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FunTranscript
00:00🎵
00:02🎵
00:04🎵
00:06🎵
00:08Ha ha!
00:10🎵
00:12Hey, little lady. You'd be a lot prettier
00:14if you smiled. What?
00:16Who are you? I'm a man.
00:18Do I know what I'm talking about?
00:20Smile and you'll be a lot more popular.
00:22And he told me I wouldn't be pretty
00:24unless I smiled. You are very pretty.
00:26And thanks to the puberty app on my phone,
00:28we can see what lies ahead.
00:32Wait.
00:34This can't be real. I already had braces.
00:36I'm afraid you have to get them again.
00:38The man we thought was your orthodontist
00:40was actually a rogue
00:42periodontist. Braces.
00:44Again. Why am I the only
00:46one in this family who needs braces?
00:48Don't look so smug, boy.
00:50Let's try this app on you.
00:52Hello, Aaron Eckhart.
00:54Whoa! Puberty.
00:56Puberty. Hey, look. We got this in the mail
00:58today. Oh, what is it?
01:02Hello, Simpsons. It's me,
01:04Artie Ziff, in pre-recorded
01:06form. Artie Ziff?
01:08Isn't that the rich guy who could have been our dad?
01:10Great news. I'm getting married, and you're
01:12invited. Why, you ask?
01:14Am I getting married?
01:16I found my soul mate.
01:18Bye. So what else is
01:20in the mail? We got a flyer
01:22from Lowe's. You're not really
01:24thinking of going, are you? That jerk kept trying
01:26to break us up. Now, I am
01:28sensing conflicted feelings.
01:30If you come, I promise you
01:32a wonderful time.
01:40I'm done
01:42with the top braces. We'll put the bottoms
01:44in next week. I can't close my
01:46mouth. The brackets are holding up your lips
01:48at the edges. They'll adjust. The main
01:50thing is, you're happy. I'm not
01:52happy.
02:08Feet.
02:10Homer Simpson, the man
02:12who beat me to Planet Marge.
02:14You've done all right for a billionaire.
02:16Hey, I'm not made of money.
02:18Although, actually, I am. After my parole,
02:20I got rich selling fireplace logs
02:22that look like cash. I.E.,
02:24money to burn. That is the
02:26greatest. It says money to burn.
02:28It looks like you're burning money. I know.
02:30Talk to someone else. Hey, pal,
02:32you're a news guy. Give it to me straight.
02:34Is this wedding on the level? Here's the scoop.
02:36It's legit. In other news,
02:38local newsman hopes to score with caterer.
02:40Now, Homer, as this is a
02:42bachelor party, I want to show you something.
02:44Now, shut your eyes. You've
02:46never seen a body this enticing.
02:48Exactly what I imagined.
02:52Food coma. He'll be fine.
02:54Hey, girlfriend.
02:56Who, me?
02:58Lisa, did you get your eyebrows waxed?
03:00You look amazing.
03:02What's going on? Her smile
03:04makes me feel full, like I
03:06actually ate dinner last night.
03:08And so, after saving
03:10Wilbur, Charlotte crawled off
03:12to die, as all barn
03:14spiders do. Bravo, Lisa.
03:16What a positive note on which
03:18to end the class. Positive?
03:20Positive? Charlotte
03:22died alone. Well, your smiling
03:24face made dying alone fun. And
03:26believe me, that's where I'm headed.
03:28So, as long as I'm smiling, it
03:30doesn't matter what comes out of my mouth?
03:32Can it really be that people are this shallow?
03:34Lisa! Lisa!
03:36Lisa! And am
03:38I shallow enough to enjoy this?
03:40I am!
03:42Hey, gorgeous. Hey, Bart.
03:44Lisa? Oh, yuck. I didn't know
03:46that was you. It's the smile. It's totally
03:48changed how people see me. Well,
03:50I just want you to know, you'll always be
03:52gross to me. Oh, thank God.
03:58Well,
04:00I guess being here sort of ends a chapter
04:02in my life. So, we'll call him.
04:04Excuse me,
04:06we need someone to walk the bride down
04:08the aisle. Could you? First tell me one
04:10thing. How long is the aisle? About
04:1220 feet. Alright, I'll do it.
04:14They grow up so fast.
04:16They'll always be my little
04:18girl.
04:20Friends! Family!
04:22I take great delight in informing you
04:24that the bride and groom have written their own vows.
04:30Oh, my God. This is too weird.
04:32I can't take this anymore. We're getting out of here.
04:34Yeah, this is really
04:36creepy. Even the rhino's leaving.
04:38And this is a picture
04:40of us at our wedding. You're so happy.
04:42I'm not happy. This smile is
04:44so wrong. I mean,
04:46how hard is this? The happy
04:48girl put that thing in the hole.
04:52Wait a minute. I could use my new
04:54power to change these things.
04:56Use it for good.
05:02I can make it happen.
05:10You posers. I was for Lisa
05:12before it was cool.
05:14The polls are in and you're doing great.
05:16You're picking up the key group. Girls who don't like
05:18Milhouse. Like every election with one week
05:20to go. This is in the bag.
05:22Don't be so sure. I'm up against a tough
05:24opponent. W. Spuckler.
05:26Don't worry. You just keep smiling.
05:28Well, I do have an orthodontist
05:30appointment tomorrow for a tune-up.
05:32In the bag, Madam President.
05:34But don't be so sure.
05:40Okay, kid. Your bottom braces are on.
05:42What happened
05:44to my smile? In six months, you'll
05:46have perfect teeth. Six months?
05:48I have to smile now.
05:50No, I can power through this.
05:52Let's see.
05:54I'll take this.
05:56Stop that. Oh, come on, Marge.
05:58This minibar is paid for. Homer,
06:00stop it. I can't help thinking about
06:02that poor woman. Artie only
06:04married her because she looks like me.
06:06I mean, a lot like me. You're right.
06:08Are you sure
06:10we should be here? Artie?
06:12As a woman, I just
06:14want to tell your wife what's really going
06:16on here. Say it to her face!
06:18I've spent years trying to build
06:20the perfect copy of the only woman for me.
06:22You, Marge.
06:24But they were all inferior in some way.
06:26Why would you marry a machine?
06:28I didn't.
06:30It was one last trick. I thought
06:32when you saw how perfect we looked together, you would
06:34realize that we were meant to be.
06:36Artie? Yes?
06:38You're not dumb. You're smart. And I think
06:40this crazy project actually had some
06:42brilliance in it. Imagine if you
06:44used that noodle for good.
06:46I will become a better human being.
06:48Terrific! And then
06:50you'll love me? No!
06:54Um, let's quiet down, please.
06:56And now we have a very special
06:58moderator, Governor Mary
07:00Bailey. Our first candidate is
07:02Dubya Spuckler. Dubya!
07:04Our other candidate is ill, so she'll be
07:06Skyping in. Lisa Simpson.
07:08Lisa, I'm sorry. What do you have?
07:10What I have is an agenda
07:12for this school. I can deliver results
07:14while my opponents can't even
07:16spell results. Lisa doesn't
07:18sound sick at all!
07:20You said you'd done this before.
07:22Lisa's using a
07:24funny face app.
07:28Listen, I tried to fool you and that was wrong.
07:30I still have good ideas.
07:32All I hear is nag nag nag.
07:34Dubya! Dubya!
07:36Dubya! I didn't want to
07:38believe my popularity was based on my
07:40stupid smile. Ugh.
07:42But it was. You're just a kid
07:44and things are changing. Told you you should
07:46smile more! The future
07:48is now! Woohoo!
08:02Woohoo!