Home Alone 1990 Full Move

Nomedia
Nomedia
  • 3 weeks ago
Home Alone 1990 Full Move
Transcript
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00:07:53Okay, that's $122.50.
00:07:56Not for me, kid. I don't live here.
00:07:58Oh, you're just around for the holidays?
00:08:00I guess you could say that.
00:08:02Hey, pizza's here!
00:08:04That's $122.50.
00:08:06Oh, it's my brother's house. He'll take care of it.
00:08:09Hey, listen, uh...
00:08:12Hi.
00:08:13Hi. Are you Mr. McAllister?
00:08:15Yeah.
00:08:16The Mr. McAllister who lives here?
00:08:18Yes.
00:08:19Oh, good, because somebody owes me $122.50.
00:08:21I'd like a word with you, sir.
00:08:23Am I under arrest or something?
00:08:25No, no, no, no, no. It's Christmas time.
00:08:27There's always a lot of burglaries around the holidays.
00:08:29So we're just checking the neighborhood
00:08:31to see if everyone's taking the proper precautions, that's all.
00:08:34Oh, yeah, well, we have automatic timers for our lights,
00:08:37locks for our doors.
00:08:38That's about as well as anybody can do these days, right?
00:08:40Did you get some eggnog or something like that?
00:08:42Come on, Dad. Let's eat.
00:08:44Eggnog?
00:08:45Pizza! Pizza!
00:08:47Pizza!
00:08:49Grab yourself a napkin,
00:08:50and you're going to have to pour your own drinks.
00:08:52Mom, do samples have to go through customs?
00:08:54What time do we have to go to bed?
00:08:56Early. We're leaving the house at 8 a.m. on the bus.
00:08:59I hope you're all drinking milk. I want to get rid of it.
00:09:02Hey!
00:09:03Honey, the pizza boy needs $122.50 plus tip.
00:09:07For pizza?
00:09:08Ten pizzas times 12 bucks.
00:09:10Frank, you've got some money, don't you? Come on.
00:09:12Travelers' checks.
00:09:13Forget it, Frank. We have cash.
00:09:15You probably get the kind of travelers' checks
00:09:17that don't work in France.
00:09:18Did anyone order me plain cheese?
00:09:21Well, yeah, we did.
00:09:23But if you want any,
00:09:24somebody's going to have to barf it all up,
00:09:26because it's gone.
00:09:28Fuller, go easy on the Pepsi.
00:09:38Get a plate.
00:09:41Ow!
00:09:51Passports! Watch it!
00:09:54Stop it!
00:09:56No, no, get these passports out of here.
00:09:59Come on!
00:10:01You moron!
00:10:03Get the baby ready.
00:10:05Honey, come here. You all right?
00:10:07What is the matter with you?
00:10:09He started it. He ate my pizza on purpose.
00:10:12He knows I ate sausage and olives and onions and...
00:10:14Look what you did, you little jerk!
00:10:30Kevin, get upstairs right now.
00:10:32Why?
00:10:33Kevin, you're such a disease.
00:10:35Shut up.
00:10:36Kevin, upstairs.
00:10:37Say good night, Kevin.
00:10:38Good night, Kevin.
00:10:42Why do I always get treated like a skunk?
00:10:44Oh, I'm sorry, I'm sorry.
00:10:46This house is just crazy.
00:10:47We've got all these extra kids running around.
00:10:49My brother-in-law drove in from Ohio today.
00:10:52It's just nuts.
00:10:53How come you didn't bring more cheese pizzas?
00:10:56Nice tip. Thanks a lot.
00:10:58Thanks.
00:10:59Having a reunion or something?
00:11:00Oh, no, my husband's brother
00:11:01transferred to Paris last summer,
00:11:02and both of his kids are still going to school here,
00:11:04and I guess he missed the whole family.
00:11:06He's giving us all this trip to Paris for the holidays
00:11:08so we can be together.
00:11:09You're taking a trip to Paris?
00:11:11Yes, we hope to leave tomorrow morning.
00:11:14Excellent, excellent.
00:11:16If you'll excuse me, this one's a little out of sorts.
00:11:18I'll be right back.
00:11:19Don't worry about me.
00:11:20I spoke to your husband already.
00:11:22And don't worry about your home.
00:11:24It's in good hands.
00:11:30There are 15 people in this house.
00:11:31You're the only one who has to make trouble.
00:11:33I'm the only one getting dumped on.
00:11:35You're acting up. Now get upstairs.
00:11:37I am upstairs, dummy.
00:11:40The third floor?
00:11:42Go.
00:11:43It's scary up there.
00:11:44Don't be silly.
00:11:45Fuller will be up in a little while.
00:11:47I don't want to sleep with Fuller.
00:11:48You know about him.
00:11:49He wets the bed.
00:11:50He'll pee all over me.
00:11:51I know it.
00:11:52Fine.
00:11:53We'll put him somewhere else.
00:11:55I'm sorry.
00:11:57It's too late.
00:11:58Get upstairs.
00:12:02Everyone in this family hates me.
00:12:04Then maybe you should ask Santa for a new family.
00:12:06I don't want a new family.
00:12:08I don't want any family.
00:12:09Families suck.
00:12:10Just stay up there.
00:12:11I don't want to see you again for the rest of the night.
00:12:13I don't want to see you again for the rest of my whole life.
00:12:16And I don't want to see anybody else either.
00:12:18I hope you don't mean that.
00:12:20You'd feel pretty sad if you woke up tomorrow morning and you didn't have a family.
00:12:25No, I wouldn't.
00:12:27Then say it again.
00:12:29Maybe it'll happen.
00:12:30I hope I never see any jerks again.
00:12:35Hey!
00:12:54I wish they would all just disappear.
00:13:04I wish they would all just disappear.
00:13:34I wish they would all just disappear.
00:13:56She said eight sharp.
00:14:05Peter!
00:14:09We slept in!
00:14:28Hi, I'm Mitch Murphy.
00:14:29I live across the street.
00:14:31You guys going out of town?
00:14:33We're going to Orlando, Florida.
00:14:35Well, actually, first we're going into Missouri to pick up my grandma.
00:14:39Do you know the McAllister's are going to France?
00:14:41Do you know if it's cold there?
00:14:43Do these vans get good gas mileage?
00:14:45Gee, kid, I don't know.
00:14:46Hit the road.
00:14:51Heather, do a head count.
00:14:52Make sure everyone's in the vans.
00:14:54Where are the passports and tickets?
00:14:55Put them in the microwave and dry them off.
00:14:57How fast does this thing go?
00:14:59Does it have automatic transmission?
00:15:01Does it have four-wheel drive?
00:15:03Look, I told you before, kid, don't bother me.
00:15:05Now beat it.
00:15:18Line up in front of the van.
00:15:22Come on, you guys, line up and shut up.
00:15:24Shut up.
00:15:28One, two, three.
00:15:30Eleven, ninety-two, twelve.
00:15:33Buzz, don't be a moron.
00:15:35Six, seven, eight, nine, ten, eleven.
00:15:41Okay, half in this van, half in this van.
00:15:44Let's go.
00:15:46Have a good trip. Bring me back something fresh.
00:15:52There's no way on earth we're going to make this plane.
00:15:54It leaves in 45 minutes.
00:15:56Think positive, Frank.
00:15:57You be positive. I'll be realistic.
00:15:59Ma'am, excuse me.
00:16:01I just wanted to let you know that your power is fixed,
00:16:03but the phone lines are a mess.
00:16:04It's going to take my bell a couple of days to patch them up,
00:16:06especially around the holidays.
00:16:08Okay, thanks.
00:16:09Heather, did you count heads?
00:16:11Eleven, including me.
00:16:13Five boys, six girls, four parents, two drivers,
00:16:16and a partridge in a pear tree.
00:16:19♪
00:16:25Out of all the rainbows, you know you're the mastermind
00:16:31Run, run, Rudolph, Randolph ain't too far behind
00:16:38Run, run, Rudolph, Santa's got to make it to town
00:16:44Got to make him hurry, tell him he can take the freeway down
00:16:50Run, run, Rudolph, reeling like a merry-go-round
00:16:54Hold the foot.
00:16:55Did we miss the flight?
00:16:56No, you just made it.
00:16:57Yeah!
00:16:59Single seats only, coach. Take whatever's free.
00:17:01Yay!
00:17:03Run, run, Rudolph, reeling like a merry-go-round
00:17:07You kids are it, coach. We're in charge.
00:17:11I'll take the coats.
00:17:13Thank you.
00:17:14Fasten your seatbelts, please.
00:17:16Champagne, please. It's free, isn't it?
00:17:18Oh, yes.
00:17:20We made it.
00:17:21Can you believe it?
00:17:23I hope we didn't forget anything.
00:18:11What are you doing out of costume? Now get back and get ready.
00:18:15Oh, I'm terribly sorry. I thought you were our Santa Claus.
00:18:18Your Santa Claus is intoxicated.
00:18:20Oh, no!
00:18:21Yes, it's disgraceful.
00:18:23How could you allow a man to get intoxicated?
00:18:27Jingle bells, jingle bells, jingle all the way
00:18:31Stop that. What do you mean by drinking? You know it's not allowed.
00:18:33The weather's cold. A man's got to do something to keep warm.
00:18:36I'll warm you. I ought to take this cane and give you the...
00:18:39Somebody, Judy, get some black coffee.
00:18:46Mom?
00:18:53Thank you.
00:18:55That's real. That's real crystal. It's real.
00:18:58Put them in your purse.
00:19:00Put them, put them, put them.
00:19:02Just put them in your purse.
00:19:05Uh, yeah, uh, fill it up, fill it up.
00:19:07Fill it up, please.
00:19:09Thank you.
00:19:11Don't you feel like a heel flying first class with all the kids back in coach?
00:19:14No, the kids are fine.
00:19:16The only flying I ever did as a kid was in the family station wagon.
00:19:19It wasn't a France.
00:19:21We used to have to go over to Aunt Laura and Uncle Arthur's house.
00:19:24The kids were okay. They're having the time of their lives.
00:19:26Yeah.
00:19:28Hello?
00:19:31Mom?
00:19:34Dad?
00:19:39Mom?
00:19:41Dad?
00:19:44Where are you guys?
00:19:47Buzz?
00:19:50Buzz?
00:19:55Buzz?
00:20:03Megan?
00:20:05Hello?
00:20:07Hello?
00:20:09Rod?
00:20:11Uncle Frank?
00:20:13Uncle Frank, is this a joke?
00:20:17Megan?
00:20:19Linny?
00:20:22Is this a joke?
00:20:33Is this a joke?
00:20:48It's all in my imagination.
00:20:50All in my imagination.
00:21:04The cars are still here. They didn't go to the airport.
00:21:27I made my family disappear.
00:21:30I made my family disappear.
00:21:35Kevin, you're completely helpless.
00:21:37No, Kevin. You're what the French call les incompétents.
00:21:42Kevin, I'm going to feed you to my tarantula.
00:21:45Kevin, you are such a disease.
00:21:48There are 15 people in this house and you're the only one who has to make trouble.
00:21:53Look what you did, you little jerk.
00:22:00I made my family disappear.
00:22:31Wow!
00:22:40No clothes on anybody. Sickening.
00:22:44Cool firecrackers. I'll save these for later.
00:22:48Buzz, I'm going through all your private stuff.
00:22:51You better come out and pound me.
00:22:54Buzz, your girlfriend. Woof!
00:23:24Woof!
00:23:50Who is it?
00:23:55It's me, Snakes. I got the stuff.
00:23:58Leave it on the doorstep and get the hell out of here.
00:24:01All right, Johnny, but what about my money?
00:24:04What money?
00:24:06A.C. said you had some dough for me.
00:24:08Is that a fact? How much do I owe you?
00:24:11A.C. said 10%.
00:24:14Too bad A.C. ain't in charge no more.
00:24:17What do you mean?
00:24:19Guys, I'm eating junk and watching rubbish. You better come out and stop me.
00:24:23He'll call you when he gets out.
00:24:26Hey, I'll tell you what I'm going to give you, Snakes.
00:24:31I'm going to give you to the count of 10...
00:24:34to get your ugly, yellow, no-good keister off my property...
00:24:39before I pump your guts full of lead.
00:24:42All right, Johnny, I'm sorry. I'm going.
00:24:45One, two, ten.
00:24:48Keep the change, you filthy animal.
00:24:52Mom!
00:25:18What's the matter?
00:25:21Honey?
00:25:23I have a terrible feeling.
00:25:26About what?
00:25:28That we didn't do something.
00:25:31Now you feel that way because we left in such a hurry.
00:25:34We took care of everything. Believe me, we did.
00:25:36Did I turn off the coffee?
00:25:38No. I did.
00:25:40Did you lock up?
00:25:42Yeah.
00:25:44Did you close the garage?
00:25:47That's it. I forgot to close the garage. That's it.
00:25:57No, that's not it.
00:26:01What else could we be forgetting?
00:26:07Kevin!
00:26:14Kevin!
00:26:44Kevin!
00:26:54The captain's doing all he can. Your phones are still out of order.
00:26:58We'll call as soon as we land, Kate. I'm sure everything's okay.
00:27:02It's horrible. Horrible. Just horrible.
00:27:06How could we do this? We forgot him.
00:27:09We didn't forget him. We just miscounted.
00:27:12What kind of mother am I?
00:27:15If it makes you feel any better, I forgot my reading classes.
00:27:23Five families gone on one block alone.
00:27:26They all told me from their own mouths.
00:27:29It's almost too easy.
00:27:31Check it out.
00:27:33All the houses with nobody home have automatic timers on their lights.
00:27:38But I got it all figured out. Watch this.
00:27:42Number 664 will be going on right about...
00:27:48now.
00:27:50Wait, wait, wait.
00:27:53Number 672...
00:27:57right now.
00:28:02Wait a minute.
00:28:04671...
00:28:07now.
00:28:10And that's the one, Marvin. That's the silver tuna.
00:28:14It's very G.
00:28:16Very G, huh? It's loaded.
00:28:19It's got lots of top-flank goods.
00:28:22Stereos, VCRs.
00:28:24Toys.
00:28:25Probably looking at some very fine jewelry.
00:28:28Possible cash hoard.
00:28:30Odd marketable securities.
00:28:33Who knows? It's a gem.
00:28:36Grab your crowbar.
00:28:39Crowbar's up.
00:28:43You're a rotter, Mr. Grinch.
00:28:48You're the king of sinful spots.
00:28:52You're a hearse of dead tomato spots with moldy purple spots, Mr. Grinch.
00:29:00You're a three-decker sauerkraut coleslaw sandwich.
00:29:06You're a three-decker sauerkraut coleslaw sandwich.
00:29:09You're a three-decker sauerkraut coleslaw sandwich.
00:29:12You're a three-decker sauerkraut coleslaw sandwich.
00:29:15You're a three-decker sauerkraut coleslaw sandwich.
00:29:18You're a three-decker sauerkraut coleslaw sandwich.
00:29:21You're a three-decker sauerkraut coleslaw sandwich.
00:29:24You're a three-decker sauerkraut coleslaw sandwich.
00:29:27You're a three-decker sauerkraut coleslaw sandwich.
00:29:30You're a three-decker sauerkraut coleslaw sandwich.
00:29:34Which way?
00:29:37Go around back down to basement. Come on. Follow me.
00:29:40Which way?
00:29:42Go around back, down the basement.
00:29:44Come on, follow me.
00:30:05I thought you said they were gone.
00:30:07They were supposed to leave this morning.
00:30:09Let's go.
00:30:33Attention, please. This is...
00:30:39This way.
00:30:46Miss, we have to use the phone, please.
00:30:49I'm sorry, it's an emergency. We really have to make a call.
00:30:52Please, our brother's home alone.
00:30:55Use the phone.
00:30:57Thank you. I'm sorry, but thank you.
00:30:59Peter, I'm going to call the police. Why don't you book us a flight home?
00:31:02Here, get some change out of here. Call everybody you know.
00:31:05Oh, Leslie, here's my address book.
00:31:08Frank, call everybody who lives on our street. Maybe somebody can help us.
00:31:11What am I doing? Hello? Hello? Hello?
00:31:13I'll shout to call you back.
00:31:21This is ridiculous.
00:31:23Only a wimp would be hiding under a bed.
00:31:25And I can't be a wimp.
00:31:27I'm the man of the house.
00:31:30Hey, I'm not afraid anymore.
00:31:35I said, I'm not afraid anymore.
00:31:39Do you hear me? I'm not afraid anymore.
00:31:53Help!
00:31:55Help!
00:31:57Help!
00:32:19Village Police Department.
00:32:21Yeah, hi, look, I'm calling from Paris.
00:32:23I have a son who's home alone.
00:32:25The phones there are out of order, so I'd like somebody to go over to our house,
00:32:28tell him that we're coming home to get him.
00:32:30Okay, let me connect you with Family Crisis Intervention.
00:32:32No, it's not a family crisis.
00:32:34Hold on.
00:32:37Larry, can you pick up? There's some lady on hold. Sounds kind of hyper.
00:32:40What line, Rose?
00:32:42Two.
00:32:44Family Crisis Intervention, Sergeant Balzac.
00:32:46I'm calling from Paris. I have a son who's home alone.
00:32:49Has the child been involved in a violent altercation
00:32:51with a drunken and or mentally ill member of his immediate family?
00:32:54No.
00:32:56Has he been involved in a household accident?
00:32:58I don't know. I don't... I hope not.
00:33:01Has the child ingested any poison and or any other object
00:33:04that has become lodged in his throat?
00:33:06No, he's just home alone, and I would like somebody to go over to the house
00:33:09and see that he's all right, just to check on him.
00:33:12You want us to go to your house just to check on him?
00:33:16Yes.
00:33:18Let me connect you with the police department.
00:33:20No, they just transferred me to you.
00:33:22Rose! Hyper on two. Hold on, please.
00:33:25No, please don't hang up. Please don't hang up.
00:33:28Any luck?
00:33:30No. Couldn't get anybody.
00:33:33Leslie?
00:33:35I'm sorry, Kate. Nothing but a bunch of answering machines.
00:33:39Somebody pick up. Pick up!
00:33:42Oh, hi, ma'am. It's you again.
00:33:44Yeah, hi. Look, I'm calling from Paris.
00:33:46I have a son who's home alone, and I...
00:33:49Okay, well, send a policeman over to your house to check on your son.
00:34:20There's no one home. The house looks secure.
00:34:23Time to count their kids again.
00:34:26I can't believe that you can't bump somebody or ask somebody or...
00:34:29I'm sorry, but there's no way I can do that.
00:34:31Well, isn't there a way, like, if you ask somebody?
00:34:33I mean, if you brought somebody up here and you explained to them that this is an emergency.
00:34:36I wish I could, but I cannot ask somebody.
00:34:38He's sending a policeman over to the house to check on Kevin.
00:34:40Well, that's some relief. Everything here is booked.
00:34:43There's nothing to Chicago?
00:34:45There's nothing to Chicago, New York, Nashville, you name it. Everything's gone.
00:34:49What about a private plane?
00:34:51No, I'm sorry. We don't do that.
00:34:53The only thing they have is a booking for all of us on Friday morning.
00:34:56Friday morning? That's two days away.
00:34:58Look, honey, the kids are exhausted. You are exhausted.
00:35:01There's absolutely nothing more that we can do in this airport.
00:35:03Now, I say we go over to Rob's, and that way we can call the police again, and they can get back to us.
00:35:07Peter, Kevin is home all by himself. I'm not leaving here unless it's on an airplane.
00:35:11Madam, we are doing everything we can.
00:35:13Now, if you want to stay at the airport, maybe we can get you on standby.
00:35:17It is a possibility that the seat will open up.
00:35:21Okay.
00:35:22Yes. I'll wait.
00:35:30Bye. I'll miss you.
00:35:31Bye.
00:35:33Thank you.
00:35:36Don't you get lost.
00:35:39Goodbye.
00:35:40Thank you for everything.
00:35:42Have a good day.
00:35:44Please come home for Christmas
00:35:48Cause I'll be happy
00:35:50Christmas
00:35:52Once again
00:35:57I took a shower, washing every body part with natural soap,
00:36:01including all my major crevices, including in between my toes and in my belly button,
00:36:05which I never did before but sort of enjoyed.
00:36:08I wash my hair with the don't form in the shampoo, and use cream rinse for that just washed shine.
00:36:14I can't seem to find my toothbrush, so I'll pick one up when I go out today.
00:36:18Other than that, I'm in good shape.
00:36:21Ah!
00:36:39No.
00:36:43No.
00:36:47No.
00:36:51No.
00:36:54No!
00:36:55No!
00:37:11All right.
00:37:12Buzz's life savings.
00:37:25I thought the Murphy's went to Florida.
00:37:56You know, you're one of the great cat burglars in the world, Mark.
00:37:59You think you can keep it down a little in there, huh?
00:38:02Hi, you've reached the Murphy's. Please leave a message after you hear the beep.
00:38:07Chuck, this is Peter McAllister again, and we're still in Paris at my brother's apartment.
00:38:11Let me give you the number here, okay?
00:38:13The country code is 3-3, the area code is 1-4, and the number is 6-9-4-8-7-6...
00:38:21Hey, Harry?
00:38:22Yeah?
00:38:23That house we were at last night, was that the McAllister's?
00:38:26Yeah.
00:38:28Call me in Paris.
00:38:29You're right. They're gone.
00:38:35I knew they were.
00:38:36Silver tuna tonight.
00:38:40Wow.
00:38:42Wow.
00:38:49How may I help you?
00:38:51Is this toothbrush approved by the American Dental Association?
00:38:55Well, I don't know.
00:38:57It doesn't say, hon.
00:38:59Can you please find out?
00:39:04Herb?
00:39:05Yeah?
00:39:06I've got a question here about a toothbrush.
00:39:10Toothbrush?
00:39:16Do you know, is this toothbrush approved by the American Dental Association?
00:39:21I don't know.
00:39:22Please check.
00:39:24Well...
00:39:40Just tell me.
00:39:41Oh, hon, you pay for that here.
00:39:46Wait, son, you have to pay for that toothbrush.
00:39:48Son?
00:39:49Son?
00:39:50Hey!
00:39:52Jimmy, stop that boy!
00:39:59Hey!
00:40:00Hey!
00:40:04Stop him!
00:40:06Stop him!
00:40:08Shoplifter!
00:40:13Hey!
00:40:14Hey, kid!
00:40:22Come back here!
00:40:25Stop it, will you?
00:40:27Come here!
00:40:30Wow!
00:40:32Wow!
00:40:34Wow!
00:40:35Wow!
00:40:36Wow!
00:40:40Wow!
00:41:05I'm a criminal.
00:41:36What's so funny?
00:41:38What's so funny?
00:41:40What are you laughing at?
00:41:44You did it again, didn't you?
00:41:47You left the water running, didn't you?
00:41:49What's wrong with you?
00:41:50Why do you do that?
00:41:51I told you not to do it.
00:41:52Harry, it's our calling card.
00:41:54Calling card.
00:41:55All the great ones leave their mark.
00:41:57We're the wit bandits.
00:41:59You're sick, you know that?
00:42:01You're really sick.
00:42:02I'm not sick.
00:42:03Yes, you are.
00:42:04You're sick.
00:42:05That's a sick thing to do.
00:42:12We don't need that car anymore.
00:42:13Don't tell me what to do, okay?
00:42:15I can do it if I want to.
00:42:18I'm sick.
00:42:19Hey, watch out!
00:42:29Hey!
00:42:30Hey!
00:42:31You gotta watch out for traffic, son, you know?
00:42:33Sorry.
00:42:35Sandy, don't visit the funeral homes, little buddy.
00:42:39Okay, okay.
00:42:41Merry Christmas.
00:42:53What's the matter?
00:42:55I don't like the way that kid looked at me.
00:42:56Did you see that?
00:42:57You ever seen him before?
00:42:58I saw a hundred kids this week.
00:43:00Let's see what house he goes into.
00:43:31Why's he going faster?
00:43:33I told you something's wrong.
00:43:35He looked at me weird.
00:43:36Why would he run?
00:44:00Maybe we're in the church.
00:44:01I'm not going in there.
00:44:02Me neither.
00:44:03Let's get out of here.
00:44:31Those guys come back, I'll be ready.
00:44:35Those guys come back, I'll be ready.
00:44:38Those guys come back, I'll be ready.
00:44:44Those guys come back, I'll be ready.
00:45:08Did they come back?
00:45:10Iris.
00:45:38I'll come back tomorrow.
00:45:39Maybe they'll be gone by then.
00:45:41We better get out of here before somebody sees us.
00:46:07No, wait a minute.
00:46:08There's no need to wait 24 hours.
00:46:10I have no advice to give.
00:46:12It's all decided.
00:46:13I know what I have to say.
00:46:14It's no, no, no way.
00:46:16You've been in your chair all day.
00:46:18Watch out!
00:46:19Watch out!
00:46:20Look what I have found in the kitchen.
00:46:22Frank, close it for later.
00:46:23Frank.
00:46:27My little children.
00:46:28My little children.
00:46:29My little children.
00:46:30My little children.
00:46:31My little children.
00:46:32My little children.
00:46:33My little children.
00:46:34My little children.
00:46:35My little children.
00:46:36Do you want a little shrimp?
00:46:40Do you speak English?
00:46:43Do you speak English?
00:46:45What is it?
00:46:52Did you get anybody?
00:46:53I am looking for my son.
00:46:54Do you know where he is?
00:46:56No, I can't find anybody.
00:46:57They're home.
00:46:58They've all gone shopping.
00:46:59Nobody's home for the holidays.
00:47:01Never mind, forget it.
00:47:03This is so pointless.
00:47:05What?
00:47:07We're here rotting in this apartment.
00:47:09Kevin's at home.
00:47:10Mom's at the airport.
00:47:12So?
00:47:13You're not at all worried about Kevin.
00:47:15Why should I be?
00:47:16He's acted like a jerk once too many times,
00:47:18and this time he caught it in the butt.
00:47:21He's so little and helpless.
00:47:23Don't you think he's flipped out?
00:47:25The little trout can use a couple of days in the real world.
00:47:28You're not at all worried that something might happen to him?
00:47:31No, for three reasons.
00:47:33A, I'm not that lucky.
00:47:35Two, we have smoke detectors.
00:47:38And D, we live in the most boring street in the United States of America
00:47:42where nothing even remotely dangerous will ever happen.
00:47:45Period.
00:48:02BELL RINGS
00:48:13Who is it?
00:48:14It's Little Nero, sir. I have your pizza.
00:48:17Leave it on the doorstep and get the hell out of here.
00:48:21Okay.
00:48:23Um, well, what about the money?
00:48:26What money?
00:48:27What money?
00:48:29Well, you have to pay for your pizza, sir.
00:48:33That a fact.
00:48:34How much do I owe you?
00:48:37Uh, that'll be $11.80, sir.
00:48:47Keep the change, you filthy animal.
00:48:51Cheapskate.
00:48:53I'm gonna give you to the count of ten
00:48:55to get your ugly, yellow, no-good keister off my property
00:49:00before I pump your guts full of lead.
00:49:03One, two, ten.
00:49:24TIRES SCREECH
00:49:33A lovely cheese pizza just for me.
00:49:40To Dallas-Fort Worth.
00:49:45So we have the $500, the pocket translator, the two first-class seats.
00:49:49That's an upgrade from your coach.
00:49:51Is that a real Rolex?
00:49:54Do you think it is?
00:49:56No. But who can tell?
00:49:58I also have a ring.
00:50:00That is beautiful.
00:50:02Come on, Irene, they're boarding.
00:50:04Oh, this gal has offered us two first-class tickets if we go Friday.
00:50:08Plus a ring, a watch, a pocket translator, $500, and...
00:50:12The earrings. You love the earrings.
00:50:14She's got her own earrings, a whole shoebox full of dangly ones.
00:50:18No, but...
00:50:22I'm begging you, from a mother to a mother, please.
00:50:28Oh, Ed, please.
00:50:31Oh, all right.
00:50:39Here's how to close. I got a little sister last year.
00:50:41This year, I'd rather have some clay dough.
00:50:52Here, sweetie.
00:50:58I didn't mean it.
00:51:00If you come back, I'll never be a pain in the butt again.
00:51:03I promise.
00:51:05Good night.
00:51:21Do-do-do-do
00:51:23Do-do-do-do
00:51:25I'm
00:51:27Do-do-do-do
00:51:28Dreaming
00:51:29Do-do-do-do
00:51:30Of a white
00:51:31Do-do-do-do
00:51:32Christmas
00:51:33Do-do-do-do
00:51:34Just like the ones I used to know
00:51:38Do-do-do-do
00:51:39Do-do-do-do
00:51:40Where those tree tops
00:51:42Listen
00:51:44And
00:51:46Children listen
00:51:48To him
00:51:49Do-do-do-do
00:51:50Sleigh bells in the snow
00:51:53Do-do-do-do
00:51:54The snow
00:51:55Do-do-do-do
00:51:56Then I am
00:51:59Alive
00:52:01Christmas
00:52:04With every Christmas car I ride
00:52:11May your days, may your days, may your days
00:52:14Be merry and bright
00:52:19Stan, I need a price check on Chris Valiant's can.
00:52:22Can I have the number for your free can, please?
00:52:24Thank you.
00:52:26Are those microwave dinners any good?
00:52:50I don't know.
00:52:52Give him a whirl.
00:52:59For the kids.
00:53:03Hold on, I got a coupon for that.
00:53:06It was in the paper this morning.
00:53:12Nineteen eighty-three.
00:53:13Okay.
00:53:19You're all by yourself.
00:53:22Ma'am, I'm eight years old.
00:53:24You think I'd be here alone?
00:53:26I don't think so.
00:53:29Where's your mom?
00:53:30My mom's in the car.
00:53:31Where's your father?
00:53:32He's at work.
00:53:33What about your brothers and your sisters?
00:53:35I'm an only child.
00:53:37Where do you live?
00:53:38I can't tell you that.
00:53:39Why not?
00:53:40You're a stranger.
00:54:09Shut up.
00:54:39I don't get it.
00:54:43I mean, right now, it looks like there's nobody home.
00:54:46Last night, the place is jumping.
00:54:49Something ain't right.
00:54:52Go check it out.
00:55:02Now?
00:55:03No, tomorrow, egghead.
00:55:05Now!
00:55:06Egghead!
00:55:28Shit.
00:55:32Get the hell out of here.
00:55:34All right, Johnny.
00:55:35But what about my money?
00:55:37What money?
00:55:38A.C. said you had some dough for me.
00:55:41Is that a fact?
00:55:42How much do I owe you?
00:55:44A.C. said ten percent.
00:55:47Too bad A.C. ain't in charge no more.
00:55:50What do you mean?
00:55:51He's upstairs taking a bath.
00:55:54He'll call you when he gets out.
00:55:58Hey, I'll tell you what I'm gonna give you, snakes.
00:56:03I'm gonna give you, to the count of ten,
00:56:06to get your ugly, yellow, no-good keister off my property
00:56:11before I pump your guts full of lead.
00:56:13All right, Johnny, I'm sorry.
00:56:15I'm going.
00:56:16One, two, ten.
00:56:19Ten!
00:56:38Keep the change, you filthy animal.
00:56:46What happened?
00:56:47I don't know who's in there,
00:56:48but somebody just got blown away.
00:56:50Huh?
00:56:51Somebody beat us to the job.
00:56:52They're in there.
00:56:53Two of them.
00:56:54There was arguing.
00:56:55One of them blew the other one away.
00:56:57Who?
00:56:58I don't know.
00:56:59I thought I recognized one of their voices.
00:57:02And I know I heard that name, snakes, before.
00:57:05Snakes?
00:57:06Snakes, snakes.
00:57:07I don't know no snakes.
00:57:09Snakes.
00:57:10Let's get out of here.
00:57:14Hold it, hold it.
00:57:16Let's wait and see who it is.
00:57:18We work this neighborhood, too.
00:57:19Yeah.
00:57:20Supposing a cop's finger us for a job
00:57:22and they start asking us questions
00:57:24about a murder in the area.
00:57:25Wouldn't it be nice to have a face
00:57:27to go with their questions?
00:57:31That's a good idea.
00:57:33Of course it's a good idea.
00:57:35Snakes.
00:57:36You sound like a snake.
00:57:45Everything's full.
00:57:46Everything's full.
00:57:48I'm very sorry, but it is Christmas Eve.
00:57:51What about another airline?
00:57:58Nothing available.
00:57:59May I help you get a hotel room in the city?
00:58:01Tomorrow afternoon we can get you a flight to Chicago.
00:58:03I can't wait that long.
00:58:05I'm terribly sorry, ma'am,
00:58:07but we're doing absolutely everything we can.
00:58:13Go ahead.
00:58:14I'm sorry.
00:58:15Excuse me.
00:58:16You have places to go, people to see.
00:58:17Got a ticket there.
00:58:18That's good.
00:58:19Excuse me.
00:58:20Look, I have been awake for almost 60 hours.
00:58:23I'm tired and I'm dirty.
00:58:25I've been from Chicago to Paris to Dallas to...
00:58:28Where the hell am I?
00:58:29Scranton.
00:58:31I am trying to get home to my eight-year-old son.
00:58:34And now that I'm this close,
00:58:35you're telling me it's hopeless?
00:58:37I'm sorry.
00:58:38No, no, no, no, no way.
00:58:40This is Christmas,
00:58:41the season of perpetual hope.
00:58:43Ma'am, if...
00:58:44And I don't care if I have to get out on your runway and hitchhike,
00:58:46if it costs me everything I own,
00:58:48if I have to sell my soul to the devil himself,
00:58:52I am going to get home to my son.
00:58:56Ma'am, if there was anything at all I could do for you today...
00:58:58Do it.
00:58:59Do anything.
00:59:00I can get you a hotel room.
00:59:02What?
00:59:03Excuse me.
00:59:04Can you excuse us for a second?
00:59:05Can I see you for a second, please?
00:59:07Excuse us.
00:59:08Help me.
00:59:10Couldn't help but hear,
00:59:11and you got a little bit of a dilemma there.
00:59:13We got a crisis ourselves.
00:59:16Allow me to introduce myself.
00:59:17Gus Polinski.
00:59:19How are you?
00:59:21Polka King of the Midwest.
00:59:26The Kenosha Kickers.
00:59:29Hi there.
00:59:30No?
00:59:31That's okay.
00:59:32I thought you might have recognized...
00:59:33Anyways,
00:59:35I had a few hits a few years ago.
00:59:37That's why, you know,
00:59:38Polka, Polka, Polka.
00:59:40Polka, Polka, Polka.
00:59:42No?
00:59:43Twin Lakes Polka.
00:59:45Damo Fuji Polka.
00:59:46A.K.A. Kiss Me Polka.
00:59:48Polka Twist.
00:59:49These are songs.
00:59:51Yeah.
00:59:52Yeah, some fairly big hits for us,
00:59:54you know, in the early 70s, you know.
00:59:56Yeah, we sold about 623 copies of that.
00:59:59In Chicago?
01:00:00No, Sheboygan.
01:00:01Very big in Sheboygan.
01:00:02They loved it, you know.
01:00:03I'm sorry, did you say you could help me?
01:00:05Anyway, I'm Dan Raymond.
01:00:07Our flight was canceled,
01:00:09so we got to drive.
01:00:11See the guy in the yellow jacket over there?
01:00:13By the budget sign,
01:00:14he's going to rent us a nice big van
01:00:16and we're going to drive to Milwaukee.
01:00:17Now, I heard you had some problems.
01:00:19You're getting to Chicago
01:00:21to see your kid or something?
01:00:22My son, he...
01:00:24We left and he...
01:00:26He's there.
01:00:27Oh, jeez.
01:00:28If you have to get to Chicago,
01:00:29we'll gladly drive you.
01:00:30It's on the way to Milwaukee.
01:00:33You'll give me a ride?
01:00:34Sure we will, why not?
01:00:35You know, you got to get home and see your kid.
01:00:37A ride to Chicago?
01:00:38Sure, yeah, it's Christmas time.
01:00:41Thank you.
01:00:42Oh, thank you.
01:00:43You don't mind going with some polka bums?
01:00:45No, I'd love to.
01:01:05Hey, Mark.
01:01:06Mark, Mark.
01:01:07Huh?
01:01:08Look at this.
01:01:15I think we're getting scammed
01:01:17by a kindy guy.
01:01:19Heh, heh, heh.
01:01:35Oh.
01:01:54Dad, can you come here and help me?
01:02:01Remember that kid we saw the other day?
01:02:04He lives here.
01:02:05Well, if the kid's there, the parent's got to be.
01:02:08He's home alone.
01:02:18You got to be kidding.
01:02:19You want to come back tonight?
01:02:20Uh-huh.
01:02:21Even with the kid here?
01:02:22Uh-huh.
01:02:23I don't think that's a good idea, Harry.
01:02:24Hey, look.
01:02:25That house is the only reason
01:02:26we started working this block in the first place.
01:02:28Ever since I laid eyes on that house, I wanted it.
01:02:30So let's take it one step at a time, okay?
01:02:32We'll unload the van,
01:02:34we'll get a bite to eat,
01:02:35and we'll come back about 9 o'clock.
01:02:38But this way, it's dark then.
01:02:40Yeah.
01:02:41Kids are scared of the dark.
01:02:43You're afraid of the dark, too, Mom.
01:02:45You know you are.
01:02:47No, I'm not.
01:02:49Yes, you are.
01:02:50I'm not, not, not.
01:02:51You are so.
01:02:52Mom, where are you?
01:03:03Hey.
01:03:10Keep quiet.
01:03:11Quiet.
01:03:12Quiet, quiet.
01:03:13Fire.
01:03:14Fire.
01:03:15Peck.
01:03:17Peep.
01:03:23Peck.
01:03:32Excuse me.
01:03:44Yeah.
01:03:46Hey, nice shoes.
01:03:48Oh, thanks.
01:03:50Is he still here?
01:03:51It's really important that I see him.
01:03:54Well, he's getting in his car.
01:03:56I guess if you hurry you can catch him.
01:03:59Damn.
01:03:59How low can you get giving Kris Kringle a parking
01:04:02ticket on Christmas Eve?
01:04:03What's next, rabies shots for the Easter bunny?
01:04:06Dad, hold on.
01:04:10Can I talk to you for a minute?
01:04:11Yeah, if you make it quick.
01:04:12Santa's got a little get together he's late for.
01:04:14OK.
01:04:15I know you're not the real Santa Claus.
01:04:17What makes you say that?
01:04:18Just out of curiosity.
01:04:21I'm old enough to know how it works.
01:04:23All right.
01:04:24But I also know that you work for him.
01:04:27I would like you to give him a message.
01:04:29Shoot.
01:04:30I'm Kevin McAllister, 671 Lincoln Boulevard.
01:04:34Do you need the phone number?
01:04:35No, that's all right.
01:04:36OK.
01:04:37This is extremely important.
01:04:39Would you please tell him that instead of presents this year,
01:04:42I just want my family back.
01:04:44No toys, nothing but Peter, Kate, Buzz, Megan, Linnie,
01:04:48and Jeff, and my aunt and my cousins.
01:04:51And if he has time, my Uncle Frank.
01:04:54OK?
01:04:56OK.
01:04:58See what I can do.
01:04:59Thanks.
01:05:00Wait, hold on a second.
01:05:02My elf took the last of the candy
01:05:04canes home to her boyfriend.
01:05:05That's OK.
01:05:06No, no, no, don't be silly.
01:05:07Everybody sees Santa's got to get something.
01:05:10Here, pull out your little paw there.
01:05:13There you go.
01:05:15Don't spoil your dinner.
01:05:16I won't.
01:05:17Thanks.
01:05:27Ah!
01:05:30Son of a.
01:05:31TREMBLING PIANO MUSIC
01:05:55Hey.
01:06:01♪ The joy of our Christmas ♪
01:06:06♪ Give it all again to me ♪
01:06:14♪ All of our music, all of our magic ♪
01:06:20♪ All of our memory, all of our feeling me ♪
01:06:31♪ All of our fear, all of our pain and sorrow ♪
01:06:39♪ Give it all again to me ♪
01:06:44♪ All of our music, all of our feeling me ♪
01:06:50♪ All of our memory, all of our pain and sorrow ♪
01:06:56♪ All of our joy, all of our memory, all of our pain ♪
01:07:01the new and glorious morn.
01:07:05Fall on your knees.
01:07:11Believe the angel voices.
01:07:18O night divine!
01:07:24O night when Christ was born.
01:07:31O night!
01:07:34O holy night!
01:07:40O night divine!
01:07:48So let my light of the stars be believing.
01:07:55It came, the wise men from Orient land.
01:08:02The King of kings laid us in lowly manger.
01:08:09In all our trials, born to be our friend.
01:08:16Fall on your knees.
01:08:22O hear the angel voices.
01:08:29Merry Christmas.
01:08:33May I sit down?
01:08:34O night, O night, when Christ was born.
01:08:42O night, O night, when Christ was born.
01:08:46That's my granddaughter up there, the little red-haired girl.
01:08:52She's about your age.
01:08:53You know her?
01:08:54No.
01:08:55You live next to me, don't you?
01:08:59Yeah.
01:09:00You can say hello when you see me.
01:09:01You don't have to be afraid.
01:09:03There's a lot of things going around about me, but none of it's true.
01:09:07Okay?
01:09:08Been a good boy this year?
01:09:11I think so.
01:09:12You swear to it?
01:09:13No.
01:09:14Yeah, I had a feeling.
01:09:15Well, this is the place to be if you're feeling bad about yourself.
01:09:20It is?
01:09:21I think so.
01:09:22Are you feeling bad about yourself?
01:09:25No.
01:09:30I'm in kind of a pain lately.
01:09:32I said some things I shouldn't have.
01:09:35I really haven't been too good this year.
01:09:38Yeah.
01:09:39I'm kind of upset about it because I really like my family.
01:09:43Even though sometimes I say I don't, sometimes I even think I don't.
01:09:48Do you get that?
01:09:49I think so.
01:09:51How you feel about your family is a complicated thing.
01:09:54Especially with an older brother.
01:09:57Deep down, you always love them.
01:10:00But you forget that you love them.
01:10:02And you can hurt them and they can hurt you.
01:10:05And that's not just because you're young.
01:10:08You want to know the real reason why I'm here right now?
01:10:12Sure.
01:10:13I came to hear my granddaughter sing.
01:10:16And I can't come in here tonight.
01:10:18You have plans?
01:10:19No.
01:10:20I'm not welcome.
01:10:22At church?
01:10:24Oh, you're always welcome at church.
01:10:26I'm not welcome with my son.
01:10:29Years back, before you and your family moved into the block,
01:10:34I had an argument with my son.
01:10:36How old is he?
01:10:38He's grown up.
01:10:40We lost our tempers.
01:10:43And I said I didn't care to see him anymore.
01:10:46He said the same.
01:10:48We haven't spoken to each other since.
01:10:51If you miss him, why don't you call him?
01:10:54I'm afraid if I call him, he won't talk to me.
01:10:57How do you know?
01:10:59I don't know.
01:11:01I'm just afraid he won't.
01:11:03No offense, but aren't you a little old to be afraid?
01:11:07You can be a little old for a lot of things.
01:11:10You're never too old to be afraid.
01:11:12That's true.
01:11:13I've always been afraid of our basement.
01:11:15It's dark.
01:11:16There's weird stuff down there.
01:11:18And it smells funny, that sort of thing.
01:11:21It's bothered me for years.
01:11:23Basements are like that.
01:11:25Then I made myself go down there to do some laundry.
01:11:28And I found out it's not so bad.
01:11:30All this time I've been worrying about it.
01:11:32But if you turn on the lights, it's no big deal.
01:11:35What's your point?
01:11:37My point is you should call your son.
01:11:40What if he won't talk to me?
01:11:42At least you'll know.
01:11:44Then you can stop worrying about it.
01:11:46And he won't have to be afraid anymore.
01:11:49I don't care how mad I was, I'd talk to my dad.
01:11:52Especially around the holidays.
01:11:55I don't know.
01:11:57Just give it a shot.
01:11:59For your granddaughter, anyway.
01:12:01I'm sure she misses you.
01:12:03And the presents.
01:12:05I sent her a check.
01:12:07I wish my grandparents did that.
01:12:09They always send me clothes.
01:12:11I got a sweater with a big bird knitted on it.
01:12:14Oh, that's nice.
01:12:16Not for a guy in the second grade.
01:12:18You can get beat up for wearing something like that.
01:12:21Yeah.
01:12:23I have a friend who got nailed
01:12:25because there was a rumor he wore dinosaur pajamas.
01:12:28You better run along home where you belong.
01:12:31You think about what I said, all right?
01:12:33Okay.
01:12:35It was nice talking to you.
01:12:37Nice talking to you.
01:12:42What about you?
01:12:44Me?
01:12:46Yeah, you and your son.
01:12:48We'll see what happens.
01:12:51Merry Christmas.
01:12:54Merry Christmas.
01:13:11Merry Christmas.
01:13:42This is my house.
01:13:44I have to defend it.
01:14:12Merry Christmas.
01:14:14Merry Christmas.
01:14:41Merry Christmas.
01:15:12Okay, we'll check it out first.
01:15:14We can always come back for the truck.
01:15:26How do you want to go in?
01:15:28We'll go to the back door.
01:15:30Maybe he'll let us in.
01:15:32You never know.
01:15:34He's a kid.
01:15:36Kids are stupid.
01:15:38Bless this highly nutritious
01:15:40microwavable macaroni and cheese dinner
01:15:42and the people who sold it on sale.
01:15:44Amen.
01:15:46Bless this highly nutritious
01:15:48microwavable macaroni and cheese dinner
01:15:50and the people who sold it on sale.
01:15:52Amen.
01:16:16Don't get scared now.
01:16:31Merry Christmas, little fella.
01:16:35We know that you're in there
01:16:37and that you're all alone.
01:16:40Yeah, come on, kid, open up.
01:16:43It's Santy Claus
01:16:45and his elf.
01:16:48We're not going to hurt you.
01:16:50No, no.
01:16:52Got some nice presents for you.
01:16:54Be a good little fella now
01:16:56and open the door.
01:17:02What?
01:17:05What?
01:17:07What?
01:17:09What happened?
01:17:15What?
01:17:23Hello.
01:17:30Yes!
01:17:32Yes!
01:17:33The little jerk is armed!
01:17:35That's it! That's it!
01:17:36I'm going around the front.
01:17:37You go down the basement.
01:17:45I'm going around the front.
01:18:16Ow!
01:18:40That's what I'm talking about.
01:18:45Ooh!
01:18:51Aah!
01:18:53Ooh!
01:18:55Ooh!
01:19:25Aah!
01:19:55Ow!
01:20:11Oh, boy.
01:20:13That's it, you little...
01:20:15You little...
01:20:17Oh, not this time.
01:20:19You little rat.
01:20:21Ha-ha-ha!
01:20:23You little...
01:20:29Aah!
01:20:34Aah!
01:20:36Ow!
01:20:50Yes!
01:20:52Yes, yes, yes, yes!
01:21:13Aah!
01:21:17Aah!
01:21:20You little...
01:21:25I'll rip his head off!
01:21:37Dead kid.
01:21:41Aah!
01:21:46Aah!
01:21:49Ow!
01:21:56Aah!
01:21:58Aah!
01:22:01Aah!
01:22:03Aah!
01:22:05Aah!
01:22:11Ooh!
01:22:13Oh.
01:22:17Oh, boy.
01:22:22Aah!
01:22:25Where are you, you little creep?
01:22:31Hey!
01:22:43Harry!
01:22:45I'm coming in!
01:22:51Oh, no, I'm really scared.
01:22:53It's too late for you, kid.
01:22:55We're already in the house.
01:22:57We're gonna get you.
01:22:59Come and get me!
01:23:01Who are you?
01:23:08Now you're dead!
01:23:30Aah!
01:23:33Aah!
01:23:35I'm gonna kill that kid!
01:23:42Aah!
01:23:53Marv!
01:23:54Harry?
01:23:55Where the hell did you take your shoes off?
01:23:57Why the hell are you dressed like a chicken?
01:24:01I'm up here, you morons!
01:24:03Come and get me!
01:24:08You guys give up, or you're thirsty for more?
01:24:21Heads up!
01:24:23Aah!
01:24:25Don't worry, Marv, I'll get him for you.
01:24:27Harry!
01:24:32Yes!
01:24:38He's only a kid, Harry.
01:24:40We can take him.
01:24:41Oh, shut up, will ya?
01:24:42Ooh.
01:24:43What is it?
01:24:44You're missing some teeth.
01:24:46Where?
01:24:47That's where I go to.
01:24:49I go to.
01:24:50I'll kill him. I'll kill him!
01:24:51I'll kill him!
01:24:54You bomb me with one more can, kid,
01:24:56and I'll snap off your cojones
01:24:58and boil them in motor oil!
01:25:04911, emergency.
01:25:05Hello, my house is being robbed.
01:25:07My address is 656 Lincoln Boulevard.
01:25:10My name's Murphy.
01:25:16Watch it, you should never know what's up there.
01:25:18There he is!
01:25:20No!
01:25:25I gotcha! I got him, Harry!
01:25:28I got him!
01:25:30Harry, get up! Give me a hand!
01:25:33Ow!
01:25:35I got him!
01:25:37Harry, help me! Get up!
01:25:40I got him!
01:25:46Aah!
01:25:48Aah!
01:25:50Aah!
01:25:52Aah!
01:25:54Aah!
01:26:19What are you doing, Marv?
01:26:21Harry, don't move.
01:26:24Marv?
01:26:25Don't move.
01:26:28Marv, what are you doing?
01:26:30Marv.
01:26:31Oh, jeez!
01:26:34Did I get him?
01:26:36Did I get him?
01:26:38Where is it?
01:26:39Where is it?
01:26:40Never mind it, you get it!
01:26:42How do you like it, huh, you jerk?
01:26:44Get that cake for me!
01:26:46You jerk!
01:26:47Get that cake for me!
01:26:48Get that cake!
01:26:54Whoa!
01:26:55Whoa!
01:26:56Whoa!
01:26:57Whoa!
01:26:58Whoa!
01:26:59Whoa!
01:27:00Whoa!
01:27:01Whoa!
01:27:02Whoa!
01:27:03Aah!
01:27:04Aah!
01:27:05Aah!
01:27:06Aah!
01:27:07Aah!
01:27:16Where'd he go?
01:27:18Maybe he committed suicide.
01:27:21Down here, you big horse's ass!
01:27:23Come and get me before I call the police!
01:27:26Let's get him!
01:27:27Wait, wait.
01:27:28It's just what he wants us to do.
01:27:30It's to go back downstairs through his funhouse
01:27:32so we get all tore up.
01:27:33You gotta call the cops!
01:27:34He's not calling from a treehouse!
01:27:37Come on.
01:27:39Out the window?
01:27:41Yeah.
01:27:42Not going out the window?
01:27:43What, are you scared, Marv?
01:27:44Are you afraid?
01:27:45Come on, get out of here.
01:27:51Come on.
01:27:59Come on!
01:28:07Let's go back, Harry!
01:28:08Shut up!
01:28:15Shut it, Marv!
01:28:20Hey, guys.
01:28:21Check this out.
01:28:23Go back!
01:28:24Go back!
01:28:25Go back!
01:28:26Okay.
01:28:31Aah!
01:28:46There he goes!
01:28:47There he is!
01:28:48Get out of the way!
01:28:49Go, go, go!
01:29:11There he is!
01:29:13There he is!
01:29:14Hey, I'm calling the cops!
01:29:17Wait, wait, wait.
01:29:18He wants us to follow him.
01:29:20I got a better idea.
01:29:21Come on.
01:29:40Hiya.
01:29:41Hiya, pal.
01:29:43We outsmarted you this time.
01:29:45Get over here!
01:29:52What are you gonna do to him, Harry?
01:29:54I'll do exactly what he did to us.
01:29:56I'll burn his head with a blowtorch.
01:29:58I'll smash his face with an iron.
01:30:00I can slap him right in the face with a paint can, maybe.
01:30:03Or shove a nail through his foot.
01:30:05First thing I'm gonna do is bite off every one of these little fingers,
01:30:08one at a time.
01:30:11Yeah.
01:30:20Come on.
01:30:21Let's get you home.
01:30:41All right.
01:30:45Wow.
01:30:46This is great.
01:30:51Nice move.
01:30:52Always leaving the water running.
01:30:54Now we know each and every house that you've hit.
01:31:01Hey, you know, we've been looking for you two guys for a long time.
01:31:04Yeah.
01:31:05Remember, we're the Wet Bandits.
01:31:07Wet Bandits.
01:31:08Shut up!
01:31:10Hey, come on.
01:31:12Hands off the head, pal!
01:31:14Come on.
01:31:18Have yourself a merry little Christmas
01:31:25Let your heart be light
01:31:30From now on your troubles will be out of sight
01:31:39Through the years we all will be together
01:31:47If the fates allow
01:31:51Hang a shining star upon the highest bow
01:32:01And have yourself a merry little Christmas now
01:32:11I'm a bad parent.
01:32:13I'm a bad parent.
01:32:14You're not.
01:32:15You know, you're beating yourself up there.
01:32:17Come on, this happens.
01:32:18This thing happens, you know.
01:32:20Gee, you want to talk about bad parents?
01:32:22Look at us.
01:32:24I mean, we're on the road 48, 49 weeks out of the year.
01:32:26We hardly see our families.
01:32:29Yeah, you know, Joe over there.
01:32:31Gosh, you know, he forgets his kids' names half the time.
01:32:35Ziggy over there, he's never even met his kid.
01:32:39Eddie.
01:32:41Let's just hope none of them write a book about him.
01:32:44Tell me, have you ever gone on vacation and left your child home?
01:32:51No.
01:32:53But I did leave one at a funeral parlor once.
01:32:57It was terrible, too.
01:32:59You know, I was all distraught and everything, you know, the wife and I.
01:33:02We left the little tyke there in the funeral parlor all day.
01:33:06All day.
01:33:07You know, we went back at night when, you know, when we came to our senses.
01:33:10And there he was.
01:33:11Apparently he was there alone all day with a corpse.
01:33:15Now he was okay, you know, after six, seven weeks.
01:33:19And I came around, started talking again.
01:33:22But he's okay.
01:33:24You know, they get over it.
01:33:25Kids are resilient like that.
01:33:26We shouldn't talk about this.
01:33:27You brought it up.
01:33:28I was just, you know, trying to cheer you up.
01:33:30I'm sorry, Eddie.
01:33:57Mom?
01:34:04Mom?
01:34:09Mom?
01:34:26Mom?
01:34:57Kevin!
01:35:00Kevin!
01:35:26Mom?
01:35:34Merry Christmas, sweetheart.
01:35:45Oh, Kevin, I'm so sorry.
01:35:57Where's everybody else?
01:35:59Oh, baby, they couldn't come.
01:36:02They wanted to somewhere.
01:36:04You know, I didn't fall asleep in the back of the cabin, Jewel.
01:36:07You did, I did.
01:36:08You did, Jewel.
01:36:09I should get up.
01:36:10Come on, you guys.
01:36:11Let's rest.
01:36:12Kevin.
01:36:13Kevin.
01:36:14Kevin, my boy.
01:36:15Kevin.
01:36:16Oh, it's good to see you.
01:36:17It's good to see you.
01:36:18It's good to see you.
01:36:19It's good to see you.
01:36:20It's good to see you.
01:36:21It's good to see you.
01:36:22It's good to see you.
01:36:23It's good to see you.
01:36:24It's good to see you.
01:36:25It's good to see you.
01:36:26It's good to see you.
01:36:27Ah, you're all right.
01:36:28That's all right.
01:36:29I love you.
01:36:30You OK?
01:36:31Thank you.
01:36:32Hey, Kev.
01:36:35It's pretty cool that you didn't burn the place down.
01:36:40Thanks, Buzz.
01:36:43Wait a minute.
01:36:44How did you guys get home?
01:36:45Oh, we took the morning flight, remember?
01:36:47The one you didn't want to wait for?
01:36:48Oh, no.
01:36:49Oh, thank you.
01:36:51Merry Christmas.
01:36:52Merry Christmas.
01:36:53OK.
01:36:54Someone has to find an open store.
01:36:55We don't even have milk here.
01:36:56I went shopping yesterday.
01:37:00You?
01:37:01Shopping?
01:37:02I got the milk, eggs, and fabric softener.
01:37:07No kidding.
01:37:09What a funny guy.
01:37:11What else did you do while we were away?
01:37:14Just hung around.
01:37:17You guys, put your stuff upstairs.
01:37:19Are you in shopping?
01:37:20He doesn't know how to tie his shoe.
01:37:22He's going shopping?
01:37:46Honey, what's this?
01:38:17Oh, my God.
01:38:18Oh, my God.
01:38:19Oh, my God.
01:38:20Oh, my God.
01:38:21Oh, my God.
01:38:22Oh, my God.
01:38:23Oh, my God.
01:38:24Oh, my God.
01:38:25Oh, my God.
01:38:26Oh, my God.
01:38:27Oh, my God.
01:38:28Oh, my God.
01:38:29Oh, my God.
01:38:30Oh, my God.
01:38:31Oh, my God.
01:38:32Oh, my God.
01:38:33Oh, my God.
01:38:34Oh, my God.
01:38:35Oh, my God.
01:38:36Oh, my God.
01:38:37Oh, my God.
01:38:38Oh, my God.
01:38:39Oh, my God.
01:38:40Oh, my God.
01:38:41Oh, my God.
01:38:42Oh, my God.
01:38:43Oh, my God.
01:38:44Oh, my God.
01:38:45Oh, my God.
01:38:46Oh, my God.
01:38:49Oh, my God.
01:38:52Kevin!
01:38:55What did you do to my room?
01:39:45♪♪
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01:41:15♪♪
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