• 2 months ago
#baywatch #movies #viral
Transcript
00:00OCEANIC MOTHERFUCKERS
00:10Welcome to Baywatch.
00:12Our team is the elite of the elite.
00:15We're the heart and soul of this very beach.
00:18Come on Pete, make my pets a little bigger.
00:20And don't cover up my front bump.
00:21You got it. Huge dick.
00:23Big dick.
00:25OCEANIC MOTHERFUCKERS
00:28We're staring into the abyss here.
00:29It's up to us to restore the Baywatch brand.
00:33Hey One Direction, you here for the qualifiers?
00:35I'm Matt Brody. I don't have to try out.
00:37I've got two gold medals.
00:38Hey!
00:39Matt Brody.
00:40Matt Brody, yes!
00:41We still don't give a fuck.
00:43Training begins at 0600.
00:45This has nothing to do with saving people!
00:47These are refrigerators!
00:48This is Baywatch, you pussy!
00:52What is it that you think we do here?
00:53Prevent people from getting sunburned and occasionally stop them from drowning.
00:58Everything's okay!
01:00Stop it!
01:01I can't save you if you're being a dick!
01:03This is the guy you think is a good PR opportunity for us.
01:06Look, I get it. You're big, Sasquatch.
01:08But I'm fast.
01:10Shit, didn't touch you.
01:11You suck.
01:14Drugs. Murder.
01:16Dead body on our beach.
01:17And it all started once she took over.
01:20Some people are up to no good.
01:22We're gonna have to do what Baywatch does best.
01:25The truth is, one of you will probably die.
01:27Yeah.
01:28What? No.
01:31Am I the only one that thinks this is clearly a job for the police?
01:34Thank you, blue-eyed demon.
01:35You got one job.
01:36Make sure swim-happy white people don't drown.
01:41Damn!
01:42So why does she always look like she's running in slow-mo?
01:44She's the reason I believe in God.
01:49We gotta go undercover.
01:52What you got?
01:53I'm undercover.
01:54Yeah, a little too undercover.
01:57Go, go!
01:58I'm oceanic, motherfucker.
02:01Move, move, move!
02:03Jason Bourne ain't got shit on me!
02:08Why are we in the morgue?
02:09We gotta get some hard evidence.
02:10Someone's coming.
02:11What do we do now?
02:12Now we hide.
02:13Where?
02:14I'm laying on a dead old lady.
02:16Our drawers are empty. Why'd you pick that drawer?
02:18Something just tripped on me.
02:19It's just a little dead man's fact.
02:21Necrotic liquid fat.
02:22Now will you stop being a baby?
02:24That's it! I'm out!