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00:00This isn't your home.
00:02What are you talking about?
00:03This is the Umbrella Academy.
00:05This is the Sparrow Academy.
00:11Shit.
00:13When we jumped here, we created a time paradox.
00:16Our little paradox brought forth a frickin' kookablitz.
00:19What the hell is a kookablitz?
00:21Essentially, we're screwed.
00:31I'm the god, I'm the connoisseur.
00:32Boy, I wonder what it is.
00:36Everybody else can see Ben, right?
00:38Yeah, and he's a complete dickhead.
00:40They're all dickheads.
00:42Dickheads who can fight.
00:44Next person to say dickhead is getting a punch to the throat.
00:47Dickhead.
00:50We caused a paradox, and that paradox is swallowing things.
00:54How long do we have?
00:55Four, maybe five days before the rest of existence is blitzed.
00:58Not to mention, we've been replaced by a bunch of blobs and cubes and birds and shit.
01:03Your team's good, but I don't think you're better than me.
01:06I entered the world twice, and you?
01:09You're just meat and spandex.
01:11Dad didn't adopt us as babies, but those babies still existed here.
01:15So, if you ever see your other self...
01:16Kill them.
01:17Sleep with them.
01:18Avoid them.
01:19What the hell is wrong with you?
01:20Oh, come on. As if you wouldn't climb Luther Mountain.
01:22Oh, yeah!
01:24It was lightning!
01:26Everybody was fighting!
01:28But then you blew it to me!
01:30Because they all thought you'd lose me!
01:36If I kill you, do we get our Ben back?
01:38What the hell did you just say?
01:44What are you, their mascot?
01:47More like their ringer.
01:54No!
01:59Been looking for you.
02:03Spoiler alert.