A hapless fire crew are given the ultimatum: put out a fire successfully or else be sacked. They fail miserably, and their ancient fire engine is stolen by criminals attempting to steal the crown jewels from the Tower of London.
Source: IMDB
Source: IMDB
Category
🎥
Short filmTranscript
00:01:00What brigades have we got?
00:01:12Ten, we've got it, but...
00:01:13They'll put through a general at arm.
00:01:14We can't hold this.
00:01:15Call out every available brigade in the area, and hurry.
00:01:16Right, sir.
00:01:47One, two, three, four, five, six, seven, six.
00:01:54What?
00:01:55You're teaching me how to play this game.
00:01:56So I am.
00:01:57What do you want to tell me to make a move like that?
00:01:58I'm teaching you the first rule of the game.
00:01:59Well, what rule's that?
00:02:00Never trust the man you're playing with.
00:02:01Come on, you won't be a stand-up.
00:02:02Oh, do I?
00:02:03Well, I'm not going to play out of state.
00:02:04The old man's out of his head.
00:02:05Yes.
00:02:06I wonder what he's inventing this time.
00:02:07A fair example.
00:02:08I'm going to have a look.
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00:05:10Go and pick it in.
00:05:11We can't put up fire without it.
00:05:12Oh, I'll keep your wool on.
00:05:23Put me on that.
00:05:26Hold this.
00:05:27Hold it.
00:05:36That's Percy, get him in.
00:05:38Get him in.
00:05:41Ah, there you are.
00:05:43Pick him up.
00:05:45Come on.
00:05:47There you are.
00:05:49Good boy, Percy. Good boy.
00:05:51Steady on, Percy. Steady on.
00:05:53Calm down. Calm down.
00:05:55Come on, boy. Come on.
00:05:57That's the idea.
00:05:59That's all right, boy. It's all right.
00:06:01It's not the fire, but it's only the telephone.
00:06:03Now, relax. Relax.
00:06:06Yes, sir. We're leaving straight away, sir.
00:06:08Yes. What's that? Oh, fresh orders.
00:06:10Oh, wait a minute. I'll take them down.
00:06:12Yes. What is it?
00:06:14Half a pound of jamalana. Yes.
00:06:16A pound of streaky bacon. Yes.
00:06:18Whoa, whoa, whoa, Percy.
00:06:20All right, sir. Coming right away, sir.
00:06:22Right. Right.
00:06:29Hey, how many times do I tell you to fix that board?
00:06:31I haven't any more street.
00:06:35What are you making it there for? Hurry up.
00:06:37Hurry up.
00:06:39Ready number two? All right, sir.
00:06:41Ready number three? Yes, sir. All right, start the engine.
00:06:53Go on, Percy. Go on, boy.
00:06:55Go on.
00:06:57Where is this fire?
00:06:59Where's Lake Cross?
00:07:01Look at the old fool. Where's Lake Cross?
00:07:03He doesn't even know where he's going.
00:07:05Do you?
00:07:07What do you mean, do I? Of course I do.
00:07:09Think I'd go careering all over the country without knowing where the fire was?
00:07:11Go on, Percy. Go on, boy.
00:07:13He'll be there. Go on.
00:07:17Well, it must be here somewhere.
00:07:19I mean, it can't have skipped it.
00:07:21Oh, here's King's Cross. What's the good of that?
00:07:23I went there once.
00:07:25Oh, what for? To see the troops after Bannockburn?
00:07:27Why, let's ask somebody.
00:07:29Now, don't be silly. We can't go up to someone and say where's the fire.
00:07:31Why not?
00:07:33Well, look back.
00:07:35Here, I'll tell you something.
00:07:37This is like God.
00:07:39Well, I'm guessing there's our fire.
00:07:47Goodbye, Charlie. Got the pictures?
00:07:49Here you are.
00:07:51Excuse me. This is the position of the fire, isn't it?
00:07:53What fire?
00:07:55Well, the big oil fire.
00:07:57What?
00:07:59We've come all this way for nothing.
00:08:01All what way? From Bishop's Wallop.
00:08:03Oh, but that's only 12 miles.
00:08:05Only 12 miles? Good heavens, you seem much farther than the way we came.
00:08:07Charlie. Here.
00:08:09Get a picture. This'll make a great story.
00:08:11Okay, I'll go and get a plate.
00:08:13Hey, hey, about that fire. You'd better read about it.
00:08:15And don't go away.
00:08:17Oil factory blaze. Flames 90 feet high.
00:08:1950 fire brigades take all night for 12.
00:08:21All we've got?
00:08:23That put it out.
00:08:25Well, we'd better go home then.
00:08:27Maybe there's a little bit still burning.
00:08:29Oh, there's another fire.
00:08:31Town Hall ablaze.
00:08:33You say what? Town Hall?
00:08:35Yes, ours.
00:08:37Bishop's Wallop Town Hall ablaze.
00:08:39Hey, we'd better go back at once. Come on.
00:08:41All hands, take post-defenders away.
00:08:43Bring the bell.
00:08:45Hey, you.
00:08:47Bring up Bishop's Wallop. Tell them we're on the way.
00:08:49And keep it going till we get back.
00:08:51Okay.
00:08:57The engine that never got there.
00:08:59They are with a laughing stock of the whole country.
00:09:01Look.
00:09:03Our old Town Hall burnt under our noses.
00:09:05Thanks to this trio of blundering incompetents.
00:09:07Mr. Mayor,
00:09:09during the past six months,
00:09:1117 of our valuable properties have been destroyed by fire.
00:09:13And what is more,
00:09:15there is no record of any of them having been put out.
00:09:21Objection.
00:09:23If they hadn't been put out, they'd still be burning, wouldn't they?
00:09:25That remark is out of order.
00:09:27Oh, is it?
00:09:29Just a moment, please.
00:09:31I see there's one here that was put out.
00:09:33Oh, was it? Which one was that?
00:09:35Beach Farm on the night of October the 1st.
00:09:37Beach Farm?
00:09:39That's right.
00:09:41Don't you remember? It came out right.
00:09:43Yes, it's quite right. Beach Farm.
00:09:45Even so, they'd still leave 16 properties destroyed by fire
00:09:47to say nothing of the Town Hall.
00:09:49This wasn't our fault.
00:09:51We've had another fire.
00:09:53Exactly. We can't put out two fires at once, can we?
00:09:55No, we've only got one square day.
00:09:57But you can put out either fire, sir.
00:09:59That remark's out of order.
00:10:01Oh, no, it isn't.
00:10:03Oh, is it? Well, except mine was.
00:10:05Anyway, it's in very bad taste.
00:10:07How do you expect us to be efficient when you never give us any money for equipment?
00:10:09We gave you 20 pounds for equipment last June.
00:10:11For equipment?
00:10:13Oh, I thought that was a bonus.
00:10:15June? No wonder he went to Blackpool.
00:10:17Makes you think, doesn't it?
00:10:19I propose to sack the lot of them
00:10:21because I hate me rate.
00:10:23There you are. I hate me rate.
00:10:25I mean, what sort of farm are you expecting to get for two a penny?
00:10:27Fifty measly quid a year to keep three men on the horse,
00:10:29and you're fitting to sack them because we can't put out two fires at once.
00:10:31I demand a vote.
00:10:33One moment, gentlemen, please.
00:10:35I think there is something in what Captain Viking says.
00:10:37Yes.
00:10:39I think we might give him one more chance.
00:10:41You're wasting your time, sir.
00:10:43Oh, no, he's not, sir.
00:10:45It'll mean, Viking, that we should resolve the next fire as a test case.
00:10:47Quite, sir.
00:10:49We should do it out now, sir.
00:10:51In the meantime,
00:10:53I would suggest you take a trip to London
00:10:55to study their latest fire-fighting methods.
00:10:57London? London can't teach me anything.
00:10:59Why, with my invention, I can...
00:11:01I think it would be a very good idea, Captain Viking.
00:11:03Oh, well, if you insist.
00:11:05What day shall we make it?
00:11:07Here, I think Saturday.
00:11:09We can see the kelp tower as well.
00:11:11Shut up.
00:11:13Let me see now. What about Saturday?
00:11:15I think that might be arranged.
00:11:17I shall want some money for three first-class tickets.
00:11:19Very good.
00:11:21Yes, and see that you buy them this time,
00:11:23not one first- and two-platform tickets like the last time.
00:11:25That wasn't my fault. The booking clerk made a mistake.
00:11:27I asked for three-platform tickets.
00:11:29Quiet again. Forward.
00:11:41Your purpose for the fire.
00:11:43Now, this is the latest LPC type, Leyland Puck.
00:11:45Oh, Leyland Puck.
00:11:47Good. Ours is much earlier model,
00:11:49although the principles are the same.
00:11:51Yes. How I can use squirts?
00:11:53I beg your pardon?
00:11:55How I can use squirts?
00:11:57He means, to what altitude can you project a jet of water?
00:11:59No, I don't. I mean, how I can use squirts?
00:12:03Under full pressure, this engine is capable
00:12:05of pumping 900 gallons per minute.
00:12:07Ah, 900, eh?
00:12:09That's not bad.
00:12:11Of course, that's just a few more gallons than our engine pumps.
00:12:13Yes, nearly 900 more.
00:12:15I suppose, um, what's-her-name
00:12:17can make quite a bit of money out of inventing a thing like this.
00:12:19Well, they seem to do very well out of it.
00:12:21Ah.
00:12:23Yes, I say, uh,
00:12:25supposing a man invented a preparation
00:12:27that will put out a big fire, like that one at Lakes Cross,
00:12:29say, in 15 minutes.
00:12:31He'd make a fortune.
00:12:33You know someone who's done it.
00:12:35Ah, but I know someone who thinks he has.
00:12:37Oh, what's that, lunch?
00:12:39No, it's fire.
00:12:43Oh.
00:13:01Look at that. 29.
00:13:03How's that for a smart turnout?
00:13:05Oh, not bad, not bad at all.
00:13:07Of course, we have done it in 26.
00:13:0926? Well, I know it was well under the half hour.
00:13:1126 minutes to turn up.
00:13:13Well, you must remember we are not mechanized.
00:13:15We've got a horse, and sometimes it takes us four of an hour to find him.
00:13:17I see. Well, I suggest
00:13:19the sooner you bring your brigade up to date, the better.
00:13:21Be too much, Mr... Uh, Viking.
00:13:23Mr. Viking.
00:13:25Goodbye. Goodbye.
00:13:27Up to a gate.
00:13:29Who do you think he is? He's only a fireman the same as us.
00:13:31London swank?
00:13:33You wait till we're mechanized.
00:13:35Yes.
00:13:37Hey, you mean to say we're going to have some
00:13:39horse the same as this? Exactly.
00:13:41Oh, well, then it's a good job we knocked this off.
00:13:43Look.
00:13:45Can't I take you anywhere without you knocking something off?
00:13:47Hey, have you knocked off anything too?
00:13:49Yes. What?
00:13:51Only a little bit of hose.
00:13:53There's not going to be a party to it.
00:13:55What do you want us to do, put it all back again?
00:13:57Certainly not. I think we have nothing but a lot of feet.
00:13:59Well, make up your mind. What do you want us to do with it?
00:14:01Get out of it before they miss it.
00:14:03Go on, get out.
00:14:09Hey, hurry up there.
00:14:11I can't hold this pole all day.
00:14:13All right, all right.
00:14:15We're doing it as fast as we can.
00:14:17Come on, it's my turn now.
00:14:19You said I could have a turn.
00:14:21Okay, you finish it off.
00:14:23All right.
00:14:25Let me listen to you, old fool.
00:14:27Hey, shut up the singing and get on with it.
00:14:29Look at my baby on the teacup.
00:14:31When the wind blows, the table will rock.
00:14:33When the bell breaks, the table will fall.
00:14:35There was no baby in the table at all.
00:14:37Oh!
00:14:39Oh!
00:14:41Oh!
00:14:43Oh!
00:14:45Oh!
00:14:47Oh!
00:14:49Oh!
00:14:51Oh!
00:14:53Oh!
00:14:55Ow!
00:14:57Oh, dear!
00:14:59Help me, God.
00:15:01It's a good job for me.
00:15:03It was there to break my pole, isn't it?
00:15:05Here, wait a minute.
00:15:07Wait a minute.
00:15:09Here I come.
00:15:11Hey!
00:15:13What are you doing?
00:15:15I thought you fainted.
00:15:17I was counting ten before I said what I was thinking.
00:15:19You might have killed me.
00:15:21Dirty water on me.
00:15:23Whose helmet is this?
00:15:25It's yours.
00:15:27Well, I like that. What's your idea?
00:15:29Well, you've got to keep the water in something.
00:15:31What's the matter with the bucket?
00:15:33It's got the caters in it.
00:15:35It's got the caters in it.
00:15:37First it tries to kill me, then uses my helmet as a bucket.
00:15:39You're lucky.
00:15:41Do you want to see what he's using mine for?
00:15:43He's got the goldfish in it.
00:15:45Goldfish?
00:15:47You'll be sailing paper boats in it next.
00:15:49Come here.
00:15:51No, you don't. Come back here and help me get this pole up.
00:15:53Come on, lift it up.
00:15:59Hey, wait a minute.
00:16:01Let it down.
00:16:03We've got it round the wrong end.
00:16:05How can a pole have a wrong end?
00:16:07Well, this end's thick and the other end's thin.
00:16:09We're trying to put the thick end up.
00:16:11What difference does it make?
00:16:13Well, does anything stand on its thin end?
00:16:15Storks do.
00:16:17You'll get one on your big end in a minute.
00:16:19Go on, help me pull it in.
00:16:21We'll have to take it out in the street and bring it in the other way round.
00:16:23Right.
00:16:35Come on, now, back.
00:16:39Oh, dear.
00:16:41How did that happen?
00:16:43You wait here.
00:16:45What do you think you're playing at?
00:16:47Are you in charge of this car?
00:16:49I am. What the devil do you mean by smashing my windows?
00:16:51It's entirely your own fault. Don't you think it's illegal to park outside a fire station?
00:16:53I'll have you summoned for this.
00:16:55Police! Police! Help!
00:16:57All right, all right. There's no need to be frustrated.
00:16:59It's an accident. It could have happened to anybody.
00:17:01Come out here.
00:17:03I didn't do it.
00:17:05Never mind who did it. Help me get it out.
00:17:07Who made that noise?
00:17:09Mice.
00:17:11Get that pole out the way.
00:17:13Hey, hey, you, you!
00:17:15Stop making that noise.
00:17:17This gentleman was here before you.
00:17:19Well, as soon as he's taken it back again, it'll be quicker to push it through.
00:17:21Push it where you like. Let's get it out of here.
00:17:23It's harder, don't we?
00:17:25Now, gently, lovely.
00:17:27Ready? Heave!
00:17:29Mind the gentleman's chin.
00:17:33If he doesn't stop, we'll go away and leave it here.
00:17:35Now, come on.
00:17:37Heave!
00:17:39Heave!
00:17:41I say. What?
00:17:43Do you know you're holding all the traffic up?
00:17:45No way, no way. Go away and play with it.
00:17:47Get out of it.
00:17:49Oh, come on, heave it. Now that you've pushed.
00:17:51Come on.
00:17:53It's no harder than that. Come on. Heave!
00:17:55Heave!
00:17:57Heave!
00:17:59Get away from it.
00:18:01Hey, hey, that's your fault, you old fool.
00:18:03Well, you told me to heave.
00:18:05Yeah, but you've been one heaving plug all the time.
00:18:07Shut up!
00:18:09I say. What is it now?
00:18:11Uh, what are you trying to do?
00:18:13We're trying to turn our pole around.
00:18:15Oh, with what object?
00:18:17Will you push off?
00:18:19Are you going to get this thing out of my car or not?
00:18:21Oh, it's all right. We're doing our best, aren't we?
00:18:23You know you're defeating your own papa.
00:18:25Huh? I have it here.
00:18:27According to proposition five of the second book of Euclid,
00:18:29if a straight line is divided equally and also unequally,
00:18:31the rectangle contained by the unequal part from the square on the line
00:18:33between the points of the section are together equal to the square loss of the line.
00:18:35Well, what's that got to do with me?
00:18:37Well, assuming the street to be the rectangle,
00:18:39by withdrawing the straight line, i.e. the pole,
00:18:41within the point of the section, i.e. the china shop,
00:18:43the traffic may proceed. Q.E.D.
00:18:45Oh, well, shall I tell you something?
00:18:47Yes.
00:18:49You can proceed.
00:18:51Come on, let's get this thing in.
00:18:53All right, all right. It's perfectly simple.
00:18:55All we've got to do is to take it in the china shop and make the traffic proceed.
00:18:57You stay here. I'll come with me.
00:18:59All right.
00:19:01Now, you go inside and steer the other end.
00:19:03All right.
00:19:07Hey, what are you doing that for?
00:19:15All right. Ready, Hobble?
00:19:17Yes, I'm ready.
00:19:19All right.
00:19:21What's going on here? And what are you doing?
00:19:23I'm holding the end of this pouch.
00:19:27What's that to the service?
00:19:29I can wash it, not smash it.
00:19:39Can't you take it back any farther?
00:19:41No, this ends against the wall,
00:19:43but if you slew your end round a bit,
00:19:45I might get it through that door.
00:19:47Hobble, shove your end round to your left a bit.
00:19:49Right.
00:19:55You, what are you doing with my paper?
00:19:57You, what are you doing with my paper?
00:19:59Take my book and fill in the other end.
00:20:03Can't you make it that noise?
00:20:05It's really better. Come and do it.
00:20:07I see. It says here that if two circles touch one another externally,
00:20:09the straight line which joins their centers will cross
00:20:11through the point of contact.
00:20:13Yes, well, we've just done that.
00:20:15Oh, yes, I'm aware of that.
00:20:17But going to the prescribed limit of the rectangle,
00:20:19i.e., the feet being less than the inordinate length of the straight line,
00:20:21i.e., the pole,
00:20:23you're attempting to turn the greater into the less,
00:20:25which is absurd.
00:20:27The pole should be elevated to the perpendicular.
00:20:29Q.E.D.
00:20:31Well, I'll do him.
00:20:33Certainly not. I'll do it myself.
00:20:35Get out of it. Get out of it.
00:20:37How do you hate permanent symptoms?
00:20:39All we're going to do is to elevate the pole to the perpendicular.
00:20:41Hobble, come here.
00:20:43You go and take his end of the pole and raise it as high as you can.
00:20:45Okay.
00:20:47You can't get away with this.
00:20:49I told you before, take my book.
00:20:51I will never find my daughter.
00:20:53Come on, hurry up.
00:20:57Right. Up.
00:20:59Up.
00:21:01That's right.
00:21:03Hey, what the thing is that you're doing on the pole?
00:21:05Get down.
00:21:07Get down.
00:21:09Get down.
00:21:11Get down.
00:21:19Oh!
00:21:21Oh!
00:21:23Oh!
00:21:27Oh!
00:21:29Oh!
00:21:31The pole's in his stomach.
00:21:33Pardon me for so long. That's not your stomach.
00:21:35That is your abdomen. Your stomach is up here.
00:21:37Oh!
00:21:39Oh!
00:21:41What's going on here?
00:21:43You've got an abdomen in his stomach.
00:21:45You've messed it up completely.
00:21:47Without a doubt. Give me the tool.
00:21:49You increase the angle of the base by raising the apex of the hypotenuse,
00:21:51i.e., by leaving out of that window
00:21:53and dislodging the far extremity of the pole.
00:21:55Q.E.D.
00:21:57Q.E.D.
00:21:59I'll give you an S.O.C.T. if you don't be out.
00:22:01E.G.
00:22:03Get up in that room and see if you can shift it.
00:22:05Oh!
00:22:09Do you have any brandy?
00:22:11Oh, I'll see you soon.
00:22:13Oh, I hope I can get it down.
00:22:15Oh!
00:22:19Come on, Mr. Fox. How's the foot?
00:22:21Never mind my foot. What's all that rambunctiousness?
00:22:23Why, Doctor, I'll be peace and quiet.
00:22:25Oh, if I haven't a bit of bother with that pole.
00:22:27We'll soon have it shifted.
00:22:29Can you shove over a bit?
00:22:31Ow! Mind my foot!
00:22:33I can't!
00:22:37About shifted. Let's proceed to the break.
00:22:39Well, push it. Don't sit. Leave...
00:22:41Leave Barbara out.
00:22:43I can't. Old Thompson's in bed here.
00:22:45I've got to mind his foot.
00:22:47All right, I'll come up.
00:22:49Oh, well, it won't be long now. The Governor's coming up.
00:22:51He'll see that nothing goes right.
00:22:53I won't have peace of...
00:22:55What's it into my... Oh! Oh! You get out, too!
00:22:57Oh, Mr. Thompson's foot.
00:22:59Son of a... I've been ordered peace and quiet.
00:23:01Daisy, nothing like it.
00:23:03Ow! Get out of my way. Go on. Get out of here.
00:23:05I told you it's stuck.
00:23:07Well, all you're going to do is to use your wits.
00:23:09That's all.
00:23:11Oh, here we are.
00:23:13Give me that good...
00:23:15Oh, careful. Careful.
00:23:19Hey, can't you reel in and give us a couple of inches?
00:23:21Come. Come.
00:23:31Oh, thank you very much.
00:23:33Oh, it's you, is it?
00:23:37Now we're getting somewhere.
00:23:39How did that happen?
00:23:41Young Woodley shifted it.
00:23:43Pull the pole up in here.
00:23:45Well, you can't do that to them, can you?
00:23:47No.
00:23:49Ah, I'll show you how to do it.
00:23:51Four eyes is not the only one that knows you, see?
00:23:53Now look. We're going to push the apex
00:23:55and this end of the pole up through the skylight
00:23:57and we'll keep on pushing
00:23:59until the base, the other end of the pole,
00:24:01gets in here, you see?
00:24:03Then we'll carry the aforesaid base
00:24:05through the door,
00:24:07down the stairs, into the kitchen
00:24:09and through the scullery
00:24:11and when it reappears through the skylight
00:24:13then we run it through the window,
00:24:15across the street, you see, thereby reversing the pole
00:24:17face over apex, C.O.D.
00:24:19Won't work.
00:24:21You mind your own business.
00:24:23Hey, come on, help me shove him in the court.
00:24:25Now, come on.
00:24:27Here, we can't pull this by ourselves.
00:24:29All right, we'll get some help.
00:24:31Hey, keep quiet down there, will you?
00:24:33There's a sick man in bed up here.
00:24:35That's better.
00:24:37Now listen, I want some help up here.
00:24:39Fifteen able-bodied men come up here once, will you?
00:24:41Come through here.
00:24:43Hey!
00:24:45What are you doing sitting there doing nothing?
00:24:47Bring the ladder over here.
00:24:49We're going to pull the pole up this way.
00:24:53Good morning, Mr. Tony.
00:24:55Hold the foot.
00:24:57Hold the foot.
00:24:59Hold the foot.
00:25:01Quiet, everybody.
00:25:03Hey, what are you doing here?
00:25:05I merely wish to know
00:25:07what you really intend to do with the pole.
00:25:09Well, we did intend to stick it up in our fire station,
00:25:11but if you don't push off, we might change our minds.
00:25:13Get out of it, will you?
00:25:15Well, really.
00:25:17Now listen, fellas, we've got to shove this pole up through that skylight.
00:25:19So lay hold of it, and when I say heave, heave.
00:25:21Now, come on, get ready.
00:25:23Heave.
00:25:25Heave.
00:25:27Heave.
00:25:29Heave.
00:25:31Heave.
00:25:33Oh, dear.
00:25:35Don't turn over, Mr. Tonks.
00:25:37There's a lot of glass in the bed.
00:25:39Heave.
00:25:41Heave.
00:25:43Heave.
00:25:45Heave.
00:25:47Heave.
00:25:49Heave.
00:25:51Heave.
00:25:53Heave.
00:25:55Heave.
00:25:57Heave.
00:25:59Heave.
00:26:01Heave.
00:26:03We'll soon have you right, fellas.
00:26:05Heave.
00:26:07Heave.
00:26:09What's going on here?
00:26:11Say, ah.
00:26:13No!
00:26:15No, no, not no. Ah.
00:26:17Heave.
00:26:19Heave.
00:26:21Heave.
00:26:23Heave.
00:26:25Heave.
00:26:27Heave.
00:26:29Heave.
00:26:31Heave.
00:26:33Heave.
00:26:35Hold it, Tonks. Hold it.
00:26:37I can't hold it.
00:26:39Look out, look out. Get it on. Get it on.
00:26:41Hang on to it. It's going.
00:26:43No, it isn't. No, it isn't.
00:26:45It's going. Look out.
00:26:47Don't stand there doing nothing.
00:26:49Give me some elbow room.
00:26:51No! Hold it still.
00:26:53Stop it.
00:26:55You want all the bed? Move over.
00:26:57Get that parcel out of the way.
00:26:59No!
00:27:01Don't stand there like a load of gums.
00:27:03Come on, everybody. Put it down.
00:27:05All hands on deck.
00:27:07It's slipping.
00:27:09Hold it.
00:27:11Come on.
00:27:13No!
00:27:15Very well. There's only one thing to do.
00:27:17What's that?
00:27:19Get another pole.
00:27:21Oh, God.
00:27:29Uh-huh.
00:27:31Uh-huh.
00:27:33Uh-huh.
00:27:35Uh-huh.
00:27:37Uh-huh.
00:27:39Uh-huh.
00:27:41Uh-huh.
00:27:43Uh-huh.
00:27:45Uh-huh.
00:27:47Uh-huh.
00:27:49There you are.
00:27:51If we'd cut the pole in half in the first place,
00:27:53we wouldn't have had all those arguments with the insurance company.
00:27:55I still think it's a waste of time.
00:27:57Listen, my lad, if it's good enough for those swankpots in London,
00:27:59it's good enough for us.
00:28:01Yes. Trying a bit of ivy up. It'll look ever so nice.
00:28:03Ivy? What do you think we're making, a grotto?
00:28:05Yes.
00:28:07Go on, Albert. Up you go and slide down it.
00:28:09What, me? Well, somebody's got to test it.
00:28:11Well, you test it. It's your pole.
00:28:13All right, all right. I'm not afraid of sliding down a pole.
00:28:15I don't wonder. You've been up one for years.
00:28:17Get out of it. Go on.
00:28:19Get on with your dusting.
00:28:21Have you sandpapered that? Oh, yes. Everything's smooth.
00:28:23Oh, right. Well, stand well back
00:28:25or you might make a fast landing.
00:28:33Hey, is that a nail?
00:28:35No. Screw.
00:28:37Do you mean to tell me you're going to let me slide down onto that?
00:28:39Well, the verge is near the bottom.
00:28:41Yes. That's just what I mean.
00:28:43Well, take it out immediately.
00:28:47Hey, do you smell something burning?
00:28:49Hey, Albert, Albert, get your water, quick.
00:28:51The stove's on fire.
00:28:55It is the stove's burning.
00:28:57It's already five.
00:28:59Well, get the fire extinguisher, quick.
00:29:01Well, get the fire out of the oven.
00:29:03Go on.
00:29:05Go on.
00:29:07Come on, baby.
00:29:15Don't do that. You'll spoil the flavor.
00:29:17Yes.
00:29:19If it tastes like it smells, anything can be an improvement.
00:29:21Yes.
00:29:35Hey, hey.
00:29:37Don't stand there. Open the door.
00:29:39Let some of the smoke out.
00:29:41I say, I say, I say.
00:29:43Don't you know your chimney's on fire?
00:29:45Get out of it.
00:29:47Hey, hey, hey.
00:29:49What do you think you're doing?
00:29:51Picking out the good bits.
00:29:53What do you think? I'm going to eat it after you've rolled it about.
00:29:55You'll get my share of Percy. What's in the lather?
00:30:01Hey, this cheese is a bit slippy, isn't it?
00:30:07Oh, hey.
00:30:09That's not cheese. It's soap.
00:30:11Soap? That's funny.
00:30:13That's right.
00:30:15Yeah. No wonder I couldn't get a lather this morning.
00:30:17I must have got mixed.
00:30:19Got mixed? Well, it's a good job for you you didn't have a hot bath.
00:30:21It would have come out like a Welsh rabbit.
00:30:25Well, we'll have to have bread and butter and beer, that's all.
00:30:27Well, it's always that cheesy he washed his neck with, if you fancy it.
00:30:29Well, if you hadn't kept us messing about with that pole of yours,
00:30:31we'd have been sitting down to a nice rabbit pie now.
00:30:33Yeah, that's right.
00:30:35Yes, and duty comes before rabbit pie.
00:30:37If it's the last thing I do, I'll get...
00:30:39Good gracious.
00:30:41Good gracious.
00:30:45Hey, something else is boiling over.
00:30:47Hey, looks like soap.
00:30:57Oh, it's nice. Here, have some.
00:30:59Oh, are these bubbles? Not likely.
00:31:01These bubbles taste like beer.
00:31:03Beer? Beer? Beer?
00:31:05Hey, do you realize what's happened?
00:31:07That bottle of beer you knocked out of my hand has dropped down into my formula.
00:31:11Oh, Lord, it's put out the stove.
00:31:13Good, it works, it works.
00:31:15I found the lost ingredient.
00:31:17What do you mean, that beer's dead?
00:31:19Yes, of course it's dead.
00:31:21There you are. It's double X. Where's the telephone?
00:31:23It's under there somewhere.
00:31:25Where is it? Where is it?
00:31:29Hello?
00:31:31Put me through to the London Fire Brigade headquarters.
00:31:33Yes, yes, quick, quick.
00:31:35Put me through to the London Fire Brigade headquarters.
00:31:37Yes, yes, quick, quick.
00:31:43Yes, I'm coming, I'm coming.
00:31:45That's no good. Get the hose.
00:31:47Watch it out.
00:31:53Yes, this is Fire Chief Banking.
00:31:55Officer Pollard speaking. Yes, hey, I've done it.
00:31:57I've done it. I've found out what X is.
00:31:59X? No, not X.
00:32:01X. Yes, I've got an invention.
00:32:03A fire extinguisher.
00:32:05Yes, put out anything. I'm looking to demonstrate it to you as soon as they open.
00:32:07I mean, tomorrow.
00:32:09Tomorrow?
00:32:11We can't make arrangements as quickly as that.
00:32:13Give me your name and the details and the committee will write to you.
00:32:15Yes.
00:32:17K2SO4
00:32:19plus K3LO5
00:32:21yes, plus X.
00:32:23X?
00:32:25What is X?
00:32:27Yeah, wouldn't you like to know, eh?
00:32:29I suppose you'd like to jump in ahead of me and get your name on the pack.
00:32:31Yes, well, I'm not going to tell you.
00:32:33You put that before your committee and I'll supply the X.
00:32:41Hey, we're going to be famous.
00:32:43We'll have our photographs on the front page of every newspaper in the country.
00:32:45Oh, like Garbo and Giddy?
00:32:47Garbo and Giddy.
00:32:49That's all you think about, women and wine.
00:32:53Hey, you don't have much to do.
00:32:55Turn it over.
00:32:57Turn it over.
00:32:59Turn it over!
00:33:23That's it, all right.
00:33:25Is the fire captain in?
00:33:27Oh, well, that depends.
00:33:29I mean, you haven't come on behalf of someone, have you?
00:33:31As a matter of fact, we have.
00:33:33Oh, well, I'm afraid he won't see you.
00:33:35No, we haven't come with a red bunny.
00:33:37We've got a swell proposition for him.
00:33:39Oh, well, in that case, I am the captain. How are you?
00:33:41Cut the clowning and get the captain, will you?
00:33:43But I am the captain.
00:33:45Why, don't you believe me?
00:33:47Come here.
00:33:49Hey, tell these gentlemen what I am.
00:33:51What are you, out loud?
00:33:53Hey, no funny gags.
00:33:55All that, if he is the captain at the moment.
00:33:57Well, I'm glad to know you, Captain.
00:33:59We're from the Goldsboro Picture Corporation.
00:34:01Oh, well, we don't want to buy any pictures.
00:34:03We've got one upstairs.
00:34:05You don't understand.
00:34:07We make films, movies, pictures.
00:34:09Oh, I'd like to go on a picture.
00:34:11Yeah, what, standing for the Seven Dwarfs?
00:34:13Yeah, yeah.
00:34:15We're not wanting any actors as yet.
00:34:17We're making an historical picture called
00:34:19The Conquest of Fire.
00:34:21Oh, I see, sort of a blazes through the ages.
00:34:23We want your fire engine.
00:34:25You want what?
00:34:27We want your fire engine.
00:34:29We'll give you a good price for it.
00:34:31Certainly not.
00:34:33We'll make it worth your while.
00:34:35I'll bet you would.
00:34:37Well, the idea is preposterous.
00:34:39You might as well go to some paper station
00:34:41and ask them for a couple of platforms.
00:34:43Okay, if you can afford to turn down real money.
00:34:45Oh, well, how long would you want it for?
00:34:47Just a few hours.
00:34:49Yes, but suppose the fire alarm went while it was away?
00:34:51You see, it's...
00:34:53It's worth 20 pounds for you.
00:34:55Well, there are a lot of other film companies
00:34:57after our engine too, you know.
00:34:59All right, 30 pounds then.
00:35:01That's better.
00:35:03And now?
00:35:05And the balance when we take the engine.
00:35:07It's a deal.
00:35:09I suppose we couldn't have the balance now
00:35:11and the other 10 when you take the engine.
00:35:13I can see you're a businessman.
00:35:15All right, 10 pounds more.
00:35:17Can I have a receipt for it?
00:35:19You speak when you're spoken to.
00:35:21Give me a piece of paper.
00:35:23How would you like the receipt worded?
00:35:25To hire a fire engine, 30 pounds.
00:35:27To hire a fire engine, 30 pounds.
00:35:29Received on account, 20 pounds.
00:35:31P.S.,
00:35:3310 pounds to cut.
00:35:35There you are.
00:35:37Well, you'd better keep ringing me up every morning
00:35:39to see when you can have it.
00:35:41When we can have it?
00:35:43But we want it for tomorrow.
00:35:45Tomorrow? Oh, no, that's impossible.
00:35:47When did you figure on us having it?
00:35:49Well, let me see. Today's Monday.
00:35:51If it's just my formula on Wednesday,
00:35:53you can have it on Thursday.
00:35:55Well, if that's the way it is, Cap,
00:35:57I guess that'll have to do.
00:35:59I'll phone you.
00:36:01Bye.
00:36:03Bye.
00:36:05Come on, divvy up. I want my 10 quid.
00:36:07Your 10 quid? I like that.
00:36:09Three's in the 30, that's 10 quid each.
00:36:11Come on, cough up. I'll do nothing of the kind.
00:36:13Besides, I haven't got 30 quid. I've only got 20.
00:36:15No, you've only got 10. That makes us square.
00:36:19Well, would you believe it?
00:36:21Yes, oh, you don't.
00:36:23You'll have to wait till those gentlemen have paid the balance.
00:36:25When will that be?
00:36:27Just as soon as they've tested my formula in London.
00:36:29Yes, but that might not be for months and months and months.
00:36:31Well, look at the interest you'll get.
00:36:33What interest?
00:36:35Well, the interest looking forward to your money, you see.
00:36:37What I want to know is...
00:36:39Never mind. I don't want to hear it.
00:36:41Let's get on with your sweeping.
00:36:43Anybody think I was a boy?
00:36:45I'm older than them two put together.
00:36:49Who always gets the worst of it here?
00:36:51Me.
00:36:53Who always has to drink out of the crack cup?
00:36:55Me.
00:36:57Who gets slow fried bread in the morning?
00:36:59Me.
00:37:03Why don't you stand up for yourself?
00:37:05It's no use.
00:37:07They wouldn't listen to me.
00:37:09They wouldn't listen to me.
00:37:11They wouldn't listen to me.
00:37:13I'm just a poor little Cinderella.
00:37:23We wasted six months trying to figure that out before.
00:37:25That'll be Hank. Open the gates.
00:37:27I tell you, it's the craziest stunt I've ever heard of.
00:37:29You said that to bite the bullion job at Chester.
00:37:31Yeah, but bullion and crown jewels are two different things.
00:37:33It's impossible, Chief.
00:37:35To start with, there's no way of getting in the tower.
00:37:37That's just it. There was no way, but I...
00:37:39Did you get it?
00:37:41As good as. There's just a little matter of when we collect it.
00:37:43Great.
00:37:45We told them we wanted it for a movie.
00:37:47They swallowed it.
00:37:49Surely you never saw three goofier guys.
00:37:51Did you get a good look at the engine?
00:37:53It's identical. Where's the book?
00:37:59See all the differences?
00:38:01Theirs has shafts and the tower engine has hand gear.
00:38:03We'll soon fix that.
00:38:05Show them to Daring here. He still believes we can't do it.
00:38:07Now, in the case of a fire in the tower,
00:38:09this engine is allowed to go in and out without question.
00:38:11And 20 minutes is all we want.
00:38:15Underweight and a half of soap,
00:38:1714 gallons of K2SO4.
00:38:19Yes, hand me up another dozen.
00:38:25You know, this would have been cheaper if we'd have bought it by the barrel.
00:38:27Oh, don't talk nonsense.
00:38:29Supplements back on every bottle. Look at all those empties.
00:38:31Good as money in the bank.
00:38:33Six, eight, ten.
00:38:35Oh, that reminds me.
00:38:37What about my tenner?
00:38:39It's Friday now. I can do with a bit on account.
00:38:41You'll get tattles on account if you don't shut up.
00:38:43What I want to know is, do I get my tenner by Saturday or don't I?
00:38:45You don't.
00:38:47Oh, all right.
00:38:49Then I hope your invention don't work, see.
00:38:51Cool, there's a friend for you.
00:38:53Putting a curse on it for a measly tenner.
00:38:57Hey, put that down.
00:38:59I can't get paid one way.
00:39:01I'll take it another for there.
00:39:03You get up there and cut some soap.
00:39:05Go on. The knife's on top. Hurry up.
00:39:07Cut soap.
00:39:09Brimming soap.
00:39:11What I seem to do is cut.
00:39:13Slice it up quickly.
00:39:15Don't make the lumps too big.
00:39:17If this knife slips, I'll cut me throat.
00:39:19Well, if you do, lean back and don't muck up my formula.
00:39:23Hey, it's ready full.
00:39:25Is it?
00:39:27Good.
00:39:29Well, that's that.
00:39:31I'm going to have some practice with my new turn-out apparatus.
00:39:35Turn-out apparatus.
00:39:37Just a lot of junk.
00:39:39Junk? Are you referring to my paint-and-harness dropper?
00:39:41It's more like a pawnbroker's shop to me.
00:39:43Listen, I'm fed up with you two, lovely.
00:39:45You're going to use that gear and like it.
00:39:47We'll have a practice turn-out now.
00:39:49What, now? They'll be opening in ten minutes.
00:39:51Oh, lovely, the only turn-out you understand is time, gentlemen, please.
00:39:53Go on, follow me.
00:39:55Oh, here we are.
00:39:57Now then, I turn the wheel, the horse-box opener,
00:39:59and then I pull these chains, you see,
00:40:01and the wallop in the stable slaps the horse sparkly on the...
00:40:03well, whichever way he's standing,
00:40:05and he comes out onto the turntable.
00:40:07I know, he says, who's been walloping my porridge?
00:40:09Oh, very funny.
00:40:11Very funny.
00:40:13Yes, well, I said I was going to mechanize this fire for the day,
00:40:15and I've done it.
00:40:17Now, I'm going to...
00:40:19Hey, hey, hey.
00:40:21Oh, no, you don't. You come back here. Come on.
00:40:23We're going to try this.
00:40:25Are you ready? Go.
00:40:27Down the pole, out with the horse,
00:40:29down with the turntable, down with the shaft,
00:40:31on with the harness, and out we go.
00:40:33They are seven and a half seconds.
00:40:35Hmm, she made a smart getaway, didn't we?
00:40:37Yes. Yes, but we're still here.
00:40:39Well, of course we're still here.
00:40:41I'm just trying to explain it to you, thick-head.
00:40:43I mean, I've been lying awake at night thinking how it could be done.
00:40:45Yes, and I've been lying awake at night thinking how I've been done.
00:40:47If you'd only let the fixer-bloke have that engine,
00:40:49I'd have had my ten of them now.
00:40:51Now, listen, once and for all, that engine's staying in my possession
00:40:53till I've had a chance of demonstrating my formula in London.
00:40:55Yes, but why wait for London?
00:40:57Why not have a fire here and tell London all about it?
00:40:59I mean, don't you understand?
00:41:01It's got to be a big fire,
00:41:03something London's proud to hear about,
00:41:05something where my invention can put out so quickly
00:41:07it'll be a sensation.
00:41:09There's nothing big enough here.
00:41:11I might never live to see a fire as big as that.
00:41:13Don't worry.
00:41:15You will when you're great in a few years' time.
00:41:17What? Oh, for me?
00:41:19Grub was to pay. Huh?
00:41:21Grub was to pay. What for?
00:41:23Well, you don't expect me to pay for that, do you?
00:41:25I mean, I didn't just stick it on.
00:41:27Grub was to pay, anyhow.
00:41:29Albert? Got any money?
00:41:31I've got a ten-pound note you can't have.
00:41:33Well, you'd better leave the letter. We'll pay you tomorrow.
00:41:35Ten secondations. No money, no letter.
00:41:37Good evening. Wait a minute.
00:41:39That letter may be important.
00:41:41Well, it must have some change somewhere.
00:41:43Albert, turn out your pockets.
00:41:45Here you are. That's all I've got. A penny.
00:41:47Right. Penny.
00:41:49Well, there you are. There's a penny.
00:41:51And there's an empty with stoppers on it. Give me the letter.
00:41:53I suppose it's all right.
00:41:55Of course it's all right with stoppers on it.
00:41:57It's legal tender. Well, we're very busy now. Good night, my man.
00:41:59Good night. Good night.
00:42:15Hey, where do you think you're going?
00:42:17I'm going to make the fire. What fire?
00:42:19Fire at the petrol station. What petrol station?
00:42:21Petrol station next door to the town hall.
00:42:23Is there a big fire?
00:42:25With a chance. I've only just lit it.
00:42:27Oh, well, we may be in time now.
00:42:29You what? I've only just lit it.
00:42:31You mean to tell me you started that fire yourself?
00:42:33That's right. Whatever for? For my ten quid.
00:42:35Here you are. I've found you. I've found you.
00:42:37What do you mean? That's criminal. That's deliberately generated.
00:42:39Never mind about the argument. Remember what the mayor said.
00:42:41This is a tax case.
00:42:43Either that fire's put out or we are.
00:42:45Come on, follow me.
00:43:03Come on, come on.
00:43:05Get by the control board.
00:43:07Man the winch.
00:43:11Ready.
00:43:15Hold.
00:43:21Wind the winch.
00:43:27Stop.
00:43:29There you are.
00:43:31Hold for a matter of seconds.
00:43:37Look at this. It don't look right.
00:43:39You've turned it too far.
00:43:41What change have we pulled out? I'd like to pull his neck out.
00:43:43It's a waste of time.
00:43:45It's the human element that's let me down.
00:43:47Everything would have worked perfectly if it hadn't been for Dopey's grandfather.
00:43:49I say, I say.
00:43:51But do you know there's a fire?
00:43:55Get out of it.
00:43:57Go on, have it. Go on. Raise the harness.
00:43:59Go on.
00:44:05Go on, go on.
00:44:13I mean, I know what you've done.
00:44:15What's going to look in the stable door when the horse hasn't even gone?
00:44:17Go on, open up again.
00:44:29Hey, calm the carriage.
00:44:31Let's have some organization around here.
00:44:35You've got it the wrong way.
00:44:37Okay, I'm going to change your life.
00:44:39No, not that one. This one.
00:44:41No, the other one.
00:44:43I don't care what you say.
00:44:51Where's that choir brigade? I rang me alarm half an hour ago.
00:44:53Yes, no sign of them yet, eh?
00:44:55No.
00:44:57Now, where have you been?
00:44:59Stand back. No time for idle chatter.
00:45:01All right, everybody, stand back.
00:45:03No need to get into a panic.
00:45:05Everything's under control. Where's the fire?
00:45:07Where's the... Oh, I say.
00:45:09Oh, Harman, set the hose out, quick.
00:45:11Harman, go on, soak up the fire.
00:45:13Oh, dear, what do you want me to soak it up for? It's doing nicely.
00:45:15Oh, not your fire. Our fire.
00:45:17Oh, dear.
00:45:19Oh, dear.
00:45:21Oh, dear.
00:45:23Oh, dear.
00:45:25Get out, and get the fire out.
00:45:27It spoils things slightly.
00:45:29Oh, not your fire, our fire!
00:45:31Oh, go on, hurry up. Hurry up.
00:45:33Under the way, everybody. Stand back. Stand back.
00:45:35Under the way. Stand stand right.
00:45:37All right, Herr Witt, turn it on.
00:45:39Come on, marten.
00:45:41What are you waiting for?
00:45:43It's all right, it's all right. He doesn't get excited.
00:45:45We're gonna make fire history today.
00:45:47You're privileged to see one of the most amazing fire extinguishers ever invented.
00:45:49Think, convince his fakeless feet, look.
00:45:51Yes, it's all right.
00:45:53Hey, I want nothing to hear about this!
00:45:55You don't do something for disgust and yowl to hear about it!
00:45:58It's all right.
00:46:00That's funny.
00:46:01Can't be stopped.
00:46:05Hey, what's that?
00:46:07Oh, tidy it, not in the hole!
00:46:09I did it!
00:46:10What for?
00:46:11To stop the water leaking out as he fell.
00:46:12Oh, this is monstrous!
00:46:13And of all the fatty, idiotic ideas!
00:46:15You'll get the sack for this.
00:46:16Oh, will you?
00:46:17And how long have you been running my pipe again?
00:46:19I'm on the town council.
00:46:20Yes, and I'm on the job, so you shut up and push off!
00:46:24Come on, come on, give me a hand!
00:46:25Give me a hand, quick!
00:46:26Here's another hose.
00:46:27You'd better put it out the old-fashioned way.
00:46:28Listen, my invention's gonna have a chance.
00:46:30The days of putting out fires for water are past!
00:46:32Yeah, if you don't do something quick,
00:46:33your days of putting out fires are past!
00:46:35Give it to me, give it to me!
00:46:36Are you on the main?
00:46:37Yes, it's over there.
00:46:38Only hurry up!
00:46:39I'll fix this in a minute.
00:46:40Quick!
00:46:41We'll start to put it out with water, after all.
00:46:51I've done it!
00:46:52I've done it!
00:46:53All right, carry on!
00:46:54Out of the way, sport! Out of the way, you two!
00:46:55Get out of here!
00:47:03What's coming out of that hose?
00:47:05Water, what do you think?
00:47:06That's not water, young man, that's...
00:47:08Petrol!
00:47:09Petrol? Don't be ridiculous!
00:47:10Look!
00:47:12Oh!
00:47:13Look, I'm shining!
00:47:14Hey!
00:47:15What are you connecting me up to, you awful, licking petrol?
00:47:18Look!
00:47:23That's a niche, ain't it?
00:47:25If you ask me, sir, there's arsenal about!
00:47:27Well, it's nothing, it's him!
00:47:29Our mother's turned it off!
00:47:30I'll go and get an LB, come on!
00:47:31Righty-o, the wife!
00:47:32An LB, quick!
00:47:34Go on, hurry up!
00:47:35Come on!
00:47:36No time!
00:47:37You'll never catch light!
00:47:40Stop!
00:47:41Keep early on fire!
00:47:42Speed it!
00:47:44Our mother!
00:47:45Albert, hurry up!
00:47:46It's good!
00:47:53Keep it off those packing stations!
00:48:03Why can't it turn it off?
00:48:04I can't hold it much longer!
00:48:06Get it off!
00:48:07Keep it away from the pump!
00:48:09I'm going to stop it!
00:48:11Hurry up!
00:48:12Get it away!
00:48:13Keep it off!
00:48:23Four!
00:48:25Five!
00:48:28That is a lot!
00:48:29Are you sure?
00:48:30Of course I am!
00:48:31There's only five!
00:48:32I counted them!
00:48:37And then I shall put it to the vote.
00:48:39All those in favor?
00:48:44Aye!
00:48:45Aye!
00:48:46Aye!
00:48:47Aye!
00:48:48Aye!
00:48:49Aye!
00:48:50Aye!
00:48:52So we're dismissed, eh?
00:48:54I'm afraid so.
00:48:55Well, what about our two weeks' money?
00:48:57Yes, we've always had that.
00:48:59Here, what about my sales?
00:49:02You'll hand in the key of the fire station.
00:49:04Tomorrow morning the equipment will be checked.
00:49:08Hello, yes?
00:49:09Speaking?
00:49:10My house?
00:49:11Yes, what about it?
00:49:13This what?
00:49:14It...
00:49:15God heavens!
00:49:16What's happening?
00:49:17My house is on fire!
00:49:18Viking!
00:49:19Quick!
00:49:20Get out the engine!
00:49:21Oh, me?
00:49:22Oh, no!
00:49:23My house is ablaze!
00:49:24Oh, I can't help that, I'm sick!
00:49:25Oh, but you can't see my house burnt to the ground!
00:49:29Hey, let him have a go at it!
00:49:30He's clever about putting fires out!
00:49:32Yeah, and we'll go and watch him!
00:49:36Oh, look at the smoke!
00:49:37Look at it!
00:49:38He'd better hurry!
00:49:39He's quite lovely, ain't he?
00:49:43Good Lord!
00:49:44The whole roof's on fire!
00:49:45For my sake, man, you must go!
00:49:47Listen, we'll go on one condition!
00:49:49Yes, yes?
00:49:50You give us back our jobs!
00:49:51Oh, anything only!
00:49:52Hurry, hurry!
00:49:53Right!
00:49:54We'll save fire brigade!
00:49:55Forward!
00:50:02Hurry, boys, make it snappy!
00:50:05Come on, boys!
00:50:13Okay, ten!
00:50:14Twelve!
00:50:16Pull it up the back and let's get going!
00:50:18Right!
00:50:28Jim, quick, they're coming back!
00:50:29Come on!
00:50:46I've put some on the control board.
00:50:47I wouldn't light the engine fire!
00:50:48Eh?
00:50:49Oh, here, here!
00:50:50Here, here!
00:50:51Come on, tell me something!
00:50:52I don't want to hear it!
00:50:53Light the engine fire!
00:50:54Yes, but I...
00:50:55You know what I say!
00:50:56Light the engine fire!
00:50:57I can't light the engine fire!
00:50:58Why not?
00:50:59Because there ain't no engine here!
00:51:00What?
00:51:01There's a fire stand there!
00:51:02He's got it!
00:51:03He's gone!
00:51:04Oh!
00:51:09Percy's gone, too!
00:51:10Hey, who's been turning out our brigade?
00:51:12Oh, look!
00:51:13What?
00:51:15Oh, it's from that film company!
00:51:16Oh!
00:51:17Yeah, listen!
00:51:18Thanks for the engine,
00:51:19and close herewith the other ten pounds!
00:51:21Oh, thanks!
00:51:24That's mine!
00:51:25Never mind!
00:51:26There's no time to argue!
00:51:27Get away!
00:51:28We've got a fire to put out!
00:51:29What, with the engine we haven't got?
00:51:31They can't take liberties like that with me!
00:51:33I'm going to phone that film company
00:51:34and tell them to send it straight back!
00:51:36Fine!
00:51:37And order two ton of coal
00:51:38for the mayor's house while you're about it!
00:51:40Hello?
00:51:41Get me the film studios!
00:51:42Hello?
00:51:43Get me the film studios!
00:51:44Huh?
00:51:45What?
00:51:46Oh!
00:51:47What's the name of the film company?
00:51:48Don't know!
00:51:49If I did, I wouldn't tell you!
00:51:51Nothing on the letter, either!
00:51:52I should know the name if I heard it!
00:51:54What film studios have you got?
00:51:56Hmm?
00:51:58No, no, it's none of those!
00:52:00Their representative came and called on me last Monday!
00:52:02I don't know his name,
00:52:03but he's a thin fellow
00:52:04with a bowler hat and a little moustache!
00:52:07No, no, not Charlie Chaplin!
00:52:10Oh!
00:52:11What did he say?
00:52:12Oh, he says the mayor's house is on fire!
00:52:14Oh!
00:52:16Shut up!
00:52:17Well, we'd better start packing!
00:52:19What for? We haven't been sacked yet!
00:52:20No, the mayor said he'd give us another chance!
00:52:22Yeah, but that was before we gave him an illuminated address!
00:52:33Okay, you guys, get the shafts off this engine!
00:52:35Oh, my God!
00:52:38I'll be a son of a gun!
00:52:39How did he get in here?
00:52:40He must have been out all the time!
00:52:41Yeah!
00:52:42Come on, Hudson!
00:52:43Yeah, yeah!
00:52:44Come on, get up!
00:52:45Come on, beat it!
00:52:46Come on, hurry up!
00:52:48All right, fellas, get the hands of your arm and work fast!
00:52:50All right!
00:52:57I mean, I could have done with a bigger box, too!
00:52:59Well, what do you want to take away all that junk for?
00:53:01Well, you don't think I'm going to leave it here for our successes, do you?
00:53:03Why not?
00:53:04They're no friends of ours!
00:53:05Yeah, that's quite enough of that from you, mate!
00:53:07And that doesn't belong to you, either!
00:53:13Hello?
00:53:14Yeah, speaking!
00:53:16You what?
00:53:18They've found Percy!
00:53:19No, it's no use us coming to fetch him!
00:53:21You'd better keep him!
00:53:22Yeah, he's sacked the same as us!
00:53:26Where is he?
00:53:27Whooping Old Stairs Police Station!
00:53:29He's been pinched!
00:53:30Whooping Old Stairs?
00:53:31Blimey, that's in London!
00:53:32How did he get there?
00:53:33Here!
00:53:34I'll take up the engine there and Percy's followed him!
00:53:36Listen, Inspector Hornley, what does it matter who's got him?
00:53:38We haven't got him, and we haven't got a job, either!
00:53:40Got a knife?
00:53:41That's another thing we haven't got!
00:53:43Oh, well, I've got a little grumpy in my pockets!
00:53:45And I know what's in those pockets, so don't try and knock anything off!
00:53:49Nothing worth knocking off!
00:53:51Hey, that's your footless-to-pay letter!
00:53:53You haven't even done with it yet!
00:53:55I'm not surprised!
00:53:56What were those two fires, and you two fat heads have no time for anything!
00:53:59Yeah, and mind me, I wonder how that fire's going on!
00:54:01Oh, don't talk shop!
00:54:02Hey, listen to this!
00:54:03London Fire Brigade Headquarters!
00:54:05Yes, sir!
00:54:06Our analyst reports favourably on your formula.
00:54:08Could you be available to demonstrate here at 3 o'clock on the 15th?
00:54:11We're amazed!
00:54:12That'll teach him to suck us!
00:54:1315th?
00:54:14Yes, tomorrow!
00:54:15You can't do it!
00:54:16Oh, why can't I do it?
00:54:17We haven't got an engine!
00:54:18No?
00:54:19Well, we've got all night to find it, and we're going to!
00:54:20Here!
00:54:21Where did they say they had Percy?
00:54:22In Clink!
00:54:23I know that, but which Clink?
00:54:24I don't remember!
00:54:25A place called Whacking Big Steps!
00:54:26A place called what?
00:54:27Whacking Big Steps!
00:54:28Whacking Big Steps!
00:54:29Whooping Old Steps!
00:54:30Oh!
00:54:31Ah!
00:54:32Oh, dear!
00:54:33Oh, uh, hello!
00:54:34Is the, uh, is the fire out yet?
00:54:35Oh, yes!
00:54:36You'll be burnt out!
00:54:37Arrest those men!
00:54:38Here they are!
00:54:40What sort of a horse was that?
00:55:07What sort of a horse was it?
00:55:09Oh, usual kind of horse, you know, oblong and plumped at one end.
00:55:12Here.
00:55:13Well, he's clean. He's a white draft horse.
00:55:15Yes, he's got the hair on his ankle.
00:55:17And the answer's the name of Percy.
00:55:19Yes, here it is.
00:55:21It was brought in at 5.45.
00:55:23Do you know where he was found, if he had a fire engine on him or not?
00:55:26Don't try to be funny. Is this your horse or isn't it?
00:55:29Of course it's our horse.
00:55:30Well, there's five shillings to pay.
00:55:32Five shillings? I mean, do we have to bail him out?
00:55:34A shilling police fee and four shillings for his food.
00:55:37Well, I mean, what do you think, giving him chicken?
00:55:39He's had two buckets of hay and chopped oats.
00:55:41Chopped oats? Oh, he's to give him sawdust. He doesn't know the difference.
00:55:44Look, you're wasting my time.
00:55:46Sign here, give me the five shillings and take the horse away.
00:55:48All right, well, where is he?
00:55:50He's tied up in the yard.
00:55:51What? Out in the cold with that cop of his?
00:55:53Hey, if that horse gets drunk on us, I'll report you to the RSVPA.
00:55:58There he is.
00:56:00They leave him out in the cold, then.
00:56:02That's some daddy. That's some daddy.
00:56:04That's some me. Take your whiskers out of his mouth, will you?
00:56:06We've got work to do. Go on, untie him.
00:56:08All right, all right. Go on, then.
00:56:10Whoa, Percy. Whoa, whoa. Good boy.
00:56:13Now, listen. Where'd you leave the engine?
00:56:15Was it that way?
00:56:18Well, was it that way?
00:56:22Well, was it straight ahead?
00:56:26He don't know much, do he?
00:56:28No, but even if that he knows more than you.
00:56:30Hey, I've got an idea. Let's shout fire and see which way he goes.
00:56:32Good.
00:56:34Fire! Fire!
00:56:37Ow.
00:56:40Got any more bright ideas?
00:56:42Yeah, let's tie him up again and go back home.
00:56:46Ooh, that woke him up. What did you do?
00:56:48Well, I only checked that tin.
00:56:49Did you? Here.
00:56:55Now, look here. When I shake this tin, we'll all shout fire, you see?
00:56:58Yeah. Ready?
00:56:59One, two, three.
00:57:01Fire! Fire!
00:57:05Stop!
00:57:07At two minutes to 12, Jim will cut the fire alarm wires which run along this wall of the tower.
00:57:13At midnight exactly, Len and Mike will be at this spot with our smoke bombs.
00:57:17Are they both set?
00:57:18Yes, they went in with the visitors this afternoon.
00:57:20The van will be here.
00:57:22At 12 strikes, you will pass in as the Tower Fire Brigade.
00:57:25You will make straight for the Jewel Tower, leaving the engine here so as to block that opening.
00:57:30Hank and Jim, you both know your jobs.
00:57:32Yes, sir.
00:57:33Well, that's all.
00:57:34The success of this plan depends on every move being timed to the split second.
00:57:38It's now 11.33 exactly.
00:57:40The van will leave here in four minutes, so get along.
00:57:43All right.
00:57:51Huh.
00:57:54They're locked.
00:57:55What do we do now?
00:57:56Let's ring the bell and ask for our engine back.
00:57:58That'd be silly. We can't do that. We don't have the engines there.
00:58:00We've only got Percy's word for it.
00:58:02Let's get through a crack in the door.
00:58:05There ain't any crack.
00:58:07I'll give you a bunk up, then you can climb over the top.
00:58:09What, up there?
00:58:10Yeah.
00:58:11But there are no spikes.
00:58:13Well, if you sit on them firmly, they won't hurt you.
00:58:15Yeah? Well, you try that.
00:58:17I'm going to try the wall.
00:58:21Your tire's still here.
00:58:23Yeah, but there are no spikes.
00:58:24We'll never get over there.
00:58:25Oh, yes, we will.
00:58:26Uh, Bottle, turn Percy around.
00:58:28Look, we'll get on to Percy's back, then you two climb up on my shoulders, you see?
00:58:32Come on.
00:58:33Whoa, Percy. Whoa, boy.
00:58:35Whoa, whoa.
00:58:36All right, now, come on, let's make a start.
00:58:37I'll get up first, then you two get up onto my shoulders.
00:58:39And when you both get to the top, you pull me up after you.
00:58:41Give me a bunk up, come on.
00:58:42Here, here, here.
00:58:43How do we get Percy up?
00:58:45How do we get Percy up?
00:58:46What on earth do you want to get Percy up for?
00:58:48So we can get down the other side.
00:58:50All right, all right.
00:58:51I'll bring Percy up under my arm.
00:58:53Here, take my helmet.
00:58:55All right.
00:58:57There.
00:59:07All right, get up there.
00:59:09Wait a minute.
00:59:10I'm coming up.
00:59:11Here.
00:59:16Come on, Terry, come on.
00:59:18Here I come.
00:59:23Right, now climb up onto my shoulders.
00:59:26Yes.
00:59:27What have I got to hang on with me teeth?
00:59:28Well, that's how they do it in the circus.
00:59:30I suppose you'd like me to juggle a couple of others at the same time, would you?
00:59:33All right, up you get, up you get.
00:59:35Keep it still up there.
00:59:36Easy, easy.
00:59:37Here I go.
00:59:40Don't tickle me.
00:59:52Take your foot off my ear.
00:59:56No.
00:59:59Unlock the gates.
01:00:02Okay, let's go.
01:00:26Percy, come back.
01:00:35Come in thing you think I'll go through.
01:00:37Well, it was Percy that let us down.
01:00:39Well, then, after her engine did.
01:00:41Our engine?
01:00:42Yes, well, then that van is out of the way.
01:00:44Well, when did you tell me that before?
01:00:45When you came down into the tally.
01:00:46Well, go on, after him and keep Percy in sight.
01:00:50They all set him up.
01:00:52Yeah.
01:00:53Look what we've got.
01:00:54Wait a minute.
01:00:58Holy smokes, there's that doggone horse again.
01:01:01Come on, come on now, get out of here, come on.
01:01:03Beat it, come on.
01:01:16Danny, Jenny, Danny!
01:01:17Come on, come on, scram. Get out of here. Go on, beat it, beat it. On your way.
01:01:30I thought you said you saw Percy galloping down the street.
01:01:32I said I heard a clatter of hoofs.
01:01:34Your Greg's rattling. That's what he was. Now we don't know where we are.
01:01:37Cool up. Winter Castle.
01:01:38Winter Castle? Winter Castle's in Scotland. That's the Tower of London.
01:01:42Well, that's where we're towering.
01:01:44No, that's in Blackpool.
01:01:45Yeah, and I wish you were there with it, too.
01:01:47Oh, look. Look, it's Percy.
01:01:49Oh, hey, where did you come from?
01:01:50Oh, I told you I heard hoofs.
01:01:51Hey, the engine can't be far away.
01:01:53Didn't they say they were making a historical film?
01:01:55Yes.
01:01:56Well, for that matter, they're filming in the tower. Follow me.
01:01:58Come on, Percy. Come on, boy.
01:02:02Halt. Who goes there?
01:02:03Uh, please don't match us in the horse.
01:02:05Advance one and give the counterside.
01:02:07I don't know what you're talking about.
01:02:09Go on, push off or else I'll call the guard out. Hop it. Go on.
01:02:11Yeah, old Percy.
01:02:13I'm sorry. I only wanted to ask if you...
01:02:15It's all right.
01:02:16There you are.
01:02:17I only wanted to ask if you knew if there were so many...
01:02:19Tell me what you're doing to that man.
01:02:20Oh, shoot me.
01:02:21Fetch him.
01:02:22Halt.
01:02:23Oh, I came in, sir.
01:02:24Right, all right.
01:02:25Quick, march.
01:02:26Mr. Manifest, I...
01:02:27I don't need to ask your work.
01:02:28Mark time.
01:02:29Tell me what you want.
01:02:30Could you tell me if they're filming in there?
01:02:32Ask him about our engine.
01:02:33Oh, yeah, yeah.
01:02:34We're looking for a fire engine like this. Have you seen it anywhere?
01:02:37Of course I have.
01:02:38It's in the West Bastion.
01:02:39Forward.
01:02:40Eh?
01:02:41In the West Bastion.
01:02:42Well, did you hear what he said?
01:02:43I only asked him a simple question.
01:02:45Well, he told you he means one of those round four things in the West Corner.
01:02:49Oh, is that what he meant?
01:02:50Oh, I think.
01:02:56Hey, there you are.
01:02:57Car five again.
01:02:58Hey, perhaps they know something about it.
01:02:59Yeah.
01:03:05Know something?
01:03:06Blimey, they've got it.
01:03:07Cool.
01:03:08Oh, I see them knocking it off.
01:03:10Yes.
01:03:11Hey, anybody there?
01:03:13All right, boys, get her out and turn her around.
01:03:15There's only a few seconds to go.
01:03:42Okay, boys, let's go.
01:03:49Anybody there?
01:03:57Is that funny?
01:03:58It's that fair engine.
01:03:59Nothing funny.
01:04:00Look at Bertie.
01:04:01He knows.
01:04:02Well, I don't need you now that I can.
01:04:03What's the matter?
01:04:04Let's get it.
01:04:05Right.
01:04:07Oh, oh, oh, oh.
01:04:10Look at that.
01:04:11Car five again.
01:04:12What's the matter now?
01:04:13It's a fire.
01:04:14Look for yourself.
01:04:20That's funny, isn't it?
01:04:21That's funny.
01:04:28What's the matter?
01:04:29There's a fire.
01:04:30Look.
01:04:31Car five.
01:04:32Everybody will go.
01:04:33The world's wrong.
01:04:37Let's get them out of there.
01:04:38Now, listen.
01:04:39I don't want any arguments this time.
01:04:40My fire engine's gone through there, and I want to go and get it.
01:04:43Who's stopping you?
01:04:46Oh, come on.
01:04:47Come on, friends.
01:04:48We're going to see the town of London.
01:05:02Hey, don't film people after all.
01:05:05They said they were going to film the fire.
01:05:06Yes, but they're not going to do it with my engine.
01:05:08Go on, Percy boy.
01:05:09Catch him.
01:05:10Catch him.
01:05:18I can't see any cameras.
01:05:19Well, they must be shooting here somewhere.
01:05:20Go on.
01:05:21Follow Percy.
01:05:23Hey, who was that?
01:05:24Something went bad.
01:05:25Hey, if they've busted my engine, I'll show them.
01:05:28Hey, there it is.
01:05:29What?
01:05:30Oh.
01:05:31They ain't busted it.
01:05:32Oh.
01:05:34Well, that's all of it.
01:05:35Hey, look at this.
01:05:36Look at this stuff.
01:05:37I tell you, this isn't ours.
01:05:39This is it.
01:05:40I know it by the scent.
01:05:41It is this.
01:05:42Ah, this is ours, all right.
01:05:44All of your money.
01:05:45Right, that's everything.
01:05:46Now, you wait till I find out who's in charge of that film.
01:05:55It's gone.
01:05:56Hey, Charlie.
01:05:57I saw some bombs over there on the screen.
01:05:59Oh, my goodness.
01:06:00Look at that.
01:06:02Hey, they look like a real fire to me.
01:06:04And me.
01:06:05Let's go out.
01:06:06Hey, come here.
01:06:07Come here.
01:06:08This is the chance of a lifetime.
01:06:09Here we are on the spot of the biggest historical fire.
01:06:11Do you want to go home?
01:06:12Come on.
01:06:13Man the pump.
01:06:14Come on.
01:06:15Hurry up, boys.
01:06:16Get it moving.
01:06:17Quick.
01:06:18Come on.
01:06:19Hurry up, all of you.
01:06:20Turn it on.
01:06:21Easy, huh?
01:06:24Come on.
01:06:25Put it on.
01:06:26Come on.
01:06:28Oh, no.
01:06:29It's the farmer.
01:06:30He must have come through to the other side.
01:06:31Yeah, well, he can go back again.
01:06:32We were here first.
01:06:33Yes, give him a slip.
01:06:36Give him a slip.
01:06:39Oh, farmer.
01:06:40You tell us nothing professional, have you, kid?
01:06:42This is our fire.
01:06:43We were here first.
01:06:46Oh, hey, what have you got there?
01:06:48That's a cloud, too.
01:06:51Hey, get your hands off me.
01:06:52What are you doing?
01:06:53Stop it.
01:06:54I want to help.
01:06:55Stop it.
01:06:56Stop it!
01:06:57Stop it!
01:06:58Wait a minute.
01:07:06Now look at his nose.
01:07:08Give me your hand.
01:07:19Wait.
01:07:20Wait.
01:07:24Robin.
01:07:25Ma, I've seen all now. They're not making a single at all.
01:07:28It's a bird living here.
01:07:30Don't let it get away.
01:07:32Don't let it get away.
01:07:35Oh!
01:07:37What's that?
01:07:39Give me your wallet.
01:07:41No, I've got it. It's all underneath there.
01:07:43Keep the money.
01:07:45I hope we've got enough for this bus for the last hour.
01:07:47Of course we've got enough. Just keep the money.
01:07:51Here, look what I've found.
01:07:53Lord Mayor's wallopers.
01:07:55Lord Mayor's wallopers.
01:07:57What happened to that, sir? Royalty?
01:07:59I can't see any of them moving.
01:08:01Yes, they must all be duplicates.
01:08:03Well, I'm going to go in and check them out one by one.
01:08:05Albert, you work your way around.
01:08:07If you see any of them trying to get away,
01:08:09one at a time, make a call.
01:08:11Yes, sir.
01:08:17That stuff is yummy.
01:08:24Hey, who's throwing stones?
01:08:26Albert, was that you?
01:08:32Come with me, Albert.
01:08:34Hey, what are you doing?
01:08:36Help! Albert!
01:08:38Albert, help us! Help, help!
01:08:40Up the wallop!
01:08:43I'm going to stomp you against the wall.
01:08:45I'm going to kneel.
01:08:47My boy loves that.
01:08:52Where are you?
01:08:54Oh! Oh!
01:08:57Come here.
01:08:59Stay there.
01:09:01Albert!
01:09:11I'm over here, sir.
01:09:13Albert!
01:09:15All right, men. I'll lead the way.
01:09:19One of you.
01:09:21There's another.
01:09:23Drop that gun, you.
01:09:25Hurry, men. Get in there.
01:09:27Oh, no, you don't.
01:09:29All right, I've got him, Bob.
01:09:32Now, don't suck anything.
01:09:37Back away, back away.
01:09:40Come on, men.
01:09:45Oh, there goes Country and all of him.
01:09:51Let go, you fool.
01:09:53Oh, you must.
01:09:55Come on, Albert.
01:10:01Inspector.
01:10:03Hang Sullivan, eh?
01:10:05Getting ambitious, aren't you, trying to get away with the crown jewels?
01:10:07We would have got away with them, too, if it hadn't been for this mutt.
01:10:09Hey, what is it, anyway?
01:10:11Oh, whatever it is, it seems we've made a pretty good job of you, fellas.
01:10:13Just what I was thinking.
01:10:15I'd like to meet the men responsible for this.
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