Zakir Khan Mann pasand Complete
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Transcript
00:00:00Please welcome to the stage, the one and only, Sato Inoue!
00:00:30That's enough, that's enough.
00:00:37Thank you very much for all the love.
00:00:41It's very overwhelming every time you go on stage.
00:00:48But thank you very much for this response.
00:00:50Thank you very much for giving so much love to Tathaastu.
00:01:00But this show is not about Tathaastu.
00:01:07There won't be anything deep in today's show.
00:01:11If there's anything deep, it's not my concern.
00:01:14It's your share.
00:01:17Sometimes people connect with everything when there's a break-up.
00:01:22They say, listen to the song.
00:01:24So little laughter, so little happiness.
00:01:26It was so little.
00:01:27It came for so many days and left.
00:01:30What did you do to the song?
00:01:34Secondly, I'll tell you a few jokes.
00:01:37So that you can make your own Samanvayas.
00:01:39I'm telling you, you want to listen to Holi on Diwali.
00:01:43Excuse me, there are a lot of people sitting here.
00:01:47I believe there are three types of confidence.
00:01:51The first type of confidence is when a person buys a guitar and says he wants to be a singer.
00:01:58Is there a singer here?
00:02:00What's your name, friend?
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00:05:34Okay.
00:05:35Gonna get a new song, a new fit, old song, no?
00:05:42Okay.
00:05:43Goonj sa hai koi ek turr ek turr.
00:05:50Kya?
00:05:51Goonj sa hai koi ek turr ek turr goonj gaya kya?
00:06:09Gulabi aankhe!
00:06:13Kira chikhna, chillnana nahi, bardaash karunga mai.
00:06:18Toh haan.
00:06:19Toh...
00:06:20Pehle number of confidence woh hotaa hai.
00:06:21Jiske andar insaan jo hai, aana...
00:06:23Guitar keh liyata hai sochke ki main singer bhanunga.
00:06:25Doosra level of confidence mujhe lagta hai, woh hota hai
00:06:28Jiske andar insaan jo hai, baap ki dukan bechke...
00:06:30...apna startup chaaluk karta hai.
00:06:32Usmein baap ki dukan bhi bike jati hai.
00:06:35Phir startup bhi band hojata hai.
00:06:38Khandaan puro naukari karta hai.
00:06:42...
00:06:49...the third confidence is...
00:06:51...which I think is the highest level of confidence.
00:06:53I'm saying this in advance, okay?
00:06:55I've said this before, I'm going to play dumb jokes.
00:06:57Don't try and be gross, okay?
00:06:59The highest level of confidence are the people...
00:07:00...who you're, say...
00:07:02...sitting with in a mall.
00:07:04Sitting in a food court.
00:07:05In front of each other.
00:07:06We're discussing something useful.
00:07:08You're discussing about work and stuff.
00:07:10In a public meeting...
00:07:12in a full public place,
00:07:14they will start pointing fingers at you
00:07:17while eye contacting you.
00:07:22I don't think anyone can be this confident.
00:07:25You're the one who's getting awkward.
00:07:29He's not breaking the eye contact.
00:07:32You're looking at him like,
00:07:33what is this data?
00:07:36AI is data only.
00:07:39AI is data only.
00:07:41If it's not data,
00:07:42then what is it?
00:07:43They're calling data reading
00:07:44machine learning.
00:07:46Isn't it?
00:07:48They'll be like,
00:07:49we have to dig deep into the data.
00:08:00This type of quality joke will do.
00:08:02Will it work?
00:08:05Will it work?
00:08:06Half the people...
00:08:07Half the people have refused.
00:08:08Half the people are like,
00:08:09where will I get a refund?
00:08:12Let's move on.
00:08:16There are a few things
00:08:17that I wanted to share with you
00:08:18in the past year.
00:08:20First of all,
00:08:21I did the Sydney opera.
00:08:32Another big thing
00:08:33that I wanted to share with you
00:08:34is that in 2019,
00:08:36I got my father retired.
00:08:40So, my father is very happy.
00:08:42He's very proud of me also.
00:08:44But,
00:08:46my mother didn't talk to me
00:08:47for three months.
00:08:55She told me,
00:08:56why did you leave me
00:08:57without asking me?
00:09:02Because I didn't know
00:09:03that my father
00:09:04was a retired actor.
00:09:06I didn't know
00:09:07that my father
00:09:08would retire
00:09:09and become like this.
00:09:12Now, he fights 24 hours a day.
00:09:14There's a 60-year-old
00:09:15Shinchan in our house.
00:09:23He fights
00:09:24as soon as he enters the house.
00:09:26I was eating
00:09:27lentil roti in Indore.
00:09:29He came from outside
00:09:30and said,
00:09:31your mother's lentil is burnt.
00:09:32Don't say anything to her.
00:09:34I said,
00:09:35I don't even think
00:09:36the lentil is burnt.
00:09:37He said,
00:09:38it's not her fault.
00:09:39Because
00:09:40no one in her family
00:09:41has ever seen
00:09:42a gas stove.
00:09:45She was lucky
00:09:46that I married her.
00:09:49Otherwise,
00:09:50she lives in the jungle.
00:09:53My life experience
00:09:54says that
00:09:55you shouldn't interfere
00:09:56in your parents' fight.
00:09:57Unless,
00:09:58they are playing
00:09:59a stone game.
00:10:00Don't be a hero.
00:10:01That's an old setting.
00:10:04Mom,
00:10:05shut up.
00:10:09I shouldn't say this.
00:10:10Because,
00:10:11my mom answers
00:10:12after 5 minutes.
00:10:13My mom doesn't
00:10:14answer like this.
00:10:15She said,
00:10:16son,
00:10:17order a pizza.
00:10:18I said,
00:10:19why?
00:10:20Your dad
00:10:21is missing his mom.
00:10:22She used to make
00:10:23pizza for him
00:10:24on the pan.
00:10:29It wasn't like this
00:10:30before.
00:10:31Retirement
00:10:32policy is wrong.
00:10:33The policy
00:10:34is to
00:10:35send a man
00:10:36back home.
00:10:38It's a 35-year
00:10:39schedule.
00:10:41What will he do
00:10:42if you snatch him?
00:10:43That's why
00:10:44all the old men
00:10:45used to go to the SBI.
00:10:52My dad wasn't
00:10:53like this
00:10:54before retirement.
00:10:55My dad was
00:10:56a very different man.
00:10:57He used to
00:10:58give my mom
00:10:59so many sweet pills.
00:11:00No matter what
00:11:01my mom said,
00:11:02my dad
00:11:03used to say,
00:11:04your sister
00:11:05does this,
00:11:06your mother
00:11:07does that,
00:11:08your sisters-in-law
00:11:09said this.
00:11:10My dad used to
00:11:11reply,
00:11:12yes,
00:11:13it's wrong.
00:11:14Customer care
00:11:15language.
00:11:21It shouldn't
00:11:22have happened.
00:11:24Sorry for
00:11:25your inconvenience,
00:11:26mom.
00:11:28Once,
00:11:29my dad went
00:11:30to Shimla with
00:11:31his friends.
00:11:32He didn't call
00:11:33for 1.5 days.
00:11:34First of all,
00:11:35people don't
00:11:36call when they
00:11:37go out.
00:11:38I don't know
00:11:39what's their
00:11:40habit.
00:11:41Update them
00:11:42properly.
00:11:43Tell them
00:11:44if they're alive
00:11:45or dead.
00:11:46Girls in the house,
00:11:47give me a cheer.
00:11:48Have you noticed
00:11:49that people
00:11:50don't update
00:11:51properly when
00:11:52they go out?
00:11:53They never
00:11:54tell them
00:11:55about their
00:11:56whereabouts.
00:11:57If you ask
00:11:58them,
00:11:59they'll talk
00:12:00vaguely.
00:12:01My dad
00:12:02didn't tell me.
00:12:03After 1.5 days,
00:12:04my mom got
00:12:05mad and
00:12:06called my dad.
00:12:07She called
00:12:08in anger.
00:12:09Don't you hear
00:12:10people's voices?
00:12:11Hello?
00:12:14My mom
00:12:15said hello
00:12:16and my dad
00:12:17started talking.
00:12:18I don't feel
00:12:19comfortable here.
00:12:27I only feel
00:12:28comfortable with you.
00:12:30If I leave
00:12:31next time,
00:12:32refuse me.
00:12:33We'll go
00:12:34again next year.
00:12:36Come back.
00:12:37My mom
00:12:38told him.
00:12:39Why?
00:12:40You said
00:12:41if you don't
00:12:42leave,
00:12:43you'll feel
00:12:44good with me.
00:12:45I feel good
00:12:46with you.
00:12:47I'm happy
00:12:48only with you.
00:12:49I laugh
00:12:50with them.
00:12:54They're
00:12:55laughing.
00:12:56You're happy.
00:12:57Laughing
00:12:58is what
00:12:59a happy person
00:13:00needs every day.
00:13:02My mom
00:13:03left in anger
00:13:04and came back
00:13:05feeling shy.
00:13:09My mom
00:13:10is very cute.
00:13:11Mom's heart
00:13:12is also soft.
00:13:13Mom's
00:13:14vada is like
00:13:15what should I
00:13:16do for my kids?
00:13:17What should I
00:13:18feed them?
00:13:19Should I
00:13:20feed them
00:13:21something?
00:13:22Should I
00:13:23feed their friends
00:13:24something?
00:13:25Dad is
00:13:26different.
00:13:27I'll
00:13:28ask him about
00:13:29his career.
00:13:30I'll spoil
00:13:31his mood.
00:13:32I'll ask him
00:13:33about his career.
00:13:34You're going
00:13:35somewhere.
00:13:36You'll get
00:13:37questions.
00:13:38You're going
00:13:39somewhere.
00:13:40I'm going
00:13:41to a party.
00:13:42Where are you
00:13:43going?
00:13:44I was going
00:13:45to a friend's
00:13:46house.
00:13:47You're in a hurry.
00:13:48He'll
00:13:49talk to you
00:13:50slowly.
00:13:57You should
00:13:58sit with
00:13:59your dad
00:14:00sometimes.
00:14:04Come on.
00:14:05He sat.
00:14:06Tell him.
00:14:07He left
00:14:08with a tenner.
00:14:28Have you thought about what you want to do with your life?
00:14:38I said, Papa, I don't even have a final in the evening.
00:14:42Papa, people's emotional connect is a little weak.
00:14:46People's emotional connect is generally a little weak.
00:14:49Everyone loves their mother.
00:14:50But there is only one advantage of being a father.
00:14:53That is, you can have your own child.
00:14:58You can have anyone's child.
00:15:10After the 10th grade, my father asked my friends on the scooter.
00:15:19If someone greets him on the scooter, he will say,
00:15:22Son, how many months are you in the 10th grade?
00:15:24I said, Papa, look in front and drive.
00:15:27It's not like my friends drink from my father.
00:15:31I also make my friends drink a lot from my father.
00:15:34I have a very favorite friend.
00:15:36His name is Kuntal.
00:15:39Kuntal's father's name is Radhe Shyam.
00:15:42Father is a scoundrel, son is very scoundrel.
00:15:48Kuntal's father didn't even give a rupee to Kuntal.
00:15:52So Kuntal is born an aggressive man in low self-esteem.
00:15:56He talks like this.
00:15:57Give me a snack, I'll hold your feet.
00:15:59If you don't feed me, I'll bite you.
00:16:04Kuntal didn't even come to his birthday once.
00:16:07He took a day off from school on his birthday.
00:16:09There was only one day to rob the scoundrel.
00:16:12I have thought a lot about friends like Kuntal.
00:16:15They are given by God.
00:16:18I thought a lot about this.
00:16:19One God, you, God, allots us a ***.
00:16:26He...
00:16:31He is sent by God.
00:16:34Son, you have to take care of him.
00:16:37Because I have thought a lot about him.
00:16:38Why is Kuntal in my life?
00:16:41And I haven't found his logic yet.
00:16:44Because he is not likeable.
00:16:46He is not a good human being.
00:16:49He is not talented. He is just there.
00:16:56The whole world says, Zakir, take a left.
00:16:59I know from my heart that I have to take a left.
00:17:02Einstein will come and say, Zakir, take a left.
00:17:06I will say, okay, cut my hair.
00:17:13He has everything else.
00:17:15He is such an intelligent man.
00:17:16Just cut my hair.
00:17:17We can give one advice to Einstein.
00:17:20He is telling us to take a left.
00:17:21We will also give something.
00:17:25We will also give something.
00:17:31God can ask further, brother.
00:17:33That Zakir, talk to Einstein.
00:17:34I will say, okay, take a left.
00:17:35I know I had to take a left too.
00:17:38I don't know why Kuntal will come on a cycle on a Sunday night.
00:17:45What?
00:17:46Take a right. Right. Right.
00:17:52I know he is an idiot.
00:17:55He is my idiot.
00:18:02It happens.
00:18:06I know I will never take a right.
00:18:09But when I get a chance, I don't know.
00:18:11My body takes a right.
00:18:14And then I realize how wrong it was to take a right.
00:18:19Anyway, it was Kuntal's birthday.
00:18:20We thought it was the only chance to rob a scoundrel like Kuntal.
00:18:23We reach home.
00:18:24We will kick his ass.
00:18:26We will say it's a birthday bomb.
00:18:27And we will drag the scoundrel out of the house.
00:18:29He won't be able to say he didn't bring money from home.
00:18:30He is at home.
00:18:32We will have cold drink and samosa.
00:18:33Fun. Party.
00:18:35We reach home, brother.
00:18:36There was an incident.
00:18:37We don't know where he lives.
00:18:40Kuntal's father grabbed a cigarette from Kuntal's bag.
00:18:44And the rule of friendship is 450.
00:18:46It says.
00:18:51That cigarette is mine.
00:18:54I don't even know that I smoke.
00:18:57And I keep my cigarette lighter
00:19:02in Kuntal's bag.
00:19:07I reach home, sir.
00:19:09Kuntal's father is also there.
00:19:10He started scolding me.
00:19:13Uncle scolded me generically for 5 minutes.
00:19:16I don't know the topic, brother.
00:19:24Kuntal's father is scolding me.
00:19:27I keep apologizing to him.
00:19:31After 5 minutes, uncle said.
00:19:33These pink lips will turn black.
00:19:37I am a positive person.
00:19:39I take things positively.
00:19:41I said, what are you saying, uncle?
00:19:42Pink lips?
00:19:54The next day, I met him in the class.
00:19:55I slapped him.
00:19:57I said, stupid man.
00:19:59Couldn't you tell me that your father grabbed a cigarette?
00:20:03He said, are you mad?
00:20:05Won't you keep your phone if your father grabs a cigarette?
00:20:13He said, the plan is ruined.
00:20:14The whole plan is ruined.
00:20:16He said, your father was sending us all to Goa.
00:20:21I said, was your father sending us to Goa?
00:20:24Your father...
00:20:27Your father won't give us Rs. 2 for food in Goa.
00:20:34He will send us to Goa.
00:20:38Total 22 of us will go to Goa.
00:20:40I have set everything.
00:20:42I have decided what all we will do.
00:20:44We won't go this year, we will go next year.
00:20:46Today itself.
00:20:49I said, you won't go even next year.
00:20:51He said, I will take you.
00:20:52We will go to Goa.
00:20:54I will make sure you remember this party for the rest of your life.
00:20:57Understood?
00:20:58I will break every part of your brain.
00:21:02The swimming pool will be as big as this basketball court.
00:21:07First, I will find a shop.
00:21:09Then, I will find a house.
00:21:11And the car will be so big that each person will come in one car.
00:21:18As the years passed,
00:21:20First, the tension of studies.
00:21:22Then, the tension of job.
00:21:24Life goes on like this.
00:21:26People forget the promises they made in childhood.
00:21:28Like everyone says on farewell,
00:21:29We will be always friends to car.
00:21:31Always.
00:21:33You won't talk in three months.
00:21:35Even we thought that we will stay together.
00:21:37We used to plan like this.
00:21:39When we grow up, we will buy a house in the same building.
00:21:41Not everyone is able to survive on a WhatsApp group.
00:21:45We had the same experience.
00:21:47Then, we started living in Delhi.
00:21:48He used to live in Bangalore.
00:21:49He was a coder.
00:21:50He had joined a start-up.
00:21:52We were working in Radio and Video.
00:21:54After a bad day, we resigned.
00:21:57After resigning, when we were coming in the lift,
00:21:59We resigned from our office.
00:22:00We thought that we will have coffee.
00:22:01But we resigned.
00:22:03After resigning, no one said that they will work.
00:22:06The feeling of resigning is different.
00:22:08We resigned from our job in 2014-15.
00:22:11We thought that we will go down and have tea.
00:22:14On the 6th floor, the lift opened.
00:22:16There is an office there.
00:22:18A beautiful girl came in.
00:22:19She asked me two questions.
00:22:20Which is the coffee shop here?
00:22:21Where is it?
00:22:25We reached the coffee shop.
00:22:26There was only one table empty.
00:22:27There were two chairs in it.
00:22:29We have a water bill.
00:22:31If you give me space, I will spread it.
00:22:35So, this is what happened.
00:22:36By the time I got my last day of job,
00:22:38She asked me,
00:22:39Zakir, let's stay together and see.
00:22:42We will understand what is happening and what is not.
00:22:44Our compatibility is better or not.
00:22:48Look, I can sleep in peace.
00:22:57I passed 12th grade.
00:23:00She did post-graduation from Harvard.
00:23:03She did MBA.
00:23:05She won a gold medal on scholarship.
00:23:09We started living with her.
00:23:10Then we learned new things.
00:23:11For example, the thing kept on the sofa is not called a pillow.
00:23:15It is an important thing.
00:23:16It is a cushion.
00:23:19Cushion is a cushion.
00:23:20It is not a pillow.
00:23:21Our relationship had a different idea.
00:23:23We used to think,
00:23:24The day we will live together,
00:23:25With a girl,
00:23:26Then what will happen?
00:23:27We will take out cotton from the pillows
00:23:29And throw it on each other.
00:23:33My love, come home.
00:23:35Isn't it?
00:23:37It will be like that.
00:23:40In the beginning,
00:23:41There is such a class difference
00:23:42That your habits are also different.
00:23:44And girls have their own hygiene concepts.
00:23:47You have a different kind of concept.
00:23:50So, it was the first day.
00:23:52We took a bath and left.
00:23:53Then she came to take a bath.
00:23:55She took two more minutes.
00:23:56Zakir, come here for two minutes.
00:23:57I said, yes.
00:23:58Tell me.
00:23:59She said, you left the bathroom wet.
00:24:04Her name is bathroom.
00:24:10How can I leave her?
00:24:13She closed the door.
00:24:15This is a big deal for me.
00:24:17That I don't have to sing while taking a bath.
00:24:20I felt very defensive.
00:24:22I didn't know this.
00:24:23And then I had to believe that
00:24:24Personal attack is the best kind of defense.
00:24:28I felt so.
00:24:31So, I said,
00:24:33I said, you have grown up so much.
00:24:35Didn't you take a bath in a wet bathroom?
00:24:43She didn't say anything.
00:24:44She got quiet.
00:24:46And I have a water account.
00:24:48If you give me space, I will spread it.
00:24:51I thought, one punch landed.
00:24:52Give me one more.
00:24:56I said, how were you going to take a bath?
00:24:58You would have taken a shower and taken a bath.
00:25:00What would have happened then?
00:25:01Wouldn't the bathroom be wet again?
00:25:03Why are you conflicting for two minutes?
00:25:06Some things can be solved without fighting.
00:25:08Take a bath quietly.
00:25:13Your brother came out quietly.
00:25:16She took a bath.
00:25:17She took a bath and came out.
00:25:18After that, what she did to me.
00:25:24I have a low GB RAM.
00:25:28I can't upload heavy files.
00:25:32So, if you fight with me for a long time,
00:25:33I feel sleepy.
00:25:36In just 10 minutes,
00:25:37her machine got overheated.
00:25:39In just 10 minutes,
00:25:40her machine got overheated.
00:25:43I am feeling sleepy.
00:25:46She is telling me,
00:25:47Zakir, you cannot.
00:25:48I said, what can I do?
00:25:51She broke it in my hand.
00:25:54I am feeling sleepy.
00:25:55I am listening.
00:25:58You have three minutes.
00:26:00I went into a dream world.
00:26:03I enjoyed it.
00:26:04I feel sleepy.
00:26:06Some people say,
00:26:07Zakir, how can you sleep?
00:26:08Enjoyable.
00:26:14I don't know how to dream.
00:26:16Forget about dreams,
00:26:17I don't know how to urinate.
00:26:21I woke up in the morning.
00:26:22I woke up at 8 or 8.30 am.
00:26:23She had to go to the office.
00:26:25She had to go to the office.
00:26:26She had to go to the office.
00:26:27She opened her eyes
00:26:28and started hitting me.
00:26:30One thing I told you, Zakir,
00:26:31in the beginning of the relationship,
00:26:32that I hate,
00:26:33I hate,
00:26:34I hate sleeping.
00:26:35I hate sleeping with a fight.
00:26:36I hate sleeping with a fight.
00:26:37What kind of a thing is this?
00:26:39I don't know what people
00:26:40have written on Instagram.
00:26:41Never sleep with a fight.
00:26:42I am feeling sleepy.
00:26:52There were big wars of Mahabharata.
00:26:56They also used to say,
00:26:57done in the evening.
00:27:04Now,
00:27:06we will do it in the morning.
00:27:08Not now.
00:27:11She started hitting me
00:27:12as soon as I opened my eyes.
00:27:13She started hitting me
00:27:14as soon as I opened my eyes.
00:27:16I am telling you,
00:27:17everything she said is right.
00:27:18Everything she said is
00:27:19absolutely correct.
00:27:21But still,
00:27:22you will have to give me
00:27:2330 seconds buffering time
00:27:24in human consideration.
00:27:27My school trauma
00:27:28has not gone yet.
00:27:30I wake up and I feel
00:27:31I am late.
00:27:36I am wondering
00:27:37who is awake.
00:27:39Who is screaming?
00:27:42She puts all her passion
00:27:43into fighting.
00:27:45Then when she leaves
00:27:46after that,
00:27:47she feels bad
00:27:48that she screamed too much.
00:27:50She said too much.
00:27:52Then she laughs at herself.
00:27:54Poor thing,
00:27:55won't he sleep?
00:27:57He is sleepy
00:27:58and I slapped him.
00:28:01He is sleepy
00:28:02and I slapped him.
00:28:03He is sleepy
00:28:04and I slapped him.
00:28:11I believe that
00:28:12I want to write a letter
00:28:13to the Olympic Association
00:28:14of the World and India
00:28:16that
00:28:17over thinking
00:28:18should be added
00:28:19to the Olympics.
00:28:25After that,
00:28:26my country's daughters
00:28:27will make us proud.
00:28:29First of all,
00:28:30the girl should be
00:28:31out of the league.
00:28:32Maintain an impression
00:28:33in front of her.
00:28:34Then your friends
00:28:35should make
00:28:36a better impression
00:28:37in front of them.
00:28:38On top of that,
00:28:39fights are going on.
00:28:41Which I think
00:28:42is normal in a relationship.
00:28:43If there are fights
00:28:44in your relationship,
00:28:45if two people
00:28:46live together,
00:28:47then they will have
00:28:48a conflict.
00:28:49If fights are going on,
00:28:50then the relationship
00:28:51is going well.
00:28:52If you don't have
00:28:53fights,
00:28:54then the fight
00:28:55is somewhere else
00:28:56and you are managing.
00:28:58The fight
00:28:59is somewhere else
00:29:00and you are managing.
00:29:08It's better
00:29:09to keep a small distance.
00:29:11This much is fine.
00:29:16Now her friends
00:29:17are coming.
00:29:19Girls want
00:29:20their friends
00:29:21to meet first.
00:29:22They want
00:29:23to meet quickly
00:29:24and know
00:29:25if they are idiots.
00:29:26His friends are in front of him, giving him impressions.
00:29:29Such a relationship, such a performance.
00:29:31Right?
00:29:32In front of his friends, your brother is also ultra-modern.
00:29:35He's like, will you have tea or coffee?
00:29:38Tea or coffee? I'll make it.
00:29:39One minute. It's okay.
00:29:43He's picking up the plates.
00:29:49But one thing is that we make our friends,
00:29:52our girlfriend, whom we love, meet very late.
00:29:55The main reason for that is that she's not worthy, first of all.
00:30:02Boys make their girlfriends meet very late.
00:30:06When they're applying vermilion.
00:30:08Look, brother.
00:30:10Looking good?
00:30:14She's your sister-in-law.
00:30:16She's your sister-in-law.
00:30:17Yes, sister-in-law.
00:30:22At that time, I observed the girls' group.
00:30:24How their group is.
00:30:25There are a few good things in the girls' group,
00:30:27which I want to highlight in their group.
00:30:30First of all, the girls have a good balance of money.
00:30:34If, let's say, it's 319 rupees,
00:30:37they don't become 320 after the round-off.
00:30:40They remain 319 only.
00:30:42They take what they have to, and most of the time, they give it on time.
00:30:46One is that he's ours.
00:30:47He's a pig.
00:30:54Give them 319 rupees,
00:30:56they'll return it with 50-60 rupees.
00:30:58And after 200, they'll say,
00:31:00we're done.
00:31:03What kind of a calculation is this?
00:31:09Another thing is,
00:31:10let's say, their way of eating,
00:31:12where to go,
00:31:13that's a big discussion.
00:31:15First, there's a song.
00:31:17It starts with a song.
00:31:19Tum Batao.
00:31:22There's a song called,
00:31:23Tum Batao.
00:31:24Tum Batao, Tum Batao, Tum Batao,
00:31:26Tum Batao, Tum Batao, Tum Batao,
00:31:27Tum Batao, Tum Batao, Tum Batao,
00:31:28Tum Batao, Tum Batao, Tum Batao,
00:31:30Everyone...
00:31:32Consent is very important.
00:31:34That everyone agrees.
00:31:36And then, in the group,
00:31:37the one whose life is the worst,
00:31:40is made the leader.
00:31:41Whatever she says,
00:31:42will happen.
00:31:46Life's decisions,
00:31:47she can't make on her own.
00:31:50She chooses a restaurant.
00:31:56Friendship between boys
00:31:57is a hardware friendship.
00:31:59There's no place for emotions,
00:32:00but there's complete help.
00:32:02You say, I want to set up a girl.
00:32:03She says, tell me what to do.
00:32:04Do you want a bike?
00:32:06Do you want a house?
00:32:07Do you want a bungalow?
00:32:08Do you want parents?
00:32:10When I call my friend
00:32:11and tell him,
00:32:12I've had a fight.
00:32:13Reach right now.
00:32:15When he's putting the keys
00:32:16in his bike,
00:32:17he knows he'll get beaten up
00:32:18and I'll get beaten up.
00:32:20But he comes,
00:32:21because we come.
00:32:29Friendship between boys
00:32:30is based on a basic principle,
00:32:31which is,
00:32:32the brother said, do it.
00:32:35The mother said,
00:32:36do it.
00:32:38People are supporting you
00:32:39in a murder case.
00:32:40He said, you said,
00:32:41you'll support me.
00:32:43He said, I said,
00:32:44let's go.
00:32:52One day, we were sitting like this.
00:32:53My phone rang.
00:32:54I picked up the phone.
00:32:55I thought,
00:32:56it must be a lone one.
00:32:57I spoke in a loud voice.
00:32:58She was sitting next to me.
00:32:59Suddenly, I heard a voice.
00:33:01Hello, yes,
00:33:02it's dad.
00:33:05Why would dad
00:33:06call from that number?
00:33:08I switched off the loudspeaker.
00:33:09She asked,
00:33:10is it uncle?
00:33:11I said, it's not uncle.
00:33:15I said, yes, tell me.
00:33:17She said, do you recognize
00:33:18who I'm talking to?
00:33:20I said, yes, tell me.
00:33:22She said, tell me
00:33:23who I'm talking to.
00:33:25Now, this is a trick question.
00:33:27Whatever answer you give,
00:33:28you'll get trapped.
00:33:29I said, yes, Kuntal,
00:33:30tell me.
00:33:32She said, well done.
00:33:33Every father should have
00:33:34a son like you.
00:33:37Once, I recognized
00:33:38my father's voice.
00:33:41I said, yes, yes.
00:33:43She said, it's nothing.
00:33:44I've landed at the airport.
00:33:45I'm sitting in a taxi.
00:33:46I'm coming to your house.
00:33:50I said,
00:33:53I said, brother,
00:33:57I wanted to tell you
00:33:58that I actually
00:33:59live with my girlfriend.
00:34:02She said, you found her too?
00:34:07What kind of language is this?
00:34:10Is this a language
00:34:11you use with your friends?
00:34:14I said, yes, I found her.
00:34:15She said, did you change your house?
00:34:16Did you make Vishwas run away?
00:34:18I said, no, I didn't make him run away.
00:34:19He lives on the third floor.
00:34:20I live on the fifth floor.
00:34:21She said, in the same building?
00:34:22She said, the address hasn't changed.
00:34:23I put it in the cab.
00:34:26This is her concern.
00:34:30I said, so,
00:34:31for how many days will he come?
00:34:32She said, you didn't ask before.
00:34:33I said,
00:34:35still, tell me.
00:34:37She said, I won't tell you.
00:34:38I'm coming.
00:34:47Kuntal doesn't have the audacity
00:34:48to meet any girl.
00:34:50Because he's had an accident once.
00:34:53It was the second year, sir.
00:34:54We had an affair
00:34:55with someone for 2-3 months.
00:34:57We were drinking juice
00:34:58at a juice shop.
00:34:59My phone rang.
00:35:00I went outside.
00:35:01I spoke on the phone for 2 minutes.
00:35:02In the meantime,
00:35:03a cycle tyre
00:35:04came between my legs.
00:35:08I looked at Kuntal.
00:35:09He said,
00:35:10what are you doing here?
00:35:14You're my father.
00:35:16What do you mean
00:35:17I can go anywhere?
00:35:19I said, talk to me with respect.
00:35:20I'm with a girl.
00:35:22He said, oh, sorry.
00:35:23What are you doing here, sir?
00:35:24He said, oh, sorry.
00:35:25What are you doing here, sir?
00:35:31He said, where's the girl?
00:35:32Show me.
00:35:34I said, what do you mean show me?
00:35:36I didn't buy a car.
00:35:39I said, get lost.
00:35:41He said, oh, no.
00:35:42There's no girl.
00:35:46He said, where is she?
00:35:47Sit inside.
00:35:48I said, yes.
00:35:51I said, go.
00:35:52He said,
00:35:53it's torn.
00:35:54Should I ask?
00:35:55Should I go and ask?
00:35:56I said, go and ask.
00:35:59He went inside.
00:36:00He said,
00:36:03excuse me.
00:36:12It was so awkward
00:36:13that no one was
00:36:14randomly apologizing.
00:36:15I said,
00:36:16she's my childhood friend.
00:36:18She said, okay.
00:36:19Yes, tell me.
00:36:20He said,
00:36:23I wanted to ask.
00:36:28He said,
00:36:29should I ask openly?
00:36:31I said, don't ask openly.
00:36:33Get out of here.
00:36:35Girls like
00:36:36crazy guys like this.
00:36:38They have a lot of fun.
00:36:41He said, she's so cute.
00:36:42He said,
00:36:43do this.
00:36:44I said,
00:36:45let him ask.
00:36:46You ask openly.
00:36:48He said,
00:36:49I wanted to ask,
00:36:50are you her setting?
00:36:51Are you her setting?
00:36:53I said,
00:36:54let him ask more openly.
00:36:57This type of guy
00:36:58is coming here.
00:36:59Our Harvard
00:37:00masters.
00:37:03My India
00:37:04is meeting my India.
00:37:14And I am not
00:37:15comfortable.
00:37:17My heart
00:37:18is beating fast.
00:37:22Kuntal entered the house
00:37:23very politely.
00:37:24Very straight.
00:37:25Kuntal was pressed.
00:37:28He said,
00:37:29hello, hi, hi,
00:37:30how are you?
00:37:31My name is Kuntal.
00:37:32He told me his name.
00:37:33I said, okay.
00:37:34What do you do?
00:37:35Good question.
00:37:37This leads to
00:37:38educational questions.
00:37:40Which is a four minute piece.
00:37:42You don't have to do anything
00:37:43for four minutes.
00:37:44You can sit on the sofa.
00:37:46I said, okay.
00:37:47I work here.
00:37:48I said,
00:37:49what do I have to do for this?
00:37:50He said,
00:37:51I did my masters
00:37:52from Harvard.
00:37:53I will work here
00:37:54for 2-3 years.
00:37:55Then I will start my own thing.
00:37:56Or whatever.
00:37:57I will see.
00:37:58I will consult.
00:37:59He said something like this.
00:38:00So usually people
00:38:01ask for a batch,
00:38:02course,
00:38:03specification.
00:38:04What did you study from there?
00:38:05But Kuntal?
00:38:07Kuntal is Kuntal.
00:38:09Kuntal is half human.
00:38:11Kuntal is not a human.
00:38:13Kuntal will ask a new question.
00:38:14Kuntal said,
00:38:15where is Harvard?
00:38:20I was sitting on the sofa.
00:38:21I stood up.
00:38:22I said,
00:38:23what did he ask?
00:38:25Where did this train go?
00:38:27Madam also got a little
00:38:28off balance.
00:38:30She said,
00:38:31Harvard is in
00:38:32Boston,
00:38:33in the US.
00:38:34I said,
00:38:35okay.
00:38:36You did a course
00:38:37from distance learning.
00:38:40And you didn't wait
00:38:41for a yes or no answer.
00:38:43I felt like
00:38:44my stomach was
00:38:45full of food.
00:38:46I said,
00:38:47okay.
00:38:48I felt like
00:38:49my stomach was
00:38:50full of food.
00:38:52And after that,
00:38:53for five minutes,
00:38:54he kept talking about
00:38:55distance learning.
00:38:57That Manipal University
00:38:58has also started
00:38:59a lot of courses.
00:39:00Distance learning
00:39:01is very important
00:39:02these days.
00:39:05And this thing,
00:39:06those who are married,
00:39:07who have ever lived
00:39:08with a girl,
00:39:09they know
00:39:10this secret,
00:39:11which only we know.
00:39:12Girls have a super power
00:39:13that they can make
00:39:14their favorite man
00:39:15scream with their eyes.
00:39:17He is only
00:39:18listening to her.
00:39:20She said to me,
00:39:21who is this idiot?
00:39:25Take him away from here.
00:39:27The way I got scolded,
00:39:28I did the same.
00:39:29I said,
00:39:30Kuntal, let's go
00:39:31and smoke on the terrace.
00:39:32Kuntal said,
00:39:33don't keep quiet.
00:39:34I said,
00:39:35I have to do
00:39:36distance learning.
00:39:37It's very important.
00:39:38In education,
00:39:39skill development
00:39:40is very important.
00:39:41This thing is
00:39:42going on in India.
00:39:43The start-up bubble
00:39:44of 2015-16 was
00:39:45ball-dropped.
00:39:46The atmosphere
00:39:47was very bad.
00:39:48I said,
00:39:49there is nothing
00:39:50in India.
00:39:51Life is short.
00:39:52I will go abroad.
00:39:53What is there here?
00:39:54There is no one here.
00:39:55I said,
00:39:56what happened?
00:39:58She said,
00:39:59I broke up.
00:40:00I said,
00:40:01what happened?
00:40:02Everything was fine with you.
00:40:03She said,
00:40:04I don't know.
00:40:05She went to the US
00:40:06on-site.
00:40:07She came back from there
00:40:08and said,
00:40:09she is not feeling
00:40:10the excitement.
00:40:11She is not feeling
00:40:12the butterfly in her stomach.
00:40:14I said,
00:40:16how can I
00:40:17take care
00:40:18of animals?
00:40:23She said,
00:40:24let's be friends.
00:40:25I don't want
00:40:26a relationship.
00:40:27Friendship?
00:40:28If we were
00:40:29friends from the start,
00:40:30I would have been
00:40:31friends with her.
00:40:32How can I be
00:40:33friends after
00:40:34two years of relationship?
00:40:35There are a lot of friends.
00:40:36It's a crowd.
00:40:39I refused.
00:40:40I said,
00:40:41girls have
00:40:42some doubts
00:40:43about this relationship.
00:40:44Just give her time.
00:40:45Maybe she will
00:40:46settle in a few days.
00:40:47You know.
00:40:48Maybe she will
00:40:49come back.
00:40:50I said,
00:40:53look,
00:40:54I don't expect
00:40:55batting.
00:40:56I don't enjoy
00:40:57fielding.
00:41:05Kuntal says
00:41:06anything.
00:41:07I enjoy it.
00:41:08Kuntal tells
00:41:09any story.
00:41:10I don't know why
00:41:12the world thinks
00:41:13he is an idiot.
00:41:14I enjoy it.
00:41:17He says,
00:41:18let's go to Goa.
00:41:20Let's go to Goa.
00:41:21We couldn't go to
00:41:22our school trip
00:41:23because Kuntal
00:41:24planned it.
00:41:25If a good boy
00:41:26planned it,
00:41:27we would have
00:41:28gone to Goa.
00:41:29Kuntal planned it.
00:41:30I said,
00:41:31we will go to Goa
00:41:32no matter what.
00:41:33We have to go to Goa.
00:41:34My birthday is coming
00:41:35next week.
00:41:36Everyone should know
00:41:37that my life is cool.
00:41:38He should know.
00:41:39I am not alone.
00:41:40I don't have
00:41:41a single childhood friend.
00:41:42I want everyone.
00:41:43You are the worst.
00:41:44You are the worst.
00:41:45Don't become a slave
00:41:46because of your wife.
00:41:48It's simple.
00:41:49Spend time
00:41:50with your girlfriend.
00:41:51Spend time with us.
00:41:52Boys don't know
00:41:53how to communicate.
00:41:55Why do you have
00:41:56to say all this?
00:41:57Stop taunting me.
00:41:58I said,
00:41:59let's go.
00:42:01By the way,
00:42:02the company I told you about,
00:42:03the company
00:42:04where I used to work,
00:42:05I am selling my share
00:42:06in that company.
00:42:07I got an investment.
00:42:08I will get 6 crores.
00:42:10I said,
00:42:11I am not enjoying it.
00:42:12Money doesn't make it fun.
00:42:13It's fun when you have
00:42:14a partner.
00:42:15I am very happy
00:42:16to see you.
00:42:17The girl is good.
00:42:18She is a little irritating
00:42:19but she is good.
00:42:22I said,
00:42:23okay, okay.
00:42:24He is talking nonsense.
00:42:25He is laughing.
00:42:26Look,
00:42:27if you are living well
00:42:28and you are married,
00:42:29you will agree
00:42:30that when you
00:42:31leave your partner
00:42:32and go out,
00:42:33you feel like
00:42:34you left a time bomb
00:42:35at home.
00:42:36And the later you come,
00:42:37the more it will explode.
00:42:41Look,
00:42:42the people in the middle
00:42:43have related it.
00:42:45No, no.
00:42:46I came back.
00:42:47I was reading my book.
00:42:48As soon as he came,
00:42:49he commented on me.
00:42:50He said,
00:42:51you were laughing
00:42:52very loudly.
00:42:54I said,
00:42:55if you don't laugh
00:42:56with a friend,
00:42:57when will you laugh?
00:42:58I said,
00:42:59he is my friend.
00:43:00He came.
00:43:01He said,
00:43:02you don't laugh
00:43:03with me that much.
00:43:04I said,
00:43:05you were not with me
00:43:06even in school.
00:43:07I mean,
00:43:08it's a matter of context.
00:43:09Then I thought,
00:43:10why should I fight with him?
00:43:12I should be like my father.
00:43:19I said,
00:43:20I laugh with him
00:43:21because he is like me.
00:43:32But there is happiness.
00:43:35A person needs happiness
00:43:36all the time
00:43:37but sometimes
00:43:38laughter and happiness
00:43:39are together.
00:43:43She came to me
00:43:44and then I felt
00:43:45that she was wrong.
00:43:47Because my mom
00:43:48is illiterate.
00:43:49She can't do it.
00:43:52I don't know,
00:43:53she can't do it
00:43:54with people from Harvard.
00:43:56She came and
00:43:57stood right in front of me.
00:43:58Right here.
00:43:59Then she held my face
00:44:00and said,
00:44:01she has convinced me
00:44:02by saying all this.
00:44:09Look sir,
00:44:10there is only one trick.
00:44:13If you know it,
00:44:14it works everywhere.
00:44:16If you don't know it,
00:44:17it doesn't work.
00:44:20Now because
00:44:21for four hours
00:44:22I have been
00:44:23laughing with
00:44:24my childhood friend
00:44:25and now
00:44:27in compensation
00:44:28I said,
00:44:29let's go out
00:44:30to eat.
00:44:32Going out
00:44:33to eat with my partner
00:44:34is a big thing.
00:44:36I said,
00:44:37going out
00:44:38to eat with my partner
00:44:39is a very difficult task.
00:44:41Because
00:44:42they usually believe
00:44:43that you should guess
00:44:44what is in their mind.
00:44:46And then
00:44:47especially when it comes
00:44:48to food,
00:44:49after that
00:44:50you should suggest
00:44:51and suggest
00:44:52in such a way
00:44:53that you almost
00:44:54convince them
00:44:55that what is in their mind
00:44:56is in your mind
00:44:57and that's what
00:44:58we are going to eat.
00:45:00It's very simple.
00:45:02It's not very difficult.
00:45:04It's not very difficult.
00:45:05It's simple.
00:45:07There are a lot of people
00:45:08who are like this.
00:45:10They ask me,
00:45:11what do you feel like eating?
00:45:12Tell me.
00:45:14I said, let's go to India
00:45:15and eat Indian food.
00:45:16You eat Indian food
00:45:17every day.
00:45:18You eat Indian food
00:45:19at home and outside.
00:45:21I said, you tell me.
00:45:22Do you eat anything else?
00:45:23Do you eat Chinese food?
00:45:24Do you feel like eating Chinese food?
00:45:26Will you eat Chinese food?
00:45:29I said, you tell me
00:45:30if you want to eat anything else.
00:45:31Will you eat Chinese food
00:45:32or will you eat pasta?
00:45:34I said, let's eat pasta then.
00:45:36If you want to eat pasta,
00:45:37then let's eat pasta.
00:45:38What about us?
00:45:39We don't feel like eating anything.
00:45:43They come to me every day
00:45:44and ask me,
00:45:45how was your day?
00:45:46I don't know.
00:45:48How does the wall know
00:45:49how his day went?
00:45:52Will you eat pasta?
00:45:53Will you eat pasta?
00:45:54Will you eat pasta?
00:45:55Will you eat pasta?
00:45:58I said, okay,
00:45:59then let's eat pasta.
00:46:00Or will you eat Chinese food?
00:46:04I said, no,
00:46:05if you want to eat pasta,
00:46:06then let's eat pasta.
00:46:07No, no, no, no.
00:46:09I don't want to eat.
00:46:10I'm asking you.
00:46:11You like pasta, right?
00:46:12So I'm asking you.
00:46:13I said, I like Indian food.
00:46:15He's confusing me so much.
00:46:20I said, I...
00:46:22Am I confusing you?
00:46:25I used to live with Vishwas.
00:46:26That was a time.
00:46:29I haven't spoken to him
00:46:30since three months.
00:46:31He lives in his room.
00:46:32I live in my room.
00:46:34I open the door
00:46:35and say, hey.
00:46:36He says, what?
00:46:37He takes his laptop.
00:46:38I say, you're an idiot.
00:46:41He says, you're an idiot.
00:46:44The ice breaks.
00:46:45Small talk.
00:46:46That's it.
00:46:47Come to the point.
00:46:48Let's go eat.
00:46:49I said, let's go.
00:46:51In 30 seconds,
00:46:52we're in an auto.
00:46:53We're in an auto.
00:47:01The first restaurant we found,
00:47:03we ate there.
00:47:07He eats veg.
00:47:08I eat non-veg.
00:47:10He orders his own.
00:47:12I order mine.
00:47:13And the married people here
00:47:14are crying over this.
00:47:19He looks at his phone.
00:47:21I look at my phone.
00:47:29With zero words,
00:47:31we eat and come back.
00:47:35Then he's in his room
00:47:36for three months.
00:47:41We take him to eat.
00:47:42We're sitting.
00:47:43She's telling us something.
00:47:44We have a group of five.
00:47:45You're with three people.
00:47:46You're not with two people.
00:47:47You're not with Noshin and Deepti.
00:47:49Okay?
00:47:50But you're with Tracy.
00:47:51You're with Shikha.
00:47:52And you're with me, of course.
00:47:54Okay?
00:47:56We don't know how.
00:47:57It's going on.
00:47:58After a while,
00:47:59it turns into music.
00:48:05Kuntal started
00:48:06a WhatsApp group.
00:48:07Six WhatsApp groups.
00:48:10Different names.
00:48:11Kuntal Birthday Goa Trip.
00:48:13Kuntal Birthday Goa Trip.
00:48:15Non-cancellable.
00:48:17Finally, a group.
00:48:18We made a group.
00:48:19Legend Kuntal Birthday Goa Trip.
00:48:21Non-cancellable.
00:48:23I said, what's happening?
00:48:24The first message.
00:48:25Hello, guys.
00:48:26We are all going to Goa.
00:48:27Send a greeting message.
00:48:29The first message.
00:48:30Send Aadhaar card details.
00:48:31Booking flights.
00:48:37I said, Kuntal,
00:48:38this is not how it is.
00:48:39You have to give...
00:48:40When are we leaving?
00:48:41When are we coming back?
00:48:42Give some clarity.
00:48:43I said, what will you do?
00:48:44You're unemployed.
00:48:45He said, Kuntal,
00:48:46you're unemployed.
00:48:50I lost my mind.
00:48:51I blocked him.
00:48:52I said, he doesn't deserve it.
00:48:53He should stop talking
00:48:54on the 11th.
00:48:55I felt really bad.
00:48:56I kept my phone aside.
00:48:58And I noticed
00:49:01that she's not speaking
00:49:02for 30 seconds.
00:49:06The song is off
00:49:07for 30 seconds.
00:49:10I thought,
00:49:11I'm in a crisis.
00:49:12The crisis has come now.
00:49:16I said,
00:49:17tell me,
00:49:18did Deepti
00:49:19break up with someone?
00:49:46The topic is,
00:49:48if your girlfriend
00:49:49cries in a crowded restaurant,
00:49:51you get a heart attack.
00:49:57Because it's not like
00:49:58your girlfriend
00:49:59will get upset with you.
00:50:00It's a two-person equation.
00:50:01They'll handle it.
00:50:03But the rest of the people
00:50:04in the restaurant,
00:50:06they don't care.
00:50:07They don't care.
00:50:08They don't care.
00:50:09They don't care.
00:50:10They don't care.
00:50:11They don't care.
00:50:12They don't care.
00:50:13They don't care.
00:50:14They don't care.
00:50:15They are judging you.
00:50:18That you're a devil.
00:50:21You're a fool.
00:50:23Look at your tears.
00:50:24You're like a pearl.
00:50:28You're a lowlife.
00:50:30The waiter would have
00:50:31given her water
00:50:32because she's a maid.
00:50:33Otherwise,
00:50:34he'd have punched her.
00:50:39Then it's normalcy.
00:50:41It's 12 or 12.30 am.
00:50:42I didn't even touch the phone.
00:50:44Roshni, I wanted to tell you something.
00:50:45Are you sure you won't get upset?
00:50:47You won't get angry, right?
00:50:50Friends, boys in the house, give me a cheer.
00:50:53If your girlfriend says,
00:50:55you won't get upset or angry with me,
00:50:57then 90% chances are that you'll enjoy it.
00:51:02Getting upset is a far-fetched thing.
00:51:0510% chances are that you won't feel anything.
00:51:09But 0% chances are that you'll feel bad.
00:51:12The thing that you'll feel bad about doesn't have this tone.
00:51:16The thing that will break your heart doesn't have this tone.
00:51:19As an individual, if I have to do something,
00:51:21if I can't do anything, this is the tone.
00:51:25The thing that breaks your heart doesn't have this tone.
00:51:27This is the tone. Are you upset?
00:51:31You won't get angry, right?
00:51:38She said, don't touch the phone now. Listen to me.
00:51:40Listen to me. I told her, look at you.
00:51:43I told you about Deepti, right?
00:51:44She broke up with him.
00:51:46She broke up with him badly.
00:51:48So, all of us girls were thinking
00:51:50that we should give her a treat.
00:51:52We should get her to retreat somewhere.
00:51:54So, all five of us were going to Goa.
00:52:01So, everyone was saying that
00:52:03if a boy stays with her, it'll be great.
00:52:06So, I booked your ticket.
00:52:14First of all,
00:52:19I wish I could kill him.
00:52:22I wish I could kill him.
00:52:26I enjoyed it.
00:52:28But I can't do it all of a sudden.
00:52:35I...
00:52:40I said...
00:52:43I said, no, no. What can I do?
00:52:46It's your girls' trip.
00:52:52She said, please, I'm okay.
00:53:01Now, these girls are going away with the photos.
00:53:04Goa... Sorry, Delhi airport.
00:53:06I hope they don't leave a corner where they don't want to take photos.
00:53:09She's not taking a single photo of me.
00:53:12I feel like taking a photo of me
00:53:14so that I can upload it on the boys' school group.
00:53:18They haven't seen five girls.
00:53:21They'll lick poison with five girls
00:53:22wherever they see me in the photos.
00:53:28It'll be fun.
00:53:30I want to see them die.
00:53:33She didn't want to take a photo of me.
00:53:35Because they want to maintain on social media
00:53:36that they're a girl gang.
00:53:38The girls plan everything.
00:53:40They'll do everything one by one.
00:53:42The maximum discount is from the left side to the right side.
00:53:45They've planned everything.
00:53:46They've booked a flight for just Rs. 2.
00:53:51There's a French boutique hotel.
00:53:53And they've booked a car from a new app.
00:53:56And they've brought so much food for each other.
00:53:58They care for each other so much
00:53:59that the air hostess thinks I'm useless.
00:54:03Okay, sir.
00:54:04We've landed at the Goa airport.
00:54:05We'll go out. We'll do this and that.
00:54:07Don't over-plan. Plan.
00:54:08If you don't screw up on a trip, what's the fun in it?
00:54:11If you open one or two things,
00:54:12that's when you enjoy the trip.
00:54:14They've booked a car from such a cheap app.
00:54:22Instead of Innova, they've sent WagonR.
00:54:26And the car is mid-season.
00:54:28They can't find a car.
00:54:29They can't find a car.
00:54:31All five of them are standing there and making noises.
00:54:36If someone made too much noise, I would've been scared.
00:54:40I met Deepti for the first time there.
00:54:43She was watching a movie with her headphones on.
00:54:46She came there and started talking for the first time.
00:54:47And when she started talking, I realized why she was quiet.
00:54:51There are some people whose voice is suppressed by God.
00:54:54He says, don't talk.
00:54:57But they still talk.
00:54:59Deepti was one of those people whose voice is suppressed by God.
00:55:01I was like, what kind of a person is she?
00:55:05I have motion sickness. I'll sit in the front seat.
00:55:08What's there in WagonR?
00:55:16It's okay. I'll sit in the front seat.
00:55:18She sat in the front seat.
00:55:19It's okay. She'll sit in the front seat.
00:55:20Her girlfriend will sit in the front seat.
00:55:21Why did you sit in the front seat?
00:55:22She sat in the front seat. She didn't talk to me.
00:55:24She talked to me in the third person.
00:55:26Tell her to get out of here quickly.
00:55:29Who sits next to you and talks like this?
00:55:32Ask her what she wants to eat.
00:55:34She'll eat something.
00:55:36I said, tell her I'll eat spicy cottage cheese.
00:55:40Tell her that I'll eat spicy cottage cheese.
00:55:47If I had trusted her, I would have had a terrible trip.
00:55:51She started bad-mouthing a girl named Sandeepa.
00:55:56I enjoyed it.
00:55:59Even I am very interested in gossiping.
00:56:03I don't have a sister at home.
00:56:04It's the fault of the entire family.
00:56:05I do it with my mother.
00:56:10We reached a French boutique hotel.
00:56:13There were two owners.
00:56:15I got down, but I couldn't get down.
00:56:17I drove for two and a half hours in a traffic jam.
00:56:19My legs became numb.
00:56:21I don't have legs.
00:56:23I googled what polio is in youth.
00:56:28They split them open.
00:56:30When you can't get down, why do you leap?
00:56:34When you can't get down, you should go up.
00:56:38It🤣🤣***
00:56:45There are three rooms and six people.
00:56:47How is this possible?
00:56:48Two girls and a guy are seated.
00:56:49What about the divide?
00:56:51I was packing my stuff and people started telling me to stand back.
00:56:54I was somewhere else. I couldn't talk to you.
00:56:57It's been so long since we've met.
00:56:59I was thinking I'll sleep with you tonight.
00:57:04Oh, sorry. She's here too.
00:57:09The thing is, this woman's Doraemon doesn't know...
00:57:18...that I've been beating him up for two and a half hours.
00:57:20I've been beating him up for two and a half hours.
00:57:24What the hell is this?
00:57:27I'm not a chimpanzee.
00:57:30I'm going crazy.
00:57:31I was about to lose my mind.
00:57:33I told her clearly.
00:57:34I asked her why her father drove the car.
00:57:39She was so angry.
00:57:43She went to the other room.
00:57:45The other girls started staring at me.
00:57:47I told her, Zakir, you shouldn't have said that.
00:57:50Last year, her father met with an accident.
00:57:52He broke his leg.
00:57:53And now, he can't drive.
00:58:06How would I know?
00:58:14I told her to shut up.
00:58:16I got her a tissue and started laughing at Manjulika.
00:58:22I'm sorry, girls. I created a scene in the beginning of the trip.
00:58:25I didn't want to do this. I'm sorry.
00:58:27I'm just going... I'm just emotionally not in the right space right now.
00:58:33Maybe I have not moved on from Karan.
00:58:37I still miss him.
00:58:39The main ethos of these girls' group was...
00:58:43...that you can cry about anything.
00:58:45You can't cry about a boy.
00:58:47After that, the choreography they did was like a dance.
00:58:51They were like, babes, babes, babes, babes.
00:58:53Look at me. Look at me. Look at me. Look at me. Look at me. Look at me.
00:58:57No guy.
00:58:58No boy.
00:59:00No man.
00:59:01Can ever, ever, ever, ever.
00:59:03Never, never, never, never.
00:59:05Can bring fear to these pretty fucking eyes.
00:59:08Okay? You get it? You get it? You get it? You get it?
00:59:15Come on.
00:59:25I learned that day, sir, how girls make you quiet.
00:59:27Their techniques are different.
00:59:28We boys don't know the techniques.
00:59:32If you cry in front of the boys, you stand like this.
00:59:33Like the car is punctured.
00:59:45We'll repeat the same line five times.
00:59:50Come on, man. Get up.
00:59:59Come on, man. Get up.
01:00:04Come on, man. Get up.
01:00:08Come on, man. Get up.
01:00:12Come on, man. Get up.
01:00:16Come on, man. Get up.
01:00:20Come on, man. Get up.
01:00:32Now when people are being treated so badly,
01:00:36listen to one more thing.
01:00:38There isn't as much work in this world as men are telling women.
01:00:54If we had done 0.01% of the work we told women,
01:01:00there would have been a road between Earth and Mars.
01:01:04In the meantime, they said,
01:01:06Come on, guys. Group hug.
01:01:10But I'm also in the group.
01:01:13What do you want to do now?
01:01:16Do you want to hug or not?
01:01:19I'm standing right here, man.
01:01:22In the case of boys and girls, the strict policy says
01:01:24that until the next girl says,
01:01:26listen, boys, come here and hug me,
01:01:29until the next girl says,
01:01:31when in doubt, play statue.
01:01:37I said, I don't want to study.
01:01:40Okay?
01:01:41I thought, when there is so much sisterhood,
01:01:43this is the right time to wash away my sins.
01:01:46I said, I was crying thinking of Karan.
01:01:49I felt bad about what I said.
01:01:51We are people pleasers, right?
01:01:53We'll say no.
01:01:54Yes, yes, that's how it is.
01:01:57This was different.
01:01:59I said, Zakir, you were very rude.
01:02:02I said, get lost.
01:02:06Friends, it's that day, it's today.
01:02:08Since then, I believe in the policy of you go girl.
01:02:13I believe in the policy of you go girl.
01:02:16I believe in the policy of you go girl.
01:02:18I believe in the policy of you go girl.
01:02:22You have to go to the moon, you go girl.
01:02:26You have to jump in the well, you go girl.
01:02:29I don't interfere.
01:02:31And I have seen the result of that.
01:02:32They made me enjoy a lot.
01:02:34Okay?
01:02:35I had never lived this life.
01:02:38Bro, the fun of hanging out with girls is different.
01:02:41The boys were calling, I didn't answer.
01:02:44I said, let them go.
01:02:46The doors of every restaurant are open.
01:02:48I have spent all my life in Stag Not Allowed.
01:02:53Okay?
01:02:54I am getting an entry here.
01:02:55The restaurant is going to open at 11.15.
01:02:56She reached at 11.30.
01:02:58Entry.
01:03:00The waiter was also like this.
01:03:01Come on, sit.
01:03:04We saw every corner of Goa.
01:03:07One restaurant did not give her entry.
01:03:09It was full there.
01:03:11They started making a story over there.
01:03:13My eyes were in front of me.
01:03:15The restaurant manager's eyes were covered with dust.
01:03:19It's your group, it's their setting.
01:03:20Involve me properly.
01:03:23There were 28 year old women.
01:03:24Why did they become 18 all of a sudden?
01:03:27I said, bro, this is the last day of our friend in India.
01:03:32I said, at least tell me the story.
01:03:35I am standing with you.
01:03:38The story is being made hand in hand.
01:03:40She said, she is going to London.
01:03:41After that she will never return to India.
01:03:43This is her favourite restaurant.
01:03:45She should have come on the first day.
01:03:49I said, bro, please.
01:03:50I had called you.
01:03:51You didn't pick up.
01:03:52No one called me.
01:03:53They were with me.
01:03:55I called you.
01:03:56You didn't pick up.
01:03:57Where did you go?
01:03:59I called you.
01:04:00I saw you.
01:04:02I called you.
01:04:03I called you.
01:04:07We talked in front of each other.
01:04:09We are such bad friends.
01:04:10Can't we even get a table for our friend in a restaurant?
01:04:13We are such bad friends.
01:04:14Nothing could happen.
01:04:15They turned him into a rocket.
01:04:22He went inside and brought a group of 9 boys.
01:04:36I said, mom.
01:04:38I followed them.
01:04:40He said, what are you doing?
01:04:41Get lost.
01:04:43I said, I am with them.
01:04:48He said, ma'am, are they with you?
01:04:49I said, yes.
01:04:50He said, okay.
01:04:51Go.
01:05:00I had the feeling that
01:05:01Dev Sena used to come with Bahubali.
01:05:03Dev Sena used to come with Bahubali.
01:05:05Next time, he will see what he has to do.
01:05:14Next day was the last day.
01:05:16We had to go on a flight.
01:05:17It was a 4 o'clock flight.
01:05:18It was great.
01:05:19The trip was over.
01:05:20They packed their stuff.
01:05:21They said, we have to go to a faraway jungle and take a picture.
01:05:26We kept walking.
01:05:27We kept walking.
01:05:28The house was over.
01:05:29The people were over.
01:05:30The trees came.
01:05:31We stopped the car.
01:05:32They were dancing like this.
01:05:35Five girls in a floral dress in the jungle.
01:05:37They were dancing like this.
01:05:40They were dancing like this.
01:05:44Hey, it's so green.
01:05:45It's so pretty.
01:05:46It's so nice.
01:05:48And I saw, it was written there,
01:05:49Tendwe Ka Ilag.
01:05:55The girls thought,
01:05:56one boy with them
01:05:57means safety.
01:06:00Brother, ask us once.
01:06:01Who knows?
01:06:02We might feel unsafe.
01:06:06Or we might have lost our minds.
01:06:10If there is one or two guys,
01:06:11you will start hitting them.
01:06:13If there are two or three guys,
01:06:14you will start talking.
01:06:16How will I save myself from Tendwe?
01:06:18I don't have this skill.
01:06:20And what do you think?
01:06:21Am I the protection of Tendwe?
01:06:22Am I the protection of Tendwe?
01:06:31Deepti was standing
01:06:32at a hilltop.
01:06:34Guys, take a picture of me.
01:06:36Please take a picture of me.
01:06:38They took one picture.
01:06:39Like this.
01:06:41And then,
01:06:42two seconds later,
01:06:44I saw Deepti here.
01:06:48I thought,
01:06:49how did you appear here?
01:06:52At first, I just saw her
01:06:53for two seconds.
01:06:54How does she do this?
01:06:56Some people have
01:06:57some magic in their hands.
01:06:59They can do something.
01:07:01My girlfriend,
01:07:02she fell in front of me.
01:07:03My girlfriend said,
01:07:04pick her up.
01:07:05I said, okay.
01:07:06I didn't see anything broken.
01:07:08I said,
01:07:09okay, the picture is done.
01:07:11Get in the car.
01:07:12Everyone got stuck in the WagonR.
01:07:14Now we are going to the airport.
01:07:15The trip is over.
01:07:16Okay?
01:07:17First of all,
01:07:18everyone dies while going to work.
01:07:20First of all,
01:07:21the girl for whom
01:07:22we did the trip,
01:07:23her knees are torn.
01:07:24She is crying.
01:07:25The girls have connected.
01:07:26That it happens with someone.
01:07:27It's wrong.
01:07:28I feel bad.
01:07:30Five girls are crying.
01:07:32In the meantime,
01:07:33that Goan guy came.
01:07:34In the car.
01:07:35See, five girls are crying.
01:07:41He is telling me,
01:07:42brother, don't be this person.
01:07:46Jesus will punish you.
01:07:47Don't be this person.
01:07:48I said, what did I do?
01:07:50See, the whole airport
01:07:51is staring at me.
01:07:52They are saying,
01:07:53you rascal,
01:07:54you made five girls cry.
01:07:56I said, Deepti,
01:07:57I will hold your hand
01:07:58and help you cross.
01:07:59She said, no, I will walk.
01:08:00I said, shut up.
01:08:02Now it's not about you,
01:08:03it's about my safety.
01:08:11I said, move,
01:08:12there is a funeral in our house.
01:08:16People are saying,
01:08:17what are you saying?
01:08:19Will you say anything
01:08:20to save your life?
01:08:22Sister is hurt,
01:08:23move, move.
01:08:24One man is not moving.
01:08:25I can't see him.
01:08:26I am not even eye contacting anyone.
01:08:27His neck is down,
01:08:28walking quietly.
01:08:29I said, move, brother.
01:08:30Sister is hurt,
01:08:31move, move.
01:08:32The man got up.
01:08:33He came in my ear.
01:08:34He said,
01:08:35what are you doing here,
01:08:36you rascal?
01:08:49Rascal.
01:08:54I said,
01:08:55talk politely
01:08:56with the girls.
01:08:58He said,
01:08:59what are you doing here,
01:09:00brother?
01:09:02I said,
01:09:03you guys go to the departure,
01:09:04I will come.
01:09:05My girlfriend
01:09:06left from there.
01:09:07I said,
01:09:08who will talk to him?
01:09:09Let's go, let's go.
01:09:12He said,
01:09:13you are so crazy.
01:09:16We are calling you so many times,
01:09:17you are not answering.
01:09:18We are calling you so many times,
01:09:19you are not answering.
01:09:20And once,
01:09:21what did I tell you?
01:09:22Unemployed.
01:09:23You deleted WhatsApp.
01:09:28He didn't feel
01:09:29that I can block him.
01:09:31Why did you tell me?
01:09:33About job?
01:09:34I felt bad.
01:09:35Anyway,
01:09:36you said it.
01:09:37Will you break friendship?
01:09:38Friendship is forever.
01:09:39You can't go anywhere.
01:09:41What is this?
01:09:45What kind of a thing is this?
01:09:50In the meanwhile,
01:09:51Zakir came from behind.
01:09:53I turned around and saw
01:09:549 boys in the class.
01:09:58I said,
01:09:59how many people are there in total?
01:10:01He said,
01:10:02we are 22 in total.
01:10:04I said,
01:10:05let's go,
01:10:06the car is here.
01:10:07I said,
01:10:08where is the car?
01:10:09He said,
01:10:10all the innovations are ours.
01:10:13There are 9 innovations.
01:10:15I said,
01:10:16swimming pool?
01:10:17He said,
01:10:18basketball court
01:10:19is as big as this.
01:10:29In the meanwhile,
01:10:30I saw that
01:10:31three more boys
01:10:32were coming to the class
01:10:33with such a big picture of me.
01:10:37I said,
01:10:38what is this?
01:10:39He said,
01:10:40nothing.
01:10:41I checked your website.
01:10:42I bought you a ticket.
01:10:43I went to your house.
01:10:44I didn't find you at home.
01:10:45I thought,
01:10:46no one else will come
01:10:47in my brother's seat.
01:10:56That day,
01:10:57I realized that
01:10:58boys love you
01:10:59but can't express it.
01:11:03That day,
01:11:04I noticed that
01:11:05there was a necklace
01:11:06on my photo.
01:11:14I said,
01:11:15what is this?
01:11:26He said,
01:11:27I went to your house.
01:11:28I didn't find you at home.
01:11:29I called you
01:11:30but you didn't answer.
01:11:31I thought
01:11:32I am dead.
01:11:34I said,
01:11:37I am alive.
01:11:40He said,
01:11:41you are fine, right?
01:11:42I said,
01:11:43I will call you.
01:11:44I will tell you.
01:11:45He said,
01:11:46don't do that.
01:11:47I said,
01:11:48I am here.
01:11:49I am coming.
01:11:50At that time,
01:11:51Kuntal came.
01:11:52He said,
01:11:53I will talk to your girlfriend.
01:11:54I have a good impression on her.
01:11:59I said,
01:12:01wait for two minutes.
01:12:02He said,
01:12:03let's go.
01:12:04It's my birthday.
01:12:05I said,
01:12:06I am begging you.
01:12:07I am begging you.
01:12:08Please.
01:12:09I said,
01:12:10don't do this.
01:12:11I am begging you.
01:12:12Please.
01:12:13Otherwise,
01:12:14I will bite you.
01:12:17I said,
01:12:18don't do this.
01:12:19He said,
01:12:20I had a dream
01:12:21of living with a girl.
01:12:22I couldn't fulfill that.
01:12:23At least,
01:12:24I will fulfill my childhood dream
01:12:25of living with a friend.
01:12:26Let's go.
01:12:31I will read something.
01:12:32Kuntal,
01:12:33I will call you.
01:12:34I will call you.
01:12:35Then,
01:12:36I started thinking.
01:12:37I feel like doing it.
01:12:38It happens suddenly.
01:12:39But,
01:12:40my father once told someone
01:12:41on the phone.
01:12:42I remember that.
01:12:43He said,
01:12:44one is liking
01:12:45and one is doing it right.
01:12:46When you
01:12:47stop liking
01:12:48and start doing it right,
01:12:49then,
01:12:50you will understand
01:12:51that you have grown up
01:12:52and your childhood has died.
01:12:55Then,
01:12:56I was thinking
01:12:57what happens
01:12:58that you will live
01:12:59with a girl
01:13:00and have fun with her
01:13:01and suddenly,
01:13:02you will live with a partner.
01:13:03Can't there be
01:13:04a balance in this?
01:13:05There should be
01:13:06a little happiness
01:13:07and a little laughter.
01:13:16I showed my ticket
01:13:17and entered the airport.
01:13:20I saw these guys
01:13:21from the window.
01:13:22They were talking so much
01:13:23that they halted
01:13:24the airport.
01:13:26The tea vendor
01:13:27was making tea.
01:13:28The policemen
01:13:29were looking at him
01:13:30and laughing.
01:13:31I was inside the window.
01:13:32I had a feeling
01:13:33that one of your papers
01:13:34is left
01:13:35and the entire colony
01:13:36exam is over.
01:13:38Everyone is playing
01:13:39and shouting,
01:13:40catch!
01:13:41Where did you come from?
01:13:45Then,
01:13:46my girlfriend said,
01:13:47what happened?
01:13:48Who were these guys?
01:13:51Kuntal is also here.
01:13:52He is your friend.
01:13:55I turned away
01:13:56as soon as I saw him.
01:13:58I said,
01:13:59yes.
01:14:00He said,
01:14:01he is very irritating.
01:14:02What kind of a friend is he?
01:14:03His voice
01:14:04is very irritating.
01:14:08I looked at Deepti
01:14:09and said,
01:14:10yes.
01:14:17Everyone has
01:14:18their own Kuntal
01:14:19and their own Deepti.
01:14:23I said,
01:14:24it's her
01:14:25birthday.
01:14:26He said,
01:14:27he is forgetting
01:14:28to stop.
01:14:29I said,
01:14:30yes.
01:14:31I was watching
01:14:32for a long time.
01:14:33Do you want to stop?
01:14:34Do you want to stop?
01:14:37Now,
01:14:38this is a trick question.
01:14:40I said,
01:14:41go.
01:14:42You are the one
01:14:43who says,
01:14:44laughter and happiness
01:14:45should be together.
01:14:46Go.
01:14:51I said,
01:14:52okay.
01:14:53I am leaving.
01:14:54I said,
01:14:56hmm?
01:14:57I said,
01:14:58take your mobile purse.
01:15:01I'll tell you
01:15:02what you are forgetting.
01:15:04When I came out
01:15:05with my friends,
01:15:06I brought you along.
01:15:10Can't you ask me
01:15:11once to stop?
01:15:13Right?
01:15:14Zakir,
01:15:15I involve you
01:15:16in my laughter and happiness
01:15:17but you segregate.
01:15:18You separate.
01:15:19You separate.
01:15:25You are right.
01:15:29But should I take you
01:15:30in the group of half-humans?
01:15:33I said,
01:15:34that
01:15:35that group
01:15:36is different.
01:15:37He said,
01:15:38no Zakir,
01:15:39you should have asked me once.
01:15:40I would have refused
01:15:41but you should have asked.
01:15:42I said,
01:15:43you are right.
01:15:44Kiri,
01:15:45it's okay.
01:15:46Go.
01:15:50Look,
01:15:51I was about to leave.
01:15:54Yes,
01:15:55I changed my mind
01:15:56when I saw so many guys.
01:15:58And that basketball court
01:15:59in Singapore
01:16:00was where
01:16:01I lost my breath.
01:16:05But sending laughter
01:16:06and happiness
01:16:07is a big deal.
01:16:09Now,
01:16:10I have to give a compliment here.
01:16:12I said,
01:16:13but you are so understanding.
01:16:14You understood
01:16:15that I should go
01:16:16to my friend's birthday.
01:16:17This social understanding
01:16:18is not mine.
01:16:19I didn't even think
01:16:20that I should stay.
01:16:22I could stay
01:16:23because you told me to.
01:16:24Then this is because
01:16:25whatever compliment I have,
01:16:26I am still making it.
01:16:28I said,
01:16:29this is because of the upbringing
01:16:30your parents have given to you.
01:16:34And whatever you teach,
01:16:35everyone's parents
01:16:36don't understand it.
01:16:37But you did it
01:16:38very well.
01:16:39I believe you.
01:16:40I swear.
01:16:41You are very good.
01:16:42And because
01:16:43because
01:16:47because you have studied
01:16:48from Harvard too.
01:16:49So,
01:16:51there is a difference.
01:16:54There is a slight
01:16:55difference.
01:16:58Sumitra,
01:16:59look this way.
01:17:01Look,
01:17:02with a little exposure.
01:17:04Kiri,
01:17:05now you go.
01:17:06I will miss you.
01:17:08Come here.
01:17:12Hug me.
01:17:15I said,
01:17:16okay, okay.
01:17:18I am hugging her.
01:17:19She is going.
01:17:20She is ready to go.
01:17:21Kuntal is doing this
01:17:22at the back.
01:17:28I am hugging her.
01:17:29I am hugging her.
01:17:30I am hugging her.
01:17:31I am hugging her.
01:17:33I am hugging her.
01:17:36Is this a thing?
01:17:37What if her friends see this?
01:17:45The way Kuntal
01:17:46talks,
01:17:47I enjoy it.
01:17:49Kuntal and I were in the car.
01:17:50I said,
01:17:51bro,
01:17:52meet a girl like her.
01:17:53I was so excited.
01:17:56She understood
01:17:57that the guy is out of league.
01:17:59She is not answering the phone.
01:18:02For the first time,
01:18:03a girl has self-rejected herself.
01:18:07I asked her,
01:18:08how is it?
01:18:09She said,
01:18:10my humor is so good.
01:18:11I made such a joke.
01:18:12She got scared.
01:18:13She said,
01:18:14you are a great guy.
01:18:15I asked her,
01:18:16what joke did you make?
01:18:17She said,
01:18:18I keep saying
01:18:19that I stay quiet in winter.
01:18:20I stay happy in summer.
01:18:21I stay quiet in winter.
01:18:22I don't talk to anyone.
01:18:23In summer,
01:18:24I sing,
01:18:25I dance,
01:18:26and so on.
01:18:27I asked her,
01:18:28is she a girl
01:18:29or a bear?
01:18:32I said,
01:18:33she is really
01:18:34out of league.
01:18:35I am sure.
01:18:36Girls like Kuntal
01:18:37are given by God.
01:18:38Because as long
01:18:39as they are alive,
01:18:40your childhood is alive.
01:18:41Okay?
01:18:47Then we all reached
01:18:48home.
01:18:49I was so sleepy,
01:18:50I got up right away.
01:18:51I said,
01:18:52let's keep turning around.
01:18:57IAUDIBLE
01:18:58I got up.
01:18:59I Gandhiri yo man.
01:19:00He goes,
01:19:01I said, I'll pick it up. He said, brother, we're home.
01:19:03Then Kuntal said, find the bucket.
01:19:05We searched the whole house for the bucket.
01:19:07There was a 22-room villa and we didn't find the bucket.
01:19:09Then we went out on the road.
01:19:11The whole 22 boys were searching for the bucket.
01:19:13We asked the stationery guy, brother, is there a bucket?
01:19:15At this time, madam's phone rang.
01:19:17She was about to get her flight board.
01:19:19She said, yes, we're sitting here. It's about to take off.
01:19:21What are you guys doing?
01:19:23I said, we're searching for the bucket.
01:19:25She said, what? Bucket?
01:19:27He said, what's the use of a bucket?
01:19:29I said, you don't know?
01:19:31He said, then why are you searching?
01:19:33I said, because Kuntal said so.
01:19:35He said, didn't you ask why are you searching?
01:19:37I said, why should I ask?
01:19:39Brother said, to do it.
01:19:41Great!
01:19:45We got the bucket and reached home.
01:19:47Kuntal told us to stand in a line.
01:19:49We stood in a line.
01:19:51Then our commander, Kuntal,
01:19:53showed us the bucket.
01:19:55He said, with this bucket,
01:19:57we'll throw the bucket in the pool.
01:19:59After that, everyone will
01:20:01go 10 steps back from the pool
01:20:03and then take 4 steps from there
01:20:05and slide into the pool.
01:20:09As the commander ordered,
01:20:11we followed him.
01:20:13Our chests were peeled, but it was fun.
01:20:23This is what they do.
01:20:25Then people say, why does a man live less?
01:20:29He came to celebrate his birthday,
01:20:31but there was no preparation for it.
01:20:33He was so happy in beer and swimming pool
01:20:35that he didn't order food.
01:20:37Cake is a very distant thing.
01:20:39The one whose birthday he doesn't remember.
01:20:43He himself went to sleep at 11.30.
01:20:47Most people go to sleep at 11.30.
01:20:49He didn't pick up his father's phone on his birthday.
01:20:55I don't know who spread the word
01:20:57that men are leaders.
01:20:59What kind of leaders?
01:21:0122 boys, 22 followers.
01:21:05Zero suggestions,
01:21:07minus the disagreement.
01:21:17Ask him if he wants to go to space.
01:21:19He says, go to space.
01:21:21Ask him if he wants to go to Titli.
01:21:23Ask him if he wants to stay at home.
01:21:25He says, he's fine.
01:21:31Now he's hungry.
01:21:33He hasn't eaten anything since yesterday afternoon.
01:21:35He says, is there anything to eat?
01:21:37He opens the fridge and looks.
01:21:39Did you keep it?
01:21:43He says, call the car guy.
01:21:45How long will it take?
01:21:47He says, it'll take half an hour.
01:21:49I say, we don't have half an hour.
01:21:51I say, should I send you a bullero?
01:21:53He says, send it.
01:21:55The bullero came and we started climbing.
01:21:57The 22 boys started talking nonsense.
01:21:59Five boys sat in it.
01:22:01I said, I'll sit in it too.
01:22:03Two more sat in it.
01:22:05Now there's Innova.
01:22:07Who's going to sit in Innova now?
01:22:09Everyone thinks this car is full of nonsense.
01:22:21So finally it was decided that
01:22:2322 boys in one bullero.
01:22:27Five in the back.
01:22:29Eight Innova's are empty in the back.
01:22:31The bullero is about to explode.
01:22:35The bullero has four boys' faces
01:22:37in the rearview mirror.
01:22:39But no, it'll be fun to change the car.
01:22:41We're dying in this.
01:22:43There's no ventilation.
01:22:47We're together.
01:22:49You won't believe this.
01:22:57Put these 22 boys in hell
01:22:59and fry them in oil.
01:23:01We'll do it in that too.
01:23:05They're talking nonsense to the driver.
01:23:09Have you ever driven a bus?
01:23:13He says, name this car Bus from now on.
01:23:19The boys in the back are
01:23:21crawling in the air.
01:23:23There's no ventilation in the car.
01:23:25We can't lower the window
01:23:27because if we do, we'll die.
01:23:29They're talking nonsense to the driver.
01:23:31He crawled one more time
01:23:33and pulled the handbrake.
01:23:35He says, I won't drive such a dirty car.
01:23:39Look at the size of the convoy.
01:23:41Nine cars, one bullero.
01:23:43Eight Innova's are empty in the back.
01:23:45Now we have to get
01:23:47all 22 boys out of the car.
01:23:491, 2, 3, 4, 5,
01:23:5110, 15, 20, 21, 22 boys
01:23:53are getting out of the car.
01:23:55Is it the people around us
01:23:57or the robbers?
01:23:59They all look like robbers.
01:24:01They started giving us
01:24:03their stuff, money, watch, chain, mobile.
01:24:07We said, we're not here to rob.
01:24:09We said, we're not here to rob.
01:24:13The restaurant we went to
01:24:15was closed.
01:24:17People were running
01:24:19to get the shutter down.
01:24:21We said, close it quickly.
01:24:25One restaurant
01:24:27wasn't ready to let us in.
01:24:29Finally, we stood in the middle.
01:24:31Kuntal said, let's take a picture first.
01:24:33How do we take a picture?
01:24:3522 boys, how do we take a picture?
01:24:37This is a pose.
01:24:39We all stood in a line.
01:24:41There were white people there.
01:24:43They thought it was an environmental drive.
01:24:45They were standing
01:24:47in a human chain.
01:24:49They were holding our hands.
01:24:51I said, move!
01:24:53I said, we're taking a picture.
01:24:55Run!
01:24:57We entered a restaurant.
01:24:59It was called Miabela Kochabela.
01:25:01There was no one there.
01:25:03We went inside.
01:25:05The boys asked, who is the owner?
01:25:09What difference does it make?
01:25:11The boys went inside.
01:25:13There weren't many tables there.
01:25:15We had to make a table there.
01:25:17The enterprising boys started making their own tables.
01:25:19The poor Italian guy
01:25:21was eating pasta.
01:25:23He said, sir, can you hold your plate?
01:25:25He lost his table.
01:25:27He came to have a fine dine.
01:25:29We made a buffet for him.
01:25:31There was a long table
01:25:33in the middle of the restaurant.
01:25:35There was no one there
01:25:37to feed each other.
01:25:39The waiter
01:25:41brought a plate from the kitchen
01:25:43and asked, which restaurant is this?
01:25:45He said, I don't work here.
01:25:55The waiter asked,
01:25:57what would you like to order?
01:25:59He said, would you like to have dal, makhani, jeera rice and butter naan?
01:26:01He kept the menu.
01:26:03He said, leave the menu.
01:26:05He said, you talk.
01:26:07He said, dal, makhani, jeera rice and butter naan.
01:26:09He said, make it spicy.
01:26:11He said, sir, it's an Italian restaurant.
01:26:15He said, pizza and pasta.
01:26:17Kuntal said, wait a minute.
01:26:19How do you make pasta?
01:26:21He said, in a pan.
01:26:23He said, what do you do before that?
01:26:25He said, boil it in a pan.
01:26:27He said, no.
01:26:29We don't have dal.
01:26:31Kuntal stood up.
01:26:33He took out a 1000 rupee note.
01:26:35He gave it to him.
01:26:37He said, go son.
01:26:39Bring whatever you feel like.
01:26:43All of us boys were impressed.
01:26:47He said, you know the name of two dals.
01:26:57Kuntal said,
01:26:59any dals that dance Mujraana.
01:27:03Now the family's reputation is at stake.
01:27:05Those who don't know, let it go.
01:27:15All of us were dancing Mujraana at the table.
01:27:21The Italians thought it was a performance.
01:27:23Kuntal came.
01:27:25He took out a note.
01:27:27He said,
01:27:29this is the real Mujraana.
01:27:39Kuntal said, let's upload a snap.
01:27:41Give me your phone.
01:27:43I got down from the table.
01:27:45The waiter came.
01:27:47He said, sir, your 5 friends are in the kitchen.
01:27:49When I went inside,
01:27:51two of them were sitting inside the pizza oven.
01:27:55The chef must have studied somewhere.
01:27:57He must have done a course.
01:27:59His face was inside.
01:28:01He was being taught
01:28:03that if you put the pizza dough on the wall,
01:28:05it will become a naan.
01:28:07Haraam jadoor
01:28:17sat in an Italian restaurant
01:28:19and ate dal, makhani, jeera rice and butter naan.
01:28:23Now this problem
01:28:25involves everyone.
01:28:27Italians, Americans,
01:28:29Israelis are eating with us.
01:28:31What are these guys?
01:28:33We have wiped
01:28:35They were surrounded.
01:28:36They asked,
01:28:37are there only boys in this group? No girls?
01:28:39I said, we are from boys' school only.
01:28:41They said, no girlfriends also?
01:28:42All 21 boys looked at me.
01:28:44She's a girl from Zakhir.
01:28:46Do you see how lonely she is?
01:28:49She's so lonely.
01:28:51I said, yes, yes.
01:28:52I said, give me my phone.
01:28:55I said, I can't give you my phone.
01:28:59I said, give me my phone.
01:29:00He said, I cut your phone twice.
01:29:06I said, are you mad?
01:29:07He said, it's my birthday.
01:29:11I said, even if it's your birthday, you are mad.
01:29:13Give me your phone.
01:29:14I got two missed calls. I was so scared.
01:29:18I called him.
01:29:19They were talking to each other.
01:29:20He asked, what happened?
01:29:22My other friend said,
01:29:23his girlfriend called.
01:29:25He had his phone. He cut it twice.
01:29:29The American guy said to the Italian guy,
01:29:30oh, this guy is fucked, bro.
01:29:35Come on.
01:29:39Bro, every girl is dude's of every language and every continent.
01:29:45I got the phone. I said, oh my God, what should I say?
01:29:48I said, keep quiet everyone will call.
01:29:50I said, keep quiet, keep quiet.
01:29:52They're calling, be quiet now.
01:29:55Serious guys, everybody, hold your horses.
01:30:00I called.
01:30:01Trr-trr-cut.
01:30:03Trr-trr-cut.
01:30:05Trr-trr-cut.
01:30:06Trr-trr-cut.
01:30:08I'm thinking, she'll kick me out.
01:30:10Where can I sleep at night in Delhi?
01:30:12Trr-trr-cut.
01:30:14Trr-trr-cut.
01:30:15Trr-trr-cut.
01:30:17Taun. Taun. Taun. Taun. Taun.
01:30:21The phone got disconnected.
01:30:23I was out of my body.
01:30:26I grabbed Kuntal and said,
01:30:28you bastard!
01:30:30I knew it was a pig from the start.
01:30:33I should have taken a left.
01:30:36Why did I take a right?
01:30:43This is the same drama every time.
01:30:46I don't know, man.
01:30:49Then the phone rings.
01:30:52I'm like, shut up.
01:30:54The phone is ringing.
01:30:57What do I say?
01:30:58I picked up the phone and he said, hello.
01:31:02I said, I'm not enjoying this.
01:31:04I enjoy being with you.
01:31:06If I come again, refuse me.
01:31:09Okay, that's a reverse act. Thank you very much.
01:31:12You've been a great audience.
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