S1 E2 - How To Spend a Long Night
At a sauna, Kakihana learns that Odokawa and Shirakawa traded phone numbers at the end of the ride. Kakihana receives a match on the dating app with calico cat Shiho Ichimura. At a debut concert venue, toy poodle Rui Nikaidะพ, the lead singer of the new idol group called Mystery Kiss, confides in her skunk superfan Shun Imai that Mystery Kiss has trouble gaining popularity. Imai is surprised that Ichimura and black cat Yuki Mitsuya, who are the backup singers of Mystery Kiss, were contractually obligated to wear masks for the debut concert. Red fox manager Fuyuki Yamamoto then tells Ichimura and Mitsuya to sell leftover merchandise outside the venue. Despite spending money on lottery tickets in hopes of buying Mystery Kiss CD albums, Imai hitches a ride with Odokawa, who is eventually haggled into giving Imai a ride to Shinjuku. Imai asks for Odokawa's lucky numbers before leaving. Odokawa then picks up wild boar Kensuke Shibagaki and horse Atsuya Baba, the manzai comedy duo called Homosapiens. Baba receives a call to appear on a daytime food show without Shibagaki. After dropping off Shibagaki and Baba at the NHK, Odokawa is soon held at gunpoint when Dobu enters the taxi.
At a sauna, Kakihana learns that Odokawa and Shirakawa traded phone numbers at the end of the ride. Kakihana receives a match on the dating app with calico cat Shiho Ichimura. At a debut concert venue, toy poodle Rui Nikaidะพ, the lead singer of the new idol group called Mystery Kiss, confides in her skunk superfan Shun Imai that Mystery Kiss has trouble gaining popularity. Imai is surprised that Ichimura and black cat Yuki Mitsuya, who are the backup singers of Mystery Kiss, were contractually obligated to wear masks for the debut concert. Red fox manager Fuyuki Yamamoto then tells Ichimura and Mitsuya to sell leftover merchandise outside the venue. Despite spending money on lottery tickets in hopes of buying Mystery Kiss CD albums, Imai hitches a ride with Odokawa, who is eventually haggled into giving Imai a ride to Shinjuku. Imai asks for Odokawa's lucky numbers before leaving. Odokawa then picks up wild boar Kensuke Shibagaki and horse Atsuya Baba, the manzai comedy duo called Homosapiens. Baba receives a call to appear on a daytime food show without Shibagaki. After dropping off Shibagaki and Baba at the NHK, Odokawa is soon held at gunpoint when Dobu enters the taxi.
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TVTranscript
00:00ๆๆตใซๅฏใๆทปใฃใฆ ใซใผใใๆฒใใใฐใพใ
00:13ๆ่ใซ่ฝใกใฆใใใใใ ไฝใ่ฆใใ?
00:21ไฝใ้ฟใใฆใ? ็ญใใฆใ
00:30ใตใ
ใตใ
ใตใ
ใตใ
00:37ใตใ
ใตใ
ใตใ
ใตใ
00:40้ใฏใฌใณใผใใง ๆฅใ
ใไนใใ้ใๆใใฆใใใคใบ
00:45ๅใฏ่ๆฏใซใชใฃใฆ ๅใซใฉใฃใก? ๆ่ฉฎใดใๅฆ็
00:50ใชใบใ ใใใฌใธใฅใกใใ ่งฃใใชใๅคใฎใชใบใ ๆฐใซใชใใใใชใฌใผใซ
00:55่กใซ็ธๅใใใ่ชๅใ็ฅใฃใฆ ้งใใกใใใ่จๆถ
01:05ใพใไผผๅใใชใ็ฎ็ทใฎๅ
ใธ ่พฟใ็ใใ
01:25ๆๆตใซๅฏใๆทปใฃใฆ ใซใผใใๆฒใใใฐใพใ
01:55ๅใคใ
02:25ใใใใใใใ
02:55ใฉใณใฏใขใใใฅใข
03:26่ชไฟกใจ่ชไฟกใฎใใใฎใใญใฐใฉใ
03:29็งใฏใใชใใฎๆ่ฝใ่ช่ญใใชใไบบใใกใฎใใใซ ใใญใฐใฉใใผใฎใใใฎใใญใฐใฉใ ใฏๆฅใใใใ
03:37ใใชใใใใชใใฎๅผฑ็นใ่ช่ญใ ่ชๅใฎใฏใฉใใใซ้ฒๆญฉใ
03:40ๆๅ็ใไธใใใฐ ๅๅฟใฏ้ฒ่ก็ใง
03:43่ชไฟกใฎใใใฎๆ ๆฐใฏ้้ใใชใ
03:46ใใชใใฎ้ญ
ๅใฏ ใใผใณใใผใคใซใใใผใทใงใณใใใๅผฑใ
03:50ใจใซใใใใชใใฏใใชใใฎใจใใซใฎใผใง ๆผๅฅใใใใจใใงใใพใใใ
03:53ใใชใใฎใฝใญใทใงใผใฎๆๅพใฎๅ่ซใฏ ๆธใใฆใใใจใใฆใ้ข็ฝใ
03:56ใใฃใจ่ฉฆใใฆใฟใฆ
03:57็งใฎ้กใซ่จใฃใฆ ๆใใช
03:59ใใชใใฏๆฅใใใใใจๆใใพใใ?
04:01ใใ?
04:03็งใฏๆฌๅฝใซๆฅใใใใใจใฏ่จใใพใใ
04:06็งใฏ้ๅธธใฎ่ดใใฆใใไบบใงใ ็งใฏๆ
ฃใใฆใใพใใ
04:09็งใใใชใใซไฝใ่ณชๅใใพใ
04:11ไฝๆ
ใใชใใฏ็ ใใซใใใชใใพใใใ?
04:14็งใฏๅฟใใฆใใพใ
04:16็งใไปฅๅใฎๆนๆณใ่ฆใใฆใใพใใ
04:19ไฝใใใญใฎใขใใใคในใฏใใใพใใ?
04:25้ถใๆฐใใใใจใฏๅฝนใซ็ซใค
04:27ใใชใใฏใใใๆง็ฏใใ ๆฅญ็ใฎ็งๅฏใฎใใใซ่ฆใใพใใใ
04:29่ชฐใใใใใ็ฅใฃใฆใใ
04:32ใใจใฏใใชใใฏ ใทใณใใฃใผใปใญใใใผใใใใใพใใ
04:35ไฝใ?
04:36MVP
04:37ใใชใใฏ็งใใกใฎไธ็ใ่ฆใพใใ
04:44ใชใฟใซใฏใใ
04:45ใใชใใฏ่ชฐใๅฅฝใใงใใ?
04:46ๆฌๅฝใซ
04:47ใใใใใใฏใจใฆใๆตช่ฒปใงใ
04:49ๆใใใจใใฏไบบ็ใๆฅฝใใ
04:51็งใฏใใพใใซใๅนด่ใใฆใใพใ
04:53ใใชใใฏ41ๆญณใงใ
04:54ไบบ็ใฏๅงใพใฃใฆใใพใ
04:55ใใชใใฏ็งใฎๆญณใ็ฅใฃใฆใใพใใ?
04:57ๅปๅญฆ่จ้ฒใใ
04:58ใใชใใฏใจใฆใๆฐใซๅ
ฅใฃใฆใใพใใใ?
05:00ใใชใใฏๅฎถๆใๆใฃใฆใใพใใ?
05:01ๅฝผใใฏ็งใๅฐใใๆใซ้ขใใพใใ
05:02ไฝๆ?
05:03ๅนผ็จๅ
05:04ใฉใฎใใใซใใชใใฏ่ชๅใๆฏๆดใใพใใ?
05:06ใใชใใฏๅคงใใใงใใ?
05:07ในใใฌในใในใใฎใใใชใใฎใใใใพใใ?
05:08็งใฏใใใใชใใ
05:09็งใฏ่ชๅใฎ้็ใ้ใใพใใ
05:10ไฝใๆใใใใจใฏใใใพใใ?
05:15ไฝใๆใใใใจใฏใใใพใใ?
05:16ไฝใๆใใใใจใฏใใใพใใ?
05:17ไฝใๆใใใใจใฏใใใพใใ?
05:18ๅคๅใ็งใฏๅญฆๆ กใซ่กใใใใซ
05:19ๅญฆ็่ฒธใใๅใ้คใใพใใ
05:20ๅคๅใ็งใฏๅญฆๆ กใซ่กใใใใซ
05:21ๅญฆ็่ฒธใใๅใ้คใใพใใ
05:22ไฝใงใใใๆใใใงใใ?
05:23ไฝใงใใใๆใใใงใใ?
05:24ๅฝๆใ็งใฏๅบๅทใใฆใใพใใ
05:25ๅฝๆใ็งใฏๅบๅทใใฆใใพใใ
05:26ใใใฆใ็งใฏ็งใฎ่ฆชๆใไฟกใใใใใใพใใใงใใ
05:27ใใใฆใ็งใฏ็งใฎ่ฆชๆใไฟกใใใใใใพใใใงใใ
05:28ใใใใ็งใฏใพใ ใใใๆใใ
05:29็งใฏใใใๆใใ
05:30็งใฏใใใๆใใ
05:31็งใฏใใใๆใใ
05:32็งใฏใใใๆใใ
05:33็งใฏใใใๆใใ
05:34็งใฏใใใๆใใ
05:35็งใฏใใใๆใใ
05:36็งใฏใใใๆใใ
05:37็งใฏใใใๆใใ
05:38็งใฏใใใๆใใ
05:39็งใฏใใใๆใใ
05:40็งใฏใใใๆใใ
05:41็งใฏใใใๆใใ
05:42็งใฏใใใๆใใ
05:43็งใฏใใใๆใใ
05:44็งใฏใใใๆใใ
05:45็งใฏใใใๆใใ
05:46็งใฏใใใๆใใ
05:47็งใฏใใใๆใใ
05:48็งใฏใใใๆใใ
05:49็งใฏใใใๆใใ
05:50็งใฏใใใๆใใ
05:51็งใฏใใใๆใใ
05:52็งใฏใใใๆใใ
05:53็งใฏใใใๆใใ
05:54็งใฏใใใๆใใ
05:55็งใฏใใใๆใใ
05:56็งใฏใใใๆใใ
05:57็งใฏใใใๆใใ
05:58็งใฏใใใๆใใ
05:59็งใฏใใใๆใใ
06:00็งใฏใใใๆใใ
06:01็งใฏใใใๆใใ
06:02็งใฏใใใๆใใ
06:03็งใฏใใใๆใใ
06:04็งใฏใใใๆใใ
06:05็งใฏใใใๆใใ
06:06็งใฏใใใๆใใ
06:07็งใฏใใใๆใใ
06:08็งใฏใใใๆใใ
06:09็งใฏใใใๆใใ
06:10็งใฏใใใๆใใ
06:11็งใฏใใใๆใใ
06:12็งใฏใใใๆใใ
06:13็งใฏใใใๆใใ
06:14็งใฏใใใๆใใ
06:15็งใฏใใใๆใใ
06:16็งใฏใใใๆใใ
06:18Uh...
06:21What does he look like?
06:22What does he look like?
06:23Uh...
06:24He's a little hard to describe.
06:27Do you have a picture of him?
06:28I do!
06:29Want to see?
06:30I would indeed.
06:31I can tease Kakehana about it later.
06:33Later
06:44You've transcended all kinds of stuff to achieve a look of total serenity hold on just collecting my thoughts I
06:54Hate to admit it otokawa, but you've got a chance at what at this rate. We're both headed straight for eternal bachelorhood
07:02Okay, snagging a beautiful girl like her would be a huge late-game upset. It's not like that at all
07:07You don't like her. No, that's not it. So you do then. Well, not particularly. No fine, then
07:13What if you had to why are you forcing me to answer a difficult question like that?
07:17What are you a lawyer just want to know which way you lean?
07:21Well, I guess towards like how much how much what big is your affection for her?
07:28The size of a multivitamin big in a way
07:32What should I do if I were you I'd strike all the irons hot
07:36They say women are as fickle as autumn weather if you wait too long, you'll miss your chance
07:41But if you're too aggressive, she'll think you're a desperate old man grasping at anyone
07:45So finding the balance is tough
07:47If you were me I teaser and give her the cold shoulder then put on a kind smile when I see her
07:53shut up
07:55When I remembered I was getting advice from a fellow bachelor. It all started to sound like static
08:00Whatever but real talk though
08:02I bet your parents would be jumping for joy if you were a married man by the time they saw you again
08:07Don't you want them to meet their grandkids?
08:09Not really
08:11I'd rather show the people who covered my living expenses after my parents up and left me that I'm living a happy life
08:17You're talking about that support group, right?
08:20Mm-hmm. I
08:24Don't think I've ever seen you get in the bath Otakawa want to make a stop at Taiko's
08:30I can't I'm gonna be working tonight
08:36Hey, don't take pictures in the changing room, come on, who cares there's nobody here now
08:41Taiko hasn't seen you in a while and she misses you. So I wanted to give her a little something
08:46It doesn't matter that nobody's here. The sign says it's prohibited
09:00Are
09:07You listening Kaki Hana
09:30Oh
09:41How am I supposed to go viral damn it hi it's time for your bath, okay
09:57140,000 retweets
10:00140,000 retweets
10:30Oh
10:46Hey there am I you waited in the line for me again, of course I did I've been waiting forever for you to debut
10:52Rui picture time
10:55How should we pose now?
10:58We've linked arms and made a heart already any ideas let me see since you're so special am I how about a hug?
11:06for real
11:11And as you're my very last visitor today, I'll give you an autograph to well, thank you
11:16I promise I'll buy your debut single. Thanks
11:20But I don't know if it'll sell well
11:24Are things tough fewer people showed up than expected again
11:28I've been thinking about something both Ichimura and Mitsuya would look better without their masks. They're so cute. It's a waste
11:35I assume if they take their masks off for the Polaroids. Nobody wants a picture if they're messed up like that
11:41They're cute, but not as cute as you of course
11:44Those masks wearing them was one of the conditions for our debut. I see they've got their reasons I suppose
11:52Also
11:55Mitsuya's dancing has gotten a little sloppy lately. Is she not feeling well?
12:01She juggles part-time work lessons and streaming from home she might be tired man, that sounds rough
12:09Don't push yourself too hard
12:11Yeah
12:13Yes, thank you so much. I promise you when I get rich. I'll buy all of your CDs and merch
12:18I'm just a waiter at a club right now, but time's up. Thank you for coming out
12:30Ichimura Mitsuya, we've got some time before the venue closes
12:34Why don't you go outside and sell our leftover merch? Wait, really Nikita doesn't have to what can we do?
12:40I mean our sales aren't as good as Ruiz. No one cares about us
12:44I'm sorry. Thanks for this
12:49God this is so embarrassing
12:51We can't succeed with all of this against us these masks prevent us from lowering the same level of big spenders as Nikita
12:58I don't think I'd attract any fans. Even without this mask Ichimura. You've got a real self-esteem issue
13:04Well, I started my career maskless and now I'm here if anything. It's crazy that you have any self-esteem at all
13:11Yeah, good point. Maybe I'm never down on myself because my parents raised me with love really. Yeah, that's a big factor
13:18It was the opposite for me. My parents always told me that I was worthless and wouldn't amount to anything
13:23Let me ask you in your normal routine. When do you feel the happiest in a bathtub by myself?
13:28You sound like an old lady. What about you? Mitsui? I'm eating especially if it's fried chicken. You're crazy
13:33What a calorie bomb telling me. I'm crazy is what's crazy. What how rude I'm your senior you crazy girl
13:41You've exceeded the expectations great work today Nikita online news is talking about you
13:48It's not enough our commercial didn't bring in anybody
13:52We need more fans like a my if we want to be successful
13:55If I recall correctly if I was one of those five guys from before, right?
14:00Yeah
14:07Yeah, that's the guy he's probably the only one who's been following us since that point in time
14:16What are they calling about
14:19Yes, Yamamoto here. Yeah
14:22Everything went smoothly
14:24Yeah
14:26Half right, huh? Of course
14:29What dash cam, huh? I'll look for him. Do you know the taxi driver's name?
14:36Well, I can't do much if you don't
14:39Yeah, you're right
14:41Right understood
14:44What's up, nothing, it's fine nothing for you to worry about
14:58Oh
15:07Well 2,000 yen get me to Shinjuku, no, it's around 3,500 yen to get you there could you make an exception I'll
15:17Go as far as I can. No, take me to Shinjuku. The way you haggle is both pushy and creepy
15:22Oh, give me a break, please. I'm completely broke. All right, then fine
15:28Hmm
15:36Damn it. All of them are losers
15:38Hey, if you had the money to buy those you should have set some aside for cab fare. It's not like that
15:43Okay, I'm going to use the money to buy mystery kiss albums mystery
15:46What a three-person idol group that formed about two years ago
15:50They've struggled but they finally made their debut a very long struggle. I remember when I first saw them
15:56It was about a year ago at a concert. I happened to attend back then
15:59There were only five people in the audience including myself
16:02But today so many more people were there to cheer them on I feel so happy but also kind of sad
16:07I'm a bit conflicted. It's cool though. Having known about them for so long gives me a sense of superiority
16:12I was one of those first five fans that I've stuck around. I'll never forget how I felt back then
16:18Ruining me Kaido's overpowering aura her singing reminded me a bit of Janice Chaplin her innate idol qualities
16:24Contrasted with her exuberant ambition
16:27Yukimitsu's exceptional physicality backed by her next-level dancing. She hope Ichimura's genuine modesty
16:33Each one had a unique personality. They were the holy trinity of idols nice insight on their personalities
16:40But they got less impressive as you went on that's because ultimately I'm a Nikita fan
16:45I even made the first Nikita fan account. Yeah
16:48Anyway today was their debut CD pre-order event each pre-order comes with Polaroid tickets
16:55The more you pre-order the more Polaroids you get to take you can have Ruini Kaido all to yourself
17:00If that's true instead of lottery tickets, you should have bought more CDs instead. What are you talking about?
17:05I can only afford one CD
17:07I'd rather buy these tickets win the lottery and make Ruini Kaido all mine. You're betting on slim odds. Are you a lucky man driver?
17:15Pushing a break catching a break. It's got to be connected somehow, right? I bet you're super lucky long ago
17:22I survived an accident that should have killed me. So maybe I am lucky
17:30Lucky man wouldn't have bet in an accident. Yeah, I guess you're right. All right Shinjuku. You're okay. Yes. Sorry. I only have 2,000 yen
17:38Yeah, since you're a lucky driver, would you mind giving me your seven favorite numbers between 137?
17:52I'd say my seven favorites are 2 10 12 18 20 32 and 33
17:58Hey, I'm pretty good. I'm off to buy a lottery ticket. Wait, you mean you still have money?
18:05What a pain
18:08Oh
18:21You available
18:26Sorry to interrupt your break the Japan broadcasting, please
18:39Oh
18:40What you got there looking for things we could use for our show
18:43You're hitting the books hard. Look doesn't this just piss you off. I
18:50Know what you mean? I'd rather listen to the actual song. Some of them are kind of moving though
18:56What are you talking about? In what way are they moving moving slow? And what are you looking at?
19:03Zuden
19:04Zuden, it's a mobile game
19:07Hold on a sec. You named your account homo sapie Baba and used a pic of yourself. Don't you know you're famous?
19:14I can play with fans this way. What's wrong with that? Use that time to write jokes instead
19:18It's extremely addicting you raise and care for animals and stuff to rank up. How could you raise anything?
19:24You've only ever been raised. Why not rank up your comedy your last right now. I'm last in comedy
19:30Don't get the wrong idea. Not just among professionals. I mean everyone I'm last at comedy compared to everyone
19:36So, how are things with your girlfriend? I can't talk about that here. Come on
19:42Don't be so self-conscious the percentage of people who know us is painfully low. Just drop it
19:47Okay, my girlfriend's ability to know she's being discussed as painfully high. Let's talk about something else
19:51Did you just come up with that? Hey, you're homo sapiens, right? I listen to you guys on the radio
19:57Seriously didn't know your faces, but I do know your voices. That's more than most driver. What do we need to build our fandom?
20:05Look I guess look is something we're definitely low on we try our best to be the best
20:11It seems to me like you're not equally committed
20:15How the n1 preliminaries go we made it past round two that's impressive
20:21Hey, Baba. What if I said, I think we should dissolve the group. I'd say you might be right
20:27I don't really understand comedy
20:29I mean, I hate to admit it, but you're the only one of us
20:33I think is truly funny from the bottom of my heart that seasoned comic said that you've got talent that you'd make it
20:40So if I'm holding you back, I think I should let you go on without me
20:45You're wrong. You shouldn't focus on quitting your fatal flaws. You're not frustrated after what he just said about us
20:51I can't help that. I'm not frustrated. Okay, people can't just control their emotions
20:56If that were true all unrequited love would cease to exist actually a pretty funny bit
21:00You should be putting things like that on the airway
21:02I'm funny, but I have no idea what you want me to do
21:05You're shifting tone and volume when you felt trapped who wouldn't shift tone after being pushed like that
21:09Hey driver in middle school this guy here got into a fistfight with a girl that ended in a draw
21:16At hand quit talking about my personal life a crap fighter a crap comedian and a crap student
21:21Is there anything you can do my academic abilities aren't any part of this?
21:25We went to the same high school. We're not that different
21:29Huh? It's our representative
21:31Hey, yeah, we'll be arriving soon. Yes. We're in a taxi. What? Yeah, he's right next to me, right?
21:39right
21:41What?
21:42You mean me?
21:44Yes
21:45Tomorrow. Yeah, that's fine. Yes
21:48Seriously, right, right. Thank you. Goodbye
21:55What do you say a
21:57Recurrent guest kidding on what it's some kind of daytime food show. That's totally great. It's just me
22:20Good evening, we're
22:25You