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00:01:10My, my.
00:01:15You look well.
00:01:20I bet that thing has quite a few stories.
00:01:23What do you know?
00:01:26Come sit.
00:01:30Look, I ain't mean to disturb you.
00:01:32Oh, no, don't be silly.
00:01:34It's just a muffin.
00:01:37Come sit.
00:01:45What's it been?
00:01:47Two years?
00:01:49Seems like longer than that.
00:01:51Yeah, I can see that.
00:01:56You know, when I first met you,
00:02:01I saw a beautiful, intelligent young lady
00:02:06who seemed out of place.
00:02:13And I...
00:02:16I understand that you don't want to talk about what's going on.
00:02:20But...
00:02:23It seems that you've run out of space.
00:02:32I...
00:02:34I have a little time.
00:02:42Well...
00:02:45If you don't want to talk,
00:02:48you know what I am.
00:03:00And if you decide you want to,
00:03:03just to let you know,
00:03:05I'll be charging the hourly rate.
00:03:11Good day.
00:03:17Look, this shit ain't been easy for me, all right?
00:03:27This yours?
00:03:29Charmaine, it isn't mine.
00:03:48Moon around the ocean
00:03:53Heaven seems so far
00:03:58Is it my reflection?
00:04:02Here I am
00:04:07Stars in the sky
00:04:12We might be near the end
00:04:16Deep in the night
00:04:21Paint the sky
00:04:25All the dreams
00:04:30Run to me
00:04:35All the dreams
00:04:40Run to me
00:04:45Oh, the stars are out
00:04:50Do you remember that time?
00:04:54I was so happy.
00:04:59And you bought me all that cotton candy.
00:05:11Mama, who you talking to?
00:05:13I was talking to Mama.
00:05:16We was talking about the first time we went to the fair.
00:05:23I remember Daddy was so proud when he got us those tickets.
00:05:29You remember how happy he was, Mama?
00:05:32He couldn't wait to tell us where we were going.
00:05:37Mama.
00:05:40Where's the Mama?
00:06:10I'm home.
00:06:13I'm coming home.
00:06:20Do you remember?
00:06:31Mama.
00:06:43How is she?
00:06:50They told me she had at least a month left.
00:06:52I'm sorry.
00:06:54I'm so tired of people saying that shit.
00:06:57I know this must be really difficult for you.
00:07:00She's the only family I got out here.
00:07:02I know that's not true.
00:07:04Your mother told me stories about you and your sisters.
00:07:06I think she would want them there.
00:07:08I think they would want to be here.
00:07:09Pretty sure she didn't tell you everything.
00:07:11So you don't know shit.
00:07:13Your mother is dying.
00:07:15I know that much.
00:07:19How long has she got?
00:07:20It'll be a miracle if she makes it through the night.
00:07:23I think it's a great idea to call your family in.
00:07:26I think it'll bring your mother great comfort.
00:07:28Like I said before, you don't know shit.
00:07:31If it was me, no matter what me and my family had going on,
00:07:36I'd call them.
00:07:38Just do the right thing, Charmaine.
00:07:40My parents ain't never worried about this family.
00:07:42Fair enough.
00:07:44Look, it's your decision.
00:07:45It's not my place.
00:07:50I hope you find peace with this.
00:08:20Kiera, is that you?
00:08:47No, Mom, it's me, Charmaine.
00:08:50Charmaine, where are your sisters?
00:08:56They're not here, Mama.
00:08:59Where they at?
00:09:01The party's going to be starting any time now.
00:09:04Mama, what party?
00:09:07We got to throw Mama a birthday party.
00:09:11Don't you remember?
00:09:13Your Mama going to be here any time now.
00:09:16Mama, you right there.
00:09:19There's so much I got to do.
00:09:21No, Mama, look, you need to rest, okay?
00:09:23What you doing, child?
00:09:25I'll take care of you.
00:09:27But, Charmaine.
00:09:29Just rest, Mama.
00:09:59Look, I knew it was eventually.
00:10:08I just wasn't ready for it.
00:10:11The death of your mother?
00:10:13Everything that came along with it.
00:10:16Wow.
00:10:18What's going on in there?
00:10:22What?
00:10:24In here.
00:10:30I feel like it's just stirring up old wounds, like.
00:10:35Oh, it's okay.
00:10:37I need to make that phone call.
00:11:35Hello?
00:11:39Hey, what up, Tim?
00:11:41Look, I know I'm the last person that you want to hear from right now.
00:11:45Yeah, as a matter of fact, you're right.
00:11:47Look, it's about Mama.
00:11:50Look, Tim, tell Ashlyn she need to come see her, all right?
00:11:55She dying, Tim.
00:11:58And she been asking about Ashlyn.
00:12:01I don't know if I can get her to do that.
00:12:04Look, the hospice nurse says she might not make it through the night.
00:12:07Hospice?
00:12:08Wait, what you mean?
00:12:09What are you talking about?
00:12:11Just get her to come, all right?
00:12:13I know it don't mean much coming from me.
00:12:15Listen, look, I'll see what I can do.
00:12:18All right.
00:12:20Well, look, thank you.
00:12:22It means a lot to me and Mama.
00:12:26Charmaine, don't call my phone again.
00:12:35What's that all about?
00:12:37You got to walk away to take phone calls now?
00:12:41That was Charmaine.
00:12:45I don't understand.
00:12:47Why would she be calling you?
00:12:49She was, uh, she was calling about your mother.
00:12:56Apparently, look, the hospice nurse said she was going to see her.
00:13:02Apparently, look, the hospice nurse said that she might not make it through the night.
00:13:09Everything's going to be okay, all right?
00:13:32We'll get through this like we get through everything.
00:13:39We'll get through this like we get through everything.
00:14:02Listen, look, if you want my opinion, I think that you should go, all right?
00:14:22I know how you feel, but I also know how much your mom means to you, and there's no denying that.
00:14:28You of all people know I can't go.
00:14:31You know why.
00:14:34This ain't about you, Ashlyn.
00:14:36This ain't about Charmaine.
00:14:39This is about your mom.
00:14:42Only get one, baby.
00:14:47Well, I'm so happy that you can forgive me.
00:15:00I've done that a long time ago.
00:15:02All right.
00:15:03I think you should, too.
00:15:04But instead, you mope around here feeling sorry for yourself.
00:15:09I know we lost.
00:15:13OK, I think about it every day of my life.
00:15:18It hasn't escaped me.
00:15:20I haven't let it consume me either.
00:15:24So you need to let this go.
00:15:26You need to you need to let this go.
00:15:28I miss you so much.
00:15:35Your smile.
00:15:38Your laugh.
00:15:41I miss everything about you.
00:15:53I'm afraid.
00:15:57If your mom dies.
00:16:00And you know, only had a chance to be by her side.
00:16:06It'll push you over the edge.
00:16:08I don't know if I can go through that again.
00:16:17So much I want to say to her.
00:16:22I think you should go.
00:16:25Maybe it'll be good for you.
00:16:31OK?
00:16:46It's my mom.
00:17:12Why are you sitting here by yourself?
00:17:17I know how hard this is on your baby, but.
00:17:20Everything will be all right.
00:17:22You hear me?
00:17:24We just don't be holding our head down.
00:17:27I'm fine.
00:17:29I can't tell.
00:17:32You can talk to me.
00:17:35That's my sister.
00:17:38I don't know what I'm gonna do.
00:17:42Ain't got nobody else.
00:17:44I don't want to hear that nonsense.
00:17:45You hear me?
00:17:46Who else?
00:17:47I got besides you.
00:17:53Like Ashton got every right to hate me.
00:17:55But not here.
00:17:58My main didn't ever love them.
00:18:01And I just don't understand how you go years without speaking to your own mom.
00:18:07Is she perfect?
00:18:08No, but it's rules to this shit.
00:18:10I'm sure they have their reasons.
00:18:13I mean, you stop trying, though.
00:18:16We tell you something.
00:18:17Forgiveness is a powerful thing.
00:18:18You hear me?
00:18:20You owe that much to Ashley.
00:18:23One day she'll forgive you.
00:18:27You know, you're the strongest of them all, baby.
00:18:31Doesn't it make you like that?
00:18:32You've always been that way.
00:18:36And Kiara, she's always been the one to hide from her emotions.
00:18:42But you, you've always had a willingness to take charge.
00:18:48And there will come a time when Ashley and Kiara are gonna need you.
00:18:52And even though you fully understand that hell's fire will await the gate,
00:18:57you're in it without hesitation because that's the type of person you are.
00:19:02Don't forget that.
00:19:06Look, you just gotta make this right, baby.
00:19:09Now, I call Kiara.
00:19:10She'll be here when she can.
00:19:13And you know Kiara.
00:19:15She withdraws from anything.
00:19:18You just hope it's not too late.
00:19:22The truth is, baby, whether you like it or whether they like it,
00:19:25now is the time to come together.
00:19:29I'm going in and talk to my sister.
00:19:32I suggest you do the same.
00:19:34Because at the end of the day, all we have is each other.
00:19:39Okay?
00:19:42I sure am.
00:19:47Look, you've been like a mama to me.
00:19:50She is sometimes more in the home.
00:19:55Thank you, baby.
00:20:25You ready?
00:20:41I need to do this alone, Tim.
00:20:43You sure?
00:20:44Yeah, I'm sure.
00:20:47Okay.
00:20:49You need to take it home.
00:20:50No.
00:20:52It's the only thing that keeps me calm, and you know that.
00:20:55It's a fucking toy.
00:20:56That's what it is, Ashlyn.
00:20:58It's more than that, and you know it.
00:21:02I tried to be what that toy is to you.
00:21:04I guess I just can't cut it.
00:21:07You can't cut it.
00:21:08Only thing that's going to cut it is my son wrapped in my arms.
00:21:13So you can't do that to me.
00:21:15I can't do that, Ashlyn.
00:21:17All right?
00:21:18So if I can't do that, what, I can't do anything for you?
00:21:24Whatever, man.
00:21:25I'm unhappy.
00:21:26You're unhappy.
00:21:27We both are happy, so that's just what it is then, huh?
00:21:31I forgot my mom.
00:21:35I'm sorry about your mom, Ashlyn.
00:21:37I really am, but I need you, too.
00:21:42I'm sorry that this is the version of Ashlyn she gets in her final days.
00:21:49I tried.
00:21:50I tried.
00:21:51I did.
00:21:53I tried to connect with you.
00:21:54I can't.
00:21:57Whatever.
00:21:58You want to sit around and spin that toy, then have at it.
00:22:00Go ahead.
00:22:05See you later.
00:22:14Lo, I know you're still in there trying to fight.
00:22:19You've always been stubborn.
00:22:24I remember that time when Mama wanted you to wear that dress to Mimi's party.
00:22:33That was the ugliest dress I ever seen.
00:22:37You gave Mama a fit that day.
00:22:42She pretended to be so mad at you when you didn't wear that dress.
00:22:47But I overheard her and Daddy laughing about it when you said,
00:22:52I ain't wearing that dress under no circumstances.
00:23:02But the one thing I never liked is how does family keep secrets locked away?
00:23:10We wear our secrets like a badge of honor, and there's some days I just want to be honest.
00:23:23But the one thing that I learned from all this is at the end of the day, all we have is each other.
00:23:33We share each other's secrets, and that alone makes us sisters.
00:23:41I know all the good in you.
00:23:44I know all the bad in you.
00:23:47I love you outweighs any other bad because you're my sister.
00:24:17I've asked you to do things that I can never ask anyone else to do.
00:24:40Oh my goodness, would you look at here.
00:24:43Ashley, is that you?
00:24:46I haven't seen you in such a long time.
00:24:49Why you holding up, baby?
00:24:51I've been trying to call you.
00:24:53I want to talk to Mama.
00:24:56Okay.
00:24:59I'll leave you two alone.
00:25:02Talk to you later, love.
00:25:32Look, I don't think I can do this.
00:26:01Lord, I feel sick to my stomach.
00:26:03Let me tell you something.
00:26:05You have every right to be here.
00:26:07So does Ashlyn.
00:26:08So does Kiara.
00:26:10Look, the shit I did is unforgivable.
00:26:13Oh, you know all about forgiveness, huh?
00:26:16That girl in there has a burning rage.
00:26:19You may have driven the car, but we both know you ain't steered the wheel.
00:26:22I kept telling myself I was going to have to have this conversation with you one day.
00:26:28I just...
00:26:32I just kept putting it off.
00:26:39I must say, I better go see your mama before it's too late.
00:26:52There's so much I want to tell you, Mama.
00:26:57But if I don't get this off my chest, I don't think I'm going to get past it.
00:27:11See this?
00:27:16Kiara with me everywhere.
00:27:22I do it because Michael did.
00:27:29You was supposed to be with him that day, Mama.
00:27:34Not Charmaine!
00:27:36I drove that car.
00:27:38I killed...
00:27:40I killed Michael.
00:27:42I got to live with that for the rest of my life.
00:27:45Ashlyn, no, you ain't mean to do that.
00:27:47I don't make it no better.
00:27:48You knew she'd been drinking.
00:27:51You knew she was high.
00:27:55And you put my only child in the car with her?
00:28:03How can I come back here after all that?
00:28:07How can I look you in the face?
00:28:12How can I step foot in this house?
00:28:16I never want to see you again.
00:28:18Look, I love Ashlyn.
00:28:22That's why this shit is so damn hard for me.
00:28:26I love you with all my heart. You know that, right?
00:28:30But the truth is, you've got to carry that burden.
00:28:33Now, you can cry victim all you want.
00:28:36But the shit that's left is on your side of the fence.
00:28:39You hear me?
00:28:40Now, you owe that much to Ashlyn to release those emotions that she has towards you.
00:28:45Look at me. Look at me.
00:28:47No, no. You don't get to be scared.
00:28:50Not with anything like this.
00:28:52Now, you go in there and you talk to your sister.
00:28:57I see life is sad, Ashlyn.
00:29:00She ain't got no soul, just pure hatred.
00:29:05You got to make her feel something.
00:29:08Even if that means she hit you, you better stand there and take it.
00:29:12You hear me? You owe that much to her.
00:29:14You know I don't have no intentions of holding your hand, okay?
00:29:19I'm not here to do that.
00:29:23I'm not going to sit here and talk to you about the good times.
00:29:30Because the only thing I can think about is my dead son.
00:29:39I'm going to hold you responsible for that, Mama.
00:30:10Broken by those final moments
00:30:18How could I have ever known it
00:30:24We were meant to be until the end
00:30:35You left behind a shattered mess of love and happiness
00:30:43An endless nightmare as I try to make the pieces fit
00:30:52The ghost of you possesses me
00:31:01Torments my mind, haunts my dreams
00:31:08When will I be seeing you again?
00:31:14So, is that the reason you went to prison?
00:31:21Jesus Christ.
00:31:27How did that go?
00:31:31Shit hit the fan.
00:31:34Who the fuck did I put it in?
00:31:39Fuck.
00:31:41How long are we going to do this?
00:31:44What?
00:31:46We've been doing this all our lives.
00:31:48Running from the things we need to face.
00:31:52Things we've done.
00:31:55I don't know how to face you, alright?
00:31:57I don't know what to say to you.
00:31:58Because you can't.
00:32:00Ain't shit you can't say.
00:32:09Remember this?
00:32:13Yeah.
00:32:15I know you remember.
00:32:22Where'd you get that?
00:32:23It doesn't matter.
00:32:24The point is, Michael should have it.
00:32:28Because of you, he doesn't.
00:32:30Because of Mama?
00:32:31Look, Mama ain't have shit to do with it.
00:32:33I ain't going home with a fucking drunk.
00:32:35I shouldn't even be talking to you right now.
00:32:39As far as I'm concerned, my sister died in that car with my fucking son.
00:32:46Yeah.
00:32:48It ain't right.
00:32:49Why you here?
00:32:50And he ain't.
00:32:51I want you to tell me where my son is.
00:32:53Man, you know where your son is.
00:32:55Okay?
00:32:57I want to hear you fucking say it!
00:33:00I want to hear you say it, bitch.
00:33:04Get off of me.
00:33:05Fuck off of me.
00:33:10I want to hear you say it.
00:33:12Look, he dead, alright?
00:33:18Look, I didn't mean to.
00:33:23He was hungry, so I went down the street to get him something to eat.
00:33:27Look, Mama didn't know.
00:33:28She thought he was outside.
00:33:34If I would have seen that truck coming, Ashlyn, I would have did something.
00:33:38Anything.
00:33:39But you didn't.
00:33:40Because you was too fucking drunk.
00:33:51So...
00:33:54What did I miss?
00:34:10What did you do?
00:34:14I'm sad, Mama.
00:34:31I had so many chances to do right.
00:34:37I was just so afraid.
00:34:42What was I going to do?
00:34:48I need to know the truth.
00:34:54This...
00:34:57This is my fault.
00:35:03I failed them.
00:35:09I'm sorry.
00:35:14It's not me.
00:35:20It's not...
00:35:39It's not...
00:35:59It's not...
00:36:28Ashlyn, I...
00:36:34I can't imagine how you feel right now.
00:36:38How are you?
00:36:41To be honest, I'm a mess.
00:36:46I just...
00:36:51This isn't easy for me, you know?
00:36:57You were right to get out when you did.
00:37:01Mama always did choose Charmaine.
00:37:04Every time.
00:37:06I, uh...
00:37:11I can't imagine what you might be feeling right now.
00:37:15But Ashlyn, I had to escape it all.
00:37:20I'm glad you could escape it.
00:37:24I tried.
00:37:26I tried.
00:37:28Hell, I thought of so many different ways to escape it.
00:37:34One time, I took a handful of pills.
00:37:40I thought...
00:37:45Just die peacefully in my sleep.
00:37:52Woke up the next morning with a hell of a headache.
00:37:59But I liked it.
00:38:01I liked it.
00:38:06So the next time I took four or five Percocets,
00:38:11I decided I'd go for a little drive.
00:38:16Everything was a blur.
00:38:18Couldn't even see my hand in front of my face.
00:38:24One thing I did see, vividly,
00:38:27was an 18-wheel truck heading in my direction.
00:38:34I just...
00:38:36I grabbed the steering wheel.
00:38:38I veered it over.
00:38:41And I finally let go.
00:38:49I was almost to that point, and I just...
00:38:55grabbed the wheel,
00:38:58pulled over to the side of the road,
00:39:00and cried like I'd never cried before.
00:39:07Going through what I went through...
00:39:12is worse than dying.
00:39:17I can't escape it.
00:39:23So whatever it is...
00:39:27you're running from...
00:39:31now's the time to face it.
00:39:36Um...
00:39:39I gotta take this.
00:40:06Listen, no. No!
00:40:09Look, just have them fax the papers over to my office,
00:40:12and I'll be about here later on tonight to get them.
00:40:15Yeah, I'm not gonna be here much longer anyway.
00:40:18I really shouldn't have came in first place.
00:40:21Kiara! I know you hear me calling.
00:40:24Uh, hey, I'm gonna have to call you back.
00:40:27All right.
00:40:30Leaving so soon?
00:40:33I knew it was gonna be like this.
00:40:36Look, I'm just not here for the drama and all the awkwardness.
00:40:41So you don't have time for family?
00:40:45Family?
00:40:47That's what I said.
00:40:49You call this family?
00:40:52This hasn't felt like family in a long time.
00:40:57And how would you know?
00:40:59You left and never came back.
00:41:01I practically had to beg you to come.
00:41:04And out of respect for you, Auntie Cheryl...
00:41:07I'm here.
00:41:09And now you're leaving.
00:41:12Guess I'll see you in another five years.
00:41:15Yeah.
00:41:18Guess so.
00:41:22Why didn't anybody tell me about Mama?
00:41:27That was your mama's decision.
00:41:30I was against it, but she was adamant.
00:41:34She talked about you all the time.
00:41:37She was always saying how proud she was of you.
00:41:41You talk about Mama as if she was a saint.
00:41:44I know she is.
00:41:47You talk about Mama as if she was a saint.
00:41:50I know she ain't no saint.
00:41:52None of us are.
00:41:55We all have our secrets.
00:41:57Yeah, you're right about that one.
00:42:01You know what someone once told me?
00:42:04The only difference between a beast and a coward...
00:42:09is that a coward will cover your mouth while you scream and help you dispose of a body.
00:42:14See, at the end of the day...
00:42:17a coward only thinks of himself.
00:42:20I ain't covering for your mama.
00:42:22And I'm not talking about you.
00:42:24So what you saying, Kiara?
00:42:25I'm just...
00:42:26Nothing.
00:42:27I ain't saying nothing.
00:42:30That's what we do best, right?
00:42:32Even if I did, who would listen to me? Huh?
00:42:35So that's why you stayed away for so long?
00:42:38Well, you a coward too.
00:42:42As am I.
00:42:46You know, your mom and I, we didn't always see eye to eye on things.
00:42:51Yeah, she told me some things in confidence.
00:42:54There's some things I agree with and...
00:42:57there's some things that I promise I'll take to my grave because that's my sister.
00:43:03But I ran too.
00:43:07I didn't talk to Loretta for years.
00:43:11It was always something that brought us back together.
00:43:28And what were those things?
00:43:31I can't tell you that, Kiara.
00:43:33What were those things that she told you?
00:43:34How can I tell you that?
00:43:37Because you were ashamed too, right?
00:43:40Well, so is Mama!
00:44:01I'm sorry. I'm so sorry, okay?
00:44:11I just have one question.
00:44:19How long did she know that he was doing those things to us?
00:44:26Just go on and ask yourself.
00:44:28You won't answer the questions that are fading away in this house as we speak.
00:44:32And you're asking me questions that I just don't have the answers to.
00:44:38Quite frankly, I don't think it's my place to tell you.
00:44:41So go in there and talk to your Mama.
00:44:48No.
00:44:51I'm...
00:44:53I'm not ready to see her yet.
00:44:56It's your choice, Kiara.
00:44:58Yeah.
00:45:00It is my choice, right?
00:45:02I've been making it for a long time, I suppose.
00:45:04Back when shit wasn't my choice!
00:45:34I'm sorry.
00:46:04I'm sorry.
00:46:20Ashley, don't.
00:46:23Just don't talk to me.
00:46:28Look, tell me what I can do, Ashley.
00:46:30I don't know what to do or to say to you to make things right between us.
00:46:34All right? I love you, man.
00:46:39Honestly, I wish it was me instead of Michael, all right?
00:46:43I love that boy.
00:46:46You know that.
00:46:49Just don't talk to me right now, Charmaine.
00:46:52I just had this moment.
00:46:54You ain't gotta be alone, Ashley.
00:46:56I've been alone.
00:46:58Get away from me.
00:47:03So ain't no fixing this?
00:47:05What you think?
00:47:07Hmm?
00:47:09Can't imagine what I feel right now.
00:47:12Look, sis, I ain't dead.
00:47:15I'm right here.
00:47:24You wanna tell me what this is?
00:47:26What you doing with that?
00:47:28You ain't got no right to go through my shit!
00:47:30What the fuck is that, Charmaine?
00:47:34Why you write all that shit in there?
00:47:40You know how I felt.
00:47:43Why would you do that?
00:47:46I go see a counselor every week to make sure I'm on the up and up, all right?
00:47:50And he thought it'd be a good idea to write my thoughts down and shit.
00:47:54What the fuck does a stranger know about our family?
00:47:58He know everything we never talk about.
00:48:01He know about everything.
00:48:03So he know everything that happened to me and you?
00:48:08Like I said, he know everything we never talk about, Kiara.
00:48:12Goddamn you, Charmaine!
00:48:17Me and you thought that we would take this shit to our grave.
00:48:20You understand?
00:48:21We said we would never tell the soul.
00:48:24How dare you break my trust like that?
00:48:27What are y'all talking about?
00:48:31Put us right.
00:48:35You don't know, do you, sis?
00:48:38What the hell is right here in this notebook?
00:48:40Give me the fucking notebook!
00:48:41Fuck away from me.
00:48:46Give me the notebook.
00:48:49Let me see the notebook.
00:48:53You owe me that much.
00:48:56Fuck Charmaine! Give me the notebook!
00:49:18Why are you sleeping like that?
00:49:30Loretta.
00:49:34Loretta.
00:49:40Loretta, no.
00:49:49This ain't how you wanted to go, Loretta.
00:49:53This ain't right.
00:49:56This ain't right. You had to die alone.
00:50:03I was looking for an answer from you.
00:50:08And now it's on me.
00:50:19I don't like this.
00:50:21You still want to destroy everything?
00:50:25Why you want to add more gasoline?
00:50:27Everything around you already ashes, Charmaine.
00:50:29Everything in that journal is a god on his truth.
00:50:35You want to know why I'm the way I am?
00:50:37Read it from front to back.
00:50:39Better tell you everything you need to know about me.
00:50:41How dare you sit there and tell them lies on my daddy?
00:50:44My dad ain't never did nothing to you.
00:50:49Here.
00:50:51You're not angry.
00:50:54Y'all been lying on daddy.
00:51:00She's telling the truth, Ashlyn.
00:51:13Not my daddy.
00:51:15My daddy...
00:51:17My daddy ain't never laid a hand on you.
00:51:19You don't understand how it feels
00:51:22for a man you're supposed to love unconditionally do vile things to you.
00:51:29You're right about one thing.
00:51:32I'll never understand what that was like for you.
00:51:36And you will never understand how that was for me.
00:51:40Stop, stop, stop!
00:51:41It's the truth, Ashlyn.
00:51:43But we never talk about it.
00:51:45You shut down, and Kiera, you run from it.
00:51:49So I'm the one that's left to take it.
00:51:52And we never talk about it.
00:51:59A hero.
00:52:02That's what I thought my daddy was.
00:52:05Instead, he became the worst man that I ever known.
00:52:09So that day, I vowed to myself
00:52:12that I'd never let another man get close to me.
00:52:18So instead of talking about it,
00:52:21I'm right about it.
00:52:25But you know the truth is,
00:52:29we all got something we're running from.
00:52:32We just do it differently.
00:52:34We just do it differently.
00:52:39So yeah,
00:52:41I try every day
00:52:44not to think about what our father did to me and Kiera.
00:52:51So yeah,
00:52:53the drugs did the trick.
00:52:56Alcohol even better.
00:52:58Don't you dare use that as an excuse, Charmaine.
00:53:01Don't you fucking dare use it!
00:53:04You know what?
00:53:07Maybe you would've realized it
00:53:10if you wasn't too busy sleeping with men whose name wasn't Timothy.
00:53:17Fuck you.
00:53:19What's she talking about, Ashlyn?
00:53:24I didn't mean to say that, all right?
00:53:26I'm sorry.
00:53:27I didn't mean to say that, all right?
00:53:29I'm sorry.
00:53:33You know what?
00:53:37I'm out of here.
00:53:41Kiera, take me with you.
00:53:42Wait, what about Mama?
00:53:45I mean, fuck your Mama!
00:53:52Kiera.
00:53:55What's wrong?
00:53:58No, no, no.
00:54:00No, no, no, no.
00:54:06What's wrong?
00:54:09No.
00:54:27No.
00:54:57Here I stand
00:55:01Painted red
00:55:05With thoughts of whispers
00:55:09Inside my head
00:55:28Dirty water
00:55:32Wash me clean
00:55:38You'll always be a part of me
00:55:43There's blood on my hands
00:55:51There's blood on my hands
00:55:58There's blood on my hands
00:56:03Lights are fading out
00:56:07I feel it coming down
00:56:11Open up my eyes
00:56:16And see the weight inside
00:56:23Cause here I stand
00:56:29Painted red
00:56:49Dirty water
00:56:53Wash me clean
00:56:59You'll always be a part of me
00:57:04There's blood on my hands
00:57:12There's blood on my hands
00:57:16There's blood on my hands
00:57:21Cause here I stand
00:57:28You know, I didn't cry at all when Daddy died.
00:57:33Neither did Charmaine.
00:57:37See, I love my Mama so much.
00:57:41But for her to know what was going on all those years and not do nothing about it...
00:57:47It's unforgivable.
00:57:53See, I'm ashamed of my past.
00:57:57But Auntie Cheryl, I didn't run.
00:58:01I escaped.
00:58:04You can't escape family.
00:58:07Oh, but I already have.
00:58:17What am I looking at here?
00:58:22That's, uh...
00:58:25That's my son.
00:58:28What you mean your son?
00:58:32We are good at keeping secrets, aren't we?
00:58:35I mean, why would you keep this a secret from me, out of all people?
00:58:39I was the only one that kept in contact with you.
00:58:42Because I didn't want my child to be around all this poison.
00:58:47To be around this bullshit.
00:58:52See, I've been through so much with this family.
00:58:56Honestly, why would I want to expose my son to any of this?
00:59:00Your sisters know about this?
00:59:02Nah.
00:59:05I'm scared to crush Ashlyn and Charmaine.
00:59:08Charmaine, well...
00:59:11Let's just say things are easier this way.
00:59:16You could have told me.
00:59:18Only I couldn't.
00:59:20See, the only reason why I even kept in contact with you is because I knew Mama would be worried.
00:59:27Yeah.
00:59:29She worried about you girls.
00:59:32She understood why you left.
00:59:35She didn't want to do anything to hold y'all back.
00:59:39Which is why she couldn't understand why Charmaine stayed.
00:59:44Now, you can say what you want to about Charmaine, but...
00:59:47She took care of your Mama.
00:59:50Yes, because they were both living in their guilt.
00:59:55I don't hate Charmaine.
00:59:57Hell, she had it worse than all of us.
01:00:01But for Mama to keep that secret for that many years...
01:00:05I sure do hate to see what happens after the dust settles and Charmaine realizes that she has nobody else.
01:00:16But I can tell you that I won't be around to see it.
01:00:26This chapter of my life is over.
01:00:30I don't have nothing else to hold on to here.
01:00:43Thank you for everything, Auntie Cheryl.
01:00:50You know you can bring that child to come see me now.
01:00:59I'm never coming back here.
01:01:01Maybe I can come see you?
01:01:04Yeah.
01:01:06Maybe so.
01:01:14And you take good care of that boy too, you hear me?
01:01:23That I can promise you.
01:01:25I will.
01:01:27Bye, Auntie Cheryl.
01:01:28Bye, Auntie Cheryl.
01:01:58Bye.
01:02:22I'm heading home.
01:02:24Alright.
01:02:28Ashley.
01:02:30I just want to say I'm sorry, alright?
01:02:34I just want you to know that.
01:02:46Sorry's not good enough right now, Charmaine.
01:02:50Not right now.
01:02:51Not right now.
01:02:54To be honest, I don't think I have any more love in my heart.
01:03:02I ain't trying to make amends.
01:03:05Just know this probably won't be the last time we see each other.
01:03:13Why you ain't tell me about what was happening to you?
01:03:22Maybe one day.
01:03:25When you're ready to talk about it.
01:03:28That could be a start for us.
01:03:34Yeah.
01:03:36But not if you're still doing this.
01:03:48I love you.
01:03:50I love you.
01:03:55I love you too.
01:04:03Take care of yourself.
01:04:19I love you.
01:04:43I'm so sorry, baby.
01:04:49What's wrong? Is everything okay?
01:04:51No, everything's not okay.
01:04:55I want a divorce.
01:05:00What you mean you want a divorce?
01:05:02What are you talking- What happened? What are you talking about?
01:05:06I'm done pretending.
01:05:14I'm so sorry I'm writing in your journal.
01:05:17Honestly, I guess it's just easier to point the blame.
01:05:21But you reminded me.
01:05:23It falls on me as well.
01:05:25There's so much I need to process.
01:05:29But there will come a day where I can forgive you.
01:05:33I know that Michael loved you.
01:05:36That's why I left you a gift.
01:05:40It's gotten me through many, many tough times.
01:05:44And hopefully, I can do the same for you.
01:06:07Well, I guess it's just us.
01:06:10Yeah, I guess so.
01:06:12Kira left without saying nothing.
01:06:15Yeah, well, I think she's done with all this.
01:06:19I don't blame her.
01:06:21Look, I might take a nap, all right?
01:06:23Yeah, that's fine.
01:06:26And you know you're not alone, right?
01:06:28You always have me.
01:06:30Yeah.
01:06:31Okay?
01:06:40Okay.
01:07:07Cheryl.
01:07:08They need to know the truth.
01:07:11We've been lying to them way too long.
01:07:14They need to know who their real mama is.
01:07:18I can't do it.
01:07:20They're gonna need you.
01:07:22They're gonna need each other.
01:07:25You're their real mama.
01:07:27They need to know that.
01:07:35They need to know.
01:07:37The ghost of you possesses me
01:07:43Torments my mind
01:07:47It haunts my dreams
01:07:50And when will I be seeing you again?
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