• 4 months ago
Trump Attempts Intellectual Economy Speech, Trashes Biden, Harris, Tic Tacs Instead _ The Daily Show
Transcript
00:00Kamala Harris is crushing it. She's up in the polls, she's raising tons of money, she
00:05collected the white man infinity stone. It all poses a big problem for Donald
00:11Trump, who's been trying everything he can think of to stop her assent. He's
00:15been insulting her race, insulting her race even more, oh, insulting her gender,
00:21even more race stuff, blah blah blah. But somehow it's not working, so his allies
00:27have some radical proposals for him. The winning formula for President Trump is
00:31very plain to see, it's fewer insults, more insights, and that policy contrast.
00:35Donald Trump just needs to focus on the issues. Hit her with her policies first. Don't call
00:40her stupid and all kinds of names, stay on message. Stop questioning the size of
00:45her crowds and start questioning her position. Quit whining about her. It's not
00:49gonna win talking about what race Kamala Harris is, it's not gonna win talking
00:54about whether she's dumb. You know your campaign's going really badly when you
01:02need advice from the woman who lost by 40 points and the guy who was House
01:05Speaker for less than a week. And maybe, just maybe, they got through to him because
01:13yesterday he announced that he would give a major policy speech on the
01:18economy, which is a big change for him. Although you could tell he wasn't very
01:21excited about it.
01:23Now this is a little bit different day because this isn't around, this is
01:26we're talking about a thing called the economy. They wanted to do a speech on
01:31the economy. A lot of people are very devastated by what's happened with
01:35inflation and all of the other things, so we're doing this as a intellectual
01:39speech. You're all intellectuals today. Today we're doing it and we're doing it
01:44right now.
01:46Alright, I guess we're doing it. We're doing it right now. Now he
01:54understands what every woman was thinking when they slept with him.
02:05Let's just get it over with right now. Just right now. I mean Trump's crowd had
02:11to also have been disappointed because they were there for a Trump rally, not an
02:14intellectual speech. That's like logging onto Pornhub and only getting TED Talks.
02:20I mean, I'm still going to jerk off to it, it's just going to take longer. But with just
02:2681 days left until the election, Trump needs to focus on the issues. So let's
02:31hear this intellectual focused economic policy speech.
02:35Crooked Joe, he didn't do interviews either. Remember Joe, what kind of ice
02:40cream is your favorite? Vanilla. Oh, I like vanilla. That was George
02:44Flopadopoulos. Okay, I guess you got to warm up first. You can't just jump right
02:50into the economics. Start by attacking the guy you're not even running against
02:54anymore. But now that you're warmed up, economics. Go. You're getting out now Joe.
03:01We can do it the nice way or we can do it the hard way. And he's getting out.
03:07He's getting out. In fact, they're not even giving him a good spot to speak. You
03:12know, when he's speaking on Monday, Monday is not that. That's the worst day.
03:18Monday is the worst day. That's a Garfield policy.
03:21Come on. Joe Biden is not in the race anymore. Let's focus on your current
03:36opponent. Barack Hussein Obama. Oh, my God. Oh, my God.
03:42Girl, you got to move on. He does not think about you. Okay, your current
03:51opponent is Kamala Harris. Say something substantive about Kamala Harris. That's
03:56the laugh of a crazy person. I will tell you if you haven't done too crazy.
04:01She's crazy. That's the laugh of a person with some big problems. Yeah,
04:06yeah. Kamala is the one with the big problems. Definitely. Also, it is so
04:11inappropriate to insult a woman's laugh. Women are supposed to laugh.
04:15It's mandated by our pillows.
04:26You know what? You win. Just talk about whatever the you want to talk about.
04:30And now they're putting her on the covers of Time magazine with an artist
04:34sketch. They don't use a picture. They use an artist sketch. I want to use that
04:38artist. I want to find that artist. I like him very much.
04:43Donald, do you really need a new sketch artist? I feel like you have plenty of
04:47sketches.
04:57Look, I hate to nitpick, but in this speech about the economy, do you think
05:01at any point you might want to say something about the economy? I did have
05:05something I would show you. Wait a minute. I don't know if you've seen
05:09this. I used it once. Oh, I have it. I do have it. Look at this. Look at this.
05:16So this is Tic Tacs, right?
05:21Yes. I mean, they came out of your pocket, so they might be roofies, but
05:27okay, for the sake of the argument, their Tic Tacs. What does that have to
05:31do with the economy?
05:33But that's what happened. This is inflation. This is Tic Tac. This is
05:39Tic. This is inflation. This is what's happened. I just happened to have
05:44somebody gave me this one today. I said, I think we'll put it up as an example
05:48of inflation.
05:51That is not an example of inflation. It's just two different sizes of
05:55breath mints. I mean, my understanding of macroeconomics is limited, but I do
06:01know for a fact that inflation is not defined as big Tic Tac, little Tic
06:06Tac.
06:16And by the way, Donald, if someone hands you a breath mint, they're not
06:19suggesting you talk about inflation. They're suggesting you take a breath
06:24mint. For more on Trump's economic agenda, we go live to Troy Iwata.
06:32Yeah.
06:37Boy, that Tic Tac thing was so weird, right? You know what? You're weird,
06:42Desi. Okay, because Donald Trump is absolutely right. This is a real
06:46problem. This box of Tic Tacs is big, and this one is small. That's
06:53inflation.
06:55Uh, no, I don't think so, Troy. Those are just two different sizes. They
07:00sell at different prices. It's not inflation. No, Desi, it is inflation.
07:03I took economics 101, which I never slept through sometimes. Okay, there
07:09are examples of inflation in any grocery store. For example, this is
07:14soda. Okay, and this is soda.
07:18Thanks. Inflation.
07:22Troy, those are just two different sizes of soda, and the bigger one is
07:27more expensive.
07:28Yeah, right.
07:32Okay, you're not getting it. How about this? Okay, I bought this bag of
07:36chips last week, and today I went back in the same aisle, and instead of
07:40chips, it's toilet paper.
07:45Joe Biden? More like Joe single-plied in.
07:51The store probably just rearranged things. Those are different products,
07:54Troy. You're telling me these disintegrate in salsa.
08:01These examples are not proving Trump's point. Okay, Desi, I'm gonna tell you
08:05something my economics professor told me. Wake up, because here's another
08:11thing for you. This suit jacket, okay, fit me perfectly two weeks ago, and
08:15then I washed it, and now look.
08:20Joe Biden? More like Joe's smaller jacket den.
08:25Troy, did you run your suit through the dryer again? Of course I did. I'm not
08:29gonna wear wet clothes, Desi. Troy, just finish your report and come back to
08:34the studio, please. Fine. God, cars are so much more expensive than they were
08:38last year. Yes, yes, that's it. That's inflation. No, Desi, the car is the
08:45same size. Oh my God, never mind. Troy Iwata, everyone.
08:54Mhm.