Chopping Block | movie | 2005 | Official Trailer
Comedy about a family feud over a missing heirloom. A comedy about the tricky ingredients: ego, pride, insecurity, love | dG1fRGVUaEFaNWoyX28
Category
🎥
Short filmTranscript
00:00I'd like to tell you a story about my family.
00:02You're enjoying this, aren't you?
00:05I've been going to community college for about 11 years.
00:08An American family.
00:09My friends call me the Cabasa Man. That's all I have.
00:14He decided for me that this would be mine.
00:17He pushes it at me, and he says,
00:20piss on it or walk.
00:22His family is filled with love.
00:24He said I didn't want to hang around a bunch of dirty hippies,
00:26but I never called you a dirty hippie.
00:28Okay, listen, you guys are great. I enjoy it.
00:30I'm not into the love shit.
00:31Who was it, Lyle or Joe, that called you a whore?
00:35That was Lyle.
00:36However, sometimes that closeness can drive people to confrontation.
00:40You have to honor it! You have to be a man of honor!
00:44Get out!
00:45What the hell's the matter with him?
00:46I know you want to see if it's going to fit the decor of your kitchen,
00:49but who gives a shit?
00:50Raven, you got the cameras rolling?
00:52My brother's having a nervous breakdown.
00:54We're talking about a chopping block,
00:55and a disagreement about a chopping block?
00:57Gorgeous. Just gorgeous.
00:59It's a very beautiful thing.
01:00It's the most beautiful thing you've ever seen.
01:02Masterpiece, exactly.
01:04It's a chopping block.
01:05I said no more arguments about these chopping blocks.
01:07I want to collect them all, put them in storage,
01:10and nobody will have the chopping blocks.
01:12Well, what happened was someone broke in shortly after Aunt Ruth died,
01:16and stole the chopping block.
01:18That was the night before her funeral.
01:20And everyone's pointing fingers, and it's all chaotic.
01:23They didn't accuse us.
01:24They said that somebody broke in, and then they looked at all of us.
01:27Look me in the eye, and tell me you didn't steal it.
01:30You're going to ask your own brother that?
01:31Yeah.
01:31If you think I have this chopping block,
01:34then you come on in, you take a look for yourself.
01:36I have another child that's toddling around,
01:39I have a blossoming music career,
01:40and I'm going to go stealing a chopping block?
01:42I have no interest in the block.
01:45Our neighbor dropped a dime on him.
01:48Schwobble?
01:49Yeah, Schwobble.
01:50The grease mother.
01:51Hi, everybody!
01:52We never fight!
01:53Don't come out here!
01:54Once again, another wonderful day with your family.
01:57Jessica, get the camera on him.
02:00He still cannot be quiet.
02:01Did you hear your grandfather?
02:02Everything I do is wrong.
02:04That's what I can't believe with.
02:05Talking about the chopping block.
02:06Jessica, you can't let it go.
02:06You keep playing me every ten seconds.
02:08Everybody just shut up!
02:11My name is Raven Bishop.