Shevernatze Un Angel Corrupto Película de Comedia completa en español latino
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00:00:00You
00:00:30Need help
00:01:00Oh
00:01:30Oh
00:02:00Oh
00:02:30Oh
00:02:48Come here we go
00:02:57No se puede
00:03:00Oh
00:03:30No que les alcanza los esquilos que le pedí eso que es
00:03:37Me lo paso por los cojones entiendes a ti y a money got a
00:03:53Era un nokia 510
00:04:00Oh
00:04:09Son unos aparatos odiosos
00:04:20También
00:04:24Pero porque no puedes estrenar el ligero amarillo que yo te regalé
00:04:30Mejor ocasión que esta no hay tú sabes tú sabes la cantidad de pasta que yo me gasto en estos chinos para que lo pongas
00:05:01Y
00:05:14Bueno de verdad para ella tengo que corregir 30 exámenes a ver lo que me pongo no sé lo que me haga sentir a mí
00:05:18Más segura
00:05:20un momento momento
00:05:22Yo confío en ti vale que tenemos que decir si hay mal rollo
00:05:26Lo que falta es y él otra vez hoy lo que falta es hielo
00:05:38Estoy harta de que pasen mujer me trató como si fuera la estérica
00:05:55Ah
00:06:07Maria tengo que hablar contigo maria
00:06:16Que hay una cosa que no sabes que me acaban de decir escucha a mí
00:06:22Somos cuatro españoles
00:06:25Y
00:06:27María podemos hablar
00:06:34Jonas va a ver que llover mejor que cuando ni 5 1 4 5 3 4 2 4 sido seleccionado por ser campeón de europa
00:06:42Te lo crees ahora
00:06:47Vente a lisboa que te cuesta que me cuesta
00:06:55Es que todo mi dinero me queda con mis mejores años
00:06:58futuro
00:07:01Yo creo que ya vale no por hablar del dinero de mi madre donde está el dinero de mi madre donde está el dinero de mi
00:07:06madre
00:07:09Que mañana tienes con lo de la cojera
00:07:13Mira que tengas suerte pero me importa una mierda tu campeonato del mundo me importa una mierda tu récord guinness
00:07:19como de los caracoles
00:07:212.000 euros en caracoles
00:07:24Y ni siquiera lo va a distraer
00:07:27Hasta cuando vas a estar rastreando menos de los caracoles
00:07:32Y se fue por culpa del notario que se durmió joder y lo sabes maría
00:07:37además que importa eso ahora
00:07:39esta vez me la juego de verdad tengo una oportunidad
00:07:41mira
00:07:43si se estrella la avioneta
00:07:45se acabó porque se acabe
00:07:47y así terminas con tus delirios que son son como pedos que te vas tirando y no hay dios con los aguante
00:07:54Eso
00:08:01También por lo menos a la muleta onda
00:08:07Yo que se dónde está la muleta ahora
00:08:10La cadena ni lo sueñes y eso
00:08:16Como el calvo ese que te viene a buscar no ese también está bañado en oro
00:08:21Quien es vale vale no es asunto mío pero tengo derecho a saberlo es un amigo ya te lo he dicho
00:08:32Te lo has tirado ya
00:08:36Me voy
00:08:38vengo a desearte suerte gracias gracias la verdad es que
00:08:42se agradece que cuando uno va a hacer algo
00:08:45importante en fin que alguien se interese que tal lo llevas bien muy bien con una mente
00:08:50la verdad es que me van a hacer bueno yo mismo me voy a hacer un reportaje y
00:08:55bien tengo un patrocinador que me paga toda la gasolina del vuelo y ayer es ayer tirabuzón cangrejo por última vez sin problemas
00:09:01tirabuzón cangrejo si es una figura acrobática que he inventado yo mismo nunca se había intentado la historia de la aviación moderna
00:09:09pero eso debe ser como muy peligroso no
00:09:12hombre la verdad es que sí que uno se la juega porque mira imagínate
00:09:17que está pilotando a media altura
00:09:20Elevas el morro y pones toda la potencia en torno a 16.000 vueltas hasta que alcanza la altura crítica el techo del aparato
00:09:27peligro ahí es cuando hay que tener dos cojones para mantenerse firme los mandos es cuando más solo y desconcertado estás
00:09:36Bueno porque tras un momento de ingravidez el avión va hacia atrás como si retrocediera con un tirabuzón pero hacia atrás
00:09:44y eso porque le he puesto contrapesos de cola
00:09:46Figúrate una ligera brisa y se acabó la excursión
00:09:51pues te digo que a pesar de lo sólo que te encuentras en esos momentos
00:09:55cuando tu cabeza está ahí arriba
00:10:00Que se siente cuando tu cabeza está allí arriba
00:10:09Sí
00:10:10Sí sí exacto yo lo tenía pagado si es el mismo
00:10:17de perros del mundo el 14 el gran danés
00:10:22pero pero para qué quiero pero si el coche ya le tengo es el de esta semana
00:10:28Si vale de acuerdo hasta luego
00:10:32Putas
00:10:35Jonas
00:10:37Ya sabes que los jefes estamos para lo bueno y para lo malo hay veces que para lo bueno y hay veces que para lo
00:10:43malo y hay que dar la cara un jefe siempre tiene que dar la cara
00:10:47no hace falta que te diga el momento que estamos pasando
00:10:50así que la gente está como loca todo el mundo por los camiones autobuses es la hostia
00:10:57José Luis me ha llamado de esta tarde tiene 15 días más de baja y ojo puta
00:11:01y nada que no tengo a nadie para el c2
00:11:04Pues eso jonas que no te vas y que no te vas por una vez no me seas pasado vamos a ver pendele
00:11:11si es el campeonato de europa llevo un año entrenando
00:11:16o sea es que tengo que ir
00:11:18imposible vamos te estoy hablando como un amigo
00:11:22bastante jodido es para que te pongas así escucha mi momento pendele el lunes por la mañana aquí como un clavo y si no
00:11:29puerta llamaría a la vez a partir de las 8
00:11:33Pero que me estas contando pendele
00:11:36por muy jodido que te parezca no es una de las faenas que te suelo hacer de vez en cuando
00:11:41escúchame un momento que no es una servición de feria
00:11:45no me puedes hacer esta putada pendele
00:11:49El día que seas jefe
00:11:52El día que seas jefe
00:11:57Vete
00:12:00Pero que cojones que has creído que eres
00:12:03Acaso te haces una idea de la cantidad de horas y la de pasta que me ha tenido que gastar para poder pilotar así
00:12:10si
00:12:12sí pero vamos a ver tan difíciles
00:12:16pero para qué quiero yo el farcículo del gran danés escrito en alemán
00:12:21porque en alemán
00:12:24Joder ustedes nunca se preocupan por la gente adiós
00:13:29No
00:13:59So
00:14:29Oh
00:14:59What's going on?
00:15:01Isn't it the game?
00:15:03No, I'm going to open the back door
00:15:05What's up?
00:15:29I
00:15:59Oh
00:16:29Oh
00:16:59La, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la
00:17:29la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la
00:17:59César Alonso
00:18:12le
00:18:20And now it's time to say goodbye to all the fans who have been with us for so many years.
00:18:25And now it's time to say goodbye to all the fans who have been with us for so many years.
00:18:30And now it's time to say goodbye to all the fans who have been with us for so many years.
00:18:35And now it's time to say goodbye to all the fans who have been with us for so many years.
00:18:40And now it's time to say goodbye to all the fans who have been with us for so many years.
00:18:45The Spanish team has been eliminated.
00:18:48Goodbye, Saúl Sotevall.
00:18:51Goodbye, Álvaro Copa.
00:18:53We are good.
00:18:56The face of desolation of Iain Sáenz.
00:18:58The face of desolation of most Spanish players.
00:19:01He is lamenting in tears.
00:19:04He is practically crying, Emilio Torres.
00:19:15What a shitty roulotte.
00:19:38The photos they sent us inside looked like the one we saw last night.
00:19:41They were like peasants.
00:19:42You should have taken the ones from Barcelona, which seemed more normal.
00:19:44But you didn't say he was very hairy.
00:19:46You're selfish. In the end, we all do it the way you want.
00:19:48Hey, please, let's not start.
00:19:49Your wife would do it.
00:19:50Well, leave my wife alone now, don't get her out now, poor thing, leave her alone.
00:19:53You could do it with a whore and it would be the same.
00:19:56Fuck you.
00:19:58You can't say anything, huh?
00:20:01Fuck, it's not the same being here, you have to imagine it.
00:20:04A car is coming, a car is coming.
00:20:10Why are you crouching?
00:20:11Why are you crouching?
00:20:12I don't know why you're crouching.
00:20:19Dear listeners, welcome to Un Ángel Correcto.
00:20:23The radio show dedicated to the lovers of knowledge
00:20:28who sail in the lonely neighborhood of the night,
00:20:30working, studying, driving,
00:20:34or simply enjoying our warm company
00:20:38before conciliating a soothing sleep.
00:20:42Un Ángel Correcto presents
00:20:47Hey, why don't you go?
00:20:49Look, Leo, sometimes you're really disgusting.
00:20:51Hey, and that cetrine character, why now?
00:20:53Look, the only good thing about being a whore is that you become more sincere.
00:20:55Hey, you're not a whore, María, fuck, you're not a whore.
00:20:57Everyone tells you, you know it.
00:21:00Fuck, it won't be that one.
00:21:04Fuck, you're so ugly.
00:21:05No, give him time, give him time, maybe he's nice.
00:21:08In any case, it doesn't matter.
00:21:10If he doesn't like it, we tell him about the ice and it's over.
00:21:13You remember, right? All that's missing is ice.
00:21:15You've said it 20 times.
00:21:16Well, there goes the 21st, all that's missing is ice.
00:21:23Hi, how are you?
00:21:25Are you here to see Nordin?
00:21:26Yes.
00:21:28Would you like a date?
00:21:29Sorry?
00:21:30Would you like a date?
00:21:31No, no, no, we're on our way.
00:21:33It is incredible the interest that the chat of last week is arousing
00:21:38about the Architeuthis, the giant squid,
00:21:42also nicknamed by mistake the Kraken.
00:21:45We will see many emails with doubts that we will continue to clarify
00:21:49about this fascinating giant cephalopod,
00:21:53whose existence no one in his right mind
00:21:56should put in the fabric of judgment to these scoundrels.
00:22:04The Architeuthis
00:22:10It's detaching!
00:22:13We continue to respond to emails.
00:22:16Lorena Mendiola from Madrid asks us,
00:22:19Is it true that an eye of the giant squid can be as big as a basketball?
00:22:25Well, Lorena,
00:22:27your eyes are the largest in the animal kingdom,
00:22:29reaching a diameter of 25 centimeters.
00:22:32The squid is a visual animal.
00:23:02The Architeuthis
00:23:25Good evening.
00:23:26Good evening.
00:23:33They are inventions of the ancient men of the sea
00:23:36to scare people,
00:23:38to maintain the existence of valuable confidential documents.
00:23:41Where are you going?
00:23:43Over there.
00:23:46Over there?
00:23:47Yes, yes, over there, over there.
00:23:52No, I'm going over there too.
00:23:57I need a mechanic.
00:23:59No, no, thank you.
00:24:01I don't want to see that car again in my life.
00:24:04I'll take a bus to Las Navas.
00:24:07I'm also going to go back for a mechanical problem of the gearbox.
00:24:12And since no one passes here, well...
00:24:16Ah.
00:24:18Yes.
00:24:21So?
00:24:23Do you want me to take you?
00:24:25No.
00:24:27You will see, the other option is that of San Fernando.
00:24:33Well.
00:24:34But he also makes his description of Medusa
00:24:36as a female monster
00:24:38that gets a lot of snakes out of his head
00:24:41with eyes of a terrible power
00:24:43that whoever looks at them is petrified.
00:24:46We are going to talk about this marine animal for a long time,
00:24:49but first, a musical pause with Carlos Mejía Godoy,
00:24:53his Libellan.
00:24:56Carlos Mejía Godoy's Libellan
00:25:00Libellan
00:25:02The ones who libellan me
00:25:06Are your perfumed women
00:25:09Are your perfumed women
00:25:13The ones who libellan me
00:25:16The ones who libellan me
00:25:20Are your perfumed women
00:25:24The first one in the front said,
00:25:26Spiridon Pichincha, and here it is.
00:25:29Do you like this song?
00:25:32Yes.
00:25:53Maria.
00:25:55Leo.
00:25:58Maria.
00:26:08Unless you are hungry and want to eat something in a restaurant,
00:26:11I suggest you get on my humble caravan
00:26:14and let's embark on an unforgettable journey.
00:26:22I present to you Jean Dira,
00:26:24who is going to prepare some pipes for us.
00:26:26But sit down, please.
00:26:28Make yourselves comfortable.
00:26:30This is your home.
00:26:34Don't you have a luggage?
00:26:37No, I'm going to Ávila's apostolic box.
00:26:48What's your name?
00:26:50Juan Ángel Capellán.
00:26:52I'm Conás Vargaño.
00:26:56I study the necropsies of dead calamari.
00:27:00We get along well.
00:27:09I take a long time to sleep.
00:27:11I listen to this radio every night.
00:27:13Both have fabulous stories.
00:27:17What was the name of yesterday's radio?
00:27:19El Monje y la Pularda.
00:27:21That one was good.
00:27:23A monk had a pularda
00:27:25and he loved it so much
00:27:27that he started sharing his lunch with her.
00:27:29But the pularda wanted more.
00:27:31So he let her eat first
00:27:34and he got satisfied with the leftovers.
00:27:37The pularda was getting fatter
00:27:39and the monk more and more squalid.
00:27:42A pularda is like a quail, right?
00:27:44A little bigger.
00:27:46The thing is that the pularda ate like a lima
00:27:48while the monk was starving.
00:27:50However,
00:27:52it never occurred to him
00:27:54to eat the pularda.
00:27:56When he was dying,
00:27:58they asked him,
00:28:00God's man,
00:28:02is a humble pularda worth more than your life?
00:28:05Didn't you make it fat to eat it?
00:28:07And the monk said,
00:28:09well,
00:28:11if it's a very honest sentence...
00:28:13No!
00:28:15No!
00:28:17And let it be before my eyes
00:28:19that I can be sure
00:28:21that I was wrong.
00:28:23Yes, sir. Exactly.
00:28:25How do you interpret it?
00:28:27That we all have a pularda inside.
00:28:30That's true.
00:28:51I've never been a believer,
00:29:20but in the end,
00:29:22there's no other way.
00:29:24That's how life is for me.
00:29:26I mean, that's how it is for me.
00:29:28Either someone manages things,
00:29:30or not.
00:29:32I think so.
00:29:34I mean, there's a cat in the room.
00:29:36I don't give a shit about this mess.
00:29:41What do you mean?
00:29:44What just happened to us a moment ago.
00:29:46The pularda.
00:29:49Coincidences.
00:29:51I'll give you a clearer example.
00:29:53Imagine you go to Helsinki.
00:29:57You enter a restaurant,
00:29:59and boom!
00:30:01You find your neighbor.
00:30:03Coincidence?
00:30:05No?
00:30:07Coincidence?
00:30:09No.
00:30:11It's those times when you notice
00:30:13that your neighbor has been put there
00:30:15by someone for a reason.
00:30:17Like Bernatche.
00:30:19Bernatche is that thing
00:30:21that moves strings,
00:30:23that makes signals.
00:30:25But if you see your neighbor in Helsinki,
00:30:27I mean, you have to know how to see the signals.
00:30:29Well, of course.
00:30:31I've never seen any signal.
00:30:33And like me, there will be thousands of people
00:30:35who have never seen a signal.
00:30:39Do you know why I like
00:30:41the song so much from before?
00:30:44It reminds me of my wife.
00:30:46She was Galician.
00:30:49She died with my three daughters
00:30:51in the 1994 riot.
00:30:54Damn, I'm so sorry.
00:30:56What I'm going to do tomorrow,
00:30:58deep down, is for her.
00:31:01What are you going to do?
00:31:03Tomorrow our mortgage ends.
00:31:05The house we bought
00:31:07when we got married.
00:31:09We had always talked about
00:31:11being together that day.
00:31:17Look, Juan Ángel,
00:31:19I have to confess something to you.
00:31:21You see, the car is perfectly fine.
00:31:23I'm going to go back to Avila
00:31:25because I feel like it.
00:31:27Well,
00:31:29for a woman.
00:31:31Look, look how stupid.
00:31:33It's just that...
00:31:36Look.
00:31:38No, no.
00:31:40When you feel the passion
00:31:42to do something,
00:31:44you're alive.
00:32:06Yes.
00:32:08Yes.
00:32:17In all species it's the same.
00:32:19We are always the males
00:32:21who split our horns
00:32:23to impress the females.
00:32:25Or like that bird
00:32:27that puffs its mouth
00:32:29like a beach ball.
00:32:31Have you noticed?
00:32:33No, no, no.
00:32:35If you feel you have to do it,
00:32:37you have to do it.
00:32:46There it goes.
00:32:48Sorry, I hadn't noticed
00:32:50and I didn't want to immortalize
00:32:52this moment.
00:33:03I'm sorry.
00:33:23When I was in this mass,
00:33:25I was worse than...
00:33:27Why Avila?
00:33:29Why go back?
00:33:31I had to go through
00:33:33Avila's wall to go back.
00:33:35I thought if I was the first
00:33:37to do...
00:33:39I don't know, it was an impulse.
00:33:41Really.
00:33:43How beautiful.
00:33:45Avila.
00:33:47Like an egg.
00:33:49And you coming in
00:33:51like a spermatozoid
00:33:53to compose a new life.
00:34:02Have you ever dreamed of being famous?
00:34:05Once I was on TV.
00:34:07Really?
00:34:09And in a beauty pageant.
00:34:11No way.
00:34:13But a long time ago.
00:34:15No, it was about six months.
00:34:19In public.
00:34:21They paid 50 euros
00:34:23and they focused me.
00:34:26I'm here.
00:34:36I'm not from here or anywhere.
00:34:38I own everything,
00:34:40but I never have anything.
00:34:45Look, I'm very honest.
00:34:47I want you to be different
00:34:49when you leave.
00:34:51I want you to be happy.
00:34:53And I offer myself as a humble guide
00:34:55for a mental journey.
00:34:57From mental openness to pleasure.
00:34:59We're leaving.
00:35:01Maria, what about the ice?
00:35:03Wait, no.
00:35:05Okay, okay.
00:35:11Hey, what's this about psychos?
00:35:15Psychophonies.
00:35:17You forgot to listen to them.
00:35:19Psychophonies.
00:35:21Okay.
00:35:41The funny thing is that it's recorded in Belgium,
00:35:43even though they speak Spanish.
00:35:45Yeah, but what does it say?
00:35:47Try the table again.
00:35:49No.
00:35:51It says something like,
00:35:53stay away from the mass.
00:35:55Really?
00:35:57I don't know, maybe you're right,
00:35:59but listen to this one again.
00:36:07Look, this is my favorite.
00:36:09It's exactly what I was telling you before.
00:36:11I was shocked because
00:36:13apparently they recorded it
00:36:15in a spiritual session
00:36:17and they asked him,
00:36:19the American asked him,
00:36:21what does God expect from us?
00:36:23Look.
00:36:25What does God expect him?
00:36:31I'll give you the answer.
00:36:37Svernache.
00:36:39Svernache.
00:36:47You, come here!
00:36:49Hang up!
00:36:51What do you say?
00:36:53You can't hit Svernache, damn it!
00:36:55There was a guy who got drunk, damn it!
00:36:57Damn it!
00:36:59It was a guy, damn it!
00:37:11I need a drink.
00:37:17I need a drink.
00:37:47Look what wonders I have here!
00:37:49My God, so much variety.
00:37:51Where did you buy them?
00:37:53In Amsterdam.
00:37:55You don't miss them that much, do you, Maria?
00:37:57Where are you from, Nordim?
00:37:59Do you know the desert?
00:38:01From Damascus.
00:38:03But I grew up in Capri, Salamanca,
00:38:05I studied in Zurich,
00:38:07and now I'm here.
00:38:09But the best thing about my country...
00:38:11Excuse me, but where are we going?
00:38:13Do you want to let me finish
00:38:15You're drunk, man!
00:38:17You're very drunk!
00:38:19Enjoy it!
00:38:21Is it true, Leo? Enjoy it?
00:38:23I mean, ice is important to me.
00:38:25Damn, you're heavy with ice, aren't you?
00:38:27You're very hard, Leo.
00:38:29You're very hard, and you convey that.
00:38:31What's the matter? Look, Maria is calm.
00:38:33Maria is calm.
00:38:35What's the matter, man?
00:38:37Ice is a key.
00:38:39Do you want to get drunk?
00:38:41Aren't you calm?
00:38:43No, I'm very calm.
00:38:45But I don't know where we're going.
00:38:47What are you looking for?
00:38:49What are you looking for?
00:38:51I look at you and behind you
00:38:53I suddenly see Boitila.
00:38:55You come here looking for sex
00:38:57and you come with Boitila.
00:38:59But what does Boitila have to do with it?
00:39:01Well, another glass of champagne?
00:39:03I'm going to have another glass.
00:39:05Let's look for more ice.
00:39:13Let's go.
00:39:21No, Juan Ángel.
00:39:23Thanks for the encouragement.
00:39:25I feel understood, really, but I can't go on.
00:39:27My neck hurts, I'm sleepy.
00:39:29And a guy almost killed me.
00:39:31He looked like an animal.
00:39:33He lost a person, I swear.
00:39:35A very fat guy, too.
00:39:39Can you imagine that I kill a poor man?
00:39:43I don't know how you want me to go on.
00:39:57Give me the car keys.
00:39:59I have to do something.
00:40:13I have to do something.
00:40:31Jonas is such a beast.
00:40:33Once, at school,
00:40:35he ate all the tails of an ashtray
00:40:37to impress me.
00:40:39Who hasn't done that for a woman?
00:40:41But why doesn't anyone believe
00:40:43what you say about the ashtray?
00:40:45How did you find out?
00:40:47The day we broke up.
00:40:49Jonas brought me breakfast
00:40:51to my bed,
00:40:53and that day I found out
00:40:55it had been an ashtray all my life.
00:40:59Said the poet Sag Tavad.
00:41:01Walking is innocuous.
00:41:03Only the one who runs away walks.
00:41:05Stay still.
00:41:11A few hours later.
00:41:13Give me a cigarette, man.
00:41:17Maria, I'm leaving.
00:41:41Sorry.
00:41:43We have to close now, okay?
00:42:01Jonas,
00:42:03I'm sorry I'm leaving without saying goodbye,
00:42:05but I'm disappointed.
00:42:07And I don't want to wait here
00:42:09to see you collapse.
00:42:13Look, I'm many years old,
00:42:15and I can assure you
00:42:17that life is waiting for death,
00:42:19unless you rebel.
00:42:21That gives you character.
00:42:23It gives you blood.
00:42:25And sometimes,
00:42:27sometimes something as wonderful
00:42:29as what we're going through
00:42:31is what gives you strength.
00:42:33And sometimes,
00:42:35sometimes something as wonderful
00:42:37as what you were doing
00:42:39changes your life forever.
00:42:41You have to fight.
00:42:43I hope this message
00:42:45is one of those signs.
00:42:49Fight, Jonas!
00:42:53It's Buscebernacchi!
00:43:05It's Buscebernacchi!
00:43:25Hold it,
00:43:27stay still.
00:43:29I have something important to tell you.
00:43:356 months, just 6 months and a week without paying the mortgage and they already want to
00:43:54execute the house, I also hear the inner voice, you know, he has told me loud and clear,
00:44:05the branch of the apostolic box smells and when they tell me to deposit the
00:44:14metal objects in the boxes, I find out simply by
00:44:18saying that we are going to go back, what you hear, you have to do it, so it was written
00:44:37and now in fables of all times of the poet zaktaval the fable of the fox and the lion
00:44:46there was once a lion who was hungry and wanting to find an occasion to eat he asked the sheep
00:44:55what his breath was like and the sheep answered the truth telling him that very stinky the lion
00:45:04pretending to be offended gave him a strong blow to the head and killed him saying you know why I
00:45:13believe that the rich always invite a poor man to their parties
00:45:19and then he asked the lion if his breath smelled good and the goat seeing how bad he had taken it
00:45:30with the sheep, he replied that his breath was wonderful, the garbanzos, how much do I feel like I have to leave them
00:45:39all my childhood has been linked to the garbanzos always garbanzos to eat since
00:45:49my teeth were born until at the age of 18 I left the town to go to the capital garbanzos
00:45:55so 365 days for 18 years look at the garbanzos that I could eat and yet I have not
00:46:05lost my hobby I like them the same as before and all the legumes where there is a good plate of legumes that
00:46:13removes the tajalas
00:46:25this beautiful fable that he wrote a second please only a second I swear right now
00:46:32I'm going to stop for a second, Juan Ángel, only a second, a second
00:46:37right now we continue, I swear to you, Juan Ángel, look, I want to thank you from the bottom of my heart for what you are doing for me
00:46:47because thanks to you I will continue until the end of my path, the only thing I want to say
00:46:53already thinking about you, what need do we have to go with that?
00:47:02you are already hurting me a little like this
00:47:05let's see, be consistent
00:47:16don't look at me like that, if it weren't for me you would be
00:47:22getting drunk like a dirty pianist
00:47:31I'm sorry
00:47:42my uncles have an egg factory in Ávila
00:47:45I can get you money
00:47:48a lot
00:47:53how much?
00:47:56I don't know
00:47:58two, three, three thousand?
00:48:01four thousand?
00:48:03do you dare to sell yourself in my face for so little?
00:48:07no, no
00:48:08we would have to finish the trip here and now, look
00:48:11Juan, Juan, Juan
00:48:13sorry
00:48:27Juan, Juan, Juan
00:48:52I'm sorry, these things happen
00:48:57I'm sorry
00:49:27Kraken, where does the animal end and where does the monster begin?
00:49:33Rocio, keep in mind that Kraken is a myth and not a reality
00:49:39calling Kraken a giant squid is like calling King Kong a very big gorilla
00:49:44good night, I'll have 15.95 euros
00:49:46and this is the only close relationship between Kraken and the Catholic religion
00:49:53in 1755, the bishop Pontopidan of Bergen, Norway
00:49:59wrote that the floating islands that appeared and disappeared in the seas of the north
00:50:05were without a doubt Kraken
00:50:09the back of an adult Kraken had a length of two and a half kilometers
00:50:14due to the shape of its spine and the tentacles that appeared like algae flakes
00:50:19he was confused with a regular-sized island
00:50:23the bishop of Midaros raised a altar on the rock of a beach and celebrated the holy mass
00:50:29he did not know that he was on the back of a Kraken
00:50:32the monster respectfully waited for the bishop to finish
00:50:36and then quietly slipped into the water and disappeared
00:50:41but modern skepticism does not adhere to the existence of Kraken
00:50:46what a slow girl
00:50:52who knows the depth of the seas?
00:50:56perhaps as Tennyson wrote
00:50:59under the agitated surface waters, far, far away in the abyssal sea
00:51:05his ancient and unburdened dream, Kraken is sleeping
00:51:13well, we just have to say goodbye and we will do it with a glass
00:51:19with Nati
00:51:35never fall in love
00:51:45in a restless world like this is
00:51:52love is ended before it's begun
00:51:59and too many moonlight kisses
00:52:05seem to cool in the warmth of the sun
00:52:14when I give my heart
00:52:20it will be completely
00:52:26or I'll never give my heart
00:52:34I shit on your R12, I shit on the fucking crab-thrower, I shit on the hostia
00:52:38but what the fuck am I doing here?
00:52:40I shit on the whore now in which I speak to you
00:52:42hostia
00:52:46give me a shot, I can't continue, Juan Angel, give me a shot
00:52:49it won't be for so long, come on, be a man and continue, fuck
00:52:52I can't, hostias, fuck
00:52:55I'm going to stop, huh?
00:52:56ah, hostias, I can't
00:53:01we continue but you have to change the place
00:53:04huh?
00:53:07if it's a moment from here, neither God comes out
00:53:10then what the fuck do we do?
00:53:12let's see, come on
00:53:13come on
00:53:14ah, fuck
00:53:18careful, careful
00:53:22careful, fuck
00:53:23careful, careful, careful you
00:53:25step aside
00:53:27come on
00:53:28come on, fuck, come on, fuck
00:53:30well
00:53:31that's it
00:53:33come on
00:53:35now do your thing, huh?
00:53:37fuck
00:53:38wait a minute
00:53:41fuck
00:53:44come on, fuck, fuck
00:53:46we're in a hurry now
00:53:50I can't do this, we have to go further
00:53:54see you tomorrow
00:53:55forward, forward, forward, forward
00:54:03fuck
00:54:22help
00:54:24help
00:54:26help
00:54:28help
00:54:30help
00:54:32help
00:54:34help
00:54:36stop
00:54:38stop
00:54:40help
00:54:49Jonas?
00:54:53Jonas!
00:54:55Jonas!
00:54:56help
00:55:02who was that girl?
00:55:04I don't know
00:55:06what do you mean you don't know?
00:55:08she said your name
00:55:09it's Maria
00:55:11Maria?
00:55:15Maria?
00:55:18well, this is a coincidence, we can't deny it
00:55:21come back
00:55:26come back
00:55:32are you stupid or what's wrong with you?
00:55:34are you stupid or what's wrong with you?
00:55:36what's wrong with you?
00:55:38open the door
00:55:39open the door
00:55:40open the door
00:55:55there's a guy, there's a murderer out there
00:55:57there's a madman, a beast
00:56:03I swear I'll never see you again
00:56:05I swear to God
00:56:06we have to go to the police
00:56:08a phone, give me a phone
00:56:10give me a phone, fuck
00:56:20and what are you doing dressed like a whore?
00:56:22in the middle of the road, like whores
00:56:29and you?
00:56:31why are you going backwards?
00:56:32why are you going backwards?
00:56:34because this man has a bomb and he's forcing me to go to Avila
00:56:40seriously, can you tell me?
00:56:44you don't give a shit, do you?
00:56:48exactly
00:57:32what?
00:57:48hey
00:57:50friend
00:57:51hey
00:57:56hey
00:57:57friend
00:57:59hey
00:58:02hey
00:58:05what's up?
00:58:06friend
00:58:07hey
00:58:09stop
00:58:10stop, stop
00:58:11man
00:58:17friends, let's go to the police
00:58:19they tried to burn me
00:58:20Maria, what are you doing here?
00:58:22that they tried to burn him doesn't make him the man of the world
00:58:26so get out of the car
00:58:28come on, get the fuck out of the car
00:58:30get out of the car
00:58:31I said get the fuck out
00:58:38beast
00:58:55they're going to go far
00:58:57let's go
00:59:00let's go
00:59:30let's go
01:00:00let's go
01:00:16hey, stop right there
01:00:17this isn't a bus or a bus stop
01:00:21good evening everyone
01:00:22Maria, are you okay?
01:00:25Norberto, please leave me your seat
01:00:27son
01:00:28come on
01:00:29come on, let's go
01:00:33what are you doing?
01:00:34don't talk, don't talk, don't talk
01:00:36don't worry Norberto, I'll make it up to you
01:00:39besides, walking a little will be good for a young man as stubborn as you
01:00:43come on
01:00:57fuck
01:01:28fuck
01:01:34cut!
01:01:36get the fuck out of here, bitch
01:01:38we're not going to do it again, we're going to do it ten times
01:01:40right here, right now
01:01:42what a fucking action
01:01:43I haven't been so bored in a long time
01:01:46yes, the false security of the payroll
01:01:51it's just that
01:01:53a little shot
01:01:54huh?
01:01:55oh, no
01:01:56I'm an octite or decapant
01:01:58the varnish reminds me of the bones
01:02:00what bones?
01:02:01I've told you a thousand times
01:02:02no, not to me
01:02:03yes, fuck
01:02:04when my brother was studying medicine
01:02:06my father bought a corpse for 15,000 pesetas from a corrupt burialer
01:02:10damn, it's a corpse
01:02:12they brought it in two bags and it was heavy as fuck
01:02:14because it still had a lot of meat stuck to the bones
01:02:16Ana, are you kidding me?
01:02:18I swear
01:02:19my mother chopped it up
01:02:20and cooked it in a spaghetti pot
01:02:22one of those tall ones
01:02:23and then, with a knife, she...
01:02:25she...
01:02:26she...
01:02:27she skinned the bones
01:02:29it's fucked up to end up like this, isn't it?
01:02:30poor man
01:02:31no, it was a woman
01:02:32I varnished the bones myself
01:02:34it had a very nice...
01:02:36very nice...
01:02:37very nice
01:02:44and you, what's the strongest thing you've ever had in your life?
01:02:47me?
01:02:48yes, the decor
01:02:49white mate
01:02:51your...
01:02:52stronger than the super universal 3v3
01:02:54the one that doesn't drip?
01:02:55yes
01:02:56it's not bad
01:02:57what happens to me is that I get hungry
01:02:58and I have a bad mood
01:03:00I don't...
01:03:01hey, do you watch Bricomania?
01:03:03huh?
01:03:04huh?
01:03:05why?
01:03:06because yesterday...
01:03:07yesterday they put on a Bruguera acrylic special
01:03:10I really recommend it
01:03:11for me, that show is like the Bible, you know?
01:03:13I...
01:03:14I watch it on Sundays in the afternoon
01:03:16I open the can of tuna
01:03:18I put it here
01:03:19I also watch it when I catch it
01:03:21in my house they think I love carpentry
01:03:23well, I...
01:03:24what I always record is the Briconsejo
01:03:27man...
01:03:28the Briconsejo is a lot, man
01:03:30but you know what's the strongest thing of all, really?
01:03:34huh?
01:03:35huh?
01:03:36no
01:03:37the...
01:03:38the cans of Montixturbio
01:03:40that...
01:03:41have you tried that?
01:03:42no, it was a joke
01:03:45no
01:03:51no
01:03:57what an exciting day
01:03:59they burn my old caravan
01:04:01and now we go backwards
01:04:02oh, I don't know where
01:04:04can I ask why we go backwards?
01:04:07if everyone who goes up will ask the same
01:04:10we go wrong
01:04:11we go very wrong
01:04:12let's see, I don't see anything in that arm
01:04:14hey!
01:04:15I don't see anything, dammit!
01:04:16are you not going to do anything or what?
01:04:18this is impossible, dammit!
01:04:22there's another girl on the road
01:04:26oh, it was a prostitute
01:04:28but she's going to the brothel, she's not far from here
01:04:31hey, enough with the stops
01:04:34why does everyone have that face?
01:04:36what happened?
01:04:38I know a spa in Hablanca
01:04:40everyone is invited
01:04:42let's go backwards to take some seaweed baths
01:04:45ha ha ha
01:04:46it's not original
01:04:47ah
01:04:48it's not original
01:04:49ah
01:04:50oh, Maria
01:04:52what a way to meet you tonight
01:04:56you're even more beautiful
01:04:58with a worried face
01:05:01you know, I haven't been to my house in Capri for two years
01:05:04we can go
01:05:05open it
01:05:06spend a few days
01:05:07eh?
01:05:09and of course you can come too, Leo
01:05:12let's see, you crouch a little bit
01:05:14and shut the fuck up
01:05:16come on
01:05:17ah, you see, my friend, you see
01:05:19I know it can be very fun to drive backwards
01:05:22but don't you think I should rest a little?
01:05:24Jonas, I beg you
01:05:26I don't know, let me go!
01:05:28how do you know each other?
01:05:30leave him, Jonas
01:05:31you know, there are almost 20 different oils
01:05:34to give a neck massage
01:05:37hey, are you hungry?
01:05:39in the spa I'm talking about
01:05:40they prepare the best Galician octopus
01:05:42after the one they make in Syria
01:05:45if it's Galician
01:05:46it must be because the best place to make it is in Galicia
01:05:49and even more
01:05:50it must be because it's in Galicia where it was invented
01:05:53I have no intention of making you seem ignorant
01:05:57but when in Galicia you painted mammoths on the walls
01:06:01the great variety of Syrian cuisine
01:06:03already had the octopus warm
01:06:05served with potato and pepper
01:06:07that's a bullshit, don't fuck with me
01:06:09the octopus where it's delicious is in Lugo
01:06:11or in Sepontevedra
01:06:13or in any bar in Spain
01:06:15to begin with
01:06:16in Syria, in the time you refer to
01:06:18the octopus didn't exist
01:06:20it's not about the octopus
01:06:22the lentils, the rice
01:06:24even the pipitoria
01:06:26in Syria, in ancient Syria
01:06:28and in many Arab countries
01:06:30they already prepared authentic delicacies
01:06:33and why didn't you stay in your country, assholes
01:06:35since they eat so well
01:06:37why did you have to come here to touch our asses
01:06:39because of the women, my friend
01:06:41the women are much more fiery
01:07:02now everyone calm down
01:07:04yes
01:07:10good evening
01:07:11good evening
01:07:12you know that it's not allowed to drive in the opposite direction
01:07:15on a country road
01:07:17at your age, making a mess with the car
01:07:20eh?
01:07:21give me your documentation and the vehicle's
01:07:24forgive us
01:07:26you surprised us
01:07:28let's see, there's an explanation for everything
01:07:31we came from...
01:07:33for a mechanical problem
01:07:35we have seen ourselves in the circumstance
01:07:38of having to go through this road
01:07:40in such a way
01:07:42but without malice
01:07:43and using all means of security
01:07:46of course
01:07:48I would only ask you
01:07:50to make an exception
01:07:53documentation
01:07:56eh?
01:07:58give me your documentation, please
01:08:00me?
01:08:04I'm running, I'm rolling, please be quiet
01:08:07engine!
01:08:08fuck, engine!
01:08:10action!
01:08:14action!
01:08:15get out of the car and stay calm
01:08:23come on!
01:08:24eh, this vehicle that I have mobilized
01:08:27stop
01:08:29let's go
01:08:30let's go
01:08:31why?
01:08:32let's go
01:08:33let's go
01:08:36Heidi is Heidi, Heidi is the essence
01:08:38do you understand?
01:08:39Heidi was working and milking cows
01:08:41while the grandfather was smoking pipe
01:08:43assholes
01:08:48at the moment he is making fun of her
01:08:53you have to show her
01:09:03I think the time has come
01:09:06to carry out a small maneuver of distraction
01:09:20it's the first gift my wife gave me
01:09:24I promised that I would not tell anyone about the Mirlo
01:09:28listen
01:09:31she may be angry with me
01:09:33for not having paid the mortgage
01:09:35but she will be very happy
01:09:37that thanks to me
01:09:39she changes your life
01:09:42I only ask you one thing
01:09:46don't give up
01:09:47but...
01:09:48I mean...
01:09:49Juan Angel
01:09:59Juan Angel!
01:10:00Juan Angel!
01:10:01wait!
01:10:18I'm not a pyromaniac
01:10:20shut up
01:10:21you don't know that children like trees and birds
01:10:24trees are necessary for everything
01:10:26shut up
01:10:27what trees?
01:10:28I'm not a pyromaniac
01:10:30children...
01:10:35children like trees
01:10:37listen to the comrade
01:10:40hey!
01:10:55you are going to explode
01:10:56I'm going to explode
01:10:57I'm going to explode
01:10:58I'm going to explode
01:11:03what?
01:11:04sexist
01:11:05he is a sexist
01:11:09I'm going to explode
01:11:11I'm going to explode
01:11:15learn!
01:11:16am I the director of the music video?
01:11:18am I the director of the music video?
01:11:20good
01:11:35Jonas
01:11:36Jonas
01:11:37what are you going to do?
01:11:39what are you going to do?
01:11:47Maria
01:11:48Maria, are you okay?
01:11:49yes
01:11:50well
01:11:51don't worry
01:11:52nothing has happened
01:11:55don't give up
01:11:56don't give up
01:11:58I think...
01:11:59I think we have to leave
01:12:10fuck!
01:12:11fuck!
01:12:12fuck!
01:12:22Maria, what's wrong with you?
01:12:24do you know who that man was?
01:12:27the one with the tails
01:12:28really?
01:12:33Maria
01:12:34for God's sake
01:12:35here
01:12:36call Ricardo
01:12:40Maria
01:12:41let's go wherever you want
01:12:42but let's go now
01:12:43for God's sake
01:12:46not today
01:13:09for God's sake
01:13:10for God's sake
01:13:11for God's sake
01:13:12for God's sake
01:13:38do you know what happens when my brother-in-law immobilizes a car?
01:13:42do you know what happens when my brother-in-law immobilizes a car?
01:13:46that's going to mass
01:13:48are you going to mass?
01:13:51how long has it been since you last got up early?
01:14:13sir!
01:14:14sir!
01:14:15come here!
01:14:19let's see
01:14:20this truck has to go to Ávila
01:14:23I have dollars
01:14:24and I have euros
01:14:26I don't have any problem with the cash
01:14:28come on
01:14:29the money
01:14:34the money
01:14:35the money
01:14:36the money
01:14:37the money
01:14:38the money
01:14:39the money
01:14:40the money
01:14:41the money
01:15:00I feel like beating a record tonight
01:15:04Maria
01:15:05have you called Ricardo?
01:15:07call Ricardo for God's sake
01:15:12Maria!
01:15:15let's see
01:15:16traffic lights
01:15:18road lights
01:15:20windshield
01:15:22emergency hydraulic brake
01:15:25reducers
01:15:27and I'm going to rob you of something
01:15:29when you get to Ávila, let me see it parked, please
01:15:32don't worry
01:15:33careful
01:15:34prudence
01:15:35this is not a utility
01:15:42hey
01:15:43can I ask you a personal question?
01:15:46yes
01:15:47what does it mean to go late?
01:15:50exactly
01:15:51the same as if you and I
01:15:53coincided in Helsinki
01:15:58I'll tell you
01:15:59do you want to pronounce it?
01:16:02be careful
01:16:03there's a revolver at the border
01:16:05I'll tell you
01:16:06there's a revolver at the border
01:16:10Eretriz, you son of a bitch
01:16:12the mother who gave birth to you
01:16:21father
01:16:22your hair is dyed
01:16:28my name is Nordin
01:16:29I'm a Syrian citizen
01:16:31without a doubt you confuse me with someone
01:16:36in Syria it is customary
01:16:38full moon night with a mustache
01:16:40other nights without mustache
01:16:43Father Powder
01:16:44I am Emiliano Floreta
01:16:46a few years ago I signed with you
01:16:48the mortgage of a ship
01:16:50in the apostolic box
01:16:52a ship near Beralejo
01:16:56what a crazy night
01:16:57now you confuse me with a priest
01:17:00well, well, well
01:17:01it's not an honor to stay here
01:17:02let's go for a walk
01:17:04Ávila is near here
01:17:06I also know a wonderful spa
01:17:08by the way, my friend
01:17:09are you married?
01:17:10do you have a lover?
01:17:11what the fuck do you care?
01:17:13those things are not asked, father
01:17:15well, that woman is beautiful
01:17:17of course, if not, I wouldn't be with her
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