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TVTranscript
00:00A little boy named Presley found a secret out this year, that he was once a pharaoh
00:19when Egyptians ruled the world.
00:20The world's an abyss, full of birds they'd scare, trying to get up day and night.
00:23But Presley has one guard who's to protect his very life.
00:26He has the Muppets!
00:27From 1525 B.C.
00:29He has the Muppets!
00:30Protected from the funeral prophecies.
00:32He has the Muppets!
00:33Who's there, acted by the Frisco Fetis.
00:35He has the Muppets!
00:36Protected from the world today.
00:46He has the Muppets!
00:47From 1525 B.C.
00:49He has the Muppets!
00:50Protected from the funeral prophecies.
00:52He has the Muppets!
00:53Who's there, acted by the Western gays.
00:55He has the Muppets!
00:56They're gonna save the world today.
00:58The Egyptians wait upon his alive.
01:11Is it soup yet?
01:13You tell me.
01:20It tastes like the water in an elephant's muddy footprint.
01:23Then it's ready.
01:26New amulet?
01:27It glashes with the robe.
01:29It is doom for Jekal.
01:31It will feed on the life force of Jekal, draining his power and turning him into a dry lifeless.
01:37Mummy?
01:38Egg sack.
01:40I'll plant it on him secretly, hidden in his bandages.
01:43What a brilliant plan, Scarab.
01:45I'd applaud you.
01:46If I had hands, that is.
01:48Akka, that's it.
01:50Uh-oh.
01:51Why deliver this myself, when I can have one of my minions give me a hand?
01:57You're about to do something creepy, aren't you?
02:03That's so gross.
02:08You know you really should do something about those nails.
02:14Deliver this to Jekal, my pet.
02:17Now we just need to create a little distraction.
02:34That was some body slam.
02:37No.
02:38Gib the Earth Spirit must be angry again.
02:43I could beat that wrestler.
02:46Are you sure?
02:48No contest.
02:50He's only this tall.
02:52We interrupt our regular programming with a special bulletin.
02:55Police are responding to a reported explosion at the Bay Area Museum.
03:02Right on schedule.
03:04Um, uh...
03:06All right, you, uh...
03:07Hands up!
03:09Way to strike fear in their hearts, Joe.
03:12My hands are the least of your worries.
03:17What a stiff.
03:20Scarab.
03:22Jekal.
03:24Also right on schedule.
03:26With the strength of law!
03:46Let's kick time.
04:17Scarab's bugging out.
04:19Yes, but he left his friends behind.
04:46No!
04:49Thanks, Armon.
04:51Hey, don't mention it.
04:53Any way I can lend a hand.
04:55Hey, what in Ra's?
05:00I could have sworn I felt something.
05:02Nah, I guess it was nothing.
05:08Butterfingers, must I do everything?
05:12If you can't count on your own spirit, who can you trust?
05:16Look on the bright side.
05:18At least the amulet was planted on one of the mummies.
05:22Two.
05:24One less mummy to deal with.
05:26But Armon is strong.
05:28I hope it won't take too long to drain his strength.
05:33See? It's easy.
05:35Easy for you to say.
05:37You're not the one with a mouthful of carpet.
05:39But the floor is stone.
05:41Never mind, it would take too long to explain.
05:44Let's just try it again.
05:46Are you sure?
05:47Even a gypsy can't make up for my advantage of strength.
05:51Let's just get this over with.
05:57Hey, I did it!
05:59You're making excellent progress.
06:03That is enough for today.
06:05The lesson is over.
06:08Ooh, sore loser, mighty Armon.
06:11Perhaps he's cheated.
06:13He didn't make the proper move.
06:15I should not have been thrown.
06:17I'm just...
06:19tired.
06:21Tired? Since when do you get tired?
06:27How about something to eat?
06:29I'm not hungry.
06:31There's another first.
06:34It's the world championship no-holds-barred
06:37toughest gladiator in the universe competition.
06:40Do you want everyone to know how tough you are?
06:42Do you have something to prove?
06:44Do yourself.
06:54Is this the world's toughest gladiator contest?
06:58Fill out this entry form.
07:00Who are you? The mummy?
07:02I am one of them.
07:04Sorry, no tag teams.
07:06Sign here.
07:10I'd work on that handwriting if I were you.
07:20Here they are!
07:22The toughest gladiators in the universe!
07:24And tonight we decide who's number one!
07:27There's still slots open, so come on down and sign up!
07:31Armon, torn limb from limb on live TV.
07:35That would be something to see.
07:38But even with the amulet draining his strength,
07:40can these puny modern warriors manage it?
07:43Show the world what you're made of!
07:46Made of?
07:48Yes.
07:49And that gives me an idea.
08:01Bronze is your flesh,
08:03and molten bronze flows through you.
08:06Spirit of Talos,
08:08man of bronze,
08:10I summon you.
08:13Why do you summon me, little man?
08:16A contest is being held to judge who is the world's mightiest warrior.
08:22No one is mightier than Talos.
08:24Somehow I thought you'd say that.
08:32TALOS
08:45I have to go in there?
08:53I've come for the contest.
08:55You just made the deadline.
08:57The contest starts in an hour.
08:59Nice tan.
09:01I am bronze.
09:03I'll say.
09:07Hey! Armon! Armon!
09:10Hey, guys. Where's Armon?
09:13It's time for my gypsy lesson.
09:16He's resting in his sarcophagus.
09:18Even the lion must sleep.
09:20More like a bat. He's been in there all day.
09:23I think something's wrong.
09:25It's not like Armon to sleep all day.
09:27Nefertina's right.
09:29First Rhapses beats him into gypsu.
09:31Then he won't eat.
09:33And he sleeps all day.
09:35Something is wrong.
09:46Empty?
09:48Well, sort of.
09:49Where could he be?
09:51Perhaps we should consult the magic box.
09:54It may show us.
09:57You still don't get it.
09:59The TV doesn't show everybody in the world.
10:05They're just TV shows with actors and...
10:09Perhaps it's you who doesn't understand the magic box.
10:13He's old. He's dusty. He's wrapped in gauze.
10:16It's the Mother!
10:21He's big. He's mean.
10:23He's so scary that he has to wear a mask.
10:26It's the Masked Destroyer!
10:45Way to go, Armon!
10:47Toss him into the gypsies!
10:49Looks like the mummy's in trouble!
10:56He'll need those bandages when the Destroyer gets through with him.
11:00I once saw Armon lift a cow over his head effortlessly.
11:04And carry it into the kitchen.
11:10And it looks like the Destroyer's setting up for a...
11:14MUMMY SLAM!
11:27MUMMY! MUMMY! MUMMY!
11:38Wow!
11:46I think we should get down to the arena.
11:48Armon may need us.
11:50The hunter stalks the lion for his own reasons.
11:53Lion? What lion?
11:55Armon is trying to prove to himself that he is still a great fighter.
11:58Our help would destroy his confidence.
12:00Maybe you're right.
12:02How much danger can Armon be in?
12:04He's just fighting ordinary people.
12:06And we're back for our next round of competition.
12:10This guy's house is really something!
12:16Who is he?
12:18What?
12:22When they made him, they broke the mold!
12:30It looks like the mummy is slowing down!
12:33He's slowing down!
12:47Gotta end this fight.
12:49So tired.
12:59What a move!
13:01The mummy wins again!
13:12My eyes!
13:31I didn't fear a thing!
14:02No!
14:09And it's another win for the mummy!
14:13The only thing standing between him and the championship is Talos, the man of bronze!
14:20The amulet is working.
14:22Armon's strength is almost gone. He's weak as a kitten.
14:27That's right, it's time to go to the arena and watch Talos crush Armon into a pile of rags.
14:38This is it! The final match! The fight to decide the world's toughest gladiator!
14:46First up, he's tough, he's crafty, he ails from Egypt, the mummy!
14:55Huh?
14:58Mummy?
15:00Down here!
15:10Jakal! We gotta do something!
15:12Perhaps you're right.
15:14And the challenger, weighing in at 500 pounds before the tail broke, the man of bronze, Talos!
15:24Even for a wrestler, that guy doesn't look real.
15:27Somehow, I have a feeling that Scarab is behind this.
15:31Then we've gotta save Armon!
15:44Sorry, show's sold out.
15:46Not for me.
15:55Get up and fight!
15:57That is easy for you to say.
15:59So you give up then?
16:01No, I've never surrendered in my life.
16:07Well, I admire your spirit.
16:09Does that mean you want to be my friend?
16:12No.
16:25No!
16:31Looks like Scarab beat us here!
16:36Well, feeling a little run down, Armon?
16:39Not so tough now, are you?
16:41Leave him! He's mine!
16:43The contest is not over until I have destroyed him!
16:47Interfere and I will destroy you too!
16:50Amat, devour Armon!
16:52While I attend to this ingrater lesson, turn on me, will you?
16:57I may be what you are.
16:59Go ahead, take your best shot.
17:03I love it when they ask for it.
17:07No!
17:18No more free lunch, mutt!
17:29Are you okay, Armon?
17:30Tired.
17:33Very tired.
17:36With the strength of Ra!
18:07Looks like a grudge match!
18:11I can destroy you all!
18:15Ignore him.
18:22He's going to be hard to ignore.
18:26For once, Ra, I have to agree.
18:34We should retreat. We have nothing to gain by fighting Talos.
18:38Somehow, I doubt he's going to go away on his own.
18:43Bring on the world!
18:45Let's go!
18:47Talos!
18:48Somehow, I doubt he's going to go away on his own.
18:53Bring on the world!
18:55Nothing can defeat me!
19:00We must stop him before he flattens the city!
19:03All right! Let's kick some giant bronze tut!
19:17No!
19:22The plug!
19:27It won't budge!
19:30Give up, weakling!
19:38You miserable insects! I'll crush you like bugs!
19:44My strength! It is back!
19:47Your tut is mine now, Talos!
19:50With the strength of Ra!
19:59How about a rematch, Talos?
20:08Winner take all!
20:14Armon! The plug in his heel! It's your only chance!
20:21Okay, Talos! Time we pulled your...
20:32He wasn't so tough.
20:34Armon, we must go.
20:36But I won! Don't I get a trophy?
20:39You have your self-respect. What more could a person need?
20:42A trophy would be nice.
20:44Why don't we hit a drive-thru and buy you dinner?
20:46Great! I gotta keep my strength up!
20:50To be continued...
21:20To be continued...
21:50To be continued...
22:20To be continued...
22:50To be continued...
23:06To be continued...
23:09To be continued...
23:19Come on! Open up! Please?
23:23All right!
23:29Hey, guys! I'm...
23:31Here?
23:32Presley! It's you!
23:34My apologies, O Prince.
23:36No, no. My fault. I guess I should have knocked or something.
23:39This new life is requiring some adjustments.
23:42That's okay. It's not every day a guy wakes up and finds out he's a mummy.
23:46Hey, Wrath! That key you gave me worked great!
23:49It's not a key. It's an Eye of Ra amulet.
23:52And it may be all that stands between you and the beast, Scarab.
23:56Whoa! It's glowing!
23:58I've charged this one with special energies found in this scroll the Pharaoh left us.
24:03It should blur you from his sight for a while.
24:06Wrath, can you hurry it up a little?
24:10And help us keep an eye on you.
24:16Why doesn't he just look me up in the phone book?
24:18He knows you as Rapses, not as Presley Carnarvon.
24:22And since there isn't a listing for Rapses in the phone book...
24:25Then you should be safe.
24:27Hey, Presley! Did you bring the Mr. Beefy burgers?
24:30I got four of them. One for each of you.
24:34Never mind. You know, they'd taste better if you took the wrappings off before eating them.
24:39Really?
24:41Armand, that's not what I meant.
24:43Wow! You've really made some changes around here.
24:47I'm ready to test the launching ramp.
24:53Greetings, Presley. Time to rinse and repeat.
24:56That's rock and roll.
24:58Whatever.
25:04Nefertina!
25:08Nefertina, are you all right?
25:11Ugh, do it again!
25:14This cannot be happening to me.
25:16The magic of the Pharaoh's shields that accursed brat.
25:20I cannot bring him to me.
25:24Thirty-five hundred years stuck in a tomb, and now this.
25:28I tell you, it's a living nightmare.
25:31A living nightmare.
25:33Hacker, that's it.
25:36No, that's not it. Not a living nightmare. Way too dangerous.
25:42Scarab, stop!
25:44Scarab, this would be a good time to wake up. Real good.
25:54Let me compliment you on your timing.
25:57I have captured a dream, Hacker. A real living nightmare.
26:04Now all I have to do is find a way to give this dream to Rapses.
26:09And then the boy will be mine.
26:16Huh? Oh, no.
26:19Guys, you gotta hurry.
26:21There are bulldozers outside, and they're gonna...
26:24Do that.
26:25Protect the prince. I will handle these dozing bulls.
26:50Huh?
26:58That was epic. How did you do that?
27:01I am not exactly sure myself. Raph, what happened to me?
27:06It's, um... It's far too complicated to explain right now.
27:10He does not know either.
27:12I heard that.
27:14We are ready for the next assault, but where are the bulls?
27:17Bulldozers? These machines? The museum must have decided to tear down the Sphinx.
27:22Just give me room enough to swing.
27:24No, not that way. They'll just send more.
27:27But I know a way we might save the Sphinx.
27:29This just in. Protesters dressed in Egyptian mummy costumes are picketing the Bay Area Art Museum,
27:35demanding that the Sphinx be allowed to remain permanently.
27:39Hey, look. It's Rapses.
27:41What? Where?
27:43Right there.
27:45I can see all those accursed mummies.
27:48Well, Rapses is right there with them.
27:50Well, since I cannot yet see Rapses, I'll need to send another to deliver my living nightmare.
28:07My shadow is the perfect messenger.
28:16This is so creepy.
28:18Save the Sphinx! Save the Sphinx! Save the Sphinx! Save the Sphinx!
28:25We attack them with these wooden standards?
28:28It's called a sign, and you carry it, not hit with it.
28:31What a strange way to fight.
28:33Trust me.
28:34Yes, Mr. Mayor. The protesters will be removed immediately.
28:39No one disrupts my museum. Consider it done.
28:42Here. Don't make them mad.
28:44Me?
28:45Save the Sphinx! Save the Sphinx! Save the Sphinx!
28:50People, protesting like this won't get you what you want.
28:55The Sphinx was never supposed to be permanent.
28:58Ra is angry.
29:00Yeah, well, that makes two of us.
29:02Jerry, what happened to those lights?
29:10Ow! I think I got stung by a bee.
29:14You know, guys, it's way past my bedtime.
29:22Presley, honey, I'm sorry I'm late, but there was this protest at the museum and I...
29:38I just had the weirdest dream.
29:43Oh, well.
29:47There's no place like home.
29:55Wake up, Presley. Time to get up.
30:14Presley, you've been staying up way too late, honey. You look tired.
30:21When will Father return from Nubia?
30:26Nubia?
30:28Yes, my queen.
30:31The pharaoh regrets that his campaign in Nubia keeps him from your sight.
30:37Thank you, Scarab. That will be all.
30:39As always, I am your humble servant.
30:46I hate that guy.
30:48Rapses, Scarab is the pharaoh's most trusted advisor.
30:51You must show him the respect a governor deserves.
30:54That doesn't mean I have to like him.
30:57Mother, can I go see Father?
30:59I know you miss him, dear, but you must carry on with your studies.
31:03Aw, do I have to?
31:05A pharaoh must be master of many skills.
31:08You want to be ready, don't you?
31:10Now hurry up, you'll be late for the bus.
31:19Presley!
31:21Hey, wait!
31:23Wait!
31:24You gonna sit with my sister?
31:30I know that you are a girl, what did you say?
31:32I know that you're just pretending to be a boy.
31:34It's against the law for girls to drive chariots.
31:37But don't worry, I'll keep it a secret.
31:39If you let me drive.
31:41You are not ready, my prince. Your father would never allow it.
31:44He won't let you drive either if he finds out you're a girl.
31:53See, I do too know how to drive.
31:57Can it go any faster?
32:02What are you doing?
32:03Faster! Faster!
32:07But Nefer let me drive and...
32:08Drive?
32:10By the wings of Horus, you should be learning to write.
32:13The lessons I teach you will endure forever.
32:16Like the pyramids.
32:18They sure seem to.
32:28Arise, O Prince of Egypt!
32:32You are sleeping like a crocodile.
32:35Now, back to your studies.
32:40I was having that dream again.
32:42Of a strange place filled with horseless chariots and buildings made of glass.
32:47This is no time for such fantasies.
32:49I am trying to teach you science.
32:52Now, do you want to learn how to change a staff into a snake or don't you?
32:58Oh, all right.
32:59Now, repeat after me.
33:02One of the most common elements...
33:04May this wooden staff be like...
33:07Be like the sacred serpent that coils around the golden disk of Ra.
33:12May this...
33:13You have something you wish to share with us, Mr. Carnoban?
33:19Get off me!
33:23The Pharaoh wishes you to become a great warrior, my Prince.
33:27Today you learn how to fight unarmed.
33:30Uh, I mean without weapons.
33:33Now, assume this position.
33:40Hey, huh?
33:41What's that supposed to be?
33:42Jerk head?
33:43Karate?
33:44It's called Egyptian.
33:46Ooh, I'm so scared.
33:52Let me out of here!
33:58Very good, my Prince.
34:00I think you are getting the feel of this.
34:05Perhaps, my Prince, if you're done pummeling Armon,
34:08you would like to test your skills as a hunter.
34:10Just let me get my clothes, Jekal.
34:15Ratsies?
34:16Jekal?
34:17Anybody?
34:27Hey!
34:28Oh, it's just you, Scarab.
34:30Come with me at once, my Prince.
34:32I am going hunting with Jekal.
34:34Mighty Pharaoh has returned from Nubia to meet with you in secret.
34:39He awaits in the desert of the Western Nile.
34:43I must tell Jekal where I am going.
34:45Your guardians cannot be trusted, especially Jekal.
34:49There is a conspiracy in the palace.
34:51That's why your father needs your help.
34:58Here, take this.
34:59You'll be hungry later.
35:01Tia, you are too good to me.
35:03What's this?
35:04Your son insisted on helping me with the ink making.
35:12You are both too good to me.
35:14Someone needs to be.
35:16You take care of everyone, except yourself.
35:19The Pharaoh is absent so often.
35:21Young Ratsies needs our guidance, like our dear Padjet.
35:25Jekal! Where is Ratsies?
35:27Didn't he leave with you for the hunt?
35:29He went to get his clothes.
35:31I shall get the other guardians.
35:32We will find him. I swear it.
35:34Don't worry. I'll return soon, my love.
35:56Fear not, young prince.
35:58Your travels are nearly at an end.
36:26I can see him, Hecker.
36:29He's close enough for me to truly see him.
36:33Wrath, I need your help.
36:35Presley hasn't returned from school yet.
36:37This will seek out Presley's amulet.
36:40How can we make our way safely through this strange new world without Ratsies?
36:44Uh, Presley?
36:45Our prince said as long as we marched under these standards,
36:48no one would be able to stop us.
36:51Go on, my prince.
36:53Can't you see your father waiting for you?
36:56Father! Father!
37:01Save us, snakes!
37:04Save us, slut, save us, really!!!
37:09Tadaa!
37:13Aargh!
37:17Save the Sphinx! Save the Sphinx!
37:43Father!
37:47Scarab! Where is my father?
37:51In Nubia.
37:53But why?
37:54I'm the most powerful man in Egypt after your father.
37:58I will be the next pharaoh if Amenhotep has no son to follow him.
38:05Save the Sphinx! Save the Sphinx!
38:19Pathetic fools. Soon they won't even be able to save themselves.
38:25Oh, I have plans for this world, Hekar.
38:30Those centuries I suffered locked in that tomb, I didn't simply dream of escape.
38:37I dreamt of world domination.
38:41Funny, I was dreaming about a nice warm rock and a rat sandwich.
38:46Soon enough all our dreams will come true.
38:50Hey, Scarab! Now that you're about to become immortal, where you gonna go?
38:55You're supposed to say, I'm going to...
39:00How convenient. Now I can finish off you mummies without hunting you down.
39:08We were denied the chance to stop your evil once before. That won't happen again.
39:13When my shabtis finish with you, I'll use your wrappings as dusters.
39:18With the strength of Ra!
39:25Ra!
39:26Ra!
39:27Ra!
39:28Ra!
39:29Ra!
39:30Ra!
39:31Ra!
39:32Ra!
39:33Ra!
39:34Ra!
39:35Ra!
39:36Ra!
39:37Ra!
39:38Ra!
39:39Ra!
39:40Ra!
39:41Ra!
39:42Ra!
39:43Ra!
39:44Ra!
39:45Ra!
39:46Ra!
39:47Ra!
39:48Ra!
39:49Ra!
39:50Ra!
39:51Ra!
39:52Ra!
39:53Ra!
39:54Ra!
39:55Ra!
39:56Ra!
39:57Ra!
39:58Let's kick, Tot.
40:17Begone, foul guardians.
40:21I just had the strangest dream.
40:24Boy, I hope I'm still dreaming.
40:50When I'm through with your prince, he'll have no need for guardians.
41:16What?
41:17Crush them.
41:18Push them over the edge.
41:19Hey, Brittlehead!
41:21No!
41:22No!
41:23No!
41:24No!
41:25No!
41:26No!
41:27No!
41:28No!
41:29No!
41:30No!
41:31No!
41:32No!
41:33No!
41:34No!
41:35No!
41:36No!
41:37No!
41:38No!
41:39No!
41:40No!
41:41No!
41:42No!
41:43No!
41:44No!
41:45No!
41:46No!
41:47No!
41:48No!
41:50No!
41:57Come.
41:58We must get you to safety.
42:03And after an enormous spontaneous demonstration near City Hall,
42:07the mayor has announced that the Sphinx will not be demolished.
42:09At least not for now.
42:11How can we be in the magic box when we are sitting here?
42:15It's far too complicated to explain.
42:22Jakal, was that dream I had real?
42:25I mean, is that really what happened to me back then?
42:28Yes, Presley, I'm afraid it was.
42:30Did you find me in time?
42:32We found you, but Scarab's forces were too strong.
42:36We couldn't save you or ourselves.
42:38Pharaoh had ordered us to protect you and we failed.
42:41What happened to your family?
42:43I don't know.
42:44It was Rapsi's fault. My fault.
42:47Jakal, I don't know how, but someday I'll make it up to you.
42:51I promise.
42:53To be continued...
43:23To be continued...
43:53To be continued...