Mind Your Language | Funny Video | Classic Comedy | Family Entertainment |
Mind Your Language | Funny Video | Classic Comedy | Family Entertainment |
"Mind Your Language" is a classic comedy series that continues to bring laughter to audiences of all ages. This funny video showcases the humorous misadventures of language students and their eccentric teacher, making it a perfect choice for family entertainment. With its witty dialogue and timeless humor, "Mind Your Language" remains a favorite among fans of classic comedy. Whether you're revisiting this iconic show or discovering it for the first time, this video is sure to provide plenty of laughs for the whole family.
#MindYourLanguage #ClassicComedy #FunnyVideo #FamilyEntertainment #BritishComedy #70sSitcom #TimelessHumor #ComedyLovers #FamilyFun #SitcomClassics
"Mind Your Language" is a classic comedy series that continues to bring laughter to audiences of all ages. This funny video showcases the humorous misadventures of language students and their eccentric teacher, making it a perfect choice for family entertainment. With its witty dialogue and timeless humor, "Mind Your Language" remains a favorite among fans of classic comedy. Whether you're revisiting this iconic show or discovering it for the first time, this video is sure to provide plenty of laughs for the whole family.
#MindYourLanguage #ClassicComedy #FunnyVideo #FamilyEntertainment #BritishComedy #70sSitcom #TimelessHumor #ComedyLovers #FamilyFun #SitcomClassics
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FunTranscript
00:00Enter.
00:10Squeeze me please, lady.
00:11Yes, what is it?
00:15I'm coming here for to be learning the English.
00:17You're Alice.
00:18Oh no, I'm Ali.
00:21I beg your pardon.
00:22My name is Ali, Ali Nadeem.
00:25I'm coming here for to be learning the English.
00:27Ah, yes, yes, you wish to join our new class, English as a foreign language.
00:31Yes, please.
00:32And I'm hopping to be unrolled.
00:35Hopping to be unrolled.
00:38Like it say in your silly bus.
00:41You mean hoping to be enrolled.
00:44That is what I said.
00:46Hopping to be unrolled.
00:48Yes, well I'm afraid you cannot be unrolled, enrolled until the English teacher arrives.
00:54Now she should be here in a few minutes.
00:56In the meanwhile, perhaps you would care to wait in the classroom.
00:59Go down the corridor, turn left at the bottom and wait in room five.
01:03Understand?
01:04No.
01:07Well, let's start again.
01:09You go down the corridor.
01:11Down corridor.
01:12Good.
01:13Turn left.
01:14Turn left.
01:15Right.
01:16Right.
01:17But you are confusing me.
01:20Left or right?
01:21It's left.
01:22Left.
01:23Look, you just go down the corridor, turn left and wait in room five.
01:28Room five.
01:30Ah, now I'm understanding you.
01:32Room five.
01:33Yes.
01:34Jolly good, thank you.
01:39Oh, how dare you.
01:40I'm not going where I'm looking.
01:42No, I wasn't looking where I was going.
01:45That makes the two of us.
01:46Excuse me, sorry.
01:50Enter.
01:53Mrs. Courtney.
01:54Miss.
01:55Oh, sorry.
01:56I'm your new teacher, Jeremy Brown, B.A., Oxon.
01:59You're a man.
02:00Yes.
02:01Well, this is most unsatisfactory.
02:02This won't do at all.
02:04I assure you my credentials are impeccable.
02:06Academically, perhaps.
02:08I'm talking about sex.
02:10I also assure you my morals are perfectly respectable too.
02:13I'm referring to the fact that you are a man.
02:16I distinctly requested the local authority to send me a woman teacher,
02:20especially in view of what happened with Mr. Warburton.
02:23Mr. Warburton?
02:24Yes.
02:25He was teaching English to foreign students last term.
02:28I'm afraid he only lasted a month.
02:30Then he departed.
02:32Dead?
02:33Demented.
02:36Yes, the strain was too much for him.
02:38Typical of the male sex.
02:40No stamina.
02:42Oh, he seemed to be able to cope at first, and then one day he just snapped.
02:45It was really quite disgusting.
02:47Really?
02:48What did he do?
02:49Climbed out of the classroom window onto the roof,
02:51took off all his clothes and stood there stark naked,
02:53singing I've got a lovely bunch of coconuts.
02:57Very distressing.
02:59Well, there's no need to worry on my account.
03:01I mean, I'm not likely to climb out of the classroom window.
03:03I know you aren't.
03:04Oh, thank you for your confidence.
03:05It has nothing to do with confidence.
03:08We've had the window frames nailed down.
03:12How very thoughtful.
03:13Well, I really would appreciate the job, Mrs. Courtney.
03:15Miss.
03:16Miss.
03:17I rather do need a job.
03:18What with the economic situation and inflation.
03:20All right, there's no need to whimper.
03:22You can start immediately.
03:24On a month's trial.
03:26If you last that long.
03:28I'll do my best.
03:29Now, where will I find my students?
03:31Class five, down the corridor internally.
03:33Right.
03:34I'm looking forward to meeting them.
03:35I'm sure we're all going to get along extremely well.
03:40I'm from Lahore.
03:41Oh, you're from Lahore.
03:42No, no, no.
03:43I'm from Shimla.
03:44Good evening.
03:45How long have you been here?
03:46Good evening.
03:47I've been here four or five years.
03:48Quiet, please.
03:49I've never been here.
03:50That's why I'm here.
03:51Silence!
03:58Well, I'm pleased to meet you all.
04:00We are also pleased to be meeting you.
04:05I am brown.
04:07Oh, no.
04:10You are committing a mistake.
04:13A mistake?
04:14Yes, please.
04:15You are not brown.
04:17We are brown.
04:18You are white.
04:20My name is brown.
04:22I am your teacher.
04:23Ah, you professori.
04:25Yes.
04:29Quiet, please.
04:31Silence!
04:36Right, would you all like to sit down?
04:38Sit down.
04:40I also have to sit down.
04:46Right, I'll just take a note of all your names, nationalities and occupations.
04:51All right?
04:56Por favor, senor.
04:58Yes?
04:59Es la primera vez que vengo.
05:01¿Es esta la clase para aprender inglés?
05:05Well, I haven't the faintest idea what you're saying,
05:07but I'm sure you're not trying to find the needlework, Clark.
05:11Por favor.
05:12It doesn't matter.
05:13Have a seat.
05:14Por favor.
05:16Sit down.
05:17Ah, sí.
05:23No, not there.
05:25Por favor.
05:26There.
05:30Right, I'll just go around the class and take your names.
05:33Yes?
05:34Ah, yes.
05:35What is your name?
05:36Maximilian Andrea Archimedes Papandreou.
05:42I think I'll just put you down as Max.
05:45Take it you're Greek?
05:46He is right.
05:47From Athens.
05:48Good.
05:49And what is your job?
05:50I walk with sheeps.
05:54You walk with sheeps?
05:57You're a shepherd.
05:58You work on a farm?
05:59No, no, not farm.
06:00But you just said you work with sheep.
06:02No, no, no, no.
06:03Sheeps.
06:04Big sheeps.
06:10Sheeps.
06:11Yes, sheeps.
06:12Tonkers.
06:16Tonkers?
06:17Tonkers.
06:18Right.
06:19I walk in office.
06:20Good.
06:22And your name?
06:23Anna Schmidt, German au pair.
06:27Usual German efficiency?
06:28Germans are always efficient.
06:30Not her.
06:31Pass on.
06:35Japanese, much more efficient.
06:38Nein, Germans are the best.
06:40Japanese make a much better television.
06:44Ando, Camelot.
06:47No, no, please, let us have no racialism.
06:50In this class, all are equal.
06:53Your name?
06:55Giovanni Coupello, Italian.
06:59And where do you work?
07:00I work in Ristorante dei Popoli.
07:03A waiter?
07:04No, not a waiter.
07:05A cucuta.
07:09Cucuta?
07:10Si, a cucuta ravioli, a cucuta spaghetti, a cucuta lasagna, a cucuta everything.
07:19A chef.
07:20Okay.
07:24And your name?
07:25Andy.
07:27What is your name?
07:28What did you say?
07:30Me, Jeremy Brown.
07:32You?
07:34Pathan.
07:35What are you saying?
07:38Max, Anna Schmidt, Giovanni Coupello.
07:44You?
07:47Oh, you are asking for names.
07:50Okay, I will write it.
07:52I will write it.
07:53Wait a minute.
07:54Don't worry.
07:55I know how to read and write.
07:56I will write it.
07:59Andy?
08:02Yes, yes, write your name down.
08:04Good, good.
08:22It's no good.
08:23I need your name in English.
08:25No Urdu?
08:26No Urdu.
08:28Then why did I come here?
08:29If I knew English, I would have come to learn English.
08:33What do you want?
08:34I don't know where to get it from.
08:35I don't know what you want.
08:37It must be written correctly.
08:39I don't know.
08:41Is this the paper you want?
08:43Certificate of registration.
08:45Jamila Ranjha, housewife.
08:49Good.
08:52And your name?
08:55I am Ali Nadeem.
08:56From Lahore.
08:58I am working at the moment.
09:00Not anywhere at all.
09:07You are unemployed?
09:08Yes, please.
09:10Only one day a week I am working.
09:13What do you do then?
09:14I am going to the unemployment exchange.
09:17For to be collecting my money.
09:20Oh, blimey!
09:22I get more money for not being working
09:24than when I am working.
09:26Yes, but before you discovered this secret of eternal wealth,
09:29what did you do?
09:31Blimey!
09:32I worked.
09:33At the Taj Mahal.
09:35In Delhi?
09:36Oh, no.
09:37Pardon me.
09:38Taj Mahal Kampiri Restaurants.
09:40Jolly Good Chapati and Pappadams.
09:44A thousand apologies for my lateness.
09:46The omnibus was going backwards.
09:50Are you sure?
09:51There must be a more logical explanation.
09:52It is the absolute truth.
09:54I was told to be taking a number 27 omnibus.
09:59And I complied.
10:00But it went in a backward direction.
10:03No, I think you meant it was going the other way.
10:05That is the gist of what I am saying.
10:07A thousand apologies.
10:09Sorry.
10:10Perhaps you would like to sit next to Ali, your countryman.
10:12I cannot sit there.
10:13It is impossible.
10:14Why is it impossible?
10:15I am sick.
10:16Oh, dear.
10:20Well, it is not contagious.
10:21Perhaps you ought to come back when you are better.
10:23I do not comprehend the gist of your conversation.
10:26You said you were sick.
10:27No, no, no, no, no.
10:29I am not referring to my physical state of mind.
10:33How do you feel about Roman Catholics?
10:35Oh, I treat them like my brothers.
10:37Good.
10:38Well, you can go and sit next to Giovanni.
10:39Stop it.
10:40Infidel.
10:41Gentlemen, please.
10:42We are here to learn English, not start a holy war.
10:45And what is your name?
10:47Ranjit Singh.
10:49And you are from which country?
10:51Punjab.
10:52And what is your job?
10:54I am a very important member of the British underground.
10:58Underground what?
11:01Just the underground.
11:03Mind the door!
11:06That underground.
11:09And your name?
11:11Harold Nagasumi.
11:18My name, Cardiff.
11:20Japanese.
11:22Representative of push it up electronics.
11:27Very good, very good.
11:29And finally, your name.
11:31Por favor.
11:32Your name.
11:33What is your name?
11:34Por favor.
11:35Nome.
11:36Ah, nombre, si.
11:39Juan Cervantes para servirle, senor.
11:42No need to ask what nationality you are.
11:44Por favor.
11:46Spanish.
11:47Por favor.
11:49What is your job?
11:51Por favor.
11:54Trabajo.
11:55Ah, trabajo, si.
11:57Trilaga.
11:59Trilaga?
12:00What, you lag trees?
12:02Washington.
12:03Two whiskey coca.
12:05Trilaga.
12:08Trilaga?
12:09Si.
12:10Ah, you work in a bar?
12:11Si, si, bar, bar.
12:12Well, Mr. Bryan?
12:13Yes, thank you.
12:14Apart from one attempted murder and a possible race riot, I seem to be coping reasonably well.
12:18Well, what I really came to inform you about was the registration fees for the students.
12:22Ah.
12:23Now, it's five pounds per head, and I should be grateful if you would collect the money and bring it to my office in your tea break.
12:27Right, I'll do that.
12:29Well, we have one thing to be grateful for anyway.
12:32Sex won't be rearing its ugly little head.
12:34I beg your pardon?
12:36Well, in my experience, it isn't race or religion that causes the problems.
12:39It's usually the presence of some foreign beauty.
12:42Jealousies, intrigues, all that sort of thing.
12:45Yes, well, looking at my class, I don't think we'll be too bothered with anything like that.
13:00I come to learn English. Have I come to the right place?
13:21Enter.
13:23Mrs. Courtney.
13:24Miss.
13:25Miss.
13:26I've just brought the registration fees for the students.
13:28Ah, good. Now, how many students have you?
13:30Nine.
13:31So, there should be 45 pounds in there?
13:33Well, that all depends upon the rate of exchange.
13:35I don't quite follow.
13:38Not all of them had five pounds in English money, so I collected 29 pounds 50 in sterling,
13:42and the rest is made up of 2,000 yen, 3,000 lira,
13:46250 pesetas, 75 drachma, 50 francs and 12 deutschmarks.
13:50According to this morning's financial papers, that should give us a profit of 1 pound 42 and a half p.
13:55Then I suggest you take it to the bank in the morning and convert it to English currency.
13:59Right, I'll do that.
14:01Oh, by the way, how's the femme fatale?
14:03Ah, yes, Danielle.
14:05Well, at the moment, she's in the tea room with Italy, Spain and Greece
14:07trying to establish diplomatic relations.
14:10Well, I hope she's not going to cause any bother.
14:12Oh, no, I'm sure she won't.
14:13Look, I'm not going to sit here.
14:15No, it's me who's going to be sitting here.
14:18And before you, we'll sit over there.
14:20And before you, we'll sit over there.
14:22You take it to me.
14:24Who, me?
14:25You go back, sit where you were before.
14:26No, I sit here.
14:27You not sit here.
14:28Ha! Who's going to be stopping me?
14:30Me.
14:32Ha! Yourself.
14:34You think you're tough?
14:36Come out aside.
14:39Me.
14:41Where are you going?
14:42We go outside to have a punchdown.
14:44You mean a punchdown?
14:46I'm going to, how you say, lock his bloody block off.
14:50We see whose bloody blocker he's unoffered off.
14:54Ah, just a minute. What is all this about?
14:56I tell you, Mr White.
14:57Brown.
14:58Oh, excuse me.
15:00It's about where we sit.
15:01What's wrong with where you were sitting before?
15:04It's my eyes, professore.
15:06I've got to sit nearer the front.
15:09Here.
15:11Oh, I see.
15:12And I suppose it's got nothing to do with the fact that Danielle is sitting here too?
15:15She is.
15:20I never noticed.
15:23You see, it's my eyes. I'm a little short-sighted.
15:26And also, I'm much a bigger liar.
15:28It's not true, Mr Green.
15:30The name is Brown.
15:32You see, I'm a colour-blind.
15:33That's not it.
15:34That's not it.
15:38And, Max, I suppose you've got trouble with your eyes as well, have you?
15:40Oh, no, no, no. My eyes are okay.
15:42It's my ears.
15:44I'm not hearing very well.
15:46That's a likely story.
15:48What you say?
15:50I say you both go back and sit where you were sitting before. Now!
16:00I hope you don't think I was, how you say,
16:03too forward?
16:05No, no. I'm sure you weren't in any way to blame at all.
16:11Teacher, please.
16:15Mr Brown?
16:16Yes?
16:18Please forgive my redness. I apologise, but I lost my way.
16:22Not to worry. What is your name?
16:24Chung Su Lee.
16:26Su Lee. And where are you from?
16:28Democratic Republic of China.
16:31And what is your job?
16:33Secretary.
16:35Chinese diplomat.
16:37Very nice.
16:39Right. Where shall we put you?
16:41Taro, how are relations between Japan and China?
16:49Depends on a political viewpoint.
16:54Japan,
16:57right wing.
16:59China,
17:01left wing.
17:03I see.
17:05Are you right wingo or left wingo?
17:08I follow teaching of Chairman Mao.
17:10Ah, well in that case you better sit next to Jamila, the Indian lady.
17:15Right, now we will start by learning a few basic English verbs.
17:19And firstly, we will take the verb to be.
17:26I am English.
17:29You are Chinese.
17:30You are Chinese.
17:32He is Italian.
17:34She is French.
17:36He is Bavarian.
17:40You are asking for a kick up your big brown backside.
17:44Pay attention, please.
17:46I am.
17:49You are.
17:51He, she or it is.
17:58We are.
18:00You are.
18:02They are.
18:06I shall now go round the class and ask you each to give me a sentence using the verb to be.
18:14Taro, I am.
18:17Ah, sorry.
18:18I am.
18:23I am very happy to be learning English.
18:32Very good.
18:34Good.
18:36Giovanni, he is.
18:38He is a fool.
18:41Good, but not is it a. He is a fool.
18:45Yes, he is a fool.
18:48Max, she is.
18:54She is beautiful.
18:58She is wonderful.
19:01She is.
19:03Yes, yes, thank you, Max.
19:06Juan, it is.
19:08Por favor.
19:12It is.
19:14Por favor.
19:15Por favor.
19:17It is raining.
19:20Lloviendo. It is raining.
19:22No, no, it is raining.
19:24No, no, it is raining.
19:26No, it is raining.
19:28It is raining.
19:30It is raining.
19:32We'll skip you for the moment.
19:34Por favor.
19:36It doesn't matter. Sit down.
19:39Julie, it is.
19:42It is duty of every citizen to overthrow imperial government.
19:48So say Chairman Mao.
19:50Yes, well, that's his opinion.
19:52Good.
19:54Danielle, we are.
19:57We are lucky to have such great...
20:06Quiet, please.
20:08Very true. I mean...
20:12Ali, you are.
20:19You are...
20:22You are waiting for me to speak an answer.
20:26Well done.
20:28Unfortunately, I am not understanding the question.
20:34I want you to give me a sentence using you are.
20:38I am.
20:39No, not I am. You are.
20:42For example, you are from Pakistan.
20:44I am from Pakistan.
20:46Good. Yes, but now use you are.
20:49But I cannot say you are from Pakistan because you are not, are you?
20:53Repeat after me. You are English.
20:57No, no. I am from Pakistan.
20:59What am I?
21:01You are confusing me.
21:03You are stupid poof.
21:06Don't you call me a poof?
21:08Poof.
21:13Sit down.
21:17Sit down, please.
21:22There is really not much more we can do.
21:25Can you all get the textbooks I was telling you about?
21:29What I would like you to do is some homework.
21:31I want you to write me an essay.
21:33A short story about your life here in England.
21:35Things you do, the things you like to do.
21:38And I will see you all on Wednesday.
21:44Ah, Mrs. Thornton.
21:46Miss. Miss.
21:48Well, I have just dismissed the class for the night.
21:50I think we have just about covered all there is to for the first session.
21:53You look a trifle under the weather.
21:55Job getting you down already.
21:57No, no. I am fine. Never felt better.
21:59There is just one thing, though.
22:01Yes?
22:03That window you nailed down, the one Mr. Warburton climbed out of.
22:05I think we ought to put a few more nails in just to be on the safe side.
22:16Excuse me, young man.
22:18Are you in Mr. Brown's class?
22:21Mr. Brown's class.
22:23Brown.
22:25Mr. Brown.
22:31Yes, but are you in Mr. Brown's class?
22:34English is a foreign language.
22:36Por favor.
22:38Are you really as stupid as you look?
22:42Ah, excuse me.
22:44You are in Mr. Brown's class, aren't you?
22:46Are you or aren't you?
22:51Doesn't Mr. Brown teach you anything?
22:53Por favor.
22:55You.
22:57Yes, please, Missy.
22:59And I'll be assisting you in any way whatsoever.
23:01Master breakthrough.
23:03Are you in Mr. Brown's class?
23:05No.
23:07I am in corridor.
23:09Do you think you could give him a message?
23:11Most certainly.
23:13I am Miss Courtney.
23:15And I am Ranjit Singh.
23:17Just at this particular moment,
23:19I'm not really bothered who you are.
23:21I just want you to give Mr. Brown a message.
23:23I'll be very happy to comply with your request.
23:25Would you tell him I would like a word with him?
23:27Most certainly.
23:29Which word would you like?
23:30Just say I want to speak to him.
23:34Foreigners.
23:36Quiet, please.
23:38Settle down.
23:45Right.
23:47Good evening.
23:49So we appear to be some missing.
23:51I hope they haven't dropped out.
23:53Oh, please.
23:55It will not be surprising me.
23:57I am always thinking
23:58that Sikh son of a guru
24:00was a Punjabi dropout.
24:03I'm hearing what you are saying.
24:05You miserable...
24:07Don't you two start again.
24:09Actually, you're late.
24:11A thousand apologies
24:13for this unforgivable tardiness.
24:15But you are all
24:17unavoidably detained in the corridor
24:19by a lady.
24:21Do I take it, Vaman,
24:23that you understood what Ranjit was saying?
24:25Oh, sorry.
24:27Who was this lady
24:29who detained you in the corridor?
24:31Oh, blimey.
24:33I am forgetting her name.
24:35She was a big lady.
24:37Very large bosoms.
24:40Magnificent.
24:42Very good.
24:44While you're trying to remember her name,
24:46perhaps you'd better sit down.
24:49Now, I hope you've all done your homework.
24:51Sit down.
24:53Excuse me, please.
24:54I am remembering the name.
24:56Missy Courtney.
24:58Miss Courtney.
25:00Yes, absolutely.
25:02The lady with the large bosoms.
25:04She's waiting to see you.
25:06Yes, well, she'll just have to wait.
25:08Excuse me, please.
25:10She's already waiting.
25:12She may be the principal,
25:14but I have a class to teach now.
25:16As I was saying...
25:18Miss Large...
25:20Miss Courtney.
25:22I was just on my way to see you, actually.
25:24Well, I shall be a moment, class.
25:26Oh, it's all right. Don't bother.
25:28I merely wanted to tell you
25:30that you can expect another student.
25:32Oh, jolly good. More the merrier.
25:34You're not here to make merry, Mr. Brown.
25:36No, no, it was just a figure of speech.
25:38Well, you'd better try teaching a few figures of speech
25:40to your students.
25:42They seem to be in need of it.
25:44I'm doing my best.
25:46Oh, Miss Courtney.
25:48Yes?
25:50This new student, what nationality can I expect?
25:52African.
25:54Well, I shall tell you a short story
25:56about your life here in England.
25:58I hope you've all done so, have you?
26:00Good, good.
26:02Well, I shall go round the class
26:04and ask each of you to read out what you've written.
26:06Anna, shall we start with you?
26:08My Life in England, by Anna Schmidt.
26:10Good. Very good.
26:13Yeah, but go on.
26:15There is no more.
26:17That's all there is?
26:19Yeah. I have no time to write more.
26:21All this that Mrs. Walker is keeping me busy.
26:22Yes, Anna, do that.
26:24She is a slave driver, that Mrs. Walker.
26:26Walker.
26:28What?
26:30W is pronounced wuh.
26:32Your employer's name is Walker.
26:34Yeah, Walker.
26:36Do you know how many shirts
26:38Mrs. Walker made me iron last night?
26:40Walker.
26:42Yeah, Walker.
26:44Then I had to prepare a meal for the bitch.
26:48Anna, she may be a hard task, Mistress,
26:50but I don't think you ought to call her that.
26:52Call her Miss Walker.
26:54I was meaning the dog bitch.
26:56Oh, I see.
26:58That is why I'm having no time for the homework.
27:01Yes, well, not to worry.
27:03You really must concentrate on those w sounds.
27:05Wuh.
27:07Wuh.
27:09Danielle, would you like to read us your essay?
27:11Oui.
27:15What I like about England,
27:17by Mademoiselle Danielle Favre,
27:19telephone 246.
27:24Good, carry on.
27:26Excuse me.
27:28Yes, Giovanni.
27:30Was that 8021 or 8013?
27:328021.
27:34Never mind what number it was.
27:36You're here to improve your English,
27:38not shut up other students.
27:40You are absolutely right, professore.
27:42It's just I'd like to improve my French as well.
27:44Well, you can do that in your own time.
27:46Carry on, Danielle.
27:48I like England because the grass is so green
27:50and the people are so nice.
27:52People?
27:54Yes.
27:56Especially the men.
27:58Quiet, quiet.
28:01English men are so charming,
28:03so handsome,
28:05and so sexy.
28:08Silence, please.
28:11Yeah, I think that'll do, Danielle.
28:13But I've written much more.
28:15Mm.
28:16All about the things I like to do at night.
28:19Mm.
28:21Yes, well, I don't think we'd better go into those.
28:23I'll be reading all your essays later.
28:25Jamila, I don't suppose you've written anything, have you?
28:28Yes, tell me.
28:31Written anything?
28:33No.
28:35No.
28:37Look, you really must start to speak a little, Jamila.
28:39Speak.
28:41Oh, okay.
28:43Call me as much as you want.
28:44I've gone to speak.
28:46No, no, no.
28:48In English, you must try to speak English.
28:50Look, try saying good evening.
28:52Huh?
28:54All right, let's start with the good.
28:56Good.
28:58Good.
29:00It's not difficult, Jamila.
29:02Come on.
29:04Good.
29:06Look, you nearly said it then.
29:08Come on, good.
29:10Please, no prompting.
29:15Good.
29:17Excellent, well done.
29:19Now try evening.
29:21Evening.
29:23It's not difficult, Jamila.
29:25Come on.
29:27Evening.
29:29Yes, yes, come on.
29:31Good.
29:33I know you can say good.
29:35Say evening.
29:37Evening.
29:39Evening.
29:41Evening.
29:42Evening.
29:44Yes, good, good.
29:46Now put them both together.
29:48Good evening.
29:50Good evening.
29:52Good evening.
29:54Good evening.
29:56Good evening.
29:58Good evening.
30:00Good evening.
30:02Good evening.
30:04Good, good, well done.
30:06We'll try some new words later.
30:08Suli, have you written anything?
30:10Yes, yes.
30:13Good.
30:15What I like about England.
30:19England is becoming more politically minded
30:22and gradually more democratic.
30:25The overflow of decadent capitalistic government
30:28will continue to increase
30:30as working classes become more educated
30:33and embrace communism as the true way of life.
30:37Workers' revolution getting nearer
30:39with inevitable collapse
30:41of imperialistic bourgeois intellectual society.
30:44Yes, well, if that's what you like about England,
30:47I wouldn't want to read what you didn't like.
30:49Excuse.
30:51Yes, Tarot.
30:55Ah.
31:00I have
31:02smaller observation
31:04on young ladies' discourse
31:07that will also
31:09illustrate
31:11increased knowledge of English.
31:15Certainly, Tarot. Go ahead.
31:17With respect,
31:19young lady speaker,
31:22road of couplers.
31:26Attitude typical of fascist Nipponese.
31:29Japan, civilized country, not like China,
31:33run by peasants.
31:34By peasants.
31:36Chinese, not peasants.
31:38Japanese, not fascists.
31:42Oh, Su Li.
31:44Su Li, come here.
31:46Tarot, please go and apologize.
31:48Apologize?
31:49Yes.
31:50I lose face.
31:51Not my photo.
31:52Well, never mind.
31:53Never mind his photo.
31:54Let's go and apologize.
31:58Please.
31:59Oh, my, my.
32:00Wait.
32:01Wait.
32:02Wait.
32:03Oh.
32:18Mrs. Courtney.
32:19Miss.
32:20Sir, sorry.
32:21I'm Roger Kenyon from the Education Authority.
32:23Oh.
32:25They told me they were sending an inspector round,
32:27but I really didn't expect...
32:28He would be black.
32:30He would be so young.
32:31My apologies.
32:32But the authority likes to check
32:33that the standards of the evening classes
32:35are up to par.
32:36I can assure you that my standards here
32:38are well over par.
32:39I'm glad to hear it.
32:41Well, Mr. Kenyon, if you'd like to come with me,
32:42I'll show you around.
32:43No, no, no, please.
32:45I'd rather just wander around on my own,
32:46if you don't mind.
32:48I usually get a much clearer picture that way.
32:53Sir.
32:55Waiter.
32:57Waiter.
33:02Everything all right?
33:04Everything's all kale.
33:05Good.
33:06We have agreed to differ.
33:07Ah, right.
33:08Excuse me, please.
33:09Ah, our new African.
33:11Pardon?
33:12Yeah, I've been expecting you.
33:13Me?
33:14Yes, I was told I'd have a new pupil.
33:15Look, it's nearly time for our tea break,
33:16so why don't you just go to the back for a minute,
33:18and I'll take your particulars later.
33:20But please, you...
33:21Now, be a good chap and don't argue.
33:22Just go and sit there, all right?
33:23Yes, but...
33:24Sit.
33:31Sit.
33:32Yes, please.
33:39Okay.
33:41Me?
33:43Sit.
33:54Thank you, my love.
33:55There we are.
33:5610p, dear.
33:57Thank you, love.
33:58That's it.
33:59Next.
34:00Oh, there you are.
34:01You sit here.
34:02Merci.
34:03I get the coffee.
34:04Merci.
34:05Coffee black?
34:07Please.
34:08Coffee black.
34:09Hey, I'll get the coffee for Daniel.
34:10Too bad.
34:11Sugar?
34:12Merci.
34:23Sugar?
34:24Merci.
34:25How about a biscuit?
34:26Do you like the biscuit?
34:27I would like that.
34:29Good.
34:31I'll be back.
34:34I'll pack you the biscuits, please.
34:35Pronto.
34:36Look, wait your time, love.
34:37There's a crew here.
34:39Go on.
34:42Next.
34:43Oh, shut up.
34:44Good evening.
34:48Yeah, good evening.
34:49Tea or coffee, love?
34:52Good evening.
34:54I heard you the first time.
34:56Tea or coffee?
34:59Oh, tea.
35:01Tea.
35:04Ten p.
35:06Good evening.
35:08Ten p.
35:10Oi.
35:11I'll pay for that and a coffee for me, please.
35:13And a coffee for you.
35:16Are you Mr. Brown?
35:17Yes.
35:18Oh, I've got a message for you.
35:20From a ladyship.
35:21Oh, a lady who?
35:23Miss Courtney.
35:25She's been in here and she wants to see you.
35:28Yeah, I know what she does want.
35:29Yes, Mr. Brown?
35:32You want to see me?
35:33In my office, immediately.
35:37Careful, that's coffee.
35:38You'll spill it.
35:39Por favor.
35:40That's coffee.
35:41Gracias.
35:42Bueno.
35:45Cheers.
35:47Same again, please.
35:48Oh, nothing, Mr. Brown.
35:50Thank you, love.
35:52A packet of biscuits, please.
35:54Oh, I'm sorry.
35:55We haven't any left.
35:58Ah, good, good.
35:59You've come to have a cup of coffee?
36:02Coffee?
36:04Yes, coffee.
36:05This stuff.
36:13Enter.
36:14Enter.
36:17It has taken you 2 minutes 38 seconds exactly to come to my office immediately.
36:22I'm glad I didn't ask you to take your time.
36:24Well, I'm sorry.
36:25I was detained.
36:27Well, I thought I'd better tell you that an inspector has arrived.
36:30Oh, my conscience is clear.
36:31I beg your pardon?
36:32Well, apart from the odd parking ticket, I've never had any trouble with the police.
36:36An education inspector.
36:38Ah, I see.
36:39I'm sorry.
36:40How stupid of me.
36:41Yes.
36:43Well, you'll probably want to call in on your class.
36:45Oh, well, don't worry.
36:46I'll deal with him.
36:47You don't deal with inspectors from the local authority, Mr. Brown.
36:50You cosset them and flatter them and agree with everything they say.
36:53Yeah, well, I'll do that as well.
36:55I expect you'll want to see your register.
36:57My register?
36:59You do have a register.
37:01Oh, that register.
37:02Yes, of course.
37:03Well, you'd better call it as soon as you get back to your class.
37:05Right.
37:06By the way, while you're here, the local authority want me to fill in a few details about you on this form.
37:11Now, I've got your name.
37:12Yes.
37:13Address.
37:14Yes.
37:15Sex.
37:16Occasionally.
37:20Marriage.
37:21Sorry.
37:22Er, no.
37:23I was engaged once.
37:24Matter of fact, I proposed marriage, but it didn't really work out.
37:27There was quite a lot of opposition.
37:28Her father?
37:29No, her husband.
37:30I didn't realise she was married at the time.
37:32What do you do during the day?
37:34Oh, nothing at the moment, I'm afraid.
37:35I'm waiting for a suitable position.
37:37And what was your last position?
37:38Well, I was teaching at a secondary modern school, but I left.
37:40I couldn't stand any more beatings.
37:42Well, I didn't think teachers beat children anymore.
37:44Oh, they don't. It was the other way around.
37:47I think you'd better take this form and fill it up yourself and bring it back to me later.
37:50Right.
37:51And do be careful what you say to the inspector.
37:53Oh, of course.
37:54Oh, by the way, the new student has arrived.
37:56You won't forget to add the name to the register, will you?
37:59What do you do after class?
38:09I go and learn the English.
38:11Hey, I'm going to learn the English as well.
38:13Maybe we'll learn together, huh?
38:15Yes, but what about poor Max?
38:17Yeah, what about poor Max?
38:19I'm crying my eyes out.
38:23I have an idea.
38:25I have lots of ideas.
38:27Why not you and Max study together, huh?
38:35Right, class, settle down, please. Quiet.
38:38Now, the first thing we have to do before we do anything else is to call the register, right?
38:42So sorry.
38:43Ah, that's quite all right.
38:44I expect you'll have a bit of difficulty finding your way around at first.
38:47Things will seem rather strange.
38:48Yes, very strange.
38:50Yes.
38:51Must be quite a change coming from one of the underdeveloped countries to our more advanced way of life.
38:56Oh, yes.
38:57Still, your people are doing remarkably well.
38:59Did you fly here?
39:00Fly?
39:02How do you mean, Buona?
39:06Oh, fly in a big iron bird.
39:10Quite a change from riding an elephant.
39:13Unless you came by jumbo.
39:18English joke.
39:21Very funny.
39:22Well, perhaps you'd better sit down.
39:25Right, I'm going to call out your names, and will you please answer present?
39:28Present.
39:31Yes, Sally, but wait until I've called your name out.
39:33Sorry, please.
39:34Ranjit Singh?
39:36Present and correct, please.
39:39Giovanni Cuppello?
39:40Si, professore.
39:41No, Giovanni, not professore.
39:43Not professore?
39:44No, you should address me as sir.
39:46Sir?
39:47Yes.
39:49Now I understand.
39:54You have been to get knotted.
40:05Come again?
40:07Well, to become a sir.
40:08You got knotted by the queen.
40:11No, the word is knighted, and I'm not that kind of sir.
40:15Maximilian Papandreous?
40:17Maximilian Papandreous?
40:19Mr. Brown is speaking to you.
40:21Is he?
40:25Sorry.
40:27You want something?
40:28Yeah.
40:29Are you here or not?
40:35Well, sure I'm here.
40:37Taro Nagasumi?
40:39Arsehole.
40:44Present.
40:46Anna Schmidt?
40:47Ja, present.
40:48Suli Chung?
40:50Pleasant.
40:51Ali Nadim?
40:53Gift.
40:57Gift.
40:58I'm surprising you, no?
41:01Each day I'm learning a new English word.
41:05And I'm finding that gift is another word for pleasant.
41:15Very ingenious.
41:16Thank you very much.
41:17Danielle Favreau?
41:18Danielle Favreau?
41:20Present.
41:21And I am all here.
41:25I see that.
41:27Jamila Ranjha?
41:28Ranji?
41:29Oh.
41:31Gordel Hefnik?
41:34Yes, you're here.
41:35And Juan Cervantes?
41:36Por favor.
41:38Present.
41:39Por favor.
41:40You're here.
41:41Present.
41:43Well, I'd better take down your particulars, otherwise I may get into hot water.
41:46Oh?
41:47You are going to have a hot bath?
41:50No, Ali, it's just another way of saying I may get into trouble.
41:53Oh, dear.
41:54You have been committing some grievous misdemeanor.
41:58Not at all.
41:59There's an inspector from the local education authority coming round.
42:02Yes, the big boss.
42:03Yes, I suppose you could say that, but from my experience, they're usually interfering old fogies.
42:09You don't like them?
42:10Not particularly.
42:11Frankly, they're quite useless and about as outdated as their teaching methods.
42:14I mean, what's the point of learning past participles, cognate objects or subordinate clauses?
42:18It's far more useful if they're trying to teach a foreign student how to order a meal or find accommodation.
42:23You appear to have some rather unique ideas.
42:25I suppose I have.
42:26You know, you speak English fairly well.
42:31And what is your name?
42:33Roger Kenyon.
42:34Roger Kenyon.
42:36Ah, Miss Courtney, I'm just completing the register and getting the details of our new student before that inspector chappy hopes he's no use.
42:43I don't know.
42:45Mr. Brown.
42:46I shan't be a moment, Miss Courtney.
42:47What is your job?
42:48Inspector.
42:49Oh.
42:50What, local transport?
42:54Local education authority.
42:56Ooh.
43:00I thought he was the new student.
43:02The new student is a female.
43:04Is she? Well, you didn't tell me that.
43:06Oh, my apologies, Mr. Kenyon, and I do assure you that Mr. Brown will be severely dealt with.
43:10I can't remember when I last enjoyed myself so much.
43:13I beg your pardon?
43:14Enjoyed yourself?
43:15You know, Miss Courtney, your Mr. Brown is a remarkable man.
43:19I am?
43:20He is?
43:21Yes.
43:22His teaching methods may be somewhat revolutionary, but they appear to work.
43:26I have always encouraged my staff to be forward-thinking.
43:31Well, I'll pass on your comments to the authority.
43:34Perhaps they'll revise their textbooks.
43:36Now, if you'll excuse me, I must put in an appearance at the other classes.
43:43Oh, uh, keep up the good work, Mr. Brown, and thank you very much for the coffee.
43:49I come with you, Mr. Kenyon.
43:54Blimey, you are dropping a clinker.
44:00You mean clanger.
44:01Yes, please.
44:02Yes, well.
44:03Right, let's continue with our lesson.
44:05Get out your textbooks.
44:06I'm going to give you all a few exercises.
44:08Excuse me, professori, sir, I can't do any exercises.
44:11Why not?
44:12I've got a bad back.
44:16Excuse me, I was looking for you.
44:18Ah, at last.
44:19A pity you didn't arrive half an hour earlier.
44:21Why?
44:22You might have saved me a great deal of embarrassment with a certain African gentleman.
44:24Oh.
44:25Yes, he was a school's inspector, but I mistook him for you.
44:27You thought the gentleman was me?
44:29Yeah.
44:30The silly fool tried to pretend he was a student and sit at the back to try to catch me out,
44:33but I saw through him.
44:35I bet you think he was a bit stupid.
44:37Oh, definitely.
44:38Thick as a brush.
44:39What's his name, Mr. Kenyon?
44:40Yes.
44:41Do you know him?
44:42I should do.
44:43I've come to collect him.
44:44Ah.
44:45I am his wife.
44:48Oh, blimey, yes.
44:49You have dropped another clinker.