Mourning
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LearningTranscript
00:00Yeah, she was a good friend.
00:19Dear Tim and Moby,
00:21My sister died and we were really close.
00:23I don't know how to let go of her.
00:26How can I grieve?
00:27From Megan.
00:29I'm sorry to hear about your loss, Megan.
00:32It's hard to make peace with the fact that someone you love is gone.
00:36That's what mourning is, and it can be a slow, painful process.
00:41Fortunately, though, the rituals of mourning can be uplifting and comforting.
00:47Well, the details vary from culture to culture, but they also share a lot in common.
00:53The mourning process usually begins with a funeral, where family and friends
00:56gather to say goodbye.
00:59I remember when my grandmother died. It didn't really hit me that she was gone
01:03until the funeral.
01:05My mother gave a eulogy, a personal speech about my grandmother and what
01:09made her special.
01:12Well, like I said, different cultures mourn in different ways.
01:16For instance, Christian mourners often hold a wake or viewing where the
01:20deceased's body or casket may be visited.
01:23In Islamic tradition, the deceased is bathed and wrapped in simple cloth,
01:27and then the members of the community gather to say prayers.
01:31In Hindu cultures, the body of the dead is decorated with flowers and then
01:35taken to a special spot to be cremated or burned.
01:40The remains are often then floated down a river.
01:43After Jewish funerals, mourners observe or sit Shiva.
01:47During Shiva, family members of the deceased stay home for one week, during
01:51which time visitors arrive to pay their respects and comfort mourners.
01:56In many cultures, people show they're in mourning by wearing black or dark colors.
02:01For members of the Hindu and Buddhist faiths, white is the traditional color.
02:06In some traditions, mourners go without little pleasures, like hot showers or
02:10nice meals.
02:13Well, a lot of these customs may sound kind of strange, but that's sort of the
02:17point.
02:18Since these are things we don't ordinarily do, they remind us of those we
02:23Oh yeah, there are traditions for public mourning, too, when entire populations
02:27grieve.
02:29State funerals commemorate the death of a political leader or other public
02:32figure.
02:33During these, it's common for the body to be displayed so that thousands of
02:37mourners can file by to pay their respects.
02:40And after a tragedy that claims many lives, a country may observe a national
02:45day of mourning,
02:46or a national day of mourning.
02:49After a tragedy that claims many lives, a country may observe a national day of
02:53mourning, with private and public ceremonies held around the land.
02:58We often build memorials to commemorate these events so that generations can
03:02come and continue to pay tribute.
03:05Like private services, public ceremonies help mourners understand that they're
03:09not alone in their grief.
03:11When individuals can connect their feelings with the rest of the community,
03:15it gives them a sense of support.
03:17It's not unusual to feel sad, angry, or even guilty about someone's death.
03:22However you're feeling, you should know that it's okay to let your emotions out.
03:27One of the most common ways people express their emotions is by crying.
03:32For others, simply talking to others is a great help.
03:35Your friends, parents, or other adults you trust are good for that.
03:40Some people write letters to the dead, or talk to them when they're alone.
03:44Some people write letters to the dead, or talk to them when they're alone.
03:48Others might pray, or listen to a particular song.
03:52Still others might create scrapbooks of the person's life, or make some other
03:56kind of personal memorial.
03:59In the longer term, families often put up some kind of permanent memorial,
04:03like a gravestone, a shrine, a planted tree, or a public structure,
04:07like a park bench.
04:09These give mourners a place to gather and remember the dead for years to come.
04:14Yeah, it's not uncommon to keep a special date to honor the dead.
04:19Some cultures even have annual holidays for it.
04:22In Mexico, it's known as the Day of the Dead.
04:26Families visit cemeteries and clean and decorate graves with offerings and flowers.
04:31In Japan, families gather every year for the Obon Festival.
04:35This involves caring for ancestors' graves and, at the end,
04:39floating paper lanterns down rivers to symbolize the ancestors' return to the spirit world.
04:46While mourning isn't just about grieving the passing of a loved one,
04:50it can also celebrate a person's life.
04:53For example, in a New Orleans jazz funeral, a brass band accompanies
04:57mourners to the cemetery, playing sad music.
05:02After the burial, they march down the street playing upbeat songs
05:06while mourners and onlookers dance.
05:12Right, there's no one way to grieve, so if someone you know has lost someone,
05:18just be there for them.
05:20You may feel like you should avoid people who are mourning,
05:23but in many cases, that's the time when they need you the most.
05:26So let them know you're there if they need you.
05:30It's best to follow the mourner's lead.
05:32If they want to talk about the dead, share your thoughts or memories.
05:36If not, talk about something else.
05:39You know, Moby, I think talking about all this has helped me feel a little better.
05:45Well, we all drew flowers to commemorate our friend who passed away.
05:51She was your friend, too. Do you want to add one of your own?