EP 6 And you thought there is never a girl online [Eng Dub]

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Category

😹
Fun
Transcript
00:00Was right after my proposal to Nekohime was rejected, my friend Yuyin and I were talking.
00:04Sara-Sara, my wife, one of her alt-tunes just got married to some other man.
00:10It's okay if it's a different character, right?
00:12No, it isn't! She's cheating on me!
00:14She probably just married her alt-off for the spousal stat bonus.
00:18Some players take the in-game marriage mechanics more casually than others.
00:22But not me! I actually fell in love with her, man!
00:25I guess Sara-Sara and I are over.
00:30Maybe.
00:33This isn't fair.
00:35I refuse to be alone in my suffering.
00:38So I begged your sweet Nekohime to tell me the reason she rejected your marriage proposal!
00:43Hang on! You did what?
00:44The first, I am not the slightest bit interested in getting married in the game.
00:49Um...
00:50The second, Rousian is not the only suit or fight for my affection in the game.
00:56And lastly, I am a man and have no desire to miaowry another man!
01:03Soul-crushing. Why did I ask her to marry me?
01:06Word! Getting married is lame sauce!
01:08I'm never doing that crap again!
01:10Yeah, same goes for me.
01:12WE DON'T NEED NO STINKING MARRIAGES!
01:18Since then, Yuyin has married and divorced two other cross-playing characters.
01:25This makes wedding number three.
01:32And that's how it went down.
01:33I'm not gonna divorce you.
01:35That was quick.
01:37What I was getting at was some people have different stances on marriage.
01:40Of course, but that doesn't change how much I love you, Rousian.
01:45Right, well, that goes for me too.
01:47Look, I mean, not just in the game world...
01:53Rousian?
01:57Off to bed! Night, Akko!
01:59Oh, yeah. Good night.
03:16A
03:42great sneeze issued from the man.
03:44With great effort, the man rose to his feet.
03:47Good. Now, you're next, Rousian.
03:52I'm sorry! Nishimura.
04:05Check it out! This one looks nice, doesn't it?
04:08I think this look is more your style.
04:11Hmm...
04:13Either way you go, they're both really cute options.
04:20Rousian!
04:23Are you listening to this, Rousian?
04:25It's awful!
04:27It's all right. You can tell me all about it later.
04:32Just look at this!
04:33It's like a whirlwind of smug faces all selling makeup and clothing that says
04:37I am the model that reigns supreme at the top of the high school caste system!
04:40Kneel before me in despair!
04:42Do other girls actually enjoy reading this garbage?
04:44Yes, I do.
04:45If you're going to be rough with my magazine, then you can't borrow it anymore.
04:48Wait, this is yours?
04:49Yeah, it's mine.
04:50Got a problem?
04:51No.
04:52All right, Akko.
04:53Listen carefully.
04:54You're looking at it the wrong way.
04:56Try to think of magazines like this as a kind of real-life
04:59offline high school girl strategy wiki.
05:01Wiki?
05:02That's right.
05:03Just crack this sucker open and it gives you a complete walkthrough
05:05on proper skincare and ideal makeup application.
05:08That's not all.
05:09It covers the minimum as far as brand names and celebs you should know.
05:12Everything you need to be a high school girl in real life.
05:14Guess you're right.
05:16That sounds important.
05:17Wait, you bought that?
05:18Reading a strategy guide ahead of time helps you have a better understanding of the game.
05:21Wouldn't you agree?
05:23But I always liked the joy of discovery from playing blind.
05:27You should have gotten over the LA blind play honeymoon phase a year ago!
05:30Right now in the offline world, the only ones looking for group are high-level elites.
05:35And they only recruit players with a comprehensive knowledge of the end game.
05:38No, I can't handle it, stage games!
05:40Why resist it?
05:42Real-life offline runs 24 hours a day, so we better get good at it while we can.
05:47I have some countless hours into it.
05:49And if you don't start trying, you'll never catch up.
05:52Stop it!
05:53Please stop it.
05:58Sorry I'm late, guys.
06:01Is something wrong?
06:03Not really.
06:05Hahaha, I understand, Akko.
06:09I know just how you feel.
06:11You too, Master?
06:12I'll go talk to Nanako and ask her to tone it down next time.
06:17Moving right along.
06:18What are we doing today?
06:21Hey, I've got an idea for what we should do.
06:23Why don't we join up with Sete and get that quest out of the way?
06:27Good idea.
06:30I've got to be around Ms. Cotton Candy Head in the game now, too.
06:33Try to see things from a different point of view.
06:36In Legendary Age, you're a higher level than her.
06:39Yeah, that's true, but still...
06:58All too easy.
06:59This was a beginner's quest for job advancement.
07:02A mere walk in the park for us.
07:04All right, there you go.
07:06The glowing thing.
07:07I just have to touch it?
07:08Yup.
07:09After that, just click yes.
07:10Got it.
07:12Sete has received the Divine Beast Power.
07:33You're a summoner now.
07:37Great.
07:38So, can I conjure up my own pet?
07:40Open up your skill panel and summoning should be a new addition.
07:43Next, you should consider your play style and choose a pet accordingly.
07:46I'll take this one.
07:48It's the perfect pet.
07:50Summoning!
07:53At least she's not indecisive.
07:59How adorable!
08:01Aw, I think I'm gonna name you Wutang.
08:04You can't be serious.
08:06That's the same name as your dog at home.
08:12Have you researched summoning?
08:13Because generally, it's a job chosen by veteran players.
08:17I love animals, so I thought, bingo!
08:20Using your pet to draw the enemy's focus while you attack it from the rear?
08:23This bad mamma jamma's more direct.
08:26Mamma jamma!
08:27Would you drop it already?
08:29Hey, I'm sorry!
08:31You just never talk like that in real life.
08:33You've been playing the game for a couple of weeks now, right?
08:36Time to let it go.
08:37Yeah, I guess you're right.
08:43So let me ask you this.
08:44Have you even bothered to look at the strategy page I sent you?
08:48I read it, but didn't understand.
08:50Whenever I don't understand something, Nishimura...
08:53I mean, Rucian is the one I go to for advice.
08:56Yeah, and take a long look at the result!
08:59You hit the wrong button to disarm the trap and blew us all up!
09:03You attacked that boss monster when our healer was out of mana and caused a party wipe!
09:07My bad.
09:08You paying attention, Akko?
09:10It's just like real life!
09:11This is the result of ignorance!
09:13I understand, Shu!
09:14I'll do anything in my power not to end up like that!
09:17That isn't the nicest way to talk to our new friend.
09:20I can't believe you guys seem so relaxed.
09:23About what?
09:24You know, final exams.
09:26They're coming up soon.
09:30I guess it is about that time of year.
09:32Uh-huh.
09:34For the time being, our club is on temporary hiatus.
09:38The clubroom is off-limits until testing is over.
09:41That should give us all a chance to study up.
09:44How can you be so calm, Master?
09:46I'm a good student and I excel at test-taking.
09:49The worst part is that it's totally true.
09:52After we finish final exams, it's off to summer vacation!
09:57You planning something?
09:59What, like an event?
10:00Yes, something for us to look forward to.
10:02Um, I know it's exam week,
10:05but we're still free to log in from home, aren't we?
10:07I'll leave that entirely to your discretion.
10:10Besides, everybody needs the occasional break from studying.
10:19If we're not having any club meetings,
10:21then I've lost one of my main reasons for going to school.
10:23Maybe I could just study at home until the test.
10:26No, you've gotta go!
10:27If you miss any more days, it might hurt your grade.
10:29I guess you're right,
10:30but I was only coming to school for club meetings anyways.
10:33There goes my motivation.
10:35You won't be able to participate in club activities if you flunk.
10:38Push through to the other side.
10:40This sucks.
10:42I only go to school to do club stuff,
10:44and now I can't do club stuff because of school?
10:47How odd.
10:49You can pass the test if you try,
10:51and I'll push you the whole way.
10:53Yeah, go team!
10:54You can push me like this all the way home!
10:57Stop leaning back, you royal dorkness!
11:02Still, it's almost summer vacation time.
11:05Summer vacation...
11:07I've got a lot to do before then.
11:09Oh no.
11:10What?
11:11We've got tests to pass before then.
11:15Tests.
11:17What?
11:18You are ready for them, right?
11:21Akko?
11:21Personally, I dream of being a homemaker.
11:27So how did you do on your midterms?
11:30Like B's or C's?
11:31Or maybe D's?
11:32They can't have all been F's.
11:36Seriously?
11:40What to do?
11:41If she gets stuck doing summer school,
11:43how am I supposed to declare my love for her?
11:44What are you mumbling about?
11:47Oh, hey, Yamizuki.
11:48Hey yourself.
11:49Are you doing anything?
11:51I could use a little help studying.
11:53Studying?
11:55She needs help with studying.
11:58That's it!
12:00Hold on!
12:01Is that a no?
12:15Excellent idea.
12:16Glad to hear you agree.
12:17That seems like it would be the most effective option.
12:19Come on, you guys!
12:20No way!
12:21Why are you all conspiring against me?
12:34Next question.
12:35What is the name of the law where the government allotted farmland
12:38and levied taxes on it?
12:40The Honda and Shuji law.
12:41That's correct.
12:43Make sure that you know how to write that in kanji.
12:46I've had enough of Japanese history!
12:48I've got kanji ricocheting inside my head!
12:50All right, then.
12:51We can move on to math.
12:52This bad mama jam is gonna tutor you.
12:55But I hate math even more!
13:02My icicle wall will make sure you can't worm your way out of this study session.
13:06This is cruel and unusual!
13:08I wanted to play the game, but here we are wasting our time with studying!
13:12It's the only way we could get you to do it.
13:14What are you complaining for?
13:15You've got all of your friends here to help you with this.
13:18We don't want to lose you, so we're going to make sure you get passing grades.
13:21Who really cares about the first term anyway?
13:23I'll just take a couple makeup courses over the summer break!
13:25No, you won't!
13:27The teachers have their hands full with entrance examinees.
13:31They don't have time to give makeup classes for freshmen.
13:34If you don't like math, work on Japanese.
13:37Just a second, please.
13:38You're a teacher in real life.
13:40Doesn't that make this a makeup class?
13:41I'm not a teacher in the game.
13:43I'm just Nekohime!
13:45Hey, Nishimura?
13:47What is my name?
13:48Sorry, Rusian.
13:49What's all this about Nekohime actually being a teacher?
13:53That answer's not on the test.
13:54So hey, let's listen to what she has to say.
13:58Okay!
13:59When I look at all those long, difficult sentences, it makes my brain start to ache.
14:03But essay writing is essential!
14:08Hang in there, Akko.
14:12All right, begin.
14:17Our test days are finally over.
14:19Come on, Akko.
14:20Pull yourself together.
14:23I had Akko's answer sheets graded first,
14:25and it looks like she passed every one of them!
14:28No makeup classes or anything?
14:30That's awesome!
14:30I'd say all our effort has finally paid off!
14:33Isn't that great, Akko?
14:35Sure is.
14:36Now I can finally go home.
14:38I'm so happy.
14:39I'm so happy.
14:40I'm so happy.
14:41I'm so happy.
14:41I'm so happy.
14:42I'm so happy.
14:43I'm so happy.
14:44I'm so happy.
14:44I'm so happy.
14:45I'm so happy.
14:45I'm so happy.
14:46Now let's go do some grinding.
14:49Hey, hold on.
14:50You still seem a little woozy.
14:52You need to catch up on your sleep.
14:55I'm fine.
14:56And just because tests are over,
14:58it doesn't mean you're allowed to skip school again.
15:00I understand.
15:01I'll log off now.
15:03Good night, everyone.
15:05Sleep tight.
15:05Yeah, you too.
15:07Night.
15:08I have a stack of papers to grade.
15:10I'm out too.
15:12I can hear my bed calling my name.
15:15Yeah, ditto.
15:16Could both of you hang on a sec?
15:19I need to ask your advice about something.
15:39Yeah, so...
15:43I've decided to tell Akko I love her.
15:46So how should I do it?
15:50Huh?
15:51Laggy?
15:54I want to declare my love for Akko.
15:56How do you think I should?
15:58Don't ask us twice.
15:59We heard you.
16:00Then what was that ridiculously long pause all about?
16:03It's just so beyond too late.
16:04We didn't know how to respond.
16:05Moron.
16:06You're too slow on the draw.
16:08Your timing's all mixed up.
16:09Oh, well, it's almost summer vacation, you know?
16:12We won't see each other as much outside the game.
16:14I see.
16:15You want to create lifelong memories of youthful summer passion?
16:19Yeah, I guess.
16:20Sure thing, buddy.
16:21You go right ahead and try that out.
16:23Good luck.
16:24Well said.
16:24This whole matter is between you and Akko.
16:27There's nothing we can say that you don't already know.
16:29How can you both be so cold-hearted?
16:31Like, what if she turns me down?
16:33So don't tell her you love her.
16:35No, I have to.
16:37You're being a total pain.
16:38Indeed.
16:39However, given the circumstances, I don't see her rejecting your confession.
16:43She's probably right.
16:44And the sooner you do it, the better your odds are going to be.
16:47Akko's not the type to shoot her husband down.
16:49You mean it?
16:50You're not just messing with me?
16:52Yes, I mean it.
16:54Yeah, all right.
16:55But I shouldn't do something this important over the phone.
16:58This is new territory.
16:59I've never really declared my love to anybody before.
17:03You're both real-life girls.
17:04What should I do?
17:06Yes, that's a good question.
17:07Surely you've been popular with the boys.
17:09Quite the opposite.
17:10I've actually never had a boyfriend before.
17:12So thanks for bringing that up.
17:14Yikes.
17:15And you, Shu?
17:16Guys have declared their love for you, right?
17:18And I've turned them all down.
17:20So talk to me if you need advice on getting rejected.
17:23I'm good, but thanks.
17:25Let's be honest.
17:26We're all still too young to have any real history or experience with romance.
17:31But we can still help.
17:33We'll think of ways to declare your love that would leave any girl speechless.
17:36Yes, that's perfect.
17:39And throughout your summer,
17:41I hope you all will remember to uphold the proud standards of Miyagi Saki Academy.
17:47Ladies and gentlemen,
17:48I hope you have a safe and productive summer.
17:51Bow.
17:53See you.
17:54Let's stop for some snacks.
17:55Don't mind if I do.
17:59It's time for our last club meeting.
18:01Oh, yeah.
18:02See you later, Akko.
18:04With a beautiful face like yours, I might actually miss coming to school.
18:07We should hang.
18:09Sorry, who are you?
18:11Mega Bird.
18:13May a soul find peace.
18:15The final club meeting for the first term begins.
18:18We won't be doing anything special.
18:20Guild Alley Cats will continue operating,
18:22but there will be no club meetings during our vacation.
18:25This summer, let's be sure to enjoy our net games in moderation.
18:28Yeah.
18:29One more thing.
18:34This weekend, the Net Game Club will be holding a club camp.
18:38Wow, that's so soon.
18:39I can hardly wait.
18:41A freaking Net Game Club camp?
18:44One thing is needed to excel.
18:46Well, two.
18:47Cash for premium items.
18:49But the player's physical fitness is most important.
18:51Thus, life at this camp will be primarily spent outdoors.
18:55Brace yourselves for training.
18:58That's just what kids your age need.
19:00Naturally, I will be accompanying you.
19:03Looks like some beach time is on the schedule, too.
19:06I guess we're gonna need our swimsuits.
19:08Yeah, I guess so.
19:12If you follow this advice, then it's bound to go as smooth as sat.
19:18I wish you good fortune.
19:20Bruce-yan, what kind of swimsuits do you like?
19:23I assume you're into the school one-pieces.
19:24What do you mean, you assume?
19:26I don't think I've ever said anything like that.
19:28I know, but as long as I have my trusty old school swimsuit,
19:31I'll make all the boys turn into mindless animals.
19:33You seem real sure of yourself.
19:36My mistake, then.
19:37School swimsuits have no effect.
19:39I don't really know.
19:40I think the regular ones are just fine.
19:45Um, so hey, you mind if we stop in this park for a minute?
19:50Sure, that sounds nice.
20:00So, what's up?
20:06Gopher broke!
20:07Damn it, Master! You're always screwing around!
20:14Don't let me down, Segawa!
20:15Create a nice mood! Confess!
20:18Jackpot! Cha-ching!
20:21I'll cha-ching your head, useless morons.
20:25Question, if you were trying to set a nice mood, what would you do?
20:30The best way for me to be in a nice mood is spending time with you, Bruce-yan.
20:34I mean, we are a couple, after all.
20:38Hmph.
20:41Ako?
20:45Uh, would you?
20:55Would you?
20:58Would you be my girlfriend?
21:07No, thanks.
21:14Gopher...
22:07Hmph.
22:37Goodness gracious, and so on.
22:51It seems she waited too long.
22:53That's the end of our song.
22:54It's just all too much.
22:56Ako destroyed me, and I loved her like crazy, too.
23:00Strange.
23:01It seems our song had no effect.
23:03I don't know.
23:03I think he's all right.
23:05No, I'm not.
23:06I just want to die.
23:07Now's my chance.
23:09Goodbye, cruel world.
23:11Hey, Ako.
23:12It's you.
23:13Nishimura said something to you, didn't he?
23:16Hey, come on!
23:17What do you think you're doing?
23:18Corpse-kicking?
23:19What's next?
23:20Tea-bagging?
23:21So, what did Ako have to say?
23:24Well, um...
23:26He asked me if I wanted to be his girlfriend.
23:29So, what did you say to him?
23:31I said no.
23:32Of course, what else would I say?
23:34I mean, I would consider going from wife to girlfriend in a motion, wouldn't you?
23:38Either that, or it means we're getting a divorce, and I definitely don't want that.
23:45Well, there you have it.
23:47Put simply, your declaration fell through.
23:49Tough luck.
23:57Hold on a second!
23:58When it comes to relationships, I'm obviously the most qualified consultant.
24:01Why didn't you come out?
24:03Why didn't you come ask me?
24:04Oh, no, I couldn't do that.
24:06Why not?

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