• 2 months ago
The phrase "nearest and dearest" often evokes a sense of warmth, family, and close relationships. It's a term that brings to mind the people we hold closest to our hearts—our family, friends, and loved ones. However, in the context of British television, "Nearest and Dearest" takes on a different meaning, referring to a classic sitcom that captured the hearts of many.

"Nearest and Dearest" was a British television sitcom that aired from 1968 to 1973. The show starred Hylda Baker and Jimmy Jewel as Nellie and Eli Pledge, siblings who inherit their father's pickle business in Colne, Lancashire. The series was known for its humor derived from the characters' squabbles, malapropisms, and the unique dynamics of a family-run business.

The premise of the show was simple yet effective: Nellie, a hard-working spinster, and Eli, a womanizing slacker, must run the family business together to inherit their father's fortune. This setup led to comedic situations and memorable catchphrases that are still recognized by fans of classic British comedy.

Despite the on-screen chemistry between Baker and Jewel, it was widely reported that the two did not get along off-screen, adding a layer of intrigue to the show's history. Their tumultuous relationship is often cited as one of the most toxic in British sitcom history.

"Nearest and Dearest" also serves as a cultural touchstone, reflecting the era's social norms and the changing landscape of British comedy. It's a show that, while rooted in the 1960s and 70s, continues to find new audiences who appreciate its wit and charm.

For those who grew up watching "Nearest and Dearest," the show remains a nostalgic reminder of a bygone era of television. And for newcomers, it offers a glimpse into the rich tapestry of British humor and the timeless appeal of family dynamics in storytelling.

Whether you're revisiting the series or discovering it for the first time, "Nearest and Dearest" stands as a testament to the enduring nature of well-crafted comedy and the universal themes of family and ambition. It's a piece of television history that continues to be nearest and dearest to many viewers' hearts.

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Transcript
00:30Ooh, that Eli, not home yet. And it's quarter past... two.
00:39The dirty stop-out. Here am I, all by myself, on me own, with nobody with me, while he's
00:47out enjoying the flesh pots. I wonder if he's out with Atta Charrette from the Odeon. She
00:53won't need her torch to show him where to go.
00:57Well, he's had it. He's stopped his last stop-out. I've warned him. If you don't come in before
01:07midnight, you stay out.
01:12That's that. I'll bash his brains in. I'll push his ears that far back he'll have to turn
01:18round to listen. I'll tell you, when I've finished with him, he'll even limp when he
01:26talks. I wonder what can ever happen to him. What am I worrying about? It's just like him
01:36not to have an accident for spite.
01:42Is that you, Eli?
01:48You acted unkind. You put on your nightie and pulled out the blind. Oh, sweet home,
01:56be never so humble. There's no place to put the bloody key.
02:08Handle. Now ring the bell for our Nelly. Come on, ring. Ding dong, ding dong, ding
02:15dong, ding dong. Oh, what's the matter with the flaming thing? Nelly, it's me, little
02:21Eli, at the end. Nelly, Nelly, Nelly. I bet she's hanging upside down in the wardrobe,
02:29the daft old bat. Righty, righty, righty. I know what to do, I do.
02:45Nelly, get me out, Nelly. Get me out of the window. I can't get out of the window, I'm
02:57choking to death. Nelly. You and me are going to have a little conflagration. How can I
03:03have a conflagration when the wind is choking me, you daft old bat? It soothes you, you
03:07see? A pain in the neck with a pain in the neck. That's funny. A pain in the neck, a
03:13pain in the neck. Shut up, poor fish. Shut up yourself. What did I say to you when you
03:19went out tonight? I don't know what you're talking about. I told you to be soon. I know
03:23you did. And if you didn't be soon? You wouldn't let me in. That's right. And where are you
03:28soon? No. No. And where am I not going to let you? In. Right. I'm coming in now. Yes.
03:37You are not coming in. Can't chuck me out like this. Can't I? Well, I have done. You
03:45need me. Oh, yes. In a minute I'll need you like a bloody piece of dough. Oh, that's nice
03:51that is. Hey, you're round the flaming twist you are. Oh, yes. You, don't talk to me, you
03:59secondhand barmaid's castron over. Hey, I don't need you, short house. Plenty of places
04:06in this town, you know, I'd be appreciated. Oh, yes. And one of them is the Corporation
04:11Dust Deep. Please, I'll pit you. Back to me. You'll not need knackered old nose drip. I
04:20will give you one last chance to apologise. I won't apologise to you. I'd rather boil
04:26my dumplings in your under vest, I'll tell you, you brewer's boil. That does it. I accept
04:34your apology and I slenter. You will do nothing of the kind. Get out. Get out. Get out. Get
04:39out. Get out. Oh, that's nice. That's it, I'm off. Yes, well, good shuttings to bad
04:44rubbish. I know a place where I shall get a very warm welcome. Well, I've been telling
04:49you to go there for years. Go away. It's me, Stan. Mr. Eli, let me in. Oh, I told Mr. Eli,
04:59I'm gone. Hey, what do you want here this time in the morning? Funny you did that, let
05:08me in. Oh, I don't know. What do you mean you don't know? You might wait in the bird.
05:13Oh, darn it. You what? Where's the bird? Where's the bird? Over there. Where? In the
05:20key. Well, this is where you live, is it? Ah. Not bad, is it? Hey, you should have seen
05:32it before I had it all done up. Yeah, well, I wasn't born on Muffikin night, was I? Anyway,
05:40it'll have to do. Have to do for what? Stanley, I'm taking advantage of your kind invitation.
05:46What kind invitation, Stanley? Don't tell me you've forgotten already. No. What? I haven't
05:55forgotten, Mr. Eli. I just don't remember. Mr. Eli, you said, a friend in need is a friend
06:04indeed. You're a lovely lad. So here I am. Ah, well, don't let me keep you. Hold on.
06:11No, no, you won't have to keep me, Stanley. I'll pay me fair share. Hey, hang on a minute,
06:17Mr. Eli. Well, that's all settled now, Stanley. Where are you going to sleep, eh? You what?
06:24All alone, to be my own. All alone, with nobody with me. Don't be sad, Dad. He's not worth it.
06:37You've nothing to approach yourself with. I mean, you tried to set him an example, but he's gone
06:44now, and so have you, though I shouldn't think he's gone as far as you. But wherever he is,
06:52he's no better off than you, wherever you are. There's your dokes and dokes and dokes,
07:01there's your dokes and dokes and dokes, there's your dokes and dokes.
07:15God, that's not fair. Shut up, you damn thing. Shut up. Rise and shine. What do you mean,
07:25rise and shine? What about rise and shine? I'm going to flame in bed. This bed's worse
07:34than the chairs. What have you got in this mattress? That's genuine horse hair. Ah, well,
07:39you're supposed to take the hooves off first, you know. Bloody hell. I suppose you'll be
07:46wanting to get back to your own bed, then? Oh, no, no, no. I'd sooner put up with this
07:51model of the Swiss Alps than grovel to our Nellie. She's got to apologise first. Hey,
07:57doesn't it worry you? Your own little sister, all alone in that house. She might get frightened.
08:05Not unless she looks in the mirror. No, no, I've got me pride, Stanley, and if you think...
08:14Hang on. You might have something there. Where? Not there. About our Nellie being frightened.
08:23Right. All right about your Nellie, but you had me a bit worried, then. Now, shut up a
08:29minute and give me time to think. Now, what we need is some... That's it, Stanley. We
08:35need some loose change out of your pockets. Here we are. You and I have got some telephone
08:39calls to make. Oh. See, I told him straight. I said one much is too much. I said three
08:45much is too much for anybody. Oh, you do right, Nellie. In fact, I don't know how you've put
08:50up with it for so long. Walter's as fond of his drink as any man, but he knows when he's
08:54had enough. Well, he would, wouldn't he? I'm just saying, you know when you've had enough.
09:01Have you been? I think he's been. Our Eli knows when he's had enough, too. Does he? He falls
09:09flat on his face. You're not worried, then? What about our Eli? Flat on, falling flat
09:15on his face? No, love, about you being here on your own. I'm supposing something happened.
09:21Something happened? To me? A call? You do it with Walter.
09:31Pledge's residence. Miss Nellie Pledge's voice speaking.
09:47Who was it, Nellie? I don't know. It's been at it all afternoon like that. I think they
09:53want the ear, nose and throat hospital. What do you mean? Well, he didn't speak. He just
10:01went... It's one of them. What do you mean, one of them? One of them fellas that ring up
10:09women. Oh, I've read about that. Where fellas telephone women up and they talk about nothing
10:14else but thingy. And they breathe very heavy in it's phone. And you go all funny.
10:24Oh, shall I take it? Ey up, whose phone is it?
10:35Ah, me mother!
10:38Well, that should have got through to her at last, I think. Well, thank heavens for
10:44that. That heavy breathing, it were making me dizzy. You were dizzy to bloody start with.
10:49Now, all I've got to do now is to go around tonight. She will welcome me with open arms.
11:08Got you, you fella! Nellie! It's me, Eli. Oh, it's you, is it? What the hell are you
11:16doing here? Came round to see if you're alright. You need a man about the house. I don't need
11:21a man about the house. I wouldn't have you in anyway. I've got a man about the house.
11:26Walter, see him off.
11:37Hey, kettle's boiling. Go make the tea then. Mondays, Wednesdays and Fridays you make the
12:02tea. You should know what routine be now. You're near ten days. Feels like ten bloody
12:09weeks. If you don't like it... Alright, alright, I'll make the tea. Ey up, where's the other
12:17mug? Over bit bed. That's a change, innit? Yesterday it were underneath it. Ey, and don't
12:29forget to take me teeth out. Ey, that's no good for teeth. I know, but it kills all known
12:37germs. Well, I don't know. Come on, where's the tea bag? Ey, and don't forget, it's my
12:55first dip at tea bag today. Ah, belt up. Hey, Mondays, Wednesdays and Fridays. I know, you
13:06get the first dip at the tea bag, don't you? Roll on Sunday, then we can have a tea bag
13:10each. Ah, well, not this Sunday. We can't afford it. Oh, I know, I've fallen a bit behind
13:16with the housekeeping, Stan. Fallen behind? You never come under starter's orders. Well,
13:22it's not my fault, is it? All my money's in the house, she won't let me in. Why don't
13:27you talk to her nicely? No good. I think Lily and Walter have moved in for good. What makes
13:33you think that? They had the plumber round there this morning. He lowered the lavatory
13:38seat seven inches. Ah, no good, Stan. I've had it. Ey, aren't you drinking my shaving
13:47water? I know it tastes better than the bloody tea. One, two, three, four, five, six. Oh,
14:04careful, Nelly. Walter nearly had it up. Did he, Walter? Did he nearly have it up? That's
14:16all we need for Walter to get it up. Why don't you hurry up with housework and come
14:21and join us? It goes much quicker with three. So does the housework. Oh, yes, lovely. You
14:27know what's needed, don't you? Oh, you keep a lovely arm, Nelly. Well, though I says it.
14:34I mean, nobody can show me much about housework, and I can say that without fear of contraception.
14:43Hey, look, I'll give you that. You will have done behind the clock. Done behind the clock?
14:50What do you mean? Oh, nothing. I've been upstairs, downstairs and in me lady's chamber. What do
14:56you mean? Yes, look, that fender could do with the good going over. I know somebody else
15:01that could do with the good going over. Do you know, Nelly, I have some stuff at home
15:05that will bring that up a treat. Oh, you will. Why don't you go home and get it, eh? And
15:10then you can have a look at your house, you know. Well, what's about our house? Well,
15:15I mean, you've been away that long, it must be festering up. Oh, no, love. I've put dust
15:21sheets on it, love. It'll be all right. They're mums yet. Mums. At a time like this, you
15:27need somebody close. If we were any closer, we'd be wearing the same pair of corsets.
15:33Look, Nelly, everybody's entitled to their own private parts. I mean, aren't they? You
15:42and Walter, I mean, you're married. I mean, you must miss it. Oh, yes, love, we do. But
15:49we don't mind going without in a good cause, love. You're no trouble, love, honest. You
15:55mean you're going to oblige me by forcing yourself to stop for a bit longer? If necessary,
16:02love, forever and ever. Amen. It's not locked. Here, love. Oh, Nelly. How you doing? Oh,
16:26fine, fine. How are things with you? Oh, fine, fine. Nelly, I want to come home, Nelly. I
16:37wish you could. They won't budge. Well, chuck them out. I can't, they're family. Well, I'm
16:43family. I know, but she said she'd like you to stay there forever and ever, amen. And
16:50I'm sure after that they'll come back and haunt us. Oh, don't be daft. How can they
16:56Hang about. Not if we haunt them first. What do you mean, haunt them first? Well, you go
17:04on home and later on tonight... Nelly! What the hell's that for? That's for the funny
17:30phone calls. Put it down. Not here, you know, Nelly. I thought we were friends. I thought
17:40we were friends now. Well, we are friends now. Where's that Stan? I left him a note.
17:46He's coming round later on. Oh, Nelly, it's lovely to be back home. It is, honest. Well,
17:52it's not that lovely yet. Oh, that's nice. You mean that's nice. Well, I've been very
17:57busy setting the seeds. That's a hell of a time for gardening. You big girl's blouse.
18:04Not setting the seeds for haunting. I've told William and Walter, Nelly and Walter, about
18:11Collie Snodgrass. Oh, good. Who the hell's Collie Snodgrass? Collie Snodgrass was one
18:17of the biggest picklers round here in our factory. Was he? Yes, and one night he went
18:22berserk. Really? Yes, with a cucumber knife. And he went down the cellar and he barricaded
18:27himself in. Get off that. And when they went down to push down the door, there he was.
18:32Gone. Missing. Not there. That's a great ghost story, Nelly. How'd you manage to make that
18:40up? I didn't make it up. That happened while you were away. Oh, well. Do you mind if we
18:45leave our haunting till tomorrow? Oh, get out, you big softie. You don't believe in
18:50ghosts, do you? Oh, me? Yeah. I can think that. Do you think it weren't good? You try
19:05that again and you bloody soon will be. What do you want me to do? Nelly, how about if
19:12he goes to the window and makes faces at them? We just want them out. We don't want them
19:17frightening to death. Nick, you just wait here until you're needed. Now, you, Eli, come
19:23with me and let's get haunting. Right. Get moaning. I can't. Yeah, that's the only thing
19:34you are good at. Go on, get moaned. Get moaned. What do you think you are? The ghost of a
19:47pigeon with a colic. They can't hear me, can they? No. Get inside and shake it about a
19:56bit. Shake what about a bit? Your tranquilments. Shake them about a bit, then disappear. What,
20:05up the bloody chimney? Get in. Eli. Eli. Eli. That's for the bloody window. Don't mess
20:33about. It's them we want to see out, isn't it? Go on, do your worst. What, on the bed?
20:43Get spiritualising. Oh, right. It's not working, is it? You're not getting through. Do you think
21:05they're dead? No. Give me that laughter. Yeah, that's right. Go on. Here we go. Thank you,
21:24the singing nuns. Hey, we can't haunt a bloody couple of corpses. Well, what about that
21:32trick that you taught me when we were kids? What a memory. I'll show you what it was.
21:37Go on, then. Get down here, and you go like this. No, Walter, go to sleep. Get it out
21:53of her hand. You what? The sheet. Oh, the sheet. She won't let go. Put your arm out.
22:17Wait. Why? The man wasn't waking them up. We've been trying to wake them up, you daft
22:32old bat. Forgot. Hey. We've got to wake them up. It's a ticking earthquake. That's it.
22:41What? Get under the bed. You what? Make the earthquake. Oh, bloody Nora. Get quaking. I'm
22:48kidding you. Hey, I didn't know we had two. Walter brought us all down here. Hang on,
22:58I won't be long. Shake, shake. Shake, shake, shake. Behave yourself, Walter. I mean Lily.
23:20I mean Lily. Walter, are you all right? No, we're not all right. Get your clothes on,
23:24Walter. We're going home. Going home? Yes. Are you going home? I'm just fed up of all
23:27this. I can't stand it any longer. Oh, can't you, mate? Try as I might, I cannot sleep
23:31in a strange bed. Oh, can't you? Oh. Oh, well. Alone at last. Just the two of us. Yeah.
23:43Me and you. You and me.
23:52I can't stop dancing.
24:12I can't stop dancing.
24:42I can't stop dancing.
25:12Oh, that Eli. Not home yet. And it's quarter past two. In a dirty stop-out. Here am I,
25:28all by myself, on me own, with nobody with me, while he's out enjoying the flesh pots.
25:33I wonder if he's out with Atta Charrette from the Odeon. She won't need her torch to show
25:39him where to go. Well, he's had it. He's stopped his last stop-out. I've warned him. If you
25:50don't come in before midnight, you stay out. See that? That's his brains, isn't it? I'll
26:01push his ears that far back, he'll have to turn round to listen. I'll tell you, when
26:08I finish with him, he'll even limp when he talks. I wonder what can have happened to
26:17him. What am I worrying about? It's just like him not to have an accident for spite.
26:27Is that you, Eli?
26:28I walked in your room, stood by the bed. When you saw me, you acted unkind. You put on your
26:36nightie and pulled out the blinds. Oh, sweet home, be never so humble. There's no place
26:44to put the bloody key. All right, there you are, kid. I guess you came to tell me.
26:49I'll ring the bell for our Nellie. Come on, ring. Ding dong, ding dong, ding dong, ding
27:01dong. Oh, what's the matter with the flaming thing? Nellie, it's me, little Eli, at the
27:07inn. Nellie, Nellie, Nellie. I've come out here to see Nellie.