• 2 months ago
Transcript
00:00Dear Timmy,
00:17We have our ups and downs, but I hope you realize I always have your best interests
00:22at heart.
00:23I know being a kid can be tough, but did you know being a parent can be tough too?
00:29Love, Mom.
00:30Ugh, I told my mom to stop calling me Timmy.
00:36P.S.
00:38Please be home by 7 for dinner, and don't forget your science project.
00:43Oh yeah!
00:45Be right back.
00:47Phew, close call.
00:50Mom and dad can drive me nuts, but I really do rely on them.
00:54And I get that it's not always a picnic dealing with me either.
00:58Parenthood is a big, tough job.
01:01Well, pregnancy and giving birth are hard enough.
01:05But parenting comes after.
01:07Taking care of your kids, loving them unconditionally, and teaching them how to live in the world.
01:12And actually, people can become parents in lots of different ways.
01:16They might turn to outside help for the pregnancy, or adopt or foster a child, or become guardians
01:23of a child in need.
01:26A parent's role is always changing, because their kids keep changing.
01:30In the first stage of life, they're infants, 100% dependent on their parents for survival.
01:36For food, to stay clean and warm, for comfort, for literally everything.
01:40At first, they can't even hold their heads up on their own.
01:45And they're trying to figure out if the world is a safe place.
01:48So parents need to provide love and stability, meeting all their needs.
01:54And since infants can't talk, parents have to pay close attention to body language and
01:58other forms of communication.
02:00Yeah, like crying.
02:02And they've got to respond, even if it's the middle of the night.
02:05Especially in the early months, parents literally can't give infants too much attention.
02:10At this age, babies are learning from their parents how relationships work.
02:15If their needs are met consistently, they develop trust.
02:19So when they face tough stuff in the future, they trust that they can turn to other people
02:23for support.
02:25This allows them to form strong, healthy relationships throughout their life.
02:30Infants transition into toddlers when they start, well, toddling around.
02:35And asserting some independence.
02:38Since toddlers can now do some stuff on their own, they want a say in how things go.
02:43They have a lot of opinions, and they're not afraid to express them.
02:46It's a parent's job to give up some control and let their toddler make choices.
02:51Of course, the parent's still in charge and needs to keep the kid safe.
02:55It's a delicate balance between allowing some freedom and setting limits.
03:00This stage is a lot of trial and error.
03:02It's sometimes called the terrible twos.
03:05Parents try to tolerate the mistakes and the strong feelings without shaming their kid.
03:11That way, toddlers grow confident in their abilities.
03:13They feel respected and learn self-reliance.
03:18You can think of the stages of childhood almost like levels in a video game.
03:22They get more complicated as you go.
03:25And the better you do in one level, the more tools you'll have to succeed in the next one.
03:30Parenthood is all about helping kids perform the best they can at each stage.
03:35A lot of that boils down to giving them more and more independence.
03:39Preschoolers begin taking charge by planning games and using their imaginations.
03:45Middle-aged kids start to seek out approval from people other than their parents, like teachers and friends.
03:52Adolescents are experimenting to figure out their identities as individuals,
03:57which often means rebelling against their parents' authority.
04:05This can create conflict, like for, uh, me, putting up with all of mom and dad's demands.
04:12I have to put a quarter in the curfew, chores, how if I insult dad's awful cooking,
04:17I have to put a quarter in the rudeness jar.
04:22Rats.
04:25But that's how parents support kids through the challenges of growing up.
04:29Setting limits with clear consequences, so they make good choices and feel secure.
04:34But also encouraging them to try new things and make healthy choices.
04:39Giving them an open mind and helping them forge their own path.
04:43Until eventually they're independent, responsible adults.
04:47Or at least, that's the goal.
04:50No, Moby, there's no single way to be a good parent.
04:53Everyone's parents are different, just like we kids are all different.
04:57And every parent makes mistakes.
05:00All parents have days where they're tired or distracted or stressed out.
05:04Still, if you're frustrated or bothered by something your parents are doing,
05:09you can sit down and talk to them.
05:12Unfortunately, there are cases when parents aren't meeting their kids' needs.
05:17They're not keeping them safe or healthy or not taking care of them in other ways.
05:22Any kid who feels that way should reach out to an adult they trust.
05:26Maybe another family member or someone at school.
05:30It might feel scary or embarrassing, but those people are there to help.
05:34That's a good point. We don't stop growing when we reach adulthood.
05:38People keep changing, no matter how old they get.
05:42That goes for your folks, too.
05:44In the end, you're your own person, separate from your parents.
05:48And if someday you decide to become a parent, you can choose to do things differently.
05:53I, for one, would never leave mushy notes in my future kid's backpack.
06:04Good luck on your math quiz, Timbo.
06:08I'm proud of you for studying so hard, and I bet you'll do great.
06:14Love, Dad.
06:16Then again, maybe I would.