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00:00This programme contains strong language and adult humour.
00:05APPLAUSE
00:31Well, good afternoon and welcome to the Countdown Studio.
00:34Who doesn't like a good pun?
00:36I've got a cousin, Rachel. He never stops.
00:39But none are as good as the couple that I've got for you.
00:42The headlines, actually, it's lovely.
00:44When the Dalai Lama met President Obama at the White House,
00:47the headline was, Obama Lama Ding Dong.
00:50LAUGHTER
00:52And the story about underdog Caledonian Thistle beating Celtic 3-1,
00:58the headline was, Super Caligo Ballistic Celtic Are Atrocious.
01:03Aw!
01:05They spent hours knocking that one out in the newsroom,
01:08I'm sure, and the sports desk.
01:10I can't recall any, actually. Have you got any?
01:12There are some great puns out there in shop names, aren't there?
01:15I've seen Florist Gump. That's a good one.
01:17Near me there used to be a hairdresser's called Blondeye Beach.
01:20Bill Bailey talks about a butcher's called Halal.
01:23Is it meat you're looking for?
01:25LAUGHTER
01:27That's brilliant.
01:28In the news last year, there was a family, the Sings,
01:31were sued by a certain supermarket
01:33because they called their shop Singsbury's.
01:36So they then changed it to Morrisings.
01:38LAUGHTER
01:40That's superb. That's lovely.
01:42We've got two new contestants with us.
01:44We've got Paul Harper. Welcome, Paul.
01:46Thank you, Nick.
01:47Finance officer from Manchester, big Burnley fan.
01:50For my sins, I am, yes.
01:52There's something about Burnley. It's got a lot of famous supporters.
01:55For a small club, it sort of punches in name recognition above its weight.
02:00It's a very local team
02:02and all the people in the town come out to support the club,
02:06so it's very popular locally.
02:09So they should.
02:10You're very welcome here, Paul.
02:12You're joined by James Forrest, an insurance broker from Morecambe.
02:15That's right, Nick.
02:16You've been off football coaching.
02:18Hawaii, California, Arizona.
02:21Yeah.
02:22What's it like?
02:23It's brilliant, yeah. It's the time of my life.
02:25Not much money, but it's really, really enjoyable, yeah.
02:28You've picked some choice spots.
02:30Hawaii, what was that like?
02:31Amazing.
02:32Just everything you think when you look on postcards and stuff,
02:35it looks even better in real life, yeah.
02:37California and Arizona. Brilliant stuff.
02:41Let's have a big round of applause then for Paul and James.
02:44Welcome to you both.
02:45APPLAUSE
02:47Welcome to you both.
02:49Over in the corner, Suzie's back. Of course she is.
02:52And so is the wonderful Adrian Charles, TV and radio presenter.
02:55Welcome back, Adrian.
02:56Thank you very much.
02:57APPLAUSE
03:02Lots to come from Adrian, but now it's business time, Paul.
03:07Letters game.
03:08OK.
03:09Afternoon, Rachel.
03:10Afternoon, Paul.
03:11I'll start with a consonant, if I could, please.
03:13Thank you. Start today with C.
03:16A vowel.
03:18U.
03:21Consonant, please.
03:23P.
03:25Vowel.
03:27A.
03:29Second vowel.
03:31O.
03:33Consonant.
03:35N.
03:37Consonant.
03:39B.
03:42Vowel.
03:44U.
03:46And I'll finish with a consonant, please.
03:50And finish with T.
03:52And here's the countdown clock.
04:17CLOCK TICKS
04:25Yes, Paul?
04:27A six there, Nick.
04:29A six. And James?
04:31May as well try a seven. I don't think it's right, though.
04:34Paul?
04:35Toucan.
04:36A toucan.
04:38James?
04:39Occupant.
04:41Two Cs. Yeah, I'm sorry.
04:43The only other one out is a five.
04:45All right. Toucan.
04:47Adrian?
04:48I couldn't do any better than toucan.
04:50It always distracts me if the first three letters come up in a word.
04:54So as soon as cop came up, I'd had it then.
04:57I couldn't think beyond cop. I would stop on cop.
05:00So if you could not do that again, please, everybody,
05:03that would help me out greatly.
05:05Be helpful, all right. Six points to Paul.
05:07Now, then, it's James's shot. Thank you, James.
05:10Afternoon, Rachel. Afternoon, James.
05:12Have a consonant, please.
05:13Thank you. Start with L.
05:15And a vowel, please.
05:17E.
05:18And a consonant.
05:20S.
05:22And another consonant.
05:24W.
05:26And a vowel.
05:28A.
05:30And another vowel.
05:32E.
05:34And a consonant.
05:35D.
05:37And another consonant.
05:39T.
05:41And a final vowel, please.
05:43And a final A.
05:45Stand by.
06:11MUSIC STOPS
06:17Well, James?
06:18Seven.
06:19A seven. Paul?
06:21Seven also.
06:22James?
06:23Weaseled.
06:24Weaseled.
06:26Sweated.
06:27And sweated.
06:29Um...
06:31Yes.
06:33Um, weaseled, unfortunately, it's got two Ls in it.
06:37The US spelling is with one.
06:40It's an excellent verb as well.
06:42To achieve something by cunning.
06:44Sorry about that.
06:46OK, and in the corner, Susie and Adrian?
06:49Sweated.
06:50Yeah, for seven, it's about all we've come up with.
06:53Yeah.
06:54OK, Paul, your numbers game.
06:56Let's get on with this one.
06:58I'll just have one large and five small, please, Rachel.
07:01Thank you, Paul. One from the top, five little.
07:04The first one of the day, and they are...
07:06..one, six, two, three, five,
07:11and the large one, 100.
07:13And the target, 390.
07:153-9-0.
07:36MUSIC PLAYS
07:47Well, Paul?
07:483-9-0, Nick.
07:503-9-0, and James?
07:523-9-0, not written down.
07:54So, tell us about it, James.
07:56So, you do...
07:59So, 3 plus 1 is 4.
08:02Yeah.
08:03Times 100.
08:04400.
08:05And, by the way, the, er...
08:09..six...
08:11..and the...
08:13I think you've gone wrong on this.
08:15Yeah.
08:16Bad luck. Let's turn to Paul.
08:18Mr Harper.
08:19I got the 400 the same way.
08:21Yes.
08:22And then five times two is ten.
08:24It is indeed.
08:25And just deduct it.
08:26390. Lovely.
08:27OK.
08:31So, 23, James yet to score.
08:33And for that, though, let's have a tea-time teaser.
08:36It's pretty moot, and the clue...
08:38There are no eyes in the word, but lots in the occupation.
08:42There are no eyes in the word, but lots in the occupation.
09:00Welcome back. I left with the clue...
09:02There are no eyes in the word, but lots in the occupation,
09:05being optometry.
09:08Optometry.
09:11Now, if you'd like to become a Countdown contestant,
09:14you can email countdown at channel4.com
09:17to request an application form
09:19or write to us at contestantsapplications,
09:22countdownleads, ls31js.
09:28Yes, James. Let us go.
09:30Another consonant, please, Rachel.
09:32Thank you, James. S.
09:34And another one.
09:36R.
09:37And a vowel.
09:39E.
09:41And a consonant.
09:43K.
09:45And a vowel.
09:47E.
09:49And another consonant.
09:51G.
09:53And another consonant, please.
09:55S.
09:57And a vowel.
09:59O.
10:01And a final consonant, please.
10:04And a final P.
10:06Stand by.
10:29MUSIC
10:38Well, James?
10:40Just a five.
10:41A five. Paul?
10:42A six.
10:44No, James.
10:45A geeks.
10:47And...?
10:48A spokes.
10:50Thank you.
10:51Yep, spokes of a wheel. Very good.
10:53Can we match or get beyond that, I wonder?
10:56Well, we've got reposes.
10:58Yep, reposes was our best.
11:00Reposes.
11:02Reposes. Now, Paul, your letters game.
11:05I'll start with a consonant, please.
11:08Thank you, Paul. Y.
11:11Another consonant.
11:13H.
11:14Vowel, please.
11:16E.
11:18Vowel.
11:19U.
11:22Third vowel.
11:24A.
11:26Consonant.
11:27T.
11:28Consonant.
11:30G.
11:32Consonant.
11:34N.
11:36And a finish with a vowel, please.
11:38And finish with E.
11:41Countdown.
11:43MUSIC
11:57MUSIC
12:14Well, Paul?
12:15Just a five.
12:17A five. James?
12:18Five.
12:19Paul?
12:20Agent.
12:21And...?
12:22Tangy.
12:23Tangy?
12:24Yes. Very good.
12:25Very good, isn't it?
12:27But a five. Can we beat five?
12:29Adrian, Susie?
12:31Our best was tunage.
12:33I beg your pardon?
12:34Yes, well, that's what we thought, but tunage.
12:37Yes, DJ might say tunage.
12:39It simply means music, so it's a bit of a slang term for music,
12:43especially in journalism.
12:45More quality tunage coming up, et cetera.
12:48Oh, I can't wait.
12:4934-5. James has gone fives off the blocks there
12:52and now it's his numbers game.
12:55How electrical enough?
12:56Two large and four...
12:58It's four.
12:59Four small, yeah.
13:01Two large, four little, it is indeed.
13:04And for this round, the four small ones are nine, six, five and one,
13:09and then the big two, 50 and 75.
13:12And your target, 905.
13:14905.
13:16MUSIC
13:24MUSIC
13:47Well, James?
13:48No, I'm not close enough.
13:50No. Paul?
13:52900.
13:54Five away. Let's have it anyway.
13:56I went six plus five plus one is 12.
14:00Yep.
14:01Times 75.
14:02900.
14:03Lovely.
14:04Five away, though, Rachel.
14:06Take us to that 905.
14:09To that 905.
14:11Well, if you say nine times 50 is 450,
14:15and then if you say six times 75 is also 450,
14:19add them together and add on the five
14:21and I take you to 905.
14:23Thank you. Well done.
14:25As ever, spot on.
14:27So there we are, 41 plays five.
14:29As we turn to Adrian.
14:31Now, Adrian, your mum is Croatian.
14:35Yes, that's right.
14:36How are you getting on with the language?
14:39Well, the language is incredibly simple on one level,
14:43and it's phonetic.
14:44So once you know the rules, you look at it and you can say the words.
14:49The grammar is impossibly difficult.
14:51It's got seven cases.
14:53So I know when you learn German,
14:54you've got nominative, accusative, dative, genitive.
14:58In Croatian, there's seven.
15:00Oh, right.
15:01But when I was a kid, I always used to go over there
15:03thinking that speaking Croatian would make me attractive
15:05to young Yugoslavs, as it was, or young Croatian women,
15:08and it didn't work at all.
15:10Bad luck.
15:11I was often hampered by just mixing things up
15:14because I'd sort of, I'd just have a vague bash at it.
15:17I mean, for example,
15:19Å¡ator is tent, Å¡ator is tent,
15:23and Å¡takor is rat.
15:25So I was checking with some friends on a campsite,
15:28after we did our A-levels, we drove,
15:30three of us drove to Pula on the Istrian coast,
15:34and I was booking into this, booking us into this campsite,
15:38and I said, look, there's tri osobe,
15:42three persons, auto, which is car,
15:46and I said, just one small rat.
15:50And he was looking at me, he goes, rat?
15:53And I thought he meant tent, I was going, just a small,
15:56it's only a little.
15:57I thought the problem was the size of the tent,
15:59but the problem was the rat.
16:01I was going, it's only a little rat, it's only a little one.
16:04Anyway, I got away with it,
16:06but still never found a Croatian woman
16:08to fall in love with me, I'm afraid.
16:10So just a tiny, tiny rat.
16:12Thank you so much, brilliant stuff.
16:17Thank you so much.
16:18Now, Paul on 41, James on 5,
16:21it's Paul's letters game, yes, sir.
16:24I'll start with a consonant, please, Rachel.
16:26Thank you, Paul. M.
16:28Second consonant.
16:30V.
16:32Vowel.
16:34U.
16:36Second vowel.
16:38A.
16:40Third.
16:42E.
16:44Consonant.
16:46T.
16:48Consonant.
16:50D.
16:53Vowel.
16:55I.
16:57And a final consonant.
16:59And a final N.
17:02Stand by.
17:08MUSIC PLAYS
17:34Paul.
17:35Seven, Nick.
17:36Seven, James.
17:38Seven.
17:40Paul.
17:41Mediant.
17:42Mediant. And James?
17:44Untamed.
17:45Untamed.
17:46Very nice, both, yeah.
17:48We can't do better than seven.
17:50Vaunted, you could have.
17:51Vaunted and deviant as well, so a few sevens in there.
17:54Thank you.
17:5548 plays 12.
17:57James, your letters game.
17:59Can I start with a consonant, please, Rachel?
18:01Thank you, James. G.
18:03And a vowel.
18:05A.
18:07And another consonant.
18:10S.
18:12And another consonant.
18:14N.
18:16And a vowel, please.
18:18E.
18:20Another vowel.
18:22I.
18:24And a consonant.
18:26S.
18:28And another consonant.
18:30M.
18:32And a final vowel, please.
18:34And lastly, E.
18:36Stand by.
19:05Yes, James?
19:07Six.
19:09A six. Paul?
19:11I'll stick with a seven.
19:13James?
19:15Images.
19:16Images and...
19:17Messing.
19:19Messing about, yes.
19:21Messing about in boats, for instance.
19:23Yes.
19:24Adrian and Susie.
19:26We have gaminess for eight.
19:29Is that just food, gaminess?
19:32Yes, meat can have a certain gaminess to it
19:34if it's very strong in flavour.
19:36But if you have a gamey past, it's slightly shady or disreputable.
19:40So gaminess in those figurative terms can be...
19:43So you might have a look at someone and say
19:45there's a certain gaminess about him or her.
19:47Something a bit dodgy.
19:4955 plays 12.
19:51Paul, numbers game.
19:53One, two, one, two, please.
19:55Still one from the top.
19:57Two, one and a two.
19:59And these five little ones are...
20:01Seven.
20:02Ten.
20:03One.
20:04Another one.
20:05Another ten.
20:06And 75.
20:08And the target...
20:09457.
20:10Four, five, seven.
20:30BUZZER
20:43Well, Paul?
20:44Four, five, nine.
20:46James?
20:47Too far away.
20:48Yeah.
20:49Sticking with Paul.
20:51Seven minus one's six.
20:53Yes.
20:54Times a 75.
20:56450.
20:57And ten minus the second one is nine.
21:00Yeah.
21:01That's on.
21:02Two away.
21:03Lovely.
21:04Thank you.
21:05Two away, though.
21:06Rachel?
21:07Can you help?
21:08Yeah, there were a couple of ways for this one.
21:10You could have said 75 plus one is 76
21:14and then seven minus one again is six.
21:16Times those together for 456
21:19and you can do ten over ten for another one.
21:21And add it on.
21:23Thank you.
21:24Four, five, seven.
21:27That's the way. That is the way.
21:29So, 62 plays 12.
21:32Paul's favour.
21:34And now it's our tea time teaser.
21:36Red Manual is the teaser.
21:38And the clue...
21:39It was an easy target for the burglar.
21:41He wasn't anxious about anything.
21:43It was an easy target for the burglar.
21:46He wasn't anxious about anything.
21:57APPLAUSE
22:03Welcome back. I left you with the clue.
22:05It was an easy target for the burglar.
22:07He wasn't anxious about anything.
22:09And the answer to that is unalarmed.
22:14Unalarmed.
22:18So, James, your letters came.
22:21Please may I start with a consonant?
22:23Thank you, James. L.
22:26D.
22:29A.
22:32I.
22:36R.
22:40B.
22:44E.
22:49T.
22:51And a final consonant, please.
22:55And a final D.
22:57Stand by.
23:20MUSIC PLAYS
23:29Well, James?
23:30It's a six.
23:31Paul?
23:32Yeah, it's just six also.
23:34And James?
23:35Baller.
23:37Yes.
23:38Tribal.
23:40And tribal from Paul.
23:42No, baller, unfortunately.
23:44Two Ls. Bailer would be there, but not baller.
23:47Can we match that? Match six?
23:49Adrian and Susie?
23:50Yes, one more. Librated is there as well.
23:54Librate is an astronomical term for the oscillation of the moon.
23:58So the moon librates, it nods to the left and the right.
24:01Thank you.
24:02Now, 68 plays 12. Paul on 68.
24:05It's Paul's letters game. Yes, Paul?
24:08Start with a consonant, please.
24:10Thank you, Paul. C.
24:12Second consonant.
24:14V.
24:16Vowel.
24:18I.
24:19Second vowel.
24:21A.
24:23Third.
24:25I.
24:28Consonant.
24:30M.
24:32Consonant.
24:34F.
24:36Vowel.
24:38O.
24:41And I'll finish with a consonant.
24:44And finish with R.
24:47Time-time.
25:18Well, Paul?
25:20Six, I think.
25:21Got a six? James?
25:23Four.
25:24And that four is?
25:26Foam.
25:27Foam and...
25:28Formic?
25:29Formic.
25:31Really bad luck, because formic is there,
25:33but only in combination with acid.
25:35Formic acid is a volatile acid emitted by ants.
25:38But you can't have formic on its own, I'm really sorry.
25:41Otherwise, we just have carom for five,
25:44which is a canon in billiards, or pool.
25:47Carom. Thank you. Thank you so much.
25:49Six, eight, plays 16.
25:51And Susie.
25:52Susie, we're back with you again
25:54for another thought-provoking session
25:58with your origins of words.
26:00A bit of drinking today.
26:02I have an email from Bill Wynne,
26:04who asks,
26:05whence cometh the expression
26:07here's mud in your eye
26:09as a toast before drinking?
26:11He said, it sounds rather unfriendly,
26:13but curious.
26:14If you look back into the records,
26:16you'll find that most early uses
26:18are in connection with horses and riding.
26:20And the main ideas of the expression
26:22was simply speedy travel.
26:24So the idea was it was a parting greeting
26:26implying that the mud from my horse
26:28will hit you in the eye as I speed off,
26:31as I ride ahead of you on horseback.
26:33So it's similar to Godspeed,
26:35may the wind be at your back,
26:37goodbye, in fact, God be with you.
26:40And so it's just begun to encompass general health.
26:43But we still say it as a drinking toast.
26:45But it got me thinking about the toast of the town
26:48and why we toast people.
26:50One of my favourite stories, really,
26:52because it was literal toast
26:54that we used to put in our drinks.
26:56So going right back to around the 15th century,
26:59people would put slices of spiced toast
27:02or pieces of spiced toast in their drinks
27:04to improve the flavour,
27:05often if the wine was a little bit mediocre,
27:07or in symbolic sense,
27:09to celebrate a person who was in the company,
27:12usually a woman,
27:13who spiced up the occasion
27:15much as the toast was doing to the drink.
27:17They'd often discard it and give it to the dog,
27:19for example, the records of that being thrown to the hounds.
27:22But it was only a little bit later
27:24that someone had the idea that actually
27:26we could be eating this toasted bread.
27:28And we've ended up with toast today.
27:30But it's come rather full circle
27:32because toast now isn't always a very good thing.
27:35So if you say, this is toast,
27:37or you're toast,
27:38it means you're as good as dead.
27:40And that does go back to Ghostbusters,
27:42one of the few examples in the OED, really,
27:45where a film gives you the very first evidence of a thing.
27:48It goes back to Bill Murray, of course,
27:50who said, this chick is toast.
27:52He actually changed the scriptwriter's line from that.
27:55But it certainly propelled it into popular consciousness,
27:58the idea of something that actually is not very good.
28:01Wonderful.
28:04APPLAUSE
28:06I'm glad it was Bill Murray, too, cos he's such a great actor.
28:09He is wonderful, isn't he?
28:106-8, please. 16.
28:12Paul on 6-8. James' letters game.
28:14Please have a consonant.
28:16Thank you, James. S
28:18And another one.
28:20N
28:21And a vowel.
28:23U
28:24Another vowel.
28:25I
28:27And another consonant, please.
28:29J
28:30And another.
28:33And a vowel.
28:35O
28:37Another vowel, please.
28:39E
28:41And a final consonant.
28:43And a final T.
28:45Stand by.
29:03MUSIC
29:18Well, James?
29:196.
29:20Paul?
29:216 also.
29:22James?
29:23Listen.
29:24Listened and...?
29:25Sunlit.
29:27Sunlit.
29:28Yes, very nice.
29:29Very nice.
29:30What have we got there, Adrian?
29:32We've got two 8s, actually, outlines and illusions.
29:38Illusions?
29:39Yes, the result of eluting something, which is washing it with a solvent.
29:43Ah, I see. Well done. Thank you.
29:45APPLAUSE
29:47Two strong 8s there makes it 74-22.
29:51Paul, your letters game.
29:54Consonant, please, Rachel.
29:56Thank you, Paul. R
29:58Vowel.
29:59A
30:01Second vowel.
30:03E
30:05Consonant.
30:07L
30:09Second consonant.
30:11R
30:13Vowel.
30:15A
30:17Consonant.
30:19M
30:21Consonant.
30:23G
30:25And a final consonant.
30:28And a final S.
30:30Stand by.
30:59Yes, Paul?
31:03Just six.
31:05Six, James?
31:06Six as well.
31:07Paul?
31:08Largers.
31:10Largers and James.
31:11Gamers.
31:12And gamers.
31:15Any more sixes in the corner?
31:17You can stick an extra A in largers and have largers,
31:21to a South African historical term for encampments formed by a circle of wagons.
31:27Yeah.
31:28Also, also, camps for prisoners, I think.
31:31Right.
31:32In the Boer War.
31:33Right.
31:34In the lager.
31:3580 plays 28. Paul on 80. Good score.
31:38James, your numbers game.
31:40Please can I have two large and four small?
31:42You can, indeed. Thank you, James.
31:44Last one of the day, two big, four little.
31:46And these four little ones are 2, 2, 6 and 6.
31:51And the big ones, 25 and 100.
31:54And the target, 473.
31:57473.
32:24Well, James?
32:26470.
32:28Three away. And Paul?
32:30475, I think.
32:33Let's try.
32:356 minus 2 is 4.
32:38Yep.
32:39Times 100.
32:41400.
32:42And then 6 divided by 2...
32:45Is 3.
32:46Times 25.
32:4825.
32:496 divided by 2...
32:51Is 3.
32:52Times 25.
32:54Yep, for the 75.
32:56Two away. Well done.
32:58And Rachel, 473?
33:00It was there. If you say 6 times 2 is 12.
33:04Add it to 100 for 112.
33:07The other 6 minus the other 2 is 4.
33:09Times those together for 448 and add on the 25.
33:14473.
33:15Oh, very good.
33:17Thank you, Rachel.
33:19Spot on, spot on.
33:21So, 87 plays 28 as we go into the final round.
33:25Gentlemen, fingers on buzzers.
33:27Let's roll today's Countdown Conundrum.
33:41Yes, Paul?
33:43I think it's impairing.
33:45Impairing. Let's see whether you're right.
33:48Well done.
33:53Well done, Paul. Good score, 97.
33:56Oh, James, you came up against a great player there today.
33:59But, you know, you played well.
34:02You played well. So thank you very much for coming.
34:04You take this goodie bag back to Morecambe.
34:07Yeah, thanks.
34:08Thanks for coming and we shall see you next time, Paul.
34:10Well done. Good score, 97. Excellent.
34:12See you next time.
34:14I look forward to it.
34:15Well done.
34:16And Adrian and Susie, of course, more stories from Adrian.
34:19And if you fancy a pun for your dinner tonight,
34:21may I recommend The Codfather or Frying Nemo?
34:25Thank you very much.
34:26We'll see you next time.
34:27See you then.
34:28All right. Next time, see you then.
34:30Same time, same place, you'll be sure of it.
34:32A very good afternoon.
34:34You can contact the programme by email at countdown at channel4.com,
34:38by Twitter at C4Countdown,
34:40or write to us at countdownleads ls31js.
34:44You can also find our web page at channel4.com forward slash countdown.
34:51Kate explores the origins of fortune cookies
34:54and Jimmy gets to know soy sauce.
34:56Food Unwrapped, a China special, tomorrow at 8.
35:00Next this afternoon, going back to their Greek roots,
35:03finding a place in the sun.
35:10The Codfather.