Perry vs. Mark, 1979
Transcript
00:00Get ready to match the stars from Lou Grant, Robert Walden,
00:05Brett Somers,
00:08Charles Nelson Reilly,
00:10Elaine Joyce,
00:12Bill Day,
00:14and Joyce Billivant,
00:16as we play the star-studded, big-money match game!
00:20And now, here's the star of match game,
00:24Gene Raynor!
00:26Get ready, get ready if you are.
00:36Get ready out there.
00:38Okay, let's do it, here we go.
00:40Hey, let's go!
00:41Welcome to the two of you.
00:42We're beginning with round two.
00:45This is the first game.
00:46Here we go.
00:47Bing, bing, bing, bing, bing.
00:48Push the button already.
00:49There we go.
00:50All right, Perry, you're ahead,
00:51so we're going to ask you to go first.
00:52You're going to have A or B.
00:54Okay, I'll take A.
00:56You want A, you're sure?
00:58Okay, it is.
01:01Paul the pickpocket said,
01:04it's tough being a pickpocket at a nudist colony.
01:08The only way it can stay in practice
01:10is by picking blanks.
01:14You don't play?
01:15You don't play, you don't play.
01:18Fine.
01:21Fine.
01:22Yes, sir.
01:23I'm ready for this.
01:27Is that the Mary Tyler Moore look?
01:28It is, indeed, right.
01:30Van Blythe.
01:31Van Blythe, yes.
01:38Okay, Walden, here we go.
01:40Yes.
01:41Paul the pickpocket said,
01:42tough being a pickpocket at a nudist colony.
01:44The only way it can stay in practice
01:46is by picking blanks.
01:49Noses.
01:51All right.
01:56What do you say, Bob Baby?
01:58She's so cute.
01:59She is cute.
02:00I said noses.
02:01Oh, that's one for her.
02:02She gets a four.
02:05Now we'll go to you.
02:06I thought there was a bad taste of discussing.
02:08I said nose, not two noses.
02:10One nose.
02:11What do you say, Mary Tyler Moore?
02:13Mary Tyler Moore says noses.
02:15Okay.
02:21You got to match all six to stay in the game
02:23and achieve a tie.
02:24This is the first game.
02:25You'll get another shot at the other game, of course.
02:27Ronald McDonald just lost his mind.
02:30Today, they caught him out on the road
02:33playing with his blank.
02:39Ronald McDonald lost his mind.
02:44They caught him out on the road today
02:45playing with his blank.
02:58Okay.
03:04Mark Hannon.
03:07Here we go.
03:08Ronald McDonald just lost his mind.
03:10Today, they caught him out on the road
03:12playing with his blank.
03:17Go ahead, say it.
03:19Say it.
03:21I don't want to be redundant, but I'll say nose.
03:29What was your first choice?
03:32Well, I want to come back for the second game,
03:33so I'm not concerned.
03:35Okay, Bob, you're up.
03:37I said burger.
03:38Burger.
03:40That means Harry gets to win the game.
03:42Of course, I said burger.
03:43It was supposed to be nose.
03:44Burger.
03:47Burger is his nose?
03:48All right, come on back, Harry.
03:51Come on, we'll come back for the second game
03:52a little bit later,
03:53and right now, we're going to have to go up
03:55and be supermassive.
03:58Goodbye.
04:01I guess I wanted to get off there, didn't I?
04:05I don't know.
04:06Are you all right?
04:07Yes.
04:08You started to go while you were still on.
04:09Okay.
04:10Now, here we go.
04:11We polled a studio audience not too long ago
04:13and said write down your best answer to this.
04:15Tinto, blank.
04:16If you match the answer they gave us most often,
04:18you get $500.
04:19For matching the second most popular answer,
04:21$250.
04:22And for the third, 100.
04:24And as you look at the stars,
04:25the ones that have an intelligence,
04:27a glimmer of intelligence in the eyes,
04:29those are the ones who will probably
04:31give you the best answers.
04:33Robert.
04:34Intelligent eyes.
04:35Intelligent eyes, huh?
04:37I like what you said, honey.
04:38I said Pinto wagon.
04:41Pinto wagon.
04:42Okay.
04:46Oh, we got one up here.
04:48That's it.
04:49We've got one.
04:50Pinto bean.
04:51Pinto bean.
04:57Pinto Dean.
04:58Joyce.
04:59Mary.
05:00Mary Tyler Moore.
05:01I beg your pardon.
05:02Pinto horse.
05:03So, you have Pinto horse,
05:04Pinto wagon, and Pinto bean.
05:05Choose one of those,
05:06or give us one of those.
05:07Go for all the beans.
05:10They're saying beans out there.
05:12You have to make a choice now.
05:14Right now, huh?
05:15Right now.
05:16All right.
05:17I'll go for bean.
05:18Okay.
05:19Let's see if we've got beans on the $100 number.
05:22There's the wagon.
05:24That was not bad at all.
05:25Okay.
05:26Let's see the next one, please.
05:28Pinto pony.
05:29Well, you got two out of the three they gave you.
05:31That's close enough.
05:32May we see the big one?
05:34You got it.
05:35Very good.
05:37All right.
05:39You've got $500.
05:42Beans the least you'll play for is 10 times that amount,
05:45or $5,000.
05:46However, you are going to spin the wheel
05:48and see if you can double your money.
05:50Excuse me.
05:51We'll turn around this way.
05:52And step up there and give it a spin,
05:55and we'll all root for a double, right?
05:57Here we go.
05:59All right.
06:08All right.
06:11Right down there.
06:13Face me.
06:14Good luck to you.
06:15Here we go.
06:17You ready there?
06:18Bob, leave him alone.
06:20He wasn't talking to you.
06:22He was talking to me.
06:23Here we go.
06:24Blank cooker.
06:27Blank cooker, or blank cooker.
06:29Blank cooker.
06:30Okay.
06:31No, you can't say it until I ask for it.
06:35You have to keep facing me, because he's writing an answer.
06:38He's finished that now.
06:39Now you give us your answer, and if it matches his, you get the money.
06:44Pressure.
06:45Pressure.
06:46Good one.
06:47All right.
06:48If he's got pressure cooker on the card, you're richer by $10,000.
06:53What do you say?
06:54You should have let me help you.
06:55I'm sorry.
06:56Please.
06:57Okay.
06:58I'm going to take you to dinner to make up for this.
06:59Okay.
07:00I said pressure.
07:01Yes.
07:02$10,500 to Pearl Hudson!
07:03Out of all of the messes, her mask is.
07:04Yes.
07:11Yes!
07:19Oh!
07:21Oh!
07:23Here we go.
07:28All right, Mark is back here now.
07:30We'll begin by asking him to choose A or B.
07:33I'll choose B.
07:34B it is.
07:35B says,
07:36Ralph said this hamburger must be made out of cat meat.
07:39I can tell.
07:40When I bite into it, it blinks.
07:43Oh, gosh.
07:47Good.
07:50Good.
07:53We're moving.
07:54We're moving.
07:56Okay, Mark, Ralph said this hamburger must be made out of cat meat.
07:59I can tell.
08:00When I bite into it, it blinks.
08:02It meows.
08:03Meows is good.
08:07Okay, Bob, he said meows.
08:09Well, I said meows.
08:10Yeah, I said the same thing.
08:12Meows.
08:13Okay.
08:14Nice one.
08:15We got to see it.
08:16All right.
08:17This is for all the people I love in Fort Worth.
08:20Meow.
08:21Meow.
08:22All right.
08:25I have no friends but meows anyway.
08:32This hamburger must be made out of cat meat.
08:34I can tell.
08:35When I bite into it, it meows.
08:37Meow.
08:38That's four for him.
08:40Meow.
08:41Bill says meow.
08:43What do you say, Mary?
08:44Meow.
08:45All right, Mary, you got a little catching up to do here.
08:55Here we go.
08:56Dumb Donald was so dumb.
08:59I'll go first.
09:01Oh, shut up.
09:02You're getting on my nerves.
09:05You're making me so nervous.
09:07Can I go?
09:08You're making me so nervous.
09:09You sit there, and I'll sit here.
09:11Okay.
09:12Dumb Donald was so dumb.
09:13He's so dumb, he spent two years...
09:15Come here!
09:16I said sit here!
09:17I know.
09:18I said sit here!
09:20Sit right here!
09:21Woo!
09:22Nice.
09:23Get back in your seat.
09:24I'd like to get back in her seat.
09:30He's so dumb, he spent two years planning a bank robbery.
09:34Then all he stole was blank.
09:37I don't need this show, man.
09:38I got the reruns of New Heart.
09:39You're making me so nervous, I can't stand it!
09:40You know what?
09:41I don't know.
09:42Come and help me.
09:43Here, boy.
09:44You know, these people are sicker than the ones we had on last week.
09:45It's strange about them.
09:46Okay.
09:47Oh, you do?
09:48Okay.
09:49Okay.
09:50Okay.
09:51Okay.
09:52Okay.
09:53Okay.
09:54Okay.
09:55Okay.
09:56Okay.
09:57Okay.
09:58Okay.
09:59Okay.
10:00Okay.
10:01Okay.
10:02Okay.
10:03Okay.
10:04Okay.
10:05Okay.
10:07Wait a minute, wait a minute, sweetheart.
10:09Robert hasn't finished yet.
10:10Oh, Bill, get with it.
10:12I'm gonna change him.
10:14Here we go.
10:15It's not us again.
10:16Dumb Donald was so dumb,
10:18he spent two years planning a bank robbery,
10:20and then all he stole was...
10:21The cashier.
10:24No.
10:25The cashier.
10:26No.
10:27It was a pretty blonde lady cashier, was that it?
10:29And he took her away.
10:30Oh, no.
10:31What do you got?
10:32She's so cute, it doesn't matter what she's doing.
10:35It doesn't matter what she said.
10:37I said the Inkwell and Penman.
10:39Oh, that's cute.
10:40Yeah.
10:41Sits up there.
10:42It's okay.
10:43What?
10:44They steal those.
10:45Right.
10:46This may be a match, darling.
10:47I can't be too sure.
10:48I said all he stole was a teller.
10:49A teller.
10:50There she is.
10:51Yeah.
10:52Way to go.
10:53Okay.
10:54A piggy bank.
10:55Aha.
10:56Good.
10:57Such a wit.
10:58Dumb Donald, so dumb.
10:59Spent two years planning bank robbing
11:00and all he stole was?
11:01Deposit slip.
11:02Very good.
11:04Excellent.
11:05You got a good one, too?
11:06I got one hurrah here.
11:07The bank teller.
11:08The bank teller.
11:09Ooh.
11:10This is remarkable.
11:11Deposit slips.
11:12Deposit slips.
11:13I thought that was a definitive answer,
11:14but anyway, you got two there.
11:15Now we go to round two,
11:16and since he's matched all six,
11:17you'll have a choice of A or B.
11:18I'll take A, please.
11:19Okay.
11:20Anything you say.
11:21Perry, you want A?
11:22You've got A.
11:23That's what I said.
11:24That's what I said.
11:25Perry, you've got A.
11:26Perry, you've got A.
11:27Perry, you've got A.
11:28Perry, you've got A.
11:29Perry, you've got A.
11:30Perry, you've got A.
11:31Perry, you've got A.
11:32Perry, you've got A.
11:33That's what I said, one more time.
11:34Mother Goose said.
11:36Ooh.
11:37Sorry.
11:40I'm sorry.
11:41You may not know this,
11:43but Humpty Dumpty really loves pain.
11:47It's strange.
11:49He's the only egg in the world
11:51that blanks himself.
11:56Mother Goose is speaking.
11:59Mother Goose is speaking.
12:00Speaking you may not know this but hunky-dumpty really loves pain and strange. He's the only egg in the world that blanks himself
12:12You have a question you want to ask
12:31Okay
12:32Here we go
12:34mother goose it
12:36You may not know this but hunky-dumpty really loves pain. It's strange
12:41She's the only egg in the world that blanks himself
12:46Hatch
12:53Hatch she said hatch now. She's got a match everybody. I don't care what she said. I said fries fries himself
12:59So that means Mark wins again
13:01Well this lady is not unhappy as she leaves here she's got ten thousand five hundred dollars
13:27If you'd like to come to the studio
13:31In person right to us and close the self-addressed envelope mail-to-tickets match games CBS television city
13:51Well this young fella
13:52What year you and I forgot I'm a senior you're a senior
13:55He's still in college at the University of Texas, and I suppose if he wins some money here
14:01That would be very helpful to him right. Oh, it would definitely be helpful to me. Yes. Now. What is your major?
14:06broadcast journalism
14:08What's that is that college in Denton? Oh, it's in Austin
14:14What's the one in Denton that's North Texas
14:17He's the one who said he went to University of Texas
14:20Which is in Austin, and he saw me do the prisoner of Second Avenue when I was down
14:25Yes, I was brilliant in the park. Yes
14:28And then he said he wished he was at the Denton College. No he didn't say that
14:33Let's get on with it here mark
14:35We pulled a studio audience not too long ago and said let's have you write down your best answer to this
14:40college of blank
14:42If you give us the answer that they wrote down most frequently we give you $500 if you match their second most popular answer
14:50$250 for you, then if you match the third
14:53$100
14:54All right now look around and see who looks as if he or she might have an answer for you
14:59Well for I think I'll pick Brett since he has so many friends in, Texas
15:04This is gonna be fine. I know it's gonna work out for us cuz you're cute. This is another
15:101916 answer
15:14This is for my friend Kelly Rowan College of Musical Knowledge
15:18How
15:211927 right okay who else well, I think I'll try Charles
15:27He doesn't have one college of your choice
15:32And the very pretty Elaine Elaine the College of Interior Design
15:41Elaine you just stuck and you try to boy
15:44When you come up with a loser, that's really a loser
15:47But we don't want to affect your opinion here of which are the good or bad answers there, but that one really stinks
15:55No, that's College of Interior Design College of your choice and College of Musical Knowledge are the three
16:00They've given you now you have a choice of one of those or one of your own. I think I'll go with College of your choice
16:07What would you have said in the second row
16:13Not a bad idea
16:15Hard knocks that's not a bad answer at all you think it's gonna be up there
16:20Okay, let's take a look at the $100 number
16:26College of Cardinals
16:28Yeah, let's take a look at the $100 number
16:32College of Cardinals
16:39Good baseball team
16:45All right, he wants the College of your choice may we see the $250 response
16:52College of Medicine
16:54Now it's kind of an oddball answer. I really wasn't expecting that up there
16:58But College of Hard Knocks and I heard the audience I thought that might be down there somewhere what else
17:04Well school of hard knocks. Oh, all right now. We just let's Fort not know
17:12I am surrounded by weirdos
17:16All right last chance here for College of your choice may we see the $500 number
17:21I
17:28Am really surprised at that too mark Newland
17:32We've got many wonderful prizes for you together with our thanks for being here a match. Thank you
17:37Good luck to you in your college career
17:49Where do those people go they all fall off the cliff
17:53Yeah
17:57Wanted a ride on that
18:00I want to register a complaint. What's your complaint?
18:03I have a lot, but I'm just going to do one. That is it is not College of Hard Knocks
18:08It is school of hard knocks. We all thought we just got a lot of hard knocks
18:12And we said no because it is School of Hard Knocks not calling, but the dingbats who are in the audience had they they said
18:22Commercial message for you, okay
18:27I
18:29Don't know here. I am listen. We're in luck
18:32We're gonna play a quick round of match game with somebody in our studio audience
18:36I'm gonna start up here and ask Brett a question here to fill in this blank
18:40Don't say now say later when I call for it right blank
18:44Sweeper I don't say that now right no write it down
18:47Okay, cuz I'm gonna ask you to hold it up later. You got I gotta find somebody in the studio audience
18:51What side should I go on?
18:59If you don't want to be called on don't raise your hand
19:04All right, if you want to be called on raise your hand. What's your name Stan Corwin?
19:08Where you from Stan San Francisco you're related in Norman Corwin the great writer unfortunately none. You know he is yes, okay?
19:16Well, how would you fill in that blank blank?
19:19sweeper
19:20carpet
19:29Oh
19:35Charles you write down an answer to this one if you would please Pittsburgh blank
19:46Third blank and I get through here and talk to some of these people here. Thank you am I stepping on your purse there
19:52Hello there
19:54How do you know?
19:56My you're heavy, what's your name Amber? Where you from Pittsfield, New Hampshire?
20:01Welcome how would you fill in that blank Pittsburgh blank, Pennsylvania?
20:08No, he doesn't have Pittsburgh Pennsylvania this poor lady. I crushed. How would you fill it in I'd say Pittsburgh Pittsburgh?
20:17Pittsburgh Pittsburgh
20:20Pittsburgh Pittsburgh, no we we say Pittsburgh blank you have to put something in she said, Pennsylvania
20:33Going out of my mind here. Yes, sir. What's your name Terry? Where you from Chicago Pittsburgh? What pilots?
20:41pirates
20:43Pittsburgh Pirates
20:49We have tonight
20:56Today's consolation prizes are
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21:48from Hollywood
22:10You