed, incredible season.

01:52:03Can't win the big one.

01:52:04Run the football.

01:52:05Run the football.

01:52:07Max in the lottery ball.

01:52:07Max is never going to get this lottery ball.

01:52:09He's never going to get the lottery ball.

01:52:11It's so funny watching Max

01:52:12just not get the lottery ball ever.

01:52:14He can't win the big one.

01:52:15The good thing is that I can win the big one

01:52:16with my sports teams.

01:52:18Actually, Joel Embiid's the next nominee.

01:52:21Can't win the big one.

01:52:23And he can't even win the small one.

01:52:26He can't win the big one before the big one.

01:52:28He can't win one.

01:52:29He actually can't win the big one

01:52:30before the big one before the big one.

01:52:32He's never won one that was like above average size.

01:52:37Yeah, can't win it.

01:52:39Max would say, oh, gold medal.

01:52:41That would actually be really funny

01:52:42if USA finished second.

01:52:43Now I'm rooting for it, shit.

01:52:45It would be, but.

01:52:45Now I'm rooting for it, damn it.

01:52:48But like, that would be everyone.

01:52:50I guess.

01:52:51But it would be really about you.

01:52:54There's no way that the Bulls or the Wizards

01:52:56would have anyone on team USA.

01:52:56It would be about you, buddy.

01:52:58That's actually a fair statement.

01:52:59Yeah.

01:53:00That's a fair point.

01:53:01Yeah, but it would be about you.

01:53:03But it's also a big loser move to be like,

01:53:04well, if I don't win an NBA championship,

01:53:07at least I've got a gold medal.

01:53:08Yeah, Carmelo Anthony.

01:53:11Yeah.

01:53:11Friend of the program, Carmelo Anthony.

01:53:13Friend of the program.

01:53:14We like Carmelo Anthony.

01:53:14Ora.

01:53:16Okay, and we have a very special guest

01:53:20presenting this award.

01:53:22Oh, hey guys, Whit here.

01:53:24Ryan Whitney.

01:53:25I think the number one reoccurring guest

01:53:27on the number one sports podcast in the world,

01:53:30pardon my take.

01:53:31And I'm here to present to you

01:53:32for the 2024 Takey's Award,

01:53:35the award of Can't Win the Big One.

01:53:37Nominees, Kaitlin Clark, Rory McIlroy,

01:53:41Connor McDavid, don't like him being a part of it,

01:53:43go Oilers.

01:53:45Joelle Embiid.

01:53:47Who else we got?

01:53:49Lamar of the Baltimore Ravens.

01:53:52And Max with a lottery ball.

01:53:55And the award goes to Kaitlin Clark.

01:53:58Cry me a river, Portnoy.

01:54:00Kaitlin Clark can't win the big one of the year.

01:54:03Wow, Kaitlin Clark.

01:54:04Thank you, Ryan.

01:54:05Incredible.

01:54:06Thank you, Ryan.

01:54:07Appreciate that, yeah.

01:54:08I mean, I thought that this was gonna be Connor McDavid.

01:54:12I thought that it was gonna be Connor McDavid

01:54:15right up until Ryan Whitney said

01:54:16he would not announce the award

01:54:18saying it was Connor McDavid.

01:54:19Yeah, but I think that, you know,

01:54:21Kaitlin Clark is a great choice

01:54:22if you had to replace Connor McDavid with somebody.

01:54:24Yes, exactly, exactly.

01:54:27If maybe, you know what it is?

01:54:29This might be kind of mean.

01:54:31Whitney, he never won the big one.

01:54:33Oh.

01:54:34You think he's got-

01:54:35His team did.

01:54:36You think he's got can't win the big one sensitivity?

01:54:37Yeah, he might.

01:54:38So that probably is where that's from.

01:54:39Yeah, oops, our bad.

01:54:41Sorry, Ryan.

01:54:42That just occurred to me right now.

01:54:43Yeah.

01:54:44Okay, next up we have a new award.

01:54:47Sexiest NFL fan of the year.

01:54:50Ooh, yeah.

01:54:51All right.

01:54:52We had some sexy fans.

01:54:53Speaking of, Taylor Swift is nominated

01:54:56for sexiest NFL fan of the year.

01:54:58For her brain.

01:54:59For her brain.

01:55:00We also have our good friend Stavi,

01:55:03who had an incredible run with the Ravens that fell short.

01:55:06But-

01:55:07Ronnie.

01:55:08He was part of the, you know,

01:55:10the team and everything that went into it.

01:55:12So it was pretty cool.

01:55:14We have Sprinkles.

01:55:16Detroit Don and super fans.

01:55:20Seatmate that came back for a playoff game.

01:55:22What does she get dressed up as?

01:55:24Is she a clown?

01:55:25I would imagine there's gotta be some kind of-

01:55:27I thought she was a cupcake.

01:55:29She might be a cupcake.

01:55:29Oh, a cupcake, okay.

01:55:30Yeah, that's sexy.

01:55:31I thought that was the whole theme.

01:55:32Sprinkles, okay.

01:55:33Sprinkles is nominated.

01:55:34And Jake Browner's girlfriend, nominated again.

01:55:36She was great.

01:55:37In a closed box.

01:55:38Yeah.

01:55:39Okay, so we have a very special guest presenter

01:55:44for this award.

01:55:45And let's kick it to him.

01:55:47What's up, everybody?

01:55:48It's your boy, Stavi.

01:55:49I hopped out straight out of the pool

01:55:51because I'm getting my Michael Phelps on this summer.

01:55:53And I'm here to announce the 2024 takey

01:55:56for the hottest, sexiest NFL fan.

01:55:59And that is, the winner is none other than me,

01:56:03you fucking idiots.

01:56:05That's right.

01:56:06Take that, T-Swifty.

01:56:08Jake Browning's girlfriend, bam.

01:56:10I will never lose to anyone connected

01:56:12to the Cincinnati Bengals.

01:56:13Jake Browning, you can lick my Stavros Brown eye.

01:56:17The only competitor I have respect for is Sprinkles.

01:56:20You were a worthy adversary.

01:56:21And you deserve this just as much as I do.

01:56:24Thank you.

01:56:25I'm honored to win a takey.

01:56:26As a special, give back to the AWLs who are NFL fans.

01:56:30I am offering to fuck your wife all season

01:56:34as long as the Ravens play your team.

01:56:37As a gift to you, I will fuck your wife

01:56:40after the Ravens beat your dumb ass team.

01:56:43I want our way to the fucking Super Bowl, baby.

01:56:45Let's go.

01:56:48Nice job, Stavi.

01:56:49Mustache is looking good, too.

01:56:51Look at that.

01:56:52It looks so good.

01:56:52It looks kind of like the Natty Bow logo.

01:56:54Oh, man.

01:56:56So Sprinkles got a little shout out there.

01:56:59Worthy adversary.

01:57:00Yeah, so Stavi, he won the award

01:57:02that he was nominated for and presented.

01:57:04That's pretty good.

01:57:05Yeah.

01:57:06Pretty good year for Stavi.

01:57:06Great year for Stavi.

01:57:07All right, rounding it out.

01:57:08We got a few more.

01:57:09We do.

01:57:10We have a special category here.

01:57:12New category, the Florio of the Year.

01:57:14Oh.

01:57:15The Florio of the Year award.

01:57:17Oh, this is a big, this is a big.

01:57:19Who's going to win this?

01:57:20The nominees are Mike Florio.

01:57:23Just a lie?

01:57:24Just the biggest lie?

01:57:25Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa.

01:57:27I thought you guys made your peace.

01:57:29I'm just trying to get content.

01:57:30Memes, can you explain Florio of the Year award?

01:57:35Someone who just kind of over exaggerates stories and.

01:57:40Lies.

01:57:41Yeah, kind of lies.

01:57:42Okay, kind of lies a little bit.

01:57:45What was the thing that he got so upset about, Florio,

01:57:47when sites made up things for,

01:57:49oh, he got upset about the Archie Manning speech story.

01:57:52Where it was like, some websites out there

01:57:54are just generating these inflammatory headlines for clicks.

01:57:58That was a great one.

01:57:59But yeah, Hank, it's disappointing

01:58:00because you and Mike made your peace, publicly.

01:58:03No, we have, we're good.

01:58:04I was just curious what that meant.

01:58:06You just called him a liar, though.

01:58:07I asked, does it mean lies?

01:58:09But it doesn't.

01:58:10Okay, the Florio of the Year nominees are Mike Florio,

01:58:13Diana Rossini, Matt Miller, Dan Graziano.

01:58:18Wow.

01:58:19A lot of Italians on this list.

01:58:20Memes.

01:58:21Seems like you got a type.

01:58:24And the winner of the Florio of the Year award

01:58:26for 2024 is Mike Florio.

01:58:29Wow.

01:58:29Mike Florio defending the crown.

01:58:32It's all about the family.

01:58:34Memes, will you want to accept this award

01:58:36on behalf of Mike Florio?

01:58:38Yeah, I would love to.

01:58:39Okay.

01:58:40Dan Graziano came in as a late Florio,

01:58:43but I managed to beat him out with just all-time lies

01:58:49on the part of my take podcast.

01:58:50Went on an all-time rant.

01:58:51But, you know, I'll be back next year to win it.

01:58:54Okay.

01:58:55How many of these nominees had a story

01:58:58about the New York Jets?

01:59:01All four of them.

01:59:04Who came up with the nominee list?

01:59:08I came up with three out of four.

01:59:11Which one did you not?

01:59:12Florio was just automatically in.

01:59:15Okay, so you came up with all four?

01:59:16Yeah.

01:59:18In this category, though, it's like who can unseat Florio?

01:59:19Yeah.

01:59:20It's like king of the hill.

01:59:21Yeah.

01:59:22Who's the Florio of the Year?

01:59:24We'll be watching for next year.

01:59:26All right, next up, we have Coach of the Year.

01:59:31Big, big year in sports.

01:59:33We had some incredible championship runs.

01:59:36Someone's got to win Coach of the Year.

01:59:38The nominees are Joe Mazzuolo from the Boston Celtics.

01:59:42Great coach.

01:59:43Yeah.

01:59:44Oh, Hank, he's so tired of winning.

01:59:45He just doesn't even.

01:59:48I've shown more excitement when I got passed

01:59:50in the fantasy category.

01:59:51I mean, it's a nomination.

01:59:52We'll talk when he wins.

01:59:53Okay.

01:59:54J.J. Redick, Los Angeles Lakers coach.

01:59:56Great coach.

01:59:58We have Jim Harbaugh, one national title.

02:00:01Got hired for the Chargers.

02:00:02Our guy, football guy through and through.

02:00:05And then Andy Reid with his third Super Bowl.

02:00:08Getting close to that.

02:00:10Is he the GOAT?

02:00:11Yeah.

02:00:11I mean, it's gonna be tough to beat Andy.

02:00:14Andy is in the GOAT conversation.

02:00:16He's halfway there.

02:00:17Current coach.

02:00:18Yeah, he's really, really good.

02:00:20And he's got a great quarterback.

02:00:21Yeah.

02:00:22He's coaching his balls off.

02:00:24Is.

02:00:24All right, we have a special guest presenter

02:00:26for this award.

02:00:27I have not seen this video.

02:00:29So let's all watch it together.

02:00:31Boys, it is my honor and privilege

02:00:34to announce the 2024 Takey's Coach of the Year.

02:00:39One of my dearest friends.

02:00:41And this is an insanely proud moment for me

02:00:44because this man is like a brother to me.

02:00:46J.J. Reddick.

02:00:48Fuck you, Max.

02:00:48I know you're sick hearing that name.

02:00:50Fuck you.

02:00:51Congratulations, J.J.

02:00:53You have earned this award.

02:00:54You deserve this award.

02:00:55Just like everything else in your life.

02:00:57Take the Lakers all the way.

02:00:58Listen to me.

02:00:59Look at me.

02:01:00Take the Lakers all the way

02:01:02because you got a lot of haters out there.

02:01:03A lot of naysayers.

02:01:05Max being one of them.

02:01:06And hey, Max, what are you gonna do

02:01:08when the Lakers run wild on your candy asses

02:01:11out there in Philly?

02:01:12Congratulations, bro.

02:01:13Again, you deserve this.

02:01:15Cherish this moment.

02:01:16And I'll see you at Christmas, man.

02:01:18Fuck you, Max.

02:01:20All right.

02:01:22Congrats to J.J.

02:01:23Max does hate J.J.

02:01:24Incredible.

02:01:26Incredible.

02:01:27He fucking despises J.J. Reddick.

02:01:30Oh, that's funny.

02:01:32Okay.

02:01:33We got three left.

02:01:34We do.

02:01:35Should we add one?

02:01:36We didn't do our play of the year.

02:01:38Oh.

02:01:39The Aspies had their, they gave it to Lamar.

02:01:41Okay.

02:01:42Do you guys have a play of the year?

02:01:44I have a play of the year.

02:01:46Travis Kelsey throwing the lateral to Kadarius Toney

02:01:49that was called back on the flag.

02:01:51Yep.

02:01:52And Travis and Andy were saying it's sad

02:01:54because that won't be included in Canton one day.

02:01:56Yep.

02:01:57Well, we're memorializing it right now.

02:01:58Okay.

02:01:59My play of the year is Summer League

02:02:01when Bronny took it coast to coast

02:02:04and he bricked a 10-footer.

02:02:06That's a good one.

02:02:06Yeah.

02:02:07Hank?

02:02:09Probably.

02:02:10Oh, I have one.

02:02:12Do you have another one?

02:02:13Well, if Hank can think of one, I had one for him.

02:02:16Probably had to be in the Copa.

02:02:18Oh, yeah.

02:02:19That game winner.

02:02:20Which team?

02:02:22Argentina.

02:02:23Nice.

02:02:24Nice.

02:02:25Nice.

02:02:26Which team?

02:02:27Yeah.

02:02:27Who are they playing?

02:02:28The semis.

02:02:29I'm blanking on who they're playing,

02:02:31but the semifinal winner is incredible.

02:02:32Who scored?

02:02:33Portugal.

02:02:34Who scored?

02:02:35Portugal.

02:02:36When they beat Portugal.

02:02:36Yeah.

02:02:38Do you remember who scored?

02:02:40Yeah.

02:02:41Hamas?

02:02:42Hamas.

02:02:44Okay.

02:02:44I was gonna say that Mac Jones interception in England.

02:02:47You remember that one?

02:02:48Yeah, that was a great one.

02:02:48The one that was underthrown by like 15 yards?

02:02:50That was a great one.

02:02:51Can we nominate that one?

02:02:52Yeah, absolutely.

02:02:53Okay.

02:02:54Absolutely.

02:02:54So, we should let the listeners vote on it.

02:02:56Yeah, yeah.

02:02:57The listeners, we'll put up a poll.

02:02:58I have one too.

02:02:59Oh, okay.

02:03:00The Jalen Carter almost interception off of the spike.

02:03:04Nah, that wasn't that cool.

02:03:05Yeah.

02:03:06That wasn't, he lost the game.

02:03:08But it was cool.

02:03:09Yeah, no, it wasn't cool.

02:03:10All right, so we'll let the listeners vote.

02:03:11They have four to vote on,

02:03:13so it'll be given out after the listeners vote.

02:03:15All right, so the last three awards,

02:03:18PFT, you got one of them?

02:03:20Yeah, this is the preemptive take of the year award.

02:03:23So, this is where we try to get out ahead of the story

02:03:26and call something way in the future.

02:03:28Yes.

02:03:29And I'm excited to see what you guys have

02:03:30because we don't know what each other's

02:03:31preemptive takes are.

02:03:32Yeah.

02:03:33So, how do we want to start this?

02:03:34Who wants to start?

02:03:36Why don't we start with memes

02:03:37and we'll go around and we'll end with Hank.

02:03:40Memes, your preemptive take of the year.

02:03:42All right, the 76ers will implode with Paul George.

02:03:46Okay.

02:03:47And Joel Embiid will force himself to the Knicks.

02:03:49Wow.

02:03:50Okay.

02:03:51Wow.

02:03:52I mean, that would be crazy if true.

02:03:53Okay.

02:03:55The 76ers will succeed with Paul George.

02:03:58Okay.

02:03:59And Joel Embiid will win an Eastern Conference Finals MVP.

02:04:03Whoa, in a losing effort?

02:04:05In a winning effort.

02:04:06Oh, okay.

02:04:08We're not ready to say MVP.

02:04:10Wait, wait, wait.

02:04:11Is that your dream?

02:04:11What was your wildest dream?

02:04:12That's not our dream.

02:04:14In your wildest imagination.

02:04:15This isn't dream of the year, this is take of the year.

02:04:18What's dream of the year?

02:04:19In your wildest take, the Sixers still lose in the finals.

02:04:23Correct.

02:04:24That's not what I said.

02:04:25You come in second place.

02:04:26That's not what I said.

02:04:28He could win both.

02:04:30But I said that he will win

02:04:31the Eastern Conference Finals MVP.

02:04:33I personally, if I thought they were gonna win

02:04:34the whole thing, I would have started there.

02:04:36Yeah.

02:04:37That could be your take.

02:04:38The Eastern Conference Finals MVP.

02:04:39Yeah, who does?

02:04:40That's my take.

02:04:42Okay.

02:04:43Huey.

02:04:44The WNBA.

02:04:46Okay.

02:04:47The finals of the WNBA specifically

02:04:50will have more ratings,

02:04:52will have the third most ratings in the fall.

02:04:55Wait, more ratings or third most?

02:04:58Third most in the season of fall.

02:05:00So behind college football and the NFL,

02:05:03there needs to be a third place.

02:05:04Got it.

02:05:05WNBA Finals will surpass the NBA opening,

02:05:08will surpass the NHL,

02:05:10and it'll be the third most watched sport.

02:05:12World Series?

02:05:13World Series.

02:05:14It'll battle the World Series,

02:05:16and it will be third.

02:05:17Okay.

02:05:18I like that.

02:05:19Yeah.

02:05:20Who do you have in the finals?

02:05:20That's my take.

02:05:22The Vegas Aces, obviously.

02:05:24Mrs. Plum and Mrs. Wilson.

02:05:26And the other side's up in the air yet.

02:05:28Okay.

02:05:29Up in the air yet.

02:05:30I've noticed Huey adds words

02:05:32that don't need to be there.

02:05:33That's okay.

02:05:34And I love it.

02:05:35We need to up the word count of each podcast.

02:05:36We get paid by the word.

02:05:37Up in the air yet.

02:05:38Yet doesn't need to be in there.

02:05:39Mm-hmm.

02:05:40He just, he just,

02:05:43it's like almost like he's,

02:05:44he doesn't,

02:05:45he knows he's done talking,

02:05:47but he's like,

02:05:48let me just get one more in there.

02:05:49I fucking love it.

02:05:51All right, Shane, you got one?

02:05:53You got one, Jimmy?

02:05:53Well, take.

02:05:54Take, preemptive take.

02:05:56Am I rolling?

02:05:56Yeah.

02:05:57Gus Edwards will lead the NFL in rushing touchdowns.

02:06:01Okay.

02:06:02What team does he play for?

02:06:03He's on the Charger.

02:06:04Oh, interesting.

02:06:05And what's on your shirt right now?

02:06:06Matt McConkie, also Rookie of the Year.

02:06:07What's on your shirt right now?

02:06:08No offense.

02:06:09What's your shirt say?

02:06:11What is your shirt?

02:06:11Your shirt.

02:06:12I can't.

02:06:13Oh, it's a Charger shirt.

02:06:15Mm-hmm.

02:06:16Oh, it's a junior sale.

02:06:17Okay, all right, got it, got it.

02:06:18It's the nicest outfit.

02:06:20Okay.

02:06:20All right, boys.

02:06:22My preemptive take of the year

02:06:23is that Taylor Swift and Travis

02:06:25are going to get engaged.

02:06:27Oh.

02:06:28And then she's gonna put out a terrible album.

02:06:30Oh.

02:06:31And she's happy,

02:06:32and she doesn't have any boyfriends to complain about.

02:06:35And then all her fans are gonna start to hate her

02:06:38because her music sucks,

02:06:39because she's happy with her personal life.

02:06:41Wow.

02:06:42How about that?

02:06:43I like it, I like it.

02:06:44Okay, my preemptive take of the year,

02:06:48I believe

02:06:52Henry Lockwood is going to dunk.

02:06:54Let's go.

02:06:55Not!

02:06:57Ha ha!

02:06:58Got nodded.

02:06:59I can't believe you fell for that.

02:07:02I believe.

02:07:02Okay, that's my preemptive take.

02:07:04Henry Lockwood's gonna dunk.

02:07:05Not!

02:07:09That's improper English.

02:07:11Is it?

02:07:13There's a comma in there.

02:07:13Dunk not.

02:07:15Dunk not.

02:07:16No, I think you're gonna be able to dunk.

02:07:17I really do, I actually do.

02:07:20I do too.

02:07:21Psych.

02:07:24Hank?

02:07:25My preemptive take.

02:07:26Are you high right now, Hank?

02:07:26No.

02:07:27How high, I should rephrase that.

02:07:28How high are you?

02:07:29Zero percent high.

02:07:30I believe you're gonna be able to dunk, Hank.

02:07:31I just don't want to say thank you

02:07:33because I said thank you, I got nodded.

02:07:35What type of not was that, PFT?

02:07:38Doesn't matter.

02:07:40I believe you're gonna be able to dunk.

02:07:41Thank you.

02:07:42Psych!

02:07:43Yeah.

02:07:44That's fine.

02:07:46No, I actually do.

02:07:47I actually 100% believe you're gonna dunk.

02:07:49Because you've been working out a lot,

02:07:50you've been training a lot.

02:07:52Thanks.

02:07:53Gotcha.

02:07:57All right, what's your preemptive take?

02:07:59It wouldn't be the most shocking thing

02:08:01if you did.

02:08:01No.

02:08:02I think I'm going to.

02:08:03It's opposite day.

02:08:04Yeah.

02:08:05Okay, Hank, what's your preemptive take?

02:08:07My preemptive take of the year is that

02:08:08Drake May and New England Patriots

02:08:12are going to have more combined wins

02:08:15than the Washington football team and Chicago Bears.

02:08:18Combined?

02:08:19Combined.

02:08:20That is the craziest thing.

02:08:22That's wild.

02:08:23That's wild, Hank.

02:08:24That's wild.

02:08:25How many wins?

02:08:28Seven.

02:08:29So we're gonna have six combined,

02:08:32more or equal.

02:08:33So maybe one has four, one has three.

02:08:36That's wild.

02:08:36That's wild take, Hank.

02:08:38Would you like to wager on that?

02:08:40No, I'm already in pretty deep with PFT,

02:08:41so I'm just gonna.

02:08:42Yeah, oh, that's right.

02:08:43Sometimes I forget.

02:08:44Like, I feel like I'm a bad gambler,

02:08:46and then I remember that Hank is gonna owe me,

02:08:49what, $20,000?

02:08:50I think it's 50.

02:08:51$50,000.

02:08:52No, you were gonna owe me 50,

02:08:54but I'm already gonna be up 20.

02:08:55I think it was 50 to three,

02:08:57or 50 to 30.

02:08:58So I think you might owe me 30,000.

02:08:59No, well, it wasn't that.

02:09:02If the Patriots don't make the Super Bowl

02:09:03in how many years now?

02:09:04I think it was 50 to 10.

02:09:05I think it was five years,

02:09:06but a year has passed.

02:09:07There's no way I give you 50 to 30.

02:09:09So it's four more years.

02:09:10Yeah. Four more years.

02:09:11Yeah.

02:09:12Yeah, it's like there's always money in the banana sack.

02:09:14I got it, I'm rich.

02:09:15Yeah.

02:09:16I'm gonna be so rich in four years.

02:09:17They gotta make a Super Bowl in the next four years.

02:09:19Easy.

02:09:20Easy.

02:09:21You love Drake May.

02:09:22I actually do.

02:09:23Yeah.

02:09:24I know, I've seen the T-shirt.

02:09:26We should release that.

02:09:30Okay, quick break from the takeys

02:09:33for the rollback question.

02:09:34Rollback question for memes and pug,

02:09:36because you guys are sitting here with me,

02:09:39and we forgot to do the rollback question,

02:09:41but now we're here.

02:09:42Rollback question for memes and pugs.

02:09:44How is the editing of the takeys going?

02:09:47It's a great time.

02:09:48It's a great time?

02:09:49Yeah, it's just so many fun awards.

02:09:52I don't know which one's my favorite pug.

02:09:54Okay, nice shot, pug.

02:09:55Memes?

02:09:56Yeah, it's a great time.

02:09:57Lots of fun.

02:09:58We're watching Jerry Gessom States.

02:10:01Okay, all right.

02:10:02So, rollback.com.

02:10:03We love the people at Rollback.

02:10:04They're one of our favorite sponsors.

02:10:06Cuses, polos, hoodies, joggers, shorts.

02:10:08I'll tell you right now,

02:10:09the joggers are the best.

02:10:10I wear them every single day.

02:10:12Polos, if you're a golfer, do it.

02:10:14The light sweatshirts, just in time for fall.

02:10:17Rollback has it all.

02:10:18Rollback.com.

02:10:19Promo code TAKE.

02:10:2020% off your first question, or first purchase.

02:10:23That was the Rollback question.

02:10:2520% off your first purchase.

02:10:27Rollback.com.

02:10:27R-H-O-B-A-C-K.com.

02:10:30And now back to the Takeys.

02:10:33Okay, it's time for one of the most important awards

02:10:37we give away every single year at the Takeys.

02:10:42It is Blake of the Year time.

02:10:44So, here's what we're doing.

02:10:46We've done them many different ways.

02:10:49For people who are listening to their first Takeys,

02:10:50Blake of the Year is Blake Griffin, Blake Bortles,

02:10:55and we've added Brooks Koepka probably five years ago.

02:10:58He is a Blake.

02:10:59I don't know what the exact stats are.

02:11:01I believe Blake Griffin is a three-time winner.

02:11:04I think it's Blake Bortles has two.

02:11:07Yeah, two.

02:11:08And Brooks, sadly, can't win the big one.

02:11:10He has zero.

02:11:11So, we've done it every single way.

02:11:13We've done it first to answer the phone call.

02:11:17We've done trivia.

02:11:18We did the famous lottery ball year, which was painful,

02:11:21and I'm shocked that these guys

02:11:23even still return our text messages.

02:11:26This year, we're going old school with a new school twist.

02:11:29It's gonna be similar to the phone call,

02:11:31the first to answer the phone

02:11:33won previous Blake of the Years.

02:11:36This year, we're gonna do a Zoom link.

02:11:38So, I've told all three Blakes a window,

02:11:42and we're in the window right now.

02:11:44They're in all different parts of the world.

02:11:45Blake Brooks is in the UK.

02:11:48Blake Griffin is in LA.

02:11:50Blake Bortles is in Florida.

02:11:52When I texted them asking them

02:11:54what their availability was,

02:11:56Brooks said he's playing in a golf tournament in England.

02:11:59Blake Griffin said that he's got some meetings and shit

02:12:02that he's gotta attend to,

02:12:03and Blake Bortles said he has absolutely nothing.

02:12:06So, Blake Bortles seems like

02:12:07he would be the betting favorite right now.

02:12:10Brooks Koepka, not on the course now, though.

02:12:12Not on the course, but Blake Bortles

02:12:14also probably not the most technologically savvy.

02:12:17So, Blake Griffin feels like he could be

02:12:19the leader in that respect.

02:12:20So, Blake definitely has practiced.

02:12:22Yeah.

02:12:23He's opened up a Zoom.

02:12:24He's made sure that the app is up to date,

02:12:27that it's the most current version.

02:12:29Bortles might be kind of lounging around,

02:12:32but he might have more technical difficulties

02:12:34just accessing the app.

02:12:35Correct.

02:12:35He might not even have the app downloaded.

02:12:37Okay, and now, how are we judging?

02:12:39Is it first to show?

02:12:40We're screen recording, so we'll have it exactly right.

02:12:42If they both show up at the same time, we'll figure it out.

02:12:44But, it's first to join,

02:12:46and we have to hear them and see them, correct?

02:12:49They have to connect to video and audio.

02:12:50Yes, so once they join,

02:12:52if their video is on the screen,

02:12:55and we can't hear them, it doesn't count.

02:12:57Now, are we allowed to tell them we can't hear you?

02:13:00Yeah.

02:13:01Okay.

02:13:02Shane, if Shane is listening,

02:13:04can you say something real quick,

02:13:05just so the people know that?

02:13:07Check, check, check, check.

02:13:08There we go.

02:13:09Okay, so that way that the people know it's not on our end.

02:13:12Right.

02:13:13We're able to connect to video and audio right now.

02:13:15Memes.

02:13:16Question.

02:13:18Blake Bortles is a three times winner.

02:13:19Three times winner, so it's 3-3-0.

02:13:213-3-0, wow.

02:13:23Wow.

02:13:25Either one will win the best of seven,

02:13:26or one will break the dreaded streak.

02:13:29Get the monkey off the bat.

02:13:30Yes, so I'm texting all three right this second.

02:13:34I'm saying first person to connect to video and audio

02:13:38on the Zoom wins Blake of the Year.

02:13:41Wins Blake of the Year 2024.

02:13:44Even if they don't win,

02:13:45if they feel like they didn't win,

02:13:46they should still try to connect,

02:13:48because we'd like to see them all.

02:13:48Big Cat, real quick sidebar.

02:13:50I know we just laid out the entire rules,

02:13:51and we planned this whole thing out.

02:13:54Is it more of a Blake move to not be able to connect?

02:13:56No, no, no, no.

02:13:58Maybe next year we'll do that, Wrinkle,

02:14:00but I've already set this up.

02:14:02It was a hell of a time setting up

02:14:03three different time zones.

02:14:04When I thought about it,

02:14:06Blake's probably not ready to go.

02:14:08We still also, next year we're golfing,

02:14:11or doing something.

02:14:12Next year we're getting them all three together.

02:14:13We'll figure it out.

02:14:14I want to get them all three together.

02:14:16Okay, here we go.

02:14:17First person to connect to video and audio on the Zoom

02:14:21wins Blake of the Year 2024 with the Zoom link.

02:14:24Sent.

02:14:25Oh my God.

02:14:26Okay.

02:14:27What if all of them just don't join,

02:14:31and we just sit here?

02:14:32If the Blake's unionized, oh, we have somebody.

02:14:33No.

02:14:34No way. That was so fast.

02:14:35No way.

02:14:36It says BG, no way.

02:14:40Oh my God.

02:14:42Oh my God.

02:14:43Can we hear him?

02:14:44Hello?

02:14:45Oh, Blake of the Year!

02:14:48Let's go!

02:14:49That was domination!

02:14:51You were literally waiting in bed.

02:14:52Oh, we got another one!

02:14:53Oh no!

02:14:55Here comes Blake Portals.

02:14:56This is going to be heartbreaking for him.

02:14:58Oh.

02:14:59Can't wait to talk shit about my wifi.

02:15:01Oh, and I think I'm wearing the Blake of the Year shirt.

02:15:03I think Brooks might've tried to join just now, too.

02:15:05Oh my God.

02:15:06Oh.

02:15:07Oh, what's up, Brooks?

02:15:09What's up, Blake?

02:15:10Oh no, Blake.

02:15:11This wifi is too fucking good.

02:15:13Oh no!

02:15:15And now it's-

02:15:16I'm not going to lie, boys.

02:15:16I had my wifi guy come out this morning.

02:15:19We took the restrictor plate off this bad boy.

02:15:22Not exactly street legal, but was it worth it?

02:15:26That was crazy fast.

02:15:28That was insanely fast.

02:15:29Wait, is Brooks joined or no?

02:15:31No, Brooks is-

02:15:32He might just not join.

02:15:34Brooks is just the bad luck guy for every single year.

02:15:37Blake, I-

02:15:38Portals, we got some beef to settle, man.

02:15:40You're out on the street saying I'm cheating out here.

02:15:42Oh.

02:15:44Dude, it's these restrictor plates and your wifi.

02:15:47These catalytic converters, you're swiping.

02:15:49Wait-

02:15:50Listen, man, not street legal, but it's worth it.

02:15:55That was crazy.

02:15:55You joined so fast,

02:15:57because we've been taping this whole thing.

02:15:58You'll be able to watch it back.

02:16:01I went to the chat to check to make sure I was like,

02:16:03it was going to be in this thread and that it came through.

02:16:05Yeah.

02:16:06So, portals, are you out on your porch right now?

02:16:09Yeah, I've been sitting here for,

02:16:11what time was it, an hour?

02:16:12Probably.

02:16:13Three minutes.

02:16:14Probably pretty far away from your router.

02:16:16Oh, no.

02:16:17And do you know, this is,

02:16:19Blake, portals, I feel bad saying this to you.

02:16:22You guys probably are aware of this,

02:16:23but did you know it was 3-3 until today?

02:16:29No.

02:16:30Yeah.

02:16:31Is that what the record was?

02:16:31Yes.

02:16:32You are a three-time Blake of the Year winner.

02:16:34Blake Griffin is now a four-time Blake of the Year winner.

02:16:38And Brooks.

02:16:42He might not even join this call, yeah.

02:16:45This is tough luck for Brooks.

02:16:47I'll tell you what,

02:16:48having your notifications on extra loud for an hour

02:16:50is very annoying.

02:16:52Yeah.

02:16:54That was actually shocking how fast you joined,

02:16:57because we had a moment when we set the whole thing up,

02:16:59we're like, what if none of these guys joined

02:17:01for like a half hour?

02:17:03And we're just sitting here like fucking assholes,

02:17:06just being like, will anyone join?

02:17:08Holy shit.

02:17:09I got a tough question for the two of you,

02:17:10since Brooks isn't on the chat yet.

02:17:13Has the word relegation been thrown around

02:17:15in regards to Brooks Koepka?

02:17:19It's an interesting question.

02:17:20If I knew what that meant,

02:17:22I would 100% have an opinion.

02:17:24Okay.

02:17:25Like, relegate him.

02:17:26Are we gonna relegate him down to the-

02:17:28Division II.

02:17:29Back to the Brooks League?

02:17:30Yeah, drop him down to Brooks.

02:17:33I don't know.

02:17:34I mean, I feel like that's up to you guys.

02:17:36I don't know if that's a Blake's call.

02:17:38I'll say this in Brooks' defense.

02:17:41He is probably at the biggest disadvantage

02:17:42because he's in England and he said

02:17:44that he's at a remote place that has like very bad wifi.

02:17:48I think he just needs to quit the Live Tour

02:17:50and focus on Blake of the Year.

02:17:53Yeah, if he was serious about it, I guess, yeah.

02:17:55Yeah.

02:17:56Blake Griffin, do you want to say anything?

02:17:58You want an acceptance speech?

02:17:59I mean, this is one of the biggest takey awards

02:18:01that we give out every year.

02:18:03Um, yeah, I mean, honestly, dude,

02:18:07Blake, you can probably attest to this,

02:18:08but everywhere I go, somebody yells Blake of the Year.

02:18:12Somebody yells Blake of the Year.

02:18:14So, I mean, this is a big, this is a huge award

02:18:16and it means a lot to all of us.

02:18:19Some of us, it means a little bit more.

02:18:21I guess Brooks doesn't really care, but you know what?

02:18:25I'm just happy to take it home this year.

02:18:28Great competition all around.

02:18:29Yeah.

02:18:30Yeah, and I feel like this is a dynasty for you too.

02:18:32Yeah.

02:18:33Yeah, now I get to do the Clay Thompson thing

02:18:35all the time and hold up four.

02:18:36Yeah.

02:18:37Are you bad for Blake's?

02:18:38Are you so good at Blake of the Year?

02:18:41It might be bad for Blake's.

02:18:43Wait, who won last year?

02:18:45Bortles did.

02:18:46Oh, yeah, so, okay, so there's parody in this league still.

02:18:50Is it over?

02:18:51Was it best of seven?

02:18:52What?

02:18:53No.

02:18:56Please, God.

02:18:59We're just going to keep going.

02:19:01So Blake Bortles, what do you, I mean,

02:19:04I said beforehand before we sent out the Zoom link

02:19:08that the text messages when I sent you guys

02:19:10setting this all up was very funny

02:19:11because Brooks was like, I'm playing in a golf tournament

02:19:15and Blake Griffin was like, I have some things going on

02:19:17and you're like, I literally have nothing.

02:19:19So what is you going to do to change in this off season?

02:19:25Because I mean, you just have to give up the award

02:19:27and now you have a whole year to think about it.

02:19:30Yeah, and it's especially a tough look

02:19:32when I had nothing going on and I couldn't have joined.

02:19:35I couldn't have joined any sooner and I joined

02:19:38and you guys are, and Blake are just

02:19:39in a full conversation already.

02:19:41It's not even like he's still trying to figure it out

02:19:43and connect, he was already in.

02:19:45So I think I'm going to have to start

02:19:46packing the schedule a little bit and change things up.

02:19:48Yeah, that's a good idea.

02:19:50And also in Brooks's defense, he's the only one

02:19:52that still has like a current job that they work at.

02:19:56So a little bit busy.

02:19:58True.

02:20:00Both you guys nod.

02:20:03I got nothing going on.

02:20:04I can't wait to make the part of my take movie

02:20:06and we get the actor from Clipped to play Blake Bortles.

02:20:09Yes.

02:20:09Blake Griffin.

02:20:10Blake Griffin, yeah.

02:20:11We'll get Sam Houser's brother to play Bortles.

02:20:13Yeah, yeah.

02:20:15I know we say this every year,

02:20:16but next year we have to get everyone together.

02:20:18We're going to do it.

02:20:19I feel like we're going to do it.

02:20:20We got to get you back out at Tahoe, Blake Bortles.

02:20:24Yeah, I got dropped from that roster pretty quickly.

02:20:27Did you play out there, Blake?

02:20:28I did.

02:20:29Day one was brutal.

02:20:30How awesome was that?

02:20:31It was so fun.

02:20:33Brutal day one.

02:20:34And I was like shaking over my practice putts.

02:20:37Dude, it's terrifying.

02:20:38Day two and three, oh, terrifying.

02:20:40The people lined up on the tee box.

02:20:43It's like, what are we doing, guys?

02:20:45And then day two and three, I played a little bit better,

02:20:47but I had no aspirations of winning.

02:20:51It was strictly go out there and don't be last.

02:20:53Luckily, A-Rod, Miles Teller were out there.

02:20:58I saw a bear, too.

02:21:01Dude, I was 10 feet from a bear.

02:21:03Yeah.

02:21:04I look over and I hear something in the tree

02:21:06and I look over and this bear's just like

02:21:08bear-hugging this tree

02:21:09and he's just looking around it at me.

02:21:11Yeah, and Max, I was like, Max, go get the bear.

02:21:14And then that woman was like,

02:21:16hey, you probably shouldn't do that.

02:21:18Yeah, I went to go over towards the bear

02:21:20and there was people working there

02:21:21and they were like, don't go near that bear.

02:21:23Don't go near that bear.

02:21:24Very aggressive.

02:21:25Yeah, apparently it was like a mama bear

02:21:27with like three cubs

02:21:29and you don't want to get in the mama bear's way.

02:21:31No.

02:21:31That's how we feel about the Blakes.

02:21:33Yeah, don't fuck with them.

02:21:34Yeah.

02:21:35I don't think he's going to join.

02:21:37No, I don't think he's going to join.

02:21:38I think he's asleep.

02:21:39It is like 10 p.m.

02:21:41It is late there.

02:21:41Yeah, it's 10 p.m.

02:21:43And he's got a golf round the next day.

02:21:45What were you going to say?

02:21:46What was your best round, Blake?

02:21:49I think, I mean, I'm not good.

02:21:51I think I shot an 84 day two, maybe.

02:21:54That's pretty good.

02:21:55Respectable.

02:21:56With people watching out there,

02:21:58having to make every putt.

02:22:00Dude, how tough are like the two footers

02:22:02that everybody's normally like?

02:22:03Yeah, you're good.

02:22:04And you still got to putt those.

02:22:06They're terrible.

02:22:08One of the first times I played in it,

02:22:09my dad caddied for me the first day.

02:22:10And after like the fourth time I missed an 18 inch putt,

02:22:13he just stopped.

02:22:14There's somebody out of the crowd can carry this bag.

02:22:21Blake, I caddied for Blake Griffin

02:22:23for like probably four or five holes.

02:22:26And I got a new golf term for you

02:22:28that I'd never seen on the golf course.

02:22:30Blake Griffin shot a shot that went like,

02:22:33I don't know, a hundred feet into the woods.

02:22:36And the guy we were playing with was like,

02:22:37that was the great shape of that shot.

02:22:40I don't even know what the fuck that means,

02:22:42but it was, it sounded nice.

02:22:44It was a terrible shot.

02:22:46It wasn't like a hundred yards and a feet in the woods.

02:22:48It was like 70, 80 tops.

02:22:51But it was great shape.

02:22:53It was pretty.

02:22:54It was great shape.

02:22:55Can you imagine the shape on that thing?

02:22:57I was like, I just turned around and was like,

02:22:59what the fuck does that mean?

02:23:00That was a bad shot.

02:23:03But yeah, Blake Griffin can fucking bomb the ball.

02:23:05I watched it.

02:23:06Blake, let's get you back out to Tahoe next year

02:23:11and we'll do like a little,

02:23:12we should do a little Blake thing out there.

02:23:13Maybe that's, we do Blake of the year

02:23:15right before the tournament.

02:23:16Yeah.

02:23:17Brooks is probably-

02:23:18Make them pair us together at least one day.

02:23:21Oh, yeah.

02:23:22Yeah.

02:23:22That would be incredible.

02:23:24Brooks has to play lefty.

02:23:25I think Brooks might still win.

02:23:26Yeah.

02:23:27Brooks probably is like, oh, I got a whole job.

02:23:29I'm making like-

02:23:30Me, no.

02:23:31How about me and Bortles scramble?

02:23:32Yeah.

02:23:33Yeah.

02:23:34Yeah.

02:23:35Versus me and PFT.

02:23:37And we play from like the forward team.

02:23:39Yeah.

02:23:40Yeah.

02:23:41I think, yeah.

02:23:42You guys could, that would definitely level it out.

02:23:44And then between the two of you,

02:23:46it's whoever you take more shots from.

02:23:48Oh.

02:23:49So then there's also competition between the two of you.

02:23:51Yeah.

02:23:52Oh, okay.

02:23:53I like that.

02:23:54Oh, good.

02:23:55That was good.

02:23:56Was that Max?

02:23:57Yeah, that was Max.

02:23:58Dude, just dialing assassin over there.

02:24:00Can't see him, but-

02:24:01Yeah, he's in the booth.

02:24:02Great idea.

02:24:03There he is.

02:24:03There's our mutants.

02:24:04Just producing back here is all.

02:24:06Yeah.

02:24:07We got a new intern, Huey, there too.

02:24:09He's a Pistons fan, actually, Blake.

02:24:13Hey, sorry, Huey.

02:24:15Yeah, no shit.

02:24:16Sorry, buddy.

02:24:16Oh, shit.

02:24:17Okay.

02:24:18You know what?

02:24:19Yeah.

02:24:20Fuck you, Huey.

02:24:21Huey, Chicago.

02:24:23Yeah, by the way, since I left,

02:24:24they've been doing great.

02:24:25Congratulations, man.

02:24:26Thank you, thank you.

02:24:30Huey, do you want to tell Blake

02:24:31about your idea for a sitcom?

02:24:33I have a TV pilot coming out one day.

02:24:35Oh, yeah, Blake, you should buy this.

02:24:37You'll love this.

02:24:37It's about two brothers,

02:24:39one named Carmelo, the other, Anthony,

02:24:42born in Denver, Colorado,

02:24:43a couple of days before you-know-who gets traded

02:24:45to the Knicks.

02:24:47And their dad grows up their whole life,

02:24:50resenting them, you know,

02:24:51because they're named Carmelo and Anthony.

02:24:54And I can tell you're not going with it.

02:24:57Yeah.

02:24:58Dude, if you could just throw that in an email,

02:25:00I'll put my email in the chat.

02:25:01You just shoot that over to me,

02:25:03and I'll get that in front of my people ASAP.

02:25:05Thanks, man.

02:25:06I'm riveting.

02:25:06Thank you.

02:25:07Way to abort there.

02:25:08That was a good,

02:25:09that was way to read the room, Huey.

02:25:11You didn't even get to the part

02:25:12about a new kid named Nicola.

02:25:14Yeah.

02:25:16Oh, man.

02:25:17All right, well, thank you both, Blakes.

02:25:20You guys are the best.

02:25:21We love you.

02:25:22Blake Griffin, congratulations.

02:25:23You have a full year as Blake of the Year.

02:25:26The trophy's back in your house.

02:25:27I feel like we got to make new shirts.

02:25:29Yeah.

02:25:30Doing the Klay Thompson, four rings on there.

02:25:31Yeah.

02:25:33Yeah.

02:25:35I'll do it.

02:25:36Well, thank you, boys.

02:25:37Appreciate it.

02:25:38Congrats, Blake.

02:25:39Thanks, guys.

02:25:41He's pissed.

02:25:42I'm stoked for you, man.

02:25:43I'm so fucking excited.

02:25:46Thanks, man.

02:25:47It really felt genuine.

02:25:49Yeah, I'm happy for you.

02:25:50Enjoy these 12 months.

02:25:53All right, see you, boys.

02:25:54Thanks, guys.

02:25:55All right, see you.

02:25:55Later.

02:25:57Oh, and that's Blake of the Year.

02:25:59Our favorite award that we give out.

02:26:02I love it.

02:26:04It broke my heart to see the look on Blake Bortles face.

02:26:06I know, but that was-

02:26:07He wanted it.

02:26:08That was a thrilling way to do it.

02:26:09You're never gonna say

02:26:10that Blake Bortles didn't want to win this one.

02:26:11Yeah, holy shit.

02:26:14He was so fast.

02:26:15Blake Griffin, what was the time on that?

02:26:17I would estimate it to be under 10 seconds.

02:26:19Yeah, it was that fast.

02:26:21And I did, now, I did give him a three-hour window.

02:26:23I was like, here's the three-hour window

02:26:24because they're busy guys.

02:26:26But still, I mean, I do feel bad

02:26:28because Blake Bortles, like he said,

02:26:30he'd been just sitting there for an hour waiting

02:26:33and still wasn't able to do it.

02:26:36I mean, congrats.

02:26:37It's tough to beat greatness.

02:26:39Yeah.

02:26:40And what we're witnessing right now is greatness.

02:26:41Four-time Blake of the Year winner.

02:26:43All right, we have one last award, PFT.

02:26:47And we should just give it out ourselves.

02:26:48Okay.

02:26:50It's a Podcast Listeners of the Year Award.

02:26:52Pretty important award.

02:26:54There's a lot of good podcasts out there

02:26:56and a lot of great podcast listeners.

02:26:57Yeah, so you want to do the nominees?

02:26:59Yeah, the nominees are the Hardcore Historians.

02:27:03Okay.

02:27:04I listen to Dan Carlin.

02:27:05Yep.

02:27:06I've got them on the list.

02:27:07The Politicking Fans.

02:27:09I don't know, what do we call those guys?

02:27:10Marshawn Lynch, Gavin Newsom,

02:27:13Marshawn Lynch's agent who's known Gavin Newsom for years.

02:27:16He started working on this podcast six months ago.

02:27:19The Politicking Fans.

02:27:20Yep.

02:27:20And then the AWLs of Part of My Take.

02:27:23Oh, wow.

02:27:24Oh, wow.

02:27:26So who won?

02:27:28I don't think Politicking is out yet.

02:27:30Okay.

02:27:30So I had to cross that one off the list.

02:27:32Should we do a drum roll?

02:27:34We can do a drum roll.

02:27:35Okay.

02:27:38Hughie, you want to announce the winner?

02:27:43No, he says no.

02:27:43Smart.

02:27:44He says no.

02:27:46You want to announce the winner?

02:27:49No memes, you can't.

02:27:50No?

02:27:51Yeah, do it, do it.

02:27:52Who won Podcast of the Year?

02:27:54The listeners.

02:27:55The award-winning listeners of Part of My Take.

02:27:59Oh!

02:27:59A nine-peat, a nine-peat.

02:28:02Nine.

02:28:03Nine.

02:28:04Nine.

02:28:05Nine.

02:28:06Nine.

02:28:07Update those bios, incredible run.

02:28:09You're running out of fingers.

02:28:10Jason Pierre-Paul can't count the amount of times

02:28:14that you've won AWL.

02:28:16I thought this year was going to be Politicking for real.

02:28:17Politicking next year.

02:28:18I'm looking in my rear view mirror

02:28:20if I'm the AWList right now.

02:28:21Yes, so thank you to the AWLs.

02:28:25We've said it a million times,

02:28:26but I feel like I could say it every show.

02:28:29We live a dream life.

02:28:30We have the best job ever,

02:28:32and it's because you guys listen to this show.

02:28:34Like, we wouldn't be able to do this

02:28:35if you weren't as dedicated to us through ups and downs.

02:28:40Sometimes you hate us, sometimes you love us.

02:28:43Most of the time you hate Hank.

02:28:45Hank's not even here.

02:28:46That's fine.

02:28:47So listen to you get the award.

02:28:49Yeah, at the end of every episode I say love you guys.

02:28:51I truly mean that I love you guys.

02:28:52Thank you so much.

02:28:54It means the world to Big Cat, me, Hank,

02:28:57everybody in the booth.

02:28:58We really, really sincerely appreciate it

02:29:00because there's a bunch of podcasts out there.

02:29:02You don't have to listen to us.

02:29:04You've got other options, and you choose to,

02:29:06and it means so much to us.

02:29:07So sincerely thank you from the bottom of our hearts,

02:29:10and we love you guys.

02:29:10And it's also one of those things that nine times,

02:29:13it's crazy looking back,

02:29:15because I don't know if you feel the same way.

02:29:18It feels like we've been doing this podcast

02:29:20for like five minutes, because I don't know.

02:29:22It's like just time goes so fast

02:29:24when you're having the time of your life.

02:29:27But if you had told me, PFT, Hank,

02:29:31when we were sitting in your Austin apartment,

02:29:33or house, excuse me, I don't want to say, it was a house.

02:29:35It was a row house.

02:29:36It was a row house.

02:29:37If you told us when we were doing the test episode

02:29:39back in 2016 that we would have this type of success,

02:29:45and we'd be doing it for nine years,

02:29:47or eight years, but nine times for the takeys,

02:29:50I'd be like, there's no fucking way.

02:29:51There's just, I mean, I think we can do it,

02:29:54but I don't think that we're gonna reach these heights.

02:29:56We had that, I've told this story.

02:29:58We had that moment when we were driving

02:30:00from the Arizona Bowl back to Scottsdale,

02:30:04and we like, it was just two of us in the car,

02:30:06and we're like, what would happen

02:30:07if we didn't do this podcast?

02:30:10And it was a scary, scary thought.

02:30:11It's crazy.

02:30:12I think it's probably the best decision,

02:30:15at least in terms of our work, of our lives.

02:30:19Yeah.

02:30:19And it really is like, it's freaky sometimes

02:30:23to think that there's so many people

02:30:24that listen to every episode.

02:30:25Yeah.

02:30:26I try not to think about that as we're recording,

02:30:28but when I do have a moment where I get to sit back

02:30:31and think about it, it makes me just very,

02:30:33very thankful for all you guys.

02:30:34Yeah, yeah.

02:30:35Because it's, like I said, you've got a choice,

02:30:38and the fact that you choose us means a lot.

02:30:40Yeah. Thank you.

02:30:41It's immense gratitude that I don't think we can,

02:30:44we can't accurately convey it

02:30:47other than what we're saying right now,

02:30:48but like, what we're saying right now

02:30:50is a very small part of the gratitude we feel.

02:30:52So, what are you guys, in the booth,

02:30:54anything for the AWLs?

02:30:57Great year?

02:30:59Yeah, great year.

02:31:00I've only obviously been here for two.

02:31:02This is my second Takee since I've been on,

02:31:04but every year I meet more and more of you guys,

02:31:07and it's a great time every time I meet you,

02:31:10and I'm really grateful that you guys

02:31:11have given me this life,

02:31:13and I truly, truly do love you guys,

02:31:15like PFT always says.

02:31:16Yeah.

02:31:19Memes?

02:31:21I took some time to reflect last week

02:31:24when you let me ask some questions to Aaron Rodgers.

02:31:26I'm very appreciative of everybody on the show

02:31:29and all the people that listen.

02:31:30I was working in accounts receivable three years ago,

02:31:33and my entire life changed.

02:31:36So, thank you to everybody who listens.

02:31:38Yeah.

02:31:40Yeah, I mean, I'm obviously the newest one here.

02:31:42Been a week.

02:31:43Been a week.

02:31:47The people have been awesome.

02:31:48They've been really supportive and nice,

02:31:50and they seem to be very excited for the future

02:31:53and willing to hear out everything I got to say,

02:31:56and they just seem like great people,

02:31:58and I'm excited to work for them

02:32:00and work my ass off for them.

02:32:01Yeah.

02:32:03We have the best fans in the world.

02:32:05It's not even close.

02:32:06I'll put our fans up against anyone else

02:32:08any day of the week.

02:32:10I know there's some other podcasts

02:32:11that have added some strong fan bases.

02:32:13Still would take the AWLs over them.

02:32:15Oh, and Internet War?

02:32:16Oh, 100%.

02:32:17Yeah.

02:32:18Especially since her next album's gonna stink.

02:32:19Yes, exactly.

02:32:20She's too happy.

02:32:21Not naming names.

02:32:22She's too happy.

02:32:23The thing about me and Big Cat is we're always upset.

02:32:25Yes.

02:32:26So, there's always something to gripe about

02:32:27for people to identify with.

02:32:29Except, actually, now we might be entering phase two

02:32:31of part of my take,

02:32:32where me and Big Cat have elite quarterbacks.

02:32:34Yeah, true.

02:32:36Actually, yeah, we might be going down the we're too happy.

02:32:39This might be when the whole podcast just submarines,

02:32:42because everyone's like,

02:32:43we don't wanna listen to winners all the time.

02:32:45Yep, yep.

02:32:46So, at least with Chiefs fans, when they listen to us,

02:32:48and if they think that we're doubting Patrick Mahomes

02:32:51or their team,

02:32:52they can at least take solace in the fact

02:32:53that they win something.

02:32:54But if our teams win,

02:32:55then everyone else is gonna be like, fuck you guys.

02:32:58But we sincerely thank you very, very much.

02:33:00Thank you for listening to Take E Awards,

02:33:02and we really love you guys.

02:33:03Yeah, so let's finish up with numbers.

02:33:07Okay, great Take E's, boys.

02:33:09Congrats again to the AWLs, nine in a row.

02:33:12Hank, what do you think?

02:33:14Proud.

02:33:15Proud.

02:33:16They did it.

02:33:17Proud.

02:33:18Are you wearing those glasses upside down now?

02:33:20He's high.

02:33:21No.

02:33:22I'm not high.

02:33:22Why do you think I'm high?

02:33:25Incredible Take E's.

02:33:26I love doing the Take E's awards every single year.

02:33:29So much fun.

02:33:30And we do give the award-winning listeners a lot of credit.

02:33:34And every year, I think we say it on the show,

02:33:36but we really do love you.

02:33:37Thank you very much for listening.

02:33:38Yes.

02:33:39We appreciate you guys.

02:33:40You're the best people in the world.

02:33:41We need to do a better job for next year's Take E's

02:33:43of figuring out the Take E's as they happen in real time.

02:33:46Who's gonna be in charge of that?

02:33:48Because every year we do the same thing.

02:33:49I'm gonna be all over it.

02:33:51Oh, hell yes.

02:33:51All over it.

02:33:52No, but you're gonna inject it with pro-Philly vibes.

02:33:55No, I'm not.

02:33:56All right.

02:33:56No, that's good.

02:33:57You and memes, it's a combo.

02:33:58Yeah, combos.

02:34:00We do do this every single year

02:34:01where we get to the Take E's

02:34:02and then a day before, we're like,

02:34:04wait, what happened this last year?

02:34:05Yeah.

02:34:06But we pulled it together.

02:34:07I think we had some great winners.

02:34:09Congrats to all the winners.

02:34:11And let's go to numbers.

02:34:1556.

02:34:1520.

02:34:1642.

02:34:17Love that.

02:34:18Nine.

02:34:19This would be great if, you know,

02:34:20can't win the big one, just immediately got a race.

02:34:22Yeah, but you admit you can't win the big one.

02:34:24Eight, no.

02:34:27Let's pick one for the AWLs, just for fun.

02:34:30They can have mine.

02:34:31No.

02:34:32Three.

02:34:32What should we pick for the AWL?

02:34:33Nine.

02:34:34Nine, nine.

02:34:35I picked nine.

02:34:36Oh.

02:34:37But they can have it.

02:34:37I'll give them 11.

02:34:38No, no, no, they got nine.

02:34:39It's gonna be four.

02:34:40Hank, new number.

02:34:43Hank, new number.

02:34:4517.

02:34:46Three.

02:34:46Pug, Shane, Pug.

02:34:4999, Pug.

02:34:5221.

02:34:52Same again, in order.

02:34:53Memes, go around the room.

02:34:55Three.

02:34:5620.

02:34:5742.

02:34:5899, Pug.

02:34:5921.

02:35:00Eight.

02:35:0156.

02:35:0217.

02:35:03AWLs have nine.

02:35:1515.

02:35:16Damn, T-Vol.

02:35:1715.

02:35:19Mahomes.

02:35:21Love you guys.

Category

Transcript

Recommended