From Indonesia to Singapore | Here To Stay
"My aunt had this interesting rule, which is like she will charge us $1 every time we speak Bahasa Indonesia at home" quips Trifani as she recounts on the earlier days when she just moved to Singapore. 24-year-old Trifani Julinda, moved to Singapore at the age of eight for better education and opportunities. She reflects on the differences between her slow-paced childhood in a wooden house in Kuala Tungkal and the fast-paced life in Singapore.
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LifestyleTranscript
00:00They stayed in Singapore with me for around one week.
00:02And then, on the last day, when they were leaving,
00:07I think they were trying to leave discreetly,
00:10but they failed because I woke up and
00:13I saw them, like, leaving the house.
00:23My name is Trivani Jelinda.
00:25I'm 24 years old.
00:26I'm from Indonesia.
00:29I'm Trivani Jelinda, I'm 24 this year,
00:31and I came from Indonesia.
00:33So I came to Singapore when I was 8 years old.
00:36So I've been here for around 16 years.
00:38So I came from this town called Kuala Tunggal.
00:41Life was rather slow as compared to here.
00:44More of a kampung.
00:47So I used to stay in those wooden houses
00:50and my mum would have a shop house downstairs.
00:52So she would sell necessities such as...
00:55It ranges from snacks, to rice, to instant noodles.
00:59Sometimes, after school, my dad would bring me
01:02and my brother to his gudang, which is where he works at.
01:05And then, me and my brother usually would just
01:08spend our evenings there, just running around
01:10and just having fun.
01:11So last time, I spent a lot of time with my cousins
01:13in Indonesia, playing around as well.
01:16Before I moved here to study,
01:18I always thought that Singapore is more of a tourist place,
01:21so I would just come here and have fun,
01:24go to the US, all the touristy places
01:27and just spend time with my cousins.
01:29I think it started off with my cousins.
01:32My cousins moved over to Singapore when they were around my age
01:36and they were all around 12 years older than me.
01:39I remember there was this one incident when
01:41my uncle and my dad were talking right outside the house.
01:44I kind of guessed that it was about
01:47moving me over to Singapore to study
01:49for good education and environment.
01:51The environment in general is assuring for them
01:54since my aunt has been taking care of all my other cousins beforehand.
01:58But before that, my dad kind of already asked me
02:01if I wanted to move over to Singapore to study or not.
02:05And to me as a kid, I was very excited to move over
02:08because I guess it was a very interesting idea.
02:11So I said, okay, and that's why I was sent over to Singapore to study.
02:20So when I first came to Singapore, my aunt had this interesting rule
02:24which is like, she will charge us $1
02:27every time we speak Bahasa Indonesia at home.
02:30So at that point in time, I had 6 months to learn English and Chinese
02:34before I take the placement test.
02:35So she was trying to help me learn English and Chinese faster
02:40by restricting my use of Bahasa Indonesia at home.
02:42Now that I look back at it, it's actually quite funny, the idea itself
02:46because I don't really have a lot of allowance.
02:48So it's like $1, gone.
02:49Because I just used a sentence in Bahasa, it's like
02:52what?
02:53Yeah, when my English and Chinese is still very, very bad
02:56I used actions to express myself instead.
02:59There was this one time, I was trying to tell my cousin to help me chop this vegetable
03:04but because I wasn't allowed to use Bahasa Indonesia
03:07I cannot speak English and Chinese well
03:09so I had to use my actions to show her.
03:11So I was like
03:14please?
03:15Yeah.
03:15And now looking back, I think it was quite an effective measure
03:18because I think $1 means a lot as a kid.
03:22So it kind of really helps me to pick up English and Chinese faster
03:26and I guess it's also thanks to her that I get to pass the placement test
03:30within that 6 months.
03:33I spent a lot of time with my cousin at home
03:35and my aunt puts in a lot of effort to kind of bond us together.
03:39During the weekends, she'll bring us to
03:42USS, Sea Aquarium.
03:44I think what I remember the most is
03:46us preparing sushi together
03:48because we get to chop the sausage
03:51make them into faces like onigiri
03:53and then we'll go picnic at East Coast Pub
03:56or like just Bishan Pub
03:57just to spend time together.
03:59When I came to Singapore, I guess what I have to give up is
04:02my time with my family members.
04:04I think for my parents, because
04:06when I first moved over to Singapore
04:09I didn't really have any ways for me to contact them.
04:13So ever since then
04:15I guess I kind of drifted away and
04:18lost the ability to connect with them in a deeper level.
04:24I didn't have any phones or anything for me to contact them
04:28every day to at least tell them about my day.
04:31So I guess it kind of felt lonely
04:34to be in Singapore alone even though I had my cousins
04:38or my older sister.
04:41There was this once, they came to visit me in Singapore
04:44after a long time.
04:46But I guess we don't really check up on each other a lot
04:50and I lost the ability to kind of call them
04:55like mummy or daddy
04:56because it's just been a very long time since
05:02I called them.
05:04And in general, it just makes it very difficult for me to
05:08talk to them about my day.
05:09On the day itself when they came
05:11I didn't really realise that it was a problem because
05:15I was just trying to avoid it.
05:16So when they came to the house, I was just hiding in my own room
05:20and just hoped that maybe by dinner time, I'll be more neutral.
05:24I try to communicate with my parents still
05:27but one of my regrets is that
05:29because I've been using English and Chinese in Singapore
05:32so I kind of lost the ability to speak and converse in Bahasa Indonesia.
05:37And because my dad only knows how to speak Teochew and Bahasa
05:42so sometimes when I converse with him
05:44it's very hard to get our point across.
05:47I think it's very saddening that we cannot converse
05:49or just understand each other better.
05:52Now, I try to text my parents more and just check up on them but
05:59because they are not very text-savvy so
06:01it's not very easy for me to
06:04still connect with them through the internet.
06:06The easiest way for me to talk to them and connect with them would be
06:09flying over to hang out and spend time with them.
06:13I knew that it wasn't easy to send me over to Singapore
06:16for my parents
06:18but I think I only registered it recently
06:21or maybe not at that point in time because
06:24when I moved over to Singapore, they actually accompanied me.
06:28So they stayed in Singapore with me for around one week
06:32and then on the last day
06:36when they were leaving
06:38I think they were trying to leave discreetly
06:41but they failed because I woke up and
06:44I saw them leaving the house and
06:48they were walking towards the lift.
06:50So I was just crying at the gate
06:55begging them to bring me with them.
06:59And I can tell that
07:02my dad wanted to turn around and bring me back to Indonesia.
07:08But I think my mum talked it out with him and I found out about this
07:13maybe a few years after when my mum told me that
07:16oh actually that time when you were crying at the gate
07:19your dad was also crying.
07:25So it's not because they don't love me
07:27that's why they sent me over but because
07:29they love me and they want
07:32me to get the best of everything
07:34that's why they had to let go and
07:36send me over to Singapore to study.
07:44Something that I want to tell my parents is that
07:46I'm very, very grateful that they
07:49decided to send me over to Singapore to study
07:52and provide me with such a good environment to grow up with.
07:55I understand that it's also because
07:57they are working very hard in Indonesia to provide
08:00for me and my siblings.
08:03But I just wish that we could have spent more time together
08:07and have a bit more interaction
08:11and want them to be a part of my childhood more.
08:14I've grown to like Singapore because
08:16I found my second family which is my
08:18dance friends and the community in general.
08:21And I really love my job because it's really something that
08:25I am very interested in.
08:28My colleagues are all very nice and they are very supportive.
08:31And even though I started work maybe like
08:35half a year, I already feel that
08:36the company is where I foresee myself staying in the future.
08:41I'm planning to settle down in Singapore
08:43and build my family here because
08:47I think what I experienced in Singapore
08:49in terms of the education and environment-wise is
08:52what I want my future kids to have.
08:54And at the same time, I also want to
08:56spend a lot of time with them while they grow up.
09:00Dear younger self,
09:01I know it might be scary to move over to Singapore at such a young age
09:05but just have fun and trust the process.
09:08You'll be glad that you moved over here in the future
09:11and remember to thank Papi and Mami.
09:13It's not easy to leave them and all your friends back at home
09:17but you'll find your new home here with new friends.
09:20Your family will still be one call away
09:22so try to stay in contact with them as much as possible
09:25and spend time with them even though you guys are not in the same country.
09:29Mimi and Daddy might be strict on you now
09:31but just know that they care a lot about you
09:33that's why they take care of you so much.
09:35I'm so excited for you to grow up in Singapore
09:37and for the future to come by.
09:39Lastly, to my Papi and Mami
09:42thank you for sending me here and I promise I'll work hard
09:44to create and build a good future for myself.
09:47Love, your older self.
09:55SINGAPORE INTERNATIONAL FOOTBALL LEAGUE