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00:00:00No other night, tonight. No other place, here. No way to stop it.
00:00:08Snick Snick
00:00:107, 6, 5, 4, 3, 2, 1
00:00:20Welcome. You are now Snicky. You are now Snicky. You are now Snicky.
00:00:30I just want you to know that right now is the most exciting moment of my entire life.
00:00:40I mean, this is the kind of thing you think in a million, billion years is never going to happen to you.
00:00:44And even when it does, you still can't believe it.
00:00:47I'm on the New York City subway.
00:00:50If anyone had ever told me, Clarissa darling, when you're 18 you'll be living in New York City and working at the New York Star Chronicle,
00:01:04I would have said, hello, are you mental?
00:01:07But as it turns out, I am.
00:01:10See, my college has this work study program.
00:01:12And if you know what you really want to do, you get to do it, out in the real world.
00:01:16Is that cool or what?
00:01:19Excuse me. I think you're sitting on me.
00:01:26Hey, go ahead. Make yourselves comfortable.
00:01:31I should be standing anyway. Don't want to miss my stop.
00:01:35Let's see, I'm supposed to get off at...
00:01:38Um, excuse me, I think my stop is somewhere behind your neck.
00:01:44Or I can just look out the window.
00:01:48Yeah.
00:01:55Isn't this great? Everywhere you go in New York, tons and tons and tons of people.
00:01:59Not just any people. The coolest, most fascinating people in the world.
00:02:03Honey, get your hand off of my butt.
00:02:10We've got track work ahead. We're being held here indefinitely.
00:02:15Oh, I am a good wife.
00:02:21This is so cool.
00:02:44Hey!
00:03:03Excuse me, I'm looking for the city editor.
00:03:07Hi, I'm the new intern.
00:03:09Intern? Great. I like my coffee light. Lunch at noon.
00:03:13Here are the keys to my apartment. Cable guy's coming any day now. Wait for him.
00:03:17Jerry, this is no comment in the city budget piece.
00:03:20Is it from the mayor or his mouthpiece?
00:03:22Uh, the mouthpiece.
00:03:23Make an effort. Get the man.
00:03:24Porter. Porter.
00:03:26What are we leading with? The president's trip to Moscow or Brooklyn baby born with full set of teeth?
00:03:32Do we have a picture?
00:03:33Okay, here's the headline.
00:03:35I'm not breastfeeding this one.
00:03:39Spencer! Beat it.
00:03:43Done.
00:03:44You know, this wouldn't be a problem if I had a computer at my desk.
00:03:47How am I supposed to write without a computer?
00:03:50Wait a minute, you're not the city editor?
00:03:52I never said I was.
00:03:53Who are you?
00:03:54Clarissa Darling, I'm the new intern.
00:03:56Porter Russell, darling, I'm the city editor.
00:03:59Nobody told me we were getting a new intern.
00:04:01We're getting a new intern.
00:04:03So what is she, basically a gopher, right? No actual reporting, right?
00:04:06And who are you?
00:04:07Spencer Armstrong, reporter.
00:04:10Actually, it's a reporter training sort of thing.
00:04:12With an emphasis on training.
00:04:14He writes photo captions, proofreads the comics,
00:04:17and if I'm in a really, really good mood, I throw him an obituary.
00:04:21Listen, if she's gonna write anything, it better not be on my beat.
00:04:26You don't have a beat.
00:04:28Exactly, and she doesn't write anything on it.
00:04:32Spencer, chill.
00:04:33Clarissa's going to be Hugh's assistant.
00:04:36Clarissa's going to be Hugh's assistant.
00:04:38Hugh Hamilton, the columnist?
00:04:41Oh, your big break.
00:04:43Have fun. See you around.
00:04:47Hugh Hamilton, he's the one they call the word warrior.
00:04:50He's got laws changed, actually solved crimes.
00:04:53He was played in the movies by Dustin Hoffman and on TV by Alan Fick.
00:04:56We don't discuss that now.
00:05:00Hugh!
00:05:04What was that?
00:05:05You know what? Let's find you a desk.
00:05:07Well, is he in there? Because I thought he was on vacation.
00:05:09It says here he's on vacation.
00:05:11Clarissa, there's something you should know about Hugh.
00:05:14He's a little burnt out and angry.
00:05:18Tends to lash out at those around him.
00:05:20As far as we know, the only thing he enjoys
00:05:23is the abuse and humiliation he inflicts on others.
00:05:26Especially his assistants.
00:05:30But who knows? Maybe you two will hit it off.
00:05:33You can sit here. There's a supply closet.
00:05:36Take whatever you need.
00:05:41Cute.
00:05:42Yeah, well, you know, a new place.
00:05:44I thought it'd be nice to have a few things from home.
00:05:46Absolutely. Could you get them off my desk?
00:05:48Oh, sorry.
00:05:52Obviously this isn't turning out exactly the way I hoped.
00:05:55But I have this really dear, sweet Aunt Violet
00:05:57and I just think of what she always says when things don't go her way.
00:06:00This bites.
00:06:09That's mine.
00:06:17Whoa!
00:06:18Excuse me.
00:06:19Excuse me.
00:06:20This is so weird, but for a second I thought you were my Aunt Violet.
00:06:24That is weird.
00:06:26Because for a second I thought you were my niece, Rose.
00:06:30Weird.
00:06:33You're new here. I'm Lillian.
00:06:35Clarissa. Yeah, it's my first day.
00:06:37I was just trying to get some supplies, but...
00:06:39Oh, dear. I guess that's my fault.
00:06:41Oh, is that your job? You run the supply closet?
00:06:43It's part of it.
00:06:44Listen, just make a list of the things you need.
00:06:46I'll make sure you get them.
00:06:47I would, but there's no paper and no pens.
00:06:50Oh, bother. I am bad at this.
00:06:54Mrs. Banyan.
00:06:56Hi.
00:06:57Hi.
00:06:58Hello. Is there anything you need?
00:07:00Anything I can do for you.
00:07:02Well, she needs a list of things so she can stock up the supply closet.
00:07:05Clarissa, Mrs. Banyan is the publisher.
00:07:08She owns the paper.
00:07:10Oh, so that would be the other part of your job.
00:07:15I don't see why she has to know that.
00:07:17I wish I could sometimes just come down to the newsroom
00:07:19and chat with people and not intimidate them so much.
00:07:22But you like to intimidate us.
00:07:24True.
00:07:26But every so often I enjoy a little chat
00:07:29with someone who isn't a total sucker.
00:07:35What do you do here, Clarissa?
00:07:37Well, at some point, I'm not exactly sure when,
00:07:39I'm going to be Hugh Hamilton's assistant.
00:07:41Oh, I thought we decided to give that job to an ex-convict.
00:07:46Actually, Mrs. Banyan...
00:07:47Lillian.
00:07:48Okay.
00:07:49Lillian, I'm really looking forward to working with Hugh Hamilton.
00:07:52And Porter already explained to me, you know,
00:07:53that he's one cheeseburger short of a happy meal.
00:07:55Oh!
00:07:57Where is the old warthog, anyway?
00:07:59Is he still on vacation?
00:08:01I'll take care of it.
00:08:06Hamilton!
00:08:07Get your rum-soaked butt out here!
00:08:14This is not a suite at the Mona Loa Hilton.
00:08:17And if you continue acting like it is,
00:08:19I'll take the room rate out of your pay!
00:08:24Oh, my God.
00:08:28If you were a dog, they'd shoot you to put you out of your misery.
00:08:32No, it wouldn't help.
00:08:34Maybe if they shot you.
00:08:37And to think, I could have hired Breslin.
00:08:40No, I said I've got Hamilton.
00:08:42You've certainly made me look like a fool.
00:08:44Don't blame me. I'm not the one that puts on your makeup.
00:08:47Listen, Hamilton, you'd better come up with something for tomorrow.
00:08:51Something really good.
00:08:53Or I'll pull your column off page three,
00:08:55and the next time your face appears in my paper,
00:08:58it'll be buried under Hagar the Horrible.
00:09:02You can approach now. I've stunned him.
00:09:06If he gives you any trouble, just let me know.
00:09:09Um, Hugh, I mean, Mr. Hamilton.
00:09:11Hi, I'm Clarissa.
00:09:14I'm your new assistant.
00:09:15I just wanted to say working with you is a total thrill and a major honor.
00:09:18That story you wrote about that little homeless boy, Benny,
00:09:21we read it in social studies.
00:09:22That part about how Benny slept with green eggs and ham.
00:09:26And you wrote, Benny gave his book what he couldn't have, a home.
00:09:31I cried. I mean, they had to send me to the nurse's office.
00:09:34You're not going to ask me to put money in a can, are you?
00:09:37That's very funny, Mr. Hamilton.
00:09:39But seriously, you know, just tell me what you want me to do.
00:09:42Get lost.
00:09:49I see you met Hamilton.
00:09:51Okay, so we have a few kinks to iron out, but it's just my first day.
00:09:54Well, it's downhill from here.
00:09:57Spencer, don't you have something better to do?
00:09:58You know, maybe there's a typo in Calvin and Hobbes.
00:10:01Let me give you some advice.
00:10:03Sit down, keep quiet, and wait around to get fired like the rest of Hugh's assistants.
00:10:08I'm not going to do that.
00:10:09Hugh Hamilton needs a story, and I'm going to find one for him.
00:10:12Ha!
00:10:13Wait, you don't think I can find one for you?
00:10:15I'm going to find one for him.
00:10:16Ha!
00:10:17Wait, you don't think I can find a story he would like?
00:10:19Let me put it this way. No.
00:10:22Well, that's just fine.
00:10:23You know, I don't need your encouragement, I don't need your support.
00:10:25In fact, I don't need anything at all from you.
00:10:30I need your pen.
00:10:37More Clarissa.
00:10:39More Snick.
00:10:40After this.
00:10:42This summer, wherever you find Crush, you'll find Sylvester and Tweety.
00:10:45I collect all pretty tags.
00:10:47Just collect Crush proofs of purchase from specially marked 12-packs and 2-liter bottles,
00:10:51and you can get free Sylvester and Tweety merchandise.
00:10:53All pretty tags.
00:10:54Like tattoos, T-shirts, and watches.
00:10:57Doesn't feel like a soft drink.
00:10:59So load up on irresistible fruit-flavored Crush today, and puff for a buck a half.
00:11:04Catch the Crush.
00:11:05That's a bug.
00:11:06Play Catch the Crush, and you can win a trip to Hollywood courtesy of Crush, Continental Airlines, and Guest Quarters Hotels.
00:11:11Catch the Crush.
00:11:12Catch the Crush.
00:11:42It's coming.
00:11:50New Super Game Boy from Nintendo.
00:11:55Play your Game Boy games on TV in living color.
00:11:58Combinations you choose, control, and change.
00:12:01All 350 Game Boy games, like New Donkey Kong.
00:12:07New Super Game Boy for SNES.
00:12:09SNES.
00:12:10It's a whole new way to play.
00:12:14Share, clean, fix, visit, care, give, do.
00:12:16Help.
00:12:18Share.
00:12:19Clean.
00:12:20Fix.
00:12:21Visit.
00:12:22Care.
00:12:23Give.
00:12:24Do.
00:12:25There's a lot of things that kids can do.
00:12:26You could go to a shelter and help serve the food.
00:12:27Donate clothing to charities and stuff.
00:12:29You can also help by recycling.
00:12:31You could even clean your sidewalk.
00:12:33Help.
00:12:34Nickelodeon wants to know how you're helping.
00:12:36You might be doing things that we've never even thought of.
00:12:38So write them down and send them to Nickelodeon.
00:12:41P.O. Box 2626.
00:12:43New York, New York.
00:12:4410108.
00:12:45And with your help, Nickelodeon will make a giant list
00:12:48so kids everywhere can find out new ways to make a difference.
00:12:51Kids can help in tons of different ways.
00:12:53You could ask the people not to give you, like, plastic spoons and forks.
00:12:58You can help the elderly people by lending an ear.
00:13:02You can help kids cross the street, or you can read a book to them
00:13:05if they like.
00:13:06You could help an animal by adopting it.
00:13:08Help.
00:13:09Stay green, be green, and care for you, too.
00:13:11Help.
00:13:15Somebody asked me once, he said,
00:13:16well, how do you do a news show for kids?
00:13:18And I said, well, sort of like you do it for grown-ups,
00:13:20only a whole lot better.
00:13:21Nick News W5.
00:13:22Kids are a lot tougher audience.
00:13:25You're watching...
00:13:26Nick!
00:13:27And now, back to Clarissa Explains It All.
00:13:31♪
00:13:35Knock, knock, knock, knock, knock.
00:13:42Excuse me.
00:13:44Um, Hugh?
00:13:57Mr. Hamilton?
00:13:58Give me the giants and six.
00:14:03You do know there are only three reasons why anyone's allowed in this office?
00:14:07So what is it? Did I win another award?
00:14:10No.
00:14:11Fire in the lobby?
00:14:12I don't think so.
00:14:14My ex-wife is in the building.
00:14:15No, uh, Hugh, Mr. Hamilton,
00:14:17I didn't know about your role.
00:14:18I actually, well...
00:14:21I had a few ideas for your column tomorrow.
00:14:23I know you weren't expecting this,
00:14:25but anyway, I just spent the past couple hours
00:14:27interviewing people about their lives.
00:14:28I didn't know exactly what I was looking for,
00:14:30but you know, once you start talking to people,
00:14:31really, everybody's a good story.
00:14:33Do I know you?
00:14:35I'm Clarissa.
00:14:37Your assistant.
00:14:38And you have ideas for my column?
00:14:40Ha, ha, ha, ha, ha.
00:14:41Want to hear something funny, Clarissa?
00:14:43You'll appreciate this.
00:14:46I've been writing this column, uh, let's see,
00:14:48five times a week for 22 years.
00:14:50What is that, five, six thousand columns,
00:14:52all by myself.
00:14:55This is the first time anyone's come to me with an idea.
00:14:57Isn't that incredible?
00:14:59In just a short time you've been working here.
00:15:01How long has it been?
00:15:02Three and a half hours.
00:15:03Basically the running time of an Oliver Stone movie.
00:15:07I should think that's plenty of time
00:15:08for you to think of things I haven't seen
00:15:10or done in 22 years.
00:15:12Well, if you don't want to hear them...
00:15:14Are you kidding?
00:15:15I'm tingling.
00:15:22Oh boy, props.
00:15:24Mr. Vernon.
00:15:26You sell hot dogs for Pushcart, 45th and Madison.
00:15:29Uh, yeah, that's me.
00:15:30Which you say are all beef, which they are not.
00:15:32However, you did manage to send two kids to college
00:15:35on those not-quite-beef dogs,
00:15:37which actually is an accomplishment.
00:15:39Of course, you tell 200 people a day about it,
00:15:41so it's hardly being exclusive.
00:15:43You have a point, Vernon.
00:15:44You know, Mr. Hamilton needs exclusives,
00:15:46but thanks for coming by.
00:15:51This is Lindy.
00:15:52Let me guess, an actress.
00:15:55And you gave yourself five years to make it,
00:15:57most of which was spent waitressing and dives,
00:15:59and time was running out.
00:16:01And then you got cast in a Broadway musical, didn't you?
00:16:04It's only an understudy role,
00:16:05but you're going on tonight for the first time, huh?
00:16:08You on Broadway!
00:16:09Nothing can stop you now!
00:16:13I hate stories like that.
00:16:18Good luck tonight.
00:16:20Okay, you're gonna love this one.
00:16:24Well, if it isn't my friend, Murray the Roast.
00:16:27You mean you already wrote about Murray?
00:16:29Yes, well, how could you know that?
00:16:30It's only one of my most famous stories,
00:16:32reprinted every year at Christmas.
00:16:34It was made into a TV movie and won its time slot.
00:16:37Thanks, Murray. I think we're done here.
00:16:43I'm sorry, I was just trying to help.
00:16:45I'm sorry, I was just trying to help.
00:16:47My own little teenage mother, Teresa,
00:16:50from Dinkwater, USA.
00:16:52What did I do to deserve you?
00:16:54Did I ask for your help? Huh?
00:16:56Did I give you any encouragement? Was I even nice?
00:16:59Well, no.
00:17:00So let's replay what I did say.
00:17:03Get lost.
00:17:10Could you tell me? What is it?
00:17:12You just don't want an assistant?
00:17:13Or was I too eager? Too enthusiastic?
00:17:15Because I'm not used to people
00:17:16taking an instant total dislike to me.
00:17:18Well, get used to it. You're in New York now.
00:17:22Well, since we're obviously
00:17:23not going to be working together,
00:17:24I just want to say goodbye.
00:17:26Goodbye.
00:17:30You know, when they told me
00:17:31I was going to be Hugh Hamilton's assistant,
00:17:33I thought I was the luckiest person.
00:17:35I figured anyone who wrote like you must be amazing.
00:17:37But you know what?
00:17:38It turns out you're not.
00:17:40It turns out you're rude and bitter and mean.
00:17:44And you're not anything like Alan Thicke.
00:17:52Hey, next time you go out,
00:17:54can you find me a story, too?
00:17:58Hugh Hamilton's assistant?
00:17:59Yes. No.
00:18:00Well, I was earlier today, but I don't know.
00:18:02I stopped listening after yes.
00:18:05Here's the hard copy for his column tomorrow.
00:18:10Did I hear right? Hugh actually wrote a column?
00:18:12Yeah, but where'd he find a story?
00:18:13He never left his office.
00:18:15Today is Clarissa's first day in New York City.
00:18:18I guess he didn't have to.
00:18:19Cut it out, Spencer. It's not about me.
00:18:23Oh, my God. It's about me.
00:18:24I can't read this.
00:18:25I can.
00:18:27It's easy to tell Clarissa hasn't been here long.
00:18:30Her New York is a big salty pretzel covered in mustard.
00:18:34It's a red ball that falls from the sky every night
00:18:37because every night for Clarissa is New Year's Eve.
00:18:40This is sickening.
00:18:42This is Clarissa's New York,
00:18:44and I have just one piece of advice for her.
00:18:46Move.
00:18:48New York is dead.
00:18:49Isn't that Marlo Thomas in the opening credits of That Girl?
00:18:52Who's Marlo Thomas?
00:18:56I'm guessing that's not a compliment.
00:18:58You saw Hugh's column?
00:19:00Yeah, it makes me sound like this naive freak of nature.
00:19:02No, he doesn't. Not really.
00:19:04Right here he says,
00:19:05Clarissa's a naive freak of nature.
00:19:08You're taking this too personally.
00:19:09No one's gonna know it's you.
00:19:11Where is my naive freak of nature?
00:19:15You're right. No one's gonna know it's about me.
00:19:17Great to see you, Mrs. Banyan.
00:19:18Or may I call you Lillian?
00:19:20No, you may not.
00:19:23Hamilton's column for tomorrow.
00:19:25I want it on page three with a banner,
00:19:27Hamilton's back.
00:19:28He's better than ever.
00:19:30And you.
00:19:32Here I thought he was a wasted, cranky, used-up old fartbag.
00:19:37But somehow you were able to ignite his fire.
00:19:41Well, look, I'm glad it all worked out,
00:19:43but maybe Mr. Hamilton's right.
00:19:45Maybe I really don't belong here.
00:19:46How can you say that? You're essential.
00:19:48No, I'm not.
00:19:50In fact, I don't really have anything to do here,
00:19:52or even anywhere to sit.
00:19:54Does this desk belong to anybody?
00:19:57Oh, well, actually...
00:19:58The correct answer is no.
00:19:59I'll move on.
00:20:00Yeah.
00:20:02Now you've got a place to sit,
00:20:04and there's always plenty to do,
00:20:05because this is a newspaper,
00:20:07and if you ever need anyone to chat with,
00:20:09you've got me.
00:20:11Am I too young to have an ulcer?
00:20:13Yes, but I'm not.
00:20:15Hamilton!
00:20:17Open up!
00:20:19Your ex-wife is here.
00:20:22She's with Carl Bernstein.
00:20:24No, Collins, please!
00:20:27There.
00:20:28I'm with that every time.
00:20:29Yes.
00:20:30I just thought you'd like to know you still have your job.
00:20:33You really should thank her.
00:20:35You really should take a shave,
00:20:36but I don't see you doing it.
00:20:39You just can't admit you want to keep your column,
00:20:42and the reason you get to is Clarissa.
00:21:03How about the column?
00:21:04Look, I don't want to hear
00:21:05how everyone you know is going to read it
00:21:06and blah, blah, blah.
00:21:07You can save your breath.
00:21:08I wrote it. It's immortal.
00:21:11Look, that's the way it works.
00:21:13You know, I call it the way I see it.
00:21:14Everything is grist for the mill.
00:21:16I won't change anything.
00:21:17I don't care what people say.
00:21:19If I did, I'd be dead.
00:21:22Okay, fine, I'll change one thing,
00:21:24but that's it.
00:21:25No, no, you don't have to.
00:21:26I know I don't have to.
00:21:28I'm offering.
00:21:30Can't have you looking at me with that
00:21:32you just cooked my pet turtle,
00:21:33but I forgive you expression.
00:21:36No, it's like you said.
00:21:37It's your column,
00:21:38and I hardly think
00:21:39some naive freak of nature
00:21:41should tell you what to write.
00:21:43Mr. Hamilton,
00:21:44I don't want to be your assistant
00:21:45if you don't want me to.
00:21:47So just tell me.
00:21:49If I say I don't want you
00:21:50to be my assistant, it's over.
00:21:52Right.
00:21:54And if I don't say it, what then?
00:21:56I guess you'd be my assistant.
00:21:59Right.
00:22:02Well?
00:22:03What? What? I didn't say it.
00:22:07Okay.
00:22:09Listen, I just want you to know
00:22:11I did interview a lot of people tonight,
00:22:13not just the ones I brought in,
00:22:14but I took notes.
00:22:15You're really pushing it, kid.
00:22:17You're right.
00:22:18Never mind.
00:22:20Okay, now look at him.
00:22:22Geez.
00:22:24I've had more guilt with you
00:22:25in two minutes than ten years.
00:22:28I've had more guilt with you
00:22:30in two minutes than ten years
00:22:31of cheating on my wife.
00:22:37So, see you tomorrow?
00:22:39Yeah, yeah, yeah.
00:22:45A guy in Queens can swallow a quarter
00:22:47and pass two dimes in a nickel.
00:22:59So, you're sticking around?
00:23:01Yeah.
00:23:03Sorry.
00:23:05You know, you look like a real pushover,
00:23:07but you're not.
00:23:09Thank you.
00:23:11You think?
00:23:13Maybe we can call it truce.
00:23:15If you could stop feeling so competitive,
00:23:16we could probably help each other.
00:23:18There you go again.
00:23:19You're still pushing
00:23:20the sweet, friendly routine, man.
00:23:21You're relentless.
00:23:24Unbelievable.
00:23:26Ha!
00:23:27Here I am thinking
00:23:28this day's a total wipeout,
00:23:30and what happens?
00:23:31I get my computer.
00:23:33Hey, over here. That's mine.
00:23:34You Clarissa Darling?
00:23:36Of course.
00:23:38Miss Banyan says I'm supposed
00:23:39to hook this up for Clarissa Darling.
00:23:41This is torture.
00:23:43You, Clarissa Darling?
00:23:45Yeah, you can just leave it here.
00:23:47I'm sorry, Miss Banyan.
00:23:49I'm sorry, Miss Banyan.
00:23:51Yeah, you can just leave it here.
00:23:55It's not fair.
00:23:56Everything works out for you.
00:23:58I work three times as hard
00:23:59as anybody else in this place.
00:24:00What do I end up with?
00:24:01Nothing.
00:24:04Take the computer, Spencer.
00:24:05You should have the computer.
00:24:07Okay.
00:24:12I suppose I should say thank you.
00:24:14It's just that I put in for the computer
00:24:15two months ago.
00:24:16I am a reporter,
00:24:17and you're an intern,
00:24:18and this is your first day, okay?
00:24:21Thank you.
00:24:23Really, it's nothing.
00:24:25Just remember,
00:24:26every time you look at it,
00:24:28you owe me.
00:24:37You know,
00:24:38I'd rather use this anyway.
00:24:39It makes me feel like
00:24:40I'm in one of those old
00:24:41Cary Grant movies.
00:24:44Hello, sweetheart?
00:24:45Get me a rewrite.
00:24:48This is so cool.
00:25:03Hey, Pete here
00:25:04with my brother, Pete,
00:25:05trying to figure out
00:25:06if it would be better
00:25:07to have a head the size
00:25:08of a fist or a watermelon.
00:25:10I'm leaning towards fist.
00:25:12More inconspicuous.
00:25:13Watermelon all the way.
00:25:15Now stay tuned
00:25:16for the adventures
00:25:17of Pete and Pete,
00:25:18next on Nick.
00:25:20At Universal Studios,
00:25:21Orlando, Florida.
00:25:26Get with the programs
00:25:31and stay with the programs.
00:25:33Keep snicking.
00:25:37Hi, this is Joey Lawrence,
00:25:38and this is true stories
00:25:39from famous people.
00:25:40Nickelodeon asked
00:25:41the star of Blossom
00:25:42about his first kiss.
00:25:44First kiss
00:25:45was a kiss on the cheek
00:25:46behind
00:25:48the supply store
00:25:50at our school.
00:25:51All my friends were
00:25:52in the front of the building,
00:25:53and we were in the back,
00:25:54and I went to kiss her
00:25:55on the lips,
00:25:56and she went like that,
00:25:57and I kissed her
00:25:58right on the cheek.
00:25:59Now that you know
00:26:00about Joey's first kiss,
00:26:01don't miss his first album
00:26:02entitled Joey Lawrence.
00:26:03And for more
00:26:04true stories
00:26:05from famous people,
00:26:06keep watching Nickelodeon.
00:26:07Nick's for you today.
00:26:09Tomorrow,
00:26:10the day after that,
00:26:11for Labor Day,
00:26:12Groundhog Day,
00:26:13on Washington's birthday,
00:26:14on your birthday,
00:26:15on Mother's Day,
00:26:16Father's Day,
00:26:17stay home from school sick day,
00:26:19on Thanksgiving Day,
00:26:21the first day of spring,
00:26:22on a snow day,
00:26:23on Memorial Day,
00:26:25stay home from school
00:26:26when you're not really sick day,
00:26:28on Valentine's Day,
00:26:30on a summer day,
00:26:31on Columbus Day,
00:26:32but not on April Fool's Day.
00:26:34Just kidding!
00:26:35Nick is every day.
00:26:37Now, Ace Ventura
00:26:39Pet Detectives on video.
00:26:41Taste it. Yummy!
00:26:42Smell it.
00:26:43Do not go in there!
00:26:45Woo!
00:26:46Buy it.
00:26:47Ace Ventura Pet Detective.
00:26:49Now for sale on video.
00:26:50Rated PG-13.
00:26:57The Super Soaker XP-75.
00:27:02Where XP means extra power.
00:27:04It shoots twice the water
00:27:06and reloads quicker
00:27:07than regular Super Soakers.
00:27:09This is the Super Soaker XP-75.
00:27:12One of the most powerful
00:27:13Super Soakers in the world.
00:27:15Do you feel lucky?
00:27:16Super Soaker XP,
00:27:17the next generation.
00:27:19Available in 75, 150, and 250 models.
00:27:23Next Saturday night,
00:27:24watch Midnight Kill Midnight,
00:27:26a marathon of terror
00:27:27where you'll get the chance
00:27:28to call and win one of 2,000
00:27:30Are You Afraid of the Dark?
00:27:31home video and audio cassette
00:27:32prize packages.
00:27:33Watch and win
00:27:34Midnight Kill Midnight,
00:27:36starting at 9.30, 8.30 Central.
00:27:39Textural triglycerides.
00:27:43Tired of the same old reading material?
00:27:46What's so gross
00:27:47about the national product?
00:27:49Isn't it time for a magazine
00:27:50that speaks your language?
00:27:52Now from the only network for kids.
00:27:54Nickelodeon Magazine!
00:27:57Just get a grown-up
00:27:58to call 1-800-832-5100 to order.
00:28:02And you can get inside
00:28:03a gym teacher's brain.
00:28:04Learn the most annoying car songs.
00:28:08Search through the world's
00:28:09messiest bedroom and much more.
00:28:11Can you really teach
00:28:12a spider to fetch?
00:28:14That's 1-800-832-5100
00:28:17for six colorful,
00:28:18side-splitting issues
00:28:19of Nickelodeon Magazine,
00:28:21each with a comic book inside.
00:28:25It's $9.97,
00:28:26and only grown-ups should call,
00:28:28so...
00:28:29So write it down
00:28:30and tell your parents.
00:28:32Don't delay.
00:28:33And get the magazine
00:28:34that's just for kids.
00:28:36Forget it, Dad.
00:28:39I've got some news
00:28:40for those guys
00:28:41who play 2-4.
00:28:42Try 5!
00:29:01When you play 5-4,
00:29:02you're really self-sufficient.
00:29:04Bright Plastic 10K.
00:29:06Really, really good stuff.
00:29:12I've been surfing
00:29:13for about a year now.
00:29:15You have to work really hard
00:29:16for about two hours
00:29:19to be a good surfer.
00:29:20You practice getting up
00:29:22on your board and balancing.
00:29:24When I first started,
00:29:25I could hardly stand up
00:29:26on my board.
00:29:27Now I stand up
00:29:28and do a lot of stuff.
00:29:29Like getting up on my board.
00:29:31Just the feeling of it.
00:29:33Feeling of getting up
00:29:34on your board.
00:29:36And I kept on going.
00:29:39From the schoolyards
00:29:40and playground,
00:29:41they came.
00:29:43The athletes of
00:29:44Nickelodeon guts.
00:29:51Tough.
00:29:52Yeah.
00:29:53Competitive.
00:29:54Sure.
00:29:55But when it's all over,
00:29:56they shake hands
00:29:57and say,
00:29:58Hi, Mom.
00:29:59Don't miss
00:30:00the athletes of guts
00:30:01when they go
00:30:02head-to-head
00:30:03on Nickelodeon guts.
00:30:04Every weekend
00:30:05at 635 Central
00:30:07on the First Kid Network.
00:30:09Nick Mania is
00:30:11Rugrat Mania.
00:30:12The ruggiest
00:30:13Rugrat episodes.
00:30:14It's Chucky, Angelica
00:30:15and Tommy Mania
00:30:16on Nick Mania.
00:30:18Tomorrow on Nick...
00:30:32This is my brother, Pete.
00:30:34And this is my dad.
00:30:36A guy who spends
00:30:37most of his free time
00:30:38wondering...
00:30:39Where, oh, where
00:30:40did I go wrong?
00:30:42Over the years,
00:30:43he's tried his best
00:30:44to turn Pete
00:30:45into a model son.
00:30:46See, you just go over
00:30:47the grain
00:30:48in a circular motion
00:30:49and soon...
00:30:51The plan has not
00:30:52been all that successful.
00:30:54Pete's just Pete.
00:30:56He can't be
00:30:57a model son.
00:30:59He can't be
00:31:00Pete's just Pete.
00:31:02He can't help it.
00:31:04Whether he's
00:31:05collecting burps,
00:31:07catching bugs,
00:31:09or staring into
00:31:10the electromagnetic vortex
00:31:12of a lunar eclipse.
00:31:14Yes.
00:31:16There's always been
00:31:17a certain
00:31:18Pete approach to life.
00:31:20Dance, senorita, dance.
00:31:22That dad has
00:31:23never appreciated.
00:31:25Even when
00:31:26Pete tries to please dad,
00:31:28like the time he put
00:31:29a high-gloss finish
00:31:30on the lawn
00:31:31for Father's Day,
00:31:32he just can't win.
00:31:34Inside!
00:31:36Pete knew they'd
00:31:37never be like
00:31:38other fathers and sons,
00:31:39building tree forts
00:31:40together and
00:31:41fishing for smelt.
00:31:43He didn't really
00:31:44want that anyway.
00:31:45All he wanted
00:31:46was for dad to
00:31:47accept him
00:31:48for the Pete he was.
00:31:50I didn't think
00:31:51he had a chance.
00:31:52I mean, you know
00:31:53how dads can be.
00:31:54Then, on one
00:31:55sunny Saturday morning,
00:31:57not too far from here,
00:31:59something happened
00:32:00that changed everything.
00:32:02If you wanted to,
00:32:04you could call it a miracle.
00:32:13Hey, Smiley Strange,
00:32:16you lookin'
00:32:17half-a-leafy range.
00:32:20I came to
00:32:21St. Lucie, babe,
00:32:23or have you
00:32:24picked your dog again?
00:32:26Kissin' me.
00:32:27Don't you talk back.
00:32:31Kissin' me.
00:32:49Kissin' me.
00:32:51Don't you talk back.
00:32:53Kissin' me.
00:32:57Kissin' me.
00:32:59Don't you talk back.
00:33:01Kissin' me.
00:33:06In the whole sloppy
00:33:07history of humankind,
00:33:09you'll find that the
00:33:10biggest moments are caused
00:33:11by the stupidest
00:33:12little things.
00:33:13A prime minister
00:33:14accidentally farts
00:33:15and whammo.
00:33:16It's the Korean War.
00:33:18In the case of
00:33:19Pete and Dad's
00:33:20miracle friendship,
00:33:21it all started
00:33:22with a blacktop grudge match
00:33:24between my dad's
00:33:2588 Dodge Aries
00:33:27and Mr. Hickel's
00:33:28fuel-injected
00:33:29Throttle Jet 5000.
00:33:31Vroom!
00:33:32Vroom!
00:33:34Suck my fumes,
00:33:35Nimrod!
00:33:37They used to be friends,
00:33:39but ever since
00:33:40the Bicentennial,
00:33:41when Mr. Hickel
00:33:42inadvertently melted
00:33:43our birdbath,
00:33:44the two of them
00:33:45started a feud
00:33:46that's been building
00:33:47ever since.
00:33:49The only problem is
00:33:51Mr. Hickel also
00:33:52happens to be the father
00:33:53of my all-time
00:33:54best friend,
00:33:55Ellen Hickel.
00:33:58Over the years,
00:33:59we've tried to ignore
00:34:00their feud,
00:34:01but when we heard
00:34:02it was all coming down
00:34:03to this one final race,
00:34:05well, we had to take sides.
00:34:07I pitched in
00:34:08by drawing a map
00:34:09of the course,
00:34:10while Ellen did her part
00:34:12by making this perfect
00:34:13Mr. Hickel action figure
00:34:15to ride in the car
00:34:16during the race.
00:34:17How do I look, honey?
00:34:19It was a true labor of love,
00:34:21and soon,
00:34:22they grew closer
00:34:23than any father,
00:34:24daughter,
00:34:25and action figure
00:34:26should be.
00:34:28Nice!
00:34:29As for Pete,
00:34:30he sculpted
00:34:31a stainless steel
00:34:32voodoo hood ornament,
00:34:34but as usual,
00:34:35his best wasn't good enough
00:34:36for Dad.
00:34:37Whose side are you on,
00:34:38anyway?
00:34:43I mean,
00:34:44not only will this thing
00:34:45weigh me down,
00:34:46it's completely
00:34:47un-aerodynamic.
00:34:48I mean,
00:34:49it could cost me the race.
00:34:51Huh?
00:34:52Despite the rejection,
00:34:53Pete wasn't about
00:34:54to give up yet.
00:34:55Not while he still had
00:34:56his own personal superhero,
00:34:58Artie,
00:34:59the strongest man
00:35:00in the world.
00:35:02Pete never did trust
00:35:03Phil Hickel,
00:35:04much less the
00:35:05Phil Hickel action figure,
00:35:06and he knew
00:35:07if he could dig up
00:35:08some dirt,
00:35:09he could prove himself
00:35:10to Dad once and for all.
00:35:13Sure enough,
00:35:14Mr. Hickel
00:35:15was up to no good,
00:35:17secretly souping up his car
00:35:19with an illegal
00:35:20overdrive button.
00:35:23He's bypassing
00:35:24the alkaline
00:35:25transducer grid
00:35:26with a turbostatic
00:35:28overdrive.
00:35:30What?
00:35:31Pete's cheating!
00:35:33Cheater!
00:35:34Cheater!
00:35:35Big fat cheater, man!
00:35:37Foul!
00:35:38I claim foul?
00:35:39I do agree with my claim.
00:35:41It was the break
00:35:42Pete had been waiting for.
00:35:44Cheaters never prosper.
00:35:47Mr. Hickel had left him
00:35:48with no other choice.
00:35:50With the big race
00:35:51just hours away,
00:35:53there was only
00:35:54one course of action left.
00:35:58Sabotage.
00:36:00The scene was set
00:36:01for a day of reckoning
00:36:02my dad had been waiting for
00:36:04for 16 years.
00:36:08Come on, Don.
00:36:09Where's your manners?
00:36:17Finally,
00:36:18the big race was on.
00:36:22Dad cranked his
00:36:23turbocharged V8 engine
00:36:24to maximum thrust
00:36:26and quickly roared
00:36:27to a commanding lead.
00:36:29Don't mess with
00:36:30the best driver,
00:36:31or you're going to
00:36:32be in trouble.
00:36:34Come on, baby.
00:36:35But as they turned
00:36:36the corner at
00:36:37West Platelet Avenue,
00:36:40Mr. Hickel hit the button
00:36:41on his secret weapon.
00:36:47And the throttle jet
00:36:48surged ahead.
00:36:51Look,
00:36:52he hit me with a stick!
00:36:54Then,
00:36:55just when dad seemed
00:36:56dusted,
00:36:57the results of
00:36:58Pete's sabotage
00:36:59were revealed.
00:37:03The results of
00:37:04Pete's sabotage
00:37:05became beautifully clear.
00:37:20Dad had won!
00:37:24Oh, my God!
00:37:25Yes! Yes!
00:37:26Yes!
00:37:27Woo!
00:37:28Oh, yeah!
00:37:29Oh, yeah!
00:37:30Oh!
00:37:31Where's Pete?
00:37:33Pete's me.
00:37:34Oh,
00:37:35figures he missed
00:37:36my big moment.
00:37:39Congratulations.
00:37:42That'll teach you
00:37:43to mess with my dad.
00:37:49At our victory
00:37:50dinner that night,
00:37:51dad learned the truth
00:37:52about what Pete had done.
00:37:54I'd never seen him
00:37:55prouder.
00:37:57Not only had he won
00:37:58the race,
00:37:59but his misfit son
00:38:00had saved the day.
00:38:04And there.
00:38:05You know what else
00:38:06my little commando
00:38:07did for me?
00:38:08What, dear?
00:38:09He gave me this.
00:38:10He he he he he.
00:38:12Well, I think you both
00:38:13should go over
00:38:14to the Hickles tomorrow
00:38:15and return that
00:38:16action man to Phil.
00:38:18Ellen made it for him.
00:38:19That's right.
00:38:20There's no reason
00:38:21for this to get out of hand.
00:38:23Let's all be adults
00:38:24about it and...
00:38:26Attention!
00:38:27Attention!
00:38:29We interrupt your dinner
00:38:30to bring you
00:38:31a special announcement.
00:38:32It's Phil!
00:38:34Talk about dirty tricks.
00:38:36Mr. Hickle
00:38:37knew our mom
00:38:38had a metal plate
00:38:39in her head
00:38:40from an accident
00:38:41she had when she was a kid.
00:38:42And by broadcasting
00:38:43at the right frequency,
00:38:44he could transmit
00:38:45radio messages
00:38:46using her plate
00:38:47like an antenna.
00:38:48And until I get
00:38:49the $695.65
00:38:52you owe me
00:38:53for destroying my car,
00:38:55these broadcasts
00:38:56will continue non-stop.
00:38:59And now for a selection
00:39:00from the Hawaiian Soldiers chorus.
00:39:09Of all the...
00:39:10You want a war, pal?
00:39:11You got it!
00:39:13Prepare to die, blowhole!
00:39:19The Adventures of Pete and Pete
00:39:20will be right back on SNICK.
00:39:24The ultimate Nickelodeon
00:39:25guts challenge.
00:39:26The Radical Rock,
00:39:27the Aggro Crag.
00:39:29Now bigger, meaner,
00:39:30and more mountainous
00:39:31than ever.
00:39:32Watch Nick put kids
00:39:33on the crag.
00:39:34Every weekday
00:39:35at 5.30, 4.30 Central,
00:39:36only on Nick.
00:39:40Get to class, son.
00:39:41School isn't a game.
00:39:43Dr. Oaksmith,
00:39:44you think this is a game?
00:39:46No way.
00:39:47But this is.
00:39:48Blockbuster Video
00:39:49gives you more action,
00:39:51more challenges,
00:39:54the newest and hottest
00:39:55video games you crave.
00:39:57Someday you'll realize,
00:39:58young man,
00:39:59life is a challenge,
00:40:01not a game.
00:40:03Well, now it's both
00:40:05at Blockbuster Video,
00:40:06where the challenge
00:40:07never ends.
00:40:09There are friendly ghosts
00:40:10and Halloween ghosts,
00:40:11but Nickelodeon has
00:40:12the only ghost for you,
00:40:14Beetlejuice.
00:40:15He's filthier
00:40:16than a speeding dirt bomb.
00:40:17I'm in the chair.
00:40:20More chilling
00:40:21than a load of ice cubes
00:40:22down your shirt
00:40:23and able to haunt
00:40:24your weekday afternoons
00:40:25with a single howl.
00:40:27It's Showtime.
00:40:28No, it's Nickelodeon
00:40:30with Beetlejuice.
00:40:31Real cool afterlife
00:40:32in the afternoon.
00:40:33Every weekday
00:40:34at 4.00, 3.00 Central.
00:40:36All right.
00:40:38Free advertising.
00:40:40All right, son,
00:40:41point out the animal
00:40:42that did this to you.
00:40:49The Beast is back.
00:40:50Now with 100 levels
00:40:51of pain.
00:40:52Donkey Kong.
00:40:53New for Game Boy.
00:40:56Who keeps Nickelodeon
00:40:57on the air,
00:40:58making sure the shows
00:40:59get from here to there?
00:41:00A superhero,
00:41:01no one greater.
00:41:02He's the local
00:41:03cable operator.
00:41:04The next signal
00:41:05is sent from
00:41:06kids' headquarters
00:41:07every day.
00:41:08Get it to them fast,
00:41:09he cries,
00:41:10without delay.
00:41:11The signal is sent
00:41:1222,000 miles into space,
00:41:13bounced off a satellite
00:41:14at a fantastic pace,
00:41:15caught by a giant fish
00:41:16at our hero's place,
00:41:17then sent by a cable
00:41:18right into your face.
00:41:19Your local cable operator.
00:41:21Come with me.
00:41:22Delivering Nickelodeon
00:41:23every day.
00:41:26Now, back to the adventures
00:41:27of Pete and Pete
00:41:28as they continue.
00:41:33After a lifetime
00:41:34of having nothing
00:41:35in common with Dad,
00:41:37Pete finally had a chance
00:41:38to share his all-time
00:41:39favorite hobby.
00:41:41Revenge!
00:41:42In just ten days,
00:41:44they'd built a command center
00:41:45NASA would have killed for.
00:41:48Surveillance monitors,
00:41:50radar screens,
00:41:52a satellite-based
00:41:53infrared camera,
00:41:54and more.
00:41:55That's Pete's idea.
00:41:56It automatically flushes
00:41:57a toilet in Hickle's house.
00:41:59He gets in the shower
00:42:00and boom!
00:42:01We boil his butt!
00:42:03I don't like it, Don.
00:42:05I don't like it one bit.
00:42:07I don't like it either, honey.
00:42:09But Hickle has left us
00:42:10with no other choice.
00:42:12Isn't that right, Shorty?
00:42:15Family,
00:42:16we are in
00:42:17a state of war.
00:42:19And as such,
00:42:20each member will be expected
00:42:21to sign a loyalty code
00:42:22that prohibits,
00:42:23among other things,
00:42:24fraternizing with the enemy.
00:42:28Dad, Ellen is my best friend.
00:42:30Was your best friend.
00:42:34I won't sign it.
00:42:35Son,
00:42:36I know it's hard,
00:42:37but think of your poor mother,
00:42:38forced to wear a helmet
00:42:39to muffle the constant
00:42:40pounding of polka music.
00:42:42It's not so bad.
00:42:45I don't know, Dad.
00:42:46The maniac is playing
00:42:47polka music, son.
00:42:49Sweaty men in leader hoses
00:42:50squeezing accordions.
00:42:52It's kind of catchy.
00:42:55And if we're going to stop him,
00:42:56we're going to have to do it
00:42:57my way.
00:42:59Our way.
00:43:00That's right.
00:43:01I'm sorry, son.
00:43:02Our way.
00:43:04Don't be a wuss.
00:43:17The ink wasn't even dry
00:43:18on my signature
00:43:20before Dad and Pete
00:43:21struck back with the
00:43:22ultimate secret weapon.
00:43:25Artie,
00:43:26the strongest man
00:43:28in the world.
00:43:31The plan was to use
00:43:32Artie's superhuman strength
00:43:34to move Mr. Hickel's house
00:43:35to Saskatchewan,
00:43:38but because of a slight
00:43:39back sprain he got from
00:43:40lifting a brassiere emporium
00:43:41the week before,
00:43:43Artie was only able
00:43:44to budget
00:43:45one inch.
00:43:47Even so,
00:43:49the prank worked beautifully.
00:43:56And with that one
00:43:57tiny little inch,
00:44:00the great prank war
00:44:02was officially underway.
00:44:10In the annals of
00:44:11modern history,
00:44:12you'd have to go back
00:44:13to the trench warfare
00:44:14of World War I
00:44:16to find a battle
00:44:17as fiercely fought
00:44:18as what became known as
00:44:20The Great Prank War.
00:44:24Nobody messes with Phil Hickel.
00:44:26Nobody!
00:44:27Nobody!
00:44:58Guitar solo!
00:45:04Ready!
00:45:06Aim!
00:45:07Fire!
00:45:16Take that, grunge bag!
00:45:19As Dad and Pete
00:45:20learned the meaning
00:45:21of togetherness,
00:45:22Ellen and I learned
00:45:23the meaning of being apart.
00:45:25I know it seems stupid
00:45:27but he is my dad
00:45:28and I did promise.
00:45:30Besides,
00:45:31our every move
00:45:32was being tracked by radar.
00:45:35Since we knew
00:45:36the payphones were tapped,
00:45:38we had to communicate
00:45:39by dropping off
00:45:40secret letters
00:45:41with crossing guard
00:45:42Kenneth G. Keegan,
00:45:44a man who had seen
00:45:45maybe
00:45:46one too many
00:45:47spy movies.
00:45:49Okay, okay,
00:45:50I've got it
00:45:51memorized.
00:45:53The plan had been
00:45:54for Ken to simply
00:45:55deliver the notes
00:45:57but he had his own ideas.
00:45:59It was a little difficult
00:46:00at first.
00:46:02Dear...
00:46:04Dear...
00:46:06Otto?
00:46:08Pete.
00:46:11But after a few days,
00:46:13he got the hang of it.
00:46:15Dear Pete,
00:46:18I couldn't stop.
00:46:20I couldn't stop.
00:46:23I couldn't
00:46:24stop.
00:46:27I couldn't stop
00:46:28thinking about you yesterday.
00:46:31Whoa.
00:46:33Hot stuff.
00:46:35We're just friends.
00:46:37Sure you are.
00:46:39Forget our family's
00:46:40self-destructing.
00:46:41I wanted the
00:46:42prank war to end
00:46:43so Ken would stop
00:46:44winking at me.
00:46:46Unfortunately,
00:46:47it showed no signs
00:46:48of cooling down.
00:46:49Fire!
00:46:55Ready.
00:46:57Aim.
00:46:59Fire!
00:47:02Better watch your
00:47:03cholesterol, Phil.
00:47:05My dad's a mess, Pete.
00:47:07A total mess.
00:47:09All he cares about
00:47:10is revenge.
00:47:11I don't know him anymore.
00:47:13I hate to say it
00:47:14but I think the only
00:47:15thing we ever had
00:47:16in common
00:47:17was that stupid
00:47:18action figure.
00:47:20I know he expects me
00:47:21to be a good,
00:47:22loyal daughter
00:47:23but too bad.
00:47:24This war
00:47:25has got to end.
00:47:27Ellen?
00:47:28Ellen, it's your daddy.
00:47:29I'd like to speak
00:47:30to you for a second.
00:47:31I don't know
00:47:32if it'll work
00:47:33but I've started
00:47:34giving him the
00:47:35silent treatment.
00:47:36Ellen?
00:47:37I know you're in there.
00:47:38I just can't
00:47:39take it anymore.
00:47:41I don't know
00:47:42if you miss me but...
00:47:43But I...
00:47:44I miss you.
00:47:45I really, really
00:47:46miss you, Pete.
00:47:52Thanks, Ken.
00:48:01I walked home
00:48:02faster than usual
00:48:03that day to do
00:48:04my stupid shift
00:48:05in the war room.
00:48:07I guess I was hoping
00:48:08I'd catch a glimpse
00:48:09of Ellen.
00:48:12Hi, honey.
00:48:13Off to your
00:48:14French horn lessons?
00:48:21Ellen, Josephine,
00:48:22Hickle.
00:48:24What have I done?
00:48:26When I saw her,
00:48:27I knew who
00:48:28I had to be loyal to
00:48:30and it wasn't
00:48:31Dad or Pete.
00:48:33I miss you too, Ellen.
00:48:39What was that?
00:48:41Nothing.
00:48:45Pete, I can't
00:48:46take this anymore.
00:48:47You've got to
00:48:48call it off.
00:48:49No can do, comrade.
00:48:51I know why
00:48:52you're doing this.
00:48:53It's Dad, isn't it?
00:48:55You're afraid that
00:48:56if the war ends,
00:48:57your friendship
00:48:58will end too.
00:48:59Shut up!
00:49:01I know how you
00:49:02feel, Pete,
00:49:03but this can't
00:49:04last forever.
00:49:05Things have to
00:49:06go back to normal.
00:49:07Why?
00:49:08You know why.
00:49:11You're not
00:49:12going to end up
00:49:13like this.
00:49:14If you're not
00:49:15going to end this,
00:49:16I will.
00:49:36Pete!
00:49:37Hi!
00:49:38Hey!
00:49:39Hi.
00:49:41Did you get a haircut?
00:49:42Yeah.
00:49:43Do you like it?
00:49:46Pete, what about
00:49:47the war?
00:49:48That's what I want
00:49:49to talk to you about.
00:49:50How's the silent
00:49:51treatment working?
00:49:52It's been hard,
00:49:53but I think it's
00:49:54finally getting to him.
00:49:55Dad!
00:49:57I know you're out there.
00:50:00Listen to me!
00:50:03This feud
00:50:04has gone far enough.
00:50:07I surrender.
00:50:11It's over, Don.
00:50:13You win.
00:50:15I'll tear up the bill.
00:50:16I'll turn off the music.
00:50:18I'll forget about everything.
00:50:20All I'm asking you to do is
00:50:22just give me back
00:50:23my action figure.
00:50:25I'm sending over
00:50:26the car right now.
00:50:27Just buckle him
00:50:28in the seat
00:50:29and I'll do the rest.
00:50:30I don't know what
00:50:31this war has done
00:50:32to your family,
00:50:33but between you and me,
00:50:35it's tearing mine apart.
00:50:37Please, Don.
00:50:38My daughter made
00:50:39that action figure for me.
00:50:41It means a lot to us.
00:50:44I need it back.
00:50:46I need her back.
00:50:49Please, Don.
00:50:56With the fate
00:50:57of the prank war
00:50:58entirely in his hands,
00:51:00Pete made a command decision.
00:51:02If Phil Hickel
00:51:03wanted his action figure
00:51:04back that much,
00:51:06he'd gladly give it to him,
00:51:07along with a little
00:51:08added surprise.
00:51:10As we were all about
00:51:11to find out,
00:51:12the war wasn't over
00:51:13until Pete said it was over.
00:51:16Heads up, Shorty.
00:51:18You're going home.
00:51:23Sergeant!
00:51:24We've got a condition
00:51:25around here!
00:51:26Man the battle stations!
00:51:28Switch to auxiliary
00:51:29life support!
00:51:34What's that flame hole
00:51:35up to?
00:51:36Dad was suspicious
00:51:37at first,
00:51:38but when Pete played back
00:51:39the surveillance tape...
00:51:41It's over, Don.
00:51:42You win.
00:51:43He knew
00:51:44they had won the war.
00:51:46We did it, son.
00:51:47We showed that clam dip
00:51:48you can't miss.
00:51:50We're the best.
00:51:52It'll be kind of hard
00:51:53to say goodbye
00:51:54to old Shorty here,
00:51:55but, you know,
00:51:56it means that much to him.
00:51:59Escape!
00:52:01Get a grip, Dad!
00:52:04Pete's fiendish scheme
00:52:06was going perfectly.
00:52:08Dad didn't suspect a thing.
00:52:11So long, Shorty.
00:52:12Drive safely.
00:52:15You know, funny,
00:52:16it was a lot heavier
00:52:17than I remember.
00:52:19Funny.
00:52:23Wait a second.
00:52:24Oh, my God, Pete!
00:52:26You haven't booby-trapped
00:52:27the action figure, have you?
00:52:29Son, the man surrendered.
00:52:32I mean, he's at our mercy.
00:52:35If we double-cross him now,
00:52:37this war could go on forever.
00:52:39Exactly.
00:52:41Are you nuts?
00:52:43We won.
00:52:44It's all over, son.
00:52:45We did it.
00:52:46You and me.
00:52:47Sorry, Dad.
00:52:48You'll thank me
00:52:49for this someday.
00:52:55Well, where did I go wrong?
00:52:57Dad!
00:52:59Listen to me.
00:53:00Pete's out of control.
00:53:01You've got to put an end
00:53:02to this before it's too late.
00:53:03You're absolutely right, son.
00:53:04I am?
00:53:06Now, come on, everybody.
00:53:07You too, mister.
00:53:08Let's go.
00:53:09We've got to stop that car.
00:53:12Suddenly,
00:53:13it was the big race
00:53:14all over again.
00:53:15Only this time,
00:53:16Dad had more in his mind
00:53:18than revenge.
00:53:29Stop in the name of love!
00:53:33Uh-oh!
00:53:36Hi, guys.
00:53:39Halfway to the hickles,
00:53:41on Sahara-like Avenue...
00:53:42Come back, you smart dog!
00:53:46...there was Mom,
00:53:47shattered from 14 straight days
00:53:50of sonic assaults.
00:53:57Mom!
00:54:01Don't worry, honey.
00:54:02It's almost over.
00:54:03Are we going to kill him?
00:54:04No, we're going to save him.
00:54:15You're almost home.
00:54:21Speed kills.
00:54:24No!
00:54:30Pulling a double-cross on Phil Hickel?
00:54:32Never!
00:54:35No!
00:54:38I can't go!
00:54:39It's booby-trapped!
00:54:47What the...?
00:54:54That's a lousy watch!
00:54:56Huh?
00:54:59Don, are you okay?
00:55:01Yeah.
00:55:02What's all this about a booby-trap?
00:55:04That's what I'd like to know, Phil.
00:55:06It had all been a trick,
00:55:07a fake-out to end all fake-outs.
00:55:10Pete knew the only way
00:55:11the feud would end for good
00:55:13was if Dad and Mr. Hickel
00:55:14came together
00:55:15and became friends again.
00:55:17Even though it might mean
00:55:18losing his own friendship with Dad,
00:55:20Pete had to end the war his way,
00:55:22the Pete way.
00:55:23Suddenly, Dad understood everything.
00:55:26Pete! Pete, wait!
00:55:27Pete! Pete, wait up, Pete!
00:55:32It was all a trick, wasn't it?
00:55:33To get me and Mr. Hickel friends again.
00:55:36Well, son, it worked.
00:55:39I mean, I gotta hand it to you.
00:55:40You did all right.
00:55:42Well, now we can get things
00:55:43back to normal around here.
00:55:45Well, you know, almost normal.
00:55:48You know what I mean.
00:55:53Looks like you might need
00:55:55some new eyebrows.
00:55:57And a new face.
00:56:03That's pretty much the whole story.
00:56:05Artie moved the house
00:56:06back to where it belonged.
00:56:08Ellen and I vowed
00:56:09to never let anyone
00:56:10keep us apart ever again.
00:56:12And Mom,
00:56:13she let Mr. Hickel know
00:56:15there were really no hard feelings.
00:56:23As for Pete and Dad,
00:56:25well, they might have lost
00:56:26the one thing they had in common
00:56:28now that the war was over,
00:56:30but in the end,
00:56:31at least they found each other.
00:56:52¶¶
00:57:07An object in motion
00:57:10tends to stay in motion.
00:57:13Snick continues.
00:57:17¶¶
00:57:24¶¶
00:57:26We're here right now.
00:57:29You can see all the mountains.
00:57:30Yeah, a whole bunch of mountains.
00:57:32I feel like we're way up in the sky.
00:57:34That's Kevin's favorite
00:57:35right over there.
00:57:36It feels great.
00:57:37This is Les,
00:57:38and his nickname is Hook.
00:57:40Captain Hook.
00:57:41All right!
00:57:42We named him that
00:57:43because he looks like Kevin.
00:57:46He makes us laugh.
00:57:48We get to go down the big run.
00:57:50Yeah, he's really cool.
00:57:52We're learning how to turn and stuff.
00:57:55You need us to leave?
00:57:56Okay.
00:57:57Okay.
00:57:58Bye!
00:57:59Bye!
00:58:01¶¶
00:58:04¶ We're the Kid Club Kids.
00:58:06¶ We just wanna have fun.
00:58:08¶ The Kid Club Kids
00:58:09¶ To us, being kids number one.
00:58:11¶ The Burger King Kids Club.
00:58:13¶ It's very cool to be a kid.
00:58:16¶ Burger King has fun treasures for you.
00:58:18¶ I'm sure I'll bury this treasure around here.
00:58:21¶ It's your favorite Disney characters
00:58:22¶ like Goofy, Darkwing Duck, and Bob
00:58:24¶ with some cool beach toys.
00:58:26¶ You can collect all five
00:58:27¶ one in every kids meal
00:58:28¶ only at Burger King.
00:58:29¶ Gosh, maybe I grabbed the wrong map.
00:58:31¶ The Burger King Kids Club.
00:58:33¶ It's a cool place.
00:58:34¶ Look, it's Jeff Armstrong.
00:58:36¶ He's eating Apple Jack.
00:58:37¶ He's cool.
00:58:38¶ We'll see.
00:58:39¶ Look out, it's Denise White.
00:58:40¶ Hi, Jeff.
00:58:41¶ Hi, Denise.
00:58:42¶ Call me stupid,
00:58:43¶ but if they named it Apple Jack,
00:58:44¶ shouldn't it taste like,
00:58:45¶ well, apple?
00:58:46¶ Stupid.
00:58:47¶ That isn't why it came so good.
00:58:49¶ Well, then, no at all.
00:58:50¶ Why?
00:58:51¶
00:58:55¶ They just do.
00:58:56¶ Yeah.
00:58:57¶ Kellogg's Apple Jack
00:58:58¶ is part of this complete breakfast.
00:59:00¶ I don't know what she's eating.
00:59:01¶ We eat what we like.
00:59:03¶
00:59:05¶ Nickelodeon's planning to make a new show.
00:59:07¶ But we won't be able to.
00:59:08¶ Without you.
00:59:09¶ Because you are gonna write it.
00:59:11¶ You are gonna draw it.
00:59:12¶ You are gonna make U2U.
00:59:15¶ So get this address.
00:59:16¶ U2U, care of Nickelodeon Studios.
00:59:18¶ P.O. Box 692229, Orlando, Florida 32869.
00:59:23¶ Include your name, age, address, and phone number.
00:59:25¶ Write your own stories and send them to U2U.
00:59:28¶ And we'll turn them into cartoons.
00:59:30¶ Draw your own pictures or new characters.
00:59:32¶ And we'll put them into comic strips.
00:59:34¶ Write your own songs.
00:59:35¶ And we'll make them into music videos.
00:59:38¶ Send us your jokes, drawings, poems,
00:59:40¶ questions for your favorite celebrities,
00:59:42¶ blueprints for a new rocket ship,
00:59:43¶ ideas for new video games.
00:59:45¶ Offer us.
00:59:46¶ If you think we can use it, send it.
00:59:48¶ And don't be surprised if what you see is what you send.
00:59:51¶ Of course we can't use everything,
00:59:52¶ and we're sorry we can't return anything you send us.
00:59:55¶ Ask your parents' permission first,
00:59:56¶ then send your stuff to U2U.
00:59:58¶ The only show connecting you to every you out there.
01:00:01¶ On the only network for you, Nickelodeon.
01:00:04What's up on Nick in the Afternoon?
01:00:07Something really big!
01:00:09Well, kind of.
01:00:11You might want to stay tuned for details.
01:00:30¶ Round and round and round and round
01:00:33¶ Round and round and round and round
01:00:36¶ Round and round and round and round
01:00:39¶ Round and round and round and round
01:00:42¶ To the round and round
01:00:45¶ We'll have a celebration
01:00:47¶ To the round and round
01:00:49¶ Where I can be myself
01:00:51¶ Whenever my life gets me going down
01:00:54¶ I know I can go on down
01:00:56¶ To where the music and the fun never ends
01:01:00¶ As long as the music keeps playing
01:01:02¶ You know what I'm saying
01:01:05¶ I know that I can find a friend
01:01:08¶ Round and round and round and round
01:01:11¶ Don't need anything dangerous
01:01:13¶ Round and round and round and round
01:01:16¶ It's not like anywhere else
01:01:18¶ Round and round and round and round
01:01:20¶ We'll have a celebration
01:01:22¶ To the round and round
01:01:24¶ Where I can be myself
01:01:26¶ Round and round and round and round
01:01:29¶ To where the music and the fun never ends
01:01:32¶ You know we can go anywhere
01:01:35¶ Anywhere
01:01:39¶ We can go anywhere
01:01:42¶ To the round
01:01:46¶¶
01:01:51¶¶
01:01:54Most people are torn between the need to be with others
01:01:57and the desire to be left alone,
01:01:59but being alone can get kind of lonely.
01:02:01I'm not in the mood.
01:02:02Suit yourself.
01:02:03Of course, you can always have an imaginary friend.
01:02:06So, you want to have a catch?
01:02:10Then again, actual humans make better friends.
01:02:13So, you want to have a catch?
01:02:14Sure!
01:02:17Then again, they do have their limitations.
01:02:19A good friendship can last longer than a bad marriage.
01:02:22Do you, Jimmy, promise to wedgie, noogie, and generally pick on Billy?
01:02:25And when you play Monopoly, will you let him be the race car,
01:02:27even if that means you get stuck with being a thimble?
01:02:29And do you, Billy, promise to insult and embarrass Jimmy
01:02:31and pick him in kickball even though he's a total goober?
01:02:34We do!
01:02:35I now pronounce you best friends.
01:02:37You may now kick each other's butts.
01:02:45This is just a reminder.
01:02:47There'll be no further marriage analogies.
01:02:49Class is now in session.
01:02:51No way!
01:02:53I'm only telling you this secret because you're my best friend.
01:02:56If anybody found out, I would fully die.
01:02:58Laura, Julie, I thought I told you no cellular phones in class.
01:03:01Mom, I wish there was some way I could stay on the phone all the time.
01:03:05Introducing Headphone.
01:03:07The telephone that's surgically implanted in your head.
01:03:10Now you can make a phone call anytime, anywhere.
01:03:15Hey, are your ears ringing?
01:03:17Well, I guess they are.
01:03:19Hello?
01:03:20Nancy, what's up?
01:03:21Can I talk to Nancy?
01:03:23Sure, let me put her on speaker mode.
01:03:25Hello?
01:03:26Hello?
01:03:27Can you guys hear me?
01:03:29Wow, what clarity!
01:03:31The speakers are wired to my uvula.
01:03:33No way.
01:03:34Now when you all should receive the surgically implanted fax machine.
01:03:39Hey, who cut the fax?
01:03:42Girls, this is your last warning.
01:03:44But we're right in the middle of a very important rumor.
01:03:47You should be in the middle of working on your joint book report on Lewis and Clark.
01:03:50It's due on Monday.
01:03:54Here come Mandy and Jennifer.
01:03:56Hey, they're the ultimate in best friends.
01:03:58We're going to softball trials.
01:03:59We're going to play shortstop.
01:04:02Wow, what good friends.
01:04:04Kind of like you guys.
01:04:05Hey Laura, Julie told me about your big secret.
01:04:07Unbelievable!
01:04:09Julie, I can't believe you told!
01:04:12Oh my gosh, Julie just hurt my feelings.
01:04:14I could talk to her about it and see if there was some misunderstanding.
01:04:17After all, she is my best friend.
01:04:19So naturally, I'll do the best I can to hurt her back.
01:04:22So you decided to stab your best friend in the back.
01:04:25Well, you need a burst of energy.
01:04:26You need Betrayal Mix.
01:04:28The new snack food, especially for those with an appetite for getting even.
01:04:33Ew, tastes bitter.
01:04:35Well, of course it does.
01:04:36But bitterness is only part of what you get.
01:04:38Betrayal Mix has nuts.
01:04:39Because you'd have to be to want to turn on your best friend.
01:04:41Raisins are raising the walls between you.
01:04:44And those little indescribable lumps that look like your dog left them in the backyard.
01:04:48Let's face it, if you're going to stew to it, you might as well eat it.
01:04:51You can get Betrayal Mix at your nearest Spyco store for the traditional 30 pieces of silver.
01:04:56I can't believe you told my secret.
01:04:58I would never tell anybody you put socks in your bra.
01:05:05And that's not all.
01:05:06Your butt is so big, each cheek has its own zip code.
01:05:10That's big. You better get in bed.
01:05:12You gonna let her talk that way about your big old buffalo butt?
01:05:15No, of course not.
01:05:17Laura, you're so ugly.
01:05:21Wait, I gotta write on the tip of my...
01:05:23Tongue?
01:05:24Yeah, that's right.
01:05:25Just can't get those insults to come out right?
01:05:27Well, put a cutting edge on those butt downs with a new tongue sharpener from Yo Mama Co.
01:05:32Tongue sharpener will give your words the cutting power they need for pointed remarks, unkind jabs, and piercing insults.
01:05:38Ooh, but be careful. You could put someone's eye out with that thing.
01:05:42Where were we?
01:05:43She was talking about your tired, ground scraping, saggy booty.
01:05:46That's right.
01:05:47You're so hairy, that on your school ID, they put your A's down in dog years.
01:05:54Hairy.
01:05:55And you're so ugly, that when you go to the zoo, the animals throw peanuts at you.
01:06:01That's ugly.
01:06:03And in fact, you are so ugly.
01:06:05How ugly is she?
01:06:07That you have to keep your makeup in a snake bite kit.
01:06:10That's very ugly.
01:06:12I can't believe you said those things to me.
01:06:14Our friendship is over.
01:06:16But I can explain.
01:06:18Don't bother. There's a wall between us.
01:06:21Does this mean you guys aren't doing your book report together?
01:06:24This is verging on tragic. I gotta find a new best friend fast.
01:06:28I'll start from the top. The most popular girl in school.
01:06:31Do you have an appointment?
01:06:32I'm here to see the most popular girl in school.
01:06:34And you are?
01:06:35Laura.
01:06:36Yes, I'm sure you're very important.
01:06:37Look, take a number, and the popular girl will be with you in a moment.
01:06:43Why are you tearing up that calendar?
01:06:44I'm cleverly illustrating the passage of time.
01:06:47Number 2085.
01:06:49Popular girl will see you now.
01:06:52Hi, whoever you are. Take a seat.
01:06:55You are my best friend for the next 15 seconds.
01:06:58Don't you hate all my former and future best friends right now?
01:07:01I do. Excuse me.
01:07:02But there are 17 girls named Heather waiting out there to see you.
01:07:06I feel so close to you.
01:07:08Can you check her out now?
01:07:09Yeah.
01:07:10Bye. Let's do sack lunch sometime.
01:07:12And don't forget to reserve a space for my slumber party.
01:07:15This is just a reminder. School is over.
01:07:18Now clear the halls before I release the dogs.
01:07:21By the way, hope everyone's heard about Laura's big secret.
01:07:24Great! Now the whole school knows.
01:07:27Gotta go home.
01:08:11Roundhouse and the Big Orange Couch will snick again after this.
01:08:21Why is Nickelodeon the only network for...
01:08:26There's no need to fear. Underdog is here.
01:08:30Why is Nickelodeon the only network for...
01:08:38Why is Nickelodeon the only network for...
01:08:42Why? This is the only place we want to be.
01:08:48A Nickelodeon. The only network for you.
01:08:52Who's the little baby with the bottle in her mouth?
01:08:57My baby Burpee.
01:08:59Whose tummy's filling up with every little gulp?
01:09:03My baby Burpee.
01:09:05You love to feed her then come on and pat her.
01:09:08It really makes you feel so much better.
01:09:12Who's the little baby that makes the cutest sound?
01:09:17My baby Burpee.
01:09:19Say excuse me baby Burpee.
01:09:24Ring around the nosy is a trunkload of fun.
01:09:27You'll look just like an elephant but not weigh a ton.
01:09:30Let's ring around the nosy and here's how it goes.
01:09:33Scoop out three rings using only your nose.
01:09:36Ring around the nosy.
01:09:38You have to match the colors, that's how it's done.
01:09:41Get three rings on your nosy and oh my gosh you've won.
01:09:44I win.
01:09:46Are you sure we're not related?
01:09:48Ring around the nosy.
01:09:53We now return to Roundhouse and Snick only on...
01:10:02Reaching out into other worlds.
01:10:05Hi-ya.
01:10:07Hi-ya.
01:10:09Hi-ya.
01:10:11Hi-ya.
01:10:13Hi-ya.
01:10:15Hi-ya.
01:10:17Hi-ya.
01:10:19Hi-ya.
01:10:21Hi-ya.
01:10:23Hi-ya.
01:10:25Hi-ya.
01:10:27Hi-ya.
01:10:29Hi-ya.
01:10:31Hi-ya.
01:10:35Hi-ya.
01:10:37Hi-ya.
01:10:39Hi-ya.
01:10:41Hi-ya.
01:10:43Hi-ya.
01:10:45Hi-ya.
01:10:47Hi-ya.
01:10:49Hi-ya.
01:10:51Hi-ya.
01:10:53Hi-ya.
01:10:55Hi-ya.
01:10:57Hi-ya.
01:10:59Hi-ya.
01:11:01Hi-ya.
01:11:03Hi-ya.
01:11:05Hi-ya.
01:11:07Hi-ya.
01:11:09Hi-ya.
01:11:11Hi-ya.
01:11:13Hi-ya.
01:11:15Hi-ya.
01:11:17Hi-ya.
01:11:19Hi-ya.
01:11:21Hi-ya.
01:11:23Hi-ya.
01:11:25Hi-ya.
01:11:27Hi-ya.
01:11:29Hi-ya.
01:11:31Hi-ya.
01:11:33Hi-ya.
01:11:35Hi-ya.
01:11:37Hi-ya.
01:11:39Hi-ya.
01:11:41Hi-ya.
01:11:43Hi-ya.
01:11:45Hi-ya.
01:11:47Hi-ya.
01:11:49Hi-ya.
01:11:51Hi-ya.
01:11:53Hi-ya.
01:11:55Hi-ya.
01:11:57Hi-ya.
01:11:59Hi-ya.
01:12:01Hi-ya.
01:12:03Hi-ya.
01:12:05Hi-ya.
01:12:07Hi-ya.
01:12:09Hi-ya.
01:12:11Hi-ya.
01:12:13Hi-ya.
01:12:15Hi-ya.
01:12:17Hi-ya.
01:12:19Hi-ya.
01:12:21Hi-ya.
01:12:23Hi-ya.
01:12:25Hi-ya.
01:12:27Hi-ya.
01:12:29Hi-ya.
01:12:31Hi-ya.
01:12:33Hi-ya.
01:12:35Tastes bad! More filling!
01:12:39Dang, Roseanne, you sure look good in that bikini.
01:12:44And the Nobel Prize for Physics goes to...
01:12:48Barney!
01:12:50I'll take pump John Paul II to block!
01:12:53Boy, I'd love to keep watching this biting satire of television,
01:12:57but I've got a slumber party sketch.
01:13:00Welcome to MTV's Slumber Party with your host, Goose!
01:13:04First of all, I'd like to applaud all my lucky best friends for being at my slumber party.
01:13:08How nice for you.
01:13:10Let's begin by congratulating Mandy and Jennifer on their operation that's brought them even closer!
01:13:15We're finally joined at the hip, and please call us...
01:13:19Mandifer!
01:13:24Come on in!
01:13:25Whichever best friend you are.
01:13:26I'd love to, but with this stupid wall I can't fit through the door!
01:13:32Besides, my ex-best friend is here.
01:13:34Great! I've been morally annihilated, and now I have to participate in slumber party activities!
01:13:40In the tradition of Rocky and Kickboxer comes pillow fight!
01:13:43Let's get ready to rumble!
01:13:52I can't see! I can't see! Am I cut?
01:13:54No, you're wearing too much mascara.
01:13:56Try this blush as a compliment color.
01:13:58I'll take a swig of diet soda.
01:14:02Make sure she's pinned between the dresser and the nightstand,
01:14:04and follow every body shot with a short jab and a wet frost!
01:14:07If that doesn't work, pull her hair!
01:14:10Pillow fight! Coming soon to a slumber party near you!
01:14:14Okay, best friends.
01:14:15It's bedtime, and your chance to admire my jewel-encrusted sleeping bag.
01:14:19Wow!
01:14:20But wait until you get a load of my Luke Perry sideburn-shaped sleeping bag!
01:14:25Well, I've got this rugged, waterproof...
01:14:29Trash bag! Come on!
01:14:31Well, it's multi-purpose!
01:14:34How embarrassing!
01:14:35Julie usually lends me her sleeping bag.
01:14:38And even worse, I'm talking to a camera.
01:14:41Okay, it's time to freeze somebody's panties.
01:14:45I kinda need to go.
01:14:46But you promised to spend the night.
01:14:48I know, it's just that, uh...
01:14:51I'm sick.
01:14:52You don't look sick.
01:14:53Well, now you can.
01:14:54With Pepto-Dismal.
01:14:56Pepto-Dismal simulates the effects of dozens of contagious childhood illnesses,
01:15:00including chickenpox, mumps, and...
01:15:02Distended Bowel Syndrome.
01:15:08Laura, what's the matter?
01:15:10I think I've got measles, or scurvy, or...
01:15:13Maybe I'm just gonna spew nausea!
01:15:15You should be resting at home now!
01:15:17Pepto-Dismal. Brought to you by Federal Distress.
01:15:20For when you absolutely, positively can't be there overnight.
01:15:26Hey! You okay?
01:15:29I'm fine, Dad. Thanks for caring.
01:15:32Well, I don't, really. I just wanted you to repave the driveway.
01:15:35Hey, and why don't you get your best friend with the wall to give you a hand?
01:15:38Besides, I thought you two were working on that book report together.
01:15:43I miss having Julie to talk to!
01:15:45Maybe I should try to make up with her.
01:15:52Hello, and welcome to Sally Jesse Raphael.
01:15:54I'm Sally.
01:15:55I'm Jesse.
01:15:56I'm Raphael.
01:15:58Our topic for today is best friends. Assets or pain in the ass-ets.
01:16:03Yo, my bro, that's the topic of the show.
01:16:05Si.
01:16:06Here with us are Laura and Julie, who were besties forever
01:16:09until a tragic argument ended their dreams.
01:16:11Well, audience, how does this make us feel?
01:16:14Woo woo!
01:16:15That barking stuff has got to go. You must have got tickets to the wrong show.
01:16:19Si.
01:16:20Hello, is the caller there?
01:16:22Hello, I'd like a small pizza and a side order of twisty bread. Hello?
01:16:26Uh, never mind the call.
01:16:28Laura, Julie, um, you've been fighting,
01:16:30but you both told me before the show that you would like to make up.
01:16:33That's right.
01:16:34Laura, you're willing to make up with Julie
01:16:36even though she had no regard for your feelings
01:16:38and blabbed your most personal secret to the entire school?
01:16:41Oh, I'm over that.
01:16:43And she also gave your phone number to every guy in the audiovisual club.
01:16:46I didn't know that!
01:16:48And Julie, you're willing to make up with Laura
01:16:50because she put a centipede in your gym sock.
01:16:53That was you?
01:16:54Face it, you two hate each other.
01:16:56But you're willing to forgive and forget. Why?
01:16:58Because you'd do anything to be on television.
01:17:02And we'll be right back after this message.
01:17:08Hi, I'm Shannon Doherty.
01:17:10If you've blown hot air like I have,
01:17:12you know nothing is more aromatic than bitterness and spite.
01:17:15That's why I endorse revenge.
01:17:18Perfume! What could be better than the sweet smell of revenge?
01:17:22Just ask my underling, Luke Perry.
01:17:24I hope they send you to college in Iraq, you psycho.
01:17:29I forgot to mention revenge is hands-on applicator, Luke.
01:17:32Just think of it as a restraining odor.
01:17:34Okay, just don't get engaged to me and then try and shoot me, alright?
01:17:39So, if you're holding a grudge, do what I do.
01:17:42And don't get mad.
01:17:44Get revenge!
01:17:46Oh, the swell of it!
01:17:52Okay, friends, now isn't it time to break down that wall between you?
01:17:56I think the audience would like to see a hug.
01:18:01The audiovisual club?
01:18:03A centipede?
01:18:05This is war!
01:18:12This is war!
01:18:13But until the bitter end, when you're fighting your best friend, that girl is black.
01:18:17Like the knife that's in your back, it's easier to stab.
01:18:20Like the secret that was black.
01:18:23It's gonna be a brutal battle, as one thinks, the others battle.
01:18:26And until they try to score, there is no peace.
01:18:28It's only war!
01:18:31This is war!
01:18:34This is war!
01:18:37Get in there!
01:18:38Come on!
01:18:39Get in there!
01:18:41Yeah!
01:18:42Let's get together!
01:19:10Come on!
01:19:11Let's go!
01:19:14Let's go!
01:19:20Let's go!
01:19:23Let's go!
01:19:27Laura honey we know that you are down all right because you broke up with your
01:19:43best friend nobody seems to like you anymore oh you couldn't fit in at all at
01:19:48that popular girl slumber party get to the point well what we're trying to say
01:19:54is you can always just think of your dad and me as your best friends huh hey
01:20:00what's that it's my thought bubble I can imagine what being friends with you is
01:20:04like stop that giggling back there don't make me separate you and your parents
01:20:14dad's got cooties pass it on hey hey what do you say tomorrow we all wear
01:20:18matching slacks yeah and we can go to the dance together oh yeah now you're
01:20:22talking
01:20:26sorry to burst your bubble honey that's okay I wasn't enjoying that thought one
01:20:31bit well never mind we've got a family dinner to go to he was a 15 year old
01:20:35high school freshman she was a toddler barely out of diapers but every
01:20:40Thanksgiving they had one thing in common they had to sit at the kiddie
01:20:45table Susie would you like me to cut your meat yeah and Tony would you like
01:20:54me to cut good now I'm quite proficient in using my own cutlery thank you well
01:21:00then I'll just leave you two to your fun the kiddie table coming soon to a family
01:21:05dinner near you
01:21:10relationships can be strange I don't know if I'll ever find a perfect match
01:21:14like Julie again Laura you need help John what are you doing on my TV well
01:21:22we're the psychic friends hotline we knew you needed us what do you see in my
01:21:27future well I see your best friend she's very unhappy she's standing behind a
01:21:31cardboard wall what else do you see I see Latoya Jackson needs a day job and I
01:21:37see a girl with a very unusual hairstyle
01:21:46we can get now we're one person Wow Dijon how can you say all this they're
01:21:54standing right here child can we go back to talking about Julie why don't you
01:21:58talk to her yourself that's what friends are for and remember keep smiling keep
01:22:03shining knowing you this is just a reminder Laura and Julie will now do the
01:22:18report on Lewis and Clark co-founders of the West but first they've gotta make up
01:22:24our report was supposed to be about a great team but I only know about Lewis
01:22:29and I only know about Clark maybe if some people knew better than to go
01:22:33against their word we could do this together just give me a chance can't we
01:22:38talk about it no can we sing about it
01:22:42Oh
01:22:51it seems so cloudy today
01:22:56and they both ended up with nothing
01:23:02no nothing
01:23:05to say
01:23:11it seems
01:23:16their eyes reach for the sky
01:23:20and the clouds
01:23:22turn their backs on them
01:23:25and face the other way
01:23:30all today
01:23:33all day
01:23:36and as they stood below the bridge where pigeons flew
01:23:41and people knew that they
01:23:45were waiting for the monster to come over
01:23:50they saw that it was coming
01:23:53and they think that it was real
01:23:56oh no
01:23:59they didn't care
01:24:03when the rain comes today
01:24:08some people stand below the bridge and never
01:24:14no never
01:24:17escape
01:24:23it seems so cloudy today
01:24:28and they both ended up
01:24:31with nothing
01:24:34no nothing
01:24:37to say
01:24:52I'm sorry I didn't think you'd be so upset about me telling your secret
01:24:57but I thought you'd want everybody to know you made the softball team
01:25:00what?
01:25:01I thought you told them I have a crush on Joey Jimenez
01:25:05who is sitting right there
01:25:07oh no
01:25:08somebody reprise the theme song and roll the credits
01:25:11whenever my life gets me so down
01:25:14I know I can go down
01:25:16to where the music ends up I never end
01:25:19as long as the music keeps playing
01:25:22you know what I'm saying
01:25:24I know that I can find a friend
01:25:29that ain't the roundhouse
01:25:44get ready now friends for
01:25:46Action Log, Nose Goblins, and Wren's Repulsive Baby Pictures
01:25:50oh my gosh
01:25:51Friendship, it's a new low
01:25:53on the Ren and Stimpy show next
01:25:55Roundhouse is taped before a live studio audience
01:25:58at CVS Studio Center
01:26:00Hollywood, New York
01:26:02and New York City
01:26:04at 8 p.m. ET
01:26:06on CBS
01:26:07on CBS
01:26:08on CBS
01:26:09on CBS
01:26:10on CBS
01:26:11on CBS
01:26:12on CBS
01:26:13on CBS
01:26:14on CBS
01:26:15on CBS
01:26:16on CBS
01:26:17on CBS
01:26:18on CBS
01:26:19on CBS
01:26:20on CBS
01:26:21on CBS
01:26:22on CBS
01:26:23on CBS
01:26:24on Computerworld
01:26:25Hollywood, California
01:26:27riding a horse could be great
01:26:30but sitting on the Big Orange Couch
01:26:32is the only way to sneak
01:26:35easier on your rear, too
01:26:37some stories can only be told at night
01:26:39and the midnight society is telling them
01:26:42Watch Are You Afraid of the Dark?
01:26:44tonight at 9.38 3rd Central
01:26:46only on Sneak
01:26:48where is Joey?
01:26:50Get it, Joey!
01:26:52Get it, Joey!
01:26:54Get it, Joey!
01:26:56Get it, Joey!
01:26:58Get it, Joey!
01:27:00Get it, Joey!
01:27:02Get it, Joey!
01:27:04Get it, Joey!
01:27:06Get it, Joey!
01:27:08Get it, Joey!
01:27:10Get it, Joey!
01:27:12Get it, Joey!
01:27:14Get it, Joey!
01:27:16Get it, Joey!
01:27:18Is Nickelodeon the only network for...
01:27:22There's no need to fear.
01:27:24Underdog is here.
01:27:26Why is Nickelodeon the only network for...
01:27:34Why is Nickelodeon the only network for...
01:27:40Why?
01:27:42This is the only place we want to be.
01:27:44A Nickelodeon. The only network for you.
01:27:46Do you want to make more money?
01:27:48Then call this free number to find out how easy it is
01:27:50to train at home for a better career.
01:27:52At ICS, you can prepare for an exciting career at home
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01:28:06right now for free information
01:28:08on the course of your choice.
01:28:10There's absolutely no obligation.
01:28:12So call now, 1-800-424-0700.
01:28:14It's more amazing than Reptile Boy found in Swamp.
01:28:16More incredible than Bigfoot Mary's Hollywood star.
01:28:18It's Super Mario All-Stars is free.
01:28:20I want to know how.
01:28:22Buy the Super NES Super Set,
01:28:24and for $3.50 postage and handling,
01:28:26you can send for a free Mario All-Stars game.
01:28:28I did it. Now look at me.
01:28:30Four Marios in one,
01:28:32delivered straight to your house by Alien Postman.
01:28:34You'll play every Mario Bros. made.
01:28:36Retouched photos prove it's true.
01:28:38Pick up your Super Set today,
01:28:40and Super Mario All-Stars is free.
01:28:42Super Mario All-Stars is free.
01:28:44You'll love it.
01:28:48That's my dad.
01:28:50And that's mom.
01:28:52Dad's got an idea.
01:28:54A way to get rid of all the grody garbage
01:28:56that's polluting the world.
01:28:58He's invented a big rocket ship
01:29:00to shoot all the garbage
01:29:02into outer space.
01:29:04Mom's not sure, but dad says
01:29:06his invention will save the world.
01:29:08There's an easier way to save the world.
01:29:10Recycle. For your free recycling
01:29:12action guide, write Recycle.
01:29:14Environmental Defense Fund,
01:29:16257 Park Avenue South, New York, New York.
01:29:20Whoa!
01:29:22How do they cram all that graham
01:29:24into golden graham?
01:29:26Maybe they take this big graham cracker...
01:29:30Wrong.
01:29:32How do they get all that crunchy graham cracker
01:29:34taste into every honey-sweet square?
01:29:36Or maybe they...
01:29:41Part of this complete breakfast,
01:29:43golden grahams crammed with graham.
01:29:46But how?
01:29:48Who's responsible for this?
01:29:50Nick's gonna tell who makes
01:29:52Ren and Stimpy. Meet Bob.
01:29:54I'm the creative director. And Jim.
01:29:56I'm the producer.
01:29:58A producer is the guy that tells the artist what to do,
01:30:00and then, when the cartoon's done,
01:30:02it takes all the credit.
01:30:04When I was a kid, I was really silly.
01:30:06Bob is about 80% Stimpy
01:30:08and about 20% Ren.
01:30:10We're all crazy.
01:30:12That's a big secret.
01:30:14Now you know who's responsible for Ren and Stimpy.
01:30:16Don't tell anybody, okay?
01:30:18On the only network for you.
01:30:20Tremble.
01:30:22Tackle.
01:30:24Quiver.
01:30:26Freak.
01:30:28Cringe.
01:30:30Smick.
01:30:32Whack.
01:30:34Whack.
01:30:36Whack.
01:30:38Whack.
01:30:40Whack.
01:31:00Hold free.
01:31:02Safe.
01:31:04Hold free.
01:31:06Safe.
01:31:08Oh, man. Not again.
01:31:10Sorry, pal.
01:31:12Ah, you lose. You're it.
01:31:14But I was just it three times.
01:31:16Too bad.
01:31:18I'll be it.
01:31:19Why don't we just tell the story?
01:31:21Why are we playing this dumb kid's game anyway?
01:31:24Who's going tonight?
01:31:25I am. And it's not a dumb kid's game.
01:31:34I wanted us to play hide and seek to get in the mood for my story.
01:31:37How's a game going to get us in the mood for a scary tale?
01:31:40Because hide and seek is not like any other game.
01:31:43You start off in a group,
01:31:45but when you're out there in the dark,
01:31:47you're all alone.
01:31:49You gotta hide and be real quiet,
01:31:52because you never know when somebody might jump out and catch you.
01:32:03My story is about a game of hide and seek,
01:32:05but with a twist.
01:32:07When you play the game in my story,
01:32:09you never know when you'll get caught,
01:32:12and you never know who or what might catch you.
01:32:18Submitted for the approval of the Midnight Society,
01:32:22I call this story...
01:32:26The Tale of Old Man Corcoran.
01:32:31Jack and Kenny Harris just moved into the neighborhood
01:32:34and hadn't made many friends yet.
01:32:36It's never easy being the new kids on the block.
01:32:39You'll do almost anything to fit in.
01:32:42But Jack and Kenny are about to find out
01:32:45that that's not always such a good idea.
01:33:04Oh!
01:33:22Sucker shot!
01:33:23Jack!
01:33:31Jack!
01:33:32Jack!
01:33:33Say uncle!
01:33:34Jack!
01:33:35Look!
01:33:36Say it!
01:33:37Jack!
01:33:39What's up?
01:33:41What do you want?
01:33:42Jack.
01:33:43I want to say hello.
01:33:45Hey, I'm Kenny, this is my brother Jack.
01:33:47I saw you guys moving in last week.
01:33:49Where you from?
01:33:50Eastside.
01:33:51Eastside?
01:33:52Nice neighborhood.
01:33:53Toughest in the city.
01:33:54Yeah, that's why we moved.
01:33:56So, you guys like it here?
01:33:57I don't know, it's kind of a loser neighborhood.
01:34:00It is not.
01:34:01We like it a lot better here.
01:34:02You guys made any friends yet?
01:34:04No.
01:34:05Well, if you want.
01:34:06You see those guys over there?
01:34:08Yeah.
01:34:09We get together every once in a while
01:34:11for a game of hide and seek.
01:34:12We're playing tonight if you guys want to come.
01:34:14I don't think so.
01:34:16Why not?
01:34:17Well, it's just a stupid kids game.
01:34:19That's okay.
01:34:20You guys would probably be too afraid
01:34:22to play what we do anyway.
01:34:23Where do you play?
01:34:24End of Anchor Street, behind the big gates.
01:34:27Why do you say you'd be too afraid to play there?
01:34:31Let's just say it gets pretty dark in there at night.
01:34:34Yeah, well, we're not chicken, are we, Kenny?
01:34:38No.
01:34:39Meet us there at sunset.
01:34:41Unless you're afraid.
01:34:49What does he mean, unless you're afraid?
01:34:52I don't know.
01:34:53It's a kids game, right?
01:34:55What's so scary about hide and seek?
01:35:01You're kidding, right?
01:35:03Come on, let's go.
01:35:05We're going in there?
01:35:07You're the one who wanted to make friends, remember?
01:35:09Let's go!
01:35:30Jack?
01:35:40Jack?
01:35:42Jack!
01:35:43Hey!
01:35:45This way.
01:36:01Where are they?
01:36:03Boo!
01:36:04Oh, man, you should have seen your faces.
01:36:07You're a comic genius.
01:36:09Where is everybody?
01:36:10Out in the graveyard.
01:36:12We didn't think you'd show.
01:36:14Now we're going to have to start over.
01:36:17Olly olly oxen free!
01:36:20Olly olly oxen free!
01:36:31How you doing?
01:36:33Hi.
01:36:40That's Ron Jacobson, Scott Wolden, Laura Ayers, Mary Alice Reardon, and Sissy Vernon.
01:36:47Sissy?
01:36:48Just call me Vernon.
01:36:50What are they doing here?
01:36:52I invited them.
01:36:53We've got enough people in the group.
01:36:55We don't need any more.
01:36:57Sure we do.
01:36:58The more the better.
01:37:00Hope you don't scare easy.
01:37:02What's there to be scared about?
01:37:04It's just a graveyard.
01:37:06Everyone's dead here.
01:37:07Well, kinda.
01:37:08What are you talking about?
01:37:10You didn't tell them the legend of Old Man Corcoran.
01:37:12The legend of who?
01:37:13Old Man Corcoran.
01:37:15He was a groundskeeper here.
01:37:17He used to dig the graves by hand.
01:37:20No machinery.
01:37:22He thought he was going to be a hero.
01:37:25No machinery.
01:37:26He thought he owned the place.
01:37:28So he'd walk around at night.
01:37:30All by himself.
01:37:32Just to make sure no one was trespassing.
01:37:36If he wasn't here, he'd be out in the woods by his cabin.
01:37:40Just playing his harmonica.
01:37:42That's not much of a legend.
01:37:44It gets better.
01:37:46They say he was crazy.
01:37:49They say he caught this kid stealing something from his shack.
01:37:54So he took an ax and cut his hand off.
01:38:02One day, he was digging a grave.
01:38:06When all of a sudden, the saws caved in on him.
01:38:13He was buried alive.
01:38:15Gross.
01:38:17Some say he still walks the graveyard at night.
01:38:20Looking for trespassers.
01:38:23And if it's real quiet,
01:38:27you might even hear him playing his harmonica.
01:38:30Off in the distance.
01:38:33You call that scary?
01:38:35Shoot, my grandma's scarier than that.
01:38:37Yeah, you should try living in our old neighborhood.
01:38:40Now that's scary.
01:38:42Yeah, I'd like to see how long you last in there, vermin.
01:38:45That's Vernon.
01:38:47Whatever.
01:38:48Old man Corcoran's out there.
01:38:50I'll believe it when I see it.
01:38:52Are we gonna play or stand around talking?
01:38:54We're gonna play.
01:38:56All of us.
01:38:58The tree's home base.
01:39:00Hide anywhere you want.
01:39:02Anything outside the fence is out of bounds.
01:39:05Last one in is it.
01:39:07Ron, you're up.
01:39:10Ready?
01:39:12Go!
01:39:13One, two, three.
01:39:18This is lame.
01:39:19We should just go home.
01:39:21No!
01:39:22If we go now, we'll never make any friends.
01:39:28Remember, friends, as you pass by.
01:39:31As you are now, so once was I.
01:39:34Remember in life that you must die.
01:39:37Yuck.
01:39:39I'm sorry.
01:39:40I'm sorry.
01:39:41I'm sorry.
01:39:42I'm sorry.
01:39:43I'm sorry.
01:39:44I'm sorry.
01:39:45You must die.
01:39:47Yuck.
01:39:48Old man Kenny, come here.
01:39:51He must be burying somebody soon.
01:39:58Jack, stop it.
01:40:00Don't be such a baby.
01:40:01This would be a great hiding place.
01:40:03Till it caved in.
01:40:07Shh.
01:40:08What is that?
01:40:16Hey, it's coming from in there.
01:40:18You think it's old man Corcoran?
01:40:20Nah.
01:40:21It's probably one of them trying to scare us.
01:40:23Let's go find them.
01:40:39Look.
01:40:40Old man Corcoran's shack.
01:40:42Old man Corcoran's shack.
01:40:51Get down.
01:41:01When they get close, we'll jump out and scare them.
01:41:05You think they brought an ax all the way out here just to play a joke on us?
01:41:09That's what I would do.
01:41:13What if it's really old man Corcoran?
01:41:16You've seen too many movies.
01:41:29No one's there.
01:41:32No one's there.
01:41:36Look.
01:41:37What's that?
01:41:38It's a harmonica.
01:41:40Let's get out of here.
01:41:41Yeah.
01:41:56Oh, you got me.
01:42:02Ah!
01:42:09Afraid of the dark?
01:42:11Stay in the glow of the couch and stay tuned.
01:42:15Do you have it?
01:42:16Got it!
01:42:25More unstoppable, endurance unnatural.
01:42:27You're trying your best and not all things are possible.
01:42:30Nothing's unfolding, things you're holding.
01:42:32Persistence and courage together you're molding.
01:42:34Show a shot to the clock, on top, non-stop.
01:42:36Go get a good sport, good times, you got to see your goal.
01:42:39You reach and you grab it, now ask yourself.
01:42:42Do you have it?
01:42:44Got it!
01:42:49Summertime makes me think of hot dogs.
01:42:55Summertime makes me think of canoeing.
01:43:00Summertime makes me think of pool.
01:43:02Camping well.
01:43:03Having ledge fights.
01:43:04Fishing.
01:43:05Climbing fences.
01:43:06Climbing trees.
01:43:07Playing in sprinklers.
01:43:09Playing in the lake.
01:43:10Jumping ropes.
01:43:12Summertime makes me feel good.
01:43:14Yeah.
01:43:17Hey, hey, hey you.
01:43:19What's it feel like to get hit with $200,000 all at once?
01:43:23With Jersey Cash 5 from the New Jersey Lottery, you can win $200,000 in one big hit.
01:43:29One single pay-off.
01:43:31And it happens twice a week.
01:43:34Play Jersey Cash 5 every Tuesday and Friday for just a buck.
01:43:38It'll hit you all at once.
01:43:40Hey, hey, hey!
01:43:41Yahoo-hoo!
01:43:44Who puts more happy in happy birthday?
01:43:47Dairy Queen.
01:43:49Who puts more happy in happy birthday?
01:43:52Dairy Queen.
01:43:54Our frozen cakes made with chocolate and vanilla soft serve, chocolate crunch, and fudge are custom decorated.
01:44:01We make happy birthdays a piece of cake.
01:44:05And try our great tasting treats like the Dilly Bar, the Buster Bar, the DQ Sandwich, or the Fudge Nut Bar.
01:44:14We treat you right.
01:44:16Dairy Queen.
01:44:18I drink soda and I eat Rocky Road ice cream.
01:44:22He curls up on the couch with like all his potato chips and stuff.
01:44:26We just sit together and we laugh and we go like this.
01:44:30There's more snicking next.
01:44:32If you're a kid, you probably watch a lot of television.
01:44:35But did you know that in just one hour, you might end up seeing 25 acts of violence on TV?
01:44:42Nick News Special Edition asks, are you what you watch?
01:44:46Does it make you violent? Does it make you scared?
01:44:48Or have you seen so much that you just don't care?
01:44:51Join me, Linda Ellerbe, and get the answers when kids and experts take a hard look at violence on television.
01:44:57Catch an encore presentation of Are You What You Watch tomorrow at 8, 7 Central, only on Nick.
01:45:03Now, the snicking begins again with Are You Afraid of the Dark?
01:45:15Are You Afraid of the Dark?
01:45:21He's right behind us. He's right behind us. It's that guy.
01:45:35Jack!
01:45:36Come on, I'm out of pants.
01:45:46Ah!
01:45:58What?
01:45:59This is all your fault.
01:46:01If it hadn't been for your stupid pants, Mom wouldn't have made us leave the garage.
01:46:04Oh, yeah? Well, you're the one who wanted to go there in the first place.
01:46:08Oh, yeah?
01:46:09Yeah. I wish Mom never went back to school.
01:46:11Then we wouldn't have moved and we'd still be with our old friends.
01:46:14Mom would do a lot to get us out of that old neighborhood.
01:46:16I don't ever wish we were back there in front of her.
01:46:18Hey, you guys are pretty good. Why don't you come do my room next?
01:46:25Hey, so you guys playing tonight?
01:46:27Tonight? Again?
01:46:28Well, you didn't get to finish the game last night.
01:46:31Uh, I don't think we're up to it.
01:46:34Why not?
01:46:35We just aren't.
01:46:37I told you they were chickens.
01:46:38We're not!
01:46:40Vern just told you that story to scare you.
01:46:42She doesn't want anyone else joining the group.
01:46:45I thought you said you weren't afraid of ghosts.
01:46:47I said I believe it when I see it and I saw it.
01:46:49You didn't see anything.
01:46:51They told you a story and you're mind-filled in the rest.
01:46:53No, we saw old man Corcoran.
01:46:55Sure you did.
01:46:59That's enough!
01:47:00We'll be there tonight.
01:47:02Great. See you there.
01:47:06Jack?
01:47:07I don't want to make friends that bad.
01:47:09This isn't about making friends anymore, Kenny.
01:47:12We gotta prove we can handle it here.
01:47:15We're gonna play their game.
01:47:20Come on, man. Let's play already.
01:47:22Yeah, they're not coming.
01:47:23They'll be here.
01:47:25What's the big deal about letting them in the group anyway?
01:47:28I'm tired of the same people all the time.
01:47:30We haven't had any new players since...
01:47:32Since I joined?
01:47:34And you said after me there wasn't gonna be anymore.
01:47:36Guess you was wrong.
01:47:40You guys got more guts than I thought.
01:47:42Aren't you afraid old man Corcoran's gonna get you?
01:47:44Shut up about that stupid story.
01:47:46There's no such thing as old man Corcoran.
01:47:49Now let's play.
01:47:51You're both it.
01:47:53How do you figure that?
01:47:54You left the game early last night.
01:47:56And since you wimps are so scared, you can be it together.
01:48:00Yeah, why don't you babies hold hands?
01:48:04Come on.
01:48:09One...
01:48:10Two...
01:48:11Three...
01:48:13You think it's gonna be like this all the time?
01:48:15Five...
01:48:16Six...
01:48:17Seven...
01:48:18Eight...
01:48:19I just wanna make some friends.
01:48:21Ten...
01:48:22Let's go.
01:48:34Ten...
01:48:35Eleven...
01:48:36Twelve...
01:48:37Thirteen...
01:48:38Fourteen...
01:48:39Fifteen...
01:48:40Sixteen...
01:48:41Seventeen...
01:48:42Eighteen...
01:48:43Nineteen...
01:48:44Twenty...
01:48:45Twenty-one...
01:48:46Twenty-two...
01:48:47Twenty-three...
01:48:48Twenty-four...
01:48:49Twenty-five...
01:48:50Twenty-six...
01:48:51Twenty-seven...
01:48:52Twenty-eight...
01:48:53Twenty-nine...
01:48:54Twenty-ten...
01:48:55Twenty-eleven...
01:48:56Twenty-twelve...
01:48:57Twenty-thirty...
01:48:58Twenty-forty...
01:48:59Twenty-forty-five...
01:49:00Twenty-forty-six...
01:49:01Twenty-forty-seven...
01:49:02Twenty-forty-eight...
01:49:03Twenty-nine...
01:49:04Twenty-one...
01:49:05Twenty-two...
01:49:06Twenty-three...
01:49:07Twenty-four...
01:49:08Twenty-five...
01:49:09Twenty-six...
01:49:10Twenty-seven...
01:49:11Twenty-eight...
01:49:12Twenty-nine...
01:49:13Twenty-ten...
01:49:14Twenty-eleven...
01:49:15Twenty-twelve...
01:49:16Twenty-thirteen...
01:49:17Twenty-fourteen...
01:49:18Twenty-fifteen...
01:49:19Twenty-seventeen...
01:49:20Twenty-eighteen...
01:49:21Twenty-nineteen...
01:49:22This is stupid.
01:49:23We're never gonna get anybody.
01:49:24Listen.
01:49:25Hear that?
01:49:26No.
01:49:27It's old mate Corcoran.
01:49:28Come on.
01:49:29It's old mate Corcoran.
01:49:30Come on.
01:49:43Hey, why don't we get the others and all go in together?
01:49:45No.
01:49:46By the time we get back, he'll be gone.
01:49:48Old mate Corcoran's out there and we're gonna prove it.
01:49:50How?
01:49:51Way to steal his harmonica.
01:49:59There it is.
01:50:00There it is.
01:50:28There it is.
01:50:31There it is.
01:50:49Let's get out of here.
01:50:50Not yet.
01:51:00Not yet.
01:51:15That was close.
01:51:16Yeah.
01:51:17He almost saw us.
01:51:18No, I mean we're so close to getting the harmonica.
01:51:20Now we're gonna have to go get it.
01:51:22We don't need the harmonica.
01:51:24Let's just get the others out here to see him.
01:51:27Where are you going?
01:51:28To get the others.
01:51:31Get back here.
01:51:36Chicken.
01:51:37Get him myself.
01:51:40If I die, it's his fault.
01:51:56Come on.
01:52:27Hello?
01:52:29Hello?
01:52:57Hey.
01:52:59Oh, great.
01:53:03Hey.
01:53:27What are you doing here?
01:53:29I got scared.
01:53:30But look what I found.
01:53:32Now we've got proof.
01:53:33Now they have to believe us.
01:53:35Yeah, give me the flashlight.
01:53:37I'm not holding the flashlight.
01:53:40Well, I'm not holding the flashlight.
01:53:42Dad?
01:53:45Give me my harmonica.
01:53:56Dad!
01:54:02Let's go upstairs.
01:54:10You okay?
01:54:11Yeah.
01:54:12Get out of here.
01:54:13I was here first.
01:54:14Fern, shut up and listen.
01:54:15We saw old man Corgan again.
01:54:16He's up there and he's after us.
01:54:18I stole his harmonica.
01:54:19I don't want you here.
01:54:21Did you hear what I just said?
01:54:23Get out of here.
01:54:24Make me.
01:54:26Come on.
01:54:27Let's go, Jack.
01:54:28I don't like being in here anyway.
01:54:34Hurry up.
01:54:38We're leaving.
01:54:40Go find your own grave.
01:54:42Sorry.
01:54:43Didn't see your name on it.
01:54:50We'll look a little closer next time.
01:54:57Hi, guys.
01:55:00Sorry.
01:55:01Didn't mean to scare you.
01:55:02Man, you got to get out of here.
01:55:04Jack stole old man Corgan's harmonica and he's been chasing.
01:55:07Guys, the old man Corgan stories are getting old.
01:55:10We're playing a game here.
01:55:12Come on.
01:55:13Get in.
01:55:14It's a great hiding place.
01:55:15Man, when you forget about the stupid game.
01:55:17Don't you want to play?
01:55:19They can never find you in here.
01:55:21Come on.
01:55:27What are you doing here?
01:55:31We?
01:55:32We were playing hide and seek.
01:55:34In the graveyard?
01:55:37Just the two of you?
01:55:39No.
01:55:40With our friends.
01:55:44Sissy Vernon.
01:55:46Ron Jacobson.
01:55:48Marsha McClain.
01:55:51That ain't very funny.
01:55:53All those kids are dead and buried.
01:55:55I dug the graves myself.
01:56:04What's wrong with you two?
01:56:06You look like you've seen a ghost.
01:56:22The end.
01:56:24So, does anyone want to play the dumb kids game again?
01:56:31Not it.
01:56:32Not it.
01:56:33Not it.
01:56:34Not it.
01:56:35You're it.
01:56:37Goof.
01:56:41One.
01:56:42Two.
01:56:44Three.
01:56:45Four.
01:56:47Five.
01:56:48Six.
01:56:49Seven.
01:56:50Eight.
01:56:53Nine.
01:56:54Ten.
01:56:55Eleven.
01:56:56Twelve.
01:56:57Thirteen.
01:56:58Fourteen.
01:56:59Fifteen.
01:57:00Sixteen.
01:57:01Seventeen.
01:57:02Eighteen.
01:57:03Nineteen.
01:57:04Twenty.
01:57:05Twenty-one.
01:57:06Twenty-two.
01:57:07Twenty-three.
01:57:08Twenty-four.
01:57:09Twenty-five.
01:57:10Twenty-six.
01:57:11Twenty-seven.
01:57:12Twenty-eight.
01:57:13Twenty-nine.
01:57:14Twenty-ten.
01:57:15Twenty-eleven.
01:57:16Twenty-twelve.
01:57:17Twenty-thirty.
01:57:18Twenty-forty.
01:57:19Twenty-forty.
01:57:20Twenty-forty.
01:57:21Twenty-forty.
01:57:23Twenty-one.
01:57:25Time flies when you sneak, that's all for tonight.
01:57:55Nick Snicks again next week, it'll be Snickerific, Snicktastic, Snicktacular, it'll be Tickle.
01:58:03So make sure you're here every Saturday night when your clock strikes Snick, Tickle.
01:58:11Get in your favorite chair, or snuggle up with your teddy bear,
01:58:16or tuck yourself in and turn out the lights, it's time for GoodCV with...