Sex_ 18+Lez_Bomb (One Of The Best Lesbian Movie)

Fun4every1

**Lez Bomb: A Heartfelt Holiday Comedy**  "Lez Bomb" is a delightful holiday comedy that tells the story of a young woman, Laine, who is ready to come out to her conservative family during Thanksgiving. As Laine prepares to introduce her girlfriend, the chaos unfolds. The film beautifully captures the tension and humor that arise when family dynamics clash with personal truths, all set against the backdrop of a festive holiday gathering.  The movie explores themes of love, acceptance, and the challenges of being true to oneself in a society that often expects conformity. With a blend of laugh-out-loud moments and poignant scenes, "Lez Bomb" resonates with anyone who has ever struggled with their identity or faced the complexities of family relationships.  Featuring a talented cast and a fresh perspective on the coming-out narrative, "Lez Bomb" combines humor with heartfelt messages about self-acceptance and the importance of being open with loved ones. The film invites viewers to celebrate diversity in love and the importance of being authentic, especially during the holidays.  **Hashtags:**   #LezBomb #LGBTQFilm #HolidayComedy #ComingOut #FamilyDrama #SelfAcceptance #LoveIsLove #ThanksgivingMovie #IndieFilm #RepresentationMatters

Transcript

00:00:00I've not been myself through this dry spell, no, no

00:00:10Then it happened, I reckon you recall

00:00:15I caught you laughing, in the face of a wrecking ball

00:00:19You gave an OK sign, blew my mind forever

00:00:26I just had to let you know

00:00:30That even if you need to go

00:00:35We'll always have the union hall

00:00:40I'll always love you most of all

00:01:10Does your mom have a favorite flower?

00:01:12Uh, she loves those red gerber flowers.

00:01:15Do you have a favorite flower?

00:01:21I don't know.

00:01:24Well, when you dated people in the past, what kind of flower, um, what kind of flower did they give you?

00:01:31I think I've given more flowers than I've received.

00:01:34What?

00:01:36Really?

00:01:37Yes.

00:01:38No.

00:01:39Yes.

00:01:40Well, you'll have to let me be the one to give you flowers.

00:01:51You don't understand people.

00:01:53Who steals a doormat?

00:01:55How you do?

00:01:56Um, I'm missing doormats and losing my mind.

00:02:00You know what I'm saying.

00:02:01This is your first Thanksgiving, not today.

00:02:04Hey.

00:02:05Hey.

00:02:07Why are you huddled outside my door?

00:02:09You're coming to the office to pay, sweetie.

00:02:12I'm waiting for my daughter to come and bring me the cash.

00:02:15I'll bring it tomorrow.

00:02:16Tomorrow's Thanksgiving.

00:02:19Excuse me.

00:02:20Can I help you?

00:02:22I don't know.

00:02:23Who are you?

00:02:24Rose.

00:02:25This is my motel.

00:02:27Oh.

00:02:29Yeah.

00:02:30I'm just lost.

00:02:31Okay.

00:02:32Thought it was a diner, but no.

00:02:35All good.

00:02:36Thanks.

00:02:37Bye.

00:02:38Bye.

00:02:44What the hell was that?

00:02:46I've seen that van before.

00:02:48You gotta tell me this stuff.

00:02:50What stuff?

00:02:51Suspicious stuff.

00:02:52Your brother is the most suspicious thing around here.

00:02:56That's true.

00:02:58All right.

00:03:05I like you in an apron.

00:03:07Don't get used to it.

00:03:09So, I've been thinking about something.

00:03:11Oh, yeah? What?

00:03:12I think maybe you and I should go on a trip.

00:03:17Oh, yeah? Where do you want to go?

00:03:19I don't know.

00:03:20Maybe somewhere for me.

00:03:22Ladies, are we interrupting something?

00:03:24This is Mimi.

00:03:26Hi.

00:03:27Mimi, this is my roommate Lauren and Haley.

00:03:30I have to pee.

00:03:32I'm sorry.

00:03:33The bathroom is down the hall.

00:03:41Your bum smells good.

00:03:42What are we cooking?

00:03:43Berry crumble for tomorrow.

00:03:45What are your Thanksgiving plans?

00:03:46What are you doing?

00:03:47Mimi invited me to a potluck in Brooklyn with some friends.

00:03:50So, I don't know.

00:03:51I'm weighing my options.

00:03:52Oh.

00:03:53Yeah.

00:03:55No, no, no, no.

00:03:56Stop.

00:03:57Hey, Mrs. Anderson.

00:03:58No, no.

00:03:59Austin, seriously.

00:04:00Give me the phone.

00:04:01Oh, why, thank you.

00:04:02Give me the phone.

00:04:04Hi, Mom.

00:04:05Yeah.

00:04:07I'll call you back.

00:04:09Mrs. Anderson.

00:04:10Austin.

00:04:11Watch out.

00:04:14Hey, it's nice to see you too, Haley.

00:04:17Always a pleasure, Austin.

00:04:21I'm going to check the crumble.

00:04:27What the hell?

00:04:30Oh.

00:04:34Looking for a diner, my ass.

00:04:36What's wrong?

00:04:41My brother.

00:04:43He's up to something.

00:04:44Well, you got to fire him.

00:04:46I can't fire my brother.

00:04:47We're supposed to keep him out of trouble.

00:04:49Are you eating blueberry pie?

00:04:51First of all, it's only 147 calories per slice.

00:04:53Yeah.

00:04:54Second of all, it's a superfood.

00:04:57And you're a superman, but it's for tomorrow.

00:05:00Not this slice.

00:05:02Okay, did you watch the turkey carving video?

00:05:05Well, I did and I didn't.

00:05:08Dad always carved the turkey.

00:05:10Oh, come here.

00:05:12I know.

00:05:13I'll watch the video, I promise.

00:05:14And I miss him too.

00:05:16He's the only one that wouldn't fight me for the dark meat.

00:05:19Please watch the video.

00:05:20I will, I swear.

00:05:21I mean, how else am I going to know how to carve a dumb turkey?

00:05:24I still love you, though.

00:05:26Yeah, I love you too.

00:05:30What are we supposed to do with that?

00:05:41No.

00:05:42Hey, Mom.

00:05:43You didn't call me back.

00:05:45Sorry.

00:05:46Austin sent a smoked turkey again.

00:05:49I'm making my turkey, too.

00:05:50How much turkey does he think we eat?

00:05:52I have no idea.

00:05:53I mean, he's not even coming this year.

00:05:54What's with the Wi-Fi?

00:05:56You know, sweetie, technologically, that doesn't do anything.

00:05:59Did you have a nice night?

00:06:00Yeah, just hanging out with Haley.

00:06:02When are we meeting the boyfriend?

00:06:04Soon.

00:06:05When soon?

00:06:06Mom.

00:06:07When are you and your friend coming tomorrow?

00:06:08I need a game plan.

00:06:09I don't like surprises.

00:06:11I'm coming at, like, 10.

00:06:13She's coming a little later.

00:06:14Okay, okay.

00:06:15I love you.

00:06:16Bye.

00:06:17I love you too.

00:06:18Bye.

00:06:21She doesn't like surprises.

00:06:24Surprise.

00:06:25I'm not a boyfriend.

00:06:26Right.

00:06:27What should I wear tomorrow?

00:06:28I don't know.

00:06:29Just casual, comfortable.

00:06:31My family's super comfortable.

00:06:33Pajamas?

00:06:34Funny.

00:06:35What are you going to say to them?

00:06:37Mom, Dad, I have a girlfriend.

00:06:39She'll be here, like, real soon.

00:06:41Are you sure you don't want me to come with you?

00:06:43Yeah.

00:06:44I don't want to bombard them.

00:06:58Immediate gratification

00:07:03In the digital age

00:07:06What a shame

00:07:09You can go

00:07:12Right out of your mind

00:07:15Searching for substance

00:07:17In this empty life

00:07:19Whoa

00:07:22Where will we go?

00:07:25Whoa

00:07:28God bless our soul

00:07:31Whoa

00:07:36Did you watch the video yet?

00:07:38I'm on it.

00:07:40I want grandchildren.

00:07:42Okay.

00:07:43I don't want to be 80 chasing around a five-year-old.

00:07:45No.

00:07:46I'm still vivacious.

00:07:47Yes, you are.

00:07:49How do we get old?

00:07:50Nobody's old.

00:07:51Who's old?

00:07:53Yesterday, I was getting high and listening to the Beatles.

00:07:55Well, yeah, that's what you did.

00:07:57Lauren's walking?

00:07:58Why would she walk?

00:08:00I have no idea.

00:08:01Who walks?

00:08:11What are you doing?

00:08:12Why didn't you call for a ride?

00:08:14Sorry, I just wanted to walk, clear my head.

00:08:16I was doing a round of beads chanting.

00:08:18All right, well, let me help my favorite daughter.

00:08:20Only daughter.

00:08:21A little heads up.

00:08:22Your mama's just talking about grandchildren.

00:08:24What grandchildren?

00:08:25Exactly.

00:08:26What are you chanting?

00:08:27Hare Krishna.

00:08:28If I see you with a tambourine begging for money, I swear to God.

00:08:32Mom.

00:08:33Oh, God.

00:08:34Do you think we can hide this today?

00:08:36Lauren, why?

00:08:37Um, Mom, I'm in a relationship.

00:08:40Right, that mystery, man.

00:08:42You're embarrassed to bring home.

00:08:44Help me with the carrots.

00:08:45Before we get going with the carrots, I want to talk to you about...

00:08:47Yes.

00:08:48Tell me, tell me, tell me.

00:08:49I keep asking.

00:08:50Well, I wanted to make sure it was serious.

00:08:52And?

00:08:53It's, you know, what are you doing?

00:08:55Just checking.

00:08:56You see what he's doing?

00:08:57He's checking his stash.

00:08:59Stash?

00:09:00Of cookies.

00:09:01He wants to see how many I've eaten.

00:09:03I found the most amazing almond cookie.

00:09:05Unfortunately, she also loves them.

00:09:07The woman can whack a box in a day.

00:09:09Oh, excuse you, I do not.

00:09:11Peel.

00:09:12Talk and peel.

00:09:13You know, it's important for you guys to know that, like,

00:09:15having feelings for someone, it can take you by surprise.

00:09:18I mean, that you might not expect.

00:09:20I mean, it took me by surprise.

00:09:22Right.

00:09:23And so, I was thinking that...

00:09:25What the...

00:09:26Who the hell could that be?

00:09:27If your parents are four hours early, I will literally scream.

00:09:31Can you get that?

00:09:32I...

00:09:33Can you...

00:09:36They did this before.

00:09:37When?

00:09:39365 days ago.

00:09:44What are you doing?

00:09:45Just stretching it out.

00:09:46Last night was a feat of physical dexterity with Mimi.

00:09:49No.

00:09:50What are you doing here?

00:09:51You can't be here.

00:09:52Yeah, your mom invited me.

00:09:53When?

00:09:54Last night, on the phone.

00:09:55She said if I...

00:09:56My plans fell through, I was more than welcome to come and join you guys.

00:09:57You're not.

00:09:58What happened to the pop-up?

00:09:59I don't want Mimi thinking I want anything serious.

00:10:01Besides, Thanksgiving alone would be so depressing.

00:10:03And your family loves me.

00:10:04Austin, I'm trying to come out.

00:10:06On Thanksgiving?

00:10:07Yeah, that's pretty crazy.

00:10:09Austin!

00:10:10Hey!

00:10:11I didn't know you were coming.

00:10:12Surprise!

00:10:13Oh, this is great.

00:10:14Did you get the turkey?

00:10:15No wonder you sent the turkey.

00:10:17Okay, I understand.

00:10:20Oh, no.

00:10:21Austin!

00:10:22Come on in.

00:10:23Make yourself at home.

00:10:24That turkey was very thoughtful.

00:10:26See, I'm thoughtful.

00:10:29This is so great.

00:10:30No, he's not the boyfriend.

00:10:31How did this happen?

00:10:32No, no, no.

00:10:33Lady, this is great.

00:10:34I love him.

00:10:35Mom, no, no.

00:10:36Isn't there a song like...

00:10:37Are you my best friend?

00:10:39Are you my lover?

00:10:40I don't know that song.

00:10:41Isn't there a song like that?

00:10:42No.

00:10:43Come on.

00:10:44Okay, fine.

00:10:50Morning, Mr. Anderson.

00:10:54Okay, Lauren, I need your focus.

00:10:57Mom, I need your focus.

00:10:58Peel.

00:10:59Oh, what are you doing?

00:11:00Having breakfast.

00:11:01Pie is not breakfast.

00:11:03Blueberries.

00:11:04With sugar and butter.

00:11:06Talk sentient to your father.

00:11:08That pie is not breakfast.

00:11:09So good.

00:11:10I can't serve that now.

00:11:12Are you eating meat these days?

00:11:13No, Mom.

00:11:14I was really hoping that was a phase.

00:11:16What are you doing?

00:11:18Guys, I really need to talk to the two of you alone.

00:11:21Whatever you have to say, you can say it in front of Austin.

00:11:23He's family.

00:11:24I mean, is he?

00:11:25That's a legitimate question.

00:11:26Oh, sweetie, you can't just dump...

00:11:29You need to measure...

00:11:30Shh, shh, shh, shh.

00:11:31Okay.

00:11:32What's on your mind?

00:11:33Talk, talk, talk.

00:11:34Last night, Hayley and I went to this alpaca festival.

00:11:36Yes, I saw a picture on Instagram.

00:11:38I liked it.

00:11:39Yeah, you are all over my social media.

00:11:40What is it?

00:11:41What is that supposed to mean?

00:11:42Nothing.

00:11:43I've got to get a broom.

00:11:44You went to an alpaca meeting?

00:11:46Alpac.

00:11:47It's a super PAC for lesbians, for women in power.

00:11:50It's a political power thing.

00:11:51Since when are you into politics?

00:11:53And lesbians.

00:11:54Can we please stay focused?

00:11:56We went to this alpac thing, and then we came home,

00:11:59and we made this fairy crumble together, and...

00:12:01You have got to take one of these brooms.

00:12:03We just got them at the motel.

00:12:05So you're a feminist now.

00:12:06They are freaking great.

00:12:07I'm just trying to stay informed.

00:12:08Oh, Hayley's not informing you?

00:12:09That's a bummer.

00:12:10Feel it, sweetie.

00:12:11Yeah, go on.

00:12:12Feel the broom.

00:12:14Feel it.

00:12:15They got to feel good.

00:12:16When they feel good,

00:12:17they pick up all the stuff on the floor.

00:12:19You're taking one back.

00:12:20Women have to gather to rally.

00:12:22Because you're not a woman.

00:12:23Uh-huh.

00:12:24Yeah, she can ignore me.

00:12:25You can't.

00:12:26Yeah, I'll take one.

00:12:27Got a broom.

00:12:28It's important to keep the home clean.

00:12:30Mom, me and Austin, we don't have a home.

00:12:32We don't have a home.

00:12:33I am not against women.

00:12:35Oh, my God!

00:12:36Why are you yelling?

00:12:37Whatever you have to say, we support you.

00:12:39George, we love Austin, right?

00:12:41Do we?

00:12:42Austin, come with me now.

00:12:43We're going upstairs.

00:12:48No wonder you sent the turkey.

00:12:49This is very exciting.

00:12:50I just wish you would have had the decency to ask

00:12:53before moving in together.

00:12:55They were already living together, so...

00:12:58As roommates.

00:12:59But this?

00:13:00They're in love.

00:13:01Living in sin?

00:13:02Sweetie, this is the 21st century.

00:13:04These things just happen.

00:13:06These things don't just happen to my daughter.

00:13:09Fix this.

00:13:10And tell them you're a scissor sister?

00:13:11No way.

00:13:12No, tell them we're not dating, Austin.

00:13:13Tell them you're a lesbian.

00:13:14Two birds, one stone.

00:13:15This is not funny.

00:13:17Okay, come on.

00:13:22Take a deep breath.

00:13:25Relax.

00:13:27You're like a balloon.

00:13:29Let me be your string.

00:13:31Baby girl, I'm having a crisis.

00:13:33Does this make me look fat?

00:13:34This says fat, right?

00:13:35Don't answer that.

00:13:37We're not dating.

00:13:38Oh, your father's gonna come around.

00:13:40No, seriously, we're not dating Miss Anderson.

00:13:43I promise you, he's not the boyfriend.

00:13:45Okay.

00:13:46Hey, I'm gonna go to the store.

00:13:47Oh, good, wait.

00:13:48I need walnuts, Sunnybrook yogurt,

00:13:50pistachios for your father,

00:13:51and Jarlsberg cheese.

00:13:52That's your favorite, right?

00:13:53Yeah, text it to me.

00:13:54Kenzo.

00:13:55You wanna come with?

00:14:08Mm-mm.

00:14:09I have nothing to wear.

00:14:10Nothing fits.

00:14:11Your father keeps bringing home cookies.

00:14:13Your shirt looks nice.

00:14:14Yeah.

00:14:17I'm sad today.

00:14:19Without my dad.

00:14:20I know, Mom.

00:14:21I'm sorry.

00:14:22I miss him, too.

00:14:23Mm.

00:14:24I love you, Mom.

00:14:25I love you, too.

00:14:28Okay.

00:14:30Text the list.

00:14:32Text the list.

00:14:34Hey, Mom, I really gotta talk to you about something.

00:14:36I really gotta talk to you about Haley.

00:14:40About Haley?

00:14:42Yeah.

00:14:43Okay.

00:14:44I understand, though.

00:14:45What do you understand?

00:14:46I'm excited to meet your friend,

00:14:47but I get it's hard maintaining friendships

00:14:50when you're in a relationship.

00:14:52What are you talking about?

00:14:53I mean, it's hard to be a best friend

00:14:54when someone else takes that place.

00:14:56You've had a lot of best friends.

00:14:58What?

00:14:59I thought we were best friends.

00:15:01But you don't tell me anything anymore.

00:15:03I tell you things, Mom.

00:15:06It's a J.

00:15:07J.

00:15:08J-A-R-L-S-B-U-R-G-B-E-R-G.

00:15:13Okay, well, Haley's at the station now.

00:15:16Okay.

00:15:17So I guess I'll just go.

00:15:19You want me to come?

00:15:20No, how do I look?

00:15:21Do I look okay?

00:15:22Good, you look good.

00:15:23What does that mean?

00:15:24For someone who's doing all this meditating,

00:15:26you're awfully stressed, sweetie.

00:15:27Maybe you're not doing it right.

00:15:29Maybe it's reversing your brain waves

00:15:31in some kind of way.

00:15:32Worse, Mom.

00:15:33Do you want anything while I'm texting your father?

00:15:35No.

00:15:37Okay.

00:15:55Where's this store?

00:15:58Well, you know, I just thought I'd get you away

00:16:00from the hubbub of the house,

00:16:02have a little chat, man-to-man.

00:16:04Okay.

00:16:05Just had a couple questions.

00:16:09How long have you been dating my daughter?

00:16:11Oh, no.

00:16:13No, sir, we're not dating.

00:16:15Don't lie to me.

00:16:16Oh, no, I'm not lying.

00:16:18Okay.

00:16:20Let me rephrase.

00:16:21How long have you been sleeping with my daughter?

00:16:23Oh.

00:16:25Uh, what do you mean?

00:16:28What do I mean?

00:16:30Okay, what was Lauren told you?

00:16:34Nothing gets past me.

00:16:38We're not dating.

00:16:43You're saying you've never slept with my daughter?

00:16:48Is that what you're saying?

00:16:52Okay, okay, yeah, um...

00:16:55Yeah, so we slept together once,

00:16:57and, um...

00:16:59It never happened again.

00:17:00It was just one time, and it didn't mean anything.

00:17:02It didn't mean anything?

00:17:04Well, I didn't mean like that.

00:17:05You know, it's just that we...

00:17:06You slept with my daughter,

00:17:08and it didn't mean anything!

00:17:09No, it didn't.

00:17:10It meant something.

00:17:11It's just we're not dating.

00:17:12You better be dating

00:17:13if you're sleeping with my daughter!

00:17:15But I, um...

00:17:16Take a look around.

00:17:22You see anybody?

00:17:24No.

00:17:26You think you'll be missed?

00:17:28What?

00:17:31Ten.

00:17:34Nine.

00:17:35Oh, God, are you counting down to kill me?

00:17:36Eight.

00:17:37Okay, okay, yep.

00:17:39Seven.

00:17:40Okay, okay, okay, yeah, yeah, yeah, we're dating.

00:17:42Six.

00:17:43We're dating, we're dating, we're dating.

00:17:44I am, um...

00:17:45Five.

00:17:46I am obsessed with her, I love her.

00:17:47She is...

00:17:48Four.

00:17:49A great human being.

00:17:50I think you birthed an amazing...

00:17:51Three.

00:17:52I'm dating your daughter!

00:17:53Okay.

00:17:54Man, that's a simple question.

00:17:57Just give a straight answer.

00:18:08Hey!

00:18:09Hi.

00:18:10I made it.

00:18:13Oh, I got this for your mom.

00:18:15Oh, that was really nice.

00:18:16And these.

00:18:19So thoughtful.

00:18:21Everything okay?

00:18:23Mm-hmm, yeah.

00:18:25So how far is it from here?

00:18:27It's, uh...

00:18:28It's really close.

00:18:31So close.

00:18:37So, how did it go?

00:18:40You look really nice.

00:18:43So, Austin, um...

00:18:44I don't want to talk about Austin.

00:18:46No, I know, it's just that...

00:18:47Lauren, today is about you and me.

00:18:49And today's totally still about you and me, but I should tell you that Austin is...

00:18:53Right, so no Austin.

00:18:55Okay, but the thing is...

00:18:56If you say Austin one more time, I'm gonna get out of this car.

00:19:10Welcome to my home.

00:19:12So cute.

00:19:13Yeah.

00:19:14Um, don't look at that.

00:19:15Okay, now I have to.

00:19:17Come on.

00:19:19Oh, God.

00:19:20Oh...

00:19:21Wow.

00:19:22Yeah.

00:19:23This is amazing.

00:19:24A whole lot of me.

00:19:26You must be Haley.

00:19:27Hi, um, these are for you.

00:19:29Oh, these are my favorite.

00:19:30That is so nice of you.

00:19:32It is such a pleasure to finally meet you.

00:19:33We've heard so much about you.

00:19:35Thank you so much for having me.

00:19:37Oh, you're so welcome.

00:19:38I was just looking at this amazing collage.

00:19:40It's pretty great, right?

00:19:41Yes, it is so embarrassing.

00:19:42No, it's beautiful.

00:19:43She's always beautiful to me.

00:19:44Okay.

00:19:49Hey, Haley.

00:19:50I need to talk to you.

00:19:52Whoa.

00:19:53Hey.

00:19:54Oh, yeah, you want lumberjack chic, too.

00:19:55That's what I was trying to tell you in the car.

00:19:56Wait, over here.

00:19:57I'm really sorry.

00:19:58What the hell, Austin?

00:20:03Hello.

00:20:04I'm George.

00:20:05Hi, I'm Haley.

00:20:06Pleasure.

00:20:07What's Austin doing here?

00:20:08Oh, he just surprised us.

00:20:10I might kill him.

00:20:11The feeling's mutual.

00:20:12Why did you tell your father that we slept together?

00:20:14Yes, he was all like,

00:20:15I know you slept with my daughter.

00:20:17Did you sleep with my daughter?

00:20:18He's with our daughter in her bedroom.

00:20:20I know.

00:20:21This is for the two of you.

00:20:22Thank you both so much for having me

00:20:24and welcoming me into your home on Thanksgiving.

00:20:26Your daughter is amazing.

00:20:28I can't tell you how much this means.

00:20:30Lauren told me how important you are.

00:20:32Aw.

00:20:33So tell us about Austin.

00:20:34Yeah, what's his deal?

00:20:36He's fine.

00:20:37He wants to kill me, legitimately kill me.

00:20:39I might kill you.

00:20:40I might kill you.

00:20:41I may actually kill you.

00:20:42This must be tough.

00:20:43You get jealous.

00:20:44Of Austin.

00:20:46It's okay, you can tell me.

00:20:47I guess.

00:20:48They're just so close.

00:20:49Of course, they have a special connection.

00:20:51Special, my ass.

00:20:52And I understand, it's totally natural.

00:20:54Well, I don't think I've admitted that before.

00:20:57Even to Lauren?

00:20:58Don't worry, it'll all work out.

00:21:00When they get married, you'll still be close friends.

00:21:03What?

00:21:05Me and Austin are not dating.

00:21:06Austin and I.

00:21:07You were an English major.

00:21:08Let's, why don't we go outside, get some fresh air.

00:21:11Come on.

00:21:15Where the hell is he going?

00:21:16Stop.

00:21:20What's he doing here?

00:21:21Uh, yeah, I was planning on telling them,

00:21:23and then the doorbell rang and my parents just kind of assumed

00:21:25that you were getting married.

00:21:27He sent a turkey?

00:21:28He sent a turkey?

00:21:30I know, I know.

00:21:31Listen, I will make this better.

00:21:33I'm okay.

00:21:39Ew.

00:21:50That is just horrifying.

00:21:52What?

00:21:53The neighbors do not need to see this kid's pelvis.

00:21:56What are you talking about?

00:21:58I never liked the idea of her moving in

00:22:00with some guy out for Christmas.

00:22:01Oh, I remember vividly you saying,

00:22:03that kid's got a good head on his shoulders.

00:22:05Remember?

00:22:06I knocked that head off.

00:22:07Oh, you don't like any of Lauren's boyfriends.

00:22:09Remember that nice kid, Johnny?

00:22:10You gave him PTSD.

00:22:11Johnny was a bum.

00:22:13Meanwhile, we invite you to join us

00:22:16How could you not fall in love with our daughter?

00:22:18He's got her lying to us.

00:22:20She never lied to us.

00:22:22Oh, sweetie.

00:22:25Do you think she's pregnant?

00:22:33Where's your sharpener?

00:22:34I don't know.

00:22:36I don't know.

00:22:38I don't know.

00:22:40I don't know.

00:22:42I don't know.

00:22:43I don't know.

00:22:44I don't know.

00:22:54What?

00:22:55It's my grandparents.

00:22:58So, we're playing straight today.

00:23:00They're not listening to me.

00:23:04Maybe they'll listen to you.

00:23:05Why don't you give it a try?

00:23:06Go tell them.

00:23:08What?

00:23:09You go tell my parents.

00:23:10No.

00:23:11Okay.

00:23:12I just met them.

00:23:13They're not coming out for you.

00:23:16Austin.

00:23:17What a surprise.

00:23:19Hello, Anderson grandparents.

00:23:21Call me Josephine.

00:23:23Grandpa Josephine.

00:23:25And don't you worry.

00:23:26I got your smoked turkey.

00:23:29He's arm and arm with your grandma.

00:23:31I am not with Austin.

00:23:32I am with you.

00:23:34Okay?

00:23:35They're going to love you.

00:23:36Come on.

00:23:37Walk along like you know how to walk.

00:23:38I'm waiting for you, bitch.

00:23:40I can walk.

00:23:41Look at this.

00:23:42Oh, good.

00:23:43Okay.

00:23:44Well, keep up.

00:23:45You're going to be the death of me.

00:23:47Well, the death of you will be your cholesterol.

00:23:49Oh, really?

00:23:50Did you ever hear of Lipitor?

00:23:52Lipitor?

00:23:53Lipitor.

00:23:54Lipitor.

00:23:55Ask your doctor.

00:23:56Should I get some?

00:23:57Jesus Christ.

00:23:58What are the side effects?

00:24:00Death.

00:24:05Keep walking.

00:24:06You don't have to wait for me.

00:24:07I don't need a helper.

00:24:09Well, you need something.

00:24:13Come on.

00:24:14Let's go in there so that they can see you by my side,

00:24:18and they can process it.

00:24:20And I'll clear this all up, all right?

00:24:24Fine.

00:24:30Happy Thanksgiving!

00:24:32Happy Thanksgiving.

00:24:35I'm so happy everyone's early.

00:24:38You wore those pants again?

00:24:40Look at them.

00:24:41Yes, I did.

00:24:42Well, thank heaven I didn't dress up.

00:24:44Well, they're very comfortable here.

00:24:46Yeah, they're very heinous.

00:24:47They may be heinous, but something smells awfully good.

00:24:52Well, this is so great because, you know,

00:24:55your son ate the entire pie I was planning to serve for breakfast.

00:25:00Oh, pie is okay for breakfast.

00:25:02Everyone can congregate in the living room.

00:25:04Austin sent me one of those smoked turkeys.

00:25:06Now I'm excited about Thanksgiving.

00:25:09Mm-hmm.

00:25:10This man ate a whole pie?

00:25:12Part of a pie.

00:25:13She's exaggerating, Fig.

00:25:14Everyone, can I have your attention?

00:25:17We're dating.

00:25:18Yes, Austin and Lauren are dating.

00:25:21You're misunderstanding.

00:25:23That's wonderful.

00:25:24No, Grandma, stop it.

00:25:25No, Grandma, stop it.

00:25:26No, no, no, no, no, no.

00:25:27It's not what you think, but it's very meaningful.

00:25:30There's just a bit of confusion here.

00:25:32Yeah, listen.

00:25:33Do you work with Lauren?

00:25:35Haley is a lawyer.

00:25:36She actually makes money.

00:25:38So do you.

00:25:39I bet you got a whole lot of new material now.

00:25:42Her writing's going really well.

00:25:45Tell them.

00:25:46What kind of law?

00:25:47Environmental law.

00:25:48All about shrubbery and bushes.

00:25:49I love shrubbery.

00:25:50I don't know anything about environmental law.

00:25:53I learn something new every day.

00:25:55As did I, madam, the day I married you till today.

00:25:58What's the newest thing you learned?

00:26:00You, ma'am, have major games.

00:26:02All right, you two, get a room.

00:26:04Haley and I met in yoga.

00:26:06Thought you weren't supposed to talk in yoga.

00:26:08Well, she hates rules.

00:26:09Haley is not my friend.

00:26:11She's your best friend.

00:26:12I liked that picture of you two on Instagram last night.

00:26:15That was really cute.

00:26:16You're talking about the all-black event?

00:26:17Yeah.

00:26:18Lesbians for women in power.

00:26:20Yeah, we got a bunch of feminists in the house.

00:26:22Are you two wearing the same shirt?

00:26:24Okay, come with me.

00:26:27Okay.

00:26:28Great.

00:26:29Excuse me.

00:26:30You guys too?

00:26:35They're not listening.

00:26:37I told you.

00:26:38No, like, they're really not listening.

00:26:40I mean, okay, they're still my family.

00:26:47What?

00:26:48Jesus Christ!

00:26:49How many times do I have to knock before somebody answers the door?

00:26:52What's with the girl in the van?

00:26:53Oh, Jesus Christ.

00:26:54Mike! Mike!

00:26:55Happy Thanksgiving to you too.

00:26:56Mike!

00:26:57What?

00:26:58You heard me.

00:26:59I don't even know what you're talking about!

00:27:01Oh, I don't believe you.

00:27:02Where's the cranberry sauce?

00:27:04What?

00:27:05I asked you to bring one.

00:27:06Oh, wait, whoa, whoa, whoa.

00:27:07I brought wine.

00:27:08Oh, great.

00:27:09I brought wine.

00:27:10So we're drinking again.

00:27:11That makes me happy.

00:27:13So this is your bedroom?

00:27:15And this is it.

00:27:18I'm so glad we're sharing this moment with Austin.

00:27:20No one wants to out you guys more than me right now.

00:27:22Why exactly are you here?

00:27:24How was I supposed to know you were going to drop the Les bomb today?

00:27:27Why did you send a turkey?

00:27:29Because her grandmother liked it last year.

00:27:31You're deliberately trying to sabotage me.

00:27:34Shut up.

00:27:35Both of you.

00:27:36We'll go with the flow, and when the right moment presents itself,

00:27:40I will tell them we are in a relationship.

00:27:43Okay.

00:27:44But listen, you just have to rip off that band-aid.

00:27:47I didn't want there to be any ripping.

00:27:49I know.

00:27:50That's not how it was supposed to happen.

00:27:52Oh, I know.

00:27:54I'm sorry.

00:27:56Hey, it's going to be okay.

00:28:04So this is your bedroom?

00:28:06This is my bedroom.

00:28:08All of this was made here.

00:28:12How did you even fit on the bed with all these stuffed animals?

00:28:15I don't know.

00:28:16I'm actually not sure.

00:28:19Who's this guy?

00:28:20This is Teddy.

00:28:21I lacked imagination.

00:28:24This is like quite the introduction to six-year-old Lauren.

00:28:27Oh, I'm sorry.

00:28:29It's okay.

00:28:31Hey, Mom.

00:28:32Happy Thanksgiving.

00:28:34Oh, it smells so good in here.

00:28:36You look so handsome.

00:28:38Really?

00:28:39Yes, I really like this haircut.

00:28:40Why don't I have a girlfriend then?

00:28:41This deserves a girlfriend.

00:28:42You're so touchable.

00:28:43I did bring a little bit of laundry for us to do,

00:28:48but I don't know how to do it, so I thought, you know, you could do it.

00:28:52It's all good.

00:28:57Dashing through the snow.

00:29:01Honey, one holiday at a time, please.

00:29:04Can I have my phone back now?

00:29:05Jess.

00:29:06Why don't you give her the phone back?

00:29:08Don't make me the bad cop.

00:29:10You are the bad cop.

00:29:11Hey, don't push her.

00:29:17Hey, here we go.

00:29:19Let's have a good time.

00:29:24Can I please have my phone now?

00:29:26No.

00:29:28And don't slam the door.

00:29:30Can we just eat some food and give thanks?

00:29:32How? I'm not thankful.

00:29:34How about giving thanks for me birthing you?

00:29:37Push a child out of your vagina for 32 hours.

00:29:39You won't be crying about that phone.

00:29:40Mom, don't say vagina.

00:29:41And don't mention the spinach dip.

00:29:46Hey, the good guys are here.

00:29:48Hey.

00:29:49Hey.

00:29:50How are you?

00:29:51I'm very, very well made.

00:29:54Hey there, beautiful lady.

00:29:56Happy Thanksgiving, Mom.

00:29:58Kiss her on the lips.

00:29:59I love you.

00:30:00Hey, tough guy, how are you doing?

00:30:02I'm doing great.

00:30:03Yeah?

00:30:04I feel great.

00:30:05I got the appetite back.

00:30:06How do I look?

00:30:07Like a hundred damn dollars.

00:30:08You actually asked him if he felt good.

00:30:09Look at the woman's face that he brought with him.

00:30:11I mean, how could you not feel good?

00:30:13Pop, come on.

00:30:14Jessica.

00:30:15Hi, Mike.

00:30:16Maggie.

00:30:17Hi.

00:30:18Cool gang is here.

00:30:19Great.

00:30:20This is, this is Haley.

00:30:21John.

00:30:22Hi.

00:30:23You don't eat meat?

00:30:24No, thanks.

00:30:25Are you a vegetarian?

00:30:26Yeah.

00:30:27Wait.

00:30:28You're the one that turned my daughter vegetarian?

00:30:30No, actually, she turned me vegetarian.

00:30:32She doesn't eat meat, but she eats pie.

00:30:35So do you.

00:30:36Mom, can I have my phone?

00:30:37Not until you learn that my privacy is my privacy.

00:30:40She has taken to filming me in the bathroom.

00:30:42Enough.

00:30:43Mm-hmm.

00:30:44On the toilet, in the shower, waxing, sweating.

00:30:46Oh, my God.

00:30:47Well, that's flattering.

00:30:48Oh, that's flattering.

00:30:49Right?

00:30:50Yes.

00:30:51You're evil.

00:30:52Come on.

00:30:53Real flattering.

00:30:54Somebody said there was going to be turkey.

00:30:56Oh, yeah.

00:30:57It's hilarious.

00:30:58You really are.

00:30:59You should have some wine.

00:31:00I don't want wine.

00:31:01It's a bottle that Haley brought.

00:31:03You shut up.

00:31:04Great.

00:31:05Is there a reason you don't want wine?

00:31:06I'm so hungry.

00:31:07A specific reason?

00:31:08Do you like drinking?

00:31:10That's it?

00:31:11Dad, I don't want wine.

00:31:12Uncle George, I'll help you.

00:31:13Do you want the wine?

00:31:14No.

00:31:15I was thinking you might want some.

00:31:16Lauren, can you grab me some extra oven mitts from downstairs?

00:31:18Oh, I'll go get them.

00:31:19Lauren, can you show Haley where the extra oven mitts are?

00:31:23Mom, can you ask Dad why he's being crazy?

00:31:24He doesn't want any wine.

00:31:26Where the hell is the turkey?

00:31:27Hey, men.

00:31:28I'm with Pop.

00:31:29Let's eat.

00:31:30It's roast beef.

00:31:31Baby sucks here.

00:31:33Okay.

00:31:34You need to drink that wine.

00:31:35I'm getting drunk.

00:31:36It's not going to fix anything.

00:31:37They think you're pregnant.

00:31:38No.

00:31:39Oh, yeah.

00:31:40They think.

00:31:41You came home to tell them you're in a relationship with Austin.

00:31:43And you're pregnant.

00:31:44Congratulations.

00:31:45Oh, my God.

00:31:46Um, I just need to get my mom alone for, like, a minute.

00:31:51Is someone smoking, Pop?

00:31:53I don't think so.

00:31:54Nobody smokes.

00:31:58What?

00:32:04My uncle is smoking weed in Pop-Pop's bathroom.

00:32:07My uncle.

00:32:08Pop-Pop used to live down here.

00:32:09My uncle's in there smoking and shaving.

00:32:11My mom's going to kill him.

00:32:12Why is he shaving?

00:32:13Why is he smoking?

00:32:14Ask if he wants to share.

00:32:16That's not funny.

00:32:17I'm not joking.

00:32:18I'll be right back.

00:32:19No, just give me five minutes.

00:32:20No.

00:32:21Please.

00:32:22Please just give me five minutes to talk to my mom.

00:32:24You get one minute.

00:32:26Oh, my God.

00:32:27You look so cute in that dress.

00:32:28I like you.

00:32:30Relax.

00:32:31I'll be right back.

00:32:40Quick.

00:32:41Lauren.

00:32:42No, not right now.

00:32:43You're a friend.

00:32:44No.

00:32:45Yeah.

00:32:46We had a connection.

00:32:47There was no connection.

00:32:48Tell me one thing.

00:32:49Unavailable.

00:32:50Hey, listen.

00:32:51What?

00:32:52Mike's smoking weed in Pop-Pop's bathroom.

00:32:54Is he going to share?

00:32:55John.

00:32:56What?

00:32:57What do you want me to do about it?

00:32:58I just need everyone to put their shit together for five seconds.

00:32:59Okay.

00:33:00When I talk to mom, can you just help me do that?

00:33:01That's fair.

00:33:02She's in the kitchen, you know, basting away.

00:33:04Okay.

00:33:06No.

00:33:07Where are you going?

00:33:08Stay.

00:33:09I just want to have a stimulating conversation with somebody.

00:33:10She seems smart.

00:33:11I'll see you later.

00:33:15Here.

00:33:16What the hell?

00:33:17This cannot be right.

00:33:18According to this, the turkey's done.

00:33:20According to this, we ate it already.

00:33:23Vegetarian or not, you need to try the smoked turkey, Lauren.

00:33:27It was a gift from your boyfriend.

00:33:29It wasn't.

00:33:30No, she's going to try meat.

00:33:31It's going to be my meat.

00:33:33Can you at least try my gravy?

00:33:34I'm not trying meat today.

00:33:35Oh, yes, you are.

00:33:36You're trying this gravy.

00:33:37You really want to.

00:33:38How about I try it, and then we go talk?

00:33:39We're talking right now.

00:33:40We're not talking right now.

00:33:41Try the gravy.

00:33:42Mmm.

00:33:43It's so good, right?

00:33:44It's really good.

00:33:45Why?

00:33:46Mmm.

00:33:48That is good.

00:33:49Rose.

00:33:50Yeah?

00:33:51I hate to tell you.

00:33:52You don't fry with olive oil.

00:33:55No, I learned that.

00:33:57Well, they told us about it in Greece.

00:34:00Never.

00:34:01Okay.

00:34:02We're in New Jersey.

00:34:03You use canola oil or coconut oil.

00:34:05Really?

00:34:06Huh.

00:34:07You know, when I was a young girl, and I had an itchy lady garden...

00:34:11Excuse me?

00:34:13...I'd put just a drop of olive oil on a cotton swab and pat it down there.

00:34:17Oh, my God.

00:34:19That's so great.

00:34:21How often would you do that?

00:34:23Every single time.

00:34:24Oh.

00:34:25Have you ever had an itch down there?

00:34:27Never.

00:34:28Never.

00:34:29That's never happened.

00:34:30Mom, I need my phone.

00:34:31I need to film this.

00:34:32Oh, yeah, but that's not happening, because you and your friends do too much of that

00:34:34snatching of drugs and naked pictures.

00:34:37I'm not doing any of that.

00:34:38Okay, whatever.

00:34:39All I'm saying is your generation is over-sexualized.

00:34:42No, that was never Lauren.

00:34:44What?

00:34:45You were an angel.

00:34:46Do you remember when you asked me what this meant?

00:34:49I literally want to die.

00:34:50Wait, what?

00:34:51Some brat at school did that, and she wanted to know what he was talking about, right?

00:34:56We stopped making that motion forever.

00:34:58This, you, no.

00:35:00Mom, let me live my life, okay?

00:35:01Tell them about this in the bottle.

00:35:03Mom, this is not a roast.

00:35:05Lauren called me in seventh grade.

00:35:08It was sixth grade.

00:35:09It was seventh grade, and everybody was playing spin the bottle, right?

00:35:14I didn't want my first kiss to be with some random guy.

00:35:17Right, and you called me, your mom.

00:35:19Yes, I snuck off and called my mom and asked her if I should play.

00:35:22What'd she say?

00:35:23What'd you say?

00:35:24I said, you should do whatever you feel comfortable doing, but you hang up the phone and don't

00:35:29tell anyone you called.

00:35:31Aw.

00:35:32Loser.

00:35:33Yes, I was not cool.

00:35:34I miss those days.

00:35:35You told me everything.

00:35:38I just have some clarification.

00:35:40You and Austin, not together.

00:35:43Why are you keeping it secret?

00:35:45I'm not keeping it a secret.

00:35:47I've been trying to tell everyone.

00:35:48We're not together.

00:35:49I got an idea.

00:35:51Put it in your hand and pray.

00:35:53And pray to God that someday you figure out that you can get your shit together.

00:36:01Put that rotary away.

00:36:03Put it away.

00:36:04Why?

00:36:05We only use it for important things.

00:36:07God belongs in your house every day of your life, lady.

00:36:11We're not talking about God right now, we're talking about your rosary.

00:36:14Jessica, do you have a boyfriend?

00:36:16Change of subject.

00:36:17I'm so into lacrosse players.

00:36:18Is Austin a lacrosse player?

00:36:20Lacrosse.

00:36:21Where do you see lacrosse players?

00:36:23You don't know what I do.

00:36:24Rose, I need more, where are you going?

00:36:26I need more chairs.

00:36:27They're in the basement.

00:36:28Mike's smoking weed down there.

00:36:30What?

00:36:31How is that surprising?

00:36:32What are you chewing?

00:36:33Nothing, I'm not chewing.

00:36:34Look at that.

00:36:35One of my cookies.

00:36:39Mike!

00:36:41What?

00:36:42What the hell are you doing?

00:36:44I'm shaving.

00:36:45I smell weed.

00:36:46I'm shaving.

00:36:47You're smoking in our deceased father's bathroom.

00:36:49It's all in your head.

00:36:50I'm telling you, Rose, stop it.

00:36:53Rose!

00:36:54What's wrong with you?

00:36:55What are you laughing at?

00:36:56We're kind of worried about you.

00:36:57You don't look normal right now.

00:36:58You don't look normal.

00:36:59You are too.

00:37:00No, I'm kind of depressed.

00:37:03Yeah, that's called being an adult.

00:37:05You look like Grandma.

00:37:06You look just like Grandma.

00:37:08I am still going to kill you.

00:37:11I have had it.

00:37:13I am not your goddamn mother.

00:37:17Right over there, I saw Lauren kiss Haley.

00:37:22Lauren's dating Austin.

00:37:26Kids these days think they can have their gluten-free cake and eat it, too.

00:37:31What should we do about it?

00:37:33You do nothing.

00:37:34I'll handle this.

00:37:39You put those hands on me, you get bossy, and it turns me on.

00:37:46Still.

00:37:47So, no meat at all?

00:37:49Nope.

00:37:50Well, where do you get your protein?

00:37:52Oh, Haley eats fish.

00:37:54Oh, right. Yeah, yeah.

00:37:55So, there's a name for that.

00:37:56It's pescatarian.

00:37:59You're a pescatarian.

00:38:00No, I'm not.

00:38:01Semantics.

00:38:02Maybe I should be a pescatarian.

00:38:03Hey, we're just talking about Haley's meat-eating habits.

00:38:06Austin's telling your brother he ate fish.

00:38:08What do you think about that, Lauren?

00:38:09Gosh, it starts with a P.

00:38:10No, pescatarian.

00:38:11It's on the tip of the nose.

00:38:12That's right.

00:38:13Am I wrong?

00:38:14That's not it.

00:38:15Lauren?

00:38:16Lauren?

00:38:17I'm sorry, I'm sorry.

00:38:19Pescatarian.

00:38:20I'll tell you later.

00:38:21I wanted to make sure you're comfortable, you know?

00:38:23Mi casa is your house.

00:38:25Thanks.

00:38:26You play lacrosse?

00:38:27Yeah.

00:38:28In high school.

00:38:29Nice.

00:38:31Lauren!

00:38:34What's going on, Grandma?

00:38:35You never bring the side dish with the main dish.

00:38:37Huh?

00:38:38You don't think I know what's going on?

00:38:41You and Haley?

00:38:42Yes.

00:38:43Me and Haley.

00:38:45Yeah.

00:38:46Wow.

00:38:47I didn't think that you'd be the first person to figure that out.

00:38:50You guys just share your vegetarian plates and throw meat in when you feel like it.

00:38:53Wait, what?

00:38:54You, Haley, Austin.

00:38:56I don't care what you do in your own personal time,

00:38:58but you don't bring the side dish with the main course home for the holidays.

00:39:02No, no, no.

00:39:03I'm with Haley.

00:39:04I'm not Austin.

00:39:05There's no side dish.

00:39:06Don't bullshit me.

00:39:07He sent a turkey.

00:39:09Hey, Lauren.

00:39:11You're brothers.

00:39:15Yeah.

00:39:16John.

00:39:17Stop waving at my friend.

00:39:19I'm watching you.

00:39:23Shut the door.

00:39:25It's cold outside.

00:39:31I saw the two of you kissing.

00:39:36Nice seeing you both.

00:39:39What?

00:39:40What do you want?

00:39:41John, stop hitting Haley.

00:39:43Okay, I think she might be into it, so I really don't want to stop.

00:39:45She's not into it.

00:39:46She's not into it.

00:39:47Okay, she might be.

00:39:48She's not into it at all.

00:39:49You know what?

00:39:50I'm picking up some things, and if you think I don't know when I'm getting the eyes,

00:39:52then you're wrong.

00:39:53There's no eyes.

00:39:54Okay.

00:39:55This is one of those amazing, beautiful romances that's just starting to boss me.

00:39:58What are you talking about?

00:39:59She just showed up.

00:40:00Yeah.

00:40:01John, listen.

00:40:02You have to relax.

00:40:03Listen to me.

00:40:04I can see and sense that you're worked up.

00:40:05Listen to me.

00:40:06Okay.

00:40:07Haley is my girlfriend.

00:40:08Oh.

00:40:09Oh.

00:40:10Okay.

00:40:11Yeah.

00:40:12But, I mean, you made out with tons of my friends in high school.

00:40:13Oh, my God.

00:40:14I mean, I was one of your friends, and it wasn't Thanksgiving.

00:40:15Let it go.

00:40:16Let it go.

00:40:17I owe you one.

00:40:18Don't point your finger away.

00:40:19I owe you one.

00:40:20Put the finger away.

00:40:21Okay.

00:40:22You know what?

00:40:23I'll take that as a challenge.

00:40:24Don't.

00:40:25Don't.

00:40:26Your room smells like farts.

00:40:27Get out.

00:40:28So, maybe you want to do something about that.

00:40:29Why don't you get over there so I can keep an eye on you?

00:40:30Hey.

00:40:31Hey.

00:40:32Hey.

00:40:33Hey.

00:40:34Hey.

00:40:35Hey.

00:40:36Hey.

00:40:37Hey.

00:40:38Hey.

00:40:39Hey.

00:40:40Hey.

00:40:41Hey.

00:40:42Hey.

00:40:43Hey.

00:40:44Hey.

00:40:45Hey.

00:40:46Hey.

00:40:47Hey.

00:40:48Hey.

00:40:49Hey.

00:40:50Hey.

00:40:51Hey.

00:40:53Hey.

00:40:56Are you all right?

00:40:57Oh, yeah.

00:40:58Yeah, they just, uh...

00:40:59They did a lot of cutting around the muscle.

00:41:00So, you're going to blame cancer for your shitty golf game?

00:41:05You look all right, buddy.

00:41:07Don't lie to me.

00:41:08I look like shit.

00:41:09Well, there's that.

00:41:13Hey, what's the deal with Dad and the rosary?

00:41:17Well, he...

00:41:18He, uh, he promised to do the rosary every day if he beat cancer, so he's screwed.

00:41:31You look good, though.

00:41:33You eating healthy?

00:41:35From the guy who eats pie for breakfast.

00:41:37And lunch.

00:41:38You know, Georgie, I feel good.

00:41:39Good.

00:41:40I feel like a teenager.

00:41:42Like a really old, out-of-shape teenager.

00:41:47Four!

00:41:49On your house.

00:41:56Okay.

00:41:57I need a new thermometer.

00:42:00Lauren, get me a new thermometer for Christmas.

00:42:03That's all I want.

00:42:04Great.

00:42:05I'm hungry.

00:42:06Hey, sweetie.

00:42:07I, I have your baby clothes up in the attic.

00:42:09Mom, there's no reason for baby clothes.

00:42:10Oh, okay.

00:42:11Something burning in here?

00:42:13No, it's just, it's the smoke turkey.

00:42:15I mean, my turkey's fine.

00:42:17It smells.

00:42:18That's not a turkey.

00:42:19Yeah, what's with the smoke turkey?

00:42:20It's a family tradition.

00:42:21Haley, it's up.

00:42:22I am gonna be an awesome grandma.

00:42:24You!

00:42:25Would a rational, pregnant person do this?

00:42:29Yeah, boy.

00:42:30Oh, boy.

00:42:31Oh, wow.

00:42:32No.

00:42:33Nobody would do that.

00:42:34Oh.

00:42:35Oh, my God.

00:42:36No.

00:42:37So awesome.

00:42:38There's no baby.

00:42:39You just killed it.

00:42:40There was never a baby, Mom.

00:42:41There was never a baby.

00:42:44Get the turkey!

00:42:45Wait, wait, wait, wait, wait!

00:42:46Everybody, everybody out!

00:42:47Everybody out of the house!

00:42:49Everybody, everybody!

00:42:51Get the baby turkey and get out!

00:42:53Come on.

00:42:54Haley and I have been dating for six months.

00:42:56No one seems to give a shit about anything.

00:42:59Move, move, move, get out!

00:43:02George, where are Mom and Dad?

00:43:05Has anybody seen my Mama?

00:43:07Okay, we gotta go now.

00:43:09We gotta go.

00:43:11The house is okay, but the basement's got a lot of smoke damage.

00:43:15What caused the fire?

00:43:17The joint sheet.

00:43:20So, do you want to share?

00:43:23It's gonna be okay, Mom.

00:43:24Why don't we go to the motel and have Thanksgiving dinner?

00:43:28Yeah, okay.

00:43:30Okay.

00:43:32Oh, my God, it's all that stuff.

00:43:35I know.

00:43:36His...

00:43:38His baseball bats.

00:43:39I know.

00:43:42It's gonna be okay.

00:43:43His bird box.

00:43:44It's gonna be okay.

00:43:45It's gonna be okay.

00:43:46Oh, God.

00:43:51I'll be right back. Are you gonna be okay?

00:43:52Yep.

00:43:58Oh.

00:43:59Happy Thanksgiving, Rose.

00:44:00Oh, happy Thanksgiving to you, too.

00:44:01And that is one hell of a way to smoke a turkey.

00:44:06Dick.

00:44:08Hey, where are you going?

00:44:09Brother's gonna give me a ride to the station.

00:44:12I tried to tell him you heard me.

00:44:14No, I know. I'm sorry.

00:44:15Look, I'm just really uncomfortable.

00:44:17This is crazy, right?

00:44:18John?

00:44:19What?

00:44:20Haley's staying. You're staying.

00:44:21She said she wanted a ride. I'll give her a ride.

00:44:22What's your deal, anyway?

00:44:23You seem really, like, depressed or something.

00:44:25Give me Haley's bag.

00:44:26I can hold on to a bag, okay?

00:44:27Just hang tight.

00:44:30I need my friends' support.

00:44:32Look, I get it that your family doesn't want to hear about your friends today,

00:44:36but I think they need to know...

00:44:38I need to know that my friend has my back.

00:44:41And I need my friend to be open and honest about her feelings.

00:44:44Friends are there even when it's inconvenient.

00:44:46They're there when you need them the most.

00:44:48She sounds like she's pretty hard to be friends with, right?

00:44:50Probably not even bother.

00:44:52Give me Haley's bag.

00:44:53Hey, hey, hey.

00:44:54Give me your medicine.

00:44:55Sibling rivalry.

00:44:56Hey, guys, who am I riding with?

00:44:57Hey, guys, we can, um...

00:44:58We can fit three in our back seat.

00:45:01We're gonna get sick.

00:45:02Hey, we got the food in the driveway.

00:45:04We could have, like, a picnic.

00:45:06It's a beautiful day, you know.

00:45:08Make him shut up. Make him shut up or I will die.

00:45:11There's no reason that we all gotta climb in the car and go to the motel.

00:45:15Seriously.

00:45:16Hey, Austin.

00:45:17My parents said you'd come with us.

00:45:19Cool.

00:45:20I know.

00:45:22We're just gonna go to the motel,

00:45:24and we're gonna have a perfect Thanksgiving dinner.

00:45:27Look, you are a saint for putting up with all this.

00:45:31Oh, Mrs. Anderson.

00:45:33Oh, it's gonna be okay.

00:45:35These are Ken's keys, and this is Ken's car,

00:45:38but it's just that they're not working.

00:45:40Sweetie, find the keys that work for that car,

00:45:42or find a car that goes with those keys, okay?

00:45:45Johnny, put on your big boy pants.

00:45:47Don't let the panic win.

00:45:48So you're coming back to the motel with us, right?

00:45:51Oh, yes, you are.

00:45:53Yeah.

00:45:54Yes, you are.

00:45:55Thank you so much for having me.

00:45:56So we're just all gonna go to the motel?

00:45:58Yep.

00:45:59All right, roommates.

00:46:00John.

00:46:01What?

00:46:02Leave Haley alone.

00:46:03I'm not leaving her alone.

00:46:04I've been talking to everybody.

00:46:05Guys, guys, guys.

00:46:06Just go away.

00:46:07Where else would I go?

00:46:09I can't go in the house.

00:46:10Okay.

00:46:11He's a moron.

00:46:12Here we go.

00:46:13He's a moron.

00:46:14I'm sorry.

00:46:15I'm sorry he's harassing you.

00:46:17Work on your attitude.

00:46:19Shut up.

00:46:20We're all good.

00:46:23Okay.

00:46:35What's with the smoked turkey?

00:46:37How many times are we gonna go through this today?

00:46:39Austin sent it.

00:46:41What?

00:46:42He doesn't like your turkey?

00:46:43Does Austin not like my turkey?

00:46:45No, Mom.

00:46:46It was just a gesture.

00:46:47It was a peace offering.

00:46:48He knew I wanted to kill him.

00:46:50If you're gonna eat turkey today, it's gonna be my turkey.

00:46:53See, Lauren?

00:46:54Your mom doesn't want you eating Austin's meat.

00:46:56I thought you don't eat meat.

00:46:57I don't.

00:46:58Do you have any allergies I should know about, Haley?

00:47:01Just bees.

00:47:02Okay, I'm not gonna cook bees, so that's fine.

00:47:04Just gonna make us dinner.

00:47:06Oh, man.

00:47:08Mmm.

00:47:20So, now, how long have you and Lauren been officially together?

00:47:23Yeah, no, it's not official.

00:47:25Oh.

00:47:26What the hell would you call it?

00:47:27Keeping your options open?

00:47:28Yep.

00:47:29Nope, that's not keeping our options open.

00:47:31We're just, uh, we're just roommates.

00:47:33Mm-hmm.

00:47:35Roommates.

00:47:37No phone.

00:47:38Disgusting casserole.

00:47:40Hey, it is not a casserole.

00:47:42It is a spinach dip.

00:47:43And it's the best goddamn spinach dip in this part of the country.

00:47:48It's salty.

00:47:49It's buttery.

00:47:50The edges get a little bit textury.

00:47:53It's fantastic.

00:47:54That, to me, I mean, I don't know.

00:47:56It just seems perfect.

00:47:57Well, and also, I steam this.

00:47:59If you pull it out a little early, sometimes we get a situation.

00:48:06Oh.

00:48:07Oh.

00:48:08Oh.

00:48:09Oh.

00:48:10Oh.

00:48:11Oh.

00:48:12Oh.

00:48:13Oh.

00:48:14Oh.

00:48:15Oh.

00:48:16Oh.

00:48:17Oh.

00:48:18Oh.

00:48:19Oh.

00:48:20Oh.

00:48:21Oh.

00:48:22Oh.

00:48:23Oh.

00:48:24Oh.

00:48:25Oh.

00:48:26Oh.

00:48:27Oh.

00:48:28Oh.

00:48:29Oh.

00:48:30Oh.

00:48:31Oh.

00:48:32Oh.

00:48:33Oh.

00:48:34Oh.

00:48:35Oh.

00:48:36Oh.

00:48:37Oh.

00:48:38Oh.

00:48:39Oh.

00:48:40Oh.

00:48:41Oh.

00:48:42Oh.

00:48:43Oh.

00:48:44Oh.

00:48:45Oh.

00:48:46Oh.

00:48:47Oh.

00:48:48Oh.

00:48:49Oh.

00:48:50Are you kidding me?

00:48:51Hey, Mom.

00:48:52Yeah, sweetie.

00:48:53Let's try to enjoy what's left of the day.

00:48:54Apa Buddha wanted us to have a lovely Thanksgiving.

00:48:55It's very well for a figure of speech.

00:48:56OK?

00:48:57All right?

00:48:58Wait a second.

00:48:59What?

00:49:00Probably I'll stay over there.

00:49:01Hey, John, maybe you make yourself useful.

00:49:02Yeah, no problem.

00:49:03I'm just saying we can figure out sleeping arrangements, whatever.

00:49:04You're obviously sharing.

00:49:05It's not an option.

00:49:06Hey, listen.

00:49:07My mom is at a boiling point.

00:49:08Let me just bring her back to zero, OK?

00:49:09I get it.

00:49:10I get it.

00:49:11It's all about preserving your mom's emotions.

00:49:12You know, maybe I should just get together with John.

00:49:13That'll make her happy.

00:49:14You're being ridiculous.

00:49:15Your cousin is sexually harassing me.

00:49:16You need to deal with that?

00:49:17I can't deal with anything else today.

00:49:18Can you take this?

00:49:19Yeah.

00:49:20OK.

00:49:21OK.

00:49:22I got it.

00:49:23I got it.

00:49:24I got it.

00:49:25I got it.

00:49:26I got it.

00:49:27I got it.

00:49:28I got it.

00:49:29I got it.

00:49:30I got it.

00:49:31I got it.

00:49:32I got it.

00:49:33I got it.

00:49:34I got it.

00:49:35I got it.

00:49:36I got it.

00:49:37I got it.

00:49:38I got it.

00:49:39I got it.

00:49:40I got it.

00:49:41I got it.

00:49:42I got it.

00:49:43I got it.

00:49:44I got it.

00:49:45I got it.

00:49:46What is going on here?

00:49:47This parking lot is for guests only.

00:49:48Is everything OK here?

00:49:49Is everything OK here?

00:49:50Everything is great.

00:49:51Guests only, please.

00:49:52I'm with Mike.

00:49:53Yeah.

00:49:54She's, uh, uh, Emma!

00:49:55This is my guest.

00:49:56Yes.

00:49:57Hello, family.

00:49:58That was not supposed to be here with me today.

00:49:59We have a real accident at the house.

00:50:00A little accident.

00:50:01Come on, we're gonna go have some dinner and our bellies will be full, a surprise will be on our way.

00:50:07Let's, you know, let's make the most of it, the best of it. Right? The best of it.

00:50:13Hey mom, can I grab a key for me and Haley to grab a room?

00:50:15Yes, go ahead.

00:50:16Okay. You good here?

00:50:17Yeah, I'm great here.

00:50:23I'm looking at you. I'm looking at you.

00:50:27You know, um, today was supposed to be a really important day.

00:50:34Yeah, how was I supposed to know that?

00:50:36Why exactly are you here?

00:50:38Cause, I like Lauren's family.

00:50:40What?

00:50:41You like Lauren.

00:50:42Okay, alright, alright. Look, you're frustrated because her family welcomed me with open arms.

00:50:49No, no. I'm frustrated because you've managed to hijack the entire day.

00:50:55They think you guys are a couple.

00:50:56Uh, that's not my fault.

00:50:58You and Lauren are never going to be a couple, okay?

00:51:02I hope you realize that.

00:51:09You guys have been dating for six months, right?

00:51:13We've been living together for three years.

00:51:17Guess who knows Lauren better?

00:51:20How the hell did Mike start that fire?

00:51:22Smoking pot.

00:51:23Where'd he get the weed?

00:51:24Probably dealing again.

00:51:26I didn't realize he was selling ever.

00:51:28Hell yeah.

00:51:29Interesting. Interesting.

00:51:31Failed at it, of course. Probably failed at it again.

00:51:34Yeah.

00:51:35They're ripping off the flowers again.

00:51:37Who?

00:51:38Holy fuck!

00:51:41Johnny, stop pretending to help. You can actually help.

00:51:43Well, it's heavier than it looks, Mom.

00:51:45Okay, I'm putting the spinach in.

00:51:48Here, let me help you with this.

00:51:50In case anybody is interested in spinach, I use organic spinach.

00:51:54Actually, you know what? Maybe it's easier without it.

00:51:57Relax if you want or...

00:51:59Oh.

00:52:05I'm sorry.

00:52:06It's okay.

00:52:07It's okay.

00:52:08It's okay.

00:52:09It's okay.

00:52:10It's okay.

00:52:11It's okay.

00:52:12It's okay.

00:52:13It's okay.

00:52:14It's okay.

00:52:15It's okay.

00:52:16It's okay.

00:52:21George?

00:52:22Hey!

00:52:23Watch the damn turkey video.

00:52:24Okay, I will watch the video.

00:52:26Now.

00:52:27Absolutely.

00:52:28Why wouldn't I?

00:52:29Close!

00:52:30Somebody's calling.

00:52:32Do you mind closing the door, honey?

00:52:42Yeah.

00:52:43Uh-huh.

00:52:45Your brother and his friend.

00:52:47I know, I know.

00:52:48What the hell is going on here?

00:52:49Let me call the police.

00:52:50I got this.

00:52:52I can't call the cops on Mikey.

00:52:54That's why you're going to let me call the cops on him.

00:52:57Okay?

00:52:58Okay.

00:52:59You can do it!

00:53:02Just come inside and just act normal.

00:53:05I am not going inside.

00:53:06Are you out of your mind?

00:53:07Please come inside.

00:53:08Please come inside.

00:53:10Do you want to get this done?

00:53:11Oh, my...

00:53:12You want to get this done?

00:53:13Do you want to be professional?

00:53:14Let's go inside.

00:53:15Do you want to be professional?

00:53:16Do you want to try being professional?

00:53:17I am a professional.

00:53:18You're the absolute worst.

00:53:19I've been a professional for a while.

00:53:20Yo, yo, you're so professional.

00:53:22We can stay in here tonight.

00:53:24Shouldn't we be sleeping in separate beds?

00:53:28Mike.

00:53:30Lauren.

00:53:31Okay, I think I'll go Mike's dating a gay lady.

00:53:35Yeah, I know a lesbian when I see one.

00:53:37Hi, Hayley.

00:53:38Hey.

00:53:39What are you doing?

00:53:40What are you guys doing?

00:53:41Okay, bye.

00:53:43Impeccable gaydar, that one.

00:53:45Spot on.

00:53:46I'm glad there's so many love connections happening.

00:53:48I know, and my whole family will know about this one.

00:53:51We'll be laughing about this someday.

00:53:54I'm sure.

00:53:57It's nice to have a moment away from my family.

00:54:02I was really excited to meet them today.

00:54:04I know.

00:54:08They're going to love you.

00:54:09I'm sorry I didn't go as planned.

00:54:13It's okay.

00:54:15It just...

00:54:18doesn't feel good enough to be worth talking about.

00:54:22Of course you're worth talking about.

00:54:25I know.

00:54:27I adore you.

00:54:28I adore you.

00:54:41Hey, Dad.

00:54:42Hey.

00:54:43I really need to talk to you.

00:54:45Yeah, you and Austin are not sharing a room.

00:54:47That's not happening.

00:54:48I don't want to share a room with Austin.

00:54:51It's First Thanksgiving without Papa.

00:54:53It's really important that we make this a nice dinner for Mom.

00:54:57There's something I have to talk to you both about.

00:54:59Oh, yeah? What's up?

00:55:02Haley and I...

00:55:03I mean, you're right about your mom.

00:55:04She's not having an easy go of it.

00:55:08Papa passing and...

00:55:11this place.

00:55:13Mike.

00:55:15She's sad.

00:55:18She misses you.

00:55:20You guys were so close, you know?

00:55:22We're still close, Dad.

00:55:24You wanted to tell me something?

00:55:28Let's just have a really nice Thanksgiving dinner.

00:55:31Yeah, yeah, yeah.

00:55:32Starts with carving, apparently.

00:55:34I mean, just watch the video.

00:55:35Is it just YouTube carving?

00:55:37YouTube comma carving?

00:55:39Turkey video carving in the internet

00:55:42will lead you right there.

00:55:44Right there.

00:55:46This was supposed to be an easy merchandise move.

00:55:49And now you're asking me to pretend to be your girlfriend.

00:55:51Just relax, Emma.

00:55:52Everybody's going to be eating.

00:55:53You can do your business.

00:55:55I hope I can do my business, okay?

00:55:57You weren't even supposed to be here.

00:55:58Okay? You don't mess with the cartel.

00:56:00Okay.

00:56:01And that's another thing about the cartel.

00:56:03I should be part of this cartel.

00:56:05Hey, guys.

00:56:07What are you guys doing out here?

00:56:08Not much.

00:56:09Nature.

00:56:10Question.

00:56:12You carrying?

00:56:13What?

00:56:15You know.

00:56:16Hey.

00:56:17Oh, man.

00:56:18I don't even know what you're talking about.

00:56:20Come on, Mike.

00:56:22Yes.

00:56:23Hi.

00:56:24What are you selling?

00:56:25Dude.

00:56:26This is my sister's husband's brother.

00:56:29I don't care who it is.

00:56:31We have merchandise to move.

00:56:33How much are you looking for?

00:56:36Joint.

00:56:38Now you're just wasting our time.

00:56:40Oh, mom's stuffing is so good.

00:56:43Thank you, sweetie.

00:56:44So, uh, Hayley.

00:56:45How strict a vegetarian would you say that you are?

00:56:48Hey, John.

00:56:49We're exclusively vegetarian.

00:56:50I mean, can she handle, like, a little sausage?

00:56:52Come on.

00:56:53What the hell's the matter with you?

00:56:55I just wanted her to taste mom's stuffing.

00:56:57So she puts little sausages in it.

00:56:58I don't even know whether to accept that is what that is.

00:57:02But it's the grimmest shirt I ever saw in my life that you're wearing.

00:57:05Grandpa, I couldn't agree more.

00:57:06That's the ugliest sweater I've ever seen.

00:57:08Well, truthfully, I don't love it either.

00:57:10But mom picked it out.

00:57:11And she, um, is great.

00:57:14So, Hayley, I'm a good man with a good soul.

00:57:18There's a good chance I'm gonna murder you this Thanksgiving, John.

00:57:21Yeah, well, I took out a hell of a life insurance policy on myself

00:57:25so you could make me a very rich man.

00:57:33What are you doing?

00:57:35Nothing.

00:57:37Like you sold me some weed.

00:57:39Oh, my God.

00:57:40We have a teenage daughter in there, and you're out here doing drugs?

00:57:42Barely.

00:57:43Come on.

00:57:44Look, that's a shit ton of weed.

00:57:46Honey, they don't sell it like they used to.

00:57:48And you plan on smoking all of that?

00:57:50I don't know.

00:57:52My girlfriend scared the shit out of me.

00:57:57How are you feeling?

00:57:58Better.

00:58:00Well, get back inside.

00:58:03Before you get us all arrested.

00:58:09What the hell?

00:58:11Can you help with the chair?

00:58:13Uh, no, I got it.

00:58:15Why didn't they call back?

00:58:16What's your story?

00:58:17Maybe that's what this meant.

00:58:20Yeah, I had this rubric skewed when I was little.

00:58:22I was able to get all the blues.

00:58:24John, stop.

00:58:25Hey, what you got there, Josephine?

00:58:27Digestive enzymes.

00:58:29Huh.

00:58:30Nice.

00:58:31A lot of food to digest today.

00:58:34As well as new information.

00:58:37What kind of information?

00:58:40Uh-oh, look what I found.

00:58:41What?

00:58:42Look what I found.

00:58:43Oh!

00:58:44The spinach dip.

00:58:45Somebody's dug into it.

00:58:46There is a guy who'll accept it.

00:58:48Oh, honey.

00:58:49Mmm.

00:58:50It's perfect.

00:58:52Happy Thanksgiving.

00:58:54Can you move, Johnny?

00:58:56Don't worry about dropping it.

00:58:57It's thick.

00:58:58There we go.

00:59:00All we need to do is carve it.

00:59:03It just needs to be carved.

00:59:04And then we're good.

00:59:05We're all good.

00:59:06Rose, that turkey looks like ass.

00:59:08Old ass.

00:59:09You look like old ass.

00:59:11Mikey, would you please come into the kitchen, please?

00:59:14Yeah, let's sit here.

00:59:15Okay, I'll grab you a chair.

00:59:19Ow!

00:59:20You tell me what's going on.

00:59:21Great, Eureka, my good shirt.

00:59:22You tell me what's going on, or I am calling the cops.

00:59:24Sure, sure.

00:59:25She's my girlfriend, and I love her.

00:59:27You love her?

00:59:28Yeah.

00:59:29Oh, what's going on?

00:59:31Nothing's going on.

00:59:32Nothing.

00:59:33Ow!

00:59:35I broke my rib or my ass or something.

00:59:38Anyway, Hayley, I thought I could make you a plate.

00:59:41I know you don't normally eat a lot of meat.

00:59:43What?

00:59:44I'm an immovable wall.

00:59:45I'm not going to eat the turkey.

00:59:47Okay, you're thinking it's very awkward?

00:59:49Oh, my God.

00:59:50You know, today might be the day I try something new.

00:59:52See?

00:59:53She might want, you know, a breast or a thigh or...

00:59:56She does not want any turkey.

00:59:58No, he's right, Lauren.

00:59:59I'd usually go for a big hunk of breast,

01:00:01but maybe today I'd like a juicy drumstick.

01:00:04It sucks.

01:00:05Okay, see, you're gonna have to move.

01:00:06I need you to get a plate because it's feeling very sexual.

01:00:08And you need to do this for me

01:00:10because you're the best thing to do in the world.

01:00:12Button push.

01:00:14Jesus Christ.

01:00:15What are we doing here?

01:00:16I'm gonna go cool off.

01:00:17I'm gonna do my tens where I count to ten in the other room.

01:00:19Yes.

01:00:20And you need to grow up while I'm gone, okay?

01:00:22Because I can't deal with your childish behavior.

01:00:24I'm sorry about her.

01:00:25It's okay, John.

01:00:26Thank you for being so understanding.

01:00:28I like you.

01:00:29I know, but...

01:00:30I love you, and I love this baby.

01:00:32Don't worry.

01:00:33Which do you love more?

01:00:34Happy Thanksgiving.

01:00:35No!

01:00:37I do like these chips, but I'm not gonna lie.

01:00:39What?

01:00:41Are you drinking?

01:00:43Mom, it's a holiday.

01:00:45No!

01:00:48Dad, seriously?

01:00:50I'm just...

01:00:51Not happening.

01:00:52Get an edge off, Mom.

01:00:53No.

01:00:54The edge off of what?

01:00:56Between the breast and the drumstick,

01:00:58cut through the skin.

01:01:00Gently but firmly pull the drumstick and thigh

01:01:03away from the breast.

01:01:05Uh...

01:01:06Okay.

01:01:07Why is she carving my turkey?

01:01:10Put the skin down.

01:01:12The skin back.

01:01:14I'll put the skin down.

01:01:15I got it.

01:01:16Why does a turkey need a blanket instead?

01:01:18It's more than a blanket.

01:01:19It's tasty, tasty skin.

01:01:20It's terrible for cholesterol.

01:01:21The skin is the best part, Joe.

01:01:23Austin's turkey also, if we need it.

01:01:25Are you kidding me?

01:01:26No, Dad.

01:01:27What's happening?

01:01:28Are you kidding me?

01:01:29All right.

01:01:30Is everybody happy?

01:01:31Carve the turkey.

01:01:32Okay.

01:01:33The turkey that I have been cooking all day.

01:01:35Okay.

01:01:36There we go.

01:01:37No offense, Austin.

01:01:39No, none taken.

01:01:40The turkey looks perfect.

01:01:41Sit down.

01:01:42I'm going to cut the turkey now.

01:01:43Wait a second.

01:01:44We forgot Grace.

01:01:45Oh, boy.

01:01:46Okay.

01:01:47Ow.

01:01:48Oh, yeah, Grace.

01:01:49Oh.

01:01:50You want to do it?

01:01:51Oh, um...

01:01:52I can get this.

01:01:53Austin should lead Grace.

01:01:55Yeah.

01:01:56No.

01:01:57I got it.

01:01:58I got it.

01:01:59Somebody say Grace.

01:02:00That's more fighting over Grace than any Grace I ever knew.

01:02:02Okay.

01:02:03Uh...

01:02:04Well, first of all, thank you for cooking this beautiful dinner.

01:02:07You're welcome.

01:02:10Thanksgiving's all about thanks and truth.

01:02:14Amen.

01:02:15And forgiveness.

01:02:16And giving.

01:02:17And not groping your sister's friend, John.

01:02:19But mostly it's about coming home and coming out about things.

01:02:25Oh, holy shit.

01:02:27What?

01:02:28You all right?

01:02:29Are you okay?

01:02:31Come on.

01:02:32You can do it.

01:02:34Okay.

01:02:36Um...

01:02:38Uh, Mom?

01:02:41Is there something you want to say, sweetie?

01:02:44What?

01:02:46Uh, we need wine.

01:02:49Do you want wine?

01:02:50Do you want more wine?

01:02:51I, uh...

01:02:52We're out of wine.

01:02:53This table needs more wine.

01:02:54Who wants wine?

01:02:55I need some wine.

01:02:56Yeah, sure, more wine.

01:02:57I'm just gonna get a bottle.

01:02:58I'm just gonna get some wine, and I'll be right back.

01:03:00Grandma wants red.

01:03:03Okay.

01:03:05What a lunatic.

01:03:06We keep holding hands?

01:03:07Nah, eat up.

01:03:08There's no reason to wait now.

01:03:10The worst.

01:03:11The greatest.

01:03:12I mean, that was the worst.

01:03:14Was that not terrible?

01:03:15Yeah.

01:03:16I didn't even get much.

01:03:17Well, I'm covering a turkey neck.

01:03:19I'm gonna have more, so...

01:03:20I just put my foot right in it.

01:03:22Lori!

01:03:24Okay, so...

01:03:29You and Haley, you're dating, aren't you?

01:03:32Oh, my God.

01:03:33Thank God.

01:03:34Yes, yes.

01:03:36Please go tell everyone.

01:03:37Uh, yeah, no.

01:03:38Your mother would freak out

01:03:39if she wasn't the first person to know.

01:03:41Yeah, yeah, oh, my God.

01:03:42Maggie, thank you so much for being cool

01:03:44enough to put two and two together.

01:03:46Okay, um, stay here.

01:03:47I'm gonna go get Jessica so you can tell her.

01:03:49Oh, wait, wait, wait.

01:03:50I have to tell my mom

01:03:51before I start telling everyone else.

01:03:52Oh, yeah, no.

01:03:53I mean about the part about me being cool.

01:03:55Oh.

01:03:56I promise I will tell her how cool you are after.

01:03:58Okay, good.

01:03:59And, um, what exactly is scissoring?

01:04:03Because I can touch my toes,

01:04:05but I can't do the splits.

01:04:07Oh, um, maybe we revisit this after dessert?

01:04:11I gotta do the splits, don't I?

01:04:13Oh, God damn it.

01:04:21Oh, hey, sorry.

01:04:23I was just washing my hands.

01:04:25You should really lock the door.

01:04:27Unless you're looking for some company.

01:04:31Yeah, no, not looking for any company.

01:04:34No company needed.

01:04:35I was just using the bathroom.

01:04:38What are you doing?

01:04:39Uh, looking for wine.

01:04:40You're hiding.

01:04:41No, I'm not.

01:04:43Oh, you don't want to have sex right now.

01:04:45What?

01:04:46It's what you like, right?

01:04:47It makes you hot keeping it a secret.

01:04:49I don't like this version of you.

01:04:50I don't like this version of you.

01:04:53You are just so concerned

01:04:55about everyone else's feelings.

01:04:57What about mine?

01:04:59What about my feelings?

01:05:04Ugh, fine.

01:05:06Come on.

01:05:08You're really young, okay,

01:05:10and these are your formative years,

01:05:11and you're gonna be a crazy heartbreaker,

01:05:13but I am way too old for you.

01:05:15Can you put your shirt back on?

01:05:17This turkey tastes so good.

01:05:19Uh, Mom?

01:05:21Whoa, what took so long?

01:05:22Dipping into the side dish

01:05:24while we're all sitting here

01:05:25waiting for the main course.

01:05:27No, Mom.

01:05:29I wanted to tell you, uh...

01:05:30Lauren, you didn't even remember the wine.

01:05:32That was the whole point.

01:05:33Haley, you can have mine, I guess.

01:05:34John, let's talk for two seconds.

01:05:35Okay, sure.

01:05:36Mom, thank you so much

01:05:37for putting all this food together.

01:05:39Um, I could not be more grateful.

01:05:42I could not be more grateful

01:05:44to be able to spend Thanksgiving

01:05:45with all of you

01:05:47and be able to talk to you all

01:05:50so openly about, like, life

01:05:53and gather and just...

01:05:54And I have an announcement

01:05:55to make, everyone.

01:05:56Don't, don't do this, like, this.

01:05:59This is not what...

01:06:02Whoa.

01:06:03I'm going to...

01:06:04What is this?

01:06:06It's just French lemon.

01:06:07Let's see what happens.

01:06:08What?

01:06:09Mm-mm.

01:06:10No, it's not what it...

01:06:11It's not what it looks like!

01:06:12No! No, I...

01:06:13She kissed me!

01:06:15Oh, my God!

01:06:16She kissed me!

01:06:17She kissed me!

01:06:18I kissed him.

01:06:19It was yours.

01:06:20You son of a bitch.

01:06:21What?

01:06:22Oh, my baby!

01:06:23Grounded.

01:06:25She kissed me!

01:06:26I thought it wasn't adorable!

01:06:28No!

01:06:29I did it for him, too!

01:06:31Never stop.

01:06:32It's enough.

01:06:33Easy, easy.

01:06:34You never know.

01:06:35Stop.

01:06:36No!

01:06:37Not mashed potatoes!

01:06:38Yeah, cheese, cheese!

01:06:39I hate mashed potatoes.

01:06:40Mashed potatoes are the best!

01:06:41Stop, stop, stop, stop!

01:06:42Guys, guys, guys, guys!

01:06:43Oh, mashed potatoes!

01:06:45That was my spinach dip.

01:06:47Yeah.

01:06:48Come on!

01:06:49Ugh.

01:06:50What are you doing?

01:06:51Hayley and I are in a relationship.

01:06:54Wait.

01:06:55What?

01:07:01Knew it.

01:07:02She's pretty, the little girl.

01:07:06You're a lesbian.

01:07:09A lesbian Hare Krishna.

01:07:12What about Austin?

01:07:14There is no me and Austin.

01:07:16Austin said you guys had sex.

01:07:21You slept with Austin?

01:07:23Sorry to interrupt,

01:07:24but there are two men unloading what seems to be

01:07:27a whole lot of weed from their van.

01:07:30Oh!

01:07:36I'm sorry.

01:07:40Hey!

01:07:41Hey, you guys!

01:07:42What are you doing with my brother's girlfriend's truck?

01:07:46Girlfriend?

01:07:47Emma, I'm so happy for you!

01:07:49Hell no!

01:07:50We're not dating.

01:07:51Who the hell are you?

01:07:52Wait, this is the cartel?

01:07:53I'm Bubba.

01:07:54Cartel.

01:07:55Chino.

01:07:56I'm calling the cops.

01:07:57No, no, no.

01:07:58We can't call the cops because we're accomplices.

01:08:00Oh, yeah.

01:08:01Hey, this is your weed.

01:08:02My parents do drugs.

01:08:03You do drugs?

01:08:04Wait, wait, wait.

01:08:05All right, all right.

01:08:06You're going to put a sword on me?

01:08:07Your brother owes us money!

01:08:08Take my brother!

01:08:09We can't let him take you!

01:08:10No, you are not joining our cartel.

01:08:11You are fired.

01:08:12You are fired.

01:08:13You can't fire me.

01:08:14Okay, you are cut off.

01:08:15Oh, come on!

01:08:16All right, I'll kill him.

01:08:17Seriously?

01:08:18Absolutely.

01:08:19You've got to make this go away.

01:08:20I'm trying to come out of the goddamn closet here, people!

01:08:25Jesus!

01:08:26What is happening?

01:08:27Haley!

01:08:28Get out of here!

01:08:29Get out of here!

01:08:30Get out of here!

01:08:31That was my turkey.

01:08:32It wasn't him.

01:08:33All right.

01:08:34All right.

01:08:35What, does this mean there's no dessert?

01:08:36Haley?

01:08:37Haley?

01:08:38Haley, open the door, please!

01:08:39Haley!

01:08:40Haley!

01:08:41Haley!

01:08:42Haley!

01:08:43Haley!

01:08:44Haley!

01:08:45Haley!

01:08:46Haley!

01:08:47Haley!

01:08:48Haley!

01:08:49Haley, open the door, please!

01:08:50I'm leaving.

01:08:51I don't want to talk to you.

01:08:52Haley, please open the door.

01:08:53Haley, come on.

01:08:54Open the door.

01:08:55Go away, Lauren.

01:08:56Why would you tell my dad we slept together?

01:08:57I know.

01:08:58You know, this is the worst day of my life.

01:08:59Why didn't you tell your family about Haley?

01:09:00I did.

01:09:01I've been trying.

01:09:02Before today.

01:09:03Before she came.

01:09:04Before I came.

01:09:05I didn't know you were coming, Austin.

01:09:06You know what I'm talking about.

01:09:07I wanted to make sure it was serious.

01:09:08You wanted to make sure it was serious.

01:09:09I did.

01:09:10I did.

01:09:11I did.

01:09:12I did.

01:09:13I did.

01:09:14I did.

01:09:15I did.

01:09:16I did.

01:09:17I did.

01:09:18I did.

01:09:19I did.

01:09:20I did.

01:09:21I'm embarrassed.

01:09:22You wanted to make sure it was serious.

01:09:23I have watched you dive headfirst into over 100 different phases over the last three years.

01:09:24You remember when you were into aerobic polo dancing?

01:09:25It's kind of in that same vein.

01:09:26You know what I mean?

01:09:27Don't compare Haley to a fitness class, Austin.

01:09:28That is not fair.

01:09:29I'm sorry.

01:09:30I'm sorry.

01:09:31I'm sorry.

01:09:32It's not fair.

01:09:33I'm sorry.

01:09:34I'm sorry.

01:09:35I don't know what to do.

01:09:36I don't know what to do here.

01:09:37I mean, it wasn't so bad being in a relationship for a day, right?

01:09:43I just need to clear my head.

01:09:44You're avoiding my question.

01:09:45Question?

01:09:46You know, it wasn't so bad being in a relationship for a day.

01:09:49I mean, we lived together for three years.

01:09:51I always felt like we were in a relationship.

01:09:53It always feels like we're in one.

01:09:55What are you doing?

01:09:57You know me better than anyone.

01:09:59And I know you better than anyone.

01:10:02No.

01:10:07Stop. No.

01:10:09Haley. Haley, please stop.

01:10:12Haley, Haley, Haley, Haley, Haley.

01:10:16You had sex with Austin.

01:10:18It was way before you and me.

01:10:20You should have told me.

01:10:22What good would that have done?

01:10:24You know, I always said your friendship was...

01:10:27You just made me feel like I was crazy.

01:10:30I didn't want you to worry about anything happening.

01:10:32You just kissed him.

01:10:33He kissed me.

01:10:34You let it happen.

01:10:36You know, I feel like such an asshole.

01:10:40Here I am to meet your parents

01:10:42and you two are just parading around

01:10:44like a couple with a secret.

01:10:46It's not like that. I love you.

01:10:48I love you.

01:10:51It's a really shitty time to say it for the first time.

01:10:57I can't trust you.

01:10:59But I do love... I love you.

01:11:02You're the one I love. It's not him. Come on.

01:11:05This entire day,

01:11:08my family wouldn't listen to me.

01:11:10They are not the problem.

01:11:13You are the problem.

01:11:15I... You...

01:11:16Just stop. Just stop.

01:11:20You have no idea what you want.

01:11:22I don't want to be gay, Haley.

01:11:27Nobody wants this. Nobody wants...

01:11:30I'm sorry.

01:11:34I'm sorry.

01:11:39Finally, I have some honesty.

01:11:47I just... I can't do this anymore.

01:12:00Where's Haley going?

01:12:01She's leaving because of you. I hope you're happy.

01:12:04Of course I'm not happy.

01:12:06Why didn't you just tell us?

01:12:08Mom, you don't listen to me.

01:12:10You need to be more clear.

01:12:12I had no idea.

01:12:13I knew you were not going to accept this.

01:12:16I didn't know I had to. Just leave me alone.

01:12:18I didn't know. Leave me alone.

01:12:20Just leave me alone.

01:12:22Don't go. Leave her alone.

01:12:26She's so angry with us.

01:12:28She's like completely...

01:12:30Not at us. Not at us.

01:12:32She's angry, yes.

01:12:34She's hurt.

01:12:35Is she going to be okay?

01:12:36She is going to be okay.

01:12:38It's just going to take a little while.

01:12:40Women are nicer than men.

01:12:43Women?

01:12:44That's all you got for me?

01:12:46Women are nicer than men?

01:12:48She follows her heart.

01:12:49She's always followed her heart.

01:12:51That's all she's doing now.

01:12:53Oh, boy.

01:12:55Oh, boy.

01:12:56Are we bad parents?

01:12:59We're...

01:13:00We're...

01:13:03Not terrible. We're not great.

01:13:05We're well.

01:13:07Fair.

01:13:12Trust me.

01:13:14Everything's going to be okay.

01:13:17I promise.

01:13:30I promise.

01:14:00Come on.

01:14:06Forget what Father Brennan said

01:14:10You were not born insane

01:14:13Leave a note on your bed

01:14:17Let your mother know you're safe

01:14:20And by the time she wakes

01:14:24Will have driven through the state

01:14:28Will have driven through the night

01:14:33Baby, come on

01:14:47I've got it.

01:14:57How are you feeling?

01:15:01I know this is not the life you imagined for me.

01:15:05Right.

01:15:08I don't think this is the life you imagined for yourself.

01:15:13I'm sorry that I didn't know. I'm sorry.

01:15:19It's okay.

01:15:20It's okay.

01:15:27I just thought Mike was the only one dating a lesbian.

01:15:34Mom, I knew you were funny.

01:15:36I know. I'm very...

01:15:38I'm very funny.

01:15:42You're okay with it?

01:15:44Oh, my God. Yes. Yes.

01:15:46Of course I'm okay with it. I mean, I need...

01:15:50I need to sort of adjust my idea.

01:15:54Life never goes the way you expect it, that's all.

01:15:59But you're...

01:16:02Yeah, you're...

01:16:04You're good.

01:16:11Is it okay if I ask you a question?

01:16:14What's the question?

01:16:15Is this your first time with a girl?

01:16:21Oh...

01:16:23I slept with...

01:16:26Elizabeth?

01:16:27Which Elizabeth?

01:16:28A bunch more.

01:16:29Which Elizabeth?

01:16:30College roommate? College roommate?

01:16:32Oh, my God.

01:16:33She's a little mouse.

01:16:37Wow. She had hidden depths.

01:16:41Can I ask you one more question?

01:16:43Oh, God. What?

01:16:44Did you always know that you were gay?

01:16:50I just thought I was really open.

01:16:53Oh, good. Someone's at the door.

01:16:57Hey.

01:16:58Hey, Ross.

01:16:59How are you, honey?

01:17:00Hi. Ronnie said you were here.

01:17:02Yes.

01:17:03Here.

01:17:04My daughter brought me the money.

01:17:06Well, I'm very happy to hear that.

01:17:09Okay. You have a good morning.

01:17:13Thank you for that.

01:17:15Do you want to get some fresh air?

01:17:17I would love to.

01:17:21You know, um...

01:17:23My roommate in college was a lesbian.

01:17:25Did I ever tell you that?

01:17:26No.

01:17:27Mm-hmm.

01:17:28She told me I wasn't her type.

01:17:32I was so insulted.

01:17:34I don't...

01:17:36I don't even know what to do with that information.

01:17:39So, I'm...

01:17:40Do you...

01:17:41Do you, um...

01:17:43Like having sex with men?

01:17:46I'm just trying to understand.

01:17:48I'm just trying to understand.

01:17:50Don't get mad.

01:17:51No, I'm not mad.

01:17:52Um, no, I just...

01:17:54Prefer women.

01:17:56It just clicks with women.

01:17:58It never clicked that way with men.

01:18:02Why didn't you tell me?

01:18:06I think it was easier...

01:18:08Thinking.

01:18:10I...

01:18:13I think I was so worried that...

01:18:15That you guys wouldn't be okay with it.

01:18:18That I'd never stop to think if I was.

01:18:21I'm so nervous.

01:18:24Ah!

01:18:26Ugh.

01:18:30No, it's okay.

01:18:31A parent is always happy.

01:18:32Is there not a happiest child?

01:18:34I'm happy. I'm happy. I'm happy.

01:18:36I want you to be happy.

01:18:38I'm happy.

01:18:39I'm just figuring stuff out.

01:18:41I know. I know.

01:18:45Thank you, Mom.

01:18:47You're so welcome.

01:18:50Kaylee doesn't hate you.

01:18:51Kaylee hates me.

01:18:52She does not hate you.

01:18:53She hates me.

01:18:54She does not hate you.

01:18:55She does.

01:18:56And we like her.

01:18:57Just so you know.

01:18:58But you're the one...

01:18:59You're the one that has to be okay with it.

01:19:01Not us.

01:19:02Thank you, Mom.

01:19:08I would do anything in the whole world for you.

01:19:10You know that, right?

01:19:12Good.

01:19:16This coffee is disgusting.

01:19:18I know. It's so gross.

01:19:20It's Ronnie's special food.

01:19:22It's not special.

01:19:38Hey.

01:19:39Hey.

01:19:46You didn't say goodbye this morning.

01:19:48Yeah, I thought I'd give you some more time with your parents.

01:19:51Grandma took all of your smoked turkey leftovers.

01:19:54I'm glad she liked it.

01:19:56I promised her that I was going to send her another one next year.

01:20:00I'm going to move out.

01:20:09I'm sorry about yesterday.

01:20:12Austin, the entire day was my fault.

01:20:14I'm talking about the kiss.

01:20:15I know. It's okay.

01:20:17I mean, I guess...

01:20:20I didn't realize how serious you and Haley were.

01:20:27Yeah.

01:20:30I love her. I don't...

01:20:34I should have told her sooner.

01:20:36Yeah, well, you should have told everyone.

01:20:39I should have told everyone.

01:20:41I should have told everyone so much sooner.

01:20:45You're my best friend, Austin.

01:20:49If it was going to be a guy,

01:20:52it would have been you.

01:21:11Yeah.

01:21:13Yeah.

01:21:42Yeah.

01:21:50Yeah.

01:22:12Yeah.

01:22:15Yeah.

01:22:17Yeah.

01:22:37So often in this culture, we come up against this fear.

01:22:40And in love, too, it's fear that often gets in the way of its magic.

01:22:44I'm sorry.

01:22:45The class started an hour ago.

01:22:47I'm sorry to you, too.

01:22:50I need to talk to you.

01:22:51What are you doing here?

01:22:53You deserve flowers.

01:22:57I want to be the one that gives you flowers.

01:23:02I was wrong. I'm sorry.

01:23:04This is all new and scary and it's wonderful and exciting, but it's scary.

01:23:10And that thing with Austin, I'm so sorry.

01:23:12I should have told you.

01:23:14I love you. I'm in love with you.

01:23:17This is not how I saw my life.

01:23:19But it's so much better than anything I could have imagined.

01:23:24And I want to be with you.

01:23:27If you'll take me back.

01:23:33Is that a yes?

01:23:34Yes.

01:23:36I have something I want to ask you.

01:23:39Oh, no. I just feel really bad on the spot.

01:23:44Will you move in with me?

01:23:47Yes.

01:23:48Yes?

01:23:49Of course.

01:23:59I love you.

01:24:01I love you, too.

01:24:03Hey.

01:24:05I'm the best version of myself with you.

01:24:08When are you planning to tell your parents we're moving in?

01:24:11Oh, uh, I was thinking Christmas.

01:24:37You

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