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Category
😹
FunTranscript
00:00I'll ask again, would you please marry me, Russian?
00:23I fear I must decline.
00:24Oh no!
00:25May I ask why?
00:26I swore to myself, I would never fall in love again, I'm sorry, but that's just the
00:37way it is.
00:38I understand.
00:39Then, we should consider getting married.
00:42Did you bother listening to a single word I said?
00:47I heard you, and yet I dared to dream.
00:49That's pretty tame, as far as dares go.
00:51If we get married, we'll have even more fun, because it's dangerous to go alone.
00:56Look, I'm glad you found this sudden surge of confidence, but my answer is still no.
01:00Why won't you say yes?
01:07Here they come!
01:19Now, Stein!
01:20I'm on it!
01:26Lightweight chumps.
01:36Russian!
01:37I won't let you die like this!
01:38I cast Curse of Hades!
01:39No!
01:40No!
01:41No!
01:42No!
01:43No!
01:44No!
01:45No!
01:46No!
01:47No!
01:48No!
01:49No!
01:50No!
01:51No!
01:52No!
01:53No!
01:54I cast Curse of Hades!
01:59Hey, dummy!
02:00That spell pulls aggro!
02:08Akko!
02:22Thanks, Russian!
02:23You stay back and worry about healing!
02:29Oh!
02:30Poopy!
02:34Hey, Master!
02:35What's the holdup?
02:39Sorry to keep you waiting.
02:42Behold!
02:43Witness the magnified firepower of my extra-buffed-up staff!
02:53No!
03:01Amazing, Master!
03:02Way to take out the mob traps!
03:04You one-hit KO'd the whole area?
03:06How much did you drop on that fancy staff of yours?
03:09Actually, I think it was from this little magic booster.
03:11When you buy ten, they throw in the eleven free.
03:13Don't use it on mobs.
03:14It's a waste.
03:17Then again, perhaps if I had been quicker, we wouldn't have had any unnecessary casualties.
03:23I'm so sorry, Russian!
03:25I'll bring you back right away!
03:28Revive!
03:39Please forgive me, Russian!
03:41Hey, it's fine.
03:42What's done is done.
03:43Thank you for not holding your death against me.
03:46I love you.
03:48Sweet.
03:49Thanks.
03:53Hmm.
04:10Breaking news!
04:12At long last, I have found myself a wife!
04:15You say the exact same crap every three months, Romeo.
04:18Oh yeah? Isn't your body pillow gonna be jealous?
04:20That's different, and you know it.
04:22Hey, Nishimura!
04:23Got any anime recommendations this season?
04:25You bet I do!
04:26This season's gonna be extra hot with the Dogra Magra Chronicles.
04:29You're pretty hardcore into this geek stuff, aren't ya?
04:32There's no use trying to hide it.
04:34Hide it? Hideki's an open otaku, man!
04:36So what's the big deal?
04:38I'm still into anime and video games.
04:40Get over it.
04:41Gross.
04:43The whole otaku appeal thing is absolutely revolting.
04:46How mean!
04:47Easy now, Akane.
04:48Wait, just think about it.
04:50There are wine otakus and flower otakus.
04:52You name it, someone somewhere is nerding out over it.
04:54And still you remain disgusted, Nishimura.
04:56Hey, take it easy!
04:58He doesn't need to hear that.
04:59We're all thinking the same, but still!
05:01You guys just made it, like, 20 times worse!
05:03How could you say that about me?
05:05You couldn't even try to sugarcoat it?
05:07Jeez, Akane!
05:08What would you know, four-eyes? I'm done listening to this!
05:11Okay, listen up!
05:13There's an all-school assembly today.
05:15It's time for everyone to head to the gym.
05:20Have you guys heard?
05:22Maeda in Class 3 told her he loved her.
05:24That dude's brave.
05:26And?
05:27He crashed and burned.
05:28Yeah, well, that's what happens.
05:30Seriously.
05:31I thought she'd be just your type.
05:33She's all cute and petite,
05:35and rocking the twins' hands.
05:38If she were the shy, standoffish type,
05:40but that chick's just straight-up mean.
05:43Keep talking like that and I'll punch your lips out your butt.
05:46I don't think she's bluffing.
05:50Sorry. Are you all right?
05:52I'm...
05:53Oh, no.
06:01She didn't have to do that.
06:11Good morning, everyone.
06:13I'm Student Council President Goshuin.
06:15I'd like to extend my gratitude to you all
06:17for attending this assembly.
06:20Bye. I'm home.
06:41The game that we play is an MMORPG
06:43called Legendary Age.
06:45It gets reduced to LA in most chat channels and game forums.
06:48It's a way to have some fun online.
06:50Parts of it cost actual money, but the core game is free.
06:53With multiple people accessing it at the same time,
06:55we can share in adventures in this virtual world.
07:03Do it now!
07:04So, anyway, I declared my love on a pier
07:06looking over a romantic sparkling lake.
07:08You mean he made the girl come out and say it?
07:10Wuss doesn't even begin to describe it.
07:13I can't believe he made you ask it.
07:15But he made up for it by giving me this gold ring
07:18that increases my resistance to all types of damage.
07:21Hey, guys, I pulled those mobs.
07:23I'll need a little help.
07:26I can't take if you're chatting!
07:35Are you okay, Rusian?
07:37Am I okay? Not really.
07:40Mostly because of your fumbling, Akko.
07:43You miss your targets and heal mobs.
07:45You get lost because you were too caught up in chatting.
07:48Do you have any idea what my armor repair costs have been because of you?
07:52Look, I'm really sorry.
07:54Well, my experience points were barely on the plus side,
07:56so it's no big deal.
07:58Rusian, you're so kind!
08:01You're an armored knight.
08:02Tanking is your responsibility.
08:04Though, even when you die, it doesn't affect
08:06this bad mama-jama in the slightest.
08:08If only our attacker knew what they were doing,
08:10then this wouldn't be a problem.
08:12You sucking's my fault?
08:14Please feel free to leave the mob annihilation to yours truly.
08:17I can do it.
08:20As long as I have my stash of pricey, real money-buffing items and artifacts,
08:23it won't be a problem!
08:25Lousy, stinking premium player scum.
08:29It's been nearly a year since the four of us formed this guild.
08:32We've done a lot of questing together.
08:35We get along pretty well, which makes playing together more fun.
08:39And Akko here is, for lack of a better term, my waifu.
08:43Although our marriage is only in the game,
08:45I just couldn't bring myself to turn her down again
08:47after the last time she proposed to me.
08:50So, in this fantasy world, I have a beautiful waifu,
08:54which does not match my luck with women in real life.
09:01I am now speaking directly into your mind
09:03so that we can have a little privacy.
09:05This is no time to be chatting with the other guild members.
09:08Instead, you should be paying attention to your loving wife.
09:11Your loving wife.
09:12Akko?
09:13Your loving wife.
09:14Hello?
09:15Man, she's always doing things her way.
09:17Seems like the two of you are stuck together like glue today, huh?
09:20It's just because Akko won't leave me alone.
09:22Like a couple normies.
09:24It's not real life, okay? It's just in the game, you get me?
09:27Sure, I guess.
09:29Now that I think of it, I might be the biggest normie here.
09:32The other day, someone declared their love for me IRL.
09:35For real?
09:37Shu must be a real looker.
09:39I always had a hunch.
09:40I know I shouldn't be, but I'm getting jealous.
09:43Good-looking guys can all piss off.
09:45Why don't you just shove off and die?
09:47Huh? Akko?
09:49Freaking normies are the absolute worst.
09:51And anybody who gets confessed to ought to just get out of the game.
09:54Just being close to one of them makes me sick to my stomach.
09:57And those are the worst normies.
10:00Just being close to one of them makes me sick to my stomach.
10:02And those are the people who can die off.
10:04They're nothing more than a plague on the rest of us.
10:07I said no, you psycho!
10:09This bat-mama-jam ain't got time for that stuff!
10:11You're creeping us all out. Calm down.
10:14Hey, Akko, come back to us!
10:17I freaking hate normie losers too, but you shouldn't take it out on your guildmates.
10:21Please forgive me, you guys.
10:23Sure, and I get what you were saying about normies.
10:26I feel the same way as you.
10:27By and large, I concur.
10:30This guild is too bent out of shape.
10:33I don't know. We've enjoyed some peace and quiet for a couple minutes now.
10:36Alright, fine! I'll just say it!
10:39Time after time, Rusty had rejected my love-filled proposals to join together in the bliss of digital matrimony.
10:44The stress of it all was shortening my life like a D.O.T.
10:49In the end, it all worked out okay, didn't it?
10:51But it's all about the journey!
10:52I made ten proposals and you turned me down each time!
10:55Ten times! Don't you have any common decency?
10:57Right, I get it.
11:00What say we just do a hard reset and start over from our first conversation?
11:06I was only kidding, my darling! I'm sorry!
11:08Please don't divorce me! I'm begging you!
11:11Hey, why didn't you say yes the first time she asked?
11:14In-game marriages are dumb. It's a role-playing mechanic I could do without.
11:18It's an online game, not the real flesh-and-blood world!
11:22It's not like you have a shot at getting married in real life anyway.
11:26Might as well go through with it in-game.
11:28So where do we draw the line? With A.I. babes?
11:30I know the real reason!
11:32Rucian once asked another player to get married here in the game world!
11:36He did? Oh.
11:38How could you say that? I was trying to keep that a secret!
11:43You have to tell us now, obviously.
11:53I'm begging you, my lady.
11:56Marry me. Give me thine hand!
12:01I'm afraid you'll have to count me out.
12:05I swear I am in love with you!
12:09Sorry, but I'm actually a guy in real life.
12:13I'm a middle-aged dude!
12:15At first I wanted to ogle a sexy avatar, but then I got caught up in cross-playing!
12:19I mean, what chick would say meow puns in real life?
12:22Not the kind of girl you'd want to date!
12:26Aaaaaah!
12:30Dammit, dammit!
12:32I swear I will never trust another girl I meet on the net again!
12:35For as long as I live!
12:42You guys don't have to laugh that hard!
12:44That chap, young'un, your life is beyond dark!
12:46The majesty of young love!
12:49Fart knockers.
12:50The thing is, Nekohime, the girl I first declared my love to, was super cute.
12:54Super cute, had good taste in equipment, was nice to everyone she played with, and played well!
12:59She was the ideal girl. I mean, girl character.
13:02The sheer shock of her revelation was devastating.
13:05To the point that I left the guild I was with, and for nearly a year after, I stuck with solo play exclusively.
13:13Then, in my solitude, I arrived at a certain truth.
13:18Who cares, as long as they're cute.
13:20Even if they are dudes in real life, I don't care, as long as they're cute in-game.
13:24Ultimately, it was the cuteness in the game I was enamored with.
13:27Yes, I discovered the horrible truth lurking on the web.
13:31Rucyan, are you mad at me?
13:34For telling everyone what happened with you and that cat girl.
13:36That kind of stuff happens all the time, so don't worry.
13:39Thank you so much, Rucyan!
13:42I love you.
13:45Just calm down. You gotta cool it, Hideki.
13:48You know from experience that if you take it too seriously, you'll only regret it.
13:52It makes sense. Now I see why you were so hesitant to agree.
13:55All this spouse stuff has nothing to do with me in real life.
13:58But in the world of the game, Akko is Akko.
14:00Just so you know, I actually am female.
14:03Yeah, fine. If you say so, then you are. At least to you, that is.
14:07No, no. In real life, I'm a nerdy nose-in-her-book kind of girl.
14:11Whoa, hold on. You shouldn't admit something like that in open chat, Akko.
14:15It's the greatest net taboo of all.
14:17I had no idea.
14:19Taboos are ludicrous.
14:21I, for example, am a high school girl in real life.
14:24You, Master? A high school girl? With that premium gear? Not a chance.
14:28Impossible.
14:29Seriously, no way.
14:31I'm pouring my heart out to my friends, and this is how you treat me?
14:34Actually, admitting it feels kind of nice.
14:37But what if we did this?
14:39Guild Alleycats First Offline Get-Together?
14:43To be held in real life?
14:55Guess they aren't here yet.
14:57And what are the odds that we're all pretty local?
14:59We've been a guild for almost a year now and never knew?
15:02I'm by the big picture.
15:04We're all pretty local.
15:05We've been a guild for almost a year now and never knew?
15:08I'm by the big tree in front of the station in a white t-shirt.
15:16Excuse me.
15:17Rucian?
15:19Um, yeah. That's me. I'm Rucian.
15:22I-I knew it was you.
15:24And I'm A-Akko from the game.
15:34Rucian
15:38Hi. Nice to meet you.
15:42Wow. Akko. The real Akko.
15:46Yes?
15:47You're a girl. In real life. You aren't just pretending.
15:53Rucian?
15:54Yeah?
15:56Wow, Rucian! It's really you! My husband, Rucian! Live in the flesh!
16:01Stop calling me by my username! What if someone I know sees us?
16:04You're Rucian?
16:07Nishimura? You're him?
16:09Wait! Segawa!
16:12You already know each other?
16:13Um, kinda. I mean, I've seen him before.
16:17Well, I'm glad to see everyone got here safely.
16:20It's you.
16:21Madam President?
16:23Not today. I'm not here as the Student Council President.
16:27But as the Alley Cat's Guild Master, the Wizard Apricot!
16:32You must be Rucian. And the one clinging to you, I assume, is Akko.
16:36Yeah, that's right.
16:37Wait, you said everyone...
16:42You? Your shvine?
16:44Hi, Shu. It's a pleasure to meet you.
16:46No! Don't call me that in public!
16:48No way.
16:49That's exactly what I was going to say!
16:51All right.
16:52It's time for the Guild Alley Cat's first offline get-together!
16:56Let's have fun!
16:58Rucian, it's you! I can barely believe it!
17:02You're warm and everything!
17:04You're making it sound like I'm a mannequin that came to life or something!
17:07Rucian! Rucian! Mighty noble Rucian!
17:10Please cut it out.
17:14He's Rucian, all right!
17:16How can you still be that happy after he just treated you so rudely?
17:19Now then, let's start off with proper introductions.
17:23My name is Kiyoko Shuin.
17:25I'm a second-year at Maegasaki High and the Student Council President.
17:29I came by on my way home from school, so excuse me for not dressing to the occasion.
17:33We're already good friends, but we're also meeting for the first time.
17:37Thus, as questing has forged our bonds of friendship,
17:40may socializing take it to the next level!
17:42Now it's your turn.
17:43Wait, me?
17:46I'm Akane Segawa.
17:48I'm a first-year at Maegasaki and...
17:51and well, here I am.
17:53I understand, Shuin.
17:55It must be embarrassing to go by a name like that in such a public place.
17:59Your name, Shuin, is actually the German word for pig.
18:03I doubt there are many young ladies out there who would want to be called that.
18:08No way.
18:10A pig?
18:12Shuin?
18:14I take it you've been using the name without knowing.
18:18Of course I didn't know!
18:20Who in their right mind would ever choose pig for a name?
18:22I just picked Shuin because it sounded cool!
18:24Poor Shu.
18:26My sympathies.
18:28I'm Akane Segawa.
18:30I'm a first-year at Maegasaki and...
18:32and well, here I am.
18:34I'm Akane Segawa.
18:36My sympathies.
18:38We've been playing together forever!
18:40How come you never said anything?
18:42I thought you chose a joke name on purpose.
18:47That's right.
18:48I'm the one you call Shuin.
18:50And anyone who starts calling me pig...
18:52gets stuck like a pig.
18:54That's all.
18:56All right, then. Rusian?
18:58Okay.
19:00So, hi there.
19:02I'm... I'm Rusian.
19:04It's totally embarrassing to introduce myself as my character.
19:06Don't worry, Nishimura.
19:08Your existence is an embarrassment.
19:10That's mean!
19:12Where was I?
19:14My name's Hideki Nishimura.
19:16I'm also a first-year at Maegasaki, but I'm not in any clubs.
19:18No special talents.
19:20My hobbies are online gaming.
19:22And that's it.
19:24Hi!
19:26My name is Ako.
19:28I always end up as a burden on you in Legendary Age.
19:30I'm sorry.
19:32Oh, and I'm also a first-year student
19:34at the same high school as the rest of you.
19:36So then we're classmates?
19:38That's right. I was pleasantly surprised as well.
19:40My full name is Ako Tamaki.
19:42So you can just keep calling me Ako
19:44like you always have.
19:46We're the same?
19:48Yes. Why, is that unusual?
19:50Well, it's kind of a net safety issue.
19:52Don't worry about it.
19:54How totally Ako.
19:58I'm not involved in any clubs.
20:00And I don't really have any friends at school.
20:04I tend to sit alone.
20:06Which gets the attention of the other students.
20:10It's alright, Ako.
20:12I'm student council president and I don't have any friends either.
20:14Hey, think about this.
20:16The four of us are friends.
20:18Yeah, he's right.
20:20I really appreciate it, you guys.
20:22I'm so happy to have friends
20:24that I can talk to.
20:26Friends that I can have fun with.
20:28I can't wait to see
20:30how far our guild can go.
20:40Oh, yeah.
20:42Segawa.
20:44What now?
20:46When we were chatting in the guild hall the other day
20:48you were telling us that some guy
20:50declared his love for you in real life, right?
20:52Yeah, that's right. So what about it?
20:54I just think it's kind of funny.
20:56Not really.
20:58Shu is a total normie.
21:00Shu is a total normie.
21:02Hey, Ako.
21:04Interesting.
21:06Let the record show that Shvine, unlike the rest of us,
21:08is a verified normie.
21:10You should pick us up in your minivan next time.
21:14Master, you too?
21:16Like I already said,
21:18I told the guy no.
21:20I'm not interested in going out with anyone.
21:22I've been told that Maeda from class three
21:24is just not your type?
21:26It's not that.
21:28If I had a dumb boyfriend, it would cut into
21:30my time playing video games.
21:32That's why you turned him down?
21:34You wouldn't seriously want something like that, would you?
21:36Definitely not for me.
21:38I'd turn him down.
21:40You genuinely would rather play video games?
21:42Damn straight. You got a problem with that?
21:44Nope. I definitely prefer this to who you are at school.
21:46I don't think I should take that statement as a compliment.
21:48I may have an idea to turn that around.
21:50So, Shu, have you ever considered
21:52getting married in the game?
21:54Rucyn and I did, and we've been having fun ever since.
21:56You wouldn't lose any gaming time that way.
21:58Plus, you'd be spending time with the one you love.
22:00It's a total twofer.
22:02I think I'll pass, thanks.
22:04It sounds gross.
22:06That's mean.
22:08I think it's a great idea. Right, Rucyn?
22:10Yeah, but I can still hardly believe it myself.
22:14Akko, you're so...
22:22Hmm.
22:26I have a living, breathing girl as my 2D wife.
22:28Oh, Rucyn!