A barrister attempts to discourage his daughter's infatuation for a philanderer, by revealing his past. The plan backfires when the daughter's would-be father-in-law threatens to reveal the barrister's shady background.
Source: IMDB
Source: IMDB
Category
🎥
Short filmTranscript
00:00:00The American Pronunciation Guide Presents
00:00:08The American Pronunciation Guide Presents
00:00:16The American Pronunciation Guide Presents
00:00:28The American Pronunciation Guide Presents
00:00:36The American Pronunciation Guide Presents
00:00:44The American Pronunciation Guide Presents
00:00:52The American Pronunciation Guide Presents
00:01:00The American Pronunciation Guide Presents
00:01:08The American Pronunciation Guide Presents
00:01:16The American Pronunciation Guide Presents
00:01:24The American Pronunciation Guide Presents
00:01:32The American Pronunciation Guide Presents
00:01:40The American Pronunciation Guide Presents
00:01:48The American Pronunciation Guide Presents
00:01:56The American Pronunciation Guide Presents
00:02:04The American Pronunciation Guide Presents
00:02:12The American Pronunciation Guide Presents
00:02:20The American Pronunciation Guide Presents
00:02:28The American Pronunciation Guide Presents
00:02:36The American Pronunciation Guide Presents
00:02:44The American Pronunciation Guide Presents
00:02:52The American Pronunciation Guide Presents
00:03:00The American Pronunciation Guide Presents
00:03:08The American Pronunciation Guide Presents
00:03:16The American Pronunciation Guide Presents
00:03:24The American Pronunciation Guide Presents
00:03:32The American Pronunciation Guide Presents
00:03:40The American Pronunciation Guide Presents
00:03:48The American Pronunciation Guide Presents
00:03:58The American Pronunciation Guide Presents
00:04:06The American Pronunciation Guide Presents
00:04:14The American Pronunciation Guide Presents
00:04:22Oh, surely not. You don't mean that.
00:04:24Ah, here she is.
00:04:28Please, sir, it's Mr. Gregory Throstle.
00:04:31At last.
00:04:32Good morning, Mr. Proudfoot.
00:04:33Good heavens, Throstle. What's been happening?
00:04:36Where is my daughter?
00:04:37I don't know, sir. She left me and went off with some fellow.
00:04:39What?
00:04:40It happened as we were leaving the theatre.
00:04:42Sherry ran into this fellow.
00:04:43She seemed to know him awfully well.
00:04:45And he suggested that we should all go to a nightclub.
00:04:47Don't tell me you went.
00:04:48Well, I had no alternative.
00:04:49Sherry seemed all for it.
00:04:50Well, I could hardly leave her alone with the fellow.
00:04:53So we all went along to the Nick-Neck.
00:04:55The what?
00:04:55The Nick-Neck.
00:04:58What does that mean?
00:04:59Well, that was the name of the club.
00:05:00Oh, the name of the club. Oh, stupid of me, sir.
00:05:03It was an awful place, sir.
00:05:04Everybody was laughing and dancing.
00:05:07And at midnight,
00:05:09a whole lot of girls came onto the stage with practically nothing on.
00:05:12Oh, why didn't you phone for me?
00:05:15Go on, Gregory.
00:05:16Well, I just couldn't stand it any longer.
00:05:18So I told this fellow exactly what I thought of him.
00:05:20And then I slapped his face.
00:05:23Well, after I picked myself up, Sherry and he had vanished.
00:05:26Do you know the name of that fellow?
00:05:28Yes, I think it was, um,
00:05:30uh, Fred Gilby.
00:05:31Fred Gilby?
00:05:33Why, there's a Gilby family in this block of flats.
00:05:34Aren't those the people with all the money?
00:05:36Exactly.
00:05:37The father of that boy is Alfred Gilby,
00:05:39the shady, bivvulous bounder on the fourth floor.
00:05:41The man who runs Greyhounds.
00:05:43Precisely.
00:05:44I helped to prosecute him in the 1945 stadium scandal.
00:05:47One of his dogs had been given a stimulant.
00:05:49It did 200 yards in six seconds.
00:05:51His wife seems quite a pleasant woman.
00:05:53She's an ex-musical comedy actress.
00:05:55What sort of progeny can you expect from parents like that?
00:05:57The boy is nothing but a fox.
00:05:59Uh, a wolf, wolf.
00:06:00And if it's the last thing I do, I'll keep the wolf from my daughter.
00:06:09Aunt Sherry, I don't...
00:06:11I like you quite a lot.
00:06:15I don't know what the present generation is coming to.
00:06:17In the whole of my experience,
00:06:18I've never met such wanton behavior on the part of this... this boy.
00:06:22Oh, gosh, I'd better go.
00:06:24All right, sweetie.
00:06:25Good night.
00:06:29Good night, darling.
00:06:31Till tomorrow.
00:06:32It's tomorrow already.
00:06:43My father would never have allowed it.
00:06:47My father is quite undermined in his own business.
00:06:56I don't intend to say very much to you in front of Gregory,
00:06:59but I do intend that he shall hear me say this.
00:07:01I'm ashamed, bitterly and grievously ashamed.
00:07:04Why, Poppy, what have you done?
00:07:06Come along, darling.
00:07:09You needn't wait, Russell.
00:07:10I'll see you at the office in the morning.
00:07:12Oh, here's 10 shillings for a taxi home.
00:07:15Oh, I don't mind waiting, Mr. Crawford.
00:07:17I can get a workman's bottle at 4 a.m.
00:07:19Not in evening dress you can't.
00:07:20Besides, you're not a working man.
00:07:22Well, I do 11 hours a day.
00:07:24That's what I mean.
00:07:26Now, no more arguments. Off you go.
00:07:28And put a raw steak on that eye.
00:07:31I mean, corned beef or something.
00:07:33Go on, off you go.
00:07:41Now, miss, I'll ask you to give an account of yourself.
00:07:44Where have you been?
00:07:44Daddy, I've had a wonderful time.
00:07:46Dad took me to a nightclub.
00:07:48Oh, Mummy, he's such a darling.
00:07:50He lives three little floors up.
00:07:52Perhaps he's still thinking of me, whispering,
00:07:56Cherry, Cherry, Cherry.
00:08:00What's her name?
00:08:01Cherry, Cherry Proudfoot.
00:08:04Isn't she the daughter of that little legal loony downstairs?
00:08:07Yes, that's right.
00:08:08Now, listen.
00:08:16I don't want you to have anything to do with her, see?
00:08:18It was her father that made those enquiries
00:08:20about my stimulated greyhounds, remember?
00:08:22Well, he couldn't help that. It was only his job.
00:08:24Oh, what a job.
00:08:25Solicitors and lawyers are nothing but limpets
00:08:27and Proudfoot's the lowest limpet of the lot.
00:08:29Alfred Gilby, your precious Fred's father,
00:08:33is nothing more than a social drone.
00:08:35He's a black market gadabout.
00:08:37He's traded in cameras, cigarette lighters and silk stockings.
00:08:40And just before last Christmas, he was in undersized walnuts.
00:08:43And just before last Christmas, he was in undersized walnuts.
00:08:47At the present moment, he happens to be running greyhounds.
00:08:49And it won't be my fault if very shortly
00:08:51I don't make him run faster than they do.
00:08:53He's a reproach to decent society.
00:08:55And so is his wretched son.
00:08:56Why, what's Fred done?
00:08:57Silence. I won't even discuss him.
00:08:59You'll have to, Daddy. I'm going to marry him.
00:09:01Oh.
00:09:06What did you say?
00:09:08I'm going to marry Fred.
00:09:10I will remind you that you are only 19, Cherry.
00:09:12And until one day before your 21st birthday,
00:09:15any question of your marriage is absolutely subject to my consent,
00:09:18given in writing on form UA-2794.
00:09:21Very well, then. I'll apply to a magistrate.
00:09:25Where did you get that knowledge from?
00:09:26I looked it up in one of your books as soon as I met Fred.
00:09:30I knew you wouldn't like him.
00:09:31You're a Mr. Barrett of Wimpo Street.
00:09:34That is a ridiculous remark.
00:09:36Mr. Barrett of Wimpo Street is an actor.
00:09:38Humphrey, I do think you're a hard man.
00:09:40I'm nothing of the sort.
00:09:42I'm merely trying to do my duty.
00:09:44Somebody's got to look after my daughter,
00:09:45and if I can't do it, who can?
00:09:47Oh, don't, Poppy, please.
00:09:49I didn't mean anything I said. I didn't, really.
00:09:52Except that I love Fred.
00:09:54That's all right, Cherry.
00:09:55I didn't mean anything I said, either.
00:09:57Except that I'll never give my consent.
00:10:00Never, never, never.
00:10:02Now say goodnight to your father and get straight off to bed.
00:10:05Goodnight, Poppy.
00:10:07Goodnight, Mommy.
00:10:08Goodnight, my sweet.
00:10:10Goodnight, Cherry.
00:10:17Well.
00:10:20You needn't worry about her.
00:10:22She knows how to take care of herself.
00:10:23I just can't adapt myself to things.
00:10:26It seems only yesterday I danced a little girl on my knee.
00:10:29Now suddenly, she's a woman.
00:10:32Little girls are born women, Humphrey.
00:10:34I did so want a barrister for a son-in-law.
00:10:36I don't know why.
00:10:37I do.
00:10:39It's because you never manage to become one yourself.
00:10:41But you're a wonderful solicitor.
00:10:43Well, that's not much consolation.
00:10:45Look, Caroline.
00:10:46For 32 years, I've carried this in my dispatch case.
00:10:50My father gave it to me to encourage my ambition.
00:10:56But I've never once sworn it in court.
00:10:58Never mind, dear.
00:10:59You've been instructing solicitor for seven important lawsuits.
00:11:02We've lost six of them.
00:11:04But you won the seventh.
00:11:05No, the defendant dies.
00:11:06The defendant died.
00:11:09Fred Gilbey.
00:11:10Son of Alfred Gilbey.
00:11:12I won't stand for it.
00:11:14Esther said,
00:11:16A to D,
00:11:17L to R,
00:11:18can't count a thing.
00:11:19What are you going to do?
00:11:20I'm going to phone young Gilbey and tell him exactly what I think of him.
00:11:22Humphrey, don't do any such thing.
00:11:24You can't call him at this hour.
00:11:25Oh, can't I? We'll see.
00:11:27Well, for heaven's sake, don't lose your temper.
00:11:29You'll only make things more difficult.
00:11:30I'm going to give that boy a piece of my mind.
00:11:33Hello. Hello.
00:11:34This is Humphrey Proudfoot speaking.
00:11:35Humphrey Proudfoot of Proudfoot, Proudfoot and Proudfoot.
00:11:38Solicitors.
00:11:39I just want to tell you that I think you're a bounder, sir.
00:11:42Oh, you do, do you?
00:11:43I certainly do.
00:11:44And I'll advise you to keep as far away from my daughter as possible.
00:11:47Only a scoundrel would keep a young girl out till past two o'clock in the morning.
00:11:51I did?
00:11:51You certainly did.
00:11:53You took her to the knack-knick.
00:11:54The... the... the... the knock-knick.
00:11:57The... the knick-knock.
00:11:58It's no laughing matter, sir.
00:12:00You're nothing but a loose fish.
00:12:02A libertine.
00:12:03And a very nasty chip off a double-dealing old block.
00:12:07Humphrey.
00:12:08Hey, you. Who do you think you're talking to?
00:12:10This is Alfred Gulpey, not my son.
00:12:12Steady. Steady.
00:12:13I'm going to give you another drink over.
00:12:15Oh, no. Don't bother.
00:12:17No, please. Please don't bother.
00:12:19So get yourself ready.
00:12:20Don't bother, please.
00:12:24That boy sounded very rude.
00:12:25It wasn't the boy. I got the father.
00:12:28He's coming down here to see me.
00:12:30Then I'd better wait until he arrives.
00:12:32Oh, no, no, no, Caroline.
00:12:33No, I'd rather you didn't hear what he has to say.
00:12:35That sort of man uses words you wouldn't even understand.
00:12:38It won't matter if I stay.
00:12:39No, no, no. Perhaps you'd better wait in the hall
00:12:41and be ready to fetch a policeman or something.
00:12:52Sounds like an awful bad temper.
00:12:53Well, he's not going to frighten me.
00:12:57Don't let him see your wig.
00:12:59Wig? Wig?
00:13:01Well, I had it a moment ago.
00:13:03Ratchet, where did I put the ratchet thing?
00:13:10It's Mr. Alfred, Gilby Humphrey.
00:13:13Well, well. Isn't it a small world?
00:13:18Yes, very.
00:13:20Would you like a cup of tea, Mr. Gilby?
00:13:22I'd hate it.
00:13:23Well, a cup of cocoa.
00:13:24Don't be disgusting.
00:13:25Oh, I just thought it might make you feel more at home.
00:13:27At home? Here, in the smallest bed in the building?
00:13:29Now you're being insulting.
00:13:30Oh, I'm awfully sorry. I didn't mean to be...
00:13:32Won't you sit down just for a moment?
00:13:34Why just for a moment? Am I not welcome here?
00:13:36Oh, for goodness sake.
00:13:42I hope I'm not keeping you up.
00:13:44No, no, no. As a matter of fact,
00:13:45I'm rather anxious to have a chat with you.
00:13:47Indeed.
00:13:48The anxiety seems to have turned your toupee white.
00:13:52Oh, I'm sorry. I was only trying it on.
00:13:55Yes, you were trying on something
00:13:57when you telephoned, weren't you?
00:13:58Would you care for a glass of beer?
00:14:00A glass of beer, if I can find one.
00:14:02Are you trying to weedle me?
00:14:03No, no, no, no. Certainly not.
00:14:05It's just that I think it's time we buried the hatchet.
00:14:07That's why you telephoned and called me
00:14:09a disgusting chip off a nasty old block.
00:14:12I wasn't aware that I was addressing you.
00:14:14My remarks were intended for your son.
00:14:16Oh. Oh, that's different.
00:14:20That makes me feel much more friendly.
00:14:23Oh, I'm glad.
00:14:24If it weren't for the fact that I've reluctantly agreed
00:14:27for Fred to marry your daughter...
00:14:28Over my dead body!
00:14:30That's an excellent suggestion.
00:14:31We'll bury you with the hatchet.
00:14:33It'll save my son having a Sabbatarian peak of knees
00:14:35for a father-in-law.
00:14:37You're trying to saddle the wrong horse, Gilby.
00:14:39I've kept a young fellow named Gregory Crossell
00:14:40up my sleeve for over two years,
00:14:42and I'm not going to let him down, no.
00:14:44Listen, Proudfoot,
00:14:46of Proudfoot, Proudfoot and Proudfoot,
00:14:48so less he taws.
00:14:51By the way, Proudfoot, you might never call your big toe,
00:14:52it's shorter.
00:14:54If my son is stupid enough to want to marry your daughter,
00:14:56he's going to marry her.
00:14:58And nothing you can say or do will stop him.
00:15:00Well, that's why you make a blue mouth.
00:15:01A what?
00:15:03A blue mouth.
00:15:04You're going back a bit, aren't you?
00:15:06On the contrary, I'm looking ahead.
00:15:08It so happens that Cherry is underage.
00:15:10And any question about marriage
00:15:12requires my permission in writing.
00:15:13And you're not going to give it?
00:15:14Not for all the tea in China.
00:15:16There.
00:15:17And after I've been so charming,
00:15:19I've even brought you a bag of luxuries.
00:15:21What of?
00:15:22What sort of luxuries?
00:15:24Eggs.
00:15:25Twelve beautiful new laid eggs.
00:15:27And now I don't know what to do with them.
00:15:29What did you say?
00:15:30Nothing.
00:15:31No, but you thought something, didn't you?
00:15:32No, no, not exactly.
00:15:34Would you like to hold them for a moment?
00:15:35No, I would not.
00:15:37You ungrateful little humbug.
00:15:39When I bring you a gift, you take it and like it, see?
00:15:41Steady, steady.
00:15:42Now, I don't want to take any unfair advantage, big toe,
00:15:45so I'm going to ask you quite nicely and simply.
00:15:48Are you going to let those two kids
00:15:51find their happiness in their own way?
00:15:53Look out, look out.
00:15:54Or are you going to be an interfering old nuisance,
00:15:56and make them both feel terribly sad and unhappy?
00:15:59I'll think of all that.
00:16:00Ha, ha, ha.
00:16:01You've had a narrow escape.
00:16:03Yes, thank you.
00:16:04Thank you very much.
00:16:06And now I'll bid you good night.
00:16:08Good night.
00:16:09No hard feelings?
00:16:11No, no, none at all.
00:16:12Sure?
00:16:13Quite, quite.
00:16:14That's a stout fellow.
00:16:18Good night, big toe.
00:16:21Night, night.
00:16:22Good night.
00:16:27Well, there you are, dear.
00:16:28Come down to the stadium and see some more trials again.
00:16:30I'd love to.
00:16:32I've enjoyed myself.
00:16:33Good.
00:16:34Don't be too long, Fred.
00:16:35Get down to the stadium as soon as you can.
00:16:36Tell Bertie to give him a rubdown.
00:16:38And no stimulants.
00:16:39What did she say?
00:16:40Uh, nothing, Dad.
00:16:41Well, I'm going to have my afternoon nap.
00:16:42It shan't be long.
00:16:44Bye-bye.
00:16:45See you soon.
00:16:46Bye-bye.
00:16:47Bye-bye.
00:16:48Bye-bye.
00:16:50Bye-bye.
00:16:51Bye-bye.
00:16:52Bye-bye.
00:16:53Bye-bye.
00:16:54Bye-bye.
00:16:56He's a dear, really.
00:16:57When you know him.
00:16:58Guess which.
00:16:59That one.
00:17:01Wrong.
00:17:02Oh, no.
00:17:03Oh, yes.
00:17:08I want to cry.
00:17:09Don't be silly.
00:17:11A few more months, you won't destroy it, will you?
00:17:14Fred, if ever I do, try and catch it, will you?
00:17:17Come on.
00:17:26Oh, thank you.
00:17:28I do wish we had a little flat like this.
00:17:30It's so much cozier than ours.
00:17:32Are you sure Mr. Gillsy won't mind you calling on us?
00:17:34My dear, he couldn't care less.
00:17:36I mean, he'd be delighted.
00:17:39It is such a pity our two husbands can't grow to like each other.
00:17:42Mr. Proudfoot's such a sweet little man.
00:17:45I hate Alfred making that rude noise whenever he sees him.
00:17:51Oh, Mummy, here's Fred and Bertie.
00:17:54Oh, Mummy, here's Fred and...
00:17:56Oh, hello, Mrs. Gilby.
00:17:57Hello, dear.
00:17:58Fred, you're very welcome.
00:17:59But I don't know what my husband would say.
00:18:02Come and sit down.
00:18:03Mummy, look.
00:18:04Oh, Cherry, I don't like that deep color on your nails.
00:18:07It doesn't suit you.
00:18:08My dear, you look quite excited.
00:18:11Has Fred been behaving himself?
00:18:12Of course.
00:18:13Don't take it for granted.
00:18:15He's much too like his father sometimes.
00:18:17Darling, have you had any tea?
00:18:19No.
00:18:20Tell Annie, would you, dear?
00:18:21Okay, okay.
00:18:22Goodbye, Mrs. Gilby.
00:18:23Goodbye, dear.
00:18:24Goodbye, Mummy.
00:18:26Goodbye, dear.
00:18:35Goodbye.
00:18:45She's coming back, isn't she?
00:18:46Of course.
00:18:47I don't know what she's saying goodbye for.
00:18:49We've been shopping, Fred.
00:18:52Isn't it saucy?
00:18:53Hang it, Mother.
00:18:54You can't wear that.
00:18:55Can't I?
00:18:57You try and stop me.
00:18:59There.
00:19:00What do you think of it?
00:19:01Oh, Lydia, it's smart.
00:19:02But it's awfully cheeky.
00:19:04It doesn't make me look a fast woman.
00:19:06I think that's what I was meaning.
00:19:07Oh, but how exciting.
00:19:09You know, I remember years ago a certain young man
00:19:11got quite the wrong impression about me
00:19:14simply because of the hat I was wearing.
00:19:16He was most insistent about it, too.
00:19:18It was terribly embarrassing.
00:19:20What did Father say?
00:19:21Don't be silly, dear.
00:19:22It was your father.
00:19:24He was a devil for the ladies.
00:19:26He still would be if I didn't watch him.
00:19:28I must tell you, my dear,
00:19:29I once found the name Queenie in his diary.
00:19:31I was furious.
00:19:34And do you know what it turned out to be?
00:19:36The name of one of his greyhounds.
00:19:41You see, all his dogs had girls' names.
00:19:43I don't know why.
00:19:45Oh, just coincidence, Mother.
00:19:48Yes, I suppose so.
00:19:50Coinciding with what?
00:19:52I wouldn't know that.
00:19:58Oh, that catchy number.
00:19:59It does something to me.
00:20:01You know, I'm sure I could make a great stage comeback
00:20:03if only my husband would let me put up the money.
00:20:06Woo-hoo!
00:20:08It must be you who makes me sing,
00:20:10who makes November seem like spring,
00:20:14who's giving me ideas I haven't had in years.
00:20:17It must be you.
00:20:20I want romance to sing about,
00:20:22and it must be you to blame.
00:20:26I want to dance and fling about.
00:20:37Lydia, dear.
00:20:40Oh, dear.
00:20:45Good morning, sir. Was there something?
00:20:50Wait here a minute.
00:20:57In everything you say, you make me feel that way.
00:21:00It must be you.
00:21:02I couldn't remotely, one mile only do,
00:21:05with anyone else.
00:21:07I couldn't remotely, one mile only do,
00:21:09with anyone else but you.
00:21:20What is the meaning of this?
00:21:22Caroline, what are these people doing here?
00:21:25Can you be so rude?
00:21:26I asked Mrs. Gilbert to take a cup of tea with me.
00:21:28Indeed, and does taking a cup of tea with you
00:21:30necessitate your indulging in an exotic dance
00:21:33to inviting music?
00:21:35Back and against my wishes, you deliberately invite
00:21:38this disrupting influence into my own home.
00:21:40Really, Mr. Proudford, I think you're behaving disgracefully.
00:21:43I am not interested in your opinions, madam.
00:21:46Fred, did you hear what he called me?
00:21:48But I am concerned with the shameful activities
00:21:51of your son.
00:21:55I'm afraid for heaven's sake, think what you're saying.
00:21:57Silence!
00:21:59He's nothing but a young Casanova, Caroline.
00:22:01I have concrete evidence of it in black and white.
00:22:04I think you're nuts.
00:22:05Oh, do you? We'll see.
00:22:09Mr. Peebs?
00:22:11Is that you, Alfred?
00:22:13I'm in the Proudford's flat.
00:22:14Will you come at once, please?
00:22:16What for?
00:22:17I've never been so insulted in all my life.
00:22:19Oh.
00:22:22There, I've wakened him from his afternoon sleep.
00:22:26Now, heaven help you.
00:22:28Can't they... Oh, who is this?
00:22:30This, Caroline, is Mr. Peebs, my divorce case inquiry agent
00:22:33and social investigator.
00:22:34Pleased to meet you, ma'am.
00:22:36Humphrey, you're making an awful fool of yourself.
00:22:38The man hasn't had time to investigate anybody.
00:22:40Oh, yes, he has. When you've been in the business as long as I have,
00:22:43you develop a knack.
00:22:44Proceed, Peebs.
00:22:45Investigation as to character and social behavior, case 37.
00:22:49On the 4th of July, 1939, the party concerned
00:22:52booked a double room at the Viewpoint Hotel, Little Hampton.
00:22:55And on the following morning, he was observed coming down the stairs
00:22:57making jocular laughing conversation with a young lady.
00:23:00I've got about 40 weeks without being bothered
00:23:02and nagging about the people.
00:23:04What's going on?
00:23:06You know, I'm beginning to dislike you.
00:23:08What have you been up to now?
00:23:09He's been snooping, Alfred.
00:23:11Snooping?
00:23:13What do you mean, peeping through keyholes?
00:23:14Well, that's what it amounts to.
00:23:17What did you say?
00:23:19I took no active part in the investigation.
00:23:21I left that to my factotum.
00:23:23Factotum?
00:23:29Is this yours?
00:23:31He's got a report there. It goes way back.
00:23:34It says Fred was in a hotel with a woman in 1939.
00:23:38Well, that's nonsense to start with.
00:23:39Hanging it, he's only 23 now.
00:23:41That'll make him 12 at the time.
00:23:43You have a more recent date, Peebs?
00:23:45I have a very sultry hotel occasion only 10 days ago, sir.
00:23:4810 days ago? I was in Belfast.
00:23:50Well, according to my schedule, you was in Eastbourne.
00:23:52Are you sure you haven't made a mistake?
00:23:55I've never made one yet, ma'am.
00:23:56Here it is, top of the page.
00:23:58Private case number 37, investigation
00:24:00into the life of Alfred Gilby.
00:24:01Alfred Gilby?
00:24:03You've got it all wrong.
00:24:05My name's Alfred Gilby.
00:24:24I'll just go and see if the car's there, mother.
00:24:27I'll show him.
00:24:29Oh, Lydia, you're being awfully bitter.
00:24:31I know how you feel, but it isn't the children's fault.
00:24:33Ask your husband. If he is guilty,
00:24:35surely it's better you should know what sort of a man he is.
00:24:37I've always known what sort of a man he is,
00:24:39but I just don't like being made to believe it.
00:24:41I wish you could have a word with my husband before you leave.
00:24:43He's very awfully upset about it.
00:24:44And so he should be.
00:24:46I'd like an investigation into his past.
00:24:48In my opinion, he's much too good to be true.
00:24:50I'm wasting my time with such people.
00:24:54If you take my advice,
00:24:56you're not in power in your husband's doings.
00:24:58You may rake up more than you expect.
00:25:02I suppose it takes almost three hours
00:25:04to get down there, doesn't it?
00:25:09Going away?
00:25:10No, mother is.
00:25:11Oh.
00:25:12I suppose you haven't thought of apologising
00:25:14for being so rude to my father yesterday.
00:25:16No, I haven't.
00:25:18Very well, if you still feel like that.
00:25:21You know, you're wasting a lot of time.
00:25:23Life's too short for all these lovers finessing.
00:25:26Don't be a twerp.
00:25:35Terry, I...
00:25:37Please forgive me, darling.
00:25:39I shouldn't have called your father a nosy fart.
00:25:41Oh, that's all right.
00:25:42As long as you didn't mean it.
00:25:44Well, of course not.
00:25:45I just impulsively said what I was thinking.
00:25:46Oh, did you?
00:25:47Oh, dear.
00:25:48I'm sorry.
00:25:50Where's your mother going?
00:25:51Only to Eastbourne.
00:25:52Only to Eastbourne?
00:25:53Just a routine check-up on father.
00:25:55Oh, dear.
00:25:56Is that going to mean more trouble?
00:25:57It'll soon blow over.
00:25:58Oh, don't take things so seriously, darling.
00:26:00You know, when we're married...
00:26:02We'll have to wait a year and a half for it.
00:26:03Daddy said this morning he'll never give his permission.
00:26:05Not as long as there's a breath in his body.
00:26:07That's all right, sweet.
00:26:08We'll just have to find a way
00:26:10of remoting the breath from his body.
00:26:11Oh, that's a beastly thing to say.
00:26:15For the love of...
00:26:19Listen, Lydia.
00:26:20If you don't lay off, sir, help me.
00:26:22I'll do something desperate.
00:26:23You've been nattering ever since yesterday
00:26:24and I can't stand any more of it.
00:26:26Nor can I.
00:26:27I've put up with you as long as I intend to.
00:26:28This time I'm getting a divorce.
00:26:30Good.
00:26:31What?
00:26:32Then I suppose you'll settle down with your Gloria.
00:26:34Oh, for the 149th time I tell you,
00:26:37Gloria's a greyhound.
00:26:39It's a miserable coincidence
00:26:40I happened to have her with me
00:26:41when I stayed at that hotel at Eastbourne.
00:26:43Mr. Peep said you went swimming with her.
00:26:45That's an exaggeration.
00:26:46I simply held her by the lead while she paddled.
00:26:48You were seen kissing her in the lounge.
00:26:50Well, I'm very fond of her.
00:26:52That's why I had her basket moved to the adjoining bedroom.
00:26:55During the night you were seen
00:26:56to go in and out of that bedroom
00:26:57on three different occasions.
00:26:59Well, I was worried about her.
00:27:01You see, she's not house trained.
00:27:03Oh, all right, don't shout.
00:27:05You're going to miss your train mother.
00:27:07A greyhound in a bedroom, ha!
00:27:10Listen, Gloria cost me 800 quid.
00:27:12What am I going to do, let her sleep on the beach?
00:27:15She's probably slept there before.
00:27:19That's if she sleeps at all at night.
00:27:21Ha!
00:27:26Think she's gone for good?
00:27:29No.
00:27:30No? What's she making for?
00:27:32Eastbourne.
00:27:33Really?
00:27:34Well, not that I mind, Marky,
00:27:36only I just don't think Eastbourne will agree with her.
00:27:38Oh, you'll make me tired.
00:27:40Same with you.
00:27:41I think you've reached an all-time low.
00:27:43Now listen, don't you start anything.
00:27:46Well, isn't it about time you pulled yourself together?
00:27:48Are you talking to me?
00:27:50Yes, I am.
00:27:52Oh, fooling around with a woman at your time of life,
00:27:54you ought to be ashamed of yourself.
00:27:56Get out.
00:27:57Dear, get out.
00:27:59OK, Daddy.
00:28:02Sugar Daddy.
00:28:11There's a Mr. Peeps to see you, sir.
00:28:14Peeps?
00:28:15Oh, yes.
00:28:16Show him in.
00:28:17OK, sir.
00:28:21The person, sir.
00:28:22Good morning, sir.
00:28:28Good morning, sir.
00:28:29You miserable sneaky puss.
00:28:32You broke up my home and deliberately ruptured my family.
00:28:34Well, I didn't act with malice aforethought.
00:28:36That makes it worse.
00:28:37I'm going to take action against you.
00:28:39Would you rather have 200 quid?
00:28:41Meaning what, sir?
00:28:42Meaning I want you to do a little investigating for me.
00:28:45Well, I'll be very glad to, sir.
00:28:46Good, sit down.
00:28:47I want you to dig, dive and ferret into the life of Humphrey Proudfoot.
00:28:51If you rake up something nasty, the money's yours.
00:28:53I'll let you off the libel.
00:28:54Otherwise, I'll get you 15 years imprisonment.
00:28:57And let the boys work over you as well.
00:28:59Have a drink.
00:29:00Well, Mr. Gilby, sir, I'd do anything in the world to make you happy,
00:29:02but since Mr. Proudfoot got married,
00:29:04there's been nothing you could even put a finger on.
00:29:07Ah, there must be something somewhere.
00:29:08There is in everybody's life.
00:29:09What about before he was married?
00:29:11Ah, now you're talking.
00:29:12Go on, what did he do?
00:29:13Well, he had a very serious love affair
00:29:17with a young lady in the post office at Opsley.
00:29:19Opsley, where is that?
00:29:20It's just outside Locks Bottom.
00:29:21Locks what?
00:29:22Bottom.
00:29:24Oh, it's near Orpington, Kent.
00:29:25Or was it Kensington, North?
00:29:26No, I'm a liar.
00:29:27Orpington, Kent.
00:29:28They used to go on cycling trips together.
00:29:44Audrey Cuttle, the lady's name was.
00:29:46Mr. Proudfoot was madly in love with her.
00:29:56Yes, it was highly romantical, but it had the usual ending,
00:29:58and they parted most unhappily.
00:30:00And now, always on the same anniversary,
00:30:03Mr. Proudfoot sends a bunch of rosemary and old man's beard
00:30:05to the harvest festival at Locks Bottom.
00:30:07Yes, rosemary for remembrance and old man's beard for remorse.
00:30:11I know it's still on his conscience.
00:30:13Are you sure this was before his marriage?
00:30:15Eighteen months before, sir.
00:30:16Ah, what a pity, what a pity.
00:30:17You can say that again.
00:30:19What a pity.
00:30:20Mark you, the young lady did have a beautiful bouncing boy
00:30:22very shortly afterwards.
00:30:23Very like Mr. Proudfoot in all he was, too.
00:30:25You mean?
00:30:27I'm afraid so, sir.
00:30:28Is the boy still alive?
00:30:29Well, as far as I know, sir, yes.
00:30:30And this Audrey, what's her name?
00:30:31Do you know where to find her?
00:30:33I think so, sir.
00:30:34My last contact had her registered as promoter
00:30:36to a post office in Upper Norwood.
00:30:37Look, go and get her at once.
00:30:38At once, sir?
00:30:40At once.
00:30:41Very good, sir.
00:30:42A hundred quid, even if it means opening up
00:30:44the last sack of notes.
00:30:45Very good, sir.
00:30:50Hello, Fred.
00:30:52Put down the kettles.
00:30:53Yes.
00:30:54Oh, you're going to be very proud of your old daddy.
00:30:56Why?
00:30:57I'm not only going to make Proudfoot give his consent,
00:31:00he's going to beg you to marry Cherry.
00:31:01And how are you going to manage that?
00:31:02Ha, ha, ha, ha, ha.
00:31:03You wait and see.
00:31:04Oh, what a beautiful day.
00:31:07Yes, it is.
00:31:08Do you know where I'd like to be right now?
00:31:10Nowhere.
00:31:11Oh, yes.
00:31:24Toll number, please.
00:31:25The toll?
00:31:27That was quick.
00:31:28No, no, I'm not complaining.
00:31:30Mrs. Nelson, double six, double six.
00:31:32Yes.
00:31:33I want Eastbourne, double four, O, double four.
00:31:37Oh, dear, Kimberly, good morning.
00:31:39Who?
00:31:40Mr. Gilbert.
00:31:41Oh, hello, Alfred.
00:31:43Listen, honey.
00:31:45I want you to do something for me.
00:31:47If my wife turns up today,
00:31:49tell her Gloria was a greyhound.
00:31:52Greyhound?
00:31:53Oh, really, Alfred.
00:31:56But what about the registration book?
00:31:58Oh, dear, oh, dear.
00:31:59Look, I'll tell you what.
00:32:00Just put bitch in brackets.
00:32:02Mm-hmm.
00:32:04What?
00:32:06Eh?
00:32:07All right.
00:32:08Goodbye, my sweet.
00:32:09Bye-bye.
00:32:22Alfred.
00:32:24Good afternoon.
00:32:25Gloria, what are you doing here?
00:32:27Alfred, something dreadful has happened.
00:32:29Somebody has been checking up on us.
00:32:31All right, keep calm, keep calm.
00:32:33I don't know who the idiot was,
00:32:36but he called at my flat, cross-examined my maid,
00:32:38and she told him I had been to Eastbourne.
00:32:40Well, no law against that,
00:32:42provided your husband doesn't know.
00:32:44But he does.
00:32:45My maid got scared and told him.
00:32:47Didn't you say that our friendship was platonic?
00:32:50I tried to, but I couldn't remember that word.
00:32:52Hang it.
00:32:53I wrote it down for you.
00:32:54Oh, Alfred, I'm so scared he's coming to see you.
00:32:56When?
00:32:58Right now.
00:32:59He was phoning for a taxi when I left.
00:33:04Up the top floor, quick.
00:33:05Oh, I do hate all this hiding business.
00:33:10What was that word again?
00:33:11Platonic.
00:33:12What does it mean?
00:33:13Oh, anemic.
00:33:23Alfred.
00:33:24Oh, hello, lady.
00:33:26I hoped... I thought you were in Eastbourne.
00:33:28I wanted to go.
00:33:29But I persuaded her not to.
00:33:30Who told you to butt in?
00:33:31I will ignore your insistence.
00:33:33I will ignore your insults, Gilby,
00:33:34and proceed to the point.
00:33:35On her way to the station,
00:33:36your wife called at my office
00:33:37and requested the name of that hotel at Eastbourne.
00:33:40She was in a state of great distress.
00:33:41That moved me deeply.
00:33:43I calmed her to the best of my ability
00:33:44and finally persuaded her
00:33:46to overlook the whole of that disgraceful incident
00:33:47on one condition.
00:33:49Go on.
00:33:50What's the phony little clause
00:33:51that can be interpreted in five different ways?
00:33:53Mrs. Gilby, now my client insists
00:33:55that if the Eastbourne incident is overlooked,
00:33:57you will solemnly undertake, irrevocably,
00:33:59to turn your back on wine, women, and song.
00:34:02I don't know what you're talking about.
00:34:03I don't like wine. I can't sing.
00:34:04And as for women...
00:34:09Excuse me, Mr. Gilby.
00:34:11I found this woman wandering about on the top floor.
00:34:13She says she's a very personal friend of yours.
00:34:14Is she?
00:34:16I've never seen her before in my life.
00:34:18Okay, Romeo, that settles it.
00:34:20But now I'm going to tell everything to my husband.
00:34:32You unspeakable hound!
00:34:35For the sake of decency, somebody should shoot you!
00:34:42Could you keep one down?
00:34:44Certainly not.
00:34:45Try and stop me.
00:34:47Mrs. Gilby!
00:34:52Give me a large brandy, honey.
00:34:53Sorry, sir. We're not open yet.
00:34:55Another five minutes.
00:34:57I presume, Gilby, it is quite unnecessary for me to advise you
00:35:00that I will allow no further association
00:35:01between your son and my daughter.
00:35:03Oh, yes, you will.
00:35:05I know something about you.
00:35:06What do you mean?
00:35:07Ever heard of a village called Opsley?
00:35:09No, never.
00:35:10It's just outside Locks Bottom, isn't it?
00:35:13I don't know.
00:35:14Oh, yes, you do.
00:35:16There was a post up at Opsley, wasn't there?
00:35:18Where you used to go and fill your fountain pen.
00:35:21As you leered at the innocent girl behind the counter,
00:35:24Oh, monstrous!
00:35:25her name was Audrey Cutler.
00:35:28Oh!
00:35:29And a few months after you cycled away,
00:35:31smilingly twirling your moustache,
00:35:34a little baby boy arrived who looked disgusting like you.
00:35:37No, no!
00:35:39Yes, oh, yes.
00:35:40That's why you're not stopped this wedding, Big Toe.
00:35:43You see, unless you give your consent,
00:35:45I'll tell all your colleagues in the temple
00:35:47that you're an illegitimate father.
00:35:49Your brandy, sir.
00:35:50Hmm?
00:35:51Oh.
00:35:52Hand it up.
00:36:22Oh.
00:36:42Humphrey.
00:36:45Oh.
00:36:46Hello, dear.
00:36:47What are you doing here?
00:36:48I brought you at the office.
00:36:50Oh.
00:36:51Did you, dear?
00:36:52What is it with you?
00:36:53You're as white as a sheet.
00:36:54Oh, just business worries, dear.
00:36:56That's all.
00:36:57Humphrey, you're ill.
00:36:58Oh, no, dear.
00:36:59No, I'm all right.
00:37:00Quite, quite all right.
00:37:02Well, I'll just get along to the office.
00:37:23Well, Mr. Gilby won't be a moment, sir.
00:37:25Oh, thank you.
00:37:26Not at all, sir.
00:37:28Mrs. Gilby isn't anywhere about, is she?
00:37:31No, sir.
00:37:32We don't know where Mrs. Gilby is.
00:37:34You, uh, you don't think anything's happened, do you?
00:37:37Well, I asked Mr. Gilby that.
00:37:39He said it was no good counting our chickens
00:37:41before they were hatched.
00:37:43Well, well, well.
00:37:44Little old Big Toe.
00:37:45Shh.
00:37:46You're looking very happy.
00:37:48Gilby.
00:37:49Yes?
00:37:50Shh.
00:37:51You're looking very happy.
00:37:52Gilby, I've got to speak to you.
00:37:53Where is Audrey Cuttle?
00:37:55My last report located her at Norwood.
00:37:57She wants to see you.
00:37:58Oh, what on earth am I going to do?
00:38:00Don't keep talking about doing things.
00:38:01You've done enough already.
00:38:03If my wife finds out, I'm finished.
00:38:05Why, haven't you ever told her about your adolescent wild oats?
00:38:07No, I have not.
00:38:08And I'd rather you didn't express that term in the plural.
00:38:11Audrey was the only oat.
00:38:14A very successful harvest.
00:38:16Oh, why didn't she get in touch with me?
00:38:19She might have known that I wouldn't shirk my duty.
00:38:21How, how did you get to hear of it?
00:38:23I have my little contacts.
00:38:25Oh, that she should turn up after all this time.
00:38:28Oh, how is it going to end, Gilby?
00:38:30How is it going to end?
00:38:31Well, you haven't told me how it started yet.
00:38:33Come on, come on.
00:38:35Tell Daddy.
00:38:39It must have been 25 years ago.
00:38:42I believe it was on a Thursday.
00:38:44What are you referring to?
00:38:45The day I first met Miss Cuttle.
00:38:47Oh, we don't want your first met her.
00:38:50Let's start from where you got to know her better.
00:38:52She was such a sweet little load of mischief.
00:38:54I used to call her Gypsy.
00:38:57What?
00:38:58She so reveled in trees and woods and things.
00:39:00She knew all the names of the birds and the flowers.
00:39:03She could even light a fire without matches.
00:39:06So it appears.
00:39:08She was born for the fields and the open air.
00:39:11Oh, they shouldn't have confined her in a post office.
00:39:18I bet it passed away a dull hour or so.
00:39:22What did she call you?
00:39:24I'd rather not say.
00:39:25Come on, come on.
00:39:28No.
00:39:29Come on.
00:39:31What did she call you?
00:39:33Pixie.
00:39:34You sloppy ape.
00:39:37Oh, why did they have that early closing day?
00:39:40Why, what happened?
00:39:41Did you take her for a walk?
00:39:42Yes.
00:39:43Did you keep on walking?
00:39:45No, no, we stopped to gather some primroses.
00:39:47I remember she picked almost twice as many as I did.
00:39:50Yes, but she had her mind on what she was doing.
00:39:52Oh, it was such a lovely day.
00:39:54Oh, hang it, don't blame the weather for it.
00:39:56It did contribute.
00:39:59When the sun is high and the blood is hot
00:40:01and the bees dance a happy fandango,
00:40:03nature herself seems to smile on impulse
00:40:05and I was such a carefree young rip in those days.
00:40:07Well, you don't sound too old-fashioned now.
00:40:10Does your wife know that bit about the bees' fandango?
00:40:12No, no, no.
00:40:13I kept all that side of me hidden from her.
00:40:15Oh, Gilby, you don't know how I've suffered.
00:40:17For 25 years I've lived with remorse.
00:40:20Oh, what a price to pay for the frailty of one fleeting moment.
00:40:23Oh, don't talk like that. You're not a butterfly.
00:40:25Do you think I should get in touch with her?
00:40:27Or just let the thing lie fallow?
00:40:28I'm afraid it's out of your control.
00:40:30She's getting in touch with you.
00:40:31What?
00:40:32Yes, she's calling here this afternoon.
00:40:33Oh!
00:40:34Gypsy's going to tell you fortune.
00:40:37Oh, you crafty, cunning cad.
00:40:39You arranged all this?
00:40:40Every single move of it.
00:40:42Then let me tell you something.
00:40:43I won't give my consent.
00:40:44I'll cut you tooth and nail.
00:40:46Pressure I may give way to, but blackmail, never.
00:40:48It'll get in the papers, you know.
00:40:50Imagine the headlines.
00:40:51Gypsy jilted or passion in the post.
00:40:53Oh!
00:40:56I'd better join the foreign legion.
00:40:59Alternatively, you can make two young people happy.
00:41:02Hang it, man, they only want to marry.
00:41:04You should be the first to smile at that word.
00:41:06Oh, very well.
00:41:08Do you give your consent?
00:41:09I've no alternatives.
00:41:10Splendid.
00:41:11On one condition.
00:41:12That you help me to eliminate Audrey.
00:41:13Oh, that's easy.
00:41:15I know how to deal with her.
00:41:16Proudfoot, don't dislike me
00:41:18because I'm in the greyhound business.
00:41:20I'm giving it up.
00:41:21Oh, thanks, Heaven.
00:41:23Are you really?
00:41:24I'm going to be a bookmaker.
00:41:30There's a Mr. Samson to see you, sir.
00:41:34Samson?
00:41:35Samson?
00:41:36Who's Samson?
00:41:38Glorious husband, sir.
00:41:39What?
00:41:40Tell him I'm out.
00:41:41He's a very insistent gentleman, sir.
00:41:43You can pretend to be privately, if you wish.
00:41:46No, no, no, no.
00:41:47Don't be rough, stuff.
00:41:48All right.
00:41:49I'll see him in a minute.
00:41:50Very good, sir.
00:41:59This needs diplomacy.
00:42:03Now, let's have a look at you.
00:42:05Yes, you're...
00:42:07I think you're better without these.
00:42:10Yes, that's better.
00:42:11But Samson won't believe I'm you.
00:42:13I've told you before.
00:42:15Here, here.
00:42:16What are you doing with my dispatch case?
00:42:17I just want to borrow it for a moment.
00:42:18Well, why have I got to pretend I'm you in bed?
00:42:20Don't you see, nobody hits a man when he's ill.
00:42:23Now, as soon as you've broken the first big wave,
00:42:24I'll come back and take over.
00:42:25Got it?
00:42:28But Sam, help me if you double-cross.
00:42:30It's Primrose Day for you.
00:42:32Mrs. Samson, sir.
00:42:37You are Mr. Gibley?
00:42:38Yes, yes, I suppose so.
00:42:41Oh, won't you sit down?
00:42:45Now, sir.
00:42:46I'm a man of the world.
00:42:48And you have given me very good proof that you are, too.
00:42:53I take it you have fallen in love with me.
00:42:55Yes, I have.
00:42:56I'm a man of the world.
00:42:58And you have given me very good proof that you are, too.
00:43:00I take it you have fallen in love with my wife.
00:43:02Well, not as a very charming woman,
00:43:04but I'm not as young as I used to be.
00:43:07And she thinks of nothing but dancing, dancing.
00:43:10Sometimes I don't know if I'm jitterbugging or...
00:43:13some phytosis.
00:43:15Mr. Gibley, you love her.
00:43:18You can have her.
00:43:20It's only a matter of a quick divorce.
00:43:22Can't we come to some little...
00:43:24arrangement?
00:43:27Oh, by my dead body.
00:43:30Who are you?
00:43:32If you must know, I am Gregory Throssell,
00:43:34KC, MG, ERP, and PAYE.
00:43:37Legal advisor to Mr. Gibley,
00:43:39and a very great friend of all the divorce court judges.
00:43:42No, no, no, you can't do this.
00:43:44Mr. Gibley is apparently surprised at my willingness
00:43:46to undertake so trivial a case.
00:43:48I would like to inform him that I am luring myself
00:43:50for the sake of his wife.
00:43:53Quitem apartem from littlem gypsiorum.
00:43:55Satre necessare.
00:43:57Satre necessare?
00:43:59Oui, oui.
00:44:01John Henry Sampson, on behalf of my client,
00:44:04Alfred Cornelius Gibley,
00:44:06whom I shall henceforth refer to as Mr. X,
00:44:08I feel it my duty to inform you that I have overheard
00:44:10every word that has passed between you.
00:44:12But, hang it, I have the right to object
00:44:15to his friend who is my wife.
00:44:17Objection overruled.
00:44:19You have been condoning, conspiring, and contempting.
00:44:21Not only have you created a nuisance,
00:44:23you have blatantly attempted to hawk your conjugal rights.
00:44:25You have completely nullified your affidavits.
00:44:28And I intend to take action against you
00:44:30for an infringement of the laws governing innocent misconduct.
00:44:37If you have not, let yourself in for something.
00:44:39Please.
00:44:41Here are we.
00:44:43Horses for courses, runners and riders absent.
00:44:46Ah.
00:44:48Sheep stealing, writing on walls, ringing on doorbells,
00:44:50and running away.
00:44:52But I'm here.
00:44:54I'm here to demand a domestic copyright.
00:44:56Fifteen years.
00:44:59No, no, no.
00:45:01Quiet, you.
00:45:03Oh, don't feel very well.
00:45:05Don't sit down. You're going in a moment.
00:45:07But, uh, what...
00:45:10Mr. Trosser,
00:45:12if a thousand pounds would help...
00:45:14I didn't quite catch that.
00:45:16I mean, if two thousand pounds...
00:45:18Think we should try again?
00:45:21No, no, no. You've done enough already.
00:45:23If out of a misguided respect for your ancient rites
00:45:25I agree not to press this charge,
00:45:27do you solemnly undertake to leave Mr. Gilby ex post facto?
00:45:29Yes, yes, yes.
00:45:32And in all matters I'm pertaining to your wife,
00:45:34you will behave modo prescripto.
00:45:36Letter by six and eightpence.
00:45:42There'll be no change.
00:45:44Exit as you go.
00:45:46Thank you. May I go now?
00:45:48You may.
00:46:01Gilby, what have you done?
00:46:03Made eleven pounds dead free of tax.
00:46:05Oh, monstrous.
00:46:07I'll trouble you for my spectacles, please.
00:46:12What's going to happen if Samson makes enquiries?
00:46:14Trosser may get six years.
00:46:16All right. We want him out of the way anyway.
00:46:18Everything's working out splendidly.
00:46:20Thank you, sir.
00:46:23Gilby, Gilby, you've got to help me.
00:46:25If you swear on your oath you'll never revoke your consent to the marriage?
00:46:27I swear it.
00:46:29All right, I'll do what I can.
00:46:31Wait, wait, wait. Perhaps, perhaps I'd better see her alone first.
00:46:34She might forgive me if I wheedle her.
00:46:36Don't you start anything.
00:46:38If she starts to get difficult, you give me a shout.
00:46:40Please.
00:46:51I've called to see Mr. Gilby.
00:46:53Will you tell him I'm here, please?
00:46:55Surely, surely you're not Audrey Cuttle.
00:46:57I certainly am. Who are you?
00:46:59I'm Humphrey Proudfoot.
00:47:02Oh, well, ridiculous. You can't be.
00:47:04Well, I should know.
00:47:06Oh, you have changed.
00:47:08Well, so have you.
00:47:10Are you sure you're not your mother?
00:47:13Pixie, don't be unkind.
00:47:15Oh, but this just isn't true.
00:47:17I remember you as something quite different.
00:47:19Oh, yes, yes, of course.
00:47:21Aren't you going to ask me to sit down?
00:47:24Oh, yes, yes, I beg your pardon.
00:47:26I was thinking of something else.
00:47:28Oh, don't start that all over again, please.
00:47:30Have you still got your bicycle?
00:47:32No, no, no, I gave that away some time ago.
00:47:35The chain broke.
00:47:37Oh, how you used to love freewheeling down those hills.
00:47:39You did live dangerously, didn't you?
00:47:41Oh, that was just the bravado of youth.
00:47:43Ah, yes, when we were young.
00:47:46How the years slipped by after 40.
00:47:48Here, you haven't got much hair left, have you?
00:47:50Was that through worrying about me?
00:47:52Yes, yes, I did worry quite a bit.
00:47:54Oh, do you remember the little post office?
00:47:56Yes, I can see it now.
00:47:59No, you can't. They've pulled it down.
00:48:01Aren't you going to kiss me?
00:48:03Oh, steady, Audrey.
00:48:05I'm married now, you know.
00:48:07My wife would never forgive me.
00:48:10Well, what's it got to do with her?
00:48:12I begged you long before she did.
00:48:14Pixie, kiss Gypsy.
00:48:16I'm sorry, but do realise it's got to last you.
00:48:22You've lost your fire.
00:48:24You didn't used to be so stingy.
00:48:27Oh, do stop this hanky-panky, Audrey.
00:48:29We're grown-up people now.
00:48:31Yes, and somebody else is grown-up as well.
00:48:33Oh, what does one say, what does one say?
00:48:35Well, hang it. You might at least say thank you.
00:48:38Have you a certificate of his birth?
00:48:40Yes, I have.
00:48:42I thought you might want to see it.
00:48:44All right.
00:48:46Why did you call him Willie?
00:48:48Well, that's what I kept whispering to myself
00:48:51when you went away, Willie, come back.
00:48:53I jolly well think it's time you did something about it.
00:48:55Oh, I'm only too anxious to do all in my power.
00:48:57Well, how much are you willing to go to?
00:48:59You mean money?
00:49:02Of course I do.
00:49:04Oh, this is disgraceful.
00:49:06What about your behaviour?
00:49:08You can't play fast and loose with a girl
00:49:10and not expect to pay for it in some way.
00:49:12I'm sorry, but I have to go to the factory.
00:49:15I shall have to speak to Mrs. Proudfoot.
00:49:17No, no, a thousand times no.
00:49:19Where is she?
00:49:21Merciful magistrate, what are you up to now?
00:49:23Did somebody call me?
00:49:26Ah, the little man.
00:49:28Who are you?
00:49:30I'm Mrs. Proudfoot, too utterly charmed to meet you.
00:49:32Well, I find this rather embarrassing.
00:49:34Oh, nonsense, my dear, nonsense.
00:49:37As I told Humphrey when we went to his old school,
00:49:39I'm only too delighted to meet any of his old mistresses.
00:49:41You're a very big woman, aren't you?
00:49:44Oh, small outsize, dear.
00:49:46Ah, I believe I hear the beating.
00:49:55Oh, goody, goody, goody.
00:49:57Won't you sit down, dear?
00:49:59Humphrey?
00:50:01Do make yourself at home.
00:50:03Will that be all, sir?
00:50:06For Pete's sake.
00:50:08Charles, what are you staring at?
00:50:10Pardon, miss.
00:50:12Miss? Madam.
00:50:14That's better.
00:50:16I don't know what's the matter with Charlie.
00:50:19I do hope he hasn't been taking my Benzedrine.
00:50:29Well, now, who's going to be mother?
00:50:31Will you?
00:50:33After all, it's your turn.
00:50:35Oh, very well.
00:50:38Do let's get it over.
00:50:40Will you have a little tart?
00:50:42I use the word with the greatest respect.
00:50:44Pixie, does your wife know about us?
00:50:46Yes.
00:50:49No.
00:50:51That is, I'm not at all certain.
00:50:53Thank you, ducky.
00:50:55Foxy little fellow, isn't he?
00:50:57Of course, my dear. I've known about it for years.
00:51:00Well, what are you going to do about it?
00:51:02After all, I've got Willie to think of.
00:51:04Would you consider a divorce?
00:51:06No, no. Never.
00:51:08Oh, no, we couldn't do that.
00:51:10You see, I've already condoned Hump's little lapse at Locke's bot.
00:51:16You haven't given me any sugar, ducky.
00:51:22Pixie!
00:51:24What are you doing?
00:51:26You are a careless man.
00:51:28Steady, steady, steady.
00:51:30You seem to be enjoying this.
00:51:33Pixie.
00:51:35I've told you never to snap at me.
00:51:38Go and sit down.
00:51:41With Audrey.
00:51:43Oh!
00:51:45You're a very dominating woman, aren't you?
00:51:47I bet you wear the trousers.
00:51:49On and off, dear. Off and on.
00:51:52Mrs. Proudfoot, don't you think I'm entitled to a substantial sum of money?
00:51:55Well, how much do you suggest?
00:51:57Well, I'll settle the whole thing for 200 pounds.
00:52:01Are you willing to put that in writing, Audrey?
00:52:03Yes, certainly.
00:52:06Oh, splendid. I'll give you the money tomorrow morning.
00:52:08Oh, very well.
00:52:10But in the meantime, perhaps you'll let me have that birth certificate back.
00:52:12No, no, no. I'm holding on to that if you don't object.
00:52:14Well, I do object. I object most strongly.
00:52:16Where is it?
00:52:19Well, leave me alone, Audrey. I will not be molested like this.
00:52:21No, Pixie!
00:52:23I'm Pixie!
00:52:25I'm Pixie!
00:52:27I'm Pixie!
00:52:30I'm Pixie!
00:52:32I'm Pixie!
00:52:34I'm Pixie!
00:52:36I will not be molested!
00:52:39Pixie!
00:52:41Leave me alone!
00:52:43What are you doing?
00:52:45Oh, dear.
00:52:47I'm Fred.
00:52:56Who was that?
00:53:07Who was that?
00:53:31Where do you want to go?
00:53:33Anywhere, dear. I'll find you.
00:53:36I'll find you.
00:53:43Humphrey, listen.
00:53:45I'm your wife, but I still love you.
00:53:48Why are you struggling with that woman?
00:53:50I don't know.
00:53:52How long have you known her?
00:53:54Oh, for years. I mean, I've just met her.
00:53:56What is her name?
00:53:59I forget.
00:54:01Oh, you can't forget.
00:54:03I know.
00:54:05I'll find you back at the flat studying a law book
00:54:07and making notes about children who know legal parents.
00:54:10I was only interested.
00:54:12Why?
00:54:14I don't know.
00:54:16Oh, you must know.
00:54:18Why?
00:54:21Humphrey.
00:54:23What do you expect me to think?
00:54:25What happens?
00:54:27Off you go to the office for a second time,
00:54:29then I find you in the Gilby flat,
00:54:32rolling on the floor with...
00:54:35Humphrey.
00:54:37Humphrey.
00:54:39Who is that woman?
00:54:41Oh, no.
00:54:43Humphrey.
00:54:46Who is that woman?
00:54:48Oh.
00:55:04Oh.
00:55:18Wait a minute, wait a minute.
00:55:21David, time's a-morning.
00:55:23Wait a minute.
00:55:25I can't hear you.
00:55:27Charles, Charles, I must see Mr. Gilby.
00:55:30We'll offer only for you, sir, if it's really urgent.
00:55:32Thank you. You won't have to wait, Mrs. Gilby, will you?
00:55:36Oh, no, sir. Mrs. Gilby's sleeping in one of the spare rooms.
00:55:39What's all the trouble? What's going on? What is it?
00:55:41Oh, it's you, is it?
00:55:42Oh, Gilby, you've no idea what I've been through.
00:55:44My wife's been cross-examining me.
00:55:46Ever since she found you with little Audrey, eh?
00:55:48How on earth did you know?
00:55:49Ha, ha, ha. You make me laugh.
00:55:51You're only a beginner at the game. Come have a drink.
00:55:53Did you have trouble with your wife?
00:55:54Nothing the trouble I had with a man on a motorbike. Have a drink.
00:55:56Oh, no. Not for me. It's too late.
00:55:58I mean, it's too early.
00:55:59Well, make your mind up. What is the time?
00:56:01Twenty-five a.m., plus three minutes, precisely.
00:56:04Well, it's fine. The bar's open. Hooray!
00:56:06Here, have a drink.
00:56:07No, certainly not. Not for me.
00:56:08Come on, come on. It'll do you good.
00:56:10No, definitely no.
00:56:11Go on. It'll keep the cold out.
00:56:13No, emphatically I refuse.
00:56:15Just one with the swing doors.
00:56:17I don't mind if I do.
00:56:21Will you, uh, will you add some soda, please?
00:56:24Oh, yes.
00:56:25What's the time now?
00:56:26I couldn't care less.
00:56:32You've drowned it.
00:56:36I want to tell you something.
00:56:38What?
00:56:39I believe I like you.
00:56:40Thank you very much.
00:56:42Shall I tell you something, too?
00:56:43Yes, please.
00:56:44I like you.
00:56:48Dear old pals, jolly old pals,
00:56:53Playing together in all sort of weather.
00:57:13And don't forget, Frostle, the number of that birth certificate is LB476558.
00:57:18Have you got that?
00:57:19Yes, I've got it, Mr. Crawford.
00:57:21But it'll mean leaving the office empty for some considerable time.
00:57:26Well, what about Mrs. Gorman?
00:57:28Very well, sir. I'll beetle off to Somerset House at once.
00:57:32Off you go, then. And ring me as soon as you have any news.
00:57:41Oh, hello, Cherry.
00:57:43Daddy, are you all right?
00:57:45Oh, splendid, thank you, dear.
00:57:46What's Mummy doing?
00:57:47Leaving.
00:57:48What?
00:57:49She's packing her bags.
00:57:50She's going to stay with Auntie Jenny.
00:57:51Oh, impossible.
00:57:52Why, Jenny's husband is a missionary.
00:57:54He's going to Hollywood in October.
00:57:56Mummy says she might go with him.
00:57:57Oh, Daddy, please tell me what's been happening.
00:58:00You can't let her leave you like this.
00:58:02I can only ask you both to trust me.
00:58:09Hello, sweet.
00:58:11I've looked up a trade we can get...
00:58:12Shh, shh, shh.
00:58:14Shouldn't you be at the office?
00:58:15Eh?
00:58:17Great heavens, yes. It's nearly 11 o'clock.
00:58:20I'm Mrs. Gorman's dripping tap case at 10.30.
00:58:22Couldn't it drip until tomorrow?
00:58:24Yes, yes, I suppose so.
00:58:25It's been dripping for over two years.
00:58:27What have you got there?
00:58:28Form U-82794.
00:58:30I think you had better have your consent in writing before you change your mind.
00:58:33Oh, very well.
00:58:34It's no use, Fred. Both parents have to sign that form.
00:58:37Mother absolutely refuses until Daddy puts his cards on the table.
00:58:40Cherry, I thought I told you not to come to this flat.
00:58:44Mummy, are you going to sign your consent or not?
00:58:47Until I know whether your father's moral outlook has been influenced by Mr. Gilby, I am not.
00:58:52Then that gives us no alternative.
00:58:55None at all.
00:58:56Cherry, Cherry, don't appeal for legal permission.
00:58:59Don't do that, I beg you.
00:59:09This is all your fault, Humpty Proudfoot.
00:59:11If anything happens to Cherry, I shall never forgive you.
00:59:13I shall leave you.
00:59:17Oh, the agony of mind and soul.
00:59:19I'm nothing but a psychological Aunt Sally.
00:59:44Oh, big toe.
00:59:48What's the matter? What's the trouble?
00:59:49My wife's threatening to leave me. Cherry's kicked on with the traces.
00:59:52Audrey's calling here at any moment and I haven't got her 200 pounds.
00:59:55Well, go and get it.
00:59:57Oh, come on, come on.
01:00:00Don't stand there like a big baby. Go and get it.
01:00:05This'll shake the bank.
01:00:14Quack, quack.
01:00:2198, 100 and 99, 200.
01:00:24Good, right. Now we're ready for Audrey.
01:00:27Here, but Gilby, what's going to happen if your wife walks in?
01:00:30Ah, I'm happy to advise you she isn't here.
01:00:32Charles and I have searched the flat and she's missing.
01:00:35Well, aren't you going to look for her?
01:00:36Not likely.
01:00:37But she may have thrown herself into the Thames.
01:00:39Surely you ought to make inquiries.
01:00:40She's good at that.
01:00:41If she's thrown herself into the Thames, she's off the French coast by now.
01:00:43Have you got Willie's birth certificate?
01:00:45Yes, yes, yes. Here it is.
01:00:47Good.
01:00:49How do we know this isn't a phony?
01:00:50That's just the point. We don't.
01:00:52But just to make sure, I phoned young Trostle this morning,
01:00:54gave him the full particulars of the entry,
01:00:56and asked him to check it at Somerset House.
01:00:58Oh, this may be him now.
01:01:01Hello, hello. Yes, yes.
01:01:03Yes, Trostle. Mr. Proudfoot speaking.
01:01:11Oh, splendid fellow.
01:01:14It was, and it wasn't.
01:01:17Oh, three hearty cheers.
01:01:19It did, and it didn't.
01:01:21Oh, bravo.
01:01:23Yes, yes, do. No, no, don't.
01:01:26Oh, magnificent.
01:01:27Trostle on Trostle, heaven bless you, my boy.
01:01:29Goodbye.
01:01:30Well, I've heard some silly conversations.
01:01:32You'll be.
01:01:33The birth of Audrey Cuttle's child has not been registered at Somerset House.
01:01:36You mean she's a phony?
01:01:37Well, I'm not sure, but she may be.
01:01:39Oh, if only she is.
01:01:41We must investigate your Audrey.
01:01:43Can you remember anything distinctive about her?
01:01:45I mean, before she ran to seed?
01:01:47Yes.
01:01:48One evening in the village hall at Oxley, we attended a revel.
01:01:51Audrey was superb.
01:01:53She stood out from all the others like a ballet dancer.
01:01:56Suddenly, perhaps because she was in love with me,
01:01:58Audrey surrendered herself to the wildest abandon.
01:02:08It was then that I met Audrey Cuttle,
01:02:10and I knew she was the one for me.
01:02:12I knew she was the one for me.
01:02:14I knew she was the one for me.
01:02:16I knew she was the one for me.
01:02:18I knew she was the one for me.
01:02:20I knew she was the one for me.
01:02:22I knew she was the one for me.
01:02:24I knew she was the one for me.
01:02:26I knew she was the one for me.
01:02:28I knew she was the one for me.
01:02:30I knew she was the one for me.
01:02:32I knew she was the one for me.
01:02:34I knew she was the one for me.
01:02:37It was then that I noticed that she had not knees.
01:02:40That's no good.
01:02:42We can't go wandering about listening for things like that.
01:02:44Can't think of anything else.
01:02:46Only that she used to react rather strangely
01:02:48whenever I sang to her.
01:02:50Yes, well, that's just ordinary nausea.
01:02:52What did you sing?
01:02:54And when I tell them how beautiful you are.
01:02:56Oh, well, I couldn't stand that.
01:02:58No, there's nothing for it.
01:03:00I'll have to hold her in conversation while you investigate her knees.
01:03:02Absolutely out of the question.
01:03:04If you'll just sit beside her on the settee.
01:03:06I won't sit beside her anywhere.
01:03:12Well, aren't you going to introduce me?
01:03:14Oh, I beg your pardon, yes.
01:03:16This is Mr. Samson.
01:03:18Yes, that's right, Mr. Samson.
01:03:20He's my financial advisor.
01:03:22Yes, that's right, my financial advisor.
01:03:24Mr. Falford is registered at my bank.
01:03:26You see, he pays in and I pay out.
01:03:28Sometimes it's quite touch and go.
01:03:30Have you got the money?
01:03:32What are you keeping your hat on for?
01:03:34Ah, that's an old coot's custom.
01:03:36I believe I've seen your face before.
01:03:38Oh, don't say it like that.
01:03:40As if I was hanging on the wall somewhere.
01:03:42Let's sit down, shall we?
01:03:44Let's be nice and comfy and cosy.
01:03:46That's it.
01:03:48Are you all right, Miss Cuttle?
01:03:50Yes, I'm all right.
01:03:52It's a bit of a squash, isn't it?
01:03:54Yes, it is rather.
01:03:56Mr. Samson.
01:03:58I beg your pardon.
01:04:00Money is elusive, you know.
01:04:02My balks are full of nothing but post-war credits.
01:04:10Miss Cuttle, dear, are you all right?
01:04:12Yes, of course I am.
01:04:14You said something comical and made me laugh.
01:04:16Oh, yes, but it was. I thought you were going to take off.
01:04:18Do you know something?
01:04:20I believe you're a funny man.
01:04:22Ah, I find you amusing as well.
01:04:24To me, you're just a little Miss Worker's playtime.
01:04:30Stop it!
01:04:32Stop it!
01:04:34Now, will you stop this hanky-panky?
01:04:36Pitsy!
01:04:38Are you going to give me the rest of the cash?
01:04:40I'm not altogether satisfied, Miss Cuttle.
01:04:42If our son really does exist,
01:04:44why was his birth not registered at Somerset House?
01:04:46Did you look in the secret book?
01:04:48The what book?
01:04:50The secret book.
01:04:52The out-of-wedlock registrations are kept in a special department, you know.
01:04:54You have to get special permission to look up those records.
01:04:56Did you get special permission?
01:04:58Oh, no.
01:05:00Miss Cuttle, I'll give you a hundred pounds
01:05:02to let me look at your knees.
01:05:04What do you take me for?
01:05:06Well, fifty pounds for a peep at one.
01:05:08I'll slosh your ear hole in a minute.
01:05:10Go on, Gilbert, now's your chance.
01:05:12Send him under the row!
01:05:14Send him to the grave!
01:05:16Go on!
01:05:18Get him out!
01:05:20Get him out!
01:05:22Get him out!
01:05:24Get him out!
01:05:26Get him out!
01:05:28I don't care!
01:05:30I must be the worst or the best!
01:05:32Oh!
01:05:34And what is going to be the explanation this time?
01:05:36They were practicing the Charleston.
01:05:38I don't want any foolish remarks from you.
01:05:40If you'll excuse me,
01:05:42I'll go and adjust my dress.
01:05:46It's no thanks to you.
01:05:48I've still got one on.
01:05:51Humphrey,
01:05:53I'm going to fetch the police.
01:05:55Oh, Caroline.
01:05:57Oh, it's no use trying to hide it any longer.
01:05:59That woman you saw just now is a piece of my past.
01:06:01From long, long before I met you.
01:06:03A forgotten page in the book of my life
01:06:05on which I wrote farewell to happiness.
01:06:07Now tell her about the postscript.
01:06:11Yes, heaven and earth forgive me.
01:06:13She says I'm the father of her child.
01:06:15Oh!
01:06:17How old is the baby?
01:06:20Has she any proof that you're the father?
01:06:22Not unless she has not knees.
01:06:24Oh, I don't think you know what you're talking about.
01:06:26I shall speak to this woman myself.
01:06:28No, no, Caroline, don't annoy her.
01:06:31Oh, Gilby, this has dished the whole thing.
01:06:33Oh, leave him to it.
01:06:35Let's go down and have a drink.
01:06:37No, no, no, I'm going to stay here and see it through to the bitter end.
01:06:39All right, I'll go down by myself.
01:06:42We needn't make it a celebration.
01:06:44Just four or five quick ones and we'll go back and see how they're getting on.
01:06:46All right.
01:06:50Where the heck have you been?
01:06:52I've been shopping.
01:06:54This happens to be real mink.
01:06:56I'll teach you to play the fool with me, Alfred Gilby.
01:06:58I've spent 2,148 pounds.
01:07:00And what is more,
01:07:02I ran into Silas H. Broomfield.
01:07:04He's going to revive the maid of the mountains
01:07:06and star me.
01:07:08What else? One of the mountains?
01:07:10An actress for Cherry's mother-in-law?
01:07:12Not so long as I live.
01:07:14Oh, Lily, don't go back to the stage.
01:07:16For your son's sake, don't go back to the stage.
01:07:19Let's, uh, let's pack up and go away somewhere.
01:07:21You mean another honeymoon?
01:07:23All right, if it'll keep you awake from the grease paint.
01:07:25Oh, my sweet!
01:07:27How wonderful!
01:07:29I'll go and pack my things.
01:07:35I must have a nervous breakdown or something.
01:07:43Altey, Altey, what's happened?
01:07:45I'm not staying here to be cross-examined.
01:07:47I'll give it to the papers.
01:07:49No, no, no, Altey, please.
01:07:51If one whisper reaches the temple, I'm ruined.
01:07:53Then pay me to keep silent.
01:07:55Oh, excuse me.
01:07:57I went back to Somerset House
01:07:59and made a much more important discovery.
01:08:01Look, the Miss Audrey Cuttle,
01:08:03who used to live at Oxley,
01:08:05passed away 20 years ago.
01:08:07Oh, heaven be praised!
01:08:09I mean, poor soul, I'm sorry.
01:08:11Then this woman's an imposter.
01:08:13And there isn't any Willie.
01:08:15No.
01:08:17Oh, dear, I'd better tell the truth.
01:08:19You certainly had. Who are you?
01:08:21I'm Emily Peeps,
01:08:23the sister of your divorce case investigator.
01:08:25What good heavens!
01:08:27Yes, it was him that put me up to it.
01:08:29Well, he'd talked so much about Miss Audrey Cuttle
01:08:31that he couldn't resist the temptation.
01:08:33So he bound me up with all particulars
01:08:35and sent me along with that phony birth certificate.
01:08:39Oh, what a merciful release!
01:08:41Aren't you going to say him to the police?
01:08:43No, take her along to the office
01:08:45and check that story with her brother.
01:08:47I'll see them both later.
01:08:49Well, it looks like it's safe for us to go upstairs again, doesn't it?
01:08:51Yes, with shoulders square and chins high.
01:09:03I'm willing to forget all about it, Humphrey.
01:09:05After all, the real Audrey
01:09:07was many years ago
01:09:09and before we were married.
01:09:11I feel so worried about Cherry.
01:09:13She'll be all right, dear.
01:09:15Why, when I was a young girl...
01:09:17Oh, for Pete's sake, Lyd, don't go into that.
01:09:19Look, Kelly, darling, I'll lay you six to four
01:09:21if she's all right.
01:09:23Oh, sir, sir, something terrible's happened.
01:09:25This note's just been delivered.
01:09:27As it was urgent, I've read it, sir.
01:09:29Caroline, listen to this.
01:09:31We are catching the 2.30 train
01:09:33from Waterloo and hope you will forgive us.
01:09:35We are making for Salisbury
01:09:37because in the book you gave me for Christmas,
01:09:39Ancient Religions and Rites,
01:09:41it says that if a boy and a girl walk three times
01:09:43round Stonehenge at sunset
01:09:45in the eyes of the Druids, they're married.
01:09:49Druids, Druids, that's no sort of denomination.
01:09:51Quickly, a taxi for Waterloo.
01:09:55Hey, big two, where are you going? Come here.
01:10:01Why don't you leave the kids alone?
01:10:03Don't go and spoil things now.
01:10:05I'll stop that teasing wedding if it's the last thing I do.
01:10:07Stonehenge.
01:10:09No, you're not.
01:10:13I will not be frustrated by a man like you.
01:10:15Come on, big two, out of the way.
01:10:17I tell you I am.
01:10:19I tell you you're not.
01:10:21I tell you I am.
01:10:23I'm not going to let you go.
01:10:25I tell you I am.
01:10:27Don't you interfere.
01:10:29Get back in there.
01:10:33Get out of my way.
01:10:35Go away.
01:10:37I will not be frustrated.
01:10:41Get out of the way, you seductive man.
01:10:45Get out of the way.
01:10:47I don't care.
01:10:51Look at you.
01:10:53What have you done? You've broken it.
01:10:55Oh, thing upon thing.
01:10:57Hey, help.
01:10:59Help, assistance.
01:11:01Water.
01:11:03Keep pressing all the buttons.
01:11:05You've done us damage already.
01:11:07I see. What happens if we press this one?
01:11:09Oh, don't press that. We should drop a sheet of flame or something.
01:11:11Oh, well, I don't know.
01:11:13Oh, now, you dunny.
01:11:15You'll bring the fire brigade out.
01:11:17What? Oh, holy smoke.
01:11:25Half an hour, my sweet. We'll be in Salisbury.
01:11:29What's the matter?
01:11:31I want to go to Stonehenge.
01:11:33I would hate it to its wedding.
01:11:35Right then, we'll go back.
01:11:37Can't. Is it a non-stop?
01:11:39We can soon alter that.
01:11:57Oh, Caroline.
01:11:59Oh, calamity.
01:12:07Fred.
01:12:09Thanks for being a darling.
01:12:11I didn't really want to go to Stonehenge.
01:12:13I would hate it for its wedding.
01:12:15Any sort of wedding will do me.
01:12:23Sherry.
01:12:25Oh, my darling, you've come home.
01:12:27Humphrey, she's come home.
01:12:29Sherry.
01:12:31Sherry, before I give you the welcome I long to give you,
01:12:33tell me one thing.
01:12:35Yes, Daddy?
01:12:37Are you a druid?
01:12:39No, Daddy, not yet.
01:12:41Oh, praise be.
01:12:43Oh, my baby. Humphrey, for heaven's sake, sign that form.
01:12:45What form?
01:12:47Oh, but I haven't got a pen.
01:12:49Well, make a mark or anything. Only do something now.
01:12:51Will I? Oh, thank you. Thank you very much.
01:12:53Most considerate.
01:12:57What's the matter, darling?
01:12:59Is anything wrong?
01:13:01Not a thing.
01:13:03I just wanted to see you the way the people in church saw you.
01:13:05Oh, Fred, I'm so happy.
01:13:09Do you think the other people in Paris will know we're just married?
01:13:11Oh, how could they?
01:13:13Oh.
01:13:15Fred, the others.
01:13:17They're still on their way from church.
01:13:19You know, I was just wondering
01:13:21which of our fathers will dominate the other.
01:13:23And here's one coming through with a great run on the rails.
01:13:25It's Charcoal.
01:13:27Fifty yards to go, and he's level.
01:13:29Twenty-five yards, and Charcoal's got his head in front.
01:13:31Charcoal's winning it, and at the post, it's Charcoal the winner,
01:13:33the lad second, and Playboy third.
01:13:35That's done it. Charcoal the favorite.
01:13:37Why did he have to win?
01:13:39I told you we were taking too many charcoal bets.
01:13:41That puts an end to this firm.
01:13:43Who asked you? Shut up, all of you.
01:13:45How much have we lost?
01:13:47Forty-two thousand.
01:13:49Why must I have a bunch of nitwits around me?
01:13:51I can't leave anything to anybody.
01:13:53Why must I do everything myself?
01:13:55You got it, didn't you?
01:13:57Stop picking your teeth.
01:13:59It's an office, not a cafe.
01:14:13Charcoal won it.
01:14:15We've done a packet.
01:14:17Forty-two thousand quid.
01:14:19We're finished.
01:14:21Sorry not, Gilby.
01:14:23I laid all the charcoal bets off this morning.
01:14:25You did?
01:14:27That's a struggle genius.
01:14:29Nonsense. Ordinary common sense.
01:14:31Get on with the work, Gilby.
01:14:33Very good, sir.
01:14:51The End
01:15:21Thank you for watching!