The phrase "nearest and dearest" often evokes a sense of warmth, family, and close relationships. It's a term that brings to mind the people we hold closest to our hearts—our family, friends, and loved ones. However, in the context of British television, "Nearest and Dearest" takes on a different meaning, referring to a classic sitcom that captured the hearts of many.
"Nearest and Dearest" was a British television sitcom that aired from 1968 to 1973. The show starred Hylda Baker and Jimmy Jewel as Nellie and Eli Pledge, siblings who inherit their father's pickle business in Colne, Lancashire. The series was known for its humor derived from the characters' squabbles, malapropisms, and the unique dynamics of a family-run business.
The premise of the show was simple yet effective: Nellie, a hard-working spinster, and Eli, a womanizing slacker, must run the family business together to inherit their father's fortune. This setup led to comedic situations and memorable catchphrases that are still recognized by fans of classic British comedy.
Despite the on-screen chemistry between Baker and Jewel, it was widely reported that the two did not get along off-screen, adding a layer of intrigue to the show's history. Their tumultuous relationship is often cited as one of the most toxic in British sitcom history.
"Nearest and Dearest" also serves as a cultural touchstone, reflecting the era's social norms and the changing landscape of British comedy. It's a show that, while rooted in the 1960s and 70s, continues to find new audiences who appreciate its wit and charm.
For those who grew up watching "Nearest and Dearest," the show remains a nostalgic reminder of a bygone era of television. And for newcomers, it offers a glimpse into the rich tapestry of British humor and the timeless appeal of family dynamics in storytelling.
Whether you're revisiting the series or discovering it for the first time, "Nearest and Dearest" stands as a testament to the enduring nature of well-crafted comedy and the universal themes of family and ambition. It's a piece of television history that continues to be nearest and dearest to many viewers' hearts.
Listen to our radio station Old Time Radio https://link.radioking.com/otradio
Listen to other Shows at My Classic Radio https://www.myclassicradio.net/
Entertainment Radio | Broadcasting Classic Radio Shows | Patreon
Remember that times have changed, and some shows might not reflect the standards of today’s politically correct society. The shows do not necessarily reflect the views, standards, or beliefs of Entertainment Radio
"Nearest and Dearest" was a British television sitcom that aired from 1968 to 1973. The show starred Hylda Baker and Jimmy Jewel as Nellie and Eli Pledge, siblings who inherit their father's pickle business in Colne, Lancashire. The series was known for its humor derived from the characters' squabbles, malapropisms, and the unique dynamics of a family-run business.
The premise of the show was simple yet effective: Nellie, a hard-working spinster, and Eli, a womanizing slacker, must run the family business together to inherit their father's fortune. This setup led to comedic situations and memorable catchphrases that are still recognized by fans of classic British comedy.
Despite the on-screen chemistry between Baker and Jewel, it was widely reported that the two did not get along off-screen, adding a layer of intrigue to the show's history. Their tumultuous relationship is often cited as one of the most toxic in British sitcom history.
"Nearest and Dearest" also serves as a cultural touchstone, reflecting the era's social norms and the changing landscape of British comedy. It's a show that, while rooted in the 1960s and 70s, continues to find new audiences who appreciate its wit and charm.
For those who grew up watching "Nearest and Dearest," the show remains a nostalgic reminder of a bygone era of television. And for newcomers, it offers a glimpse into the rich tapestry of British humor and the timeless appeal of family dynamics in storytelling.
Whether you're revisiting the series or discovering it for the first time, "Nearest and Dearest" stands as a testament to the enduring nature of well-crafted comedy and the universal themes of family and ambition. It's a piece of television history that continues to be nearest and dearest to many viewers' hearts.
Listen to our radio station Old Time Radio https://link.radioking.com/otradio
Listen to other Shows at My Classic Radio https://www.myclassicradio.net/
Entertainment Radio | Broadcasting Classic Radio Shows | Patreon
Remember that times have changed, and some shows might not reflect the standards of today’s politically correct society. The shows do not necessarily reflect the views, standards, or beliefs of Entertainment Radio
Category
😹
FunTranscript
00:30Oh, excuse me, but am I right in assumptioning that this is Backside Farm?
00:45Woodside Farm.
00:47Oh, silly me, I am a fool.
00:51I don't know my Backside... I mean, my...
00:55Well, we're booked here, you see, and there's four of us, and we're booked for the week.
01:01Pledge is the name.
01:02Ah, yes.
01:03Just a minute, while I tell my party that everything is all right.
01:11Right, get out of that taxi, you.
01:13Eli, pay the fella.
01:18What a nice place you have here. I like the decorating.
01:22What do you use, Ready Dipped?
01:28A tip, mate. I'll give you a tip. Never put your underpants on backwards.
01:33And you.
01:36Why are you showing me up like that?
01:38Hey, no, it's a funny sort of farm, this, isn't it?
01:40Haven't seen a cow yet, or a sheep.
01:43Mind you, I have now.
01:46It was quite a righty lie for you to not give that taxi driver a tip.
01:50Our Walter left something for him in back.
01:52I know, I put my hand in it as I got out.
01:55Now I know why they call them bucket seats.
01:57Oh, shut up, you flamer. Go and put your Walter down.
02:02Er, it's all right now. We're all here.
02:05Good. May I say welcome to Woodside Farm?
02:10In a moment, the Chief will be here to welcome you himself.
02:13Chief? What is he, a bloody Red Indian?
02:16Hurry up. What's he doing?
02:18He's making sure we're safe and sound.
02:21We can't get out.
02:22Oh, stop grumbling, you big fleas armpit.
02:24Oh, Nellie, I'm not grumbling.
02:26I'm not grumbling. I'm glad we came to a holiday farm for a bit of a rest, you know.
02:30I mean, plenty of good ale, good beer.
02:32Yes, touch the local girls up a bit, poke a few pigs.
02:35Get on.
02:37Oh, to sow and mow and reap, I'd be your farmer's boy.
02:42I'd be your farmer's boy.
02:44You will sow and reap. You're not sowing any wild oats here, I'll tell you.
02:48Besides, this is a health farm.
02:50Oh, really? You are?
02:53Good morning, good morning, good morning.
02:55Bloody hell, I feel as though I've been here three days already.
02:59I am Dr Scott, your guide, philosopher and friend.
03:03Oh, you haven't had the pleasure of me yet, have you?
03:07I'm the Miss Nellie Pledge, and this here here is my brother Eli, Dr Croc.
03:13Scott.
03:14No, he's Lancashire. We all are.
03:16No, no, I am Scott.
03:18Oh.
03:19All right, Jock, all right. Don't get your prebrocks in a quiver.
03:22Take no notice of him. He doesn't really know where he is.
03:25No.
03:26Yes, I can see all the signs.
03:28When the body goes to rack and ruin, the brain often suffers too.
03:32Hang about, Cock. I thought I was coming to a proper farm for a nice little holiday.
03:36I don't want to be messed about with a lot of doctors, you know.
03:38And if you think you're keeping me here, you're very much, very much...
03:42Who's that?
03:43That is Miss Pringle, and she is a masseuse.
03:45Oh, what a pity. She looks the picture of health.
03:50No, no, Miss Pringle is a physiotherapist.
03:53Oh.
03:54A what-apist?
03:55It's when they keep wanting to have a drink, you know.
03:59It's what they call, you know, an alcoholic.
04:03No, no. Miss Pringle's job is to take a broken and decrepit human body,
04:08as, for instance, Mr Pledge is here,
04:11and by using her hands on that body to make it glowing and vibrant again.
04:17Oh.
04:19Well, darling, now we're here, we may as well get unpacked.
04:23Your new arrivals are in the waiting room, Doctor.
04:26Ah, yes, the Pledge party. Tell me, have they paid in advance?
04:29Oh, yes, sir.
04:30Good, that man Pledge looks like a troublemaker to me.
04:33Send him in first, I'll have the others later.
04:35Yes, sir.
04:37Oh, Mr Pledge.
04:42Now, look, come.
04:44There's no wrong with me, I'm as fit as a pork butcher's dog.
04:48All I need is a touch of the oil massage, that's all, just a touch of the...
04:52What are you doing?
04:53No smoking at Woodside Farm, Mr Pledge.
04:56I need those for me bloody cough.
05:02Now then, Mr Pledge, do you drink?
05:04Oh, tar very much, yes.
05:06I was not offering you a drink, I was enquiring about your drinking habits.
05:09Oh.
05:10Do you go into public houses much?
05:12Only to get a drink.
05:14And how much do you drink?
05:16Oh, about two a day.
05:18And how much do you drink?
05:19Oh, about two a day.
05:21Two pints per day.
05:23Gallant.
05:26At Woodside Farm we have a motto,
05:28be smart with your heart, be shrewd with your food,
05:31and be good with your blood.
05:33I'd sooner mingle with Miss Pringle.
05:37I beg your pardon?
05:38No, you see, I've just got this muscle trouble up here,
05:40it gets me like that sometimes, I can't move.
05:42All I need is a touch of the practice hands.
05:44Very well, report to Miss Pringle,
05:47and give her this, it tells her exactly what you require.
05:54And tell the others I'd like them to step in.
05:57Step in what?
06:00What, step in?
06:03Ah, good morning, please be seated.
06:10There's your Walter.
06:15Sorry.
06:17Oh, very good.
06:19Now then, ladies, why have you come to Woodside Farm?
06:23I will tell you why.
06:26You have come seeking health, and above all, beauty.
06:33Well, I can give you beauty.
06:36Oh, thank you, very glad.
06:39Beauty where it really counts, inside.
06:44Oh, well, we were rather hoping for more of an outside job.
06:50Of course, much can be achieved by getting rid of excess weight.
06:53For instance, in your case, Miss Pledge,
06:55we could cut out the carbohydrates.
06:58Oh, well, it hurts.
07:02And in the case of this lady,
07:04correct posture might work wonders.
07:06Shoulders back, chest out.
07:09Chest out.
07:11A chest is out.
07:15As I was saying, ladies, true beauty comes from within.
07:18You see, the human body is like, well, it is like a motor car.
07:22Ah, that's very true.
07:24When it's shiny and new, everybody wants a ride.
07:30Quite.
07:31Then, when your body work starts to go,
07:35in a bit, what are you?
07:37An old banger.
07:41Quite, quite.
07:42I was thinking of the human body, Miss Pledge,
07:44more in terms of the engine.
07:46Given proper care and the correct fuel,
07:48your body will take you a long way.
07:51Especially if you have a big purr of headlamps.
08:01I've come for it.
08:04Beg your pardon?
08:05Oh, you know, the touch of the old Swedish massage.
08:09Oh, the doctor says I've got to have it.
08:11It's a matter of life and death.
08:12Oh, it's as bad as that, is it?
08:14Oh, I'm dying for it, I told him so.
08:16Well, take your robe off, please.
08:18Yes, sure.
08:24And lie on the couch.
08:28Face down, please.
08:30Oh, kinky, eh?
08:34Now then, you don't have to be shy with me.
08:36No, no, I'm a big, strong, healthy lad, you know.
08:39Don't give me that.
08:41Ooh, ooh, do as you like it.
08:44Ooh, you're giving me goose pimples all down me back.
08:52Well, ladies, I've told you the diet and the treatment
08:55I shall be giving you.
08:56The rest is up to you.
08:59Yes.
09:01Is there something else?
09:03Well, it's our Walter, really.
09:06I mean, it's only a little thing.
09:11Oh, yes?
09:12Well, I mean, what we really came for, you see,
09:15was for our Lily, because he's her husband.
09:19I was hoping you could, like, do something for him, Doctor.
09:22Give him something.
09:24Yes, sort of perk him up a bit, you know.
09:27I'm just saying, you want perking up.
09:31Well, he wants something up.
09:35You see what it is, Doctor?
09:37He's been run down recently.
09:39Yes, two little lads on a bogey.
09:43Never stopped to ask him if he'd hurt himself enough, then.
09:47And you want me to give him a new lease of life?
09:50Oh, or even a short holiday.
09:54Well, I like a challenge. We can but try.
09:57Hear that, Walter?
09:59The Doctor's got to take you in hand.
10:01He's got to put you back on top.
10:03And if...
10:05If you should slip, like you do, don't worry.
10:09The Doctor will be there to put you back on top.
10:28SILENCE
10:34MUSIC
10:42HE GROANS
10:46HE GROANS
10:50HE GROANS
10:53HE GROANS
10:55Only another 96 to go.
10:58Ah!
11:00Tell with it.
11:02I'll do it again.
11:04I'll do the rest after dinner.
11:06HE GROANS
11:08I know. What do you say?
11:10Think beautiful thoughts.
11:14Ooh!
11:17Doctor Gray, think beautiful thoughts.
11:22Rose petals in the sunshine.
11:24Little birdies twittering their songs.
11:30A turkey sandwich.
11:32Full of stuffing, with a big dollop of piccoli on top of it.
11:36No. No, no. Ha-ha-ha.
11:39Think beautiful thoughts.
11:43A lovely meadow, with a stream running through it.
11:47Trickle, trickle, trickle.
11:51I wonder if Walter's been.
11:57Oi, Miss World.
12:00What do you think you're doing?
12:02I'm thinking beautiful thoughts, you great nosebleed.
12:06What the hell for?
12:08Because, Doctor Croc says,
12:10to be beautiful, you have to think beautiful.
12:13Well, by the look of you, for the last 30 years,
12:16you must have been thinking about an elephant's behind.
12:19I'll inhale that remark.
12:21Real beauty, true beauty, is not outside.
12:25I've got beauty inside me.
12:28Have you? It's a pity none of it tried to get out.
12:33Say what you like, Eli Pledge.
12:36I mean, this place is doing me good.
12:39Is it? Yes, it is.
12:42I feel like an 18-year-old.
12:45So do I, but where can you get one of this dump?
12:50I'm just fed up with you. Why did he come here?
12:53I didn't know I was flaming well coming, did I?
12:55Well, why don't you get gone? There's nothing stopping you, is there?
12:58Oh, get gone. That's marvellous, that, isn't it?
13:01Bolts on the doors downstairs, bars on all the windows.
13:04It's like a flaming prison, that's what it is.
13:07Well, they have to be firm with you. It's for your own good.
13:10You see, look at me. I mean, I'm not grumbling, you know.
13:14I mean... Anyway, we've paid for the week.
13:17We're going to stop for the week. What the hell for?
13:20Well, when we leave this place,
13:23we're going to be fit and healthy if it kills us.
13:26And it will kill us. It will kill us.
13:29I haven't had a fag for three days.
13:32Or a drink.
13:34Oh, Mary, I'm hungry.
13:37I'm hungry!
13:39Yes, well, don't be like that.
13:41I mean, they don't give us much, I know, but it's full of vitamins.
13:45I don't like vitamins, though.
13:47I like chips and bacon butties.
13:50Puddings.
13:52Steak and kidney pie.
13:54Some dipped in butter.
13:56No!
13:58Jam rolling poorly, Nelly!
14:00I'll kill you!
14:02Nelly, aren't you hungry? Aren't you hungry?
14:05Hungry? I could eat a dead rat.
14:11But I can control myself.
14:15I'm not like you,
14:17stood standing there slurring all down yourself,
14:20waiting for the dinner gong to go.
14:23That's it!
14:29I see Walter's ready for it.
14:32I'm just saying you're ready for it.
14:35Oi, the only thing he's ready for is the knackery yard.
14:39Shut up, you.
14:41Is he doing him any good, this treatment, you know?
14:44I mean, like, is there...
14:47Has there been anything to show for it?
14:50Not yet.
14:52Well, you'd think the doctor would sort of prescribe a...
14:56a poultice on it, wouldn't you, to bring it out?
14:59I'm just saying you want to bring it out.
15:02Mind you, he likes that special food the doctor's given him.
15:06Oh, yes.
15:08He does, he does. He can put it away.
15:11I'm saying you can put it away.
15:14Why don't you make your mind up?
15:16First you want him to bring it out, then you want him to put it away.
15:20You shut up. I'm talking to the patient, not the disease.
15:26And, um, is it any better...
15:30when it goes dark?
15:33Well, not really.
15:35Now, the doctor says that our Walter suffers from shallow sleep.
15:39Is that why he wakes up in six inches of water?
15:42No, you don't understand.
15:44You see, the human body is like a motor car.
15:47Ah, well, you should have had Walter under seal.
15:49Oh, shut up, you big girl's blouse.
15:51Our Lily's had everything, you know.
15:53Has she?
15:54Oh, yes. She's had the steam baths and the Turkish baths.
15:57There's only one thing she hasn't had.
15:59And we all know what that is, don't we, Walter?
16:01Massage.
16:02Oh.
16:03No, you shouldn't either.
16:05I realised I'd had that massage.
16:07Oh, yes, it's terrible, terrible, terrible.
16:09Oh, yes, they take all your clothes off you,
16:12and they lay lying you down on a couch.
16:14Yeah, and a big fella comes in.
16:17Yes, and he picks you up and throws you and brings you down again.
16:20Well, while I'm here, I suppose I ought to have it.
16:26Aye, aye, the grub's up.
16:28This table's on special menu for the rest of the week.
16:31The doctor says you're ready for it.
16:33Oh, jolly good, jolly good, jolly good.
16:40What are we supposed to do with that?
16:42That's your dinner.
16:44What, for the rest of the week?
16:45Doctor's orders.
16:47Anything for it.
16:49Send out, er, er, SFS.
16:52You mean an SOS?
16:54I mean an SFS. Send for Stan.
16:57Get on that telephone and tell him to get over here quick with a cartload of food.
17:02And you, come on here with that. What are you playing at?
17:05Hey, hey, hey!
17:11Where's that specky-eyed manure carrier?
17:14Look at the time. It's ten past...
17:16Oh, I must get a little ham put on this watch.
17:19Hey, look, come here. I think I can hear something.
17:21Yeah?
17:22Hey, that, that's our awesome cart.
17:24Yeah?
17:25That squeaky sound anywhere?
17:27That's our awesome left back leg.
17:29Yeah?
17:30Hey, Stanley, is that you?
17:32Oof!
17:37I'll kill him! I'll kill him!
17:39No, no, no.
17:40You stupid old git!
17:42Oh, hello, Eli.
17:44Hey, you said I'm born to throw someone up against window.
17:48Not when I've got me head stuck through, you daft old twat!
17:52Is that you? Is that you, Stanley?
17:54Yes, well, have you got the ladder?
17:55Yeah.
17:56Well, come on, then. We'll have it up against the wall.
18:05I'm ready when you are, Miss Nelly.
18:08I was talking about the ladder, you crate-head!
18:12By hell, Miss Nelly.
18:14This holiday's doing you good.
18:16You look very bonny.
18:18Thank you very glad.
18:20Yeah. You put a bit of weight on.
18:24I haven't, I haven't.
18:26Yes, you have.
18:27You know, you've filled out nicely.
18:29I've filled it well, haven't you, you spiky-eyed bum-pot?
18:33Hey, Miss Nelly!
18:35You've done it now. You're not me knackered old nose-bag.
18:38I don't care.
18:39You're a bow-legged, big-bellied, burlesque boy.
18:41Come on, Eli. Let's have a look if he's all right.
18:43Are you all right, Stanley?
18:44He's all right.
18:45What is he?
18:46No harm done.
18:47Fell on his head.
18:48Eh?
18:49Ah, think on.
18:50Box clever.
18:51Get the grub first, then thump him.
18:53Right.
18:55Stanley?
18:57I'm sorry I gave you a shove just then.
19:00Oh, it's all right, Miss Nelly.
19:02It was only a love-chat.
19:04I like it when you flirt with me.
19:07I'll flirt with you any time.
19:10I hope you brought plenty of food, Stanley,
19:12otherwise we'll have to eat the horse.
19:13Yes.
19:14And I don't fancy our Nelly's end.
19:15I've got plenty of stuff.
19:17Yeah, well, get it up here and we'll have it.
19:20Oh, Miss Nelly, you're leading me on again.
19:24The food, the food!
19:26Yes, where the hell's the flaming food?
19:28Oh, eh, eh, well, it set me back a few quid.
19:31Oh, blimey.
19:32Here, there you are.
19:33And money for my petrol.
19:35Oh, money for the petrol.
19:37Petrol, you gave me the flaming horse and car.
19:40I'll thump him, I'll thump him.
19:42No, no, you don't do that.
19:43You get the food from him first and then thump him.
19:46Oh, all right.
19:48Miss Nelly.
19:49Yeah.
19:50Cigarettes.
19:51Oh, cigarettes.
19:52Cigarettes.
19:53Beer.
19:54Beer.
19:55That's what I want, the beer.
19:56What about the food, the food?
19:57Well, Mr Eli said to bring the necessities.
20:02Wait till I get my strength back.
20:05I'll kill you, you dehydrated dropout.
20:08Oh, Nelly.
20:09Eh, eh, I brought a roast chicken.
20:11Oh, a chicken.
20:12Chicken.
20:13Oh, chicken.
20:14Hey, are you in now?
20:15That's not the clock.
20:17Here you go, man.
20:18Here, you have it.
20:19No, you have it.
20:20No, you have it, you have it.
20:21No, you have it.
20:22No, you have it.
20:23Oh, wait a minute, wait a minute.
20:24Yes.
20:25Oh, stand up.
20:26Ah, yes.
20:27Get out.
20:28Oh.
20:32All alone, I am so all alone.
20:34No one else but me.
20:37All alone.
20:38Are you alone, Miss Page?
20:39I thought I heard voices.
20:41Yes, I'm no, no.
20:42How can I be alone?
20:43I mean, you're here, the two of us together, on our own with nobody with us.
20:51What was that?
20:52Manners.
20:55Better out than in.
20:57Miss Page, I want you to get the maximum benefit from your stay here at Woodside Farm.
21:02Is there anything you need?
21:03Anything I can do for you?
21:05Yes, there is, Doctor.
21:07Will you come and sit down?
21:13Well, it's no use beating about the bush.
21:16I'm not getting enough of it.
21:19I beg your pardon?
21:21Well, I mean, I've got to have it, you see.
21:24I get plenty of it at home.
21:27Miss Page, what you do at home is no concern of mine.
21:30But I need it.
21:31If you'll just give me a bit.
21:33I mean, I promise you, I won't ask for a second helping.
21:38Miss Page, what you're asking is quite out of the question.
21:41Good heavens, I'm amazed at you, Miss Page.
21:44Drinking and smoking.
21:45I don't care for drinking and smoking.
21:47It's the other thing I want.
21:50And now you throw yourself at me in this shameless fashion.
21:53Do you know what would happen if I succumbed to your temptations?
21:56I would be struck off.
22:00Struck off?
22:02For a plate of hot pot?
22:06Hey, you, where's that chicken?
22:12You great guts and gallop, are you?
22:16It needed a bit of stuffing.
22:18Needed a bit of what?
22:19Stuffing.
22:20It's not the only thing that wants stuffing round here.
22:24I'm getting fed up with you shooting off this ladder.
22:28Oh, Stanley, I'm ever so sorry I pushed you like that.
22:32But you see, if the dog could see you...
22:37Oh, it's you, Lily.
22:39I can't come without food yet.
22:41Only Walter says he could fancy a nibble.
22:45Yeah, I came with it, but got to be over here eating it all.
22:48Oh, and I'm dying for it.
22:51We're talking about food, not your private life.
22:54Hey, I don't know what you all want to stop me for.
22:57You've got nowt to eat and you've nowt to do except shove folk off ladders.
23:02Why don't you all come home with me?
23:05You four-eyed tater, what do you mean, come home with you?
23:08What about these iron bars and everything we can't get out?
23:11Oh, aye.
23:27Lovely.
23:29What are we waiting for? Come on.
23:35Lily, aren't you coming?
23:36No, I think Walter and me had best be stopping.
23:41We've got the horse and cart, you know, and you said you were hungry.
23:44Well, I am.
23:45But if Walter can bend iron bars after he's been here three days,
23:48what's it going to be like at the end of the week?
23:53All that on a glass of turnip juice.
23:55Oi, Nelly, come on, don't hang about.
23:57I've been hanging about here all night.
23:59Get your head through first.
24:01Come on, then, I'll pull you through.
24:04Oh, Nelly!
24:08Nelly, hang on to me.
24:33APPLAUSE
25:03SILENCE
25:33MUSIC
25:43Oh!
25:45Excuse me.
25:46But am I right in assumptioning that this is Backside Farm?
25:52Woodside Farm.
25:53Oh!
25:55Silly me, I am a fool!
25:57I don't know my Backside... I mean, my...
26:00Well, we're booked here, you see, and there's four of us,
26:04and we're booked for the week.
26:06Pledge is the name.
26:07Ah, yes.
26:08Just a minute while I tell my party that everything is all right.
26:16Right, get out of that taxi, you.
26:18Eli, pay the fella.
26:23What a nice place you have here.
26:25I like the decorating.
26:27Did you use ready-dipped?
26:31A tip, mate? I'll give you a tip.
26:33Never put your underpants on backwards.
26:36And you.
26:37Shut up, you...
26:38The way you're showing me up like that.
26:40Hey, Nelly, it's a funny sort of farm, isn't it?
26:43I haven't seen a cow yet, or a sheep.
26:46Mind you, I have now.
26:49It was quite right, Eli, for you not to give that taxi driver a tip.
26:53Our Walter left something for him in back.
26:55I know, I put my hand in it as I got out.
26:58Now I know why they call them bucket seats.
27:00Oh, shut up, you flamer.
27:02Go and put your Walter down.
27:05Er, it's all right now.
27:07We're all here.
27:08Good.
27:09May I say welcome to Woodside Farm?
27:12Oh.
27:13In a moment, the chief will be here to welcome you himself.
27:17Chief? What is he, a bloody red Indian?
27:22Hurry up, what's he doing?
27:24He's making sure we're safe and sound.
27:26Making sure we're safe and sound?
27:28We can't get out.
27:30Oh, stop grumbling, you big fleas armpit.
27:32Oh, Nelly, I'm not grumbling.
27:34I'm not grumbling, I'm glad we came through.