The phrase "nearest and dearest" often evokes a sense of warmth, family, and close relationships. It's a term that brings to mind the people we hold closest to our hearts—our family, friends, and loved ones. However, in the context of British television, "Nearest and Dearest" takes on a different meaning, referring to a classic sitcom that captured the hearts of many.
"Nearest and Dearest" was a British television sitcom that aired from 1968 to 1973. The show starred Hylda Baker and Jimmy Jewel as Nellie and Eli Pledge, siblings who inherit their father's pickle business in Colne, Lancashire. The series was known for its humor derived from the characters' squabbles, malapropisms, and the unique dynamics of a family-run business.
The premise of the show was simple yet effective: Nellie, a hard-working spinster, and Eli, a womanizing slacker, must run the family business together to inherit their father's fortune. This setup led to comedic situations and memorable catchphrases that are still recognized by fans of classic British comedy.
Despite the on-screen chemistry between Baker and Jewel, it was widely reported that the two did not get along off-screen, adding a layer of intrigue to the show's history. Their tumultuous relationship is often cited as one of the most toxic in British sitcom history.
"Nearest and Dearest" also serves as a cultural touchstone, reflecting the era's social norms and the changing landscape of British comedy. It's a show that, while rooted in the 1960s and 70s, continues to find new audiences who appreciate its wit and charm.
For those who grew up watching "Nearest and Dearest," the show remains a nostalgic reminder of a bygone era of television. And for newcomers, it offers a glimpse into the rich tapestry of British humor and the timeless appeal of family dynamics in storytelling.
Whether you're revisiting the series or discovering it for the first time, "Nearest and Dearest" stands as a testament to the enduring nature of well-crafted comedy and the universal themes of family and ambition. It's a piece of television history that continues to be nearest and dearest to many viewers' hearts.
Listen to our radio station Old Time Radio https://link.radioking.com/otradio
Listen to other Shows at My Classic Radio https://www.myclassicradio.net/
Entertainment Radio | Broadcasting Classic Radio Shows | Patreon
Remember that times have changed, and some shows might not reflect the standards of today’s politically correct society. The shows do not necessarily reflect the views, standards, or beliefs of Entertainment Radio
"Nearest and Dearest" was a British television sitcom that aired from 1968 to 1973. The show starred Hylda Baker and Jimmy Jewel as Nellie and Eli Pledge, siblings who inherit their father's pickle business in Colne, Lancashire. The series was known for its humor derived from the characters' squabbles, malapropisms, and the unique dynamics of a family-run business.
The premise of the show was simple yet effective: Nellie, a hard-working spinster, and Eli, a womanizing slacker, must run the family business together to inherit their father's fortune. This setup led to comedic situations and memorable catchphrases that are still recognized by fans of classic British comedy.
Despite the on-screen chemistry between Baker and Jewel, it was widely reported that the two did not get along off-screen, adding a layer of intrigue to the show's history. Their tumultuous relationship is often cited as one of the most toxic in British sitcom history.
"Nearest and Dearest" also serves as a cultural touchstone, reflecting the era's social norms and the changing landscape of British comedy. It's a show that, while rooted in the 1960s and 70s, continues to find new audiences who appreciate its wit and charm.
For those who grew up watching "Nearest and Dearest," the show remains a nostalgic reminder of a bygone era of television. And for newcomers, it offers a glimpse into the rich tapestry of British humor and the timeless appeal of family dynamics in storytelling.
Whether you're revisiting the series or discovering it for the first time, "Nearest and Dearest" stands as a testament to the enduring nature of well-crafted comedy and the universal themes of family and ambition. It's a piece of television history that continues to be nearest and dearest to many viewers' hearts.
Listen to our radio station Old Time Radio https://link.radioking.com/otradio
Listen to other Shows at My Classic Radio https://www.myclassicradio.net/
Entertainment Radio | Broadcasting Classic Radio Shows | Patreon
Remember that times have changed, and some shows might not reflect the standards of today’s politically correct society. The shows do not necessarily reflect the views, standards, or beliefs of Entertainment Radio
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FunTranscript
00:00I'm sorry, I can't help you.
00:02I'm sorry, I can't help you.
00:04I'm sorry, I can't help you.
00:06I'm sorry, I can't help you.
00:08I'm sorry, I can't help you.
00:10I'm sorry, I can't help you.
00:12I'm sorry, I can't help you.
00:14I'm sorry, I can't help you.
00:16I'm sorry, I can't help you.
00:18I'm sorry, I can't help you.
00:20I'm sorry, I can't help you.
00:22I'm sorry, I can't help you.
00:24I'm sorry, I can't help you.
00:26I'm sorry, I can't help you.
00:28TOO FACED CAT
00:30Too Faced Cat
00:32Too Faced Cat
00:34If I wash this brasserie any more, it'll be a see-through.
00:41This night has had some ups and downs.
00:47Oh, hello, yes, nicely, thank you.
00:49How's yourself?
00:51Oh, very good.
00:53Two-faced cat.
01:00Oh, you're good, aren't you?
01:02Hey, have you seen my string vest?
01:05I've been looking at it all morning. I know every knot in it.
01:08All right, short-arse, don't get both legs down one knicker.
01:12You'll have two ears on one side of your face in a minute.
01:15I'm telling you, it's taken me all morning to get this shirt white.
01:18I'm not surprised, it's supposed to be bloody pink.
01:22I've only one pair of brains, you know.
01:24I mean, I can't do everything.
01:26I've been up since six o'clock this morning, cleaning that horse out.
01:30We'll have to stop giving it milk stout.
01:33That reminds me, how about our breakfast?
01:36When I'm ready.
01:37Oh, hey, I didn't know we had a flag.
01:40That's not a flag, and that is not even a that.
01:43That is a those.
01:45Those are my best bloomers.
01:49Red, white and blue?
01:51Yes, I bought them at the coronation.
01:53All right, what do you do, take them off and wave them as the coach went by?
01:57Right, sure.
01:58Hey, I've never seen you wear them.
01:59I shouldn't think you have.
02:00I don't go flaunting my knickers in everybody's face.
02:03I'll tell you that.
02:05I only wear them on very special occasions.
02:07Oh, yes?
02:08Yes, royal birthdays and royal weddings.
02:12Come on, what about royal funerals?
02:14Do you wear them with dark masks?
02:17Come on, what about my flaming breakfast?
02:19That's you, isn't it, all over, eh?
02:21Bring me, fetch me, carry me.
02:22What about me?
02:23All my life, all I do is work and go to bed.
02:26One of these nights, you'll come over here
02:27and you'll find me at the bottom of that canal.
02:30Then what will you do?
02:31I'll tell you what I'll do.
02:32What?
02:33I'll take your knickers, I'll drape them over your coffin
02:36and I'll bury you at sea.
02:47Eli, have you seen it?
02:49My dad's box.
02:50Your what?
02:51My dad's musical box.
02:54Have you seen it?
02:56Why, do you want a tune? I like none of it.
02:58Oh, I know that.
02:59I've just been washing your flaming socks.
03:02My dad's musical box.
03:04It was definitely in there.
03:05Have you had it?
03:07Not lately.
03:09Look, it was definitely in there.
03:11We've been burgled.
03:12I'm going to fetch the bobbies.
03:13Oh, no, Nellie, no.
03:14I won't go for the bobbies, Nellie, no.
03:16Why not?
03:17Well, it's very unlucky.
03:19Unlucky too?
03:20Well, for the burglar.
03:22The burglar?
03:22Oh, shit, the burglar's blows.
03:24I'm going to phone the police.
03:26No, no, I won't, Nellie, no, no, no.
03:27I'll tell you what, it'll turn up and I'll have a look for it, eh?
03:31All right, then. I'll give you till tonight.
03:33Hello.
03:37Oh, what do you want, eh?
03:39You specky-eyed manure carrier.
03:44Eh, I'm ready to get the orders out, Miss Nellie.
03:47I've groomed Storm and I've gift carted good bollocks.
03:51All right.
03:52Who's riding shotgun, Walter?
03:56That's right, we can carry on as usual.
03:58Now, and think on no giving any lifts, you see, to hikers.
04:02Because there's a lot of hijacking going about.
04:07Wait, hey, there's something else.
04:09Could I have some money to buy a sun hat for the horse?
04:14You what?
04:15A sun hat for the horse.
04:17Oh, his head gets redder in this warm weather.
04:21Eh, they're selling them at market, they're only a pound.
04:24Fancy.
04:25Why don't you go down to the co-op and get him a blazer and a pair of flannels?
04:31Oh, you can't have a sun hat for the horse.
04:34Now, get out there and deliver those orders.
04:36No good, we'll have to have him put to sleep.
04:39No, Stan.
04:41Hey, which reminds me, Nellie.
04:43I'd better, I'd better get down there, see.
04:44Better get down there and get him a bit sharp, he's getting a bit old, you know.
04:47Get them orders out a bit sharpish.
04:49I'll see you a bit later, love, eh?
04:54Hey, Stanley, Stanley, hang on a minute, wait a minute.
04:56I've got a job for you.
04:58Hey, Miss Nellie says I've got to get the orders out.
05:01Never mind about that.
05:02Get down to that pawn shop in Accrington Road.
05:04Here, and don't spare the horse.
05:06Give him this fiver.
05:07What do you want to pawn a five pound note for?
05:11Stanley, I do not want to pawn a five pound note, you cloghead.
05:15It's to get me dad's musical box back.
05:17Oh, Mr. Heeler, have you pawned your dad's musical box?
05:23Well, he won't need it where he is, will he?
05:26I mean, where he is, it's all arts, innit?
05:29Hey, hey, well, I'll go if you'll give me some money for a sun hat for the horse.
05:35That's all I've got.
05:36Well, I won't go until I get some money for a sun hat for the horse.
05:39Look.
05:44Just go over the horse's ears, that will.
05:46There you are.
05:48Hey, hey, hey, it suits you.
05:53Come to think of it, it'll look better on the horse.
05:55Come on, get off, get off down there.
05:57Get that musical box back.
05:59I'm going down to Spenegal for a fine.
06:01Hurry up.
06:03Flowers that bloom in spring, ah, have nothing to do with the case.
06:07Flowers that bloom in spring, ah, have nothing to do with the case.
06:14Somebody's nicked me the case.
06:17Oh, my, my, my, my, my, my.
06:27Hello.
06:28Give me three number nines.
06:30No.
06:32I don't want the doctor.
06:33I want the police.
06:36Is that the police?
06:37I want to report a mystery.
06:39Yes.
06:40Yes, well, get down to Pledges Pure of Pickles straight away, if not sooner.
06:45I've been de-nickered.
06:47Oh, Walter, you give me a shock. I thought you were a fella.
06:54Whatever's happening?
06:56Oh, in our backyard, somebody's nicked me knickers.
07:01I've been ransacked.
07:04Did you put up a struggle?
07:06How could I?
07:08I suppose you were too strong for you.
07:10I don't know. We women with no chance against fellas like that.
07:14Just go out to the backyard and see if he's still there.
07:17I don't think there'll be anybody there now.
07:20Oh.
07:21No, I wouldn't care. I mean, they were out on the line.
07:24They were on the line, and I had to put them out for my blow, you see.
07:27And I just went out now. There they were, gone.
07:30Thanks.
07:31Come to something, isn't it?
07:33When you can't leave your own things on your own line.
07:36I wouldn't care, you know, but I'd only worn them twice, what I say.
07:40Twice. I mean, I'd only been out in them twice.
07:43I can't understand it, Nellie.
07:45A fella who gets a kick out of looking at your knickers, well, he must be out of his mind.
07:49Yes.
07:52What?
07:53Are you sure they were stolen? I mean, did they not just blow away in wind?
07:57Oh, they were anchored down, I mean, and there were two pegs in each leg.
08:02Maybe they'd taken a tycoon to blow them away.
08:05Well, I don't know what to think.
08:07Yeah, well, I do. We've been burglarised, that's what.
08:10I mean, my bloomers are not the only thing you know that's stolen.
08:13My dad's musical box has been stolen.
08:15You know, the one that Walter used to like to play with.
08:18I'm just saying, you like to play with it.
08:22He really fancied that box he did, you know.
08:26I'm just saying, you fancied it.
08:29Why don't you look at Walter? He's not had it.
08:32I'm not saying Walter's had it.
08:34I'm just saying, I know you've not had it.
08:38No, I know what's happened. We've been burglarised.
08:41The burglar's burgled in, he's burgled about a bit, and then he's burgled off.
08:47It's terrible when you're not safe in your own bed.
08:49I mean, I'm all right. I've got Walter.
08:51Yeah, well, I mean, you're quite safe in bed with Walter.
08:56There's been a lot of housebreakings going on.
08:58I'm only too glad it hasn't happened in our house.
09:00Yes. You were literally just saying you've not been housebroken.
09:04Has he been?
09:06I think he's been, yeah.
09:08Anyway, look, what are you going to do about it?
09:10Well, I'll just phone the police, you know.
09:12They should be here now, it's quarter past.
09:14Oh, I must get a little hand put on this horse.
09:17Oh, I can see him now. He's sat sitting in the little ponder car.
09:21Outside the chip shop.
09:23No wonder they call him the frying squad.
09:29Somebody at the door.
09:32Somebody at the door. He might be them.
09:39Oh.
09:40Good afternoon, madam. I'm Nicholas.
09:42That's funny.
09:44I'm Nicholas as well.
09:48Just tell the bobbies about it.
09:52There seems to be some confusion, madam.
09:55I'm Detective Sergeant Nicholas.
09:57Nicholas is my name, not my nature.
10:01I am a fool.
10:03Oh, you haven't had the pleasure of me yet.
10:07I'm Mrs Nelly Pledge. Won't you come in?
10:10This is my colleague, Detective Constable Simpkins.
10:13Oh, I wasn't expecting a lady policeman.
10:16It's quite usual in these cases of a delicate nature.
10:19Now, I will take your statement,
10:21and my colleague will investigate your backyard.
10:24I will investigate your backyard.
10:50Oh! Oh!
10:52Oh!
10:54Steady on, Eli.
10:56Couldn't do yourself a mischief.
10:58One false move,
11:00and there'll be the last time you get your leg over.
11:04Oh! Oh!
11:06Well... Oh!
11:08I better sing like a boy soprano from now on.
11:12Caught in the act.
11:13Who are you?
11:14I'm Detective Constable Simpkins.
11:16Oh, you must be the fair copperbird about.
11:18And you were the washing line robber.
11:20You broke into this yard for felonious purpose.
11:22No, no, I was just tiptoeing to the outside to it.
11:25And with intent to commit a nuisance?
11:27No, no, no, you've got it all wrong.
11:29I must warn you that anything you say will be taken down.
11:32Oh, well, in that case...
11:34Knickers!
11:38We shall, er...
11:40need to take your fingerprints.
11:42What do you want me fingerprints for?
11:44I don't wear me bloomers on me fingers.
11:46No, your prints will be on them.
11:48Your prints and all the others we find on the garment.
11:51What do you mean, all the others?
11:53You'll not find any Tom Harry or Dick's fingerprints on my bloomers.
11:58They're untouched by human hands.
12:00Apart from the thief, ma'am.
12:02Oh, yes.
12:03I've got a feeling about this case.
12:05Have you?
12:06It has all the marks of an inside job.
12:08Well, it can't be an inside job.
12:09There was nobody inside them when they went.
12:13No, I mean the culprit may be known to you.
12:16For instance, you, sir.
12:17Where were you this morning?
12:19You're not blaming it on our Walter?
12:21Oh, no, Lily.
12:22You mustn't mind this, you see,
12:23because they've got to alliterate all suspects.
12:27We shall want to know all about his movements.
12:31Pretty frequent.
12:34Let us now consider the missing musical box.
12:38Now, in your statement, you said,
12:40Uh, inlaid musical box inscribed on the inside lid
12:43to our chief from his loyal force.
12:45Now, is that correct?
12:46Yes.
12:47He brought it back, you see, from his buffalo lodge.
12:50Oh, my dad was a very big buffalo.
12:54Get up, get up, get up.
12:55Get your fingernails cut.
12:57Oh, is this Simpkins?
12:59Caught him in the yard, Sergeant.
13:00He affected an anterior of the gate.
13:02Good work. What's your name?
13:03Pledge.
13:04Is that your alias?
13:05No, he's our Eli.
13:06Our Eli.
13:08I flame you all live here, don't I?
13:10Here you are.
13:11I've got your musical box, Mr Eli.
13:13No, no, no, take it back, Sam.
13:14Push off, push off.
13:15Just a minute, just a minute.
13:16Let me see that.
13:17That's it, officer.
13:18That's the musical box that's been...
13:20Where did you get this?
13:22Perkins, the pawnbroker.
13:24Mr Eli gave me a ticket.
13:26That's you pawnbroking me dad's musical box.
13:28Well, it's not his now, it's mine, isn't it?
13:30My dad wanted me to have it.
13:31He left it to me.
13:32He didn't, he wanted me to have it.
13:33It's mine.
13:34It's mine.
13:35It's mine.
13:37It's mine.
13:39This musical box has been on our list of stolen goods since 1948.
13:44It was stolen from the late Chief Constable at a Buffalo's Lodge meeting.
13:51Now then, have you anything to say?
13:54Yes, it's his.
14:05It's his.
14:24Are you Eli Pledge?
14:25I didn't do it.
14:26I didn't do it.
14:27I didn't do it.
14:28Wait until you're asked.
14:29Are you Eli Pledge?
14:31He's...
14:33Yes, sir.
14:34You're charged with being in possession of stolen goods.
14:36To wit, one musical box.
14:38The rightful property of the late Chief Constable of this borough.
14:41Who brings the case?
14:42Sergeant Nicholas of the CID.
14:46And who appears to the prisoner?
14:49I don't seem to have anyone.
14:51I do, Your Holiness.
14:55Go on then, get lost.
15:00Are you qualified in legal matters?
15:03Oh, as much as many, and more than most.
15:06Your Eminence?
15:09I mean, have you studied the law?
15:11Oh, indut... Indutriably, of course.
15:14Ah, you're warlord.
15:19Four years with Perry Mason.
15:24And two years with Margaret Lockwood.
15:28I'm afraid...
15:29Oh, don't be afraid. I'll put everything right for you.
15:41The defence rests.
15:44Don't do it. Don't do it. Let it be.
15:47What do you mean, let it be? You might let it be, you'll get three months.
15:50Yes, and by the time you've finished, they'll bring back the cat.
15:53I've got no cats in our house, I'm telling you that.
15:55For a start.
15:56Oh, shut up. They're at it again.
15:58Proceed, Sergeant Nicholas.
16:00On the night of the...
16:02Correct.
16:05On what grounds?
16:06Oh, carry on, Your Prominence.
16:10I was just practising.
16:14Fourteenth inst.
16:15I was called to the prisoner's house to investigate the theft of an article of clothing.
16:19Knickers.
16:21Any more of that and I will fine you for contempt of court.
16:24But, Your Honour...
16:25Silence.
16:26What was the article of clothing?
16:28Knickers.
16:30Why don't you fine him, then?
16:33Will you please keep quiet and let us get on with the case?
16:36But, Your Honesty...
16:38Just a minute.
16:42Exhibit A.
16:44And what have these got to do with a musical box?
16:47Well, he brought them up.
16:48And she pulled them down.
16:52Shut up, you big fleas armpit.
16:54In a minute, I'll get him to fine you for contempt of me.
16:57Silence, of course.
16:58Sergeant, I would appreciate it if you would finish your deposition as quickly as possible.
17:03Very good, sir.
17:04Someone has a music box.
17:06Someone has some property the Chief Constable reported missing.
17:10Someone of a social function, 1948.
17:12Wonder if it's in the possession of a man. Pledge.
17:15Thank you, Sergeant. Very lucid.
17:18Hey, you've got the wrong man, you know.
17:20I'm innocent. Innocent. I'm an honest, honest innocent.
17:24Yes, I think we shall interpret that as a plea of not guilty.
17:27Oh, very well. Thanks, I'll be off.
17:29Stay where you are.
17:31Anything to add, Sergeant?
17:33When I charged the defendant, he made a certain suggestion to me.
17:38Oh, what exactly?
17:40I've written it down, Your Honour.
17:47It's impossible.
17:49Oh, not if he stands on a bucket.
17:54Oh, really, the sooner this is over, the better.
17:56Now then, Madam, would you like to examine the Sergeant?
17:59If you think I should.
18:06Would you mind going through that door and taking all your clothes off?
18:11No, no, no, no, no. I mean question him.
18:14Examine the evidence for the prosecution.
18:16Oh, I am a fool.
18:18You must excuse me, but this is the first time I've been in court for soliciting.
18:26I am not surprised.
18:28Well, it's all very well for the learned officer of the prostitution.
18:33He is a professional. I am a mere amateur.
18:37Oh, do get on with it.
18:39Very well, Your Excellency.
18:42Now, it is very simple, the case for the defence.
18:45We shall seek to prove three things.
18:48In the first place, he didn't do it.
18:51In the second place, he didn't mean to do it.
18:54And in the third place, he wasn't in the second place in the first place.
19:01I beg your pardon?
19:03Granted.
19:04And furthermore, Your Effluence, the evidence is purely circumcisional.
19:10I only called him in to find Exhibit A.
19:14Nicholas.
19:15Aye, watch it, son.
19:17Your Honour, the undergarment is irrelevant.
19:20It is not.
19:21It's perfectly good British linen with a double gusset.
19:27Once I saw the musical box, I had to proceed,
19:29otherwise I would have fallen down on the job in my submission.
19:32There you are. He's admitted it. One fall, one submission. He's lost.
19:35There you are. He's admitted it. One fall, one submission. He's lost.
19:41Yes, I think I have heard enough in this case.
19:43Have you finished, Madam?
19:45Erm, are you going to let him go?
19:47No.
19:48Well, have him finish then.
19:50I shall call a surprise witness.
19:54A surprise witness?
19:55Yes.
19:56Why?
19:57I don't know.
19:58They're always doing it on televisions.
20:02Oh, very well. Thank you, Sergeant.
20:04Call your surprise witness.
20:06Thank you, Your Horseshaft.
20:13Call Nelly Pledge.
20:14Call Nelly Pledge.
20:15Call Nelly Pledge.
20:16Oh, that's me.
20:25I do.
20:26I do.
20:31You are Nelly Pledge of world-famous Pledge's Pickles,
20:35piquant and pure.
20:40I am.
20:45Your Majesty, as Shakespeare said,
20:48the quality of mercies is not sprained,
20:51and I'm sure that yours isn't.
20:54So, I shall put the witness in the box on her own by herself
20:57with nobody with her.
20:59May the best man win, so long as it is she.
21:05Your Mastership,
21:07I think I can say without fear of contraception
21:11that the case against our Eli will not hold water.
21:16Not you, Walter.
21:19Your Maintenance,
21:22my dad loved that musical box.
21:25Oh, I take it he had a good ear for music?
21:28No, he didn't know one tune from another.
21:31But I've seen him stood standing there at attention
21:34with his hat off when the band has only been playing
21:37ragtime Joe Boy Cow.
21:40When he was lay lying there on the throes of death,
21:44he liked me to sing to him
21:47because he said my singing was better than castor oil.
21:53Oh, it was very moving.
21:57And what has all this to do with the case in hand?
22:00Oh, you shall hear.
22:02Eli, tell his terminus
22:05what tune was in that box.
22:09No, I don't like.
22:11Oh, come, come, pledge.
22:12No, you'll only carry on if I do.
22:14Very well, I shall find out for myself.
22:17Clark, I shall open the box.
22:20Take the money!
22:22Silence!
22:31If I'd have said that, you'd have had my guts regarded.
22:36Now, you see, you understand why
22:38the Chief of Police didn't care for that tune there.
22:42He wanted something more classical,
22:44like the Jewel Song from Soust.
22:46Oh, or the bum of the flight will be
22:49by Rip the Corset Song.
22:53So he gave it to me, Dad.
22:55With respect, sir, the Chief Constable did say
22:57the box was stolen from him.
22:59Oh, yes, that was because it was a present.
23:01He didn't want to hurt the feelings of those people
23:04who had given it to him.
23:06Sergeant Nicholas,
23:08the recording angel may be able to get to the bottom of this case.
23:11I certainly cannot.
23:15The case is dismissed.
23:20Uh, Pledge.
23:21Yes, Clark?
23:23I would point out, however,
23:25that I never wish to see you before me again.
23:28And that, madam, applies to you, too.
23:31Thank you, your pestilence.
23:35Elizabeth, I always knew you'd get me off, you know.
23:38But I didn't know that the Chief Constable
23:40had given our dad that musical box.
23:42Why didn't you tell me?
23:44Well, I couldn't.
23:45Why not?
23:46I only just made it up.
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25:37I won't watch this brasserie any more.
25:39It'll be a see-through.
25:42Ah!
25:44This night has had some ups and downs.
25:49Oh, hello, yes, nicely, thank you.
25:52How's yourself?
25:54Oh, very good.
25:56Two-faced cat.
26:02Oh, you're good, aren't you?
26:05Hey, have you seen my string vest?
26:07I've been looking at it all morning.
26:09I know every knot in it.
26:11All right, short-arse.
26:13Don't get both legs down one knicker.
26:15You'll have two ears on one side of your face in a minute.
26:18It's taken me all morning to get this shirt white.
26:21Not surprised it's supposed to be bloody pink.
26:25I've only one pair of brains, you know.
26:27I mean, I can't do everything.
26:29I've been up since six o'clock this morning
26:31cleaning that horse out.
26:33We'll have to stop giving it milk stout.
26:36That reminds me, how about our breakfast?
26:38When I'm ready.
26:40Oh, hey, I didn't know we had a flag.
26:42That's not a flag.
26:44And that is not even a that.
26:46That is a those.
26:48Those are my best bloomers.
26:52Red, white and blue?
26:54Yes, I bought them at the coronation.
26:56All right, what do you do, take them off and wear them as the coach went by?
26:59Right, sure.
27:01Hey, I've never seen you wear them.
27:02I shouldn't think you have.
27:03I don't go flaunting my knickers in everybody's face.
27:06I'll tell you that.
27:08I only wear them on very special occasions.
27:10Oh, yes.
27:11Yes, royal birthdays and royal weddings.
27:14Come on.
27:15What about royal funerals?
27:16Do you wear them a dark mask?
27:20Come on, what about my flaming breakfast?
27:22That's you, isn't it, all over, eh?
27:24Bring me, fetch me, carry me.
27:25What about me?
27:26My life, how all I do is work and go to bed.
27:29One of these nights you'll come over here
27:31and you'll find me at the bottom of that canal.