my

  • last month
Transcript
00:00Previously on My Big Fat Fabulous Life.
00:03Oh, hell to the no.
00:05She went exorcist with it.
00:07The only thing that scares me about being 40
00:09is not having a partner.
00:10Also knowing like I'm probably not gonna have kids
00:12because I'm still single.
00:13Do you think that you are ready to move on?
00:18From the Frenchman.
00:19I still talk to the Frenchman very regularly.
00:22Am I pathetic?
00:23Probably.
00:24It might be easier to move on
00:25if you didn't talk to him every day.
00:27Mm-hmm.
00:30We're middle-aged.
00:31I'm having an existential crisis about it.
00:33That's the thing.
00:34I've been in existential crisis since I was 18.
00:36On the highway of life,
00:38I truly feel that I am stalled.
00:41So I have got to change my gears
00:43because I would like to get back on the road
00:46and headed in a positive direction.
00:48I think we really do need to go to the psychic.
00:50I need someone to like sage,
00:52I'll sage my, I don't care.
00:54Spirits, the demons.
00:56They're clogging up my passageways.
01:00K-A-Pow
01:01K-A-Pow
01:05K-A-Pow
01:06K-A-Pow
01:08K-A-Pow
01:09Is Goosey coming?
01:33Goosey is not coming.
01:35And I have sprained my ankle so bad.
01:37Oh, no.
01:39You want me to drive your car?
01:40If you want to, yeah.
01:42I don't mind.
01:42And certainly, if you're unable to, I will.
01:46Ooh.
01:47It looks like you have on a house monitor ankle bracelet.
01:52It's a hot and cold gel pack.
01:53I'm so sorry.
01:54This is 40.
01:56Is this psychic going to help you get it together?
01:58Can this psychic please give me some good news?
02:00Things are falling apart over here.
02:02One of my New Year's resolutions was to visit a psychic with Tal
02:05because I'm looking for a way to feel
02:08more connected to my mother.
02:10And also, of course, I have lots of questions
02:12about my future, particularly my love life.
02:15Oh, lord.
02:17I've always been interested in psychics and the paranormal,
02:21but I've also really always been a skeptic.
02:23But I have heard amazing things about Gina.
02:26So if this woman can give me some hope for the future,
02:29it will be more than worth the 90-minute drive
02:32it takes to get there because I have got a whole lot going on
02:35and not a lot of time left before I turn 40
02:37to figure it out.
02:40Oh, I'm excited.
02:42I'm really excited.
02:42I am too.
02:43I'm truly curious to hear what the psychic has to say.
02:46If a psychic can look into their crystal ball
02:48and see something exciting on the horizon,
02:51then yes, please and thank you.
02:54How are your resolutions going?
02:57Well, I haven't been very resolute yet
03:00because I had the bachelorette party,
03:01and so I was all consumed.
03:03So now that the bachelorette weekend is over,
03:05I was thinking about having everyone over to my house
03:09because I haven't really gotten to entertain.
03:11And I'm focusing on friendships in the new year,
03:14so I would love to have all y'all over this weekend.
03:18Of course.
03:19That kind of is one of my resolutions for the new year.
03:21Like, I'm focusing on me and other kinds of relationships.
03:25You know, me too.
03:25I've had some serious s*** with men.
03:30It just sucks because obviously it's not a future here
03:33with French man, logistically.
03:35Maybe the psychic will be able to give you some insight
03:38into why it's been such a frustrating road for you.
03:42I certainly hope so.
03:56Look what's right next to the psychic.
03:59Cat's Coffee and Magic.
04:00We're doing the magic part.
04:02Wait, how many stairs is this?
04:03Oh boy.
04:04I got you.
04:05I can't believe the psychic is right next to the cat cafe.
04:09Hi.
04:09Hey there.
04:10How you doing today?
04:11I'm good, how are you?
04:12Good.
04:13My name is Gina.
04:14Gina, I'm Whitney.
04:14Nice to meet you.
04:15Whitney, very nice to meet you.
04:16This is Tal.
04:17Hey Tal, how are you?
04:18I'm great.
04:19Nice to meet you.
04:19We're excited to be here.
04:20I'm so excited to have you guys here.
04:21Do you want to look around first
04:23or you just want to get right to it?
04:24Let's do it.
04:25Yeah, let's do it.
04:26Okay, all right.
04:27You can have a seat right over here.
04:28Tal and I are on opposite ends of the spectrum
04:32when it comes to actually finding people to date.
04:34But at the end of the day, we're both in the same boat.
04:38Like we're both still single
04:40and wondering what we can do to change it.
04:45So first and foremost, I'm a futurist.
04:48And what that means is I'm going to tap into the future
04:49that you guys are co-creating with the universe.
04:52So I tell my clients, if you like what you hear,
04:54keep doing what you're doing.
04:56If you don't like what you hear,
04:57change your mind, change your outcome.
04:58If you have a specific question, I don't want to know.
05:02Okay, you want to whisper it in each other's ears?
05:15So what you're going to be able to do
05:17is apply the information that I'm giving you
05:19to your question.
05:26All righty.
05:28Interesting.
05:28So the energy that covers you both, okay,
05:32is the two of wands.
05:33And the two of wands is literally a card
05:34that talks about making plans for the future.
05:37When I look at this card, this is a three of pentacles,
05:40and it basically talks about the fact that one of you
05:43or both of you don't feel like you're being admired,
05:45appreciated, or respected for what you bring to the table.
05:48Okay?
05:50And what I'm seeing here with this eight of cups
05:52is that one or both of you are thinking about
05:55going back to something, someone, or some place
05:58that you left.
05:59Does that resonate?
06:01Mm-hmm.
06:02Okay.
06:03So Whitney, I'm going to also tap into your energy body,
06:06your auric field, specifically your chakras.
06:08So when I tap into you energetically,
06:10definitely feeling your heart chakra.
06:11You've got a huge heart chakra.
06:14You are definitely working with your ancestors.
06:17Your maternal lineage is very strong.
06:21And there is someone who passed away that's with you.
06:23Female just popped up.
06:25It's so interesting.
06:26Let me see if there's anything
06:27that she wants to pop through.
06:30Hmm.
06:32So this is a card.
06:32I want you to look at it.
06:34These black birds represent thoughts, ideas, and beliefs,
06:37and she's basically urging you to let some things go.
06:40Okay?
06:41And actually, what I love about this image
06:43is that you see her back.
06:45She is letting it go.
06:46And this is you.
06:51For someone who has such an easy time
06:53accessing my emotions,
06:55I truly think that I have a lot of grief
06:58about my mom kind of boxed up in a place
07:00that I cannot access.
07:02So to hear from Gina that my mom is encouraging me
07:06to let that go is actually very comforting.
07:12It's painful.
07:14You will stop mourning.
07:16You will never stop grieving.
07:19So did you have another question?
07:23Well, I just want to know
07:25if I'm gonna find romantic love and partnership.
07:30Oh.
07:32Okay, interesting.
07:34All right, let's look at this.
07:35This particular card actually talks about
07:36that you're holding onto grief from something in the past.
07:40And when you are done healing from that experience, right,
07:44you're gonna create the space
07:46that will allow you to attract what it is that you want.
07:48And let me tell you why this is really important.
07:51If you don't heal before you attract
07:54this new person in your life,
07:56whoever it is is going to reflect your worst thoughts,
08:00ideas, and beliefs around yourself.
08:02Okay, don't want that.
08:03No, no, we don't want that.
08:05And so your homework is you have to flip the switch
08:07when you've gotten negative self-talk.
08:09Yes.
08:10Okay, so that you can attract what it is that you desire.
08:13There's some opportunity around worth here, right?
08:16And so just know you can have whatever you want.
08:19You just have to believe you're worth it.
08:23I think Tina just dispensed
08:25some really valuable wisdom here.
08:27I mean, I've been through a lot in my life
08:30and I've been through a lot in relationships.
08:32And I do think that I need to really make sure
08:36I've healed from that stuff
08:37because I can't think of anything less desirable
08:40than meeting a new partner
08:42and him reflecting my worst qualities back to me.
08:46Are you ready?
08:47I think so.
08:48I had a question about returning to something or someone
08:53concerning a relationship
08:54that I have felt very conflicted about.
08:57I've been in a really tumultuous on and off relationship
09:00for the last eight or nine months.
09:02And this person and I are not currently together.
09:08Interesting.
09:08This is about planting seeds.
09:10So did you actually reach out to this person last week?
09:13Yes.
09:16Yeah, that's here.
09:19So this is spooky.
09:20I reached out to him because I still love him a lot
09:24but there were indicators that this relationship
09:26is just not viable.
09:28So this temperance card is basically a card
09:30that talks about balance.
09:31So there's an opportunity for you to have balance
09:33between your light and your dark.
09:34You don't always have to be nice.
09:36You don't always have to be kind.
09:37Sometimes you just got to tell somebody back up, man.
09:40Back up.
09:41And this is the herophant.
09:42So this is a card that talks about
09:43the way you've always done things.
09:45This card is reversed.
09:46And so it's basically giving you an invitation
09:48to change things up.
09:50Yeah.
09:50I do believe 100% that she is intuitive
09:54and she is sensing things about me that I have not told her.
09:57I definitely have more homework to do after this reading
10:00because I am fascinated by everything she's saying.
10:03That was wonderful.
10:04Thank you so much.
10:06I appreciate it.
10:07I am really grateful for this session.
10:09I think Gina told me a lot of things I needed to hear.
10:13I can't say that I immediately feel more connected
10:15to my mother, which is something I had hoped for,
10:18but maybe the more work I do on myself,
10:22I will clear space to be able to feel her,
10:26even though she's not here.
10:30Welcome to the cat lounge.
10:31These are all rescue cats and they're all up for adoption.
10:34That's the last thing you needed to tell me.
10:36Oh boy.
10:37This one's cute.
10:39This makes me want to adopt a cat.
10:43Well, this has just been the best afternoon.
10:46The sweet baby.
10:48The sweet baby.
10:49Hey, Tal.
10:50Hey, Whitney.
10:51Hey.
10:52So I'm Gianna, Gina's daughter,
10:54and I was there throughout the entire reading.
10:57And I just wanted to tell you that when my mom
10:59had tapped into you and was actually tapping
11:01into the energies around you, your mom showed up.
11:05She did say that she's always there.
11:08She's always with you.
11:11And basically all you have to do is turn around.
11:17Of course.
11:19Of course.
11:22It does mean a lot to me that Gina's daughter told me that.
11:27Because what it reminded me is that my mom
11:31is still there for me.
11:34Because before she died, she told me
11:36that she would always try to be with me.
11:40And I can try to connect with her at any time,
11:44even though she's not here in the flesh.
11:50Whitney, if you needed a sign that your mom was here,
11:52I think all these cats was enough of one.
11:56Right next to our psychic.
12:00There was a cat cafe right next door.
12:02They're up for adoption.
12:04I don't want to hear any more about adopting a cat.
12:06Well, dad, if I'm not going to have kids, then I'm-
12:08Well, how do you know you're not going to have kids?
12:09You got to work at finding a man.
12:11Do you think I want to be single?
12:13I'm a childless woman in the midst of a midlife crisis.
12:15And I'm only making it a joke because if I don't laugh,
12:17I'll cry.
12:31I wish you'd known when you came to Greensboro
12:33that I couldn't walk because I couldn't use your scooter.
12:35Yeah.
12:36Your little ankle scooter.
12:38You all right?
12:39Oh, no, I'm fine.
12:39I just don't want to walk on it because it hurts.
12:42And I'm nervous that I'm going to like step wrong
12:45and like really do it in.
12:46Right.
12:47And I was just walking out of my bathroom
12:49and I just went.
12:50Yeah.
12:51For no reason.
12:51Yeah, I walked down a curb.
12:52That's what happened to me.
12:54Is this what happens?
12:55This is sporty, dude.
12:56I was about to say, look at me, I'm backing up.
12:59I'm getting ready.
13:00I'm like, all right.
13:01Getting ready for the little bump.
13:02Here I go.
13:05As soon as my brother and I learned
13:06that my dad wanted to sell the house,
13:08we immediately tried to scheme ways to incentivize him
13:11to not do that.
13:13The solution is to reno the downstairs bedroom.
13:16You Mike?
13:17I'm Mike.
13:18You must be Whitney.
13:18I'm Whitney.
13:19Nice to meet you.
13:20Nice to meet you as well.
13:21My first step in doing that is to see some flooring
13:24and hopefully we are going to change this room
13:26into something that my dad will love.
13:28Is he your design consultant?
13:30No, although he's not bad,
13:32especially for a straight male.
13:37Yeah, I hold it down.
13:38Yeah, he does.
13:39I hold it down.
13:40I'm going to do a little bit of a remodel in the works.
13:42It's for my dad's bedroom with an attached bathroom.
13:46Sure, okay.
13:47Right now it's got some nasty carpet in there
13:48that's been in there for probably 30 years.
13:51Time to go.
13:52Absolutely.
13:53So I want some LVP and can you put that over tile?
13:58We can.
13:58So there's some processes we can do to tile
14:00that way the grout joints don't bleed through.
14:02Right.
14:03So my ultimate fantasy in terms of the flooring
14:05is luxury vinyl plank flooring.
14:07And if that doesn't make me sound old as,
14:09I don't know what does.
14:10I am heading into my geriatric era
14:13a little faster than I wanted to.
14:16So this is actually a local company I work with.
14:18They have a ton of different options to choose from
14:20all the way from your rustic kind of farmhouse
14:23kind of a vibe.
14:23To be honest with you, I don't like farmhouse,
14:25I don't like rustic, I don't like chickens.
14:27If I go my way, it's that one right there.
14:31This one on top?
14:31Yeah.
14:32But if we go dad's way, what could it be?
14:35Ultimately, this is a Glen Thor renovation.
14:38So I have to kind of keep his tastes in mind
14:43because I know we have different tastes,
14:44but that's why I have Buddy here
14:45because he can give a little insight here or there
14:49onto what a man would like.
14:51And if you want it, because it is going to be budding up.
14:54Oh.
14:55Right there at the bathroom.
14:56Now.
14:57The black one would work as well.
14:58Yeah, I'll walk all over that.
14:59Okay, let me see with the black.
15:01All right.
15:03Ooh, but I like that too.
15:05Maybe the black is better.
15:07I say let's go with black.
15:09Let's do it.
15:10Excellent.
15:11Do you have like a recommendation for like a painter?
15:13Absolutely, yeah.
15:14I use, he's the best painter in town right now.
15:16His company's called Fifty Shades of Gray.
15:19Love it.
15:19His name's Gray, so he does a phenomenal job.
15:22Oh, perfect.
15:22Okay.
15:23We can get the ball rolling.
15:24Do you want to do next week?
15:26Oh, perfect.
15:27Yeah, as soon as possible would be great.
15:28All right.
15:29I will see you guys there.
15:30Perfect, thank you, Mike.
15:31It's been a pleasure doing business.
15:33Absolutely, it's been a pleasure.
15:34Yeah, me too.
15:35I'm thankful that one thing for this renovation
15:38is done, but there are a million more things to do.
15:40And the more and more I think about it,
15:41I'm like, how am I going to do this in an untimely manner
15:45where my dad doesn't get suspicious?
15:46Like, I may have bitten off way more than I can chew.
15:51Oh, if you got anybody on the crew, you know,
15:53they're single, whatever.
15:55Oh.
15:56Attractive.
15:57I'll send them your way.
15:58Send them my way.
15:58You got it.
15:59Bye.
16:00Bye.
16:01Uh.
16:09We're going to do some bike work.
16:12I have not been on one of these
16:14and I couldn't tell you when.
16:17I woke up today with my ankle feeling much better,
16:20which is great news.
16:21And I wanted to get in the gym and do something
16:23because I haven't been able to put much weight on it.
16:25So I'm bringing my dad with me because between my ankle
16:28and his hip and his knee and his everything else,
16:31we got some work to do.
16:34Ah, I don't know if this is right.
16:37I sh...
16:39Let me go back some more.
16:47Oh, no, that's too much.
16:48No, I can't reach.
16:50Damn, I've already done them.
16:52Ah.
16:55Ah.
17:00Ah.
17:04Oh, they got the air on in here.
17:07Tell me about your visit to the psychic.
17:09She was really nice and I liked her
17:12and she dispensed some wisdom.
17:15One of the upsides of the psychic
17:17was that there was a cat cafe right next door.
17:19They're up for adoption.
17:22What?
17:23You can't have another cat.
17:24Who says?
17:25I don't wanna hear any more about it.
17:28About what?
17:29About adopting a cat.
17:31Well, dad, if I'm not gonna have kids,
17:32then I have all the time and effort and resources
17:37to pour into something else.
17:38Well, how do you know you're not gonna have kids?
17:40Do you know how kids are made?
17:42Usually.
17:44Someone's gotta put the pizza in the oven,
17:45you know what I mean?
17:48I'm a childless woman in the midst of a midlife crisis
17:51and I'm only making it a joke
17:52because if I don't laugh, I'll cry.
17:54Do you think I wanna be single?
17:56No.
17:57You don't think I would love
17:58to be putting these ovaries to use?
18:01We can cut out the middle part here.
18:03I just want a grandchild.
18:06A human grandchild.
18:10It is unnerving to talk about a grandchild with my dad.
18:14It's certainly not the first time
18:15that we've had this conversation.
18:17You know, it's like, dad, I want this too.
18:21What I wanna know this, if you're so concerned,
18:23what is the hard work that you're doing
18:26in defining me a man?
18:27Well, you need to start going out more
18:30and you could go with me to some of the places I go to
18:32because, for instance,
18:35that basketball game I went to the other night,
18:38there was a lot of young men roaming around
18:42and if you don't get involved like that,
18:44then you're not gonna meet any.
18:46Oh my God.
18:47I don't like basketball, daddy.
18:49Well, you gotta work at finding a man.
18:54Well, this is not helping my hip at all.
18:56Here, you know what you should do for your hip?
18:58Do this.
18:59Take your one leg, turn your foot out like that
19:02and you're gonna wanna come forward on it
19:05and you want that knee to be down.
19:06See how high up your knee is?
19:08This whole side's bad.
19:10Here, no, you stay straight.
19:11Your body stays straight.
19:16Okay.
19:17We didn't do, we didn't go nowhere.
19:19I will.
19:20Okay.
19:21I think you're gonna need a professional, daddy.
19:23A professional what?
19:24Stretcher.
19:25Are there professional stretchers?
19:27There are, yeah.
19:28And I can book us one
19:29because you're too young at heart to be this old in your leg.
19:34As a woman who has been fat for a long time,
19:36I know the benefits of having someone else stretch you
19:39to push you past your limits
19:41and also just to help you where like your body,
19:44you know, puts up a little roadblock.
19:46So I think to get stretched out by a professional
19:50for me and dad is absolutely necessary.
19:53I don't know if I was gonna mention it
19:54just cause I wasn't sure, you know, I don't know.
19:57But you know, Gina didn't really say anything
19:59about mom in my reading
20:01but there had been another young woman in there
20:04during the reading and I wasn't sure who she was.
20:06She came in and she said, you know, I'm Gina's daughter.
20:09And she said, I'm a medium.
20:12And she said, I just wanted you to know
20:15that your mom was with you the whole time.
20:19And she said, she's always with you.
20:21You just have to turn around.
20:25I went by and saw her last night.
20:28I kind of catch her up on what's going on.
20:30I have a nice conversation.
20:32Do you feel like she listens?
20:36Do you feel like she ever says anything back to you?
20:39Well, I think she listens as much as she ever did.
20:44True.
20:49You think that was the funniest thing
20:50you've ever said, don't you?
20:59Welcome.
21:02We've got the sage going.
21:04I have a whole ritual prepared.
21:06We're doing a sexual energy cleanse.
21:09What the?
21:23Hey, what are you doing?
21:30I'm actually already at your house.
21:33Todd let me in.
21:34Would it be cool if we hung out here tonight instead?
21:39I mean, I can just send a text, I guess,
21:40and let everybody know.
21:41I actually already let everybody know.
21:43I had a really busy week
21:44and I wasn't able to get my house together in time.
21:46I'm so sorry.
21:47Okay, I'll be there in like literally two minutes.
21:48Okay, I also have a little surprise.
21:50So come through the front door when you get here, okay?
21:53Okay, bye.
21:53All right, bye.
21:54I was super inspired by our experience with Gina.
21:58And I thought, why not continue the work
22:01that we started in Charlotte right here in her living room?
22:06We were originally gonna hang out at my house tonight
22:08and some folks in the friend group
22:10haven't seen my house yet
22:11and they were really excited about coming over.
22:13But this is more important.
22:16Whitney's house is much larger than mine.
22:18She is a gracious, accommodating host.
22:21And once the shock wears off, she is gonna be so down.
22:28Welcome.
22:33We've got the sage going.
22:35I have a whole ritual prepared.
22:37We're doing a sexual energy cleanse.
22:39What the f*** is that?
22:41Just wait.
22:42We're doing homework like Gina said.
22:44No, don't look yet.
22:45Oh, I see it.
22:49How did you get that in the house?
22:51I got it in with Todd's help.
22:53Oh.
22:54No, don't worry about it.
22:54Don't worry about it.
22:55Oh.
22:56You let him do this without asking me.
22:58You're supposed to be in charge of household.
23:00Just let me show you.
23:02I think I would rather see Tal naked,
23:04which I have many times,
23:06than see him wearing this cobalt blue banana hammock thing.
23:11Like, it's actually worse than if he was just naked.
23:17I will say that the blossoms are beautiful.
23:19The flowers are pretty.
23:21I should just sit here and hold the towel.
23:22I knew Tal was really into the psychic, but this is...
23:25This is a sexual energy cleanse
23:28because you can hold on to toxic sexual energy
23:31for seven to 30 years.
23:34These are rituals that will help us release
23:37what we need to let go of
23:39and invite in what we want to have more of.
23:42I need you to undress to your comfort.
23:45I don't want to attribute any of this to Gina
23:47because this was all my own doing
23:49that was just inspired by Gina.
23:51This is going to be a sexual energetic cleanse
23:54because I read that you can hold on
23:56to toxic sexual energy for seven to 30 years.
24:01And Gina said that Whitney has some things
24:02from the past to let go of,
24:03so I have gathered my ingredients
24:06and they all have their own function
24:09for what they are going to help us out with in the process.
24:13That's freezing.
24:14It's not freezing, it's room temp.
24:16That's not room temp.
24:17It is room temp.
24:18This is freezing.
24:19Why are we doing this?
24:21Okay, so we start with basil.
24:24Do you know what the basil is for?
24:25No, I do not. Tomato sauce.
24:26Emotional balance.
24:28Okay, this is freezing.
24:30You need to have an I can attitude.
24:33Gina advised me to let go of the trauma
24:36of my past relationships,
24:38and I was hoping to do that via therapy,
24:40maybe positive affirmations,
24:42learning some mantras, some sensible chanting,
24:45but I don't even know what this is.
24:47So at this point, I will probably die
24:50from inhalation of toxic chemicals or hypothermia
24:54before I ever even get back to therapy.
24:57It's going to make me pee.
24:58I'm not going to do, no, no, no.
25:00I'm not going to do it on purpose.
25:01This is about releasing dark energy,
25:03not about releasing urine.
25:05But when you- Please contain yourself.
25:06My body is conditioned,
25:08even when the shower water hits me.
25:10You know this about me.
25:12And yet I brought this pool into your living room.
25:14Exactly.
25:15Okay, rosemary is for releasing dark energy.
25:19So whatever that energy is that's been keeping you stuck,
25:23we are letting that go.
25:25And the salt's just for what, the cleansing?
25:27Just for general cleansing, yeah.
25:28Sprinkle some salt on me.
25:29One thing that you are already is salty enough.
25:32Breathe in the beautiful aromas of the herbs
25:37and the blossoms.
25:38Breathe out toxic dating apps.
25:43Todd was a naysayer,
25:44and now he's leading a meditation.
25:46Ghosts of lovers past.
25:48And ghosts of potential lovers.
25:51That never work.
25:52Who leave you high and dry.
25:54Now you're low and wet.
25:56The black walnuts are for cleansing the womb.
26:00Oh. Put them in.
26:01So put them right in the crotch hole.
26:03The final phase of the ritual experience.
26:07Oh, is that the love oil?
26:08Yeah.
26:09I got it out of your bag.
26:11Love oil?
26:12Yeah, to open the heart chakra.
26:14How much are you supposed to use?
26:16Just a little bit.
26:16Let's open it wide up.
26:19Hello? Who's here?
26:20Oh God.
26:24What is happening?
26:26We're doing a ritual.
26:27What?
26:30This doesn't look like anything good.
26:33Are we at the right spot?
26:35What is that smell?
26:39Okay.
26:40We went to a psychic,
26:41and she had given us some instructions.
26:43Okay.
26:44So this was a sexual energy cleansing.
26:46Come put your hand in this water.
26:47Sexual energy cleansing?
26:49Touch how cold this water is.
26:50But why are you in there together?
26:52He had to put walnuts in my womb.
26:56What?
26:57I'm leaving.
26:58Bye.
26:59Bye, everybody.
27:00No, no, no.
27:01Y'all can keep the pinwheels.
27:02No, I'm out.
27:05I'm not really sure what the we just walked into.
27:08There's like a lot of smells going on.
27:10I've never experienced a sexual ritual,
27:12but watching this now definitely makes me think
27:15that I certainly don't want one.
27:18I don't know what I just saw.
27:22What if this really works?
27:25What do you mean if it really works?
27:26Why did we do it if you did not feel confident?
27:28Oh, I believe in it.
27:29Okay.
27:30I do.
27:30Oh my God.
27:31Personally, I'm not sure I feel a whole lot different
27:35than I did when I first stepped into the tub.
27:37However, I don't know.
27:38Maybe I have not given the oils, herbs, and walnuts
27:42enough time to deeply penetrate the epidermis.
27:45So I think if I just wait,
27:47I might see what's been marinating.
27:50And hopefully once it's done,
27:52I will feel better whether I'm single
27:54or whether I'm partnered,
27:55but hopefully I can clear that space
27:57to invite new energy into my life.
28:00That was fun.
28:01I love you.
28:02It was very fun.
28:02I will meet you back shortly.
28:04All right.
28:07Is there something about me that is so wrong
28:10that people won't even give me a first date?
28:12It's not wrong, but you're intimidating.
28:14Why am I intimidating?
28:15Because I'm fat?
28:16Because I'm a heavyset lady?
28:17I mean, there's nothing wrong with you.
28:18You're definitely better now
28:20than what you were before, I'm assuming.
28:22You don't have any constructive criticism.
28:24Whitney is expecting some perfect love connection.
28:27She kind of needs to grow up.
28:43Look at Ollie's still hanging out up there.
28:46You know why?
28:47Because the food is right there.
28:48You know what's hilarious?
28:49Oh, hi guys.
28:50Hi.
28:51Nobody else is here, right?
28:52Okay, I can say this in front of all y'all.
28:53So, literally we just did the womb cleansing.
28:55Guess what just happened to me?
28:56What?
28:57I just got my period.
28:58Oh, did you really?
28:59Is this supposed to do that?
29:00I think it was.
29:02So you guys gonna start holding clinics
29:04here in the living room now?
29:05I invite all of you to undress
29:07and step into the living room.
29:08I thought you didn't tell.
29:10Why does that happen to me every time I go somewhere?
29:12That's what people say.
29:13Hey!
29:14What's up guys?
29:15Hi!
29:17I just spilled mozzarella water all over my arm.
29:20Oh no!
29:21Yes!
29:21I love mozzarella water.
29:23I have no idea what is going on tonight.
29:26Obviously, I didn't plan any of these activities,
29:28but I'm really okay, I think,
29:30with seeing where the night takes us.
29:32It's already started off pretty strange.
29:33I just don't want to get wet anymore.
29:39Thank you for being flexible
29:40and coming here instead of my house
29:42because we just did a very important cleansing ritual
29:45in the living room in a kiddie pool.
29:47So that's why we're here.
29:48Y'all go ahead and seriously,
29:49go ahead and look in the living room
29:50and see what we just did.
29:51You can probably still smell the incense.
29:52This is what I just came home to
29:53with towel and a G-string.
29:55Now I'm gonna show everyone what I've done.
29:58What were you guys doing?
29:59A whole sexual energy cleanse.
30:03Go on.
30:05Just like letting go of old dark energy.
30:09I've never heard of a sexual energy cleanse,
30:11but now that Whitney has one of these in her house,
30:14she should leave it here.
30:16Maybe use it once a week or so.
30:20Sweet girl.
30:22I love her.
30:23Watching babies fall asleep is the best.
30:25Yeah, she was a heavy drinker.
30:28Just like her daddy used to be.
30:31I used to be a heavy drinker,
30:32but not anymore for me either.
30:34Still half true.
30:37Still heavy.
30:38Todd.
30:39You're hot and heavy.
30:41As Todd admonishes me for being heavy
30:43while he hands me food, that's what it is.
30:45Using the word heavy in general,
30:46the southern way to call people.
30:49Big, which is a euphemism.
30:52When your dad called me.
30:53My dad.
30:53Say what your dad called me that time.
30:55What, your heavyweight friend?
30:56Was that what it was?
30:59I think my dad was really hoping
31:01we were gonna get married when I moved in here.
31:03He might've hoped that that heavyweight lady
31:04was gonna turn me.
31:05Didn't work.
31:07Yeah, here I am, still 40 and just, you know,
31:10still single.
31:11Are you still, you got any of these apps
31:13or anything like that?
31:14Y'all know I've been on the date apps for over 10 years.
31:18The most common thing.
31:19Big, just big.
31:20Then why don't you just eat?
31:22Squashing?
31:23No, sit on my face.
31:25Oh God, yeah.
31:27I don't need an advanced degree in psychology
31:30to understand why a man wants me to sit on his face.
31:33However, I do need a degree to understand
31:35why a man would think that this approach works.
31:39Like, I truly wanna know how many times
31:42have you opened with that line
31:44and you actually got your face sat on?
31:47Like, can somebody let me know
31:49because I cannot understand what men are doing.
31:52Oh, see, and that's the frustrating thing.
31:53It's not that I can't get the second date.
31:55I can't get the first, you know?
31:57So it's like, I don't know what I'm supposed to modify
31:59because it's not like I'm getting there
32:00and then getting turned down.
32:01Like, no one's giving me a chance.
32:03Is there something about me that is so wrong
32:06that people won't even give me a first date?
32:09You can tell me.
32:11It's not wrong, but you're intimidating.
32:14Why am I intimidating?
32:15Because I'm fat?
32:16Because I'm a heavyset lady?
32:16No, because you're so confident and smart
32:18and sexually charged.
32:26There's nothing wrong with you?
32:28He said, like, there's more to come.
32:29I mean, there's nothing wrong with you.
32:31You're definitely better now
32:32than what you were before, I'm assuming.
32:34I'm assuming you've grown as a person.
32:36Stop talking.
32:37Okay, you don't have any constructive criticism.
32:41Whitney's been a good friend to me,
32:43but she kind of needs to grow as a person.
32:47Like, I've changed as a person in 10 years,
32:50like, tremendously.
32:51I've really tried to.
32:53You know, I've gone out of my way.
32:54I've tried to do the hardest things to be a better person.
32:57And she kind of needs to grow up
32:59and realize what her options are.
33:03I think you need to take the pressure off.
33:06Be a little less picky.
33:08Stop anticipating that you meet your husband
33:10on the next date you go on.
33:12I don't.
33:12And just go on some fun dates.
33:14Okay, but I don't want to go on dates
33:18with people that I am, like, unattracted to
33:21for whatever reason.
33:22Then I'm settling.
33:23Like, I have to at least, like, find you someone.
33:25But here's the thing.
33:26Going on a date with somebody
33:27doesn't mean you're gonna marry them.
33:28That doesn't mean you're settling for anything.
33:30You're just going out and having a good time
33:31with somebody of the opposite sex.
33:33I think it's year 10 of the apps.
33:35It's time to try something different.
33:36Yeah, at least something different.
33:38I agree.
33:39I know I can't meet somebody sitting, you know,
33:41on my couch with y'all.
33:42You're gonna do the old-timey,
33:43the old-timey way their parents hook you up.
33:46Like a matchmaker.
33:48Do they still have those?
33:49Yeah, they have, like, professional ones who, like,
33:51it's like the gift.
33:52They have the gift.
33:53I just think you need to get out more.
33:55Like, you have to leave the house
33:56and get out into the world.
33:57I don't disagree with that.
33:58I don't disagree with that.
33:59But I just don't know where to go.
34:02Nobody's really telling the truth here.
34:04You know, I think, you know, Whitney is picky.
34:08She wants something that's kind of out of reach,
34:11and she wants everything to be lined up perfectly.
34:14That's not gonna help her get a man.
34:16You know, that's kind of, I think, a problem,
34:17is that she's expecting some perfect, elaborate,
34:21you know, love connection, and that just doesn't happen.
34:24I mean, if you can't look inwards
34:26and see what's wrong with yourself,
34:29I don't know if you're gonna be able to do that.
34:31I don't know if anyone's gonna be able to convince you.
34:33You know, everybody telling you
34:35that you're perfect all the time
34:36isn't gonna make you change.
34:40I'm sad that after all this time,
34:42like, I am still single, but it is wonderful
34:44to see y'all so happy, to have Kourtney in our lives,
34:46to have Allison in our lives, to have this baby.
34:49Like, it is really, I don't know.
34:51It is kind of hard to watch everybody, like, move on.
34:54You know?
34:56Gina said to let go of the past,
34:57so let go of the past and open yourself up
34:59to trying something you haven't tried before.
35:01Yeah.
35:04The frustrating thing about not getting
35:06something concrete from my friends
35:08about what is wrong with me
35:10is that if I don't have something concrete,
35:12that means that I can't fix it,
35:14and that actually makes me feel really disempowered.
35:16Like, the ball is always in everyone else's court.
35:19Like, I knew that they were gonna say, like,
35:21oh my God, you're perfect, you're just intimidating.
35:24Like, I've heard that a lot in life,
35:26and I was hoping to hear something else.
35:29When I met you, you were thin,
35:31and you had no problems attracting men.
35:33Size holds you back.
35:35Would you consider losing weight again?
35:39If there was something about me that I could change
35:41that would help me reach my goals,
35:44I would probably do it.
36:00The remnants of the ritual.
36:02Oh my gosh.
36:04Jessica and Isaiah sure got to see
36:06another side of me tonight.
36:07Ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah.
36:10Ah.
36:12I have to say, unexpected Friday evening, but.
36:16A lot of surprises.
36:18What did you have to think about what everybody said?
36:20Well, I'm, I'm missing out on a lot of things.
36:22I'm missing out on a lot of things.
36:24I'm missing out on a lot of things.
36:26I'm missing out on a lot of things.
36:27I'm missing out on a lot of things.
36:30Why?
36:30Because I was hoping somebody was gonna have something
36:33to tell me that I could fix.
36:35And instead I got just like, oh, you're too picky,
36:37or oh, you're like, whatever,
36:38but there's nothing wrong with you.
36:39I'm like, I need there to be something wrong with me,
36:42because if there's nothing wrong with me,
36:43then I can't fix it.
36:46It's funny to listen to my friends reassure me
36:49that nothing is wrong with me,
36:50because I knew that that's what they would say.
36:53But as for me, I can only sit alone in my house,
36:58getting no dates for so long,
37:00before I have to believe that there is something amiss.
37:06I really didn't wanna say this in front of everybody else,
37:09because I honestly don't know how you'll react.
37:12The one thing that you were always saying
37:15that holds you back romantically is your size.
37:19When I met you, you were thin
37:20and you had no problems attracting men.
37:23That's true.
37:25If there is something that you could change
37:28about yourself to make things easier for you,
37:31would you consider losing weight again?
37:35You've done it in the past.
37:37You had men falling all over you.
37:39You would light up a room
37:40and everybody was attracted to you.
37:41They still are, but size holds you back.
37:48Whitney can't get in front of a man,
37:50because she's so easily discounted.
37:52I mean, she is just dismissed so quickly.
37:54I have watched it happen over and over again.
37:57If there was something about me that I could change
37:59that would help me reach my goals, I would probably do it.
38:05And I know you have legitimate challenges.
38:07You sound like my dad.
38:09He gave me a talk years and years ago.
38:16He said, well, you know,
38:22when I met your mother, if she had been your size,
38:25I would have never looked at her twice.
38:29Yeah.
38:30And it killed me because I'm like, you know,
38:32my mother's looks were the last thing
38:33that my dad valued about my mother, you know?
38:35And he would have never known any of that.
38:38Like, if she just weren't thin, like.
38:44I don't want to have to feel like I've got a proof
38:46to my dad that a man can want me.
38:50But I truly don't think that my dad thinks it's possible.
38:56And that sucks.
39:00I'm crying because you're right.
39:02Like, it's true.
39:03I hate it.
39:04And this feeling of like,
39:05well, I could just like try harder.
39:07I could just like lose more weight.
39:14I'll say this.
39:15If I just kept losing weight again
39:17and didn't like spiral into an eating disorder and all that,
39:20would I be sad that I lost weight?
39:21Absolutely not.
39:22Do I think it would benefit my life in a lot of ways?
39:25Yes, it would.
39:26Unfortunately, I have the luxury
39:29of knowing what life was like when I was thin
39:33and when I was considered to be pretty.
39:35And when I had social currency in the form of my appearance,
39:39I spent my childhood, my teenage years, my adolescence,
39:42my formative years, and my young adulthood
39:45being a thin woman.
39:46I was prom queen, for God's sakes.
39:50The way that life changed for me when I became fat,
39:54quite literally almost overnight,
39:55I mean, within a couple months,
39:57it was like doing a social experiment
40:00where you put on a fat suit and you go out in public,
40:03except the fat suit was real and I couldn't take it off.
40:07Now I look at myself sometimes
40:09and I just think I'm so gross.
40:11You are not gross.
40:13But if I lost weight, I would just continue to get grosser.
40:16Like, I mean, where's all this skin gonna go?
40:18You know what I mean?
40:19And like being this age
40:20and then the whole thing just like overwhelms me.
40:22I just see you becoming more and more hopeless.
40:29I know there are things you want that you don't have,
40:31but please do not give up.
40:36We're just gonna be later in life, people.
40:40I never, if you would have asked me
40:44when I was in high school,
40:46can you imagine that you would be 40 and unmarried?
40:49Might've just ended it then.
40:51So I'm glad no one told me.
40:53Nobody could have paid me any amount of money
40:54for me to have foreseen the way that,
40:57honestly in any way, in the good ways and the bad ways,
40:59that my life would have gone this way.
41:00Look at everything else that's happened though.
41:03But it's like, what do you want the most?
41:04You know, when I come home,
41:06I want one person who can love me.
41:08I want unconditional love.
41:13It's not only about the men.
41:15It is the way that you become invisible to the entire world.
41:20It is the way that everything communicates to you
41:23that you are worth nothing now because you're fat.
41:27Have I done myself a disservice
41:30by doing what I thought was right,
41:32which was accepting myself and owning my fatness
41:36and repositioning it as, you know, not this horrible thing?
41:41Like, was all of that wrong?
41:48I'm over it, Tal.
41:49I'm just, I'm so over it.
41:58Oh God, I thought that was a person.
42:00Next time on My Big Fat Fabulous Life.
42:03Hi Whitney.
42:03Hi, how are you?
42:05I found a matchmaker because I am determined
42:08to find my husband in my fourth decade.
42:11Let me be honest, I don't leave the house.
42:13But Whitney, listen to yourself.
42:17The thing is, my dad wants to sell the house.
42:19So he doesn't know?
42:20No, no.
42:21But yeah, Glenthor is not allowed in the house.
42:23Okay.
42:24Are you almost done working on the garage?
42:25I have things going on that you don't need to know about.
42:28Hopefully I'll convince my dad not to sell this house.
42:31So I'm about to turn 40 and I decided
42:34I wanna do a big trip.
42:35We're all gonna go to Spain.
42:36Oh!