After 25 years working at Belcher's Brewery, Alf Larkin is given a pub to manage. But the Earl Osbourne is in trouble, mostly because the Earl himself has a tradition of giving his own very quaffable beer away absolutely free once a quarter. The Larkins come up with various tricks to gain custom, not realising a proposed new road means the place could soon become a goldmine anyway.
Source: IMDB
Source: IMDB
Category
🎥
Short filmTranscript
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00:01:36Come on now, swing those arms!
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00:01:43Halt!
00:01:45Right turn!
00:01:49Right turn.
00:01:51You haven't got a Chief Scout's baton in your knapsack.
00:01:53All right now, let's have a look at you.
00:01:55Troop, stand at ease!
00:01:58Straighten up, Bates.
00:02:02All right now, listen to me, men.
00:02:04When I was appointed Assistant Scoutmaster...
00:02:06Ed! Dave!
00:02:08Yes, Mum?
00:02:09Where have you been? Your dinners are ruined!
00:02:11I'm sorry, Mum. I've just got to address the lads.
00:02:14Inside!
00:02:15But, Mum...
00:02:16Attention!
00:02:17Right turn!
00:02:18Quick march!
00:02:19Left, right, left, right, left, right, left, right, left, right, left, right, left, right, left!
00:02:23Right.
00:02:24Inside.
00:02:28Undermining my authority.
00:02:30I'll undermine the seat of your pants in a minute.
00:02:33Remember, your name's Larkins, not Montgomery.
00:02:35Get into the kitchen and wash your hands!
00:02:37He's gone power mad, he has.
00:02:42Off that table, Jeff.
00:02:44I want to lay Eddie's dinner.
00:02:46Just a minute, Ma. I'm in the middle of a floor.
00:02:48Well, surge up one end, then.
00:02:51It's nice having a writer for a son-in-law,
00:02:54but sometimes I wish you was an outdoor worker.
00:02:57So do I.
00:02:58Look, just because your wife's away, that don't make you no Bachelor of Arts.
00:03:01Don't remind me, Ma.
00:03:03Joycey, come home soon.
00:03:05You'll have to shout louder than that. She's in Canada.
00:03:07I am well aware of that.
00:03:08Well, you shouldn't have such far-flung relations.
00:03:10Well, I didn't fling them, did I?
00:03:12Oh, cheer up, love.
00:03:14The holiday will do her good.
00:03:16That's true.
00:03:19Here's your dinner.
00:03:21It's hot!
00:03:22Oh, don't miss it.
00:03:23Blimey, it is hot!
00:03:24Not there!
00:03:25In there.
00:03:29Go and wash the plate up after you.
00:03:31I wonder how long your father will be.
00:03:33Oh, today's a great day, isn't it?
00:03:35Yep, 25 years with the same firm.
00:03:37Say, that's quite an achievement.
00:03:39Yes, it is.
00:03:40I've never known a man with more heart and soul in his work.
00:03:4325 years ago,
00:03:45I began as a band boy at Belchers.
00:03:49And today,
00:03:51I am proud to hold
00:03:53the position of departmental manager.
00:03:56Ho, ho, ho!
00:03:59Deidre, do you mind?
00:04:01Departmental manager.
00:04:03Get in.
00:04:04But I am.
00:04:05Oh, what a department.
00:04:06Me and Mavis sticking on the label.
00:04:08What loyalty.
00:04:10What esprit de corps.
00:04:14Now, listen.
00:04:16The label in department is a vital cog
00:04:18in the great Belchers machine,
00:04:20and don't you forget it.
00:04:21We may not be so big as the brewer in department
00:04:24or the stopper in department,
00:04:26but we are just as important to the finished product.
00:04:29Not like some I could mention.
00:04:31Bleurgh!
00:04:32Bleurgh!
00:04:33You feather-bedded lot.
00:04:36Yes.
00:04:37Vital!
00:04:38Vital!
00:04:39Vital!
00:04:40Vital!
00:04:41Vital!
00:04:42Vital!
00:04:43That's what we are.
00:04:44How would it be
00:04:45if bottles went out without labels, eh?
00:04:49Oh, stone-closed Deidre,
00:04:51what do you call that?
00:04:52Oh, give us it then.
00:04:53I'll redo it.
00:04:54No, no, no.
00:04:55That's a reject now.
00:05:00Well,
00:05:01here's to the token
00:05:03of dearesty.
00:05:05What do you suppose
00:05:06they'll give you, Mr. Larkins?
00:05:08I shall be offered
00:05:10a public house.
00:05:11A pub?
00:05:12What for?
00:05:13To keep?
00:05:14No, Mavis,
00:05:16to manage.
00:05:17Now, mate,
00:05:19we have here at Gulchers
00:05:20a tradition.
00:05:21Any of their houses
00:05:22that becomes free
00:05:23is offered to a member of the staff
00:05:25at managerial level,
00:05:26of course.
00:05:27Well?
00:05:28Well,
00:05:29I'm a manager, aren't I?
00:05:31And I've got the seniority,
00:05:32haven't I?
00:05:33And one of their pubs
00:05:34is becoming vacant, isn't it?
00:05:35Well, I mean,
00:05:36you can figure it out for yourself.
00:05:37Does that mean you believe in us?
00:05:38Of course.
00:05:40Labelling manager
00:05:41to pub manager.
00:05:43That's promotion, isn't it?
00:05:49Labelling here, manager speaking.
00:05:53Yes, Mr. John.
00:05:54Er,
00:05:55the ballroom.
00:05:56Yes, I'll come along
00:05:57right away, sir.
00:06:02Well, girls,
00:06:05this is it.
00:06:06The call has come
00:06:07from the ballroom.
00:06:08From the governor?
00:06:10From the governor
00:06:11and his two uncles.
00:06:12Twenty-five years.
00:06:14Well,
00:06:15it's not exactly a day, is it?
00:06:17Hear, hear.
00:06:18Uncle, please.
00:06:19Sir,
00:06:20in recognition
00:06:21of your long
00:06:22and faithful service,
00:06:23we should like to show
00:06:25our appreciation
00:06:26by offering you some,
00:06:27er,
00:06:28well, some, er...
00:06:29A token
00:06:30of our esteem.
00:06:32Yes, thank you.
00:06:33Thank you very much,
00:06:34all of you.
00:06:35On behalf of Gulchers Brewery,
00:06:37my uncles and I
00:06:38take great pleasure
00:06:39in presenting to you
00:06:41this inscribed fountain pen.
00:06:43Mr. John,
00:06:44Mr. Basil,
00:06:45Mr. Peter.
00:06:49Pen?
00:06:51A pen?
00:06:52What about the pub, then?
00:06:54Pub?
00:06:55The management.
00:06:56The old Belcher tradition.
00:06:58And don't tell me
00:06:59there's no pub going
00:07:00because I know there is.
00:07:01Now, really, Larkins,
00:07:02it's a very good pen.
00:07:04Yes,
00:07:05I'll use it.
00:07:06Yes, I'll use it
00:07:07to sign my resignation, mate.
00:07:10Mr. Larkins, come here.
00:07:12I'm sorry about the pub.
00:07:14Let me try to explain.
00:07:16You wait until I've told
00:07:17the union about this.
00:07:18You'll have a nationwide
00:07:19drought on your hands, mate.
00:07:20Mr. Larkins,
00:07:21will you please listen to me?
00:07:23There is a house available,
00:07:24it's true.
00:07:25And in the normal course
00:07:26of events,
00:07:27you should have been offered
00:07:28the managership.
00:07:29Yes.
00:07:30But it's a difficult property.
00:07:31We need a man
00:07:32with special qualifications.
00:07:33It's called
00:07:34the Earl of Osborne.
00:07:36Well, that's all right.
00:07:37I'm no snob.
00:07:39It's been steadily on the decline
00:07:40for some time now.
00:07:41Whether we give up
00:07:42the place altogether
00:07:43is entirely dependent
00:07:44on the next manager
00:07:45being a success.
00:07:46That's why we must be sure
00:07:47of getting the right man
00:07:48for the job.
00:07:49Isn't that so, Uncle?
00:07:50Yes.
00:07:51Someone with foresight.
00:07:52Yes.
00:07:53Someone with drive.
00:07:54Yes.
00:07:55Someone who will put
00:07:56the Earl of Osborne
00:07:57right back on the map.
00:08:00Have your pen back.
00:08:01I'll do it.
00:08:03You're not the right type.
00:08:05Not the type.
00:08:07I can run a pub
00:08:09with the best of them.
00:08:10Once and for all, Larkins,
00:08:11you are not running this pub.
00:08:15And now, young man,
00:08:16would you kindly inform me
00:08:18why can't my husband run a pub?
00:08:20Oh, really, Mrs. Larkins?
00:08:21Why, beer is his whole life.
00:08:23He's here all day,
00:08:24down the local half the night.
00:08:26What more can you ask?
00:08:27And he's had experience
00:08:28behind the bar too.
00:08:29Go on, tell him.
00:08:30Yes, well...
00:08:31He stands in when his friend
00:08:32the barman passes.
00:08:33Comes over funny, don't you?
00:08:34If he has one fault,
00:08:36it is not speaking up
00:08:37for himself.
00:08:38Otherwise he'd never let you
00:08:39try and fiddle him
00:08:40out of his rights like this.
00:08:41Go on, speak up for yourself.
00:08:42Yes, well...
00:08:43And he's had experience
00:08:44of chucking out too.
00:08:45And he's honest,
00:08:46hardworking and sober.
00:08:48And this, this is the man
00:08:51you have the flaming cheek
00:08:53to tell me
00:08:54is not the right type.
00:08:56Young man,
00:08:57if your poor father was alive,
00:08:59he'd never dare have done it.
00:09:04Really, dear lady.
00:09:06I don't know what to say.
00:09:08There's nothing to say.
00:09:09When do we start?
00:09:11Will Saturday fortnight suit you?
00:09:13That would suit us lovely.
00:09:14Thank you very much.
00:09:15Good morning.
00:09:20You mean...
00:09:21Yes, Mr. Larkins.
00:09:22You can have the earl, Osborne.
00:09:25Mr. John, Mr. Basil, Mr. Peter.
00:09:28It makes me very proud.
00:09:30Alfred!
00:09:31Coming!
00:09:34What a woman!
00:09:36She certainly is.
00:09:37Just the person
00:09:38we've been looking for.
00:09:39That drive,
00:09:40that forceful personality.
00:09:42She'll run the Osborne
00:09:43as it's never been run before.
00:09:45You see.
00:09:46I bet she'll get things moving.
00:09:48Run me!
00:09:49I tell you.
00:09:50Watch it!
00:09:52Put it down!
00:09:54Oh, my aching back!
00:09:57You're out of condition.
00:09:58That's your trouble.
00:09:59You want to get yourself
00:10:00a pair of those chest expanders.
00:10:02Right now, I settle for a pair
00:10:03of furniture removers.
00:10:04What's this then?
00:10:05Bomb coat?
00:10:06Get moving, some of you!
00:10:09Here.
00:10:10Why do we have to shift
00:10:11this stuff ourselves?
00:10:12Because labor costs money
00:10:14and we get the furniture van free.
00:10:16Furniture van?
00:10:17That thing?
00:10:18Oh, come on, Jeff.
00:10:19Let's get it over with.
00:10:21Up!
00:10:26Well, where's the driver?
00:10:27Why can't he yell?
00:10:29Charlie!
00:10:30Hello.
00:10:32Careful.
00:10:33Mustn't drop it.
00:10:35Now he's helping.
00:10:37There.
00:10:39Never spilt a drop.
00:10:41Mind you don't strain yourself.
00:10:43I'll try not to.
00:10:45Oh, Tom.
00:10:48Why can't you out with the moving?
00:10:50Oh, that's regulations.
00:10:52You see, missus,
00:10:53there's drivers and there's hampers.
00:10:56I happen to be a driver.
00:10:58I don't do no hamping.
00:11:01Talk very nice.
00:11:03I'll be sitting in my van
00:11:05if you want me.
00:11:08Now look, Ida.
00:11:09Well, you're no driver,
00:11:10so get hamping.
00:11:12Hamp!
00:11:23Well, that's that then.
00:11:26Where'd you put the crate?
00:11:27Up front.
00:11:30Ida!
00:11:32You're off at last then.
00:11:34Riding in the van.
00:11:35Van?
00:11:36I beg your pardon.
00:11:37Here's Eddie with the car now.
00:11:45Eddie!
00:11:48What is all this?
00:11:50It's my camping gear.
00:11:51Camping gear?
00:11:56That lot's not coming with us.
00:12:00Come see me off.
00:12:01I'll say a few last words to them.
00:12:03Well, look, shark,
00:12:04we shall never get off.
00:12:05You've got another send-off party here.
00:12:07Look.
00:12:08Oh, not that drunken mob
00:12:10from the local.
00:12:12The old lion and unicorn
00:12:13just won't be the same.
00:12:15Ah, never mind.
00:12:17To us,
00:12:19the fellows of the lion and unicorn
00:12:21intimate drinking society.
00:12:23To us!
00:12:25And I promise you, men,
00:12:27wherever I go,
00:12:30I shall carry on the movement.
00:12:33Damn it!
00:12:34Look out, Ida.
00:12:35And so I said to the baker,
00:12:37I said,
00:12:38hello, Ida, my love.
00:12:39Have you forgot we're moving?
00:12:44Alfred!
00:12:47Oh, for heaven's sake!
00:12:50I'll move you in a minute.
00:12:51Come on, we're nearly in our light already.
00:13:01A day drives.
00:13:15At last!
00:13:18On the move.
00:13:20One, two, three, go!
00:13:30Wagons!
00:13:32Ho!
00:13:43This letter's about the pub,
00:13:44the Earl Osborne.
00:13:46Who is it from?
00:13:48Consolidated Breweries.
00:13:51They want to buy the place.
00:13:53Buy the Osborne?
00:13:55What on earth do they want it for?
00:13:57The Earl Osborne
00:13:59stands in the middle of the village of Osborne Parva.
00:14:02Now, I have information
00:14:04about the new southwestern motorway.
00:14:06It will run through here
00:14:08and here,
00:14:10linking the two existing roads.
00:14:12And right in the middle of this thriving highway
00:14:15will be
00:14:17Osborne Parva.
00:14:19Now, do you see the possibilities?
00:14:21Great.
00:14:22But if vouchers get hold of this,
00:14:23the price will go sky high.
00:14:25The information will not be made public
00:14:26for several weeks.
00:14:28Leave the matter of the purchase to me.
00:14:31As a matter of fact,
00:14:32I've already made a tentative offer
00:14:34for the Osborne.
00:14:36Well, gentlemen, that's all for this morning.
00:14:38Good day to you.
00:14:47Well, what did you find out?
00:14:49The pass is blocked.
00:14:50Well, that's it, then.
00:14:51We're lost.
00:14:53This is you and your backseat driving.
00:14:55Me? And what about Flint McCulloch here?
00:14:57And who said turn left, turn right, turn left?
00:14:59Well, who did?
00:15:00She did.
00:15:01Yeah, you did.
00:15:02Look, there's a farmer.
00:15:04Go and ask him.
00:15:08Excuse me.
00:15:09We rather stupidly have lost ourselves
00:15:11and we was wondering whether you...
00:15:13Anyone who's around.
00:15:14Help in laying dog at the start.
00:15:15There's a father can help you, as you do.
00:15:18I do?
00:15:19Yeah.
00:15:21Osborne Parva.
00:15:23Osborne Parva.
00:15:25Ah.
00:15:26Well, take it and circus with a starting point for this
00:15:28and watch it rise the ground for right-hand side goal.
00:15:31Tilt it and round.
00:15:32Wheel mill.
00:15:33Freshly siloed.
00:15:34And that works it round the background.
00:15:36Must be there with Osborne Parva to seek it.
00:15:38Must it be?
00:15:39Yeah.
00:15:40I see.
00:15:41There's an alternative, Rucus.
00:15:42See with the ground.
00:15:43Look, rise it and round the background
00:15:45on the left-hand side goal.
00:15:47There's a lot of gapers.
00:15:48Beyond and away is the farm...
00:15:50Pooh, the farm away.
00:15:51Oh, but keep it away on account
00:15:53for not wrecking mould for that way.
00:15:54Oh, no.
00:15:55No.
00:15:56No.
00:15:57Not at all.
00:15:58No.
00:16:00Oh, good luck.
00:16:02Deep joy.
00:16:03In your return, always ask him again.
00:16:05We must, will and always do for you.
00:16:08Always.
00:16:09Well, what did he say?
00:16:11Er...
00:16:12Eddie, what did he say?
00:16:14He says it's there.
00:16:24Oh, that's it, Ada, my love.
00:16:43The Earl Osborne.
00:16:44Our future home.
00:16:46Gee, it's a quite looking old place, isn't it?
00:16:48Let's go in.
00:16:50Up, up, Ada, my darling.
00:16:52I'll carry you over the threshold.
00:16:55You what?
00:17:03That's funny.
00:17:04It's locked.
00:17:05Locked?
00:17:06Locked out of me own pub.
00:17:07That's a nice reception, isn't it?
00:17:09Well, it's 3.30.
00:17:11It's out of hours.
00:17:12If they think I'm stopping out here
00:17:13till opening time,
00:17:14they're very much mistaken.
00:17:16I think they've gone away.
00:17:18Gone away?
00:17:19They can't go away until we take over.
00:17:21Close.
00:17:24It's no good, you know.
00:17:25I think we'll have to break in.
00:17:26You tried, that's all.
00:17:28Sure.
00:17:29Good afternoon.
00:17:30We're closed.
00:17:33They're closed.
00:17:34Oh, out of the way.
00:17:39I've warned you.
00:17:40Now, listen.
00:17:41Are you the landlord?
00:17:42No, I'm not.
00:17:43He's packed up.
00:17:44Go.
00:17:45No.
00:17:46Out of the back.
00:17:47Waiting for a relief.
00:17:48All right, Maffigan.
00:17:49Tell him it's here.
00:17:50Come on.
00:18:03Come.
00:18:05They're here.
00:18:07We've got to do something about him.
00:18:09Later.
00:18:10Have you got all the papers?
00:18:11Yes, I've got all the papers.
00:18:13What do you think about Ma?
00:18:16Well, at least it's peaceful.
00:18:20I've been hanging around for you all day.
00:18:22My wife went off with the furniture this morning.
00:18:24Well, that's a matter for the police, not us.
00:18:26Still, as long as you're here, I can't wait to get out of this place.
00:18:29Why?
00:18:30What's wrong with this place?
00:18:31What's wrong with it?
00:18:32You wait.
00:18:33You'll find out.
00:18:34Goodbye.
00:18:35Good luck.
00:18:36Look, do you mind?
00:18:37You can't just rush off.
00:18:38I mean, there are papers to be signed.
00:18:39What about the furniture inventory and the stock list?
00:18:41Well, Silas will look after all that.
00:18:42He'll sell them and pop them and everything.
00:18:44I'm not stopping.
00:18:45Goodbye.
00:18:46Oh, by the way, the guest room's occupied.
00:18:50Guest room?
00:18:54Occupied?
00:18:55Well, at least it means we start with a paying guest.
00:19:00It's not you, is it?
00:19:01No, it ain't.
00:19:02I live out.
00:19:04Well, thank God for that.
00:19:20Don't move.
00:19:26All right, you can turn around now.
00:19:29What are you doing?
00:19:34Did anyone tell you you have very interesting ears?
00:19:38No.
00:19:40Well, you have.
00:19:42I would like to do you.
00:19:46In Orleans.
00:19:49I think I'm in the wrong pub.
00:19:54Eddie!
00:19:57Blimey, I wish you was always that quick.
00:19:59Where have you been?
00:20:00There's a lady up there who wants to embalm me.
00:20:02Eddie, the sooner you find a camp in sight, the better.
00:20:06Eddie.
00:20:08Hello.
00:20:09Hello.
00:20:10Mr. Turner told me about a change of management.
00:20:12Blimey, it ain't a Larkin's accident.
00:20:14I am Yvette Dupree.
00:20:23Light ale.
00:20:24The light ale.
00:20:25One.
00:20:26One.
00:20:27Two.
00:20:28Two.
00:20:29Well, that's enough for a start.
00:20:30Yes.
00:20:34Just checking the lights.
00:20:36I'll check your lights in a minute.
00:20:38Ah, look.
00:20:39Ada.
00:20:43Hello.
00:20:44Hello.
00:20:45This is my husband.
00:20:46Miss Evie Duprez, our paying guest.
00:20:50My son-in-law, Jeff.
00:20:52Bonjour, mademoiselle.
00:20:53Je suis enchanté.
00:20:54As a wife in Canada.
00:20:56Oh, she makes it sound like bigamy.
00:20:58May I wish you every success in...
00:21:05Eddie!
00:21:07Just been inspecting the cellars.
00:21:09Oh, Eddie, what I...
00:21:11Here.
00:21:12Are you going to get up in this here furniture
00:21:15or am I going to drive it all the way back to the smoke?
00:21:18That's right.
00:21:19There's that to come in.
00:21:20Clean in, dust in, polish in.
00:21:22Alfred!
00:21:24Get up in.
00:21:32All right, so we'll raise the offer.
00:21:33I don't think that'll be wise just at the moment.
00:21:36He places a great deal of faith in these new licensees,
00:21:38so obviously a lot depends on them.
00:21:41Very interesting to know how they're getting on.
00:21:43Send someone down.
00:21:44That won't be necessary.
00:21:45I have a nephew who lives near there.
00:21:56Oh, damn!
00:21:58All right, coming!
00:22:03Blast you, wait a minute!
00:22:08Flaming idiot!
00:22:09Now look what you made me do.
00:22:10I've sent a...
00:22:11Percy!
00:22:12Oh, hello, uncle.
00:22:14Listen, Percy, I'm interested in your village inn,
00:22:18the old Osborne.
00:22:19What on earth for?
00:22:22You see, Percy, I have plans which could concern you.
00:22:27Me?
00:22:28How would you like to be manager of a brand-new roadhouse?
00:22:31Very much indeed.
00:22:32What do I do?
00:22:33These new people at the inn,
00:22:35I want you to keep them under close observation.
00:22:38My success and yours depends on their failure.
00:22:43Oh, I do understand, of course.
00:22:45Under observation.
00:22:47Precisely.
00:22:49Why?
00:22:50Never you mind about that.
00:22:54Now you go down to the Osborne,
00:22:55keep your eyes and ears open,
00:22:57and report to me.
00:22:59Oh, I will, uncle.
00:23:00I'll start right away.
00:23:02You leave it to me, uncle.
00:23:03Goodbye.
00:23:05Damn and blast the bath!
00:23:36Hello.
00:23:38Hello.
00:23:41You live in the village?
00:23:42Yeah.
00:23:43So do I now.
00:23:45As soon as I get this lot organised,
00:23:46I'm going to start a scout troop.
00:23:52Would you like to be my first member?
00:23:54No, no.
00:23:55Don't decide until I tell you about it.
00:23:57It teaches you self-reliance, independence, team spirit.
00:24:01You do all sorts of things.
00:24:02Interesting things.
00:24:04Tracking, first aid, signals, knots.
00:24:09I can show you some marvellous things
00:24:10to do with a piece of rope.
00:24:12I've got a spare uniform.
00:24:14What do you say?
00:24:15Your shirt's on fire.
00:24:17What?
00:24:18Oh, blimey!
00:24:21Thank you, thank you.
00:24:23That made me laugh.
00:24:25I'll join.
00:24:29Marvellous, isn't it?
00:24:31Is it always like this evening?
00:24:33I could not say.
00:24:34I am only here a few days
00:24:35and I do not come in this part.
00:24:37Mr. Turner was a bit of a miser.
00:24:39Yes, I'm beginning to see why.
00:24:44Listen.
00:24:52He's coming in.
00:24:53Okay.
00:24:54Here you go.
00:24:56Ah, good evening, sir.
00:24:59Welcome to the Earl of Osborne.
00:25:02The bar's over this way, sir.
00:25:03Make yourself at home.
00:25:04Absolutely.
00:25:05Jeff, Jeff.
00:25:07The lady's not going anywhere, are you?
00:25:09No.
00:25:10No, and as our first customer
00:25:11you can have any drink you like on the house,
00:25:13just name it.
00:25:14All right, I'll have a large scotch and soda.
00:25:16Evie, large scotch, Jeff, the soda.
00:25:18Do you live in the village?
00:25:19Oh, good Lord, no.
00:25:20Actually, I have a little place
00:25:21about three miles away.
00:25:22I come down for the hunting.
00:25:24Ah, you won't be a regular then.
00:25:27I wouldn't be too sure about that.
00:25:29Will you excuse me, please?
00:25:31I was wrong.
00:25:32You are a regular, aren't you?
00:25:36Soda?
00:25:37Dear, dear, what a dreadful thing.
00:25:40Yes, yes, yes.
00:25:42All right.
00:25:43Well, here's to the Earl Osborne
00:25:46and all who sink in her.
00:25:48Earl Osborne?
00:25:49That's a funny name for a pub, isn't it, Pop?
00:25:51Why, Jeff, obviously there once was an Earl Osborne.
00:25:54There still is.
00:25:55He's your next-door neighbor.
00:25:56Aye?
00:25:57Yes, he lives just down the road
00:25:58at Osborne Tower.
00:26:00Well, it's nice to know
00:26:01we've got some respectable neighbors.
00:26:04Pfft!
00:26:05Grrr!
00:26:06Grrr!
00:26:07Grrr!
00:26:10Perfect.
00:26:11Grrr!
00:26:14You can say that again.
00:26:16Do you know,
00:26:17I have been searching
00:26:18all over England for you.
00:26:20You, uh, you have?
00:26:22Oui.
00:26:23And all the time you were here,
00:26:25in your big style,
00:26:26almost on my doorstep.
00:26:28In my, uh,
00:26:30hmm, I've been looking for you, too.
00:26:32Then would you be so very kind
00:26:34as to look just a little longer?
00:26:36Do you know that you are
00:26:37a very rare type?
00:26:39I am?
00:26:40Please, do not move.
00:26:41It spoils the line.
00:26:42Hmm.
00:26:43You have a real peasant face.
00:26:46You mean, uh, you mean pleasant?
00:26:48Mais non, peasant.
00:26:49What you call the farm laborer.
00:26:52The broad, jagged lines,
00:26:54the, the look of the man
00:26:56who belongs to the dirt.
00:26:59Uh, you are sketching me, aren't you?
00:27:01But of course.
00:27:02The character is there.
00:27:04And the, the,
00:27:06the homespun humor, yes?
00:27:08And perhaps just a suggestion
00:27:09of intelligence.
00:27:11Do not worry.
00:27:12It is not enough
00:27:13to spoil the natural effect.
00:27:14Hmm.
00:27:15I'm, uh, I'm glad.
00:27:17So, you may relax now.
00:27:19I have made the rough.
00:27:20Next I must put it on the canvas.
00:27:22Will you sit for me, please?
00:27:24Hmm.
00:27:25For you I'd stand on my head.
00:27:27I do not think you have understood, Mr...
00:27:29Lord.
00:27:30Mr. Lord.
00:27:31It is a business arrangement.
00:27:33You mean, I'll get paid
00:27:35for looking at you?
00:27:37I will do the looking, Mr. Lord.
00:27:39Oh, well, we're, we're in business.
00:27:41Good.
00:27:44Well, the moon's up.
00:27:46That's about the only thing that is.
00:27:48Ten minutes to go.
00:27:50Look, is it always like this?
00:27:52Or is there ever any let-up
00:27:54from this team in turmoil?
00:27:57Well, it's never busy.
00:27:59Now, look, somebody must come in here.
00:28:01What about the villagers?
00:28:03Villagers?
00:28:04Oh, dear, you've made a very big mistake.
00:28:06In fact, I think the best thing you can do
00:28:08is to pack up and go back to London
00:28:09before you all starve to death.
00:28:11Now, look here.
00:28:12We don't need your salt in here.
00:28:14Spreading gloom and despondency.
00:28:17Well, really.
00:28:18It's late.
00:28:19Go home to your mother.
00:28:20Very well.
00:28:21I shall leave.
00:28:24But mark my words.
00:28:26You've made a very big mistake.
00:28:29Uh...
00:28:31You know, I think he might have taken offense
00:28:33at something you said.
00:28:35I think we've lost a customer.
00:28:37A customer?
00:28:38The customer.
00:28:40We can do without his salt.
00:28:42Oh, hello.
00:28:43Here's Evie back.
00:28:45Hello.
00:28:46Bill, I would like you to meet
00:28:47the new management for the Earl Osborne.
00:28:49Mr. and Mrs. Larkin.
00:28:50How do you do?
00:28:51And Mr. Jeff.
00:28:52How do you do?
00:28:53Bill, he's a big man
00:28:54and he works for Lord Osborne.
00:28:55Ah, we're not used to you.
00:28:56You work forever, Bill.
00:28:57Oh, thank you.
00:28:58You work for Lord Osborne?
00:29:00Uh, I work on the estate.
00:29:02What's he like?
00:29:03Me?
00:29:04Oh, oh, Lord Osborne.
00:29:05Oh, he's all right.
00:29:07Tell me, have you been out of the village yet?
00:29:09No, we haven't had time.
00:29:10Well, you'll find them very nice people.
00:29:12But I should warn you about Sergeant Saunders.
00:29:14He's the local lawman.
00:29:15Believe you me, he's a real hard case.
00:29:17Well, I don't mind how hard he is.
00:29:18He can come in here any time he likes.
00:29:20In fact, if he's a drinky man,
00:29:21the sooner the better.
00:29:22That's the point.
00:29:23He's strict temperance.
00:29:24Oh, blimey.
00:29:26Here, there's a copper on a bike outside.
00:29:28I think he's coming in.
00:29:29A copper?
00:29:30What does he want?
00:29:31I don't know, Bill.
00:29:34I'll go out the back way, if you don't mind.
00:29:36Thanks for the drink.
00:29:37Good night.
00:29:38Good night, Bill.
00:29:39See you, Bill.
00:29:40Ah, good evening, Sergeant.
00:29:42You the new licensee?
00:29:44That's right, mate.
00:29:45Yes, Sergeant.
00:29:46Mate.
00:29:47Name of Larkins.
00:29:48Adderdale.
00:29:49At your service.
00:29:50You're not at mine, matey.
00:29:51If I had my way, I'd close...
00:29:53Ah, but never mind about that.
00:29:55I just looked in to tell you this,
00:29:57and I'll give it to you straight.
00:29:59I'm the law in these parts,
00:30:01and I enforce it to the letter.
00:30:02Is that clear?
00:30:03And I may tell you I've already had
00:30:05one complaint about you lot.
00:30:07Who from?
00:30:08Oh, that don't take much working out, does it?
00:30:10Never you mind who from.
00:30:11You just take warning.
00:30:13That's all.
00:30:14Now, look here.
00:30:15Shh, shh, shh.
00:30:16Don't you shush me.
00:30:17Belt up.
00:30:19I'll say no more now.
00:30:21I shall be keeping my eye on this place.
00:30:23Good night.
00:30:25Good night, Sergeant.
00:30:27Mate.
00:30:28Look here, what do you have a gun
00:30:29to shut me up for?
00:30:30Ada, he's a police sergeant.
00:30:32I don't care if he's the postmaster general
00:30:34coming in here,
00:30:35spoiling our first evening like that.
00:30:38Here, Eddie.
00:30:39Your camp's full of cattle.
00:30:41Cattle?
00:30:42Eddie, come back here.
00:30:44Emergency.
00:30:45I'll take Buttercup.
00:30:47Here, you be careful.
00:30:48Never you mind about Buttercup.
00:30:50Isn't that Sergeant coming in
00:30:51and walking all over us?
00:30:52Hey, don't tuck it in.
00:30:53Hey, let's get the place locked up.
00:30:55It's past closing time.
00:30:56All right, then.
00:30:57Move yourself.
00:30:58Come on, everybody.
00:30:59Let's get to bed.
00:31:00I'm worn out, honest, I am.
00:31:06Marvellous, isn't it?
00:31:08Creeping about with oil lamps.
00:31:12I saw a film once.
00:31:14Blood of the Vampire, it was called.
00:31:16Oh, Alf, do shut up for heaven's sake
00:31:18and let's get to bed.
00:31:20Yes, if Eddie's damaged that car,
00:31:21I'll murder it.
00:31:22He drives a darn sight
00:31:23better than you do, let me tell you.
00:31:40Can't stop mine.
00:32:03Alfred, do come to bed.
00:32:05What are you fiddling about, eh?
00:32:07Don't throw me trousers, mate.
00:32:09You've got to keep the greases in
00:32:10for the morning, you know.
00:32:11Alf, you're going into a bar,
00:32:13not a bank.
00:32:14Come to bed.
00:32:15Right.
00:32:18Turn out the lights.
00:32:25Do the clock.
00:32:40Good night, my darling.
00:32:41Oh, go to sleep!
00:32:54Get out of it!
00:32:56Go on, get out of it!
00:32:56Go on, get out of it!
00:32:57Go on, get out of it!
00:32:58Get out!
00:33:12What is it?
00:33:13Shh, listen.
00:33:16Eddie, quiet.
00:33:18Alfred!
00:33:44What's the matter with them
00:33:45and are they all dead?
00:33:47Hey there!
00:33:53Alf!
00:33:54Yeah?
00:33:55Go and find out what it is.
00:34:05Hansman.
00:34:06Hansman?
00:34:14What is all this?
00:34:16Oh, it's you again, is it?
00:34:17I might have known.
00:34:18What's the idea?
00:34:19Madam, I did tell you I hunted.
00:34:22You never brought this lot
00:34:23round here to prove it.
00:34:25You must want your head looked at.
00:34:27You don't understand.
00:34:28Oh, yes, I do.
00:34:29You're just trying to be awkward,
00:34:30you and your complaints.
00:34:32I'll have the lot of you
00:34:33over at the courthouse,
00:34:34horses and all.
00:34:35Names, I'll have your names,
00:34:36I'll have yours for a start.
00:34:38I am Sir Hector Gore Blandish,
00:34:40Master of Foxhouse.
00:34:42I'm surprised at you.
00:34:43I'm sure enough to know better.
00:34:45Madam, we want our stirrup cup.
00:34:48Stirrup?
00:34:49Well, I haven't got your
00:34:50flaming stirrup cup.
00:34:52It's a drink.
00:34:54You'll be lucky this time
00:34:56in the morning.
00:34:57We must be start raving mad.
00:34:59Madam!
00:35:00Now, you listen to me.
00:35:01You get this lot out of here.
00:35:02Do you hear me?
00:35:03Go on.
00:35:04Dogs, horses,
00:35:05the old perishing circus.
00:35:08No stirrup cup.
00:35:09Come on, Furbright.
00:35:10Let's get started.
00:35:18Hey, horse.
00:35:19Whoa, don't do that.
00:35:22Oh, well.
00:35:23Good for the roses.
00:35:27Cheek of some people.
00:35:30What was all that about
00:35:31a stirrup pump?
00:35:32Oh, go to sleep.
00:35:41Hello, Eddie.
00:35:42Oh, hello, George.
00:35:43Here.
00:35:44Please, do you mind?
00:35:45I didn't get rid of
00:35:46those blinking cows
00:35:47till half past three.
00:35:49Oh, no.
00:35:50That's very kind of you, George.
00:35:51Thank you very much.
00:35:52Here, what's the time?
00:35:53I don't know.
00:35:54That's what I always ask people.
00:35:55Half past eight?
00:35:56I should have sounded
00:35:57a valley hours ago.
00:36:05Here.
00:36:06There's another troop camp
00:36:07around here.
00:36:08Dunno.
00:36:09There is, you know.
00:36:10I'll try and contact them.
00:36:30Here.
00:36:31Look out.
00:36:40Whoa, whoa, whoa.
00:36:59Look at that.
00:37:00Do you see what they've done?
00:37:01If they busted me bugle...
00:37:05Ah!
00:37:07Now it's all right.
00:37:08They're coming again.
00:37:30Eddie!
00:37:31Eddie, are you all right?
00:37:33Eddie.
00:37:34Hey, Eddie.
00:37:35Oh, he's squashed.
00:37:37Oh, Eddie.
00:37:38Oh.
00:37:39Oh.
00:37:40Oh.
00:37:41Oh.
00:37:42Oh.
00:37:43Oh.
00:37:44Oh.
00:37:45Oh.
00:37:46The rotten lot.
00:37:49Look what they've done
00:37:50to me bugle.
00:37:54I'll sue them.
00:37:55I'll have them up in court.
00:37:57I'll tell my mum.
00:38:08They went that-a-way.
00:38:14Good morning, Sergeant.
00:38:16We're not open yet, you know.
00:38:18I know that.
00:38:19I'm making inquiries
00:38:20concerning a charge
00:38:21of dangerous driving.
00:38:22Dangerous?
00:38:23Oh, yes.
00:38:24Shortly after I left here last night.
00:38:26I was driven off the road
00:38:27by some maniac.
00:38:29Go on.
00:38:30That's a terrible thing.
00:38:32And of course,
00:38:33you've no idea who it was.
00:38:34I got me suspicions.
00:38:36Where's your car?
00:38:37Car?
00:38:39Ah.
00:38:40That little old Europe
00:38:41painted tin can
00:38:42as was stood out there last night.
00:38:43Where is it?
00:38:44If you're gonna stand here all day,
00:38:45there's work to be done.
00:38:47Oh, hello.
00:38:48Now what's the trouble?
00:38:49I'd like a few words
00:38:50with your son.
00:38:51Well, you can't have him
00:38:52because he's not here.
00:38:53Yeah, yeah, you see.
00:38:54Look, call again in a few weeks.
00:38:55Months.
00:38:56What are you talking about?
00:38:57He's only up the road camping.
00:38:58Camping?
00:38:59Then where's the car?
00:39:00Pinched.
00:39:01Yes, I remember now.
00:39:02Pinched?
00:39:03Are you mad?
00:39:04Eddie went up in it last night.
00:39:06Ah.
00:39:07Here, nothing's happened
00:39:08to my Eddie, has it?
00:39:09No, ma, not yet.
00:39:11Oh, now, there he is now.
00:39:13Bless him.
00:39:16Eddie.
00:39:19Whatever has happened?
00:39:21It was the aunt.
00:39:22They flattened me tent.
00:39:23Oh, never mind, lad.
00:39:25But I was in it.
00:39:26What?
00:39:27And they busted me bugle.
00:39:29Now then, young man,
00:39:30I have a few questions.
00:39:32And so have I.
00:39:33Just look what they've done
00:39:34to his bugle.
00:39:35Now then, madam.
00:39:36Don't you matter me.
00:39:37You get on that bike
00:39:38and after them huntsmen.
00:39:39I'm bringing a charge
00:39:40of dangerous horse riding.
00:39:41I was knocked off my bike
00:39:42by that young man.
00:39:43There you are.
00:39:44You see, they got him too.
00:39:45What are you waiting for?
00:39:46Go on.
00:39:47You'll wait until I get
00:39:48my hands on that aunt.
00:39:51It's them again.
00:39:52They're following me round.
00:39:53Hey.
00:39:54Oi, oi, oi.
00:39:55You, young man.
00:39:56I want you.
00:39:57Now you listen.
00:39:58I want you to arrest that aunt.
00:40:00Arrest the aunt?
00:40:02Yeah, what was that?
00:40:03Oh, something ran through.
00:40:04An animal.
00:40:06An animal?
00:40:07A little.
00:40:08With a sharp head
00:40:09and the beady eyes.
00:40:10It sounds like
00:40:11your mother, Ada.
00:40:12A fox.
00:40:13A fox?
00:40:14What's in here?
00:40:15Oh, don't just stand there.
00:40:16Evict it.
00:40:17But he's got a groan.
00:40:18They're dead cunning, you know.
00:40:20Foxy.
00:40:21Foxy, Foxy, Foxy, Foxy.
00:40:23Felt that.
00:40:24Mon Dieu.
00:40:25But it was such a little fox.
00:40:27It is not fair.
00:40:28No, it's not.
00:40:29I know what it feels like.
00:40:30Not fair?
00:40:31They're only vermin.
00:40:32I don't care what they are.
00:40:34If it's right, it's not fair.
00:40:36All that lot
00:40:37onto one poor little fox.
00:40:40Hey, the hounds
00:40:41are coming this way.
00:40:43Men, shut the door, mate.
00:40:45I thought you were here somewhere.
00:41:07Now get these dogs out of here.
00:41:09D'Arbogne, sir.
00:41:10Here, Bosworth.
00:41:11He'll bear a guard.
00:41:12Ah, Sergeant.
00:41:13Morning, Sergeant.
00:41:14I wonder what's going on here, eh?
00:41:16Fox got the ground, sir.
00:41:18Well, let the hounds
00:41:19have the run of the place.
00:41:20We'll soon send him out.
00:41:21Oh, watch it.
00:41:24Eh?
00:41:25Don't you, eh, me?
00:41:26I'll give you three minutes
00:41:27to get out of here
00:41:28and take this lot with you.
00:41:29What?
00:41:30Three minutes
00:41:31or I'll have you up
00:41:32in front of the local magistrate.
00:41:34None of it might interest you
00:41:35to know I am the local magistrate.
00:41:38Then you ought to know better
00:41:39than to go chasing
00:41:40around the countryside
00:41:41prosecuting a poor little
00:41:42dumb animal.
00:41:43You're right.
00:41:44You talk to her.
00:41:45I say, look,
00:41:46don't mess about.
00:41:48Can we have our fox back?
00:41:50No, you can't.
00:41:52Desert woman,
00:41:53the brute's in here somewhere.
00:41:54I don't care.
00:41:55I'm giving it political asylum.
00:41:57You can't do that.
00:41:58You're holding up the kill.
00:42:01Ow!
00:42:02What's the matter, mate?
00:42:03He's under the counter.
00:42:04Where?
00:42:05In the barrel.
00:42:06It can't be.
00:42:07It is.
00:42:08I heard it.
00:42:09It can't be.
00:42:10Your barrel's full of rubble.
00:42:12Well, there's your fox.
00:42:14Why don't you just reach in
00:42:15and take it?
00:42:17Come on out.
00:42:18Come on out, you brute.
00:42:25Look at Bush
00:42:26in the corner there.
00:42:33Hey, look, Abe.
00:42:34He'll have that barrel over.
00:42:42Look.
00:42:43Look.
00:42:44Look.
00:42:45Look.
00:42:46Look.
00:42:47Look.
00:42:48Look.
00:42:49Look.
00:42:50Look.
00:42:51Look.
00:42:52Look.
00:42:53Look.
00:42:54Look.
00:42:55Look.
00:42:56Look.
00:42:57Look.
00:42:58Look.
00:42:59Look.
00:43:00Look.
00:43:01Look.
00:43:02Look.
00:43:03Look.
00:43:04Look.
00:43:05Look.
00:43:06Look.
00:43:07Look.
00:43:08Look.
00:43:09Look.
00:43:11Look.
00:43:12Look.
00:43:13Look.
00:43:16You've certainly won your battle over the hunt.
00:43:19Of course, stone the crows.
00:43:20I can just see old Percy's face.
00:43:22The village is talking of nothing else.
00:43:23Then it's a pity that I don't come up here
00:43:25and talk about it.
00:43:26If only there was some passing trade.
00:43:28Passing trade.
00:43:30You know, we're right off the map.
00:43:32Look.
00:43:33Here's the road we're on.
00:43:34If you can call it a road.
00:43:36Each end of it, there's a main road.
00:43:38And we're stuck right in the middle.
00:43:40All that lovely traffic whizzing up and down.
00:43:42And what do we get?
00:43:44Nothing.
00:43:46If only there was some way.
00:43:48Yeah.
00:44:02Now.
00:44:11Now.
00:44:35Marvellous.
00:44:36Yeah.
00:44:37So far, so good.
00:44:38I wonder how the others are doing.
00:44:39Are you finished yet?
00:44:51All right, Eddie.
00:44:52I think we should go now.
00:44:53Should do.
00:44:54Now?
00:44:55Not yet.
00:44:58Now.
00:45:10George!
00:45:11George, are you all right, George?
00:45:13George?
00:45:14George.
00:45:16George.
00:45:17Here.
00:45:18Come here.
00:45:19Hey, you lot.
00:45:20Jump in there, my good tree.
00:45:22What are we going to do now?
00:45:24Run like hell.
00:45:25Come back.
00:45:26Come back here, I say.
00:45:30Hey, you lot.
00:45:31Come back here.
00:45:32I'm going to have the law on you.
00:45:34Come back.
00:45:35Come back here, I say.
00:45:37Come back here, I say.
00:45:45Well, that looks a bit more healthy, doesn't it?
00:45:47Zowie.
00:45:54That's right.
00:45:55Plenty of salt.
00:45:58Right.
00:45:59Bang on opening time now.
00:46:00Stand by for the catering.
00:46:01We're ready.
00:46:02And a little less field marshalling from you
00:46:04and a little more sandwich cutting.
00:46:08All right.
00:46:27Darling.
00:46:37Eddie.
00:46:38Evie.
00:46:39Me over here.
00:46:40Yeah.
00:46:43Sandwich, monsieur.
00:46:44Thank you, miss.
00:46:45Here you are, Bill.
00:46:46What's the old up?
00:46:47You can get a drink at the hospital and have a sandwich.
00:46:50Go on, have a sandwich.
00:46:56Very nice.
00:47:06Very nice.
00:47:11Excuse me, miss.
00:47:12Can you tell me anywhere I can get a drink around here?
00:47:14Of course.
00:47:15The Earl of Spoon.
00:47:16Where is it?
00:47:17Below the traffic jam.
00:47:18You can't miss it.
00:47:24Lady, I've a most terrible thirst.
00:47:26The Earl of Spoon, just round there.
00:47:28Thanks.
00:47:29Come on, it's all hands to the pumps.
00:47:54You don't want a drink, darling?
00:47:57Darling.
00:47:58Darling.
00:47:59Oh.
00:48:00Darling.
00:48:26Who's little handy-dandies are these?
00:48:29Yours.
00:48:30Who's little tootsie-wootsies are these?
00:48:33Yours.
00:48:34Yours.
00:48:35Who the hell's that?
00:48:36Buzz off, will you?
00:48:37Be big Tom, I'll have the law on you.
00:48:40Sorry.
00:48:41Now, time's up.
00:48:42Please, time's up.
00:48:43No, you're not.
00:48:44I'm sorry, mate.
00:48:45We're dead.
00:48:46Sorry.
00:48:47No, nothing for us.
00:48:48No, nothing for us.
00:48:49No, nothing for us.
00:48:50No, nothing for us.
00:48:51No, nothing for us.
00:48:52No, nothing for us.
00:48:53No, nothing for us.
00:48:54No, nothing for us.
00:48:56Thank you very much.
00:48:57Thank you very much.
00:48:58Thank you very much.
00:49:07I say, you're the apartment chap here, aren't you?
00:49:09Yes, I am.
00:49:10Well, do have a cigarette.
00:49:14Oh, tipped.
00:49:16How are you getting on with these new people?
00:49:19Common lot.
00:49:21Slave drivers, too.
00:49:22Well, if they were to lose their license, they'd go away and leave you in peace again, wouldn't they?
00:49:28Yeah.
00:49:29What do you want me to do for this?
00:49:31Oh, I'll leave that to you.
00:49:32Just something that constitutes a breach of the licensing laws.
00:49:35I'm sure that you can...
00:49:36Oh, I see.
00:49:38Yes, of course.
00:49:39Here, look out.
00:49:40There's someone coming.
00:49:41Bit all right.
00:49:42I had the surprise of my life when I saw you standing there.
00:49:44A beautiful girl like you.
00:49:45And there was I mucking out the pigs.
00:49:47A dirtier job you could never have.
00:49:53Merci, Bill.
00:49:54Pleasure.
00:49:55Same time tomorrow?
00:49:56But yes.
00:49:57I shall have to work on you for quite a long time yet.
00:50:00Why not change it into a full-length portrait?
00:50:02That would take him longer.
00:50:04You are making fun of me.
00:50:07I was never more serious in my life.
00:50:12Au revoir, Bill.
00:50:13Don't let your wicked Lord Osborne work you too hard.
00:50:16Oh, don't worry.
00:50:17I can handle him.
00:50:19At least I think I can.
00:50:23Get in off you, Lordship.
00:50:25Belt up.
00:50:27Don't lose your temper, your Lordship.
00:50:29Here, have a drink.
00:50:31A large cyanide.
00:50:33Manners.
00:50:34I won't breathe a word.
00:50:35You do and you won't be breathing at all.
00:50:40Okay, you can come out now.
00:50:41He's gone.
00:50:43Where are you?
00:50:47What are you doing in there?
00:50:48Well, how was I to know it was full of water?
00:50:51Water.
00:50:54A whole week since that traffic jam
00:50:56and there hasn't been a living soul in the place.
00:50:58Let's have another diversion.
00:51:00Uh-uh.
00:51:01It's not worth it.
00:51:02Two hours of rip-roaring trade
00:51:03and three days of the third degree.
00:51:05That sergeant knows we were behind it.
00:51:07He can't prove anything.
00:51:08Ah, Jeff's right.
00:51:09No more diversions.
00:51:10That was a good trick.
00:51:11You can only work it at once.
00:51:13Now, we are going to concentrate on the local trade.
00:51:16What local trade?
00:51:18If I hadn't seen it for myself,
00:51:19I wouldn't believe there was a village down there at all.
00:51:21Oh, there's a village down there, all right, boy,
00:51:22and I propose to get it up here.
00:51:24Eddie, you look after your mother.
00:51:25Jeff, you come along with me.
00:51:33Mind you, it took a bit of sacrifice,
00:51:35but, well, see for yourself.
00:51:38Pop, are you mad?
00:51:40I don't think so.
00:51:41Can you see the little lettering underneath?
00:51:43Well, hardly.
00:51:45Why, what's it say?
00:51:46Limited offer only.
00:51:49Yeah, but how long for?
00:51:50The first two minutes.
00:51:54Yeah, it just might bring them in.
00:51:56Might?
00:51:57Might?
00:51:59It will, mate.
00:52:00Look at that little lot.
00:52:02Interested, innit?
00:52:09You're right.
00:52:10I am mad.
00:52:12No, Pop.
00:52:13I'm a coward.
00:52:16Fight it.
00:52:17All right.
00:52:18One minute.
00:52:20Man the pumps.
00:52:25Never!
00:52:27Come on, Pop.
00:52:28Let's bring them in.
00:52:29Yeah, but not them two.
00:52:30Liberty will take him.
00:52:31Perishers.
00:52:33This way, gents.
00:52:34Gents?
00:52:35This way.
00:52:36Don't you want your free beer?
00:52:47What's going on here?
00:52:49Search me.
00:52:50Maybe they're just playing hard to get.
00:52:56Blimey, look at that.
00:52:58Oh.
00:53:02What's he got all about?
00:53:04I don't know, mate.
00:53:05But we're soon going to find out.
00:53:06Come on.
00:53:17Neil!
00:53:19Oh, hello.
00:53:21Hello, he says.
00:53:22Look, mate.
00:53:23Ain't we got enough trouble without you setting up an opposition?
00:53:26Look, I'm awfully sorry about this.
00:53:28But I have to do it.
00:53:29You have to do it?
00:53:30Yes, of course he does.
00:53:31He's only acting under orders.
00:53:33Where's your governor?
00:53:35Well, he's...
00:53:36Yeah, your governor.
00:53:37Lord Flippin' Osborne.
00:53:39Suck it, Dad.
00:53:40It's poisonous, mate.
00:53:43Look, could you come back later?
00:53:45Kindly inform Lord Osborne that we desire to see him at once.
00:53:50Personal.
00:53:51Come on, let's have him out.
00:53:52He's gone away on a world cruise.
00:53:55He's all right?
00:53:56Yes, thank you, your lordship.
00:54:01Your lordship.
00:54:02Your what?
00:54:03Lord Osborne.
00:54:04Now, look, I can explain.
00:54:06It was Yvette.
00:54:07She took me for the pig man and I...
00:54:09It was a wonder she never took you for one of the pigs.
00:54:12Oh, you sneaking, conniving, peasant, grinding, blue-blooded...
00:54:17Don't waste your breath on him, Alf.
00:54:20Come on, he's not worth it.
00:54:24Look, Jeff, you don't believe...
00:54:28Bootlegger.
00:54:31Not only does Osborne brew the stuff himself,
00:54:34but he's got all the properties of a pig.
00:54:38But he's got all the proper licenses.
00:54:40If he wanted to sell it, we couldn't touch him.
00:54:42I tell you, when I see him, I take my canvas and I hit him.
00:54:45So...
00:54:46She's going to frame him.
00:54:52Cellophane.
00:54:55There's nothing else for it.
00:54:57Dad will have to work the old article again.
00:55:00Hello?
00:55:01Another diverge.
00:55:02Use your loaf.
00:55:03Number, please.
00:55:04Hello?
00:55:05I want to put through a call to London, please.
00:55:14Now that goes.
00:55:24Do you mind?
00:55:26You're a long way from home, aren't you?
00:55:31Alfred.
00:55:33Eddie.
00:55:36Here, sit, boy.
00:55:38Good luck.
00:55:39Very good, thanks to you, mate.
00:55:41I still don't know how you managed to work it.
00:55:43Oh, it was a piece of cake.
00:55:45You see, a lot was done for Chessington Zoo.
00:55:48But they'd have had a different...
00:55:50Well, the assignment was very decent of you, mate.
00:55:52Oh, I didn't think nothing of it.
00:55:53Nothing at all.
00:55:54Anything for you, Alfie boy.
00:55:55Anything at all.
00:55:56And Ferdinand out of there?
00:55:57Felt just the same.
00:55:59That's very touching.
00:56:00Nah, not at all.
00:56:01When a mate's in trouble, you're mucking to help him out, don't you?
00:56:04After all, what does it cost?
00:56:07Five nicket apiece, an order beer you can drink.
00:56:10Come on.
00:56:41Yes.
00:56:42Eight vodkas at 24 shillings.
00:56:47And one glass, 28 bob.
00:56:59Sergeant!
00:57:00Sergeant!
00:57:01Don't blanch us off the boat.
00:57:03We've got to get out of here.
00:57:05We've got to get out of here.
00:57:07We've got to get out of here.
00:57:09Don't blanch us up the pub.
00:57:10They're selling drinks after time.
00:57:12What?
00:57:13Here, put this down.
00:57:14Over there.
00:57:15And hurry up, will you?
00:57:19Come on.
00:57:20I'll run you up on my scooter.
00:57:22It's really very good of you to turn out.
00:57:25I really think we've got...
00:57:30Oh, come on.
00:57:31Hurry.
00:57:39Hurry.
00:57:50Good evening, Sergeant.
00:57:51What's your pleasure?
00:57:52Very considerable.
00:57:53You're pinched.
00:57:54Pinched?
00:57:55What for?
00:57:56Do you know what time it is?
00:57:58Well, that clock's ten minutes fast.
00:58:00It's five to ten.
00:58:01Oh, that's jolly well that.
00:58:03The exact Greenwich time is...
00:58:06five to ten.
00:58:08Five...
00:58:09I say, look here, it can't be.
00:58:11I know it can't be.
00:58:13When I see them coaches arrive,
00:58:15I'll put that clock on another 20 minutes.
00:58:18Time, please.
00:58:20Time, ladies and gentlemen, please.
00:58:22It's time you was in here.
00:58:24Now, look here, Al.
00:58:25Come on, let's have you up.
00:58:26Let's have you then.
00:58:27Time, thank you, Sergeant.
00:58:29Time, please.
00:58:30Thank you so much.
00:58:31Come again, Sergeant.
00:58:32Come again.
00:58:33Thank you, one more.
00:58:34Hello.
00:58:35Once more.
00:58:37You bother me just once more.
00:58:40We can all make mistakes.
00:58:42Good night, Sergeant.
00:58:43You...
00:58:47If you want to know the time...
00:58:51Well, perhaps not.
00:58:56Nice.
00:58:57Very nice.
00:58:58Yes, we are in business.
00:59:00Not half.
00:59:01If all six can keep this up,
00:59:02I'll tell you we're in clover.
00:59:04By the way, we're out of wallop.
00:59:05I better ring Belchers.
00:59:07Ada, my darling,
00:59:08why are you looking so miserable?
00:59:10This ain't just a flash in the pan,
00:59:11you know, like the diversion.
00:59:13Cheer up, girl.
00:59:14We're a success.
00:59:15Oh, no, we're not.
00:59:16What about the locals?
00:59:17The locals?
00:59:18Who cares about the locals?
00:59:20With a couple of mystery tours a week,
00:59:22we don't need them.
00:59:23Oh, yes, we do.
00:59:25Whoever heard of a local without any locals?
00:59:27Why, it's like, um...
00:59:29Like Baden without Palm?
00:59:31That day.
00:59:32You can't fight free beer, mate.
00:59:34I can fight anything
00:59:35if I put my mind to it.
00:59:37Now, you get into town
00:59:38and bank that money.
00:59:39I'm going down to the village.
00:59:41I'll fill this place up with locals
00:59:43if it kills them.
00:59:47Your mother is on the warpath again.
00:59:55That was the Thursday.
00:59:56On the Saturday,
00:59:57a rubby come back
00:59:58and he couldn't do anything about it.
01:00:03In the end,
01:00:04in the end,
01:00:05they had to take the locals.
01:00:08Good morning.
01:00:09Good morning.
01:00:10I'll have a large loaf, please.
01:00:13Half a cheddar
01:00:14and a bar of soda.
01:00:15Oh, we only got the yellow washing.
01:00:17That's all right.
01:00:18It's all they sent me,
01:00:19the blighters.
01:00:21Oh.
01:00:22Here, Dolly,
01:00:23you want a taster?
01:00:25Oh, yes, lovely.
01:00:33Ah, that'll be the salt, then.
01:00:36Now, then.
01:00:38The salt.
01:00:39That'll be three and eightpence,
01:00:41take me to you.
01:00:42Thank you very much,
01:00:43three and eightpence.
01:00:45That's lovely.
01:00:46Anything else?
01:00:47Yes.
01:00:48I'd like to know something
01:00:50about what goes on
01:00:51in this village of yours.
01:00:53Oh, of course.
01:00:55I couldn't tell her
01:00:56anything like that,
01:00:57could I, Dolly?
01:00:59I couldn't tell her
01:01:00anything like that,
01:01:01could I, Dolly?
01:01:02What was it you wanted
01:01:03to know, dear?
01:01:04Well, now, look.
01:01:05You've got a perfectly good
01:01:06little pub up the road.
01:01:07It's a very nice pub.
01:01:09Why don't none of you use it?
01:01:11Ah, well, that's because
01:01:13of the bounty, I suppose.
01:01:15The bounty?
01:01:17For you?
01:01:19The Osborne bounty,
01:01:20the free beer Lord Osborne
01:01:22gives away to the village.
01:01:24Love him.
01:01:25Love him.
01:01:26Love him.
01:01:27I'd like to lynch him.
01:01:28Well, it's tradition.
01:01:30Tradition?
01:01:31There's a downright liberty.
01:01:33He's taking our trade away
01:01:34and you're encouraging him.
01:01:36Now, go on.
01:01:37It's nothing of the sort,
01:01:38is it, doll?
01:01:39He has to do it.
01:01:40He can't help himself.
01:01:42It's ripped down in the charter
01:01:44because of what the third earl done.
01:01:46Mind you,
01:01:47it only happens once a quarter.
01:01:49It's called the Osborne bounty.
01:01:51My hubby calls it
01:01:52guzzling sundial.
01:01:55Leave all for...
01:01:57That I can believe.
01:01:59But where do they drink
01:02:00for the rest of the time, then?
01:02:02They don't.
01:02:03My hubby says
01:02:04once they've had an Aussie,
01:02:05it spoils them
01:02:06for any other kind of beer.
01:02:08Go on.
01:02:09Yes, he makes it
01:02:10from this special recipe,
01:02:11you see,
01:02:12that's been handed down
01:02:13to him for hundreds of years.
01:02:15It's ever so interesting.
01:02:16Interesting.
01:02:18I'm spellbound.
01:02:20And mind you,
01:02:21it's not only because it's free.
01:02:23My hubby's walking
01:02:24a mile for an Aussie,
01:02:25so would hers.
01:02:26He says be blow to the bounty.
01:02:27He says he'd gladly pay for it.
01:02:29Pay for it.
01:02:30Oh, charming.
01:02:32And they won't even
01:02:33walk across the road
01:02:34for a Belchers.
01:02:36Well, thank you very much
01:02:37for the history lesson
01:02:39and for the chorus.
01:02:41You've learned me a lot.
01:02:43Oh, are you going?
01:02:44I am.
01:02:45It's high time
01:02:46we had mutiny on the bounty.
01:02:49Ah.
01:02:50Now, look, I can explain it.
01:02:52You don't have to.
01:02:53I've just been hearing
01:02:54all about your third oil
01:02:56and I think it's high time
01:02:58we altered the course of history.
01:03:00Come on.
01:03:02Who's she
01:03:03when she's alone
01:03:04with her boots off?
01:03:27You took your time, didn't you?
01:03:29Now, look.
01:03:30You've been drinking.
01:03:32Hey, Doc.
01:03:33Are these all villagers?
01:03:34Of course.
01:03:35I said I'd do it
01:03:36and I have.
01:03:37That's how.
01:03:38Simple.
01:03:39I found out what was wrong
01:03:40and I put it right.
01:03:41Marvellous.
01:03:42That's what you are, Gil.
01:03:43You're marvellous now, don't you?
01:03:45Wrong.
01:03:46What was wrong, then?
01:03:47They don't like Belchers beer.
01:03:50Don't like?
01:03:51They don't like Belchers beer.
01:03:53They don't like Belchers beer.
01:03:55Don't like?
01:03:56They're all in here, aren't they?
01:03:57They're all drinking it, aren't they?
01:04:00Ada, what's all this with the...
01:04:03Aussie.
01:04:04Aussie?
01:04:05Ada, you never...
01:04:06I did.
01:04:07I done a deal with Bill.
01:04:09He let me have six barrels.
01:04:10He was saving for Christmas.
01:04:11The word got around
01:04:12and Bob's your uncle.
01:04:13Ada, do you know what you've done?
01:04:14I got the local trade.
01:04:15That's what I've done.
01:04:16Ada, you put us right into it, mate.
01:04:18That's what you've done.
01:04:19How?
01:04:20Well, we're a Belchers house
01:04:21and we can only sell Belchers beer.
01:04:22But they don't like Belchers.
01:04:24They like Aussie.
01:04:25But we mustn't sell Aussie beer.
01:04:27Why not?
01:04:28I paid for it
01:04:29and he's got a brewing licence.
01:04:30I don't care if he's got
01:04:31a marriage licence.
01:04:32We're only allowed to sell Belchers.
01:04:34Look, don't you understand?
01:04:35No.
01:04:36Look, Ada, mate,
01:04:37I've been 25 years in the trade.
01:04:38Are you going to argue with that?
01:04:39Are you going to argue with that?
01:04:41Look, do you want
01:04:42the local trade or don't you?
01:04:43Of course I want the local trade.
01:04:44Well, that's the only way
01:04:45you're going to get it.
01:04:46Look, the Belchers
01:04:47don't have to know, do they?
01:04:48No, they don't have to.
01:04:50Well, there you are then.
01:04:51Stop moaning
01:04:52and go and mingle with them.
01:04:53Mingle?
01:04:54Mingle!
01:04:55Yes.
01:04:56Yes, sir.
01:04:59See, that's great, Bill.
01:05:01Hey, Pop, did you hear?
01:05:03Yes, I heard.
01:05:05Here, you ought to know
01:05:06better than you ought
01:05:07letting my wife...
01:05:08Let your wife?
01:05:09Have you ever tried
01:05:10to stop your wife?
01:05:11You've got a point there, Pop.
01:05:14I need a drink.
01:05:15Try an Aussie.
01:05:16Try it.
01:05:17Now, look,
01:05:18you're adding insult
01:05:19to injury now, mate,
01:05:20so watch it.
01:05:21Try an Aussie, he says.
01:05:22Best beer in the world, mate.
01:05:24Better than all your Belchers.
01:05:27Who are you then?
01:05:28Oh, allow me.
01:05:29This is Jumbo.
01:05:30Alf and Jeff.
01:05:31Hiya, Jumbo.
01:05:32Better than all the Belchers.
01:05:34Are you comparing
01:05:35this amateur mutt
01:05:37with the finest brew
01:05:38on the market?
01:05:39Belchers?
01:05:41Tater water.
01:05:44Tater?
01:05:46Now, listen, Mush.
01:05:47Beer ain't only my trade.
01:05:49It's my hobby
01:05:50and I belong
01:05:51and him
01:05:52to the finest bunch
01:05:53of beer connoisseurs
01:05:54in the world.
01:05:55Show him your badge, Pop.
01:05:56Yes, I will.
01:05:57Here.
01:05:58Read that.
01:05:59Fellows of the Lion...
01:06:01Lion and Unicorn
01:06:03Intimate Drinking Society.
01:06:05The fluids.
01:06:07Get our local lads
01:06:08that see you off
01:06:09any time.
01:06:10Drink them under the table.
01:06:13Did you hear that, Jeff?
01:06:14A challenge?
01:06:15Yeah, a drinking contest.
01:06:17Right.
01:06:18Aussies for us.
01:06:19Belchers for us.
01:06:21What do you say?
01:06:23You're on.
01:06:25A drinking contest
01:06:27and that sergeant
01:06:28just right in to pounce.
01:06:30Dear, dear, get off.
01:06:33You call yourself
01:06:34a licensed holder
01:06:35you're not fit
01:06:36to hold a raffle.
01:06:37I don't think you'll mind.
01:06:39And what about the Belchers?
01:06:40I suppose they was to walk in.
01:06:42You say that to me
01:06:44with six barrels of Aussie
01:06:45secreted in your guilty cellar.
01:06:47They might not see them
01:06:49but they couldn't miss your...
01:06:50Fluids!
01:06:52I shall say no more.
01:06:55If anybody wants me
01:06:56which I doubt
01:06:59I shall be with Jeff
01:07:00in the private bar.
01:07:01Doing what?
01:07:03Training.
01:07:11Hello.
01:07:12Hello, Eddie.
01:07:13How's the new scout troop?
01:07:14Gone home to have his dinner.
01:07:15Honestly, one recruit
01:07:16I might as well pack it in.
01:07:18Not on your life.
01:07:19Did Columbus pack it in?
01:07:20What about the third Earl?
01:07:21It took him 30 years
01:07:22to perfect the formula
01:07:23for the Osborne brew.
01:07:24Go on.
01:07:25But did he give up?
01:07:26No.
01:07:27And where was the answer?
01:07:28I'll tell you.
01:07:29In here.
01:07:30Pump water?
01:07:31Spring water.
01:07:32A type found only
01:07:33in these ear pipes.
01:07:34Without it
01:07:35I couldn't make my beer.
01:07:36Is it what you're doing now?
01:07:37That's right.
01:07:38Life is one long brew
01:07:39these days.
01:07:40Your mother's a proper
01:07:41slave driver, isn't she?
01:07:42She wants every drop
01:07:43I can make.
01:07:44Why don't you expand?
01:07:45You could make yourself
01:07:46a fortune.
01:07:47How can I
01:07:48find another spring for you?
01:07:49Here, I know something
01:07:50about water defining.
01:07:51It's easy.
01:07:52There's water everywhere.
01:07:53Great, great works
01:07:54on the artesian principle.
01:07:55Eddie, you do that.
01:07:56Lovely.
01:07:57Yes, yes.
01:07:58Fine, fine.
01:07:59I'll find water for you.
01:08:02Ha, ha, ha, ha.
01:08:06Oh.
01:08:07Yes.
01:08:09Yeah.
01:08:10Ah, Belcher.
01:08:11No, he's not here,
01:08:12Gaskin, old chap.
01:08:14He's gone out.
01:08:16Where?
01:08:17He's gone over
01:08:18to the Osmond.
01:08:19What are you so keen on?
01:08:21He's gone down
01:08:22to the Osmond.
01:08:23Yes, sir?
01:08:24Get my car
01:08:25as quick as you can.
01:08:27It's time I took
01:08:28a hand myself.
01:08:41Now?
01:08:48Now.
01:09:12Should I come now, Pop?
01:09:13Good.
01:09:20Hello, Fred.
01:09:21Hello, Alfred.
01:09:22Yes, surely, boys.
01:09:24Lovely to see you again.
01:09:26Sam, just wait
01:09:27for the enemy.
01:09:28Hello, Eddie.
01:09:30Here, Ida's over here.
01:09:31Oh, Ida.
01:09:32Hello.
01:09:34Hello, Eddie.
01:09:35I never knew you
01:09:36was a fluid.
01:09:37No, I'm not really speaking,
01:09:38but someone's got
01:09:39to drive them back.
01:09:40I see.
01:09:41Well, come on through, then.
01:09:43Oh, since I am here,
01:09:44I might as well give you
01:09:45a hand with that.
01:09:49Eddie,
01:09:50why aren't we
01:09:51water divining again tonight?
01:09:54Can't.
01:09:55Dad wants me to be a steward
01:09:56at his drinking contest.
01:09:57Eddie?
01:09:59There he goes.
01:10:00Coming!
01:10:12Jeff, I shall need you
01:10:13on my right hand.
01:10:14Charlie, over here.
01:10:15Sam, you're right there.
01:10:16Fred,
01:10:17first reserve, mate.
01:10:18Eddie?
01:10:19Yes, Dad.
01:10:20Charge the pups
01:10:21for the first round.
01:10:21Right.
01:10:37Now, gentlemen,
01:10:38eyes down
01:10:39for a good, clean booze-up.
01:10:41Eddie?
01:10:44Gentlemen,
01:10:45I give you
01:10:47the first
01:10:48Burgermeister.
01:10:49The first
01:10:50Burgermeister.
01:10:52He's on the move.
01:10:54Which way is he moving?
01:10:56Two to the right.
01:10:57Two to the right.
01:11:02Three to the left.
01:11:03Three to the left.
01:11:10One to the right.
01:11:11One to the right.
01:11:15And down
01:11:16to the basement.
01:11:17Please!
01:11:33Eddie?
01:11:34Yes, Dad?
01:11:36Second round.
01:11:37Coming up, Dad.
01:11:43All set?
01:11:46I've mixed up
01:11:47all the beer pipes
01:11:48in the cellar, too.
01:11:49Good man.
01:11:50I'll go get the sergeant
01:11:51at once.
01:11:52One to the right.
01:11:53One to the right.
01:11:57And one to the left.
01:11:59One to the left.
01:12:02And down
01:12:03to the basement.
01:12:15Pop!
01:12:16Look!
01:12:18That's a foul.
01:12:19That's...
01:12:20No, no.
01:12:21We're not counting that.
01:12:22Set him up again, Eddie.
01:12:24I can't.
01:12:25He's out cold.
01:12:27He's...
01:12:30So be it.
01:12:32Dressed.
01:12:33Right.
01:12:36Eddie?
01:12:40What's Charlie's mug?
01:12:44I can see we've got to
01:12:45watch this lot here.
01:12:47You're not kidding.
01:12:49Now, the beer pumps
01:12:50is simple.
01:12:52Look.
01:12:53This is the miles.
01:12:55This is the...
01:12:56That's funny.
01:12:58Well, they're all Aussie, eh?
01:12:59Dean!
01:13:00Yes, Mum?
01:13:02These beer pumps
01:13:03is all mixed up.
01:13:04Get down there
01:13:05and sort them out.
01:13:06We shan't know where we are.
01:13:07But, Dad...
01:13:08Hey, Dean!
01:13:09Move yourself!
01:13:11What has happened?
01:13:12Who's been messing
01:13:13about with them?
01:13:17Here, George.
01:13:18What are you doing?
01:13:19I found the spring water
01:13:20in our cellar.
01:13:22Don't be daft.
01:13:25Blimey, you're right.
01:13:26Here, give us that bar.
01:13:27It'll only be a trickle.
01:13:33Oh!
01:13:35What are we to do now?
01:13:37Blimey, well,
01:13:38don't just stand there.
01:13:39Get something to put in it.
01:13:40Oh!
01:13:46Oh!
01:13:53The seventh vision, master.
01:13:56Do you mind?
01:13:57When moon be blue
01:13:59and black be white,
01:14:01have none to the left
01:14:03because I'm all right.
01:14:06Oh!
01:14:12Oh!
01:14:18Oh!
01:14:22Just I'll get them in there.
01:14:24Still, I don't suppose it...
01:14:26The boss!
01:14:28What have I done
01:14:29to deserve this?
01:14:31Well, this is a nice surprise.
01:14:33Good evening, Mrs. Larkins.
01:14:34Good evening, Mr. John.
01:14:35I just popped down
01:14:36to see what you're up to.
01:14:37Have you?
01:14:38Hmm.
01:14:39Not very busy
01:14:40for a Saturday evening, is it?
01:14:41Well, never mind.
01:14:42I expect it'll liven up later.
01:14:43I'm sure it will.
01:14:45Let's go down
01:14:46to the private bar, shall we?
01:14:47Must we?
01:14:49Mrs. Larkins,
01:14:50is there anything going on here
01:14:51that I don't know about?
01:14:52No!
01:14:53Why should there be?
01:14:55Well, that's what I've come
01:14:56down here to find out.
01:14:57Oh!
01:14:58Oh!
01:15:00I had my suspicions, of course,
01:15:01but, uh,
01:15:02you know of nothing?
01:15:03No, of course not.
01:15:05Geronimo!
01:15:09What was that?
01:15:11The local amateur
01:15:12dramatic society.
01:15:14My husband organized it.
01:15:15Hold on, I'll organize him.
01:15:17No, no, don't disturb him.
01:15:19Amateur dramatic society, eh?
01:15:21So that's how you've been
01:15:22promoting the local interest.
01:15:23What a jolly good idea.
01:15:25You know,
01:15:26we thought perhaps
01:15:27you were getting in
01:15:28some rowdy company.
01:15:29I thought you were getting
01:15:30in some rowdy coach parties.
01:15:31Ah!
01:15:34Well, here we are again.
01:15:36Excuse me.
01:15:38Keep that coach party
01:15:39out of here.
01:15:40Tell them we're closed.
01:15:41We're not!
01:15:42Shh!
01:15:43Then keep them quiet
01:15:44and only serve Belgium beer.
01:15:45Come on, ladies and gents,
01:15:46this way.
01:15:47If that lot get at the Aussie,
01:15:48they'll go stark raving mad.
01:15:49Is pump all right now?
01:15:53Water?
01:15:54What is Eddie up to?
01:15:57Eddie!
01:15:59What is all this?
01:16:01It's water.
01:16:02I couldn't see that,
01:16:03but where's it coming from?
01:16:05Out of this hole.
01:16:07I wasn't your mother, I promise.
01:16:09Well, do what you can.
01:16:10I'll get a plumber.
01:16:14What was that?
01:16:15As if we hadn't got
01:16:16enough on our hands.
01:16:17We've got a flood in the cellar.
01:16:19All we need now
01:16:20is an earthquake.
01:16:22No, please,
01:16:23I didn't mean that.
01:16:24How good evening.
01:16:25Find a bit of music.
01:16:26You will keep quiet tonight, won't you?
01:16:28We've just been made
01:16:29a noiseless zone.
01:16:30Ha, ha, ha, ha!
01:16:33Mrs. Larkins,
01:16:34get me a half a mile, will you?
01:16:35We've got an airlock in the pump.
01:16:37Have a whiskey.
01:16:43On the house.
01:16:44Oh, that's very kind of you.
01:16:46Well, well, well.
01:16:48Just passing?
01:16:49Not exactly.
01:16:50You're wasting your time.
01:16:52Am I?
01:16:53Jeff, mate.
01:16:56I'm here, Pop, I'm here.
01:16:58I'll have another Aussie.
01:17:00Another Aussie.
01:17:03Here.
01:17:04What do you put in this stuff?
01:17:06Lighter fuel?
01:17:07Gaskin, for the last time,
01:17:09I'm not selling.
01:17:10Now, look, Belcher,
01:17:11why keep up this stubborn attitude?
01:17:13Now, all it needs
01:17:14is for our two signatures
01:17:15on this document.
01:17:22Leek?
01:17:24I don't know what you're talking about.
01:17:27Extraordinary fellow.
01:17:28Must be a gardener.
01:17:29Look.
01:17:46Hello, Sergeant, mate.
01:17:48And what can we do for you then, mate?
01:17:50To have a pint of bitter beer.
01:17:52With pleasure, Sergeant.
01:17:55To drink?
01:17:56No.
01:17:57To examine.
01:18:09It's a...
01:18:11It's a nice pencil you've got there, innit?
01:18:12Nice, the pencil.
01:18:14Belcher, if you just realize
01:18:15how simple the hoof...
01:18:27Hello.
01:18:29I've been coming in there.
01:18:31Floyd's gone away.
01:18:33Floyd's gone away.
01:18:39I wonder what play
01:18:40they could be rehearsing.
01:18:45Any letters for me postman?
01:18:56Are you going to give me back
01:18:57that notebook and game of sandals?
01:18:58No.
01:18:59Or am I going to prefer
01:19:00an additional charge?
01:19:08Marvellous!
01:19:19Something fishy going on here.
01:19:21Oi, you.
01:19:23Same again.
01:19:25Another one?
01:19:42Oh, stop it!
01:19:50Why can't you keep quiet in here?
01:19:51I told you not to give me Aussie.
01:19:53They all taste the same to me.
01:19:55You wait till I get my hands on Alf.
01:19:57Sitting in there,
01:19:58swilling beer
01:19:59and us brushed over our feet in here.
01:20:01I am going in there.
01:20:02I won't get beer
01:20:03if he's still conscious.
01:20:04My Sam usually reacts
01:20:05to a bucket of water.
01:20:06No.
01:20:12All right, Yvette,
01:20:13I'll handle this.
01:20:15Now,
01:20:16you're going to break this up.
01:20:17Do you hear me?
01:20:20Ada.
01:20:21Do you hear me?
01:20:23Ada!
01:20:24Are you going to defy me?
01:20:27Yes.
01:20:28What?
01:20:29Now you have gone too far.
01:20:34And as for you,
01:20:35if I had no promise to marry you,
01:20:37I would never speak to you again.
01:20:41Bye.
01:20:43Where is your Norman blood for you?
01:20:48Here.
01:20:49Goldilocks.
01:20:51Will you give in?
01:20:54Never.
01:20:59Right.
01:21:01All right then.
01:21:0315,000.
01:21:04Gaskin,
01:21:05if this goes on much longer...
01:21:06You'll be forced to sell me the pub
01:21:07to get rid of me.
01:21:09That's what I'm afraid of.
01:21:13It's him against us.
01:21:15We're outnumbered.
01:21:17You're right.
01:21:19I do hope I'm not intruding.
01:21:22Hello, Mr. June.
01:21:24Oh, come and...
01:21:25Do you mind, Sam?
01:21:27Come and sit down, mate.
01:21:29Come and join the happy...
01:21:32boat.
01:21:34Now, you know the rules, don't you?
01:21:35Never mind.
01:21:36You'll soon pick them up.
01:21:37What rules?
01:21:38All things can be.
01:21:40Simplificy.
01:21:42Soon pick them up.
01:21:43Soon pick them up.
01:21:44Sit down, mate.
01:21:45Make yourself comfortable.
01:21:49Is he with you?
01:21:50No.
01:21:51Well, you can join in an order, then, mate.
01:21:53Sit down.
01:21:55Yes.
01:21:56The moral of the...
01:21:58Moraria.
01:21:59That's the affair.
01:22:01He's right.
01:22:02Ah.
01:22:03Oh, you can be on his side.
01:22:04There you are.
01:22:05Go on, Aussie.
01:22:06Now, what number Burgermeister was it?
01:22:08If you mind.
01:22:09Thank you very much.
01:22:10Excuse me.
01:22:11Oh, you wait till I get my hands
01:22:13on my husband.
01:22:14Stupid.
01:22:15Here, don't take mine.
01:22:16I say,
01:22:17what are you going to do
01:22:18when you get the new road?
01:22:19You'll be like this every night.
01:22:21New road?
01:22:22Yes.
01:22:23It's in the papers.
01:22:24Look.
01:22:25Ah.
01:22:27Help!
01:22:29Oh, now, what do you want?
01:22:31Ah.
01:22:32I have reason to believe
01:22:33you're watering the field.
01:22:34Don't talk tripe.
01:22:35Look, I'm on urgency.
01:22:36So am I.
01:22:37I'm going to inspect your cellar.
01:22:38No!
01:22:39What's the matter?
01:22:40Go on.
01:22:41Mr. Belcher's selling a pub.
01:22:42Don't let him sign nothing.
01:22:43Oi!
01:22:44All right.
01:22:4520,000 pounds.
01:22:47Now, that's my last offer.
01:22:48Take it or leave it.
01:22:4920,000?
01:22:50Dammit, I'll take that.
01:22:52Done.
01:22:53Sign there.
01:22:54Right.
01:22:55Mr. John, don't!
01:22:56Jeff,
01:22:57document will advance
01:22:58to the right.
01:23:00To the right!
01:23:01Yes, boy.
01:23:02To the right!
01:23:03Look, will you give me back
01:23:04that document?
01:23:05Look, Mr. John,
01:23:06I want to show you something.
01:23:07I don't want to see it.
01:23:08To the left!
01:23:09Do to me.
01:23:10To the left!
01:23:11It's too far.
01:23:12Look.
01:23:13Ah, got it.
01:23:15Hey!
01:23:16Mr. John, look.
01:23:19What's this?
01:23:22Gaskin?
01:23:25Yes, well, uh,
01:23:27I must be running along now,
01:23:28gentlemen.
01:23:29Ah.
01:23:32Ah.
01:23:35Oh!
01:23:36Oh!
01:23:37Oh!
01:23:38Oh!
01:23:39Oh!
01:23:40Oh!
01:23:41Oh!
01:23:44Did you put something
01:23:45in his drink?
01:23:46Oh, it doesn't need
01:23:47anything.
01:23:51Oh, Mr. John,
01:23:52he hasn't bought it.
01:23:53No, no, it was on the house.
01:23:56It's like a battlefield,
01:23:57isn't it?
01:23:58Well, thanks to you,
01:23:59Mr. Larkins,
01:24:00we seem to have saved
01:24:01the situation.
01:24:02I think I owe you
01:24:03an apology.
01:24:04Not at all, Mr. John.
01:24:05And you owe me
01:24:06an explanation.
01:24:07Do I?
01:24:08Yes.
01:24:09This Aussie beer,
01:24:10where does it come from?
01:24:12Who brews it?
01:24:13Any one of ours.
01:24:15Very well, it isn't.
01:24:18But it will be,
01:24:19if I can buy the formula.
01:24:20Hold on!
01:24:21Bill!
01:24:24You've got plenty
01:24:25of time for that later.
01:24:27He wants to buy your beer.
01:24:29Go in there
01:24:30and drive a hard bargain.
01:24:41And in exchange,
01:24:42you will get
01:24:43the Osborne formula.
01:24:45Blimey!
01:24:46Where are we going to get
01:24:47the spring water from?
01:24:48Down in our cellar.
01:24:49We're flooded with it.
01:24:53I've got one,
01:24:54I've got one,
01:24:55I've got one!
01:24:56That's not a scissor,
01:24:57it's a bottle top.
01:24:58Oh, look at yourself, David!
01:25:01I wonder where
01:25:02that sergeant's got to.
01:25:04Oh, well.
01:25:05Time, gentlemen,
01:25:06haven't you got no home?
01:25:11Oh, well, stay all night,
01:25:12he won't care.
01:25:19We've won!
01:25:20Mr. John, we've won!
01:25:22Victory for the Flags!
01:25:24Aye, aye!
01:25:29My darling,
01:25:30you've won the contest for us!
01:25:32Victory for the Flags!
01:25:36He's a mother proud,
01:25:37he's a mother proud,
01:25:40He's a mother proud,
01:25:41he's a mother proud,
01:25:43He's a mother proud,
01:25:44he's a mother proud,
01:25:46He's a mother proud,
01:25:47he's a mother proud,
01:25:49He's a mother proud,
01:25:50he's a mother proud,
01:25:52He's a mother proud,
01:25:53he's a mother proud,
01:25:54He's a mother proud,
01:25:55he's a mother proud,
01:25:56He's a mother proud,
01:25:57he's a mother proud,
01:25:58He's a mother proud,
01:25:59he's a mother proud,
01:26:00He's a mother proud,
01:26:01He's a mother proud,
01:26:02He's a mother proud,
01:26:03He's a mother proud,
01:26:04He's a mother proud,
01:26:05He's a mother proud,
01:26:06He's a mother proud,
01:26:07He's a mother proud,
01:26:08He's a mother proud,
01:26:09He's a mother proud,
01:26:10He's a mother proud,
01:26:11He's a mother proud,
01:26:12He's a mother proud,
01:26:13He's a mother proud,
01:26:14He's a mother proud,
01:26:15He's a mother proud,
01:26:16He's a mother proud,
01:26:17He's a mother proud,
01:26:18He's a mother proud,
01:26:19He's a mother proud,
01:26:20He's a mother proud,
01:26:21He's a mother proud,
01:26:22He's a mother proud,
01:26:23He's a mother proud,
01:26:24He's a mother proud,
01:26:25He's a mother proud,
01:26:26He's a mother proud,
01:26:27He's a mother proud,
01:26:28He's a mother proud,
01:26:29He's a mother proud,
01:26:30He's a mother proud,
01:26:31He's a mother proud,
01:26:32He's a mother proud,
01:26:33He's a mother proud,
01:26:34He's a mother proud,