Bowsette's Princess Lessons: Chapter 4: A Trip Down Memory Lane
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00:00Beau Sets Prince's Lessons. Chapter 4 A Trip Down Memory Lane
00:05Peach felt a pang of remorse as she closed the door to her bedchamber.
00:09All she needed now was a good night's sleep. Then she'd be able to tackle the Bowser dilemma
00:14in the morning. But to Peach's surprise, she found Princess Daisy on her four-poster bed,
00:20lying on her stomach, kicking her feet behind her, and humming as she wrote in a journal.
00:26With a start, Daisy slapped the journal shut.
00:29Peach! What are you doing here? I thought you and Mario would be,
00:34you know, taking one of your long, moonlit walks.
00:37Peach's mouth hung open.
00:39Daisy? This is my bedroom. What are you doing here?
00:44Daisy hopped out of Peach's bed, and not-so-subtly clicked a small padlock that
00:48sealed her diary shut behind her back.
00:51Don't you remember? We're having our slumber party tonight,
00:55to celebrate surviving our last adventure. Check it. Can you believe Luigi was going
01:01to throw this out? It's a perfectly good shirt.
01:04Daisy held out her hands to present her sleepwear.
01:08Peach furrowed her brow as she took in the sight of Daisy before her.
01:13In contrast to Peach, who always wore either a thin nightie or elegant woolen nightgown to bed,
01:19Daisy preferred to wear sweatpants and old t-shirts.
01:22Tonight, Daisy had yellow-orange yoga shorts with a white floral pattern,
01:27and a baggy forest green t-shirt, which bore an emblem of Luigi on the front,
01:32and the words, Year of Luigi, 2013 on the back.
01:37Looking misty-eyed, Daisy gave the shirt a sniff.
01:41It smells like Luigi. Salty, but refined.
01:45Peach snickered.
01:47Of course, our sleepover. I remember now. With all the chaos today,
01:52it completely slipped my mind. Feels like we've been running nonstop for a week.
01:57But Daisy, aren't you too… tired?
02:00Peach paused as she noticed Daisy lowering her pajama bottoms and examining her bear
02:04behind in Peach's bedroom mirror. Daisy whistled as she looked over
02:09the marks left by the ruler.
02:11Phew. I'd barely recovered from that caning Toadsworth gave us yesterday for going absent
02:16without leave, only to have that warrior librarian of yours take her ruler to me.
02:21How are your battle scars looking, Peach? I have a feeling Toadsworth went way harder on you,
02:27which sucks because it's kinda my fault we ran away in the first place.
02:31Then again, my dad's totally going to tan my hide when I get home for causing so much trouble,
02:36so in the end it probably all balances out.
02:39Peach paled and covered her bottom. She'd forgotten all about the caning until Daisy
02:44had so helpfully reminded her. Beneath her pink gown,
02:47the mottled cane marks still twinged slightly whenever she bent over.
02:51I think they've mostly healed by now, Daisy glanced back at her own backside in the mirror.
02:57The tan lines left by their time baking in the dry, dry desert sun were clearly visible.
03:03Really? Wanna compare them to mine?
03:06Peach's face went straight from pale moon white to blood moon red,
03:10at the thought of baring her bottom for inspection.
03:13No, thank you, Daisy. I'd rather get dressed, in private.
03:18Daisy pondered this strange request, then pulled up her shorts with a nod.
03:23Gotcha. Hey, remember doing calisthenics at Princess Academy? You used to get super shy
03:29in the girls' locker room. Well, don't worry, I'll make sure no one sneaks up on you.
03:35Nobody's snapping your butt with a wet towel on my watch.
03:39Peach sighed. Thank you, Daisy.
03:42She thought about asking Daisy to leave the room entirely, but decided it would be easier and less
03:46embarrassing to just get dressed quickly, rather than try to spell everything out.
03:51At Princess Academy, the time-honored tradition of encouraging classmates with a towel snap to the
03:57hiney had been torture for Peach, whereas Daisy had been one of the most ferocious towel snappers.
04:04When Peach had asked Daisy politely to stop towel-whipping her,
04:07Daisy had not only instantly agreed, she'd also made a solemn,
04:11sacred vow to watch Peach's back in the locker room, for all time.
04:16Peach quickly donned her nightie behind her decorative dressing screen,
04:20and couldn't resist a quick peek at her peach-shaped posterior.
04:24Sure enough, the old cane marks from yesterday had faded to a mottled pink.
04:29Daisy whispered urgently from the other side of the screen.
04:32Peach! Coast is clear. Your butt's safe.
04:36Peach emerged to find Daisy scouring the room, darting from the stained-glass windows to the
04:41door in search of towel-wielding assassins. Peach couldn't help but smile.
04:46Daisy, I'm completely bushed. Why don't we just turn in for the night?
04:51Yeah, good idea. I have so much I want to talk about, but we really need to get to bed.
04:57As Daisy uttered the last word, she spotted her locked diary laying on the bed,
05:01and dove to scoop it up and hide it in the dressing table.
05:05We'll talk about girl stuff tomorrow night.
05:08Relieved, Peach yawned, dimmed the lights, and snuggled under the covers.
05:13Thanks, Daisy. We'll deal with the Bowser problem tomorrow morning when we're refreshed.
05:18Just as she was about to lay down to rest, Daisy shot up from her pillow.
05:23Oh? I know what to do about Bowser, that's easy. I've been thinking about it all day.
05:29Peach snapped awake.
05:31What? You know what to do with Bowser?
05:34Daisy rolled her eyes and shooed her bottom lip.
05:36Duh-huh. Think about it. What happens to you and me when we do something bad?
05:42Peach was struggling to keep up,
05:44but Daisy didn't wait for an answer for her rhetorical question.
05:48We get spanked, of course. And Bowser is a bad, bad girl, right? Or, rather,
05:54a bad, bad total man trapped in the body of a bad, bad girl.
05:59Peach was last.
06:00So, the plan is?
06:02Daisy grinned like an evil clown.
06:04It's simple. We spank the bad man.
06:07Daisy, Bowser is a megalomaniacal tyrant.
06:11I don't think you can fix something like that with a little spanking.
06:14Of course not. He needs lots and lots of spanking to make up for lost time.
06:20But only when he deserves it. We don't want to be needlessly cruel.
06:25Peach groaned.
06:26Daisy, that just won't work.
06:28People don't just magically change their nature because you start hitting them.
06:33Daisy threw off her covers and pantomimed the act of spanking herself.
06:36But our dads never, ever hit us. They spank us.
06:41It's completely different. They only spank us because they love us.
06:46And why not? It works, doesn't it?
06:49Hasn't your dad taught you to be a better princess by spanking you?
06:53Peach felt her stomach clench.
06:55The truth was, she had only been spanked a few times in her entire life.
07:00It was true that her father had spanked her himself a few times when she was very young.
07:05But as he started to get older, he had passed that duty on to Toadsworth,
07:09who had been responsible for Peach's education and discipline
07:13since she was old enough to enter Princess Academy.
07:16Generally, Peach liked to forget about her spankings as soon as they were over,
07:21but each one was painfully memorable.
07:24Daisy, in contrast, had been spanked rather frequently by both her parents.
07:29And ever since both princesses were punished together for running away,
07:33Daisy had been all too eager to discuss her spankings in detail.
07:38As Peach considered her last painful experience with the cane,
07:41she had to admit it had taught her a lesson.
07:44Well, I suppose it works for us, but that doesn't mean it will work on Bowser.
07:49He has to want to do better.
07:51Daisy paused in the middle of delivering her pretend spanking, her hand held high.
07:56Oh, now that you mention it, that does throw a hitch into the plan.
08:00Come to think of it, Dad never spanks me without talking to me about what I did first.
08:05He always says a spanking won't do me any good if I'm not sorry and try to do better.
08:10Sorry, Peach, guess it was a dumb idea.
08:13Peach had a light bulb appear over her head,
08:15and pressed her index finger to her lips delicately.
08:19No, Daisy, it's not a dumb idea at all.
08:22It just needs a little refinement.
08:26Paralyzed, Bowser trembled furtively in his sleep.
08:29He was sitting in the divorce court, wearing his sharpest three-piece suit.
08:34His twin brother, Morton C. Koopa, adjusted his glasses.
08:39Except for his blue hair and sea-green shell, Morton was the spitting image of Bowser.
08:45Don't worry, Big B.
08:47Even if they rule against us, we'll have grounds for an appeal.
08:51Appeal? What's that mean?
08:54There's nothing appealing about this place.
08:58Bowser glanced around the courtroom, his head throbbing.
09:01Then he spotted her.
09:02His ex-wife, Claudia Koopa, sobbing into a handkerchief,
09:06surrounded by a crack team of greasy big-shot lawyers, paid for by King Wart, her new beau.
09:12Between the two legal teams, Claudia and Bowser's first and only egg
09:17sat in a specially prepared incubator, also dressed in a suit and a tie.
09:22The legally blind Judge Koopa missed his gavel a few times as he slammed down his hammer,
09:28his powdered white wig in danger of flopping off his bald head.
09:31This court finds that all lands and properties of the Koopa Kingdom
09:34shall be evenly divided between the two parties.
09:38Bowser wiped the sweat from his brow.
09:40That was better than he was expecting.
09:42As for the matter of child custody, this court believes that mother and father should continue
09:47to share custody until such time as Koopa Child Protective Services can complete its investigation.
09:53Bowser knocked over his chair as he stood.
09:56No! What is there to investigate?
09:59Haven't you already seen more than enough evidence?
10:03As she pretended to weep, Claudia Koopa flashed Bowser a wicked smile,
10:08so that only he could see.
10:10Justice is done, she cooed.
10:12We'll appeal immediately, squeaked one of her lawyers before she elbowed him in the ribs.
10:18With a roar, Bowser slammed his fist into the wooden table, smashing it.
10:23No! She can't be trusted to care for that egg.
10:27She told me herself she doesn't even want a baby.
10:31That she's only doing this to hurt me!
10:34Morton shook as his legal documents were sent flying.
10:37The-the, please. You have to keep a cool head.
10:42It's your only chance to win the court over.
10:45But before he could incinerate the courtroom, Bowser became aware of himself outside of himself.
10:51He was weak and small, and his hands were hideous and pale, with too many fingers.
10:58The old Bowser stood meekly in the courtroom, as his precious child was carted away from him.
11:03No! squealed Bowser.
11:05but he could only hear a frail woman's voice.
11:08Don't you know what's gonna happen next? Do something, fight!
11:12Morton was weeping.
11:13I'm sorry, Bigby. I'm so, so sorry. It's all my fault.
11:20Bowser turned on Morton, ready to heap abuse on him, but something was wrong.
11:25Morton was small now, wearing a bib.
11:28It's my fault, Bigby. I broke it. He's coming.
11:32Bowser looked around. It was his childhood nursery.
11:35Who's coming?
11:36Morton crawled under the crib, hiding in the shadows.
11:39The monster. The Great Demon King.
11:42A hideous roar shook the castle. A demonic voice bellowed.
11:46Who did it? Where's that little shit?
11:50Then Bowser remembered. This was the old nightmare, always the same.
11:54He knew there was no escape from the Great Demon King.
11:58Rushing to lock the door, he spoke the same words he always did.
12:02Stay under the crib, Morton.
12:04The monster slammed against the door.
12:06Let me in. Let me in, you little monster. I'm gonna roast you over a slow fire.
12:14Pointlessly, Bowser pressed his weight against the nursery door.
12:17But he was too small. He was too weak.
12:20Then, something interrupted the flow of the old nightmare.
12:24A woman's voice, low and far away.
12:27Poor, sweet baby. I had no idea.
12:30You've been fighting so hard, trying to be so strong, for oh, so long.
12:36Bowser felt the door splinter and shatter as the Great Demon King kicked it down.
12:41The way it always happened. But this time it was in slow motion.
12:44Mommy, is that you?
12:46The woman held out her arms, welcoming him to her bosom.
12:50Come to me, baby. I'll keep you safe forever.
12:54Bowser toddled to her, wanting to be lost in her embrace,
12:58wanting to disappear from the nursery.
13:00But something stopped him. In the midst of the dream, he became lucid.
13:05Wait, this never happens in the dream. You're not my mommy.
13:08The blonde woman smiled wide, revealing her pointed teeth.
13:12Please, let me help you. Let me take you away from this nightmare.
13:17But Bowser turned away from her to look for Morton, shivering under the crib.
13:22The Great Demon King was coming.
13:24No, I'm the one who broke it. It was me.
13:27As the door smashed open, Bowser knew there was no escape.
13:31There could never be an escape. It was his first eternal memory.
13:36Fear followed by pain.
13:39Bowser awoke with a gasp, still shivering in his cot.
13:43Over the years, he'd taught himself to awaken on command when the old nightmare haunted him.
13:49Rubbing his head, he struggled to get his bearings.
13:52Strangely, he felt completely rested.
13:55In fact, that had been one of the best night's sleep he'd enjoyed in his entire life.
14:01Rise and grind, roared Bowser as he hopped to his feet.
14:04Only when he caught sight of his bare lily-white boobs
14:08and mussy blonde hair in the mirror did he recall his predicament.
14:12Oh boy, it's a wee bit nipply out here. I'd best put a shirt on.
14:16Picking up the black ballroom gown he wore yesterday,
14:19Bowser sniffed it, shrugged, and put it on again.
14:23Then he did a double take and examined the mirror again.
14:26His hair was blood red, and his skin tanned to bronze.
14:30That was what they were supposed to be, right?
14:33Yeah, just like he remembered from last night.
14:36Wait, got to keep a clear head.
14:38My brilliant surprise attack on Castle Toadstool failed, for no fault of my own.
14:42Then the crown of Queen Toadstool turned me into a woman,
14:46and Peach put me in the friend zone, and then...
14:49Bowser approached the broken mirror hesitantly,
14:52waiting for his reflection to do something crazy.
14:54Oh, spooky ghost babe, Queen Toadstool, uh, Bowsette, yoo-hoo!
15:00Bowser tapped the crown on his head, expecting it to work like a microphone.
15:04Is this thing on?
15:05He shook his head.
15:06Bah, that part was just a dream. I was overly distraught by Peachy's cold,
15:11heartless betrayal of my affections.
15:13How could she treat me that way, after all we've been through together?
15:17Bowser examined his cell, then drummed his fingers together.
15:21He was getting used to having more dexterous fingers.
15:24Then again, she's young and foolish.
15:27I'll just give her the cold shoulder.
15:29Sooner or later, she'll see how wrong she was and come crawling back to me on bended knee.
15:34It's not like she has any better options.
15:36Bowser flexed his biceps and kissed them,
15:39slightly disappointed to find them so diminished in his feminine form.
15:43So, all I've got to do is keep a clear head and wait for my chance to-
15:47Outside his cell, the door to the former dungeon slash refurbished guest bedroom creaked open.
15:53Toadette appeared carrying a tray of steaming pancakes,
15:56a protein-rich shroom shake, and a kettle of koopa tea.
16:00Breakfast is served, King Bowser.
16:03Bowser was salivating as he caught the aroma, floating on air towards the meal,
16:07before his face bonked into the iron bars.
16:10I'll hand it over now.
16:12Toadette started to obey before she caught herself.
16:15I'm sorry, your majesty.
16:17Please sit on your cot while I pass the meal through the food port.
16:21Toadette gestured to a bell hanging behind a painted yellow line that indicated the safe zone.
16:26When I ring the bell, you may collect your tray.
16:29Smoke billowed from Bowser's nostrils.
16:31And what if I refuse?
16:33Toadette pressed her feet together.
16:35In that case, I can't serve you your breakfast.
16:38I'm sorry, your majesty, but those are my orders from Captain Toad.
16:43Bowser's hunger won over his desire to get his way.
16:46Fine! Be that way!
16:49After Toadette placed the tray in Bowser's cell and rang the bell,
16:52Bowser sprang hungrily to snatch up his breakfast.
16:56But before he could chow down, he sensed the presence of another person in the room.
17:01Who's there? Come out, you sneak!
17:03A Toad with red spots emerged from the shadows in the corner of the cell.
17:08He had an unremarkable face like most Toads,
17:11but his eyes were sharp and he wore a red scarf that bore a symbol of his rank.
17:16Well done, Toadette. I knew I could count on you.
17:18Toadette failed to hide her look of awe, her twin Toad tails bouncing.
17:23Captain Toad, you were watching me?
17:25No, I was watching him.
17:28Captain Toad placed a teasing emphasis on the last word before dismissing Toadette.
17:33Bowser narrowed his eyes.
17:35Do I know you from somewhere?
17:37Standing firmly on the yellow safety line, Captain Toad crossed his arms.
17:41We've met before.
17:42Bowser grinned wickedly, then started stuffing his face,
17:46inhaling an entire pancake in one bite.
17:49Gee, you must not have made much of an impression.
17:52Captain Toad refused to dignify Bowser's teasing with a response.
17:56After guzzling the shroom shake, Bowser remembered something.
18:00Hang on, aren't you that schmuck who likes to moonlight as a treasure hunter?
18:03Only when I'm not on duty.
18:05A few crumbs of pancake flew from Bowser's mouth as he guffawed.
18:09Yeah, and you're the Toad who helped Mario take out that chomping wart.
18:12You seem to know a lot about me. Guess I made an impression after all.
18:16Oh, I always keep close tabs on my peachy poo-coo.
18:19My lecky toon shy guy spies put you fun goes to shame.
18:23It was hilarious watching you and that fat frog wart going at each other.
18:26I didn't know who to root for.
18:28Well, we got King Wart in the end, and now we got you.
18:32Bowser paused, half a pancake hanging from his mouth.
18:35Mwah-duh.
18:36Realizing that talking with his mouth full was spoiling the effect,
18:39he threw back his head and downed the rest of the pancake in a single chomp.
18:43What's that? I can't hear you so good. Step a little closer and say that again.
18:48Captain Toad shook his head.
18:50Nice try, but rules are rules. We've got to set a good example for Toadette.
18:54Bowser took a delicate sip of tea. It was rich and well-brewed.
18:59Yes. How else are you supposed to reduce incompetence without setting an example
19:03of good leadership? Also, I never fail to make an example out of someone who displeases me.
19:09Captain Toad didn't reply. His toe crept over the safety line, but he didn't cross it.
19:16Satisfied, Bowser drank the rest of his tea in silence.
19:20A soft voice at the back of his head whispered,
19:23Mario, Luigi, and this guy. Gotta keep both eyes open when they're around.