I don't even have time to explain why I don't have time to explain.
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00:00John Carmack, one of the founders of id Software, famously stated around the time of Doom's
00:05release that according to him,
00:07"...story in a game is like story in a porn movie.
00:10It's expected to be there, but it's not that important."
00:13Though that quote has aged very poorly, he may have had a point.
00:17There are tons of excellent video game experiences which feature either half-baked or totally
00:21neglected narratives, but incompetent storytelling really becomes a problem when the plot was
00:26bad to begin with.
00:28Though they certainly redeem themselves in other ways, many great games have straight
00:32up awful plots.
00:33I'm Jess from WhatCulture and here are 10 great video games with terrible storylines.
00:3910.
00:40Wolfenstein II The New Colossus – 2017
00:43Despite a few shortcomings, Bethesda's revival of id's famous Wolfenstein franchise
00:48has been relatively well-received.
00:50Though the first game was, ironically, pretty narrative-heavy for a game bearing the Wolfenstein
00:55name, it was nonetheless one of the most well-remembered games of 2014.
00:59Its sequel, however, didn't quite get that same treatment.
01:02The series' alt-history storyline drastically jumped the shark.
01:06Plus, for what it's worth, the overall Steam reviews for Wolfenstein II The New Colossus
01:11are mixed.
01:12While the original series reboot was a satisfying tale of perseverance and revenge, the new
01:17game's plot is all over the place.
01:20After surviving a decapitation at the hands of the nefarious Frau Engel, a ludicrous plot
01:25in and of itself, franchise protagonist William Blazkowicz embarks on a long-winded tour of
01:30American cities, which eventually culminates in a trip to the planet Venus.
01:34Yes, seriously, Venus.
01:37That Venus.
01:382014's Wolfenstein game did see players touring a secret Nazi moon base, but that felt entirely
01:44practical when compared to some of the shenanigans which occur in the sequel.
01:48This is by no means an indictment of Bethesda or MachineGames, but if this is to become
01:53a trilogy, it'd be nice to tone things down just a notch.
01:579.
01:58Crysis 2007
01:59Crysis, a sci-fi military FPS released in 2007 and set in the far-off year of 2020,
02:07was famous for its insanely demanding specs on PC back in the day.
02:11While Crytek's breakout title could run on just about anything today, the phrase,
02:16But can it run Crysis? is still a huge meme in certain circles.
02:21While everyone remembers this game for its stunning visuals and inventive gameplay mechanics,
02:25few claim to ever have understood or cared all that much about the story.
02:29Crysis' narrative elements were by far its weakest feature, and the game felt more like
02:33a glitzy tech demo than anything else.
02:36The story revolves around the North Korean invasion of an island not far from the Philippines,
02:41on which a U.S. research team seems to have made some impactful discoveries.
02:46A part of a covert team sent in to extract these scientists, things quickly spiral out
02:50of control, as, well, alien stuff happens.
02:54The introduction of the Seph and alien race bent on the destruction of humanity is pretty
02:59jarring in the original Crysis.
03:01The game goes from a fairly standard stealth action experience to war of the world wannabe
03:05at the drop of a hat, and it's weird.
03:098.
03:10Call of Duty Ghosts 2013
03:13The original Call of Duty titles focused on exploring just about every conceivable narrative
03:17angle of the Second World War.
03:19Yet when the series made the transition to modern warfare in the 2007 release of the
03:24same name, it was still more or less grounded in the geopolitical realities of the time.
03:29The same can absolutely not be said about 2013's Call of Duty Ghosts.
03:34Releasing during a time in which popular opinion was turning against the repetitive, over-the-top
03:39nature of the COD campaigns, Ghosts explored an absolutely ill-conceived and ridiculous
03:44plot thread.
03:45In the bleak distant future of 2017, all South American countries band together to form the
03:51Federation of the United Americas.
03:54They then capture a U.S. orbital bombardment satellite and use it to destroy San Diego.
03:59Most of the campaign takes place ten years later and chronicles the end of a decade-long
04:03conflict which culminates in the destruction of the Federation, along with, presumably,
04:08most of South America.
04:10The COD campaigns are known for being big, loud, and dumb, and it doesn't get much bigger,
04:14louder, or dumber than this.
04:177.
04:18Far Cry 5 2018
04:20In the fifth entry in the long-running Far Cry series, the end is nigh as cult leader
04:24and apparent doomsday prepper Joseph Seed lays claim to the fictional Hope County, Montana.
04:30Pragmatic villains and unbelievable plots are staples of the Far Cry series, but this
04:35takes things a step further.
04:37Joseph Seed seems convinced that the end of the world will soon be upon his congregation,
04:41yet it's difficult for the player to get a beat on anything occurring outside of Hope
04:45County.
04:46As the game comes to a close, the player is given a choice to either walk away from or
04:50resist the Eden's Gate cult.
04:53Should he or she walk away, they seem to escape, with the intent of returning with reinforcements,
04:58until Seed appears to hypnotize them, lapsing the character into servitude to the cult.
05:04On the other hand, should the player choose to resist, they're essentially forced to
05:08fight their squadmates until an out-of-left-field nuclear detonation brings the game to an end.
05:14It's definitely not the most subtle way to round out the plot, and many Far Cry fans
05:18have since voiced their frustrations over this lackluster ending.
05:21New Dawn was a whole thing, though.
05:236.
05:24The Evil Within 2014
05:26Helmed by Resident Evil creator Shinji Mikami, The Evil Within was a 2014 survival horror
05:32title that felt a bit too much like a retread of Resi 4 in the minds of some players.
05:37Yet while Resi 4 was campy and hilarious in places, The Evil Within was stone-cold serious,
05:43and it suffered as a result.
05:44The plot made little to no sense, and even when all the cards were laid on the table
05:49near the end of the game, the overarching narrative still came across as little more
05:53than a reason to chain a bunch of spooky environments together.
05:57Cerebral and involved, The Evil Within and its sequel may have benefited from a more
06:02straightforward plot.
06:03Instead, players were treated to the story of an umbrella-like organization intent on
06:07developing a biochemical hyper-reality, which they could use to rule the world before the
06:12man they placed in charge of it betrays them and corrupts everything.
06:16The concept is already hard to grasp, and it's made even more difficult by the fact
06:19that almost nothing is ever told directly to the player.
06:24Most who saw this game through to the end were probably still left scratching their
06:27heads as the credits rolled.
06:295.
06:30Uncharted Drake's Fortune – 2007
06:33Developed by notorious Sony cohorts Naughty Dog and released in 2007, Uncharted was a
06:39system-selling visual masterpiece meant to contend with Microsoft's rival Halo franchise.
06:44Though the PlayStation 3 would go on to lose that generation's console war by most accounts,
06:49the Uncharted franchise stood as something Sony fans could rub in the faces of their
06:54Xbox-owning counterparts.
06:56While the first Uncharted title is, by and large, a great game, the plot leaves something
07:00to be desired.
07:02It feels like what might've happened if Steven Spielberg had to film the original
07:06Indiana Jones trilogy on a shoestring budget, complete with hokey plot points and ridiculous
07:11cursed idol MacGuffins.
07:13Things really take a turn for the worse in the third act, when Nathan Drake is handed
07:17an MP40 and tasked with gunning down mutated Nazi zombies.
07:23Nobody seems to remember how off the rails the first Uncharted game's plot was, and
07:27that's probably for the best.
07:29Subsequent entries in Naughty Dog's famous action-platforming series would fare much
07:33better from a narrative perspective, and we're all better off turning a blind eye to that
07:37weird pseudo-survival horror segment.
07:404.
07:41Fallout 4 – 2015
07:43In 2011, Obsidian Entertainment, now a subsidiary of Microsoft, proved that Bethesda wasn't
07:49the only studio out there capable of making a satisfying FPS Fallout title.
07:53With the ball in their court, what did Bethesda do to prove that they still had a handle on
07:58the franchise?
07:59By gutting most of the series' RPG mechanics and simplifying the story, of course.
08:04Fallout 4 is far from a bad game, but it doesn't quite live up to the legacy of the franchise
08:08as a whole, particularly from a narrative standpoint.
08:12While Fallout New Vegas had tons of possible endgame scenarios and was so story-rich that
08:17it could've given George R. R. Martin a run for his money, Fallout 4 was very by the
08:21numbers and featured a mere four endings, each focusing on one of the title's four
08:26main factions.
08:27What's more, there weren't quite as many interesting side-quests or unique story beats
08:32to be found.
08:33Sure, players could help the super-mutant Strong find the milk of human kindness or
08:37help Preston Garvey defend yet another settlement, but it all felt slightly soulless when compared
08:43to older entries.
08:443.
08:45Doom 1993
08:48As previously mentioned, 1993's seminal first-person shooter Doom was severely anemic in terms
08:54of narrative.
08:55At that time, video games weren't really considered to be an appropriate medium for storytelling,
08:59thanks to their relatively rudimentary natures.
09:02And that stigma would prevail until titles like Final Fantasy VII and the original Fallout
09:07would begin to sway opinions half a decade later.
09:10Yet fully-fledged or not, Doom's plot is pretty stupid.
09:14Talking about demons from hell invading a Martian base?
09:17Maybe throw in an evil megacorporation for good effect?
09:20The game's mission briefings may as well just say, shoot stuff!
09:23It would convey just about as much meaning.
09:25As a matter of fact, Doom doesn't even care about its plot.
09:28In 2016's Bethesda-backed series reboot, the player character is literally only there
09:33to kill things, and actively ignores even the most basic plot points.
09:37Much like the player, he's only there for the mayhem.
09:40This may be some sort of satirical Freudian parallel on id's part, but we're too busy
09:45getting neck-deep in demon guts to care.
09:47This self-aware lack of narrative may hinder the series in future, but as of right now,
09:52giving demons seems to be the only impetus anybody needs.
09:552.
09:56Pokemon Ruby Slash Sapphire, 2002
09:59The narrative in Game Freak's handheld Pokemon titles has more or less remained the same
10:04for the past two decades.
10:06Capture and train Pokemon, thwart rivals, and challenge the Elite Four to become the
10:10very best there ever was.
10:11Such is the case with Generation 3's Pokemon Ruby and Sapphire, taking place in the region
10:16of Hoenn.
10:17The player begins their adventure in the town of Little Root, and contests their rival May
10:21in a quest to become the greatest trainer around.
10:25Throughout their escapades, the player will come across some wannabe ne'er-do-wells associated
10:29with either Team Magma or Team Aqua, depending on the specific version of the game.
10:34Much like Team Rocket from the previous games, these guys are brewing some evil scheme which
10:38may put the world in peril.
10:40In this case, Team Magma wants to harness the powers of the legendary Pokemon Groudon
10:45so they can… expand the land.
10:47Likewise, Team Aqua wants to capture Kyogre so they can increase the amount of water in
10:52the region.
10:53A terrifying ambition if there ever was one.
10:55These guys are also wanted for the crimes of jaywalking and removing mattress tags.
11:001.
11:01Destiny, 2014
11:02Love it or hate it, Bungie's 2014 release Destiny has left its mark on the modern day
11:09video game market.
11:10Among the first to kick off the current MMO light craze, Destiny promised to pit players
11:14alongside and against each other as they travelled the solar system in an epic quest to destroy
11:20the Vex.
11:21It was one of the most hyped up releases of the past 10 decades, and according to many
11:26PlayStation fans, it failed to deliver, from a story perspective at least.
11:30It was too light on content and the story really didn't make a whole lot of sense.
11:34Packed with difficult-to-surmise plot elements and crammed with so many characters and factions
11:39with similar names that it was a challenge to tell them apart, Bungie sincerely failed
11:44to present a cohesive narrative.
11:46The cherry atop the failure sundae was actor Peter Dinklage's infamously flat vocal delivery.
11:52The voice behind the player's ever-present ghost companion, he was so bad, or had conflicts,
11:58that the studio later had industry legend Nolan North redo all of the lines.
12:02Unfortunately, the damage was already done, and Dinklebot's asinine voice clips will forever
12:07remain a meme in the Destiny community.
12:10That wizard came from the moon.
12:12That's the end of our list, but let me know down in the comment section if you can think
12:16of any other great video games with terrible storylines.
12:20As always, I've been Jess from WhatCulture, thank you so much for hanging out with me.
12:24If you like, you can come say hi to me on my Twitter account, where I'm at JessMcDonald,
12:29but make sure you stay tuned with here for plenty more great gaming content.