FULL VIDEO EPISODE: The 2024 Takie Awards, 28 Winners, Guest Presenters + Blake Of The Year
Jake Marsh | Pardon My Take
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00:00:00Okay, my preemptive take of the year.
00:00:04I believe Henry Lockwood is going to dunk.
00:00:09Let's go.
00:00:10Not.
00:00:11I can't believe you fell for that.
00:00:18On today's part of my take, the 2024 takies are here.
00:00:25Magical evening in sports.
00:00:26Yes.
00:00:27We have 28 awards to give out the greatest awards in the sports media landscape.
00:00:34We have everything.
00:00:35We have lib of the year.
00:00:36We have take of the year.
00:00:37We have Blake of the year.
00:00:38We have viral woman of the year and of course, podcast listeners of the year.
00:00:44So it's going to be a great show.
00:00:45We're very excited and it's brought to you by our friends at draft Kings, not playing
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00:01:54Okay, let's go.
00:02:54Welcome to part of my take presented by draft Kings.
00:03:06Get in on all the best ball action.
00:03:08Download the draft Kings app.
00:03:09Use code take.
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00:03:15to get a bonus ticket and get a shot at being crowned one of two millionaires only on draft
00:03:19Kings.
00:03:20Today is Wednesday, July 31st and it is the 2024 take ease.
00:03:28Yay.
00:03:29Yeah.
00:03:30All right.
00:03:31So sports, sports, if anyone is listening to their first take ease, this is our yearly
00:03:37sports award that we do in the middle of summer.
00:03:41It basically goes from the back half of 2023 to 2024 at this moment.
00:03:46We have 28 awards that we are giving out tonight.
00:03:50It will all culminate in podcast listener of the year award.
00:03:55The AWLs are going for a ninth, nine Pete, whole nine Pete would be a record.
00:04:00It would be a record for most take ease one by anybody.
00:04:03This is like John Wooden UCLA, Hamilton, the 20 Yankees, the pyramid of success of listening
00:04:08to part of my take.
00:04:09So you're part of it.
00:04:10Yeah.
00:04:11So it's a, it's going to be a great award show.
00:04:13We should say too, if you're listening and you want to watch, we look good boys wearing
00:04:19suits, get all kidded up.
00:04:21Boys looking nice.
00:04:22Even the boys in the booth.
00:04:23Yeah.
00:04:24I would say, uh, the boys in the booth are looking, they're looking good.
00:04:29They're looking like, I would say over three and a half DUIs between them.
00:04:33Yeah.
00:04:34Looking, uh, one of them's not paying child support.
00:04:37Huey definitely looks like a college kid going to court for the first time.
00:04:40Yeah.
00:04:41He's got a drunken public ticket showing up.
00:04:43I'm going to put on a collared shirt, but I'm going to keep the undershirt on.
00:04:47Probably not fully tucked in, but it's a good look.
00:04:49And the judge is going to give him a lenient sentence cause he's just going to look at
00:04:53him and be like, man, this kid doesn't have a lot going on for him.
00:04:56Well, he's going to look at him and be like, uh, your father owns a business.
00:05:00You seem like a good kid.
00:05:01Let's learn from this.
00:05:02Yeah.
00:05:03Max, Max might, might be the one missing out on child support.
00:05:06I can't see memes.
00:05:07No.
00:05:08Max looks like Huey's lawyer.
00:05:09Yeah.
00:05:10Stand up memes.
00:05:12He looks like an accountant.
00:05:13Yeah.
00:05:14It actually looks me.
00:05:15Oh, it looks pretty appropriate.
00:05:16I mean, uh, memes looks like a pedophile.
00:05:17Now that I'm thinking about it cause he didn't have his glasses on.
00:05:20He looks like he's going.
00:05:21Yeah.
00:05:22He gets to catch predator.
00:05:23I was going to say he looks like an Amish kid that went on rum Springer and had too
00:05:26much fun learning how to do like a, like basic Excel operations.
00:05:30Yeah.
00:05:31So he's a former Amish kid that now loves computers and works at a tech firm.
00:05:35Us in here.
00:05:36We look good.
00:05:37Hank, you look like a playboy.
00:05:39Yeah.
00:05:40Yeah.
00:05:41Yeah.
00:05:42Whenever you break out the round sunglasses, you know, Hank is either ready to do the takeys
00:05:47or took way too many drugs.
00:05:49He looks like a factor fiction, a fiction.
00:05:55You look like a Beatles drug dealer.
00:05:59Circle glasses play.
00:06:00I know.
00:06:01Squares are too, too big for my, my little face.
00:06:02Yeah.
00:06:03It's kind of like an evil scientist type look too.
00:06:05Yeah.
00:06:06You're cooking something weird out.
00:06:07Yeah.
00:06:09You look like a tech, like a tech.
00:06:10I'm in tech, but I'm really just like selling drugs.
00:06:12Yeah.
00:06:13You look like a futurist.
00:06:14Yeah.
00:06:15You look like the guy that sits Elon down.
00:06:16He comes in like the banana boat.
00:06:17He brings in a suitcase of ketamine and then tells him what the future is going to be with
00:06:21robots.
00:06:22Yes.
00:06:23I like that.
00:06:24Okay.
00:06:25That's a good, that's a good job.
00:06:26It's a good life.
00:06:27Um, we also should have said, uh, at the start that in the past we've done cameos this year.
00:06:31We wanted to bring it back home.
00:06:32So we had all the time either.
00:06:34Yeah.
00:06:35We haven't done it over here.
00:06:36We did it the last couple of years.
00:06:37So we figured let's have our friends of the program, our good friends, recurring guests,
00:06:42uh, present a couple of the awards.
00:06:44So we have some guest presenters that will be great, uh, for the listeners.
00:06:48See some familiar faces, some friends and uh, yeah.
00:06:51Should we, should we do it?
00:06:5228 awards to give out.
00:06:54Let's kick into it.
00:06:55Okay.
00:06:56So we're going to start with the, uh, take of the year.
00:07:00We're starting off with the wall.
00:07:02Yeah.
00:07:03We're starting off with a bang.
00:07:04Set the stage.
00:07:05I think the takies take of the year would be the finale, but no, that's actually the
00:07:09preemptive towards the end.
00:07:11Uh, take the year.
00:07:12We have a lot.
00:07:13We have a lot to get through.
00:07:14I want to laugh about a lot of these, uh, shout out our good friend, uh, old takes exposed.
00:07:19He helps us with this every single year.
00:07:21Let's just dive into it.
00:07:22I want to hear what you guys have to think about a lot of these.
00:07:24Okay.
00:07:25Uh, a lot of these are takes that were said maybe a couple of years ago, but they came
00:07:29true this year.
00:07:31So that's when they, you know, a good take usually takes a couple of years to fully grow
00:07:37and become a beautiful tree.
00:07:39And then we can harvest from it.
00:07:40Yeah.
00:07:41You got to give it some time until it becomes flame and hot.
00:07:43Yes.
00:07:44It really reaches, uh, the truth.
00:07:45Yeah.
00:07:46So some of the ones that have come true this year that I loved, uh, this one is from, uh,
00:07:50Neil Iyer on SB nation.
00:07:53This was from February 11th, 2022.
00:07:56The Derek white trade is a disaster.
00:07:59Sorry, folks.
00:08:00Brad Stevens made his first major mistake as GM.
00:08:03Oh, that's a good take.
00:08:04That's a good take.
00:08:05That's a good take.
00:08:06Disaster.
00:08:07Disaster.
00:08:08And was the, was the trade a disaster because Kyrie Irving was on the team?
00:08:10I, I don't know what exactly the trade, why it was a disaster, but Derek white was the
00:08:16ultimate glue guy for the Celtics championship run.
00:08:18Was it not?
00:08:20And the first year to the first year.
00:08:21Yeah.
00:08:22First two years.
00:08:23Yeah.
00:08:24Maybe it was just, he was saying like Kyrie Irving will never win a championship for the
00:08:26Celtics with this Derek white trade, which was, might've been true.
00:08:31Disaster Kyrie.
00:08:32Cause 2022 Kyrie was already on the nets.
00:08:33Okay.
00:08:34Oh yeah.
00:08:35Yeah.
00:08:36True.
00:08:37But a disaster experiment.
00:08:38Yeah.
00:08:39Uh, here's one, this will be a theme.
00:08:40Colin coward is, is featured many times in this one.
00:08:42This is from 2020.
00:08:43This one was beautiful to watch sprout this year.
00:08:47Name the top 100 players ever hard to find many that didn't love the game.
00:08:54Passion matters to me.
00:08:56But Hey, Anthony Edwards has great measurables.
00:09:01I don't think you could think of one person that like loves the game more than Anthony
00:09:04Edwards does right now.
00:09:05But I love those takes, especially during NFL draft season where they're like, I, he's
00:09:09a great player, but is he really in love with football?
00:09:11Yeah.
00:09:12Would he marry a football?
00:09:13Yeah.
00:09:14Uh, yeah.
00:09:15Anthony Edwards, I would say he loves basketball.
00:09:16He had a, he had a very good year and he, he clearly cares a lot and sometimes you don't
00:09:20have to care about, you don't have to love the sport if you just love winning so much
00:09:24that you just don't want to lose in anything you do.
00:09:26Yes, yes, exactly.
00:09:28Uh, here's a good one from Pierce W Huff.
00:09:31This is a call that should happen.
00:09:33Hey, Monty Williams, this is Brad Stevens with the Celtics.
00:09:37I'm about to fire Joe Missoula.
00:09:39Would you be interested in coaching our team?
00:09:41That's a great call.
00:09:42It would be, it was coward to know that was a Pierce W Huff.
00:09:46It would be a very funny phone call.
00:09:47Yeah, it would be.
00:09:49Yeah.
00:09:50Monty Williams, although he, he's pretty good at getting paid.
00:09:52He might be just a good coach at getting paid.
00:09:53That's true.
00:09:54Uh, yeah, I think it worked out well.
00:09:55Yeah, it worked out great.
00:09:56Uh, I want, I want to do a little game called, uh, who said this quote, you ready for this
00:10:01one?
00:10:02I'm not leaving until I get a super bowl.
00:10:05This is about a player that was drafted to a team.
00:10:09Stefan digs.
00:10:10Nope.
00:10:11Oh, drafted, drafted to a team.
00:10:14I'm not leaving until I get a super bowl.
00:10:17I'll say this right now.
00:10:18I could give you a thousand guesses.
00:10:20I don't think you'd get it.
00:10:21Zach Wilson.
00:10:22No.
00:10:24No.
00:10:25Again, a thousand guesses.
00:10:26I don't think you'd get it.
00:10:27That way.
00:10:28Lance.
00:10:29No, that was said by Desmond Ritter after getting drafted by the Falcons, Desmond Ritter
00:10:35is now on the Arizona Cardinals.
00:10:36Oh, that's good to know.
00:10:37I didn't know that.
00:10:38Yes.
00:10:39That's good.
00:10:40So he did in fact leave before getting a super bowl for the Falcon in Atlanta.
00:10:43Yeah.
00:10:44You should just never say that as a Falcon.
00:10:45Yeah.
00:10:46These are, these are all very fun.
00:10:47Uh, the, we, we addressed this one actually, uh, in February, but it's still one that needs
00:10:53to be revisited because in 2019 the athletic wrote a piece and said, uh, in case you missed
00:10:58it, Patrick Mahone's has thrown 36% of Troy Aikman's career touchdowns in about 8% of
00:11:04the games.
00:11:05And Troy Aikman quote treated that in 2019 and said, in case you missed it, talk to me
00:11:10when he has 33% of my super bowl titles.
00:11:14He now has a hundred percent of his super bowl titles.
00:11:17That was tough.
00:11:18But Troy, Troy walked that back later.
00:11:19He was like, okay, he did it.
00:11:21He did it.
00:11:22He did it.
00:11:23Uh, this one is from Nick, right?
00:11:25This, this may, he said, by the time the Celtics adjust to playing real playoff basketball,
00:11:30the Mavs are going to be up three, one Hank, like that one.
00:11:34Yeah.
00:11:35Yeah.
00:11:36That's a strong one.
00:11:37That's a strong way.
00:11:38It was Nick.
00:11:39One of the ones leading the charge at the Lakers were actually the best team in the
00:11:41way.
00:11:42He was one of them.
00:11:43Yes.
00:11:44And then he pivoted to the map.
00:11:45We get any Kevin O'Connor Celtics takes.
00:11:46I don't think I have any.
00:11:47He had a lot.
00:11:48He had some, he did say the war.
00:11:49Yeah.
00:11:50He said that every team that the Celtics were playing was going to beat them.
00:11:53Yeah.
00:11:54Basically picked every team to win the championship except the South.
00:11:56He said the nuggets there.
00:11:57There's no chance to sell it to beat the nuggets in a seven game series.
00:12:00Um, a two for, for Cal Cal said in February, we're built for March, not April, April.
00:12:08They're built for March.
00:12:10Forgot about Gorky.
00:12:11Yeah.
00:12:12And then also, uh, the ad at Kentucky, Mitch Barnhart said, as we normally do at the end
00:12:16of every season, coach Cal and I have had a conversation about the direction of our
00:12:20men's basketball program, and I can confirm that he will return for a 16th season as our
00:12:25head coach.
00:12:26Then something weird happened.
00:12:27Then the chicken, the chicken man, the chicken man gave him a call.
00:12:31Yeah.
00:12:32Um, these are, these are all just fantastic.
00:12:34Again.
00:12:35Shout out our guy.
00:12:36Old takes exposed.
00:12:37We'll rip through a few more and then we'll, we'll give you a winner.
00:12:38Uh, Mason Dodd said, hate to be the only grownup in the room.
00:12:41I like this one just because he's, he's admitting he's the only grownup in the room.
00:12:45Yeah.
00:12:46Yeah.
00:12:47Yeah.
00:12:48Memes would love that based on how he looks.
00:12:49Yeah.
00:12:50Hate to be the only grownup in the room, but Puka Nakua has no upside.
00:12:55Fifth round rookie wide receiver on bottom five teams.
00:12:57Don't move the needle.
00:12:58I love the guy having a strong take about a fifth round receiver to like hate this pick.
00:13:02Yeah.
00:13:03I don't think this guy's going to be a superstar.
00:13:04You're going out on a limb and then when it gets cut out from under, you look like a dumbass.
00:13:08Not only that, but just to be the hate to be the grownup in the room like that really
00:13:11sets you up.
00:13:13Yeah.
00:13:14Um, we had, you never want to be the grownup in the room.
00:13:16No, you never.
00:13:17Nobody likes the grownup in the room.
00:13:18This one.
00:13:19Uh, you will like Hank.
00:13:20Uh, Dan Orlovsky said in 2021 he believes Belichick will win another Superbowl with
00:13:29Mack Jones, a QB.
00:13:31And he said, Mack Jones is the best rookie QB that I have ever seen since doing this
00:13:36job when it comes to knowing where to go with the football, when to go with the football
00:13:40and how to throw that football.
00:13:42Ever seen.
00:13:43Ever seen.
00:13:44Ever seen.
00:13:45What are the criteria that he has knowing where to go with football, where to go with
00:13:48the football, when to go with the football.
00:13:51Nope.
00:13:52When to go with the football.
00:13:53How to throw the football.
00:13:54How to throw, but he's short, but he doesn't specify actually throwing the football.
00:13:58No.
00:13:59That's the big one.
00:14:00Yeah.
00:14:01So Dan Orlovsky might not be wrong about those two things.
00:14:02With, when, how.
00:14:04Now there is a possibility that, that Belichick will win a Superbowl at some point with Mack
00:14:08Jones.
00:14:09That's true.
00:14:10Can't close that door.
00:14:11Yep.
00:14:12I remember the Cal one, uh, Terry on Arnold, Alabama cornerback said, coach Saban ain't
00:14:16going nowhere.
00:14:17He's going to die coaching.
00:14:20That one was, that one was nice.
00:14:21RIP.
00:14:22That one was very nice.
00:14:23Uh, Max, you'll like these next two.
00:14:26Uh, congratulations to the 2023 NFC East champion, Philadelphia Eagles.
00:14:31That was from November 5th, 2023.
00:14:34And also Colin Coward said, uh, he said, let me pull this up.
00:14:41That was in 2023 fall.
00:14:46Oh, that was before Max.
00:14:49How did those go?
00:14:51Not well.
00:14:53Personal favorite of mine.
00:14:54Chad Johnson said in September, 2023, all you fucking doubting all you fuckers doubting
00:14:58Zach Wilson.
00:14:59Don't jump on our bandwagon later.
00:15:01I didn't, and I won't, I won't.
00:15:03I'm not going to.
00:15:04I never did.
00:15:05Not going to, not going to jump on any bandwagons.
00:15:07There might've been one from the bears from training campus that Sundays are going to
00:15:10be fun.
00:15:11Uh, and then my last nominee is, uh, from Cade McNamara on playing QB for Iowa.
00:15:17Please just keep on saying it's the shittiest offense in college football.
00:15:21Please just think we are going to be so shitty next year, please.
00:15:24That's a lot of pleases.
00:15:26Yeah.
00:15:27And they're, I mean, they had a great punting system this year.
00:15:29Yeah.
00:15:30Great punting system.
00:15:31Great return game.
00:15:32Yeah, that's about it.
00:15:33Yeah.
00:15:34Good punting.
00:15:35Do you guys remember any of your takes that were notably bad?
00:15:37I don't think I had a single bad one this year.
00:15:38Yeah.
00:15:40I think I was a hundred percent accurate.
00:15:41I might've said Justin Fields is the guy a hundred times, but I also walked that back.
00:15:45I might've said Sam Howell's the guy.
00:15:47I might've said that there's no way the Celtics are going to lose to Luca or beat Luca.
00:15:51Yeah.
00:15:52Hank, I had a good year.
00:15:55Yeah.
00:15:56Actually you, you did cause you just, you either won or were terrible.
00:15:58Yeah.
00:15:59So the lighthouse was real.
00:16:00Yeah.
00:16:01Well, we'll get to that.
00:16:02We have a take you for that.
00:16:03All right.
00:16:05The winner for the 2024 take of the year takey is Dan Orlovsky.
00:16:13Congratulations.
00:16:14Dan Orlovsky.
00:16:15Incredible.
00:16:16Saying he believes Belichick will win another Superbowl with Mack Jones at QB.
00:16:21Mack Jones is the best rookie QB that I've ever seen since doing this job when it comes
00:16:25to knowing where to go with the football, when to go with the football and how to throw
00:16:29that football.
00:16:30Ever seen is just something you should not.
00:16:31Ever seen is crazy.
00:16:32That's what it was.
00:16:34It was like the sixth QB draft that is class.
00:16:36Yeah.
00:16:37It was between that and the hate to be the adult in the room where the, where I think
00:16:40the two finalists, because it's not a, to win the take of the year, you have to really
00:16:45like do a, say something in it that is so absolute that it's like, come on man.
00:16:52Ever seen.
00:16:53The adult in the room is a tough one because you're, you're already, you're crowning yourself
00:16:56by introducing or introducing your point that way.
00:16:59The Orlovsky take about Mack Jones is noteworthy just because of how badly Mack Jones flamed
00:17:04out this year.
00:17:05So you're getting, you get benched multiple times for Bailey's happy.
00:17:08It's tough to say, well, you know what?
00:17:10Maybe he was a great, maybe, maybe we're misremembering.
00:17:13Maybe we're allowing the recent history of Mack Jones to not remember how great he was,
00:17:18how great he was.
00:17:19Yeah.
00:17:20We'll always have that season.
00:17:21I also am now thinking about it.
00:17:22I don't think there's ever been an adult in a, in a room that has argued about a fifth
00:17:27round draft pick.
00:17:28No, no.
00:17:30No, that's the exact opposite of being an adult.
00:17:32The adult in the room says, why are you guys arguing over a fifth round draft pick?
00:17:36Yeah.
00:17:37Hey, this is crazy.
00:17:38Yeah.
00:17:39Hate to be the only one with a level head on my shoulders, but let's have an argument
00:17:41about Puka Nakua.
00:17:42Yeah.
00:17:43Okay.
00:17:44PFT, you have our next award.
00:17:45Yeah.
00:17:46Next up we're doing, this is an award that I absolutely love.
00:17:49Yup.
00:17:50We've done it, I believe every year.
00:17:51The show, maybe not the first one, but it's the lib of the year award, live of the year.
00:17:55And we've got a stacked roster of nominees.
00:17:59First off, Chris Long.
00:18:00Oh.
00:18:01For a career excellence in libness.
00:18:02This is a lifetime achievement award.
00:18:04Lifetime achievement award.
00:18:05It's a participation trophy.
00:18:07How many lib of the years has he won?
00:18:08I believe two or three.
00:18:10Yeah.
00:18:11He's, he, he libs.
00:18:12He libs hard.
00:18:13He, he's like the bagel bites, pizza in the morning, pizza in the evening.
00:18:15He just libs, lib in the morning, lib in the evening, lib at supper time.
00:18:19Yeah.
00:18:20He's got the, the lib strong wristbands that he wears all the time.
00:18:24Chris Long's nominated.
00:18:26Travis Kelsey also nominated.
00:18:27Yeah.
00:18:29He's been working commercial performances.
00:18:30Yeah.
00:18:31The flies are trying to get us to get the shot.
00:18:32Yep.
00:18:33How much do you think he got paid for that?
00:18:36Four million.
00:18:37Probably a lot.
00:18:38Probably a lot.
00:18:39Four million?
00:18:40I'd say more.
00:18:41Do you think he got free shots for life?
00:18:42You should.
00:18:43Yeah.
00:18:44You should.
00:18:45Yeah.
00:18:46Also nominated, we have Billy Football.
00:18:47Oh.
00:18:48Nominated for lib of the year.
00:18:49What did he do?
00:18:50He ran for office against a bunch of Republicans.
00:18:51Oh, he must be a big lib.
00:18:52Must be a big lib then.
00:18:53Yeah.
00:18:54And then final nominee is Jersey Jerry.
00:18:56Jersey Jerry's nominated for lib of the year.
00:18:58He's talked on live streams a lot about how much he loves Joey B.
00:19:01Yep.
00:19:02Joey B is his guy.
00:19:03Yeah.
00:19:04He's actually been saying, he's been walking around the office being like, oh, you guys
00:19:06got to just trust in Mamala.
00:19:07Yep.
00:19:08Mamala, that's his goat.
00:19:10So we have a very special presenter for lib of the year, political commentator, Nick
00:19:16Adams, USA.
00:19:17Okay.
00:19:18From Australia.
00:19:19G'day boys.
00:19:20Nick Adams, alpha male here.
00:19:22Now this next award goes out to the most oversawed Marxist on Barstool staff.
00:19:31It's called the lib of the year.
00:19:36This is a man, and I use that term lightly, who took dozens of hours to get a single hole
00:19:45in one on a golf simulator and takes his marching orders from pro communist unions.
00:19:54I can confidently say he hasn't stepped foot inside a Hooters in at least 10 years.
00:20:04Without further ado, the 2024 lib of the year award goes to Jersey Jerry.
00:20:14You should be ashamed of yourself, son.
00:20:17Oh, that's beautiful.
00:20:19Thank you, Nick.
00:20:20I appreciate that.
00:20:21Jerry.
00:20:22Jerry's.
00:20:23I just texted him to see if he can come accept it because I have to imagine he's so excited
00:20:26about this.
00:20:27Yeah.
00:20:28He's named after a state that I can't remember the last time they went red.
00:20:30That's true.
00:20:31That's true.
00:20:32Jersey.
00:20:33Jerry.
00:20:34What a lib.
00:20:35Big lib.
00:20:36That's what, when I think of libs, I think of Jerry first.
00:20:37A hundred percent.
00:20:38Yeah.
00:20:39First and foremost.
00:20:40He drives a foreign car.
00:20:41Yeah, that is.
00:20:42Yeah.
00:20:44Okay.
00:20:45I heard he actually is a vegetarian now.
00:20:46Yes.
00:20:47No, vegan.
00:20:48Vegan Jersey.
00:20:49Vegan.
00:20:50Vegan Jersey.
00:20:51Jerry's what they're calling him.
00:20:52Interesting.
00:20:53Yeah.
00:20:54Okay.
00:20:55Great award.
00:20:56We'll get Jerry to stop in when he gets in here to accept that award.
00:20:57I'd like to just see his face, how he reacts to that.
00:21:01Next up, we have death of the year.
00:21:04Big year for death.
00:21:05Death.
00:21:06It put up some numbers.
00:21:07Huge year for death.
00:21:08We had that string the weekend where it was Monty Kiffin, Shannon Doherty, and Richard
00:21:16Simmons all in one weekend.
00:21:18It was like, what's going on?
00:21:20But the nominees, we have Richard Simmons, dead.
00:21:24Let's remember that he's dead.
00:21:26Yeah.
00:21:27He was one of those, he was definitely in the camp of, you could have told me he was
00:21:30dead five years ago.
00:21:31We've been like, sure.
00:21:32Yeah.
00:21:33He would have been a great football coach, I think.
00:21:34Yeah.
00:21:35Yeah.
00:21:36For one year.
00:21:37A motivator.
00:21:39Yeah.
00:21:40When things go wrong in the locker room, you're like, get this guy out of here.
00:21:41Yeah.
00:21:42We lost OJ Simpson this year.
00:21:44Rest.
00:21:45Yes.
00:21:46Toby Keith.
00:21:47Very sad.
00:21:48Oh, yeah.
00:21:49Yeah.
00:21:50Toby Keith.
00:21:51Legend.
00:21:52Yep.
00:21:53Love Toby Keith.
00:21:54And then we also lost Matthew Perry, who is nominated for death of the year.
00:21:56Talented Mr. Roto?
00:21:58No, Matthew Perry.
00:22:00Perry with a P. Matthew Perry.
00:22:03Yeah.
00:22:04Okay.
00:22:05And the winner for death of the year for 2024 takey is OJ Simpson.
00:22:13Congrats, OJ.
00:22:14You're dead, bitch.
00:22:15You're dead.
00:22:16You're dead.
00:22:17You're dead.
00:22:18You're so dead.
00:22:19Sorry.
00:22:20Much, much, much better football player than human being.
00:22:21Yeah.
00:22:22And he's dead.
00:22:23And he's very dead.
00:22:24He's also extremely dead.
00:22:25He's so fucking dead.
00:22:26So dead.
00:22:27Dead is dead.
00:22:28Let the record show OJ is fucking dead.
00:22:31Me?
00:22:32I wouldn't die.
00:22:33Do you remember when Hank found out that OJ died because he slipped in?
00:22:35That was one of my favorite parts of the year.
00:22:37We got to actually put that clip in.
00:22:38Yeah, let's put that in.
00:22:39We got to put that clip in.
00:22:40That was incredible.
00:22:41That was in midst of Hank either missing shows because he was sleeping too late or he was
00:22:48all over the place sleeping.
00:22:49Yeah.
00:22:50You actually, you missed OJ's death.
00:22:51Yeah.
00:22:52OJ died.
00:22:53Did you know that?
00:22:54What?
00:22:55OJ died.
00:22:56Yeah.
00:22:57Oh, nice.
00:22:58We get to break the news to Hank.
00:22:59OJ's dead.
00:23:00OJ Simpson?
00:23:01Dead.
00:23:03Died by death.
00:23:04Dead.
00:23:05That's confirmed.
00:23:06Yes.
00:23:07Confirmed dead.
00:23:08Everyone's been talking about it.
00:23:09Very dead.
00:23:10That's insane.
00:23:11He is dead.
00:23:12He ain't coming back.
00:23:13That is absolutely insane.
00:23:14Wow.
00:23:15I wish we hadn't told him.
00:23:16Yeah.
00:23:17See how long could he go without knowing.
00:23:18It was back of the week on Monday.
00:23:19Yeah.
00:23:20Wow.
00:23:21So Hank, you didn't know OJ died?
00:23:22No.
00:23:23What are your thoughts on OJ?
00:23:24Bad guy.
00:23:25Yeah.
00:23:26Good riddance.
00:23:27And woke up at 11 a.m. one day on a show day and found out that OJ died.
00:23:31I hope everybody out there had the pleasure and the opportunity of getting to break the
00:23:34OJ death news to somebody.
00:23:36Yes.
00:23:37That was an honor to do that to Hank.
00:23:38Yes.
00:23:39Yes.
00:23:40I didn't believe it.
00:23:41Yeah.
00:23:42No, he's dead.
00:23:43Won the trophy and everything.
00:23:44Dead person of the year.
00:23:45Dead person of the year.
00:23:46Okay.
00:23:47We should get death back on the podcast.
00:23:48I agree.
00:23:49Recurring guest.
00:23:50We got to find him.
00:23:51So yeah.
00:23:52What would you say for like you don't want him to rest in peace?
00:23:53No.
00:23:54Rest in piss.
00:23:55Rest in piss.
00:23:56Yeah.
00:23:57Rest in piss.
00:23:58RIP Bozo.
00:23:59Rest in piss.
00:24:00He won't be missed.
00:24:01He's smoking on that Simpson pack.
00:24:04Hell is your offensive line being 120 pounds and you got to pound the rock.
00:24:08I don't think OJ would have held up over a 17 game season.
00:24:11Agreed.
00:24:12Especially 18 too.
00:24:13Yeah.
00:24:14Couldn't play in today's NFL.
00:24:15Someone threw out the idea which I kind of liked.
00:24:18Actually I take it back.
00:24:20I don't like it, but it was interesting.
00:24:2118 game season.
00:24:24Every player can only play a maximum of 16 games.
00:24:27Oh, I like that.
00:24:28But then I was like, I don't like it because it would really suck to be excited about a
00:24:34game and be like, fuck, now we're watching Desmond Ritter.
00:24:38Yeah.
00:24:39I like it in theory because it just, it's chaos.
00:24:41Yeah.
00:24:42It's a wrinkle.
00:24:43Strategery would be awesome.
00:24:44Like 17.
00:24:45You can't do two games.
00:24:48Everyone has to sit out one week.
00:24:50Yeah.
00:24:51This sounds a lot like Little League where everybody gets to play.
00:24:53And I was thinking about, the more I was thinking about it, I was like, all right, I liked it
00:24:58at first.
00:24:59And then I thought I definitely would get fucked because I'd like bet a line on Monday
00:25:04and then they'd be like, this is the game we're throwing.
00:25:05Yeah.
00:25:06And I'd get fucked.
00:25:07Yeah.
00:25:08There's so furious.
00:25:09A lot of reasons why that probably wouldn't work out in reality, but it's, it's fun to
00:25:11think about.
00:25:12It's a fun, it's a fun idea.
00:25:13It's a thought experiment.
00:25:14It's a very good screening.
00:25:15This is how it's ruled.
00:25:16This is how dudes use our imagination.
00:25:17Yeah.
00:25:18We just think about wrinkles to the 18 game season puzzle.
00:25:20Yeah.
00:25:2118 games is so good.
00:25:22Yeah.
00:25:23We should get like a, like what was the, um, what was the movie where they were cracking
00:25:27the code for the Nazis or they were cracking the code of the Nazi imitation game?
00:25:31Yeah.
00:25:32We need that.
00:25:33We need a, we need a camp with nerds trying to figure out the perfect 18 game schedule.
00:25:37It would be very funny though to see if, if they did have that rule where each player
00:25:41could only play 16 games, the dumbest coaches would think that they had it figured out and
00:25:45they completely screw it up.
00:25:47Correct.
00:25:48That, that would be like Mike McCarthy would absolutely fuck that idea up.
00:25:52Yes.
00:25:53Absolutely.
00:25:54Uh, yeah.
00:25:55He'd like seed one week.
00:25:56He'd see, he'd sit his entire defense next week, sit his entire office.
00:26:00He'd sit Dak and CD lamb at the same time and be like, we're using this as an opportunity
00:26:04to see what a roster is going to look like next season.
00:26:06Yeah.
00:26:07And then, and then the week that they don't sit, like they stay, would sit Dak and CD
00:26:10lamb and then a different week he would sit the entire offensive line.
00:26:14Yeah.
00:26:15Dak will get killed.
00:26:16Yeah.
00:26:17It was like, God damn it.
00:26:18Mike McCarthy, our computer guys, our computer guys told us this is the right move.
00:26:22Uh, okay, next up.
00:26:23Next up we have the lighthouse of the year, the lighthouse of the year, a lot of good
00:26:29lighthouses out there.
00:26:30This is a huge year, maybe the biggest year in the history of this show for lighthouses.
00:26:34I'd say they're having a moment.
00:26:36The nominees are to the lighthouse.
00:26:39The book.
00:26:40Oh.
00:26:41Nominated.
00:26:42It's a great, great book.
00:26:43Was that the book?
00:26:44We got them.
00:26:45I got them.
00:26:46Uh, I don't know.
00:26:47Did I get you a book?
00:26:48Hey, that's the meanest thing you could do.
00:26:49Yeah.
00:26:50Well, it's a children's book.
00:26:52It was about lighthouses.
00:26:53It was about lighthouses.
00:26:54Yeah.
00:26:55We read it.
00:26:56It was in the old app.
00:26:57Yeah.
00:26:58Yeah.
00:26:59Okay.
00:27:00That, that book is also nominated.
00:27:01Okay.
00:27:02Whatever that book was called.
00:27:03Hank, you remember it?
00:27:04What was it called?
00:27:05I don't know.
00:27:06Okay.
00:27:07I remember the book.
00:27:08I don't remember the name.
00:27:09Remember seeing a book.
00:27:10You saw a book and you ran the other direction.
00:27:11Hank's seen so many books in his life.
00:27:12Hank thinks see something, say something is about books.
00:27:13Yeah.
00:27:14Hey, do you have any, do you own any books?
00:27:15I do.
00:27:16What books do you own in your, in your home?
00:27:18Hank sees a backpack full of books and he calls the cops.
00:27:21I have a Larry Bird biography that I've, I've been, I've read like 10 pages of at multiple
00:27:27points.
00:27:28I'm not.
00:27:29Hey, listen, I've started over 40 books in the last five years, not finished a single
00:27:32one of them.
00:27:33So I'm, I'm with you on that.
00:27:34I have a book about habit that I'm also trying to read about breaking, breaking bad habits.
00:27:40Okay.
00:27:41But you can't, I haven't finished reading.
00:27:42You can't focus enough to-
00:27:43No, nope, nope.
00:27:45That's a, I mean that-
00:27:46I've read it before though.
00:27:48Wait.
00:27:49So-
00:27:50Like 10 years ago.
00:27:51So you have read it?
00:27:52Yes.
00:27:53This is, is this-
00:27:54Why are you rereading the book about-
00:27:55Because it didn't work.
00:27:56Is this Sisyphus?
00:27:57The, the, the-
00:27:58Pushing it up.
00:27:59Yeah, pushing it up.
00:28:00Yeah.
00:28:01Hank trying to start a book about having good habits that would help him read a book in
00:28:03a timely fashion.
00:28:04Can, is there spark notes to this book?
00:28:06I don't know.
00:28:07There's an audio book I've downloaded that too.
00:28:11You still haven't gotten to it?
00:28:12No.
00:28:13I love that.
00:28:14I love that for you.
00:28:15So we've got two Lighthouse books nominated.
00:28:16We've got the Cape Hatteras Lighthouse in North Carolina.
00:28:21The tallest Lighthouse in the United States.
00:28:23Okay.
00:28:24According to the United States Coast Guard, respect the military and the troops.
00:28:27The old Lighthouse at Gillette Stadium is nominated.
00:28:30It was a great Lighthouse.
00:28:32It was awesome.
00:28:33Everyone loved it.
00:28:34They won championships.
00:28:35They won Super Bowls with that Lighthouse.
00:28:37Then the new Gillette Lighthouse is also nominated.
00:28:40The losingest Lighthouse in the history of the New England Patriots by far.
00:28:44Yes.
00:28:45Mickey Mouse cartoon Lighthouse.
00:28:46I mean, Hank, fact or fiction, things have gone badly since the new Lighthouse came out.
00:28:51No, new Lighthouse was last year and they had gone badly two years ago, but they haven't
00:28:56gotten better yet.
00:28:57I'd say they got worse.
00:28:59They fired a whole-
00:29:00We have a new-
00:29:01Bill Belichick is no longer your coach.
00:29:04You lost a legendary quarterback who throws when, where, how, where, he knows where to
00:29:10put it.
00:29:11Things were all coming together with Mac Jones.
00:29:12You had the best rookie quarterback season of all time, and then you just got rid of
00:29:16all that, and now you're shit.
00:29:19Now you have a quarterback that it looks like he throws a heavy ball.
00:29:23So the winner of the 2024 Lighthouse of the Year is the old Lighthouse at Gillette Stadium.
00:29:33That Lighthouse was awesome.
00:29:35Real one.
00:29:36It was a real one.
00:29:38Multiple Super Bowl.
00:29:39Dynasty.
00:29:40The Dynasty Lighthouse.
00:29:41PFT, hold on one sec, Jared.
00:29:43Stay right there.
00:29:44If the new Lighthouse didn't win, could someone say that it's not even a Lighthouse?
00:29:50It's not a Lighthouse.
00:29:51It should not have been nominated.
00:29:52Yeah.
00:29:53Because it's a fake Lighthouse.
00:29:54Well, you also nominated a book, which isn't a Lighthouse.
00:29:55Your new Lighthouse is a giant butt plug, and it sucks, and everyone hates it.
00:29:59Nope.
00:30:00You don't win football games.
00:30:01It's a great Lighthouse.
00:30:02I have a question.
00:30:03Hey, do you ever think you're going to like the Lighthouse?
00:30:04I have a question.
00:30:05Yeah.
00:30:06Okay.
00:30:07If I was the keeper of the Lighthouse for a Thursday preseason game in August, could
00:30:14I do it?
00:30:16What does keeping a Lighthouse entail?
00:30:18Lighting the light.
00:30:19Are you just standing at the top being like, no, this is a real Lighthouse?
00:30:23It's real to me.
00:30:24Yeah.
00:30:25Hank, I give you permission to be the keeper of the Lighthouse-
00:30:26Against maybe the Eagles.
00:30:29If you read a book about a Lighthouse.
00:30:31Yeah.
00:30:32Full book.
00:30:33Okay.
00:30:34And you finish your Habits book.
00:30:35Okay.
00:30:36Okay.
00:30:38All right.
00:30:39All right.
00:30:40All right.
00:30:41All right.
00:30:42All right.
00:30:43All right.
00:30:44All right.
00:30:45All right.
00:30:46All right.
00:30:47So congrats to that Lighthouse.
00:30:48Congrats to the old Lighthouse.
00:30:49What a wonderful Lighthouse you were.
00:30:50We have winner here, Jersey Jerry.
00:30:51He's going to accept his award.
00:30:52He also forgot his wallet.
00:30:53He's been looking forward.
00:30:54Jerry, we're doing the takeys right now, the 2024 takeys.
00:30:55You have won an award-
00:30:56Thank you.
00:30:57Which comes with a cash prize as well.
00:30:58Oh, here we go.
00:30:59Right up my alley.
00:31:00You love cash.
00:31:01Yeah.
00:31:02You love cash.
00:31:03So would you-
00:31:04That's off, but we'll be all right.
00:31:05Would you like to know what award you won?
00:31:06Yeah, of course.
00:31:08You won the Lib of the Year award.
00:31:10For all your work in the liberal community.
00:31:13Pro-union guy.
00:31:14All right.
00:31:15Pro-union guy.
00:31:16You're a big Mamala guy.
00:31:17No, I'm not.
00:31:18You're asking for handouts.
00:31:19Yep.
00:31:20No, I'm not.
00:31:21I'm not.
00:31:22No.
00:31:23No.
00:31:24I didn't.
00:31:25I'm not a Lib.
00:31:26That's number one.
00:31:27You won the award for Lib of the Year.
00:31:28You won Lib of the Year.
00:31:29Who voted on this?
00:31:30Many voters.
00:31:31Yeah.
00:31:32It was a true democracy.
00:31:33Yeah.
00:31:34So there will be a graphic that says Lib of the Year, Jersey Jerry.
00:31:35Jerry, he's trying to rig the vote.
00:31:36Yeah.
00:31:37Very Lib.
00:31:38Interesting.
00:31:39Oh, whoops.
00:31:40I don't want to accept the award.
00:31:41Okay.
00:31:42Well, you can't not accept it.
00:31:43Yeah.
00:31:44It's been given to you.
00:31:45You hate meritocracy.
00:31:46You hate the fact that you won something.
00:31:47Oh, I think Jerry's a participation trophy guy, a true Lib.
00:31:51He wants everyone to win the award.
00:31:52That's true.
00:31:53I don't.
00:31:54I don't think I've ever even asked to be put up for this award.
00:31:57Oh, wow.
00:31:58No, no one asked to be nominated.
00:31:59Also, Jerry, aren't you happy?
00:32:02The voting for the takeys is secretive and some may say a coup, which is exactly what
00:32:07you people do.
00:32:09I don't do any of that.
00:32:10Okay.
00:32:11I don't do any of that stuff.
00:32:12Like zero.
00:32:13I don't even want to talk about what my theories and stuff are, but my theories are anti-Lib.
00:32:20I don't know.
00:32:21It seems like the case has been laid pretty clearly.
00:32:23Yeah.
00:32:24What?
00:32:25You look like a Lib.
00:32:26Oh, look at Jerry.
00:32:29He's so happy he's won this award.
00:32:31He's just trying to give it to everyone else inside.
00:32:32Give it to Hank.
00:32:33Can you give it to Hank?
00:32:34No.
00:32:35No, no.
00:32:36You're wearing a hat from Pittsburgh.
00:32:37Yeah.
00:32:38Yeah.
00:32:39You love the Steelers.
00:32:40Yup.
00:32:41Unions.
00:32:42Where's Joe Biden from?
00:32:43Delaware.
00:32:44I believe he's from Scranton, Pennsylvania.
00:32:45Yeah, he's from Pennsylvania.
00:32:46Oh, is he?
00:32:47Pennsylvania.
00:32:48Yeah.
00:32:49You are on the record saying you're a Joey B guy.
00:32:50Yes, but that was burrow.
00:32:51Yeah.
00:32:52Okay.
00:32:53All right.
00:32:54There we go.
00:32:55Okay.
00:32:56That was burrow.
00:32:57Thank you, Jerry.
00:32:58Lib of the year.
00:32:59Lib of the year.
00:33:01I will be donating your cash prize to the Democratic Party.
00:33:04Oh, yeah.
00:33:05They just got 90 million.
00:33:06They'll be good.
00:33:07Yeah.
00:33:08You asked for that before.
00:33:09So, like you said, your words, not mine.
00:33:10Mamala's going all the way.
00:33:11She is.
00:33:12She is.
00:33:13He just said she is.
00:33:14Yeah.
00:33:15Yeah.
00:33:16He said she is.
00:33:17Yup.
00:33:18Lib of the year.
00:33:19Jersey Jerry.
00:33:20All right.
00:33:21Where were we?
00:33:22Lighthouse.
00:33:23We just said Lighthouse.
00:33:24Lighthouse.
00:33:25We awarded to the oldest Lighthouse.
00:33:26Yeah.
00:33:27Okay.
00:33:28Next up, big one.
00:33:30A lot of viral women.
00:33:32A lot of viral women this year.
00:33:34Herpes, Joe Kang.
00:33:35Yeah.
00:33:36She has herpes.
00:33:37Allegedly.
00:33:38Pam Anderson confirmed.
00:33:39Oh, hepatitis too.
00:33:40Yeah.
00:33:41Yeah.
00:33:42Okay.
00:33:43C or B.
00:33:44Viral woman of the year.
00:33:45I'm not sure.
00:33:46Which one would you prefer?
00:33:47Yeah.
00:33:48You choose.
00:33:49B.
00:33:50I think that's the wrong one.
00:33:51I think she might have C.
00:33:52Yeah.
00:33:53I think she has C.
00:33:54So, now you have B.
00:33:55Viral woman of the year.
00:33:58We have The Chargers fan.
00:34:01Remember her?
00:34:02Yeah.
00:34:03She was really into The Chargers.
00:34:04That was crazy.
00:34:05She's a plant.
00:34:06That was nuts.
00:34:07She's a paid actor.
00:34:08She's an industry plant.
00:34:09Paid actress.
00:34:10Yeah.
00:34:11The craziest.
00:34:12I still don't really know what happened there.
00:34:13We have Hock Chua girl.
00:34:16She's burning bright.
00:34:18That is as viral as viral gets.
00:34:20Yeah.
00:34:22Lena the Plug.
00:34:23Yep.
00:34:24Went viral.
00:34:25Probably very viral.
00:34:26Yep.
00:34:27That was a crazy story.
00:34:28That was a moment.
00:34:29What was the story?
00:34:30Adam22 let a guy fuck his wife.
00:34:32Yeah.
00:34:33On camera.
00:34:34In front of him.
00:34:35For the podcast.
00:34:36And then got mad about his wife getting fucked.
00:34:38Yeah.
00:34:39Because people made fun of him.
00:34:40And it, again, don't want to say that we play the game the right way, but you don't see
00:34:45any of us getting fucked on camera for views.
00:34:47You will never see that.
00:34:49No one wants to fuck us on camera.
00:34:51Maybe, Huey.
00:34:53I'd watch a video.
00:34:55Look at him.
00:34:56Yeah.
00:34:57I would.
00:34:58I don't want him to, but I would.
00:34:59If you put it in front of me.
00:35:01Yeah.
00:35:02And you're like, check this out.
00:35:04Huey's laying pipe.
00:35:05You wouldn't look away?
00:35:06I would have to look.
00:35:07I'd have to look.
00:35:08It'd be morbid curiosity.
00:35:09We would never stoop to the level of a podcast like No Jumper and have one person on our
00:35:14podcast try to get set up with another guest on our podcast.
00:35:17Right.
00:35:18Exactly.
00:35:19That's disgusting.
00:35:20And I don't think it should happen.
00:35:21Yeah.
00:35:23And then finally, the Oilers fan.
00:35:24Yeah.
00:35:25For her viral moments.
00:35:28Almost getting them to a Stanley Cup.
00:35:30She was great.
00:35:31She was great.
00:35:32I really appreciate that moment.
00:35:33She was great.
00:35:34Okay.
00:35:35So we have a special guest, our good friend, Paul Bissonette, giving us the winner of viral
00:35:40woman of the year.
00:35:42Hello.
00:35:43Pardon my tape fans.
00:35:45Paul Bissonette here from the Spitting Chickens podcast for a very special announcement.
00:35:50It is an honor to have been selected to hand out an award for the 2024 Takey Awards, and
00:35:57I will be presenting today the 2024 Takey Award for most viral woman.
00:36:03And some of you are going to be shocked by the winner, but I don't care.
00:36:07And without further ado, drum roll, please.
00:36:12Get that spit off my face.
00:36:14And the winner of the 2024 Takey Award for most viral woman goes to Oilers girl, Kate.
00:36:21Those luscious tits made so many people happy on the Internet.
00:36:25It propelled the Edmonton Oilers to a long playoff run that just fell short, but she
00:36:30still deserves a ring based on those beautiful boobies.
00:36:33Now, some of you, I know what you're saying.
00:36:36Hawk Tua deserved this.
00:36:37Hawk Tua deserved this.
00:36:38But just you remember, Oilers girl walked so Hawk Tua could run.
00:36:44And that's a wrap.
00:36:46Okay, so congratulations.
00:36:47Congratulations to the Oilers fan.
00:36:50Very happy for the A-Cups.
00:36:52She went on Spitting Chicklets.
00:36:54She's R.A.'s girlfriend.
00:36:55She's R.A.'s girlfriend.
00:36:56So incredible viral run for her.
00:36:59I mean.
00:37:00And also, I appreciated it when she came out so strongly against the haters.
00:37:05Yes.
00:37:06It really made me think.
00:37:07Yes.
00:37:08Okay, what do we have next?
00:37:09Next up, we have the Joe of the Year.
00:37:12Joe of the Year.
00:37:13A lot of great Joes this year.
00:37:14Big year for Joes.
00:37:15Huge year for Joes.
00:37:17First nominee is Joe Mazzuola.
00:37:19Ooh.
00:37:20Coach of the Boston Celtics.
00:37:22Best friend.
00:37:23Stepfather to Henry Lockwood.
00:37:24Hank's best friend.
00:37:25He poured beer on you.
00:37:27Joe Biden also nominated for Joe.
00:37:29I'm pouring honey on him.
00:37:30Wait, what?
00:37:31You're pouring honey on Joe Biden?
00:37:33On Joe Mazzuola.
00:37:34You poured honey on him?
00:37:35Goat.
00:37:36Wait, is that the LeBron reference where it's like, pour honey on him and then pray for
00:37:40the bear?
00:37:41LeBron posted on Instagram and said if me and the bear are in the same forest, pray
00:37:46for the bear or whatever.
00:37:47Yeah.
00:37:48And then Shannon Sharpe.
00:37:49Oh, that's right.
00:37:50I'm pouring honey on you, goat.
00:37:51Yeah.
00:37:52Pouring honey on Joe.
00:37:53How fast would Joe Mazzuola kick your ass if you poured honey on him?
00:37:57Very fast.
00:37:59That would be an awesome.
00:38:01He was ready to kick my ass when I was putting on sunscreen.
00:38:03Joe Biden also nominated for Joe.
00:38:08Still alive.
00:38:09For being still alive.
00:38:10Still alive.
00:38:11We think.
00:38:12JoJo Siwa nominated for Joe of the Year.
00:38:14Don't know who that is.
00:38:15If you have two Joes, do you have one?
00:38:17Who is JoJo Siwa?
00:38:18I know.
00:38:19She's a talker, YouTuber.
00:38:22Dancer.
00:38:23Dancer.
00:38:24Love it.
00:38:25Love her work.
00:38:26Love her work and the joke.
00:38:27Reality TV star.
00:38:28Reality TV star.
00:38:29What'd she do this year?
00:38:30She did...
00:38:31I forget what show it was called.
00:38:33It was on ABC.
00:38:34It was like...
00:38:35She's on Disney Channel.
00:38:36Disney Channel.
00:38:37Yeah, that's what I was about to say.
00:38:38Oh, yeah, yeah.
00:38:39Disney Channel.
00:38:40She just had a big year.
00:38:41She sounds like a big JoJo Siwa fan.
00:38:43She was on a show that they advertised during Sunday Night Football every week.
00:38:47Ah.
00:38:48That show.
00:38:49A show that...
00:38:50Is it the one where they...
00:38:51Sorry, we were watching football.
00:38:52Well, it was commercial football.
00:38:54Yeah, I'm still thinking about football.
00:38:55Yeah, I'm thinking about what I just watched.
00:38:57Yeah.
00:38:58Okay.
00:38:59Also nominated for Joe of the Year.
00:39:00Okay.
00:39:01Also nominated for Joe of the Year, Joel Embiid.
00:39:02Oh.
00:39:03He is a Joe.
00:39:04He...
00:39:05Maverick Joe.
00:39:06He had a pretty big year.
00:39:07He went all the way to the conference finals.
00:39:08Conference semi-finals.
00:39:09Conference quarterfinals.
00:39:10Conference quarterfinals.
00:39:11He just had a really good game in the Olympic Exhibitions.
00:39:14Oh, that's great.
00:39:15He had a great game against Germany in the Olympic Exhibition game.
00:39:18On a super team.
00:39:19Yeah.
00:39:20He had a good game.
00:39:21So, huge year.
00:39:22That's probably...
00:39:23That's the most important game he's ever played in.
00:39:24That actually...
00:39:25We did the voting before that game.
00:39:26This might change everything.
00:39:27This kind of sways things.
00:39:28Yeah.
00:39:29But did...
00:39:30JoJo Siwa blew up on Dance Moms.
00:39:33She's a mom?
00:39:34No.
00:39:35She was the dancer.
00:39:36Oh.
00:39:37Oh, she had a mom.
00:39:38Yeah.
00:39:39Yeah.
00:39:40She was a dancer.
00:39:41She was a dancer with a mom.
00:39:42They don't make those anymore.
00:39:43That's a great idea for a show.
00:39:44No.
00:39:45What is that show?
00:39:46Dance Moms?
00:39:47It's like the children...
00:39:48She was like a young child.
00:39:49It's a creepy show.
00:39:50It's a very creepy show.
00:39:51It's a very, very creepy show.
00:39:52Yeah.
00:39:54Okay.
00:39:55I would say Honey Boo Boo Adjacent.
00:39:56Yes.
00:39:57Got it.
00:39:58Special Forces World's Toughest Test on Fox.
00:39:59That was the show.
00:40:00Special Forces World's Toughest Test.
00:40:01On Sunday Night Football, they were advertising for Fox?
00:40:02No.
00:40:03It must have been...
00:40:04It's wild.
00:40:05Yeah.
00:40:06So...
00:40:07Whatever.
00:40:08You know what I mean?
00:40:09It's fine.
00:40:10JoJo Siwa, big fan.
00:40:11Huge.
00:40:12This podcast is.
00:40:13There should be a podcast mom show.
00:40:14Yeah.
00:40:15Yeah.
00:40:16Yeah.
00:40:17Yeah.
00:40:18Yeah.
00:40:19Yeah.
00:40:20Yeah.
00:40:21Yeah.
00:40:22There should be a podcast mom show.
00:40:23Yeah.
00:40:24I was thinking we'd just do a TV dad show.
00:40:27It's just my kids watching TV.
00:40:29A TV show about kids watching TV?
00:40:31It's me turning on the TV.
00:40:33And then Bluey's on.
00:40:34Yeah.
00:40:35And then it's like, all right.
00:40:36So...
00:40:37And that was the episode.
00:40:38When you were talking about Bluey, I had no idea what a drug Bluey was for kids.
00:40:40Oh yeah.
00:40:41But I had...
00:40:42There was a friend that came into town.
00:40:43Their five-year-old stayed with us.
00:40:45And the kid was jumping all over the basement, punching walls, throwing stuff around, just
00:40:50in a bad mood.
00:40:51I go down there.
00:40:52And I turn on Bluey.
00:40:53Yeah.
00:40:54And it's hypnotized.
00:40:55It's also the greatest show ever created because it's seven minutes long.
00:40:59So you can tell a kid, hey, you get to watch three more Blueys.
00:41:04That feels like a million to a kid.
00:41:07And they're like, three more.
00:41:08Yeah.
00:41:09Bluey's a girl.
00:41:10I'll never run out.
00:41:1120 minutes.
00:41:12Done.
00:41:13Bluey is a drug for kids, for sure.
00:41:14Yeah.
00:41:15Yeah.
00:41:16So here to present...
00:41:17Bluey's a girl.
00:41:18Wait, she is?
00:41:19Yeah.
00:41:20That just fucking blew my mind.
00:41:22Also, very funny because they did a really good job with Bluey.
00:41:26Bluey's dad works at the airport.
00:41:28Okay.
00:41:29He's a drug sniffing dog.
00:41:31That's fun.
00:41:32And Bluey's mom...
00:41:33Wait, his dad's a narc?
00:41:34Yeah, I guess so.
00:41:35Maybe bomb sniffing dog.
00:41:37And then his mom is an archeologist.
00:41:39Bone sniffing dog.
00:41:40Yes.
00:41:41I like that.
00:41:42Pretty cool.
00:41:43That's very good.
00:41:44It's pretty cool.
00:41:45They did a good job.
00:41:46One of them should work in the White House.
00:41:47Next up, we have the presenter for the Joe of the Year Award.
00:41:50Our good friend.
00:41:51Joe Buck.
00:41:52Hey, I'm at Dick's Sporting Goods.
00:41:55So it is my distinct honor to present the 2024 Takey Award to the Dick of the Year...
00:42:03No!
00:42:04He's right.
00:42:06I'm Joe.
00:42:08And it's my honor to present the 2024 Takey Award to the Joe of the Year, to Joe Mazzulla,
00:42:15the Boston Celtics head coach.
00:42:18Congratulations, Joe.
00:42:21Bye.
00:42:22Bye.
00:42:23Incredible video.
00:42:24Wait, can we pause real quick?
00:42:30Let's take a second to admire Joe Buck's outfit.
00:42:32Yeah, I thought it was jean shorts at first.
00:42:35I don't know if it is.
00:42:36I'm going to choose to believe these are jean shorts because this is the best dad outfit
00:42:40I've ever seen in my entire life.
00:42:41Well, this is like his St. Louis is really showing.
00:42:43Yeah.
00:42:44He's wearing jean shorts tucked in with a belt.
00:42:46Tucked in t-shirt to jean shorts.
00:42:49Dad hat.
00:42:50He looks great.
00:42:51And his son hit the moonwalk.
00:42:53We love Joe.
00:42:54Joe is one of our favorite recurring guests.
00:42:56Can't tell the history of Pardon My Take without Joe Buck.
00:42:58He can't.
00:42:59And he actually didn't take any...
00:43:01When I texted him asking for this, he didn't take any offense that he wasn't nominated
00:43:04for Joe of the Year.
00:43:05That's okay.
00:43:06He knows he had an off year.
00:43:07Yeah, he's got something to aspire for.
00:43:08Yeah.
00:43:09Aspire to.
00:43:10Yeah, he did have an off year.
00:43:11He called zero games where someone almost died.
00:43:14Yep.
00:43:15Sad.
00:43:16So, kind of set the bar and he wasn't able to live up to it.
00:43:18Very sad.
00:43:19What do you think to your best friend?
00:43:20Did you tell him?
00:43:21I did tell him.
00:43:22Yeah?
00:43:23What'd he say?
00:43:24He hasn't responded yet.
00:43:25Oh.
00:43:26Best friends.
00:43:27That's just best friend language.
00:43:28Yeah.
00:43:29Yeah.
00:43:30You guys don't have to talk for the best friends.
00:43:31He's probably upset that he won the award and he's going to get complacent.
00:43:34That's true.
00:43:35Did we poison the Celtics by giving him Joe of the Year?
00:43:38It'd be a real shame.
00:43:39That would be a real shame.
00:43:40Okay, next up.
00:43:43Girlfriend of the Year.
00:43:45Girlfriend of the Year.
00:43:47Big time award.
00:43:49We have some big time nominees.
00:43:51First up, it is Taylor Swift, who was very prominently during the football season.
00:43:58Matt Smith?
00:43:59What?
00:44:00For dating Matt Smith?
00:44:02Oh, no.
00:44:04But she did do that and he was problematic.
00:44:06Wait, Matty Healy?
00:44:07Or Matt Healy?
00:44:08Matty Healy, yeah.
00:44:09Come on, Hank.
00:44:10Get up on your lure.
00:44:11Yeah, come on.
00:44:12She started dating Travis Kelsey this year.
00:44:14Some may say Travis Kelsey is Taylor Swift's boyfriend.
00:44:18Depends on the season, I would say.
00:44:19Right now-
00:44:20He's boyfriend.
00:44:21He's boyfriend.
00:44:22Football season, she's girlfriend.
00:44:23I mean, Travis has a good case for boyfriend of the year, too.
00:44:26Yeah, that's true.
00:44:27That's true.
00:44:28Kyle Filpowski's girlfriend.
00:44:32They've been together for a long time.
00:44:34No one put in more work than her.
00:44:36And everything played out perfectly.
00:44:38Yeah.
00:44:39She is the mastermind, to use a Taylor Swift lyric.
00:44:42She plotted this out and now he's in Utah.
00:44:45Minus the whole part of him slipping out of the first round because of people questioning
00:44:50their relationship.
00:44:51Yeah.
00:44:52Still don't really know how Duke was able to keep that under wraps for two years.
00:44:55It's very strange.
00:44:56Very, very strange.
00:44:57She also nursed him back to health, though.
00:44:59So let's give her some credit after he had that devastating leg injury after the court
00:45:03storming.
00:45:04That's true.
00:45:05He came back in record time and some people thought he was dead.
00:45:07And then, finally, Jake Browning's girlfriend, who took the league by storm in week 17?
00:45:14In Joe Burrow's box.
00:45:15Yeah.
00:45:16It was...
00:45:17I remember where I was when I watched that.
00:45:19Yeah.
00:45:20Very nice lady.
00:45:21Okay.
00:45:22So we have a guest presenter for girlfriend of the year.
00:45:25Is she anyone's girlfriend?
00:45:28Not to my knowledge.
00:45:29Okay.
00:45:30Has she ever been someone's girlfriend?
00:45:32I'm sure she has been.
00:45:33Okay.
00:45:34Yeah.
00:45:35Definitely.
00:45:36At some point?
00:45:37Would she also say that she was a girlfriend?
00:45:39In her life?
00:45:40Yeah.
00:45:41Definitely.
00:45:42Would she say recently she's been a girlfriend?
00:45:43I don't know the answer to that.
00:45:44But she's currently no one's girlfriend?
00:45:47I don't know the answer to that either.
00:45:48When was the last time she was someone's girlfriend?
00:45:49I don't know the answer to that either.
00:45:51Okay.
00:45:52Have you ever been someone's boyfriend, Hank?
00:45:53Have I?
00:45:54Yeah.
00:45:55And Tiffany, the mystery presenter, has, at one point, been someone's girlfriend.
00:46:00That's kind of a coincidence, isn't it?
00:46:01That is a coincidence.
00:46:02It seems like that's almost...
00:46:03Wild.
00:46:04Like it's a key in a hole.
00:46:05Yeah.
00:46:06Okay.
00:46:07Like a knee in a wall.
00:46:08Let's go to our guest presenter for girlfriend of the year.
00:46:11Hey, guys.
00:46:12Tiffany Gomez here to present to you your 2024 Girlfriend of the Year Takey Award.
00:46:19Nominees are Miss Taylor Swift.
00:46:23No explanation needed.
00:46:25Jake Browning's girlfriend, Stephanie Niles, that went viral for her white bodysuit.
00:46:31And lastly, Kyle Filippowski's girlfriend, which I think we all know.
00:46:37And I think we all know is not going to win.
00:46:40Really?
00:46:41I think I'd be in the running if someone didn't fumble, but not mentioning any names.
00:46:47But nonetheless, our winner is Miss Taylor Swift.
00:46:51Okay.
00:46:52Incredible.
00:46:53Great work.
00:46:54Great work, Tiffany.
00:46:55Tiff.
00:46:56We love Tiff.
00:46:57Gomez.
00:46:58Gomez.
00:46:59You should rekindle that.
00:47:00It kind of happened.
00:47:01Yeah.
00:47:02Just through this text messaging.
00:47:03Oh, really?
00:47:04Yeah.
00:47:05How?
00:47:06He's checked in.
00:47:07Yeah.
00:47:08I don't want to get into specifics, but.
00:47:10You checked in?
00:47:11Well, he had to.
00:47:13She can't check in.
00:47:14He had to hit her up.
00:47:15She's not allowed to.
00:47:16FAA.
00:47:17That's true.
00:47:18She wanted to go to Paris for the Olympics.
00:47:20With you?
00:47:21Too soon.
00:47:22Oh, man.
00:47:23It's like this week.
00:47:24She invited you to France?
00:47:25The most romantic country in the world?
00:47:26Would have been a great place to get down on one knee.
00:47:28She also DMed him on TikTok.
00:47:30Oh, yeah.
00:47:31Hey, Max.
00:47:32Max does know all the DMs on TikTok.
00:47:34Yeah.
00:47:35Yeah, somehow Max is logged into my TikTok, which I don't really use.
00:47:39I just get emails whenever Hank gets a DM on TikTok.
00:47:42Oh, I love it.
00:47:43And I was with Big Cat, and I was like, look, Hank just got a DM.
00:47:47What did the DM say?
00:47:48I can't see what the DM says.
00:47:50I just get an email that says, you have received a direct message from TikTok by Tiffany Gomez.
00:47:56Gomez.
00:47:57I think the DM said, I want to go to Paris in a lope.
00:48:01Yeah.
00:48:02No.
00:48:03Nope.
00:48:04Marry me.
00:48:05Yeah.
00:48:06Yes or no?
00:48:07False.
00:48:09You'd have to say yes.
00:48:10Yeah.
00:48:11Okay.
00:48:12Nice.
00:48:13I don't have that in me to say no.
00:48:14Yeah, right.
00:48:15You'd figure it out later.
00:48:16Say yes in the moment.
00:48:17Yeah.
00:48:18Yeah.
00:48:19That would be a hell of a wedding.
00:48:20Yeah.
00:48:21Could be destination.
00:48:22That would be great.
00:48:23It would be fun.
00:48:24Okay.
00:48:25Also, I think Jerry O'Connell would possibly be a bridesmaid.
00:48:27No, he'd have to marry it.
00:48:30No, because he'd get to the part where it's like, speak now or forever, hold your peace.
00:48:34And he'd be like, I object.
00:48:35Yeah.
00:48:36I personally object.
00:48:37Me.
00:48:38Okay.
00:48:39Next up.
00:48:40Yeah.
00:48:41The kiss the bride part, he would love.
00:48:42Oh, yeah.
00:48:43If he'd get involved, it would be a triple kiss.
00:48:44Yeah.
00:48:45He'd need a little sheet to stand behind for the kiss the bride.
00:48:46Sounds like a movie.
00:48:48Next up.
00:48:49Next up, we have Dom of the Year.
00:48:52Ooh.
00:48:53Dom of the Year.
00:48:54Great award.
00:48:55This is the first year that we've ever presented this, but we've got some good nominees here.
00:49:00First up is Big Dom.
00:49:01Oh, yeah.
00:49:02From the Fluffy Eagles.
00:49:03Fluffy Eagles.
00:49:04Remember when he got kicked out of that game that rocked?
00:49:06Show your football.
00:49:08Oh, yeah.
00:49:09My football is somewhere.
00:49:10Where's my football?
00:49:11Oh, I got it.
00:49:12Where's my football?
00:49:13Dom said, he said, my paisans, game ball presented to Big Cat from Big Dom.
00:49:16Incredible.
00:49:17He's the best.
00:49:18He is the best.
00:49:20We were going to actually get him to try to be a guest presenter, and then we decided,
00:49:23you know what?
00:49:24Let's not burn that relationship with something as frivolous as the Takeys.
00:49:28Not that the Takeys are frivolous.
00:49:30To Big Dom, they wouldn't.
00:49:31But we would want...
00:49:32He's a football guy.
00:49:33First time Big Dom comes on the show, needs to be in person, and we have to have at least
00:49:3845 minutes with him.
00:49:39And also a lot of chicken parm.
00:49:41Yep.
00:49:42Shit loads.
00:49:43Big Dom nominated.
00:49:44Okay.
00:49:45Also nominated.
00:49:46It's a big time to beat.
00:49:47Dom of the Year.
00:49:48Yes.
00:49:49The Dom of the Year from last year from the viral Dave Portnoy pizza review.
00:49:53Yes.
00:49:54Yes.
00:49:55Which was, he just kept on yelling, Dom of the Year, Dom of the Year.
00:49:57That guy, self-anointed Dom of the Year.
00:50:00Self-anointed.
00:50:01Next up, we have Max's nephew.
00:50:03Yes.
00:50:04Named Dom.
00:50:05Dominic Delente.
00:50:06Shout out, baby Dom.
00:50:07Shout out, baby Dom.
00:50:08Baby Dom.
00:50:09I love that.
00:50:10I think we should...
00:50:11I think right now, I don't know who wins Dom of the Year, but similar to when Nick Saban
00:50:17gives a scholarship offer to a five-year-old, I think we should give an internship offer
00:50:23to Dominic Delente.
00:50:24I'm okay with that.
00:50:25I love that.
00:50:26In 18 years time, he has an open internship offer to Dominic Delente.
00:50:32Sign him up right now.
00:50:33Lock him up.
00:50:34Yep.
00:50:35Big moment for baby Dom right now.
00:50:36That's a huge moment.
00:50:37Huge moment for baby Dom.
00:50:38Now, the problem is, it's going to be Huey and Memes hosting this show.
00:50:40It's going to be no one listening, but he will be an intern.
00:50:44Yeah, we're ending Italian unemployment one baby at a time.
00:50:47Yes.
00:50:48He's got a job.
00:50:49Also nominated for Dom of the Year, Taylor Swift.
00:50:52Yeah.
00:50:53Interesting.
00:50:54She kind of wears the pants in that relationship.
00:50:56She's just won Girlfriend of the Year, so could she go back to back?
00:50:59We'll see.
00:51:00We've never had a back to back.
00:51:02You haven't?
00:51:03We've never had a back to back.
00:51:05You had a back to back?
00:51:06We'll see.
00:51:07I've never had a back to back.
00:51:08Yeah.
00:51:09What is that?
00:51:10If that was a number, would that be a 96?
00:51:11You'd be 90-sixing?
00:51:1211?
00:51:13No, that's spooning.
00:51:14No, back to back.
00:51:17Back to back?
00:51:18Spooning would be more like-
00:51:197-7?
00:51:20Yeah, something like that.
00:51:21Back to back is spinning up.
00:51:221-7?
00:51:23Back to back.
00:51:24I think back to back is 9-6.
00:51:25Is that the truth?
00:51:26I think it's 96.
00:51:27Is back to back one of the scariest phrases you can say to a short man?
00:51:30Yes.
00:51:31100%.
00:51:32Also, because I watched Wreck Me, Poor Dream one time, and back to back has a different
00:51:36meaning there.
00:51:37Yeah.
00:51:38Okay, so the Dom of the Year award goes to Big Dom.
00:51:43Yes!
00:51:44Congratulations, Big Dom.
00:51:45Big Dom!
00:51:46Huge work in the field of Dom-ness.
00:51:49You crushed it, man.
00:51:52You crushed it.
00:51:53The Eagles couldn't win without you.
00:51:54Yeah.
00:51:55You took the world by storm.
00:51:57The season fell apart the minute Big Dom got off that sideline.
00:52:00He got a massive promotion.
00:52:01Yep.
00:52:02He's now director of what?
00:52:03All of football?
00:52:04I think he just is the Philadelphia Eagles.
00:52:06Yeah.
00:52:07He's the build the whole team out of Big Dom.
00:52:09Yep.
00:52:10Yeah.
00:52:11Could win a lot of games.
00:52:12What is he, Max?
00:52:13What's his actual ... Max just searched Big Dom promotion.
00:52:16You'd think he'd have this.
00:52:18In charge of game day coaching?
00:52:20He's coaching?
00:52:23Eagles add game day coaching operation title to Dom DeSandro's growing responsibilities.
00:52:27I think they did this so he can't get kicked out anymore.
00:52:31They should also make him director of sanitation.
00:52:33Yes.
00:52:34Yes.
00:52:35Okay.
00:52:36Big Dom upgrade.
00:52:37Eagles security chief Dom DeSandro receives promotion to make it harder for NFL to discipline
00:52:42him after ... I love that, after 2023 ban.
00:52:45They basically are protecting Dom.
00:52:47That's really solid.
00:52:48Yeah.
00:52:49Yeah.
00:52:51I think players should be promoted to some sort of coaching title to make it harder for
00:52:54discipline.
00:52:55I feel like Goodell's going to do whatever the equivalent of a Rico act will be for the
00:52:59Eagles.
00:53:00Yeah.
00:53:01Don't say nothing.
00:53:02He's trying to take down the whole operation.
00:53:03Okay.
00:53:04Next up, Italian of the year.
00:53:07Ooh.
00:53:08Big year for Italians.
00:53:10Big, big year.
00:53:12We had one of the Italians that took the world by storm.
00:53:15Tommy DeVito.
00:53:16Yes.
00:53:17Is nominated.
00:53:18Tommy.
00:53:19Tommy DeVito.
00:53:20Tommy DeVito.
00:53:21Two really good games.
00:53:22It was so much fun.
00:53:23That Monday night game, the world was going crazy.
00:53:24Everyone was doing the fingers.
00:53:25Yep.
00:53:26And his family.
00:53:27It was the perfect time and place.
00:53:29We knew that it probably wasn't going to last forever, but when it was happening, we were
00:53:34just embracing it.
00:53:36We also have Big Dom.
00:53:38Big Dom.
00:53:39Has been nominated.
00:53:40Huge, huge work.
00:53:41Can we do the back to back?
00:53:42First time ever.
00:53:45Also nominated, Caitlin Clark.
00:53:47People don't realize she's Italian.
00:53:48Half Italian.
00:53:49She's half Italian.
00:53:50I play for Adelaide.
00:53:51Italian.
00:53:52A great Italian-American who is growing the game of women's basketball.
00:53:58And finally, we have Sean Stilato, Tommy DeVito's agent, who is a recurring guest, and he couldn't
00:54:03be more Italian if he tried.
00:54:05Already a Hall of Famer.
00:54:06Yeah.
00:54:07Italian Hall of Fame.
00:54:08You see, he met the Pope.
00:54:09He did meet the Pope.
00:54:10That was the most Italian thing ever.
00:54:11Yeah.
00:54:12That was probably a big, big day.
00:54:13But yeah, he came in when he was being inducted into the Italian Sports Hall of Fame that
00:54:17is located in Chicago.
00:54:19So congrats to Sean.
00:54:20We have a special guest who is presenting this award.
00:54:24We do.
00:54:25Is she Italian?
00:54:26She is.
00:54:27Oh.
00:54:28It's Diana Rossini.
00:54:30Also a great reporter.
00:54:31Great reporter.
00:54:32Great reporter.
00:54:33Thorough.
00:54:34Very thorough.
00:54:35Very accurate.
00:54:36Memes was just booed in the-
00:54:37Oh, memes.
00:54:38She's our guest presenter, memes.
00:54:39Like, loudly.
00:54:40Loudly booed.
00:54:41Guess what?
00:54:42She just got another source.
00:54:43Wow.
00:54:44Memes, you booed our presenter?
00:54:45Damn.
00:54:46Okay.
00:54:47Let's play the video.
00:54:48Oh, hi.
00:54:49I'm Italian reporter, Diana Marie Rossini, here to present the Italian of the Year.
00:54:55Whether you're 100% Italian like me, or you just like to be like Giada and sprinkling
00:55:00your Italian words like, Garamama, mozzarella, gabagool.
00:55:04Or if you're like PFT and you're 1% Sicilian, or perhaps your offspring like Big Cat has
00:55:10a little meatball in them.
00:55:12It doesn't matter.
00:55:13Everybody knows all Italians love three things.
00:55:15We love to eat, we love to love, and we love to fight.
00:55:19Which is why this year, the Italian of the Year goes to Big Dom with the Philadelphia
00:55:26Eagles.
00:55:27We still have no idea what your job is.
00:55:32I like that she added the Marie.
00:55:33Yeah, the Marie.
00:55:34Really, Diana Marie Rossini.
00:55:35How many vowels can you end in names?
00:55:37It's important to add that in there.
00:55:39I also like how she was stirring up pasta, but it was pasta salad.
00:55:44Yeah.
00:55:45That's good.
00:55:46Yeah, it did.
00:55:47Yeah.
00:55:48Congratulations.
00:55:49Dom has won the first ever back-to-back takies.
00:55:50That's very impressive for Dom.
00:55:52He came on to the scene.
00:55:53I actually think this is a bad job.
00:55:56Big Dom coming on the scene at the NFL this year showed what a bad job we did as NFL fans.
00:56:01Correct.
00:56:02And NFL podcasters.
00:56:03The fact that we did not already know about Big Dom was a massive blind spot in this show.
00:56:08Yes.
00:56:09So we do apologize for that.
00:56:10I also blame Max for not playing Big Dom.
00:56:12You should have told us.
00:56:13You should have told us.
00:56:15Big Dom's life made you think that we would not want to be interested in him.
00:56:18The second we laid eyes onto him, we're like, we love this guy to death.
00:56:22I don't know.
00:56:23It never came up.
00:56:24Yeah.
00:56:25What else are you hiding from us, Max?
00:56:26Seriously.
00:56:27Don't worry about it.
00:56:28Okay.
00:56:29There's definitely another Italian.
00:56:30Yeah.
00:56:31There's some Phillies or something.
00:56:32You got a guy.
00:56:33We got to fucking know this guy.
00:56:34Okay.
00:56:35Next award.
00:56:36Actually, let's do a quick ad.
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00:57:21We couldn't do PMT without Coors Light, so go crack open a nice cold Coors Light.
00:57:26You know what?
00:57:27If you're listening to the Takeys, go get a Coors Light right now.
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00:57:36Okay, next up.
00:57:37Next up, we have a very important award.
00:57:40It's the Why Didn't They Put a Guy on That Shooter award, and we've got some great nominees.
00:57:47First up, Dante DiVincenzo.
00:57:50He was electric at the end of that game against the 76ers.
00:57:55Also very Italian.
00:57:56Yes, extremely.
00:57:57I mean, you got the triple threat.
00:57:58You got the Italian guy.
00:58:00You got the Villanova guy, and you got the New York Knicks guy.
00:58:05Taking Max out.
00:58:06Yes.
00:58:07It was a bad day for Max.
00:58:08We also have Peyton Pritchard nominated for his outstanding performance in the last second
00:58:12of quarters.
00:58:13Just put a guy on him.
00:58:14Why didn't you put a guy on that shooter?
00:58:17Next up, we have Trump's Assassin.
00:58:20Should have put a guy on him.
00:58:21Yep.
00:58:22Definitely should have put a guy on him.
00:58:23Should have put a guy on him.
00:58:24I think they saw him on the roof.
00:58:25A guy should have been there.
00:58:26Sloped roof.
00:58:27Where were the guys?
00:58:28Should have put a guy on him.
00:58:29Is he an assassin or-
00:58:30Attempted assassin.
00:58:31A would-be assassin.
00:58:32A would-be assassin.
00:58:33I feel like you can't give him that title.
00:58:34He's a shooter.
00:58:35He's a shooter.
00:58:36Yeah.
00:58:37He doesn't get assassin.
00:58:38Yeah.
00:58:39Just ass.
00:58:40Yeah.
00:58:41Also nominated is Zach Golke.
00:58:42Jack Golke.
00:58:43Jack.
00:58:44Sorry.
00:58:45Jack Golke.
00:58:46That's okay.
00:58:47Jack Golke nominated.
00:58:48You got it.
00:58:49I got it.
00:58:50Put a guy on that guy, Cal.
00:58:51Big time put a guy on that guy.
00:58:52Cal should have put a guy on Jack.
00:58:53He didn't know that Jack Golke is wetter than wet.
00:58:56The winner of the why didn't they put a man on that shooter award is Jack Golke.
00:59:01Yes.
00:59:02Jack Golke.
00:59:03We're friends.
00:59:05Great work.
00:59:06They should have put a guy on you though.
00:59:08Golke was, I mean, he was made in a lab for, for March Madness.
00:59:13Get a hand in his face.
00:59:15Just the perfect, I really do think that the NCAA, like for all the hand wringing of like
00:59:20the game is changing so much.
00:59:23Make a Jack Golke rule that basically we just get to vote on like five guys every March
00:59:28Madness that no matter their eligibility, they get to stay another year.
00:59:32It'd be nice.
00:59:33Jack Golke this year would be such a fun story to watch.
00:59:36Just turn on a random Oakland game and be like, Oh, Jack Golke is going off again.
00:59:39Cause the thing is Jack Golke could beat anybody on the right night.
00:59:43Yes, he can.
00:59:44He showed that.
00:59:45Yep.
00:59:46He showed that.
00:59:47Okay.
00:59:48Next award up.
00:59:49This is a doozy boys because we might have a back to back winner.
00:59:55Another one.
00:59:56No, not back to back, but back to back years.
01:00:01It is, it is the still alive person of the year.
01:00:07Tommy Lasorda Memorial.
01:00:08Uh, Tommy Lasorda, John Madden Memorial.
01:00:12I think Queen Elizabeth to fuck her.
01:00:15Yeah.
01:00:16They'll Russell is he's in a box in a box, in a box, in a box, in a box, in a box.
01:00:23Um, we have given this award, uh, every single year, I think most years, uh, the take ease
01:00:30and a lot of times the person dies that year.
01:00:34Yeah.
01:00:35Who was the first one?
01:00:36Uh, I don't remember.
01:00:38Who did we actually go see death about?
01:00:40I, we did sort of Lasorda Lasorda.
01:00:42Yes, it might've been Lasorda.
01:00:44So it might be the Tommy Lasorda award.
01:00:45Either way.
01:00:46The still alive person of the year.
01:00:47This is a person you can't believe is still alive.
01:00:50The nominees are Joe Biden possibly still alive.
01:00:56Still alive.
01:00:57By the time this airs, he's like, uh, we are taping this a week before we air it.
01:01:02He's like step alive.
01:01:03Okay.
01:01:04Or like, uh, he's like a divorced dad.
01:01:06He's alive every other weekend and we don't want to jinx this by the way.
01:01:09We don't want any of these people to die.
01:01:10We don't want this to become a jinx thing.
01:01:13Joe Biden's still alive.
01:01:15Donald Trump's still alive.
01:01:17Yup.
01:01:18By inches, by inches.
01:01:20Nancy Pelosi still alive, physically, physically, still alive.
01:01:27Cannons.
01:01:28What?
01:01:29I don't get it.
01:01:32I mean, Hank, you, you cannons.
01:01:38Yeah.
01:01:39I wasn't familiar with their game.
01:01:40Oh yeah.
01:01:41Oh yeah.
01:01:42Cannons.
01:01:43Cannons.
01:01:44Cannons.
01:01:45Cannons.
01:01:46Uh, Mitch McConnell.
01:01:47Still alive as long as they keep plugging him back in.
01:01:48Turkey.
01:01:49Turkey.
01:01:50Turkey.
01:01:51Gobbler.
01:01:52Gobbler.
01:01:53Turtle.
01:01:54Turtle.
01:01:55Yeah.
01:01:56And Jimmy Carter who won it last year.
01:01:57It was an amazing run and still alive for Jimmy Carter because I believe he's been in
01:01:59hospice for like two years.
01:02:01He, we, we talked about it when it happened, but his grandson said that there are some
01:02:05days he just doesn't wake up, which is a telltale sign of being dead.
01:02:10That's true.
01:02:11Not waking up is dead.
01:02:12Or you'd be hibernating.
01:02:13Yeah.
01:02:14So some days he just doesn't wake up.
01:02:15But without further ado, the still alive person of the year for 2024 is Jimmy Carter again.
01:02:24Back to back championship for Jimmy Carter.
01:02:27He's outlasted the still alive person of the year.
01:02:30He won it last year.
01:02:31He stayed alive for the entire year.
01:02:34Again, we are taping this seven days before we air it.
01:02:38Who knows?
01:02:39But he's still alive.
01:02:41Memes just sent the, uh, the picture of Nancy Pelosi and the group chat cannons, right?
01:02:44Respect.
01:02:45Yeah.
01:02:46Respect.
01:02:47Respect.
01:02:48It's respectful cannons.
01:02:49It's respectful cannons.
01:02:50Yeah.
01:02:51Hey, come on.
01:02:52Yeah, no.
01:02:54I like you.
01:02:55Guy like you with those glasses on looking right, looking right.
01:02:59She looking right.
01:03:00Uh, okay.
01:03:02So Jimmy Carter wins still alive person of the year.
01:03:06Unbelievable.
01:03:07I think he can do a three peat.
01:03:08I, if anybody can do it, it's Jimmy.
01:03:10It would be unprecedented.
01:03:11I don't think anyone would be able to top it.
01:03:12I don't even know if anyone will be able to top a two P. Has anybody ever, ever been not
01:03:16dead for three years?
01:03:18Ooh, I don't think so.
01:03:20I don't think so.
01:03:21And again, he is half dead.
01:03:23Listen, Jimmy's set up right now.
01:03:25He really is.
01:03:26Okay.
01:03:27Next up.
01:03:28Next up we have scout of the year.
01:03:29Ooh, the scout of the year award.
01:03:31Okay.
01:03:32The nominees are Tony Scheffler's cat.
01:03:34Yes.
01:03:35Scouty.
01:03:36Scouty.
01:03:37Great barn cat.
01:03:38Yeah.
01:03:39Productive.
01:03:40Kills all those birds.
01:03:41Uh, all the anonymous scout quotes that come out before the draft every year.
01:03:43Um, they're always fun to read.
01:03:45Yeah.
01:03:46There was, they were heavy on my guy, Caleb Williams this year.
01:03:48Yeah.
01:03:49Does he love football?
01:03:50Who's to say?
01:03:51We don't know.
01:03:52Yeah.
01:03:53And then Connor Stallions.
01:03:54Connor Stallion.
01:03:55Scout of the year.
01:03:56One of the craziest stories.
01:03:57Like we don't give it enough credit how crazy that story, I know there's a Netflix documentary
01:04:01coming out.
01:04:02I can't wait for that.
01:04:03I cannot wait for that.
01:04:04And I actually think the person we are presenting is part of it.
01:04:07Oh, he's going to be in it?
01:04:08He's going to be in it.
01:04:09Okay.
01:04:10I, can I just watch a single documentary about sports on TV without Dave Portnoy showing
01:04:14up?
01:04:15He is, he is, he is in it and he is presenting this award.
01:04:17I now, I texted him to ask him for this.
01:04:20We, we have not, I've not watched it.
01:04:22So we're watching it all together and I'm guessing he might be ad-libbing a little bit
01:04:25about Michigan.
01:04:26Let's see.
01:04:27Okay.
01:04:28Here he is.
01:04:29Our presenter for scout of the year.
01:04:30Hey, this is our captain Dave proudly here to present the 2024 takey for scout of the
01:04:37year, a scout and an important, honest, upstanding member of any organization whose job in the
01:04:45military, in the Navy, on the football field, scout the opponent, give any clues, anything
01:04:51you can give to help your team succeed.
01:04:53Nobody exemplified the American spirit, the Marine spirit, the football spirit, the Michigan
01:04:59man spirit more than Connor stallions.
01:05:02Proud to award him the 2024 scout of the year national champs.
01:05:08Go blue.
01:05:09Yeah.
01:05:10All right.
01:05:11Congrats.
01:05:12Dave looks like a old sailor now.
01:05:13Yeah.
01:05:14I don't know what's going on with this.
01:05:15He's got the beard.
01:05:16His beard.
01:05:17The sunburn.
01:05:18The hat.
01:05:19What's that?
01:05:20What?
01:05:21He looks a little bit like the Gordon Fisherman.
01:05:22Is that it?
01:05:23He looks a little bit like the Gordon Fisherman.
01:05:24Yeah.
01:05:25He does.
01:05:26All due respect.
01:05:27But Connor stallion.
01:05:28Connor stallion.
01:05:29Great human being.
01:05:30Incredible, incredible story.
01:05:33He is scout of the year.
01:05:35Incredible story.
01:05:36Like, like you said that like it was an inspiring.
01:05:39It is.
01:05:40It's a very inspiring story.
01:05:41Hank, when he was growing up, all he wanted to do was help Michigan football win a national
01:05:44championship.
01:05:46And he set a plan into place where he joined the United States Marines, learned recon tactics,
01:05:53and then took that, wrote a fucking manifesto, joined his way onto the Michigan football
01:05:58program first as like an unpaid assistant, just like a volunteer, worked his way up until
01:06:03the point where he was providing actual information about their opponents based on him sneaking
01:06:08into games and shit with tactics he learned in the Marines.
01:06:12Yeah.
01:06:13Yeah.
01:06:14Yeah.
01:06:15Yeah.
01:06:16It's a great story.
01:06:17It's as simple as this, Hank.
01:06:18He wrote a manifesto and didn't kill anyone.
01:06:19That's hard to do.
01:06:21People write manifestos.
01:06:23They kill people.
01:06:24That's a manifesto is a bad thing.
01:06:26Connor stallions wrote a manifesto and all his dreams came true.
01:06:29Yeah.
01:06:30We should be thanking our lucky stars that he is obsessed with college football and not
01:06:34some weird corner of the internet that we don't even know about yet.
01:06:37Didn't we get a story?
01:06:38Oh yes.
01:06:39Now this is flashing back at beer games.
01:06:42A couple of guys who were on the Michigan team said after they won the national title,
01:06:47which was, where was it played?
01:06:49Was it LA?
01:06:50Houston?
01:06:51No, Houston.
01:06:52They went out after, uh, they were out at a bar, maybe a strip club.
01:06:55I'm going to say bar and in the corner of that bar, maybe strip club.
01:07:01Connor stallions was just sitting there and he kind of did like a good job and gave him
01:07:06like a tat, a hat tip and was like, you job well done.
01:07:09I love that.
01:07:10And they're like, how the fuck was he here?
01:07:13So he's everywhere.
01:07:14Yeah.
01:07:15Yeah.
01:07:16Huey is a Michigan man.
01:07:17What is your, what are your thoughts on a Connor stallion?
01:07:19He's a great man.
01:07:20I mean, just a hero to the community.
01:07:22Uh, I mean, I let him watch my kids if I had one.
01:07:25Okay.
01:07:26Okay.
01:07:27That's, that's huge.
01:07:29Would you watch your kids if you had one?
01:07:30I'd probably give it to him.
01:07:32Okay.
01:07:33Yeah.
01:07:34All right.
01:07:35So there it is.
01:07:36So not only did he just win a takey, he won Huey's future child.
01:07:37Yeah.
01:07:38Any good Michigan man should just volunteer their firstborn to Connor stallions.
01:07:40Yes.
01:07:41It really is.
01:07:42Maybe my favorite college football story ever.
01:07:44It was incredible.
01:07:45It was incredible.
01:07:46Um, okay.
01:07:47Great award.
01:07:48Uh, next up we have gambler of the year.
01:07:50Wow.
01:07:51Big one.
01:07:52A lot of big ones this year.
01:07:53So the nominees are John Tay Porter for getting suspended from the NBA lifetime suspension
01:08:03for betting his own props and taking himself out of games.
01:08:06Yeah.
01:08:07Uh, he hit all his, all his bets, right?
01:08:09Yeah, I think so.
01:08:10He was a pretty good gambler.
01:08:11Yeah.
01:08:12He was a good gambler.
01:08:13He was a, yeah, he, he had a system.
01:08:14He almost went tout.
01:08:15Uh, pro athletes just shouldn't be on discord like that.
01:08:18Leave it, leave, leave the discord for the nerds.
01:08:20Yeah.
01:08:21Also, what was he doing on discord?
01:08:22That he was in a gambling group and that's like, I think that's how it happened.
01:08:27They kind of like they had the receipts and they were probably the ones telling them like,
01:08:31yo, yo, come out of the game.
01:08:32We got a way to make some money.
01:08:34Also just don't get more than four rebounds.
01:08:37Right.
01:08:38It's hard for him to like, I feel like if you're a starter in the NBA and you did this,
01:08:43it'd be very hard to prove when you're John Taylor Porter.
01:08:46It's very easy to prove because he played such little minutes and no one bets his prop
01:08:50and no, that was really where it was.
01:08:52Right, right.
01:08:53And then it's a hundred thousand dollars on his prop and a random February game and he's
01:08:57coming out with a fake, uh, shoulder injury.
01:08:59Yeah.
01:09:00Every other player that is getting the minutes that he was getting would not take themselves
01:09:03out of the game for anything.
01:09:04Correct.
01:09:05It's like, I need, I need every minute.
01:09:06Correct.
01:09:07I need every minute.
01:09:08I'm promised.
01:09:09And he was just like, no, my eye hurts.
01:09:10Yeah.
01:09:11Ow, my eye.
01:09:12Uh, great excuse by the way.
01:09:13Yeah.
01:09:14Great excuse.
01:09:15Shohei Otani.
01:09:16Gambler of the year.
01:09:17Alleged.
01:09:18Mm hmm.
01:09:19Great work.
01:09:20Yes.
01:09:21Shohei's interpreter also up for gambler of the year.
01:09:22Not alleged.
01:09:23Yeah.
01:09:24The forensic accountants came back and they said that the, uh, the Ipe, right?
01:09:29Ipe.
01:09:30Ipe.
01:09:31It was all Ipe.
01:09:32Shohei had no idea whatsoever.
01:09:33But I hope that at least on the winning, so on the bets that he did win, maybe Ipe broke
01:09:38him off a little something.
01:09:39Yeah.
01:09:40Just cut him off a little something.
01:09:41Uh, Dave Portnoy is actually nominated for gambler of the year cause he had his stretch
01:09:47where he won pretty much every single bet.
01:09:49Michigan, Yukon, uh, who else?
01:09:53Celtic.
01:09:54Over a million dollars four times.
01:09:56Yeah.
01:09:57All huge underdogs.
01:09:58Insane.
01:09:59Yeah.
01:10:00I didn't have that conversation with him that it was like, this is the year of the chalk
01:10:03and I mean the hottest gambler, but that's, you know, results are results.
01:10:07Results are wrong.
01:10:08You don't, you never give back a winner.
01:10:09You never do.
01:10:10It doesn't matter.
01:10:11Yeah.
01:10:12Because when you lose people let you know about it.
01:10:13Correct.
01:10:14So you have to let them know when you get one right and you're still going to put the
01:10:15money up.
01:10:16And he had the Oilers into the, that wasn't a chalk that he had them into game seven.
01:10:21Yeah.
01:10:22Um, we have all of the lions.
01:10:25If you remember, uh, it was basically the entire lion's secondary Jameson Williams.
01:10:30Uh, they had to cut a couple guys.
01:10:33Now I still think they got screwed because all they did was they didn't bet on the NFL.
01:10:36They just logged onto their gambling account while at the lion's facility.
01:10:42You got to have an it guy who's better than that.
01:10:44Yeah.
01:10:45So the it, it's supposed to be like geofence, right?
01:10:47Yeah.
01:10:48Like if you're an it guy, you block those websites, those apps, or you just pretend
01:10:52it never happened on company property.
01:10:53Yeah.
01:10:55I don't know.
01:10:56I think it was, um, the NFL has it.
01:10:57It was the NFL.
01:10:58Yeah.
01:10:59Had it.
01:11:00So all the lions.
01:11:01Okay.
01:11:02So who do we have to present this award?
01:11:03Uh, so to present this award, we have our legend, our living legend, Stu Feiner.
01:11:07Yes.
01:11:08The winner of the 2024 TC award for best gambler is Shohei Ohtani and his interpreter, Opepe.
01:11:21I fucking love you from Stu Feiner.
01:11:26Ready to roll, ready to roll, ready to roll.
01:11:30Okay.
01:11:31Um, first of all, congratulations Shohei and his interpreter, double award.
01:11:36What happened in that video?
01:11:37Why is he next to the loudest highway ever?
01:11:40And it looks like he's in the snow.
01:11:42How did he know to record?
01:11:43It's rocks.
01:11:44I thought, I thought it was snow too at first though, but I think it's just rocks.
01:11:48So I think what it is is I think his son records a video every day.
01:11:51I know.
01:11:52And that was like muffled.
01:11:53I think his son is opening a restaurant.
01:11:56So he's like, Oh, I might as well get promotion of this highway video and a restaurant that's
01:12:01not open.
01:12:02I don't know.
01:12:03I don't know.
01:12:04I, I love Stu.
01:12:05I love Stu too.
01:12:06I don't think that's the name of the restaurant.
01:12:07Oh no, it's actually open.
01:12:08It is open.
01:12:09I don't think that's the name of the restaurant.
01:12:10It isn't?
01:12:11It's like cork and something.
01:12:12No, I think, I think his son is working in marketing for this restaurant.
01:12:16Got it.
01:12:17But he was like, got to go next to a highway.
01:12:19And so this is for marketing.
01:12:20I was hoping for the pool if we're being honest.
01:12:21I know.
01:12:22I really was too.
01:12:23God damn it.
01:12:25It's okay.
01:12:26The pool would have been great.
01:12:28Or fireworks.
01:12:30Fireworks would have been great as well.
01:12:31Or the mulch.
01:12:32If he did it on mulch day.
01:12:33Yeah.
01:12:34The fireworks video was all time.
01:12:36Can you just pull it up?
01:12:37We just play it for the people who are watching this.
01:12:41It's all time.
01:12:42It's also like the biggest firework ever.
01:12:43I don't really understand.
01:12:46Stu Feiner doesn't feel like someone who should be.
01:12:48Yeah, there it is.
01:12:49In eight days, when I blow my load tonight, this is what it's going to look like.
01:12:56In 28 days.
01:12:57Look at that back pedal.
01:12:58Yeah, the back pedal.
01:12:59Great balance.
01:13:0028 days.
01:13:01Exploded.
01:13:02That's just a bomb.
01:13:03I don't think that's fireworks.
01:13:04I think Stu just built a bomb.
01:13:05Yeah.
01:13:06Stu also just being back in our lives.
01:13:07Comforting.
01:13:08Yeah.
01:13:09Yeah.
01:13:10Yeah.
01:13:11Yeah.
01:13:12Yeah.
01:13:13Yeah.
01:13:14Yeah.
01:13:16Yeah.
01:13:17Yeah.
01:13:18That's great.
01:13:19I just need him back in my life.
01:13:20Okay.
01:13:21Next up, PFT.
01:13:22Actually, why don't you do an ad and then we'll do the next award?
01:13:23Next up, we have an award coming right after this ad as Big Cat said, and this show is
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01:14:36Okay.
01:14:37PFT, what do we have next?
01:14:39We carry on in the show.
01:14:41Yes.
01:14:42We have an award for the startup of the year.
01:14:46Startup of the year.
01:14:47A lot of good startups this year.
01:14:49Vanny Woodhead 2.0.
01:14:50Yes.
01:14:51Hey.
01:14:52I actually had that thought last night.
01:14:53Yeah, because when we got Vanny and we were like, what are we going to do with it?
01:14:56And you're like, don't worry, I'm going to get on it.
01:14:58It's been a while.
01:15:00Are you on it?
01:15:01No, but I'm ready to get on it.
01:15:03Oh, okay.
01:15:04You're ready to hop on?
01:15:05Get on it.
01:15:06After grit week.
01:15:07You're ready to get on it.
01:15:08Okay.
01:15:09So what was the thought that you had last night?
01:15:11That he's ready to get on it.
01:15:12He's in the fucking garage.
01:15:13Shit.
01:15:14Oh, that was your thought.
01:15:15I need to get on it.
01:15:16And you were the one who, you made the biggest mistake because when Vanny showed up, you
01:15:20took ownership.
01:15:21Did I?
01:15:22Yeah, you did.
01:15:23You said, we're going to do so many ad deals.
01:15:27We're going to do this.
01:15:28We're going to do that.
01:15:29And I said, great, whatever you want to do.
01:15:31I'm in.
01:15:32Sounds like you got a plan.
01:15:34And you're like, yeah, I got a plan.
01:15:36Okay.
01:15:37I will have a plan and I'm going to 2025.
01:15:40That thing will be on the road, driving, souped up.
01:15:43At some point in 2025?
01:15:48By next spring, summer.
01:15:49Spring summer.
01:15:50Are you talking Jaloon?
01:15:52When we do the 2025 takeys, will we be able to do some of it from Vanny Woodhead?
01:15:59Yes.
01:16:00I mean, we could do some right now.
01:16:01No, I should have phrased it differently.
01:16:03Some of it from Vanny Woodhead on the highway.
01:16:05Yes.
01:16:06Okay.
01:16:07This is just Hank's preemptive take of the year.
01:16:09Yeah.
01:16:11It's going to be ready to go.
01:16:12You don't believe in me, Max?
01:16:15No.
01:16:16I believe more in this than you're dunking, for sure.
01:16:19I'll give him that.
01:16:20I think that's a very fair thing to say, because you can switch out parts on the car.
01:16:24It's way more likely that this gets done than the dunk.
01:16:28Yeah.
01:16:29Okay.
01:16:30Sure.
01:16:31But the fact that you're saying 2025 doesn't give me a lot of confidence.
01:16:32Well, no.
01:16:33We have to get it fixed.
01:16:34No.
01:16:35I have to find someone.
01:16:36Stop saying we.
01:16:37It's we.
01:16:38Whose car?
01:16:39Who owns it?
01:16:41No one.
01:16:42Oh.
01:16:43Literally, it doesn't exist.
01:16:44Well, at that point, I'm not.
01:16:45You got to do the administrative shit.
01:16:46No.
01:16:47No.
01:16:48What?
01:16:49No.
01:16:50Wait.
01:16:51What did administrative?
01:16:52I don't.
01:16:53Absolutely not.
01:16:54You were the one that got it back here.
01:16:55No, I didn't.
01:16:56No, I didn't.
01:16:57I had nothing to do with it getting back here.
01:16:58Zero.
01:16:59The last I had to do with Vanny Woodhead was I was paying hundreds of dollars in insurance,
01:17:05and I gave it to Billy.
01:17:06And he said, get it off my insurance and get it off the road and have it go to a chop shop.
01:17:11And he said, done.
01:17:13And then it came back to life because he just never did that.
01:17:16Shocker.
01:17:17And then everything from that moment, I have not had anything to do with.
01:17:21Where have I had anything to do with it?
01:17:22Why did it just spawn here?
01:17:23I have no idea.
01:17:24So much.
01:17:25I'm not.
01:17:26I just.
01:17:27You took responsibility for Vanny.
01:17:29Fact or fiction?
01:17:31Fact ish.
01:17:32I had said my goodbyes.
01:17:35Fact ish.
01:17:37But I'm ready to now fully take full responsibility going forward.
01:17:42And by 2025, it'll be on the road driving.
01:17:45But you guys are going to have to do stuff in it.
01:17:47You got to get the Adam Silver meme going.
01:17:50It's to Hubie.
01:17:53Get ready to learn how titles work, buddy, because you're 100 percent just throwing this
01:17:58at him.
01:17:59I'm going to get it fixed first, but.
01:18:01Okay.
01:18:02You're going to get it fixed before you get it.
01:18:04I don't know.
01:18:05Administrative.
01:18:06I'm not like I'm not the most administrative guy.
01:18:08I can figure out getting it fixed, getting it sold and getting it like.
01:18:12I'm pretty confident that Hubie is going to be pretty good at the administrative stuff.
01:18:15Yeah, me too.
01:18:16Yeah.
01:18:17He's going to be really good.
01:18:18He's going to be running all over the city.
01:18:19Yeah.
01:18:20It doesn't sound.
01:18:21Here's my concern.
01:18:22Maybe we turn into the Pugmobile.
01:18:23It doesn't sound like Hank's excited about Vanny Woodhead anymore.
01:18:25Like I am.
01:18:26No, I am.
01:18:27I just kind of forgot about it.
01:18:29Till last night.
01:18:30Yeah.
01:18:31I had like the.
01:18:32Shit.
01:18:33There's a car in there.
01:18:35There's a car in there.
01:18:36Yeah.
01:18:37Yeah.
01:18:38But the potential is still there.
01:18:39Yeah.
01:18:40Okay.
01:18:41That's all that matters.
01:18:42So start up the year.
01:18:43Start up the year.
01:18:44I guess that's for next year then.
01:18:45Yeah.
01:18:46That would be the startup for 2025.
01:18:47Yeah.
01:18:48It's not an overnight thing.
01:18:49Rome wasn't built in a day.
01:18:50Or months.
01:18:51Yeah.
01:18:52We got five months.
01:18:54How long did it take to build Rome?
01:18:57I don't know.
01:18:59No one really says.
01:19:00I don't know.
01:19:01I don't really think about the Roman Empire.
01:19:02Yeah.
01:19:04But yeah, Hank, listen, you've had months already, but what concerns me is you immediately
01:19:09punted to 2025.
01:19:10Yeah.
01:19:11Spring, summer-ish.
01:19:12I don't know how many construction products you guys have been a part of, but it's not
01:19:17like something that you can just.
01:19:18You gave.
01:19:19Have you seen that van?
01:19:20You gave yourself a year deadline.
01:19:23Six months.
01:19:24No, you said spring, summer-ish.
01:19:28That could be August.
01:19:29June 9th was the arrival of Vanny Woodhead.
01:19:31Okay.
01:19:32June 9th, 2025.
01:19:33Okay.
01:19:34So it's the anniversary.
01:19:35All right.
01:19:36That's fair.
01:19:37Got it.
01:19:38Startup of the Year nominee, Booper, a social media app for dogs where dogs can connect
01:19:42and become friends with each other on there.
01:19:43Great idea.
01:19:44I like that.
01:19:45Not to be confused with Blooper, that fat fuck.
01:19:47And then the final Startup of the Year nominee is Darren Revelle's new business, Klit.
01:19:52Oh.
01:19:53Klit.
01:19:54It's the collectibles licensing, that brand.
01:19:55It's Klit.
01:19:56It's called Klit.
01:19:57On the stock market, it's Klit.
01:19:58Yeah.
01:19:59The logo, when you look at it, it's Klit.
01:20:00Klit.
01:20:02Darren Revelle's Klit is nominated for Startup of the Year as well.
01:20:05Okay.
01:20:06And the winner is...
01:20:07Yeah?
01:20:08Darren Revelle's Klit.
01:20:09Yeah!
01:20:10Congratulations, Darren Revelle.
01:20:11Darren Revelle doesn't...
01:20:12We finally want to take you for your Klit.
01:20:15I do love that he doesn't think about sex so much that he didn't even think for a second
01:20:20it looked like Klit, because it does.
01:20:21Yeah, it looks exactly like Klit.
01:20:23The name is Klit.
01:20:24The logo is Klit.
01:20:25Yeah.
01:20:26And it never even dawned on him.
01:20:27Well, Revelle's never seen one before.
01:20:28No.
01:20:29Okay.
01:20:30Congrats to Darren.
01:20:32Is this going to be his first?
01:20:33Yeah, he's probably going to want to take you before.
01:20:34Oh, yeah.
01:20:35Next up is a big one.
01:20:37Plane Passenger of the Year.
01:20:39We had a big year in plane travel.
01:20:43Plane riding?
01:20:44Plane riding.
01:20:45So, the nominees are our own Max Delente for his two sodas.
01:20:54Burrito.
01:20:55Burrito.
01:20:56Techno music.
01:20:57Farts.
01:20:59Honestly, the techno music is maybe one of the more wild wrinkles of that whole story.
01:21:03Just hungover as hell.
01:21:05Blasting techno.
01:21:06I was just...
01:21:07You can't move.
01:21:08You can't...
01:21:09He's having like...
01:21:10I was just vibing.
01:21:11It's just a mental party on a plane while you're hungover as shit.
01:21:15I kind of want...
01:21:17I kind of want now...
01:21:18She's got to mind her own business a little bit on that plane.
01:21:21Just worry about yourself.
01:21:22I kind of want now to have...
01:21:25We should have Max create a techno album and have it call it Burrito, Techno, Two Sodas
01:21:35and Farts.
01:21:36Finance, Six Eyes, Blue Eyes.
01:21:39You could do it, Max.
01:21:40All right.
01:21:41So, Max is nominated.
01:21:42Hit me up.
01:21:43DJs, hit me up.
01:21:44Our good friend, not girlfriend of Hank, Tiffany Gomez.
01:21:50Yeah, congratulations, Tiffany.
01:21:52He was an incredible plane passenger this year.
01:21:55And she's been a great plane passenger since then.
01:21:58Yes.
01:21:59I mean, everyone talks about the time she got kicked off.
01:22:00No one talks about all the successful flights that she's had.
01:22:02Yeah, what the fuck?
01:22:03Since that happened.
01:22:04Yeah.
01:22:05All the times that it hasn't gone that poorly.
01:22:06And then finally, the guy pissing with the weirdest grip ever.
01:22:11He was told that he couldn't use the bathroom upon takeoff and he just started pissing in
01:22:16the middle of the aisle.
01:22:17That guy rocks.
01:22:18Can I say something controversial?
01:22:21Yeah.
01:22:22I understand where he's coming from.
01:22:24Oh, that's not controversial at all.
01:22:25Okay, okay.
01:22:26Good.
01:22:27The only-
01:22:28I don't.
01:22:29I understand.
01:22:30There have been times in the past year where we're in the plane, the plane is yet to reach
01:22:34its cruising altitude, seatbelt light's on, and I gotta go really bad.
01:22:38Like, really, really bad.
01:22:40Emergency level.
01:22:42And I've been told, no, go back to your seat.
01:22:43I did not pull my penis out and pee onto the aisle of the plane, but I'd be lying if the
01:22:49thought didn't occur to me to do that.
01:22:51Yeah.
01:22:52That's why I told to sat down, because I feel like-
01:22:54I have.
01:22:55... if you really had to go, especially if he was in the first row, you can basically
01:22:59just look the other way from the flight attendant and just get in the bathroom.
01:23:02So, yeah.
01:23:03And then when you come out, you're in trouble, but you're-
01:23:04Yeah, at least you've done it.
01:23:05Like, if worst case scenario, like that's only in an emergency situation, but you kind
01:23:10of have to, like, if you really, worst case emergency, like, you could make it happen.
01:23:15There was a flight that-
01:23:16Without having to, like, you know, whip it out.
01:23:17I know that Hank was on this flight with me.
01:23:19I don't know if Big Cat or Max were, but I remember making eye contact with Hank on
01:23:23this flight, and we got delayed on the tarmac for, like, 30 minutes.
01:23:27I got up after, like, 20, because I'm like, I got to take a piss.
01:23:30So I get up, and I get told no.
01:23:32They're like, go sit back down.
01:23:33We turn the seatbelt light on, we're about to take off.
01:23:35And so I'm like, okay, I guess I'll just listen to you.
01:23:38I turn around, go back to the seat, wait there another, like, 20 minutes passes, and I get
01:23:42up again, and the flight attendant's like, please stop.
01:23:46And I was like, it's an emergency, I got to go.
01:23:49And so I just walked past her, went to the bathroom, peed, came out.
01:23:52Then 10 minutes later, we took off.
01:23:53But she was trying to, she was holding my piss hostage at that point.
01:23:57That should be included on the passenger's bill of rights.
01:23:59Like, if you got to go, you got to go.
01:24:01Agreed.
01:24:02Yeah.
01:24:03The only thing, the only mistake this gentleman made was-
01:24:05I would just piss my pants and knock out in the felony.
01:24:08Yeah, the pissing your pants, registering as a sex offender probably.
01:24:11Yeah, not good.
01:24:13Not worth it.
01:24:14Not good.
01:24:15To present Plane Passenger of the Year, we have our good friend, Jerry O'Connell.
01:24:20Hello, I'm Jerry O'Connell, actor, TV presenter, and AWL.
01:24:26I am here today to name the winner of the 2024 Takey for Passenger of the Year.
01:24:32Without further ado, the winner is...
01:24:35Wow.
01:24:37Tiffany Gomez.
01:24:40To accept the award for Tiffany is me, Jerry O'Connell, actor, TV presenter, and AWL.
01:24:48Tiffany gave me a message to convey to the world, but I would personally like to take
01:24:54a moment and convey a message of my own to you, Tiffany Gomez.
01:24:59Tiffany, to fully comprehend the impact you've made, we need to start around 3500 BC with
01:25:06the invention of the wheel.
01:25:08Around 2000 BC, humans began using horses for travel.
01:25:121783 AD, the hot air balloon.
01:25:15Around 1800, the first seam locomotives, automobiles later in the 1800s.
01:25:19And in 1903, the Wright brothers made their first controlled flight.
01:25:27There was some space travel after that that we'll skip past because we need to get to
01:25:30that fateful day of July 2nd, 2023.
01:25:35The day passenger transport changed forever.
01:25:40On July 2nd, Tiffany boarded flight 1009 from Dallas-Fort Worth to Orlando when a family
01:25:46member stole Tiffany's AirPods and Tiffany told us, that motherfucker was not real.
01:25:53There was a reason Tiffany was getting the fuck off and they can believe it or they cannot
01:25:57believe it.
01:25:58Tiffany doesn't give two fucks, but Tiffany was telling us right then that that motherfucker,
01:26:02that motherfucker back there was not real.
01:26:05We thank you, Tiffany.
01:26:07We thank you for warning everyone.
01:26:09I mean, yeah, everyone did have to deplane and go through security again.
01:26:13The flight was delayed like three hours.
01:26:15We could have had two sodas in that time, but we want you to have this takey for passenger
01:26:19of the year.
01:26:20Finally, I'd like to speak to Hank.
01:26:23Hanky, you blew it.
01:26:27You could have been with Tiffany, the 2024 takey winner, but you blew it.
01:26:31Bing, bong.
01:26:32Huey's WNBA takes are better than your whale takes.
01:26:35Bing, bong.
01:26:37You eat scrambled eggs like a child.
01:26:38You call them scrambies.
01:26:39Bing, bong.
01:26:40Your boat driving sucks.
01:26:43Take another class, Hanky.
01:26:44You can't do multiplication tables.
01:26:47Pay your taxes, Hanky.
01:26:48Bing, bong.
01:26:49Stop talking about the duck boat.
01:26:51No one cares.
01:26:52Summer of Hank is almost over.
01:26:55Give Tiffany her AirPods back.
01:26:56Bing, bong.
01:26:57Your short game sucks.
01:27:01That's it, guys.
01:27:02Sorry, guys.
01:27:03It's for a podcast.
01:27:04It's a joke.
01:27:05It makes no sense.
01:27:06JOC, the legend.
01:27:07Congrats to Tiffany Gomez.
01:27:08Well-deserved.
01:27:09Well-earned.
01:27:10He was so, so excited to present that award to her.
01:27:11Yes.
01:27:12No one better than him and Tiffany Gomez.
01:27:13Hank.
01:27:14Yes.
01:27:15Actually, I have no more questions about Tiffany Gomez.
01:27:16Would you like to accept it on her behalf?
01:27:17Yes.
01:27:18And then, but knowing that if you accept it on her behalf, you have to, at some point,
01:27:19give it to her.
01:27:20Yes.
01:27:21I'll accept it on her behalf.
01:27:22Thank you.
01:27:23Thank you.
01:27:24Thank you.
01:27:25Thank you.
01:27:26Thank you.
01:27:27Thank you.
01:27:28Thank you.
01:27:29Thank you.
01:27:30I have no more questions about Tiffany Gomez.
01:27:31Would you like to accept it on her behalf?
01:27:32Yes.
01:27:33I'll accept it on her behalf.
01:27:34I love that.
01:27:35I love that.
01:27:36I love that.
01:27:37I'm honored as her representative.
01:27:38Nice.
01:27:39And you can't wait to give it to her.
01:27:40I can't wait to present this award to her.
01:27:41Yes.
01:27:42Again?
01:27:43I can't wait to present this award to her.
01:27:45Okay.
01:27:46All right.
01:27:47Next up, we have the partnership of the year.
01:27:48Oh.
01:27:49Big year for partnerships this year.
01:27:52The nominees are- Go on.
01:27:58We have the Live PGA Partnership.
01:28:00Yes.
01:28:01We're taking steps.
01:28:02We're mending fences.
01:28:03We're coming up with agreements.
01:28:04There was a demand letter, I think.
01:28:06There was an outline that was put into place and agreed upon.
01:28:09But they are partnered.
01:28:10They are partnered.
01:28:11And they're getting closer to a true partnership.
01:28:13Okay.
01:28:14Also nominated for partnership of the year, Hank and Tiffany Gomez.
01:28:18Oh.
01:28:19They've been nominated.
01:28:21Also nominated for partnership of the year, Hank and Max in Mount Rushmore season.
01:28:25Oh, a contentious Mount Rushmore season that did not go well.
01:28:28It's a good partnership.
01:28:29It was also great.
01:28:30The highlight was when-
01:28:31Max went on vacation and blew it for our whole team.
01:28:33No, when Hank blamed Max for sucking and then Hank went on vacation and Max brought him
01:28:37all the way back.
01:28:38Well, he went on vacation and then I won like three in a row.
01:28:41And then I went on vacation and we lost everyone.
01:28:44But in Hank's defense, he was hung over that one time we had to do a Mount Rushmore at
01:28:498 p.m. on a Sunday.
01:28:50That was your fault.
01:28:53Which is a weekend.
01:28:54It's a weekend.
01:28:55I think that's where the debate started.
01:28:57It did, yeah.
01:28:58Also nominated-
01:28:59And we did like three Mount Rushmore.
01:29:00Whatever.
01:29:01Oh, no.
01:29:02God.
01:29:03It's reliving it.
01:29:04It's a clock in and put a hard day's work in at the podcasting factory.
01:29:08That was also Hank last summer.
01:29:10He was summer Hank last summer.
01:29:11Yeah.
01:29:12It was great.
01:29:13Last summer was amazing.
01:29:14Yeah.
01:29:15Because you had that month where I hadn't moved yet.
01:29:16No one was here and we just did the podcast and that was it.
01:29:20Yeah.
01:29:21Just ripped it up.
01:29:22Also nominated for partnership of the year, we have Hank and Joe Mazzuola.
01:29:26Oh.
01:29:27Great partner.
01:29:28Rubbing honey on each other.
01:29:29Nice.
01:29:30Not on speaking terms right now.
01:29:31No, it's okay.
01:29:32Oh, yeah.
01:29:33Does it say red?
01:29:34No.
01:29:35I just delivered.
01:29:36Oh.
01:29:37Okay.
01:29:38Also nominated for partnership of the year, we have Hank and Golf.
01:29:41Ah.
01:29:42Good partnership.
01:29:43One of the best partnerships.
01:29:44One loves the other a little bit more, though.
01:29:46Yeah.
01:29:47I feel like it's one-sided.
01:29:48There's a promising future.
01:29:49I think there's buy-in now.
01:29:50As long as you don't golf on camera.
01:29:51Even that, though, I'm due.
01:29:54It's really the on camera that you're bad at.
01:29:55I'm due.
01:29:57I'm happy to have bad film out there, because then when I get good, it's going to be that
01:29:59much sweeter.
01:30:00Okay.
01:30:01Also nominated for partnership of the year, Hank and Gravity.
01:30:05Keeping them down.
01:30:06Gravity.
01:30:07That one's kind of dragging you down.
01:30:08That one you can sell.
01:30:09Yeah.
01:30:10Yeah.
01:30:11Sell that one.
01:30:12Okay.
01:30:13Okay.
01:30:14The winner of partnership of the year goes to the Live PGA Tour.
01:30:17Oh.
01:30:18Congratulations, Live PGA Tour.
01:30:20Yeah.
01:30:21And PFT explained to me what their partnership is now?
01:30:25Their partnership is that they have an outline that they've agreed to, and an arrangement,
01:30:29and a skeleton clause that they've put in, and it seems like things are progressing.
01:30:34Wow.
01:30:35They're basically the same organization right now.
01:30:36Yeah.
01:30:37Who do you think would be more nerve wracking to sit next to on a plane?
01:30:41The founders of the Live Tour, or Tiffany?
01:30:46All time bad passengers.
01:30:47Live.
01:30:48Live.
01:30:49Probably.
01:30:50Yeah.
01:30:51Not all time.
01:30:52One time.
01:30:53Well, it was a pretty big day in American history, Hank.
01:30:54Come on, Hank.
01:30:55I'm talking about Tiffany.
01:30:56Oh, you're talking about Tiffany.
01:30:57Oh, okay.
01:30:58All right.
01:30:59Yeah.
01:31:00All right.
01:31:01Okay.
01:31:02Congrats to Live and PGA.
01:31:04Next up, we have a very special award.
01:31:06It is ratio of the year, one of our favorite awards to give out every single year.
01:31:11I will read the tweets and also tell you what the quote tweets are for ratio of the year.
01:31:16The nominees are Jonathan Ross, who said, prediction, AI will displace social drinking
01:31:25within five years.
01:31:27Just as alcohol is a social disinhibitor, like the Steve Martin movie, Roxanne, people
01:31:33use AI powered earbuds to help them socialize.
01:31:36At first we'll view it as creepy, but it will quickly become superior to alcohol.
01:31:40So five years, no more beer.
01:31:43We're just going to be robots.
01:31:44We're just going to wear ear pods.
01:31:45Yeah, that sounds awful.
01:31:472.6 thousand quote tweets.
01:31:50This guy sounds like he just smashes the AI button for every product, every problem that
01:31:54he has.
01:31:55Yeah.
01:31:567.7 million views on that one.
01:31:57That one was quite something.
01:32:01This one is just funny because it was a woman said, the flex I like to see, and it was a
01:32:08kid holding a sign that said, I read a thousand books, thousand books club before kindergarten.
01:32:16So it's a five year old.
01:32:17Yeah.
01:32:18Is that, I don't know.
01:32:19I'm not an expert on kids.
01:32:21Do they typically read before kindergarten?
01:32:22No, they don't know how to read before kindergarten.
01:32:24But the ratio is, so this person tweeted it, they had 67 million views, 5,000 quote tweets
01:32:33on it.
01:32:34And the best quote tweet was someone said, no footage, just a piece of paper.
01:32:38Be a fraud like Wilt.
01:32:39Talking about Wilt Chamberlain.
01:32:40I love that.
01:32:41Great.
01:32:42A great, great reply.
01:32:46Next up we have, uh, the quote tweets of our coworkers winning a championship.
01:32:57The Boston Celtics fans in the office, uh, who had for the 18th time, the Boston Celtics
01:33:03are NBA champions as everyone just shakes hands like they're coming off of the 18th
01:33:07hole.
01:33:08I've already been there before.
01:33:0922 million views, 3.2 thousand quote tweets.
01:33:14And uh, one of the best one is perfect example of why spoiled franchises across all sports
01:33:18don't deserve to win.
01:33:19I've celebrated first downs harder than this.
01:33:21Yeah.
01:33:22There were a lot of people saying like I've celebrated a touchdown for my backup running
01:33:25back in a fantasy league harder than this.
01:33:28Yeah.
01:33:29It does infuriate me looking at how much success Boston sports has had where this is
01:33:33how they celebrate a championship.
01:33:34Yeah.
01:33:35So that was quite something.
01:33:36This one is, uh, anonymous.
01:33:38Uh, it has 9.6 thousand quote tweets, 38 million views.
01:33:46It says if Taylor Swift is going to be taking over our Sundays, I'm going to need to see
01:33:49a sex tape.
01:33:50These are my demands at part of my take.
01:33:52Okay.
01:33:53I don't recognize who is this guy.
01:33:54Video.
01:33:55Yeah.
01:33:56I don't recognize it.
01:33:57He looks like he's caroling.
01:33:58Who's that guy?
01:33:59Yeah.
01:34:00He's crazy.
01:34:01Credit to me for not deleting it.
01:34:02Uh, you gotta leave it up.
01:34:03Gotta leave it up because if you take it down, then, then the terrorist will have won.
01:34:04Yeah, exactly.
01:34:0538 million views.
01:34:07Uh, last one.
01:34:09This one is from the storyteller.
01:34:11She said Keanu Reeves would totally shit himself if anyone actually tried to kill him.
01:34:16Let alone thousands of evil hit men.
01:34:18He's just a makeup wearing salesman and what he's selling our lies.
01:34:22Violence isn't sexy.
01:34:24Death isn't easy and karma won't get you.
01:34:27Keanu.
01:34:28truth. Try selling truth. Stop acting. Yeah. Uh, 16,000 quote
01:34:33tweets. That's pretty good. Hank, that kind of blew your
01:34:35mind. Did you not realize that Keanu Reeves was an actor? No,
01:34:39I mean, that's just, I can't believe that, uh, someone would
01:34:41come to that conclusion or that's how they would feel after
01:34:43watching John Wick. Yeah. Yeah. Sometimes this isn't real. Yeah.
01:34:47It's a good reminder. Just some people need to turn their
01:34:50brains off sometimes. Yes, that would be true. Uh, it's a
01:34:53movie. It is a movie. Fact. Um, actually movies, the ratio of
01:34:59the year, uh, you know, we were going to give it to the Celtics
01:35:03fans, but I'm looking at these numbers. Do I have to take it? I
01:35:05had 10,000 quote tweets. That's a lot of quote tweets. Okay. I,
01:35:10I, for, for the record, big cat, do you want to see a sex
01:35:14tape? No. Would you watch a sex tape? Yes. I think if a sex
01:35:22tape was put in front of you, I honestly, if you, if you took
01:35:26any male and any female and had a sex tape and you said, here
01:35:31are these people having sex and just showed it to me, I would
01:35:33look regardless of who it was. Yeah. If it was in front of me.
01:35:36Yes. So do I have to give it to myself? Yeah. I, I didn't want
01:35:40to just cause I didn't want to start it all over again. Yeah.
01:35:43Um, okay. So I won ratio of the year. I got ratio to hell.
01:35:48Congratulations. Holy fuck. When memes sent me that he's like,
01:35:51I'm sorry about what I'm about to send. And I hadn't thought
01:35:54about it for probably four months. Yeah. And I looked at,
01:35:57I was like, Oh my God, the numbers are staggering. Now,
01:36:00did you, uh, do you think you've gained followers or lost
01:36:03followers? Lost? Probably. Yeah. Probably lost. Yeah. Hey,
01:36:07listen, we all say things. We do. I stand by it. I stand by
01:36:13it. You know what, big cat? It's because you were acting in
01:36:15that clip. Try selling truth instead. That's true. If a
01:36:19gunman came to, if someone came to me and said, Hey, you got to
01:36:21be on a sex tape. I probably would be like, uh, I come too
01:36:23fast. Self-truth. Yeah. Okay. What do we have next? Next up
01:36:29we have the WNBA rookie of the year. Oh my God. There's a lot
01:36:32of good options here. We've never given this award. No, it's
01:36:35the first time ever. Thank you to Caitlin Clark for growing
01:36:37the game or thank you to Angel Reese or thank you to whoever
01:36:40or thank you to Cameron Brink. Oh, those are the nominee. Oh,
01:36:44Caitlin Clark, Angel Reese. People watch the WNBA for her
01:36:47too. And Cameron Brink are the nominees and the winner of the
01:36:51WNBA rookie of the year award is Cameron Brink. Wow. Cameron
01:36:56Brink. I think she has grown the game and you're a WNBA
01:37:00expert. How has Cameron Brink been playing? Uh, she's hurt.
01:37:04Oh yeah. But like only day to day. But think about this rest
01:37:07of the season. Oh, rest of the season. Think about this. But
01:37:10the first few games she had incredible ratings, ratings are
01:37:14so high right now. And that's what Cameron Brink injured. I
01:37:17imagine what they're going to be when she comes back. That's
01:37:19true. And she's been getting off. I did also like the memes
01:37:23that went out about Cameron Brink. Those were funny. People
01:37:26were finding all kinds of pictures of small men and large
01:37:30women. You guys know what I'm talking about. Uh, what, what
01:37:33was the impressive part of her, uh, season? She, she was on
01:37:37fire to start. Yeah, she was just a very good rookie. Uh, you
01:37:41know, very similar to Angel Reese and her type of how she
01:37:44played and her numbers a little bit better shooter. She was,
01:37:46she was great at Stanford. Well, I also think, didn't she
01:37:49make, I think she made the Olympic team before Caitlin
01:37:52Clark did. Yeah. It was the three on three team. Yeah. Yeah.
01:37:55That's a fact. She should be representing this country right
01:37:57now. All right. Cameron Brink is our WNBA rookie of the year.
01:38:00Congratulations to her. Yes. How tall is she? She's like six
01:38:04two. Well, how tall is she? Six four. Six four. Yeah. She's a
01:38:07four. Oh man. And how tall is, is her guy? I don't know
01:38:11actually. Good question. Yeah. How tall are you Huey? Six on
01:38:15the dot. Oh, on the dot. Good for you. Is that, wait, when you
01:38:20say six on the dot, you can't actually be without shoes. Six
01:38:25point Oh one. I don't. Okay. All right. All right. All right.
01:38:29I'm up for debate. All right. Okay. Okay. Back to back. Back
01:38:33to back. Uh, all right. Next up we have, uh, the Ruth Conda
01:38:39forever, uh, award take you of the year. This is now this is
01:38:44our, our coworker, Kevin, Kevin Clancy started this when we had
01:38:48the famous Ruth Conda tweet that went viral. I think it was,
01:38:52uh, four or five years ago. It, it read, just told my 10 year
01:38:56old daughter about our RBG with his Ruth Bader Ginsburg when
01:39:01she passed away. What's this? Uh, the first I'm hearing of
01:39:03this, the, yeah, she, she, what was the song playing? Fuck. It
01:39:08was like a hilarious when he's on the tarmac. Yeah. It's a
01:39:11great clip. It was like rocket man or something. Yeah. I think
01:39:13it was a rocket man. All right. So just told my 10 year old
01:39:15daughter about RBG. She had tears in her eyes and then she
01:39:19did the Wakanda pose and said Ruth Conda forever, which is
01:39:22the sort of pop culture crossover that I can celebrate.
01:39:25I love that. So this award is for people who basically just
01:39:27go online and lie about what their kids say, uh, in terms of
01:39:30politics because they're too scared to say it themselves. The
01:39:32lowest of the low, the lowest, imagine having a fictional
01:39:36child, say something online, the lowest of the low. So the
01:39:40nominees this year, we have some good, we have three great
01:39:42nominees. One happened just recently. Uh, this is from Jojo
01:39:47from jurors. She said, I told my 11 year old daughter, the Joe
01:39:50had dropped out and she started to cry and through her tears,
01:39:53she asked, so who will run now? And I said, Kamala. And then she
01:39:58shouted, fuck. Yes. That's so, that's so true. So true. And
01:40:03it's so sweet. So true. Uh, she's, she's one of those
01:40:06Twitter accounts that she has to be online all the time. She
01:40:09has to have notifications set up for every tweet, no matter
01:40:13what, like part of the news ecosystem it comes from. Yeah.
01:40:16If it's politics, sports, weather, she's always like the
01:40:20first reply. Yes. Yes. Wild move. Yes. Uh, the next is from
01:40:24Ellie, uh, NYC. She said, or he, I don't know, uh, Ellie, uh,
01:40:29she one L Ellie E L I E Ellie Schmidt. Yeah. Uh, my kid just
01:40:36said, it's sad to watch a pack of lies beat a good person just
01:40:40because the good person can't speak talking about Joe Biden
01:40:43versus Donald Trump in their debate. That's a fair point.
01:40:46Like you can't lie if you can't talk. Yeah. And, uh, Ellie
01:40:49replied, uh, I literally just gave him a hug and said that
01:40:53debates don't matter. It turns out debates do matter. They do
01:40:56a lot. They matter a lot. It's kind of where it kind of, it's
01:40:59kind of where you talk about all fell apart. Yeah. Yeah. Uh,
01:41:04okay. So, and then the last one is, uh, from Rebecca Hazleton,
01:41:08she said, everyone dies one day, everyone, even wolves, but not
01:41:13books, not words. Words don't die. My son, three, who is a lot
01:41:21smarter than I am. Words don't die. There's the, I have a
01:41:27three-year-old. I don't think three-year-olds know what death
01:41:29is. A three-year-old has never constructed this type of
01:41:31sentence. Yeah. Like let alone the death part, the sentence.
01:41:35Yeah. No three-year-old. My son started talking to me about
01:41:37death around four and a half. My three-year-old has no idea. But
01:41:40again, let me read it. This is from a three-year-old. Everyone
01:41:43dies one day. Everyone, everyone, everyone. Yeah. Let
01:41:47me do a kid's voice. Everyone dies one day. Everyone, even
01:41:52wolves, but not books, not woods. Woods don't die.
01:42:01What the fuck? Why did, this is bad parenting. Why did you
01:42:04teach your three-year-old that wolves die? Seriously? And that
01:42:08everyone dies. Yeah. I don't want to know that when I'm
01:42:10three. No, hell no. Uh, okay. So Ruth Conda forever, which is,
01:42:14uh, I'm happy we added this category. Shout out Kevin. And
01:42:17the winner is for the Ruth Conda forever takey award. It's
01:42:23Rebecca Hazleton. Everyone dies one day. Everyone, even wolves,
01:42:28but not books, not words. Words don't die. My son three, who is
01:42:33a lot smarter than I am. Wolves die. Wolves die, but not words.
01:42:37We, so we, we, we taped, uh, the takeys over two days. So a
01:42:40little out of order at points. Um, and I tried to, uh, coach my
01:42:46three-year-old to say this whole thing. And I sent you guys
01:42:48a video and she got, uh, the last sentence and it wasn't even
01:42:53correct. Yeah. It was like, I think she said words. Yeah.
01:42:56Words. So it, it, it proves yet again, that this is the most
01:42:59bullshit thing ever. I was saying the words to her feeding
01:43:02her lines and she couldn't get it. If you do have a child
01:43:05though, that is that eloquent. What a content goldmine that
01:43:08would be. Seriously. You can just retire right now. Yeah.
01:43:11Quick break from the takeys. Talk about our friends at
01:43:15factor meals. I have been a factor meal guy for a very long
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01:44:32subscription is active. Okay, let's get back to the take.
01:44:37Uh, the 20th award that we're giving out this year is for the
01:44:4017th best quarterback of the year. Whoa. First annual, I
01:44:44think we're going to repeat this next. Yes. It seems like a
01:44:47good category. Yes. The 2024 taking nominees for 17th best
01:44:51quarterback of the year are Kirk Cousins. Oh, could Kirk win
01:44:57this 17th best quarterback? That's just past half. Yeah.
01:45:02Yeah. Deshaun Watson. Oh, he might have been worse than
01:45:07that. Actually. Yeah, he was. I think we had him in the 20s.
01:45:10Okay. Gardner Minshew. That feels that feels about right.
01:45:14Yep. Gardner. Yep. I feel like he could win this. Gino Smith
01:45:19and Dak Prescott.
01:45:23And the winner of the first annual 17th best quarterback of
01:45:27the year award is Dak Prescott. Wow. Congrats. Now we didn't do
01:45:33this award just so that we could put it on a logo and post it,
01:45:38did we? No, we grinded through hours and hours of tape. We
01:45:40watched every throw that he made going back to Mississippi
01:45:43state. We watched everything about Dak Prescott. Yes. And we
01:45:45put in together a spreadsheet and a proprietary algorithm and
01:45:50it spat this out. So Dak is officially the 17th best
01:45:53quarterback in the NFL. Wow. Incredible. Now it's cemented.
01:45:57Because once you went to takey, it's cemented forever. That is
01:46:00what you are. Okay. We got a few left. We're rounding it out.
01:46:05We still got Blake of the year left. We still got podcast
01:46:07listeners of the year left. But next up we have the best four
01:46:10win team of the year. Now you might be saying, what the hell?
01:46:14Four win teams. But guess what? Four win teams are usually the
01:46:17teams that are next up. There were some great four win teams.
01:46:20They're building something. First up, the New England Patriots
01:46:25who went four and 13 huge season for your boys. Enormous start of
01:46:30the championship DVD, right? Hank? Yep. Was Drake may draft
01:46:34night. Also up the Washington commanders four and 13. Yeah.
01:46:40Now I got to give credit to Hank. His four win team was
01:46:43better. We drafted before them. So we got Jane Daniels. That's
01:46:46true. Yeah. Did you see the giants clip? No. From hard
01:46:50knocks. No. Uh, the GM asked his son. He said, you got to get
01:46:53Jane Daniels. If you want to win, you got to take a shot.
01:46:56Wow. And then he said, Ruth Conda forever. Books don't
01:47:00matter. No books matter. Uh, the Colorado Buffaloes four and
01:47:05eight. Yeah. What a great, what a great start. Incredible
01:47:09season. Dion was college football. Yeah. And then finally
01:47:12the Arizona Cardinals are up for the four win team of the year
01:47:17with their four and 13 record. So they were better than the
01:47:21Patriots because you drafted before the Cardinals, right?
01:47:24Yeah. So they might, according to my metrics here, they're the
01:47:27best four win team in the NFL. Yeah, that's facts. Uh, okay.
01:47:31Drum roll. And the winner for best four win team of the year
01:47:37goes to the Colorado Buffalo. Congrats. Colorado rideable. I
01:47:41know the SPS probably ignored the Colorado Buffaloes, but not
01:47:44here. Not on part of my take. We're giving it to them. The
01:47:46best four win team of the year. ESPN doesn't pay any attention
01:47:50to Colorado football. Finally they're going to shine
01:47:52disgusting. Yep. Finally they're getting some, we also
01:47:55fucked up when we did the Mount Rushmore of animals that you'd
01:47:57like to be. Yep. Cause if we're taking animal mascots, I feel
01:48:00like Ralphie should be right at the top. Yeah. Ralphie's got a
01:48:03great gig. Ralphie lives on a farm outside Boulder. They bring
01:48:06her onto the field. She runs and they don't really tell her
01:48:10where to go. They're just like, we're bringing this Buffalo out
01:48:13onto the field. Yeah. And let's just let the chips fall where
01:48:15they may. Yeah. Ralphie's the best. Uh, okay. What do we got
01:48:19next? Okay. Up next we have the buyout of the year. Oh, good
01:48:24one. A lot of good buyouts in 2023, 2024. Uh, first nominee
01:48:31is Russell Westbrook. Yeah. The bio King Russell Westbrook,
01:48:36two in a row in Utah. He's putting together a mini dynasty
01:48:39of buyouts. Hasn't played a single second of basketball
01:48:43practice with the team even. Um, but he's getting paid. Yeah.
01:48:47Next up we have Monty Williams, Monty Williams, former son,
01:48:51double buyout, former piston. Yeah. Back to back. And the
01:48:55final nominee for buyout of the year is Jimbo Fisher. Yeah.
01:48:59Jimbo Fisher got the big check from Texas A and M. We saw the
01:49:02big check get delivered onto the field the week before the
01:49:05buyout. One of the best college football wrinkles like Texas A
01:49:09and M especially because of all the oil money. Uh, but yeah,
01:49:12the, the, the donor donating like a hundred million dollars
01:49:15at halftime of a Texas A and M game. And then seven days later,
01:49:19Jimbo Fisher getting bought out was so perfect. And all three of
01:49:21these guys really hats off to them. They're all winners
01:49:24because you've accomplished the American dream. Correct. You're
01:49:27getting paid to stop working. Correct. That's awesome. The
01:49:30winner of the 2024 buyout of the year takey is Jimbo Fisher.
01:49:35Wow. Texas A and M the price, the price of oil and gas went
01:49:39up. They were able to afford it, got him out of town. Now he's
01:49:42just going to go fishing for a while. What was his buyout
01:49:45again? Shit. What was it? Jimbo Fisher's buyout. It was so
01:49:48awesome. I want to say he got like $70 million. It's also so
01:49:51funny because when you get a buyout $75 million, when you get
01:49:55a buyout like that, you get a bunch of people. Oh, 77 million.
01:49:59You get a bunch of people who don't follow college football
01:50:02that like fly in from the crowd and being like, they can't fire
01:50:06him. The buyouts too big. It's like, no, no, no, no. Listen,
01:50:09there's no buyout too big when you're the only game in town. If
01:50:12you're especially at a big state school that's in a small
01:50:15town, that's where all the money goes. So they will figure
01:50:18out a way to at least be. Now this is actually a sweet spot
01:50:22for, for schools. Like we always say Penn state, but I also feel
01:50:25like a and M could sneak into a college football playoff too.
01:50:28Yeah, this is a good spot for them. Yeah, that is move. It is.
01:50:30Uh, okay. Next up, Max, get off of my, my Taylor Swift tweet.
01:50:35You're going to accidentally retweet it. I know that's what
01:50:37you're going to do. It's up to 40 million views. Get off of it.
01:50:40You just retweeted it. Come on, dude. You fucking asshole.
01:50:49It is funny though. It was accident. It was accident.
01:50:52I also don't want to be fat face. You do have just like a,
01:50:55a ace in the hole at all times. Retweet it every day.
01:50:59Oh, I won't delete it. I'll never delete it. Okay. Uh,
01:51:03let's get to our next award. Can't win the big one of the
01:51:06year. A lot of, a lot of, a lot of athletes can't win the big
01:51:10one. A lot of big ones out there that can't be one. Yeah. So we
01:51:13had, uh, Connor McDavid can't win the big one. Can't do it.
01:51:18Can't win the big one. Almost did. People say he's the best,
01:51:21but he can't win the big one. He won three out of seven of the
01:51:24big ones. Yeah. Uh, Caitlin Clark can't win the big one.
01:51:28Can't win the big one. Can not win the big college college
01:51:33joke. WNBA probably can't win the big one Olympics. No gold
01:51:37medal for her. Nope. Uh, Roy McIlroy can't win the big one.
01:51:41I can't win the big one. I don't think he's ever going to
01:51:43win a major. I don't think so. He's going to be one of those
01:51:45guys that you look back on and you're like calling Montgomery.
01:51:48What could have been can't win a major. Yeah. Sergio Garcia
01:51:51can't win a major. Can't do it. Uh, Lamar Jackson can't win the
01:51:55big one. Can't win. He's got a lot of number two. They were
01:51:58favored at home. Perfect setup. Number one seed. Incredible
01:52:02season. Can't win the big one. Run the football. Run the
01:52:05football. Uh, Max in the lottery ball. Max is never going
01:52:08to get this lottery ball. Never going to get the lottery. It's
01:52:11so funny watching Max just not get the lottery ball ever. He
01:52:14can't win the big one. The good thing is that I can win the big
01:52:16one with my sports teams. Uh, actually, Joe beads, the next
01:52:21nominee can't win the big one and he can't even win the small
01:52:25one. He can't win the big one before the big one. He can't
01:52:28win one. He actually can't win the big one before the big one
01:52:31before the big one. He's never won. Uh, one that was like
01:52:35above average size. Yeah. Can't win it. Uh, Max and say, Oh,
01:52:40gold medal. That would actually be really funny if USA finished
01:52:43second. Now I'm rooting for it. Shit. It would be, but now I'm
01:52:45rooting for it. Damn it. But like that would be everyone. I
01:52:50guess, I guess, but it was, you know, actually that was stupid.
01:52:53There's no way that the bulls and the, or the wizards would
01:52:56have anyone. It would be about you, buddy. That's actually
01:52:58fair statement. Yeah. That's a fair point. Yeah. But it would
01:53:01be about you, but it's also a big loser move to be like, well,
01:53:05if I don't win and it'd be a championship, at least I've got
01:53:07a gold medal. Yeah. Carmelo Anthony. Yeah. Friend of the
01:53:12program. Carmelo program. We like Carmelo. Uh, okay. Uh, and
01:53:17we have a very special guest presenting this award. Oh, Hey
01:53:22guys, Whit here, Ryan Whitney. I think the number one
01:53:26reoccurring guest on the number one sports podcast in the world.
01:53:29Pardon my take. And I'm here to present to you for the 2024
01:53:33takies award, the award of can't win the big one nominees,
01:53:38Caitlin Clark, Rory McIlroy, Connor McDavid. Don't like him
01:53:42being a part of it. Go Oilers. Joel Embiid. Who else we got
01:53:48Lamar of the Baltimore Ravens and max with a lottery ball. And
01:53:54the award goes to Caitlin Clark. Cry me a river Portnoy. Caitlin
01:53:59Clark. Can't win the big one of the year. Wow. Caitlin Clark.
01:54:03Thank you, Ryan. Incredible. Thank you, Ryan. That. Yeah,
01:54:07that's, I mean, I thought that this was going to be Connor
01:54:10McDavid. I thought that it was going to be Connor McDavid, uh,
01:54:15right up until Ryan Whitney said he would not announce the
01:54:17award saying it was Connor McDavid. Yeah. But I, I think
01:54:20that, you know, Caitlin Clark is a great choice if you had to
01:54:23replace Connor McDavid with somebody. Yes, exactly. Exactly.
01:54:26If maybe you know what it is, I, this might be kind of mean
01:54:31Whitney. He never won the big one. Oh, you think he's got team
01:54:35did you think he's got, can't win the big one sensitivity?
01:54:37Yeah, he might. So that probably is where that's from. Yeah.
01:54:40Oops. Our bad. Sorry, Ryan. That just, that just occurred to
01:54:43me right now. Yeah. Uh, okay. Next up we have a new award
01:54:47sexiest NFL fan of the year. Ooh. Yeah. All right. We had
01:54:52some sexy fans. Speaking of Taylor Swift is nominated for
01:54:56sexiest NFL fan of the year for her brain, for her brain. Uh,
01:55:00we also have our good friend Stavi who had an incredible run
01:55:04with the Ravens that fell short, but he was part of, he was part
01:55:08of the, you know, the team and, and everything that went into
01:55:11it. So it was pretty cool. Uh, we have sprinkles Detroit Don
01:55:16and, and super fans, uh, seatmate that they, that came
01:55:21back for a playoff game. What does she get dressed up as? Is
01:55:24she a clown? I would imagine there's gotta be some kind of,
01:55:27I thought she was a cupcake. She might be a cup. Oh, a
01:55:29cupcake. Okay. Yeah. That's sexy. Sprinkles. Okay. Um,
01:55:33sprinkles nominated and Jake Brown's girlfriend nominated
01:55:36again. She was great. Um, box. Yeah. Okay. So we have, uh, a
01:55:41very special guest presenter, uh, for this award and let's
01:55:45kick it to him. What's up everybody. It's your boy Stavi.
01:55:49I helped out straight out of the pool cause I'm getting my
01:55:51Michael Phelps on this summer and I'm here to announce the
01:55:542024 takey for the hottest, sexiest NFL fan. And that is
01:56:00the winner is none other than me. That's right. Take that T
01:56:07Swifty. Jake Browning's girlfriend. Bam. I will never
01:56:10lose to anyone connected to the Cincinnati Bengals. Jake
01:56:13Browning, you can lick my Stavros Brown. I, the only
01:56:17competitor I have respect for is sprinkles. You were a worthy
01:56:20adversary and you deserve this just as much as I do. Thank you.
01:56:24I'm honored to win a takey, um, as a special give back to the
01:56:28AWLs who are NFL fans. I am offering to fuck your wife all
01:56:32season as long as the Ravens play your team. Uh, as a, as a
01:56:38gift to you, I will fuck your wife after the Ravens beat your
01:56:42dumb ass team. I want to win the fucking Superbowl baby.
01:56:45Let's go. Nice job. Stop. Mustache is looking good too.
01:56:51Look at that. Oh, it looks so good. It looks kind of like the
01:56:53natty bow logo. Oh man. So sprinkles got a little shout
01:56:57out there. Uh, the adversary. Yeah. So Stavi, he won the
01:57:01award that he was nominated for and presented. That's pretty
01:57:04good. Yeah. Pretty good year for Stavi. Great year for Stavi.
01:57:07All right. Uh, rounding it out. We got a few more. We do. We
01:57:10have a special category here. New category, the Florio of the
01:57:14year. Oh, the Florio of the year award. Oh, this is a big,
01:57:17this is a big, who's going to win this? The nominees are Mike
01:57:21Florio. Oh, just the lie. Just the biggest lie. Whoa, whoa,
01:57:26whoa, whoa. I thought you guys made your piece. Hey, I'm just,
01:57:29I'm just trying to get caught. Memes. Can you explain Florio
01:57:32of the year award? Uh, someone who just kind of over, over
01:57:37exaggerate stories and uh, yeah, well, yeah, kind of lies.
01:57:45What was the, what was the thing that he got so upset about
01:57:47Florio when, uh, sites made up things for, oh, he got upset
01:57:50about the Archie Manning story where it was like some websites
01:57:54out there are just generating inflammatory headlines for
01:57:57clicks. Yeah, that was a great one. Yeah. Um, but yeah, Hank,
01:58:00it's disappointing because you and Mike made your piece
01:58:02publicly. No, we have, we're good. I was just curious what
01:58:05that meant. You just called him a liar though. I asked, does it
01:58:08mean lies? But it doesn't. Okay. The Florio of the year
01:58:10nominees are Mike Florio, Diana Rossini, Matt Miller, Dan
01:58:17Graziano. Wow. A lot of Italians on this list. Memes.
01:58:21Seems like you got to type. And the winner of the Florio of the
01:58:25year award for 2024 is Mike Florio. Wow. Mike Florio
01:58:30defending the crown. It's all about the family. Uh, memes,
01:58:34will you, will you want to accept this award on behalf of
01:58:36Mike Florio? Yeah, I would love to. Okay. Uh, Dan, Dan
01:58:40Graziano came in as a late, uh, Florio, but, uh, I managed to
01:58:45beat him out, uh, with just, you know, all time lies on the
01:58:49part of my take podcast went on an all time rant, but, uh, you
01:58:52know, I'll be back next year to win it. Okay. How many of
01:58:55these nominees had a story about the New York jets? All
01:59:01four of them. Who came up with the nominee list? Um, I came up
01:59:09with three out of four. Which one did you not? Uh, Florio was
01:59:13just automatically in. Okay. So you came up with all four.
01:59:16Yeah. I like this category though. It's like, who can
01:59:18unseat Florio? Yeah. It's like king of the Hill. Yeah. Who's
01:59:22the Florio of the year? We'll be, we'll be watching for next
01:59:25year. All right. Uh, next up we have coach of the year, big,
01:59:31big year in sports. We had some incredible championship runs.
01:59:36Someone's got to win coach of the year. The nominees are Joe
01:59:40Missoula from the Boston Celtics. Great coach. Yeah. Oh,
01:59:44Hank, he's so tired of winning. He just doesn't even know. I've
01:59:48shown more excitement when I got passed in the fan. I mean,
01:59:50it's a nomination and we'll talk when he wins. Okay. Uh,
01:59:53JJ Redick, Los Angeles Lakers coach. Great coach. Uh, we have
01:59:58Jim Harbaugh, one national title got, got hired for the
02:00:02chargers. Our guy, football guy through and through. And then
02:00:05Andy Reed with his third super bowl, getting close to that. Is
02:00:10he the goat? Yeah. I mean, it's going to be tough to beat Andy
02:00:13and he is in the goat conversation. It's halfway there.
02:00:16Yeah. Well, current coaches. Yeah. He's, he's really, really
02:00:19good. And he's got a great quarterback. Yeah. He's coaching
02:00:23his balls off is all right. We have a special guest presenter
02:00:26for this award. I've not seen this video, so let's all watch
02:00:30it together. Boys. It is my honor and privilege to announce
02:00:35the 2024 takies coach of the year. One of my dearest friends.
02:00:41And this is an insanely proud moment for me because this man
02:00:44is like a brother to me. JJ Redick. You max. I know you're
02:00:49sick. You're in that name. Congratulations. JJ, you have
02:00:53earned this award. You deserve this award. Just like
02:00:55everything else in your life. Take the Lakers all the way.
02:00:58Listen to me. Look at me. Take the Lakers all the way. Cause
02:01:02you got a lot of haters out there. A lot of naysayers max
02:01:05being one of them. And Hey, max, what are you going to do when
02:01:08the Lakers run wild on your candy asses out there? Silly
02:01:12congratulations, bro. Again, you deserve this. Cherish this
02:01:15moment and I'll see you at Christmas, man. You max. All
02:01:21right. That's good. That's a JJ. Max does hate JJ. Incredible.
02:01:25Yep. Incredible. He fucking despises JJ Redick. Oh, oh,
02:01:31that's funny. Okay. Uh, we got three left. We do. Should we,
02:01:35should we add one? We didn't do our play of the year. Oh, the
02:01:39Aspies had their, they gave it to Lamar. Okay. Do you guys
02:01:42have a play of the year? I have a play of the year. Uh,
02:01:46Travis Kelsey throwing the lateral to Kedarious Tony that
02:01:49was called back on the flag. Yep. And, and Travis and Andy
02:01:53were saying it's sad because that won't be included in
02:01:55Canton one day. Yep. Well, we're, we're memorializing it
02:01:57right now. Okay. Um, my play of the year is a summer league
02:02:01when Bronnie, uh, took it coast to coast and he bricked a 10
02:02:05footer. That's a good one. Yeah. Hank probably, uh, Oh, I
02:02:13have one. You have another one. Well, if, if Hank can think of
02:02:17one, I had one for him. Probably had to be in the Copa.
02:02:20Oh yeah. That game winner. Which, which team?
02:02:25Uh, Argentina. Nice. Nice. Nice. Yeah. Who are they playing?
02:02:30The semis. Uh, I'm blanking on who they're playing, but the
02:02:33semifinal was incredible. Portugal. Who scored Portugal
02:02:37when they beat Portugal? Do you remember who scored? Yeah.
02:02:40Hamas. Hamas. Okay. I was going to say that Mac Jones
02:02:45interception in England. You remember that one? Yeah. The
02:02:48one that was under thrown by like 15 yards. That was a great
02:02:51one. Can we nominate that one? Yeah, absolutely. Okay.
02:02:53Absolutely. So, uh, we should let the listeners vote. Yeah.
02:02:56Yeah. The listeners we'll, we'll put up a poll. I have one
02:02:58too. Oh, okay. Uh, the Jalen Carter almost interception off
02:03:02of the spike. Nah, that wasn't that cool. Yeah, that wasn't,
02:03:06and he lost the game, but it was cool. Yeah, no, it wasn't
02:03:10cool. All right. So we'll let the listeners vote. They have
02:03:11four to vote on. So we'll be given out, uh, after the
02:03:15listeners vote. All right. So the last three awards, PFT, you
02:03:19got, uh, one of them. Yeah. This is the preemptive take of
02:03:22the year award. So this is where we try to get out ahead of
02:03:25the story and call something way in the future. Yes. And I'm
02:03:29excited to see what you guys have because we don't know what
02:03:31each other's preemptive takes are. Yeah. So how do we want to
02:03:33start this? Who wants to start? Why don't we start with a memes
02:03:37and we'll go around and we'll end with Hank memes, your
02:03:40preemptive take of the year. All right. The 76 years will
02:03:44implode with Paul George. Okay. And Joel and bead will force
02:03:48himself to the Knicks. Wow. Okay. Wow. I mean, that'd be
02:03:52crazy if true. Okay. The 76 years will succeed with Paul
02:03:57George. Okay. And Joel and bead will win an Eastern
02:04:01conference finals MVP. Whoa. In a losing effort in a winning
02:04:06effort. Oh, okay. I'm not right. We're not ready to say. And so
02:04:09wait, wait, wait, wait. So what was your wildest dream in your
02:04:14wildest imagination? This isn't dream of the year. This is take
02:04:17of the dream of the year in your, in your wildest take the
02:04:21Sixers still lose in the finals. Correct. That's not what I said.
02:04:25Come in second place. That's not what I said. He could win
02:04:28both. I, but I said that he will win the Eastern conference
02:04:32finals MVP. I personally, if I thought they were going to win
02:04:34the whole thing, I would, I would start it there. Yeah.
02:04:36That's your, that could be your take. The Eastern conference
02:04:38finals MVP. Yeah. That's my take. Okay. Huey, the WNBA,
02:04:46okay. The finals of the WNBA specifically will have more
02:04:51ratings. We'll have the third most ratings in the fall. Wait,
02:04:55third, more ratings or third most third most in the fall, the
02:04:59season of fall. So behind the college football in the NFL,
02:05:02okay. There needs to be a third place. And WNBA finals will
02:05:06surpass the NBA opening will surpass the NHL. And it will be
02:05:10the third most watched sports series. It'll, it'll, it'll
02:05:15battle the world series and it will be third. Okay. I like
02:05:18that. Yeah. Who do you have in the final take? Uh, the Vegas
02:05:23aces are obviously Mrs. Plum and Mrs. Wilson and the other
02:05:27sides up, up in the air yet. Okay. Okay. Up in the air yet.
02:05:30I've noticed Huey adds words that don't need to be there.
02:05:33That's okay. And I love it. We need to up the word count of
02:05:35each podcast. We get paid by the word up in the air yet, yet
02:05:38doesn't need to be in there. He just, he just, it's like,
02:05:43almost like he's, he doesn't, he, he knows he's done talking,
02:05:47but he's like, let me just get one more in there. I fucking
02:05:50love it. All right, Shane, you got one? You got one? Take
02:05:54preemptive take. Am I rolling? Yeah. Um, Gus Edwards will lead
02:05:59the NFL in rushing touchdowns. Okay. Okay. What teams does he
02:06:03play for? He's on the charger. Oh, what's on your shirt? Also
02:06:06rookie of the year. What's on your shirt right now? What's
02:06:09what's your shirt say? What is your shirt shirt? I can't. Oh,
02:06:14it's a charger shirt. Oh, it's a junior sale. Okay. All right.
02:06:17Got it. Got it. It's the nicest outfit. Okay. All right,
02:06:20boys. Uh, my preemptive take of the year is that Taylor Swift
02:06:25and Travis are going to get engaged. Oh. And then she's
02:06:28going to put out a terrible album because she's happy and
02:06:32she doesn't have any boyfriends to complain about. And then all
02:06:35her fans are going to start to hate her because her music
02:06:38sucks because she's happy with her personal life. Wow. How
02:06:42about like it? I like it. Okay. Uh, my preemptive take of the
02:06:46year, I believe Henry Lockwood is going to dunk. Let's go.
02:06:55Not got not. I can't believe you fell for that. I believe.
02:07:02Okay. That's my preemptive take. Henry Lockwood's going to dunk
02:07:05not. That's improper English. Is it? There's a comment in
02:07:13there. Don't don't dunk. Not. No, I think you're going to be
02:07:16able to dunk. I really do. I actually do. I don't do psych
02:07:24Hank. My parents. Are you high right now? How high? I should
02:07:28rephrase that. How high? 0% high. I believe you're going to
02:07:31be able to dunk Hank. I just don't want to say thank you
02:07:33because I said thank you. I got nodded. What type of not was
02:07:36that PFT? It doesn't matter. I believe you're going to be able
02:07:40to dunk. Thank you. Psych. Yeah, that's fine. No, I actually
02:07:47do. I actually 100% believe you're going to dunk because
02:07:49you've been working out a lot. You've been training a lot.
02:07:52Thanks. Gotcha. All right. What's your preemptive take? It
02:07:59wouldn't be the most shocking thing if you did. No, I think
02:08:02it's opposite day. Yeah. Okay. What's your preemptive take? My
02:08:07preemptive take of the year is that Drake May and New England
02:08:10Patriots are going to have more combined wins than the Washington
02:08:16football team and Chicago Bears combined combined. That is the
02:08:21craziest thing. That's wild Hank. That's wild. How many wins?
02:08:27Seven. So we're going to have six combined more equal. So
02:08:32maybe one has four, one has three. That's wild. That's wild
02:08:36take Hank. Would you like to wager on that? No, I'm already
02:08:39in pretty deep with PFT so I'm just going to. Yeah, oh that's
02:08:42right. Sometimes I forget. I feel like I'm a bad gambler and
02:08:46then I remember that Hank is going to owe me what $20,000?
02:08:49I think it's $50,000. $50,000. No, you're going to owe me $50,000.
02:08:54Yeah, I'm already going to be up $20,000. I think it was $50,000
02:08:56to $30,000 or $50,000 to $30,000 so I think you might owe me $30,000.
02:08:59No, well it wasn't that. If the Patriots don't make the Super
02:09:03Bowl in how many years now? I think it was $50,000 to $10,000.
02:09:04I think it was five years but a year has passed. There's no way
02:09:07I gave you $50,000 to $30,000. So it's four more years. Four
02:09:10more years. Yeah, it's like there's always money in the
02:09:13bananas. I got it. I'm rich. I'm going to be so rich in four
02:09:16years. They're going to make a Super Bowl in the next four
02:09:18years. Easy. Easy. You love Drake May. I actually do. Yeah,
02:09:24I know. I've seen the t-shirt. You should release that.
02:09:30Okay, quick break from the takeys for the rollback question.
02:09:34Rollback question for memes and pug because you guys are
02:09:37sitting here with me and we forgot to do the rollback
02:09:40question but now we're here. Rollback question for memes and
02:09:43pugs. How is the editing of the takeys going? It's a great time.
02:09:47It's a great time. Yeah, it's just so many fun awards. I
02:09:52don't know which one's my favorite pug. Okay, nice job
02:09:55pug memes. Yeah, it's a great time. Lots of fun. We're
02:09:58watching Jerry. Guess some states. Okay. Alright. So
02:10:02rollback.com. We love the people at rollback. They're one
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02:10:22first purchase. That was the rollback question. 20% off your
02:10:26first purchase. Rollback.com. RHOBACK.com and now back to the
02:10:31takeys. Okay, it's time for one of the most important awards we
02:10:37give away every single year at the takeys. It is Blake of the
02:10:43year time. So, here's what we're doing. We've done a many
02:10:47different ways uh for people who are listening to their
02:10:49first takeys. Blake of the year is uh Blake Griffin, Blake
02:10:54Bortles, and we've added Brooks Koepka probably 5 years ago. He
02:10:58is a Blake. Uh I don't know what the exact stats are. I
02:11:01believe Blake Griffin is a three-time winner. I think it's
02:11:05Blake Bortles has two. Yeah, two. And Brooks has sadly. Zero.
02:11:09Can't win the big one. He has zero. So, we've done it every
02:11:12single way. We've we've we've done it uh first to answer the
02:11:15phone call. We've done trivia. We did the famous lottery ball
02:11:20year which was painful and I'm shocked that these guys even
02:11:23still uh return our text messages. This year, we're
02:11:26going old school with a new school twist. It's gonna be
02:11:29similar to the phone call. The first to answer the phone won
02:11:33uh previous Blake of the years. This year, we're gonna do a Zoom
02:11:37link. So, I've told all three Blake's a window and it's
02:11:42we're in the window right now. They're in all different parts
02:11:45of the world. Blake Brooks is in the UK. Blake Griffin is in LA.
02:11:50Uh Blake Bortles is in Florida. When I texted them asking them
02:11:54what their availability was uh Brooks said he's playing in a
02:11:57golf tournament in England. Mm hmm. Blake Griffin said that
02:12:00he's got uh some meetings and **** that he's gotta attend to
02:12:03and Blake Bortles said he has absolutely nothing. So, Blake
02:12:06Bortles seems like he would be the betting favorite right now
02:12:09but Brooks Koepka not on the course now though. Not on the
02:12:12course but Blake Bortles also probably not the most
02:12:15technologically savvy. So, Blake Griffin feels like he
02:12:18could be the leader in that respect. So, Blake definitely
02:12:21has practiced. Yeah. He's like opened up his own. He's made
02:12:24made sure that the app is uh is up to date. Yeah. That it's the
02:12:27most current version. Uh Bortles might be kinda lounging
02:12:31around but he might have more technical difficulties just
02:12:34accessing the app. Correct. He might not even have the app
02:12:36downloaded. Okay. And now, how are we judging? Is it first to
02:12:39show? We're screen recording so we'll have it exactly right if
02:12:42they both show up at the same time. We'll figure it out but
02:12:45it's first to to join and we have to hear them and see them,
02:12:48correct? They have to connect to video and audio. Yes. So,
02:12:51once they join, if they're, if their video is on the screen
02:12:55and we can't hear them, doesn't count. Now, are we allowed to
02:12:58tell them we can't hear you? Yeah. Okay. Shane, are you, if
02:13:03Shane is listening, can you, can you say something real quick
02:13:05just so the people know. Check, check, check, check. There we
02:13:08go. Okay. So, that that way that the people know it's not
02:13:11on our end. Right. Shane is able to connect to video and
02:13:14audio right now. Memes. Question. Uh Blake Bortles is a
02:13:18three times. Three times. Three times. Three three. Three
02:13:21three zero. Wow. Wow. Either one will either one will win the
02:13:25best of seven or one will break the the dreaded streak. Get the
02:13:29monkey off the bat. Yes. So, uh I'm texting all three right
02:13:33this second. I'm saying first person to connect to video and
02:13:37audio on the Zoom wins Blake of the year. Wins Blake of the
02:13:42year 2024. I told them all to even if they don't win, if they
02:13:46feel like they didn't win, they should still try to connect
02:13:47cuz we'd like to see them all. Uh big cat real quick sidebar.
02:13:50I know we just laid out the entire rules and we planned this
02:13:52whole thing out. Is it more of a Blake move to not be able to
02:13:55connect? No, no, no, no. We we maybe next year we'll do that
02:13:59wrinkle but I've already set this up. If it was a hell of a
02:14:02time setting up three different time zones. When I
02:14:05thought about it, Blake's probably not like ready to go.
02:14:08We still also next year, next year, we're golfing or doing
02:14:11something. Next year, we're getting them all three
02:14:13together. We'll figure it out. I want to get them all three
02:14:15together. Okay, here we go. First person to connect uh to
02:14:19video and audio on the Zoom wins Blake of the year 2024
02:14:22with the Zoom link sent. Oh my god. Okay. What if they, what
02:14:28if they, all of them just don't join and we just sit here. If
02:14:31the Blake's unionized, oh, we have somebody. No, no. That was
02:14:35so fast. No way. It says BG. No way. Oh my god. Oh my god. Can
02:14:43we hear him? Hello? Oh,
02:14:48let's go. You are literally waiting in bed. Oh, we got
02:14:53another one. Oh no. Here comes Blake Portals. This is going to
02:14:56be heartbreaking for him. Oh. Can't wait to talk **** about
02:15:00my Wi-Fi. Oh, and I think I'm wearing the Blake of the year.
02:15:03I think Brooks might have tried to join just now too. Oh my
02:15:06god. Oh, what's up? What's up, Blake? Oh, my Wi-Fi is too
02:15:12**** good. Oh no. And now, I'm not going to lie, boys. I had
02:15:17my uh my Wi-Fi guy come out this morning. We took the
02:15:19restrictor plate off this bad boy. Not exactly street legal
02:15:23but uh was it worth it? That was crazy fast. That was
02:15:28insanely fast. Wait, is Brooks joined or no? No, Brooks is
02:15:32you might just not. Brooks is just the bad luck guy for
02:15:35every single every single year. Blake, I. Portals, we got
02:15:38some, we got some beef to settle, man. You're out on the
02:15:40street saying I'm cheating out here. Oh. Dude, it's these
02:15:44restrictor placing your Wi-Fi. **** you. These catalytic
02:15:47converters you're swiping. So, wait. Listen, man. Uh. Not not
02:15:51street legal but uh it's uh it's worth it. That was crazy.
02:15:55You joined so fast because we've been taping this whole
02:15:58thing. You'll you'll be able to watch it back. I went to the
02:16:01chat to check to make sure I was like it was going to be in
02:16:03this thread and that it came through. Yeah. So, portals, are
02:16:07you out on your porch right now? Yeah, I've been sitting
02:16:10here for what time is it? An hour. Probably. Three minutes.
02:16:14Probably pretty far away from your router. Oh, no. And do you
02:16:17know this is Blake Portals. I I I feel bad saying this to you.
02:16:22You guys probably aware of this but did you know it was
02:16:25three three until today? No. Yeah. Is that what the record
02:16:31was? Yes. You have, you are a three-time Blake of the Year
02:16:33winner. Blake Griffin is now a four-time Blake of the Year
02:16:36winner. And Brooks. He might not even join this call. Yeah.
02:16:45This is tough look for Brooks. I'll tell you what, having your
02:16:48notifications on extra loud for an hour is very annoying. Yeah.
02:16:53That was that was actually shocking how fast you joined
02:16:56because we had a moment when we set the whole thing up. We're
02:16:59like, what if what if none of these guys joined for like a
02:17:02half hour and we're just sitting here like **** **** just
02:17:06being like, will anyone join? Holy **** I got a tough
02:17:09question for the two of you since Brooks isn't on the chat
02:17:12yet. Um. Mm. Has has the word relegation been thrown around
02:17:15in regards to Brooks Koepka? It's an interesting question. If
02:17:20I knew what that meant, I would 100% have an opinion.
02:17:24Okay. Like relegated. Oh, we're going to relegate him down to
02:17:27the to the division two. Back to the Brooks League. Yeah.
02:17:30Yeah. Drop him down to Brooks. I don't know. I mean, I feel
02:17:34like that's up to you guys. I don't know if if that's a
02:17:36Blake's call. Uh I'll I'll say this in Brooks defense. Um he
02:17:41is probably at the biggest disadvantage because he's in
02:17:43England and he said that he's at a remote place that has like
02:17:46very bad Wi-Fi. Um. Mm. I think he just needs to quit the
02:17:49live tour and focus on Blake of the year. Yeah, if he was
02:17:53serious about it, I guess, you know. Yeah. Um Blake Griffin,
02:17:57do you want to say anything? You want to acceptance speech?
02:17:59I mean, this is one of the biggest takey awards that we
02:18:01give out every year. Um yeah, I mean, honestly, dude, I Blake,
02:18:07you can probably attest to this but everywhere I go, somebody
02:18:10yells Blake of the year. Somebody yells Blake of the
02:18:13year. Um so, I mean, this is a big, this is a huge award and
02:18:16and it's uh it means a lot to to all of us. Some of us, it
02:18:20means a little bit more. Uh I guess Brooks doesn't really
02:18:23care but you know what? I'm just, I'm just happy to take it
02:18:27home this year. Great competition all around. Yeah.
02:18:29Yeah and I feel like this is a dynasty for you too. Yeah. Yeah,
02:18:33now I get to do the Klay Thompson thing all the time and
02:18:35hold up four. Yeah. Yeah. This is, are you bad for Blake's?
02:18:38Are you so good at Blake of the year? It might be, it might be
02:18:42bad for Blake's. Wait, who won last year? Bortles did. Oh yeah.
02:18:46So, okay. So, this is, there's parody in this league still. Is
02:18:50it over? Was it best of seven?
02:18:55Please god. We just gotta keep going. So, uh Blake Portals,
02:19:02what do you, I mean, I I said the, I said beforehand uh
02:19:06before we sent out the Zoom link that the text messages when
02:19:09I sent you guys setting this all up was very funny because
02:19:12Brooks was like, I'm playing in a golf tournament and Blake
02:19:15Griffin was like, I have some things going on and you're like,
02:19:18I literally have nothing. So, what what what is you gonna do
02:19:22to change uh in this off season because I mean you you just
02:19:26have to give up the award and now you have a whole year to
02:19:28think about it. Yeah and it's especially a tough look when I
02:19:32had nothing going on and I couldn't have joined. I
02:19:35couldn't have joined any sooner and I join and you guys are in
02:19:39Blake or just in a full conversation already. It's not
02:19:41even like you're still trying to figure it out and connect.
02:19:44He was already in. Um so I think I'm gonna have to start
02:19:46packing the schedule a little bit and change things up. Yeah,
02:19:49that'd be heartbreaking. That's a good idea and also in in
02:19:51Brooks's defense, he's the only one that still has like a
02:19:53current job. True. That they work at. So, a little bit busy.
02:19:58True. Both you guys nod. Yeah. Yeah. I can't wait to make the
02:20:05the part of my take movie and we get the actor from Clipped to
02:20:08play Blake Bortles. Yes. Blake Griffin. Blake Griffin. Yeah.
02:20:10We'll get uh Sam Houser's brother to play Bortles. Yeah.
02:20:13Yeah. Um I know we say this every year but next year we
02:20:17have to get everyone together. We're gonna do it. I I feel
02:20:20like we're gonna do it. We gotta get you back out at Tahoe
02:20:22Blake Bortles. Yeah, I got dropped from that roster pretty
02:20:26quickly. Did you play out there Blake? I did. Day one was. How
02:20:30awesome was that? It was so fun. Brutal day one and then I
02:20:34would do I was like shaking over my practice putts. Dude,
02:20:37it's terrifying. And then day two, day two and three. Oh,
02:20:39terrifying. The people lined up on on the tee box. It's like,
02:20:43what are we doing, guys? Um and then day two and three, I
02:20:46played a little bit better but I I you know, I had no
02:20:48aspirations of winning. It was. Yeah. Strictly go out there and
02:20:52don't be last. Luckily, A-Rod, Miles Teller, were out there. I
02:20:58heard you saw a bear too. Uh dude, I was I was ten feet from
02:21:02a bear. Yeah. I I look over and I hear something in the tree
02:21:06and I look over and there's bears. It's like bear hugging
02:21:09this tree and he's just looking around it at me. Yeah. And and
02:21:12Max, I I was like, Max, go get the bear and then that woman
02:21:15was was like, hey, you probably shouldn't do that. Yeah, I went
02:21:18to go over towards the bear and there was people working there
02:21:21and they were like, don't go near, don't go near that bear.
02:21:23Don't go near that bear. Very aggressive. Yeah, apparently,
02:21:26it was like a mama bear with like three cubs and you don't
02:21:29wanna get in the mama bear's way. No. That's how we feel
02:21:31about the Blakes. Yeah. Don't **** with him. Yeah. I don't
02:21:35think I don't think he's gonna join. No, I don't think he's
02:21:38gonna join. I think he's asleep. It is like 10 PM. It is
02:21:41late there. Yeah. It's 10 PM and he's got a golf round the
02:21:44next day. What we're gonna say. What was your what was your
02:21:47best round Blake? Uh I think I I mean I'm not good. I think I
02:21:51shot a eighty-four day two maybe. It's pretty good.
02:21:54Respectable. With people watching out there. It's a lot.
02:21:57Having to make every putt. There's how how tough are like
02:22:01the two footers that everybody's normally like yeah
02:22:03you're good and you still gotta putt those. Yeah. They're
02:22:07terrible. One of the first times I played in and my dad
02:22:09caddy for me the first day and after like the fourth time I
02:22:12missed an eighteen inch putt he just stopped. Yeah somebody
02:22:17somebody had a crowd come carry this bag. Uh Blake I caddied
02:22:22for Blake Griffin for uh like probably four or five holes and
02:22:26I got a new golf term for you uh that I'd never seen on the
02:22:29golf course. Blake Griffin shot a shot that went like I don't
02:22:33know 100 feet into the woods and the guy we were playing
02:22:37with was like that was the great shape of that shot. I
02:22:40don't even know what the **** that means but it was it
02:22:43sounded nice. It was a terrible shot. It wasn't like 100 yards
02:22:47in the feet in the woods. It was like 70, 70, 80 tops. But
02:22:51it was great shape. It was pretty. Can you imagine the
02:22:56shape on that thing? I was like I just turned him I was like
02:22:58what the **** does that mean? You that was a bad shot. But
02:23:03yeah Blake Griffin can can **** bomb the ball. I watched
02:23:06it. It's get you back out to uh Tahoe next year and we'll do
02:23:11like a little we should do a little Blake thing out there.
02:23:13Yeah. Maybe that's we we do Blake of the year right before
02:23:15the tournament. Yeah. Brooks. Make him make him make him
02:23:19Paris together at least one day. Oh. Yeah. Yeah. That would
02:23:22be incredible. Brooks has to play lefty. I think Brooks
02:23:25might still win. Yeah. Brooks probably is like oh I got a
02:23:28whole job. Yeah probably. I'm making like. Me no. How about
02:23:31me and me and Bortles scramble. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Versus me and
02:23:35PFT. And we play from like the uh forward team. Yeah. Mm hmm.
02:23:40Yeah. I think yeah. You guys could that that would
02:23:43definitely level it out. And then between the two of you
02:23:45it's whoever whoever you take more shots from. Oh. So then
02:23:49there's also competition between the two of you. Yeah.
02:23:52Oh okay yeah. I like that. Oh. Good. That was good. Alright.
02:23:55Was that Max? Yeah that was Max. Dude. Just dialing assassin
02:23:59over there. Can't see him but. Yeah he's in the booth. Great
02:24:02idea. Yeah. There he is. Back here just producing back here
02:24:05is all. Yeah. We got a new we got a new intern Huey there
02:24:09too. He's uh he's a Pistons fan actually Blake. Uh hey sorry
02:24:14Huey. Yeah no shit. Sorry buddy. Oh shit. Okay. You know
02:24:18what? Yeah. Fuck you Huey. Chicago. Yeah by the way since
02:24:23since I left they've been doing great. Congratulations man.
02:24:26Thank you. Thank you.
02:24:29Uh Huey do you want to tell Blake about your idea for uh
02:24:32for a sitcom? I have a TV pilot coming out one day. Oh yeah
02:24:35Blake you should buy this. You'll love this. It's about two
02:24:38brothers uh one named Carmelo the other Anthony uh born in
02:24:42Denver Colorado a couple days before you know who gets traded
02:24:45to the Knicks and their dad grows up their whole life
02:24:50resenting them you know because they're named Carmelo and
02:24:53Anthony and I can tell you're not going with it. Yeah. Dude
02:24:58if you could just throw that in an email uh I'll I'll put my
02:25:00email in the chat. You just you just shoot that over to me and
02:25:03I'll get that in front of my people ASAP. Thanks. Thank you.
02:25:07Way to abort there. That was a good. That was way to read the
02:25:09room Huey. You didn't get to the part about a new kid named
02:25:13Nicola. Yeah. Oh man. Alright. Well thank you both Blakes. You
02:25:19guys are the best. We love you. Uh Blake Griffin. Congratulations.
02:25:23You have a full year as Blake of the year. The trophy's back
02:25:27in your house. I feel like we gotta make new shirts. Yeah.
02:25:29Doing the Klay Thompson. Four rings on there. Yeah. Yeah.
02:25:34Okay. Well. Thank you boys. Appreciate it. Congrats Blake.
02:25:39Thanks guys. He's pissed. I'm stoked for you man. I'm so
02:25:43**** excited. Thanks man. Really really felt genuine.
02:25:48Yeah. I'm happy for you. Enjoy these 12 months. Alright. See
02:25:53you boys. Alright. See ya. Later. Oh and that's Blake of
02:25:57the year. Our favorite our favorite uh award that we give
02:26:02out. I love it. I I it broke my heart to see the look on Blake
02:26:05Bortles. I know. But that was. He wanted it. That was a
02:26:08thrilling way to do it. You're never gonna say that Blake
02:26:10Bortles didn't wanna win this one. Yeah. Holy **** He's so
02:26:14fast. Blake Griffin. What was the time on that? I would I
02:26:17would estimate it to be under 10 seconds. Yeah. It was that
02:26:20fast and I I did now I did give him a three-hour window. I was
02:26:23like here's the three-hour window because they're busy
02:26:25guys. Yeah. But still, I mean, I do feel bad because Blake
02:26:29Bortles, like he said, he'd been just sitting there for an
02:26:31hour waiting and still wasn't able to do it. I mean,
02:26:36congrats. It's it's tough to beat greatness. Yeah. And what
02:26:39we're witnessing right now is greatness. Four-time Blake of
02:26:42the Year winner. Alright, we have one last award PFT and we
02:26:46should just give it out ourselves. Okay. Um it's a
02:26:50podcast listeners of the year award. Pretty important award.
02:26:54There's a lot of good podcasts out there and a lot of great
02:26:56podcast listeners. Yeah, so you wanna do the nominees? Uh
02:26:59yeah, the nominees are uh the hardcore historians. Okay.
02:27:04Listen to Dan Carlin. Yup. I've got them on the list. Uh the
02:27:07politicking fans. Mm. I don't know. What do we call those
02:27:10guys? Marshawn Lynch, Gavin Newsom, Marshawn Lynch's agent
02:27:14who's known Gavin Newsom for years. Yup. He started working
02:27:16on this podcast 6 months ago. Um the politicking fans. Yup.
02:27:20And then the AWLs of part of my take. Oh wow. Oh wow. So who
02:27:26won? I don't think politicking is out yet. Okay. So I had to
02:27:30cross that one off the list. Should we do a drum roll? We
02:27:34can do a drum roll. Okay. Hughie, you wanna announce the
02:27:39winner? No, he said no. Smart. This is no. Memes, do you wanna
02:27:45announce the winner? No memes, you can't. I, no. Yeah, do it.
02:27:51Do it. Who won podcast of the year? The listeners. The award
02:27:56winning listeners of part of my take. A nine P. A nine P. Nine.
02:28:03Nine. Nine. Nine. Nine. Update those files. Incredible run.
02:28:09You run out of fingers. Jason Pierre Paul can't count the
02:28:13amount of times that you've won AWL. I thought this year was
02:28:16gonna be politicking for real. Politicking next year. I'm I'm
02:28:19looking in my rearview mirror if I'm the AWS right now. Yes. So
02:28:22uh thank you to the AWLs. We've say it a million times but I
02:28:26feel like I could say it every show. Uh we live a dream life.
02:28:30We have the best job ever and it's because you guys listen to
02:28:33this show. Like we wouldn't be able to do this if you weren't
02:28:36as uh dedicated to us through ups and downs. Sometimes you
02:28:41hate us. Sometimes you love us. Most of the time you hate Hank.
02:28:44Hank's not even here. That's fine. So that's fine. So listen
02:28:47to you get the award. Yeah at the end of every episode I say
02:28:50love you guys. I truly mean that I love you guys. Thank you so
02:28:53much. Uh it means the world to Big Cat, me, Hank, everybody in
02:28:57the booth. We really really sincerely appreciate because
02:29:00there's a bunch of podcasts out there. You don't have to listen
02:29:03to us. Yup. You've got other options and you choose to and
02:29:06it means so much to us. So sincerely thank you from the
02:29:09bottom of our hearts and we love you guys. And it's also one
02:29:11of those things that nine times it's crazy uh looking back
02:29:15because I don't know if you feel the same way. It feels like
02:29:18we've been doing this podcast for like five minutes because I
02:29:21I don't know. It's like just time goes so fast when you're
02:29:24having you know the time of your life. Um but if you had
02:29:28told me PFT Hank when we're sitting in your Austin
02:29:32apartment or house excuse me I don't want to say it was a
02:29:35house. It was a row house. It was a row house. If you told us
02:29:37when we were doing the test episode back in 2016 uh that we
02:29:43would have this type of success and we'd be doing it for nine
02:29:46years or eight years but nine times for the takeys uh I'd be
02:29:50like there's no **** way. There's just I mean I I think
02:29:52we're we can do it but I don't think that we're gonna reach
02:29:55these heights. We had that. I've told this story. We had
02:29:58that moment when we were driving from the Arizona Bowl
02:30:01back to uh Scottsdale and we like we it was just two of us in
02:30:05the car and we're like what would have happened if we
02:30:08didn't do this podcast and it was a scary scary thought. It's
02:30:11crazy. I think it's you know probably the best the best
02:30:14decision uh at least in terms of our work of our lives. Yeah.
02:30:19And um and it really is like it's freaky sometimes to think
02:30:23that there's so many people that listen to every episode.
02:30:25Yeah. I try not to think about that as we're recording but when
02:30:29I do have a moment where I get to sit back and think about it.
02:30:31I it makes me just very very thankful for all you guys. Yeah.
02:30:34Yeah. Um it's it's like I said you've got a choice and uh the
02:30:38fact that you choose us means a lot. Yeah. Thank you. It's
02:30:41immense gratitude uh that I don't think we can act. We
02:30:44can't accurately convey it uh other than what we're saying
02:30:47right now but like what we're saying right now is a very
02:30:50small part of the gratitude we feel. Mm hmm. So um what are
02:30:53you guys in the booth? Anything to for the AWLs? Great
02:30:57year. Uh yeah great year. I've only obviously been here for
02:31:01two. This is my second takey since I've been on but every
02:31:05year I meet more and more of you guys and it's a great time
02:31:08every time I meet you and I'm really grateful that you guys
02:31:11have given me this life and I truly truly do love you guys
02:31:15like BFT always says. Yeah. Memes. Uh I took some time to
02:31:21reflect last week uh when you let me ask some questions
02:31:25there in Rogers. Uh I'm very appreciative of everybody on
02:31:28the show and all the people that listen. Uh I was working
02:31:31in accounts receivable three years ago. It's crazy. And if
02:31:35my entire life changed. So, thank you to everybody who
02:31:37listens. Yeah. Mm hmm. Yeah, I mean, I'm obviously the newest
02:31:41one here.
02:31:45It's been a week. Uh the people have been awesome. Uh
02:31:48they've been really supportive and nice and they seem to be
02:31:51very, you know, very excited for the future and you know,
02:31:53willing to hear out everything I got to say and. Yeah. Yeah,
02:31:57they just seem like great people and uh really, I'm
02:31:59excited to work for them and work my ass off for them. Yeah.
02:32:02Yeah. It's uh the we have the best fans in the world. It's
02:32:05not even close. I I'll put our fans up against anyone else
02:32:08any day of the week. Um I know there's some other podcasts
02:32:11that have added some strong fan bases. Mm hmm. Still would
02:32:14take the AWLs over that. Oh, an internet war? Oh. 100%. Yeah.
02:32:17Especially since her next album's gonna stink. Yes,
02:32:20exactly. She's too hot naming names. She's too happy. The
02:32:23thing about me and Big Cat is we're always upset. Yes. So,
02:32:26uh there's always something to gripe about for people to
02:32:28identify with except actually now we might be entering phase
02:32:31two of part of my take where me and Big Cat have elite
02:32:33quarterbacks. Yeah, true. Come real **** Actually, yeah, we
02:32:37might be going down the the we're too happy. This might be
02:32:40when it when it when the whole podcast just submarines because
02:32:42everyone's like we don't wanna listen to winners all the time.
02:32:45Yep. Yep. So, at least with Chiefs fans when they listen to
02:32:48us and if they think that we're doubting Patrick Mahomes or
02:32:51their team, they can at least take solace in the fact that
02:32:53they win something but if our teams win. Yeah. Then, everyone
02:32:56else is gonna be like, **** you guys. Uh but we sincerely thank
02:32:59you very very much. Thank you for listening to Takey Awards
02:33:02and we really love you guys. Yeah. So, uh let's finish up
02:33:05with uh numbers. Okay, great takies boys. Congrats again to
02:33:10the AWLs. Nine in a row. Hank, what do you think? Proud. Proud.
02:33:15They did it. Proud. Are you wearing those glasses upside
02:33:18down now? He's high. No. I'm not high. Why do you think I'm
02:33:22high? Uh incredible takies. I love doing this uh the takies
02:33:27awards every single year. So much fun. And and we do give
02:33:31the you know, the award-winning listeners a lot of credit and
02:33:34every year, I think we say on the show but we really do love
02:33:36you. Thank you very much for listening. Yes. We appreciate
02:33:39you guys are the best people in the world. We need to do a
02:33:41better job for next year's takies of figuring out the
02:33:44takies as they happen in real time. Who's gonna be in charge
02:33:47of that? Cuz every year, we do the same thing. I'm gonna be
02:33:50all over it. Oh, hell yeah. All over it. No, but you're you're
02:33:53gonna inject it with pro Philly. No, I'm not. Alright. No,
02:33:56that's good. You and memes. It's a combo. Yeah. Because we we
02:33:59do do this every single year where we get to the takies and
02:34:02then like a day before we're like, wait, what happened this
02:34:05last year? Yeah. But we pulled it together. I think we had
02:34:07some great winners. Congrats to all the winners. Uh and let's
02:34:12go to numbers. Fifty-six. Twenty. Forty-two. Love that.
02:34:17Nine. This would be great if you know, can't win the big one.
02:34:20Just immediately got a race. Yeah. But you admit you can't
02:34:23win the big one. Eight. No. Um let's pick one for the AWLs
02:34:28just just for fun. They can have mine. No. Three. What
02:34:32what should we pick for the AWL? Nine. Nine. Nine. I picked
02:34:35nine. Oh. But they can have it. They can have. I'll give him
02:34:37eleven. No no no. They got nine. It's gonna be. Hank, new
02:34:40number. Hank, new number. Seventeen. Three. Pug. Shane.
02:34:48Pug. Ninety-nine Pug. Twenty-one. Same again in order
02:34:53of memes go around the room. Three. Twenty. Forty-two.
02:34:57Ninety-nine Pug. Twenty-one. Eight. Fifty-six. Seventeen.
02:35:03AWLs have nine.
02:35:14Fifteen. Damn.
02:35:18My homes. Love you guys.