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00:00Toxic Crusaders
00:06I had no friends, no girls that hugged me
00:08So I got radioactive ugly
00:10Toxic Crusaders
00:15I live in a dump cause the rim's real long
00:17I don't let a bat climb in, it loves me so
00:20Toxic Crusaders
00:25Now me and the boys trying to get smoked
00:29Though we're hideously deformed
00:43Hey, I'm sitting on top of the world
00:48With my mom, tutu, and girl
00:51Wow!
00:52Toxic Crusaders
01:02It was a peaceful day at the Toxic Dump.
01:05We were all getting ready to go to the Tromobile Pier
01:08where Yvonne was scheduled to give a singing recital.
01:11We were all kind of nervous and high-strung.
01:14Let's see now, is it right over left or left over right
01:17or is that for a sheepshank half hitch?
01:20Are you sure you know how to tie a bow tie, Fender?
01:22No sweat, Fender.
01:24Before I got stuck with you, I was a total party animal.
01:29Sorry, Doc. I guess I lost my touch.
01:31Ever since I washed my helmet, I can't do a thing with it.
01:36I wish you people would quit hogging the mirror.
01:39I need time to make myself beautiful for Yvonne's recital.
01:43Forget it, Toxie's mom.
01:45We don't have till next St. Bernard's Day.
01:49Such times we're living in,
01:51when a dog can talk back to a superhero's mother.
01:54Speaking of the head Tox Man, where is the dead?
01:57He's the star of the show, Fungus Brain.
01:59He's allowed to make a grand entrance if he wants to.
02:04Hi, everyone. I came to let you wish me good luck with my concert.
02:08Sure, Yvonne. Break a leg.
02:11If you're lucky, they might replace you with a wheel, just like mine.
02:15Let's hear you test those angelic pipes of yours, honey.
02:19Doody, doody, doody, doody!
02:39I feel kind of funny wearing a tuxedo.
02:41But after all, how many times will my girlfriend Yvonne get a chance to sing in public?
02:46In her case, probably just once.
02:48Catafunga!
02:56What happened, No-Zone?
02:58Yvonne hit one of her high notes.
03:01That can really be a low note.
03:03Tell me about it.
03:06Meanwhile, on the Tromaville Bridge,
03:08something was about to happen that would affect all of our lives.
03:12You see, there was this racing car,
03:14driven by that world-famous race driver, Crash Shelby,
03:17on his way to the Tromaville Grand Prix.
03:20But the pre was not to be,
03:22because a moving van was on the bridge ahead of him.
03:24Yeah, honey, I'll stop at the diet drive-in on the way home.
03:28I guess the driver didn't notice the sign
03:31warning him not to throw banana peels on the bridge.
03:39No!
03:42It looked like Crash was about to break another speed record,
03:45along with his skull, when suddenly a strange thing happened.
03:49He landed in a fishing boat loaded with snails.
03:52It seems the combination of snail shells and engine oil
03:55created a weird chemical reaction,
03:59along with an even weirder kind of frostbred mutant.
04:02Oh, no!
04:03I've changed into some hideously deformed creature
04:06of superhuman size and strength!
04:08And I look like a snail.
04:10Oh, well, I might as well make the most of it.
04:14Under the circumstances, I think I'll call myself...
04:17Snail Man!
04:20Now all I need is a good battle cry.
04:23I've got it!
04:24Let's escort go!
04:29Meanwhile, on Island City,
04:31Sarge Soaster was paying Dr. Killamoff a visit.
04:34Well, Killamoff,
04:35what's the latest on my underwater aqua-filter project?
04:38Everything is going swimmingly, your starship.
04:42But now that it's completed,
04:44what will it be used for?
04:46I'll show you.
04:47But pay attention.
04:48There'll be a quiz later.
04:50We have developed a method of manufacturing
04:53that annoying plastic foam stuff that your VCR is packed in
04:57that you can never figure out how to get rid of.
04:59And we plan to pollute all of Dromaville with it,
05:02driving after citizens and populating the city
05:05with our own smuggling hordes.
05:08Bravo, Sarge Soaster!
05:11I love it!
05:12Like you had some kind of choice?
05:14Now, I'll need some men for a special assignment.
05:17I have just the people, your high and mightiness.
05:20Bonehead!
05:21Psycho!
05:22I was afraid you'd say that.
05:25An all-the-while snail man was trying to adjust
05:28to his new life as a mollusk.
05:30Look, Harry, a guy who's half racing car and half snail.
05:34Yeah, you don't know whether to step on the gas
05:37or to step on him.
05:39Ha-ha-ha!
05:41Yeah.
05:42People can be so cruel.
05:45I must find a way to bring dignity and respect to my life.
05:49There's the answer, a plumber's helper's plant.
05:53This is it,
05:54the place where I'll carve out a new life for myself.
05:58No longer will anyone dare make fun of...
06:01Snail man!
06:04Snail man!
06:07It is kind of a catchy tune.
06:09Here they are, your czar ship,
06:11the perfect volunteers for your special assignment.
06:14You'd better be right, Kilimoff.
06:16Listen, you mutant misfits,
06:18in order for the aqua filter
06:20to create its plastic foam pollution,
06:22it needs filth and lots of it.
06:25Filth?
06:26You know, dirt, gunk, schmutz.
06:29Sure, boss, schmutz is our specialty.
06:32The problem is those blasted toxic crusaders.
06:35We keep dirtying Tromaville and they keep cleaning it up.
06:39Yeah, they got this real hang-up about pollution.
06:42That's why I want you and the radiation rangers
06:45to invade the toxic dump
06:47and bring back every scrap of filth you can lay your hands on.
06:51Do you think you can handle it?
06:53No sweat, czar old buddy.
06:55Bonehead knows dirt.
06:58While all this was happening,
07:00Snail man was practicing hour after hour,
07:03learning everything there is to know
07:05about handling a plumber's helper.
07:07With his newfound skill,
07:09Snail man was now ready to face the world.
07:12Back at the dump, we were finally dressed
07:15and on the way to Yvonne's concert
07:17when a strange vehicle pulled up at our shack.
07:20Oh, Toxie, you rented us a limousine.
07:24So what did you expect?
07:27My little Toxie is a limo kind of guy.
07:30Uh-oh, Tromaton alert.
07:33What is it, Toxie?
07:35It's when my Tromatons are telling me
07:37we're in the presence of some evil danger.
07:40No, dude, Bender means what kind of danger?
07:43Heck, whatever it is, us Toxic Crusaders can handle it.
07:47No, Junkyard, don't open that door!
07:51Ahh! Radiation rangers!
08:00And now, these messages.
08:04We now return to the Toxic Crusaders.
08:10As we watched, dozens and dozens of radiation rangers
08:14kept climbing out of the limousine.
08:16Oh, wow, how neat.
08:18I think I once saw this in a circus.
08:20I think I once saw you in a circus.
08:23Let him start something. We're ready for him.
08:26Wait, wait, wait, wait, wait.
08:29Let him start something. We're ready for him.
08:32Wait, Crusaders, you can't fight them.
08:35Why not, Toxies, Mom? You think there's too many of them?
08:39Did we suddenly lose our superpowers?
08:41Is the episode over?
08:43No, you can't fight them
08:45because you're wearing your best clothes.
08:47It's okay, Mom, they're rented.
08:50Oh, well, in that case, get down and dirty.
09:00The battle wasn't going too well,
09:02and the bad guys, namely Psycho and Bonehead, knew it.
09:06We got the Toxic Crusaders right where we want them.
09:09Yeah, down in the dumps.
09:11Okay, radiation rangers, charge!
09:15Like I said, things were going badly for us,
09:18especially for Mom, when suddenly...
09:24That music sounds awful.
09:27That music sounds awfully familiar.
09:30Maybe this is a rerun.
09:32Don't worry, Snail Man will help you fight these bad guys.
09:38Snail Man? Where'd he come from?
09:41Tromaville River.
09:43It seems the combination of snail shells and engine oil
09:46created a weird chemical reaction.
09:48Now that part I know I heard before.
09:50I bet he's great to play fetch with.
09:52He never loses the ball.
09:54Don't just stand there, you metal morons!
09:57Blast that creep!
09:59Pardon my back.
10:01Stop! Cut it out! Quit it!
10:04I believe cease-fire is the phrase he's searching for.
10:07Oh, right. Cease-fire!
10:10Why can't we get to fight some normal human beings?
10:14Who'd ever watch a show like that?
10:16Ew, radical.
10:18The dude's shell is harder than... than...
10:20I believe my head is the phrase you're searching for.
10:23Oh, right. Harder than your head.
10:25It's time to slime!
10:31Wow, the guy's got super snail slime sludge, too.
10:35I'm impressed.
10:37And I'm impressed that you could pronounce it.
10:39Personally, this has been one of the more embarrassing episodes for me.
10:43Who was that thing with the plungers?
10:45I don't know.
10:47But the last thing this show needs
10:49is another hideously deformed creature of superhuman size and strength.
10:53Killamoth, I'm losing my gentle disposition.
10:56Bonehead and Psycho have failed.
10:58As if I didn't expect it.
11:00Now, where are we going to get filth for my aqua filter?
11:03Never fear your bug ship.
11:05I just had a brilliant idea.
11:07The moment the Tromaville garbage barge
11:09passes directly over our underwater sludge quarters,
11:12I'll torpedo it.
11:14That will give us all the trash we'll need.
11:17Are you certain it will work, Killamoth?
11:19You have my word as a doctor on it.
11:23It turned out that there were still a few hours left on the limo
11:26the Radiation Rangers had rented for the attack on us,
11:29so we decided to drive it to Yvonne's recital.
11:32And I fell off the bridge and onto that barge,
11:35and that's how I became Snailman.
11:37The casual ride gave us a chance
11:39to get acquainted with our new friend, Snailman.
11:42Faster, Toxies, Mom, faster!
11:44I live for speed!
11:46Fine words coming from a snail!
11:53Whoa! Way to go, Toxies, Mom!
11:56Florence!
11:57I hope everyone has his, her, or its seatbelt on.
12:00Say, Snailman,
12:02you're a hideously deformed creature
12:04of superhuman size and strength
12:06who also had an environmental accident.
12:08Why not become a Toxic Crusader?
12:10Move in with us here at our beautiful dump.
12:13Righteous notion, Nozo.
12:15Yeah, and your super suction plungers
12:18would sure be helpful with our toxic plumbing problems.
12:21It's a mighty tempting offer, guys,
12:23but since my mutation,
12:25I'm strictly a creature of H2O.
12:28Okay, everyone, we're here!
12:30What perfect timing!
12:32The ride gave us just enough time
12:34to learn a little of Snailman's backstory.
12:36Somehow, we made it safely to the end of the pier.
12:39It was kind of sad saying goodbye
12:41to our new friend, Snailman.
12:43Sure you won't change your mind, Snailman?
12:45We could build you your own toxic wading pool.
12:48Thanks, Crusaders,
12:50but my place is with other underwater creatures like myself.
12:54See you around!
12:59Now there's a fellow who knows how to make a splash.
13:02Meanwhile, deep below the Tromaville Harbor,
13:05Dr. Killimoff's evil plan was being put into action.
13:08As for those containers the Radiation Rangers are setting up,
13:11I have no idea what they're for.
13:13You'll find out soon enough, my fine toxic twerp!
13:17Psycho! Bonehead!
13:19Prepare the sludge-pedos for firing!
13:21It's garbage time!
13:25Step right up, culture lovers,
13:28and have your dollar bills ready.
13:30Remember, all money collected from this concert
13:33goes to a very good end.
13:35This is Yvonne's first music recital.
13:38I hope she's not nervous.
13:40She'll be fine, No-Zone. Mom's backstage with her.
13:43Now, remember to dance around, sweetie.
13:46You want to be a moving target
13:48when all those vegetables come flying in.
13:51And believe me, they will.
13:53Oh, Toxie's mom, you're such a comfort.
13:55Oh, honey.
13:57Now, go out there and knock them dead!
14:01But at that very moment,
14:03Killimoff was starting the countdown
14:05for the smuggling sludge-pedo.
14:079, 8, 7, 6!
14:10And what comes before 6?
14:123? Or is it 12?
14:14Don't ask me. You're the scholar of the group.
14:17It's 5, you dipstick!
14:19Oh, yeah! 5, 4, 3, fire sludge-pedo!
14:23Close enough.
14:33And now, these messages.
14:38When we last saw Dr. Killimoff's sludge-pedo,
14:41it was headed straight for the Tromoville garbage barge.
14:44It was all part of Zar Zoster's plan
14:46to smother Tromoville with that white plastic foam stuff
14:49that VCRs come packed in and no one knows how to get rid of.
14:52I know this is a lot of recapping,
14:54but you kind of forget the story when you see it.
14:57I'm sure you do.
14:59I'm sure you do.
15:01I'm sure you do.
15:03I'm sure you do.
15:05I know this is a lot of recapping,
15:07but you kind of forget the story
15:09when you stop for a bunch of commercials.
15:11Meanwhile, the lovely Yvonne
15:13was about to make her public singing debut.
15:15I don't want to brag,
15:17but anyone who was anyone was there.
15:19It was the social event of the season,
15:21which gives you an idea of the social life in Tromoville.
15:24Finally, the big moment arrived.
15:26Ahem!
15:28Hi, I'd like to start my recital
15:30with an original song I just made up,
15:33and it goes something like this.
15:35Oh, I wrote this little song,
15:37and if you want to sing along,
15:39I'd love to let you,
15:41but you really shouldn't try.
15:44You could hurt yourself
15:45by singing way too high.
15:52-♪♪♪
16:00Oh, man.
16:02What an awesome note.
16:04Suddenly, I found myself having
16:06another full-fledged Tromaton attack.
16:08Look, Thanos.
16:09Tox is having another
16:11full-fledged Tromaton attack.
16:13And, like, he's added some new moves.
16:15Yeah, go, Tox Man, go.
16:18What is it, Toxie?
16:20It wasn't Yvonne's singing
16:21that caused the garbage barge to blow up.
16:23It was something evil out there in the water.
16:26Lloyd, look.
16:28The Tromaville garbage barge
16:29is licking refuse into our harbor.
16:32Oh, this is awful.
16:34Fellas, this looks like a job
16:36for the Toxic Crusaders.
16:38It's freedom time!
16:41Stop!
16:43How many times must I tell you?
16:45You've got to wait at least 15 minutes
16:48after eating before going into the water
16:50to fight bad guys.
16:52Aw, come on.
16:55No, sorry, sorry.
16:57Those are the rules.
16:59While we were waiting to digest our peanuts,
17:02Dr. Killamoff was carrying out his evil scheme.
17:05Zar Zoster, this is an historic moment.
17:09Just watch as the Tromaville garbage
17:11is sucked into the aqua filter sludge quarters
17:15by way of our specially constructed filth funnel.
17:18And now my hateful Radiation Rangers
17:21use the latest technology
17:23to transmogify the garbage
17:25into that white plastic foam stuff.
17:28Please, Mom.
17:30You've got to let us swim out to that garbage barge.
17:33Dr. Killamoff is planning to smother Tromaville
17:35in that white plastic foam stuff.
17:37Yeah, yeah, I heard the voiceover.
17:39But I've got a better idea.
17:41Look!
17:42The Toxic Wing?
17:44Yeah.
17:45I asked the ladies from my Mahjong club
17:47to fly it over.
17:49Now are you happy?
17:50Happy?
17:51If you weren't my mom, I'd kiss you.
17:54Meanwhile, Dr. Killamoff himself
17:56came down to the garbage barge
17:58to supervise the operation.
18:00Yuck.
18:01I'm not getting paid enough to work with garbage.
18:03Yay!
18:04I resemble that remark.
18:09It looks like my plan is a huge success.
18:13Soon we'll have enough garbage
18:15to filthify all of Tromaville.
18:17Unless the Toxic Crusaders come flying out here
18:20on one of Bender's whacked-out inventions.
18:23Tycho, I'm going to forget you ever said that.
18:27Said what?
18:28See, boss?
18:29I forgot it also.
18:30Good.
18:31Now hurry with that filthifying process.
18:37Whoa!
18:38Slow down, man.
18:40I think I'm gonna be airsick.
18:42Not in my doggy bag, you won't.
18:44Target sighted.
18:45Nozone, prepare to land.
18:47And all that garbage?
18:49With my allergies?
18:50No way, Major Disaster.
18:52Seaweed and kelp.
18:53Give us some help.
19:01Oh, wow.
19:02Dynamite trick, Mr. Major Man.
19:05Yeah, sometimes I even amaze myself.
19:08Come on, fellows, let's shake a leg.
19:10I sure had lots of practice doing that.
19:13Look, boss.
19:14It's the Toxic Crusaders
19:16and they're flying on one of Bender's whacked-out inventions.
19:19Notice I'm not saying a word.
19:21Well, don't just stand there, you cretins.
19:24Fight them all.
19:25Radiation Rangers, hit the deck.
19:29Enemy troops at 3 o'clock.
19:31It's only 1130.
19:32Maybe we ought to come back later.
19:35This is the part I really dig.
19:39Attention, Seaweed.
19:40You know what we need.
19:44What do you say, Mop?
19:45Shall we swab a few slobs?
19:48Cygo, Bonehead.
19:49You two stay and defend the garbage barge at all costs.
19:52If you need me, I'll be in my impenetrable bunker
19:5560 feet below the ground.
19:57Now, where have I heard that before?
19:59But suddenly, the tide of battle turned against us.
20:02The Radiation Rangers were getting the upper hand.
20:05While back on the pier,
20:06Mayor Grody was cashing in on the big battle.
20:09Get your binoculars, folks.
20:11You can't see the bloodshed without a binocular.
20:14It looked like the end of the Toxic Crusaders
20:17when suddenly...
20:19was Snail Man coming to my rescue.
20:25Snail Man, am I glad to see you.
20:29Wow, you snails really know how to slug.
20:34That's nothing.
20:35Watch this.
20:40Thanks, Snail Man, for everything.
20:43Hey, us hideously deformed creatures
20:45of superhuman size and strength
20:47have to stick together.
20:49Ooh, yeah, I see what you mean.
20:52But wait, my job here isn't finished yet.
20:56I gotta remove this garbage maker
20:59from my new underwater domain.
21:02Besides polluting the harbor,
21:04it's bringing down real estate value.
21:07This will take all of my 240 horsepower.
21:14Ooh, there.
21:16Now to dump this thing where it belongs,
21:19on the shores of Island City.
21:23As usual, Killamoff got chewed out by Zarzoster.
21:27Killamoff, you screwed up again.
21:29You'll pay dearly for this.
21:32In that case, there's only one thing left to do.
21:36Bonehead, Psycho, you screwed up again.
21:39You'll pay dearly for this.
21:41Okay, boss, how much is it this time?
21:44Let's see, there's $50 for shame and degradation,
21:48another $50 for pain and humiliation,
21:50and $75 for distress and aggravation.
21:54Yay!
21:59Thank you, faithful citizens of Tromaville.
22:02But the cheers aren't necessary.
22:04Though they are kind of nice.
22:06It was our job to make Tromaville safe
22:09and free from environmental hazards.
22:11And now...
22:12Shh!
22:13Now that the threat to Tromaville was taken care of,
22:16we could continue with Yvonne's concert.
22:18Ahem.
22:20As I was singing before I was interrupted.
22:23Oh, I wrote this little song
22:26And if you wanna sing along
22:28I'd love to let you
22:30But you really shouldn't try
22:34You could hurt yourself
22:36By singing way too loud
22:50Sorry about your TV sets, folks.
22:52We'll try and get them repaired
22:54before the next episode of
22:56The Toxic Crusaders!
23:04This is a song that I wrote
23:06for my wife, Yvonne.
23:09It's called
23:11The Toxic Crusaders.
23:14And I wrote it for her
23:16because she's a great singer.
23:19And I love her.
23:21And I love you, Yvonne.
23:24And I love you.
23:26And I love you.
23:28And I love you.
23:30And I love you.
23:32And I love you.