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00:00In 2086, two peaceful aliens journeyed to Earth, seeking our help.
00:08In return, they gave us the plans for our first hyperdrive, allowing mankind to open the doors to the stars.
00:20We have assembled a team of unique individuals to protect Earth and our allies,
00:24courageous pioneers committed to the highest ideals of justice,
00:28and dedicated to preserving law and order across the new frontier.
00:33These are the Adventures of the Galaxy Rangers!
00:55Ready to prove it again!
01:14Planet Kerwin, 90 parsecs ahead.
01:17ETA three hours.
01:19What a way to spend a weekend.
01:21Discussing mathematical principles at a Federation conference.
01:25Math is often the first pure science to be discovered by any primitive people.
01:30Waldo, I'm a farmer, not a calculator.
01:34There's a very deep link between mathematics and civilization, Zozo.
01:38On our own planet Andor, the triangle was once considered sacred.
01:43Not on Kerwin. All we know about math is one potato, two potato.
01:48I'm picking something up.
01:59Wow!
02:00Double wow!
02:11Hey, that would be fun! Let's go!
02:14But we're scheduled for a debriefing on Kerwin at 0500.
02:18Ah, you Andorians don't know how to enjoy yourself.
02:22We have plenty of time for a debriefing.
02:25I'll put it to a vote, but we seem to be split four to four.
02:29Four to six, if you count Swee and Bud.
02:32Let's go!
02:33Yeah, you're outvoted. In we go!
02:38Welcome to the Orion Flying Circus and Rodeo!
02:42The show is about to begin!
02:54There's no problem, as long as the kiwi can juggle our schedule.
03:00Junglers?
03:01Encore!
03:04Junglers?
03:06Encore! Encore! This scene's wonderful!
03:10I never thought you clowns would ever admit to having fun.
03:14Clowns?
03:17Howdy, howdy, howdy!
03:20Welcome to the Orion Flying Circus and Rodeo!
03:24Don't think old Wild Bill Kreb didn't recognize you.
03:27Recognize us?
03:29Indeed. It is my pleasure to award each of you one of these official emblems
03:34as a small token of my appreciation.
03:38You would honor us by wearing them.
03:41That's rule one of protocol. Never turn down a gift.
03:47Congratulations, jugglers and clowns.
03:50You have just been initiated into the Orion Flying Circus and Rodeo show.
03:56Jugglers?
03:58Clowns?
03:59You've got to be kidding.
04:01Oh, yeah?
04:03Ouch! That hurts!
04:05Don't bother, folks. Once those collars go on, they don't come off.
04:10That does it, bozo. You just earned yourself a fat lip.
04:14Please, Zeeza. I'm afraid he might hurt the babies.
04:17This way, folks.
04:19Now, it's hard to get quality entertainers these days.
04:25Luckily, our staff are all volunteers, like you.
04:29Listen, pal. We're not jugglers or clowns. We're ambassadors.
04:34Ambassadors? Well, even if you are telling the truth.
04:38That's no reason to let you go. Now, get in that cage.
04:43Cage? No! Never!
04:47Get in there!
04:49Kreb, we can't go in that cage. The Andorian people...
04:54All right, stop! We'll go, for now.
05:05Pamino!
05:08Ladies and gentlemen, may I introduce Ernie and Gelatinus.
05:13Are we supposed to clap?
05:15Ernie is a super-talented android robot.
05:19He'll be helping you jugglers to polish up your act.
05:23Gelatinus can change his body shape at will.
05:26If any of you step out of line, he'll be there to clobber you.
05:30And aside from my brilliant cunning and my hilarious antics,
05:35I'm what you call...
05:41Trans-dimensional.
05:47In the morning, your training is gonna begin.
05:54Uncle Waldo, I'm scared. The regression.
05:58Hang on, Norbus. We'll get out in time.
06:02Ain't nobody ever broke out of here, stranger.
06:10Little fella, believe me, I've been trying a long time.
06:14How long have you been here?
06:16About 18 years.
06:24Good morning, Kiwi. It's time for you to juggle.
06:28It's too early to juggle.
06:31Come back at 7.30 and bring pancakes.
06:34Insolent curb. Ha-ha.
06:38Observe.
06:40You will all learn to be as good as the great Ernie, the android robot.
06:45You first, insolent one.
06:47Hey, this is easy.
06:49This is easy.
06:51You have only just started to learn.
06:56We'll be putting you out of a job soon, motorhead.
07:00Motorhead?
07:07You'll juggle those clubs when you drop, Kiwi.
07:10How about if I drop you instead?
07:16Chalk one up for Kiwi dexterity.
07:20Get the keys.
07:30We'll be back, guys, and we'll bring help.
07:33I know you'll be back.
07:39Escaping performers.
07:46Huh?
07:50ZZ Up, run to the ship. Get help.
07:54Ernie.
07:58He won't get far.
08:16What?
08:26You'll pay for this, Kiwi.
08:33Mayday, mayday.
08:35This is Ambassador ZZ Up, Kiwi.
08:46The distress call came from coordinates A-3-4.
08:50Since the three of you are in that sector, I want you to find those ambassadors.
08:55Right, Commander.
08:57I wish those guys would use escorts.
08:59Niko, set scanners on wide search program.
09:03Scanners on wide.
09:05I've got their hypershark. Sector seven.
09:07Log in.
09:09Roger.
09:11Scanners on wide.
09:13I've got their hypershark. Sector seven.
09:15Locking in coordinates.
09:22We have got to get out of here.
09:27Waldo, what's going on?
09:29All you Andorians have been acting like...
09:32Like what?
09:37I was the only one that escaped.
09:40The others, my brother Zozo, my wife, my kids...
09:44Still trapped there.
09:46Take it easy, ZZ Up.
09:48Any sign of that circus ship, Goose?
09:50Trying, Captain.
09:52They must have moved on.
09:54The Andorians.
09:56Something's wrong with them.
09:58As soon as they got in that cage, zing!
10:00The Andorian regression.
10:02What's that?
10:04Kind of a psychic defense mechanism.
10:07The Andorians find the very concept of captivity so repulsive...
10:11They often revert to animals when imprisoned.
10:22Waldo, what's wrong?
10:25It's too late. Don't you understand?
10:28It's the cage.
10:30Keep them away from the kids.
10:34We've got to appeal to their higher instincts.
10:37I think that I shall never see a poem as lovely as a tree.
10:45A tree.
10:46If a tree falls in a forest and no one hears it...
10:49Did it really fall?
10:51Any thoughts?
10:54Hey, those guys aren't clowns.
10:57They're wild animals.
11:01This new development is great.
11:11Ladies and humanoids!
11:14It's showtime!
11:18Jump!
11:28Up the ladder, kiwis.
11:30Do we get a cut of the profits?
11:32Get up the ladder.
11:38I hope you magnetize and get stuck to the ceiling, Buster.
11:42Yeah.
11:48Now what?
11:50Up across the tightrope.
11:53Have you flipped your chips?
11:55You never trained us to walk a tightrope.
11:57I know.
11:59Ladies and humanoids!
12:02Mutants and gentlemen!
12:05May I direct your attention to the high wire far above the center ring...
12:10Where the amazing kiwi jugglers are precariously perched.
12:18I'm getting dizzy.
12:20Beggy, don't look down.
12:23I can't. Help it.
12:36They're going to fall, Leon.
12:39It's only an act, Leon.
12:41Hang on. I'll help you.
12:43Oh, no, you won't.
12:47Whoa!
12:53Don't fall, sweetie. Hang on, bud.
13:02It appears I have the last laugh, kiwi.
13:07Sorry, Ernie. With a face like that, you'll never have the last laugh.
13:12Whoa! Stop it! No!
13:33Thanks, Gelatinous.
13:35You sure know how to make a guy feel comfortable.
13:38Maybe you'd be more comfortable if I left you alone with your friends.
13:43Waldo, it's me, your little kiwi buddy.
13:46Waldo? Waldo? Waldo?
13:49Oh, get off me.
13:57Waldo, don't you recognize me?
14:09You guys were right. We should have gone straight home.
14:16Hey, Waldo, look.
14:21What is the sum of the squares of the two short legs of a right triangle equal to?
14:31Um, the square of the hypotenuse, of course.
14:36Don't eat me, Waldo.
14:37Eat you? Why would I?
14:44Oh, no!
14:46Waldo, it might be smart to get out of this cage right now.
14:49I agree wholeheartedly.
14:52No!
14:55No!
15:04Escape is impossible, Andorianne.
15:09There's a button on Krab's suit that releases the collars.
15:13Go get him.
15:20Is this part of the act, too, Leon?
15:27Quick, the Andorians have escaped.
15:30Let's go.
15:38Escape.
15:42Attention, everyone. You have nothing to fear from the Andorians.
15:47We are a peaceful and intelligent race.
15:50It is the three men who run this circus whom you should beware of.
15:56All of the performers you've seen here tonight are captives.
16:00Prisoners, please, you must help us.
16:04Oh, boy, I love audience participation, Leon.
16:09To the emergency exits.
16:25This is the Galaxy Rangers.
16:27You're under arrest for kidnapping Kiwi and Andorian ambassadors.
16:34Oh, no. Galaxy Rangers.
16:38Hey.
16:48Galaxy Rangers, ho!
16:55You sure these guys are peaceful and intelligent, Leon?
16:58That's what the man said, Leon.
17:03We're out of the cage, Tycho dear. We're free.
17:08Kiss her. Kiss her.
17:14Ladies and gentlemen, the Galaxy Rangers.
17:21They went that-a-way.
17:26You'll never catch me, Rangers. Ernie is the greatest acrobat in the universe.
17:33That's nice. Maybe you'll get a cell with monkey bars.
17:38No.
17:46This calls for some bionic enhanced strength.
18:08Phew.
18:27Good show, Goose.
18:30I'll never eat gelatin again.
18:33Okay, Joker, you're under arrest.
18:37You can't catch me.
18:40We'll see about that.
18:49I'm right here, Ranger.
18:52Right here or under.
18:58Okay, Chuckles, let's see you laugh this one off.
19:08Love to stay, but I have to pop off.
19:12Not this time.
19:17Which way do they go, George?
19:24Oh, no.
19:26Oh, no.
19:28Oh, no.
19:30Oh, no.
19:32Oh, no.
19:34Oh, no.
19:37Now, where's that button?
19:49Zee-zah?
19:51I'm okay, Zozola. Thanks to the Galaxy Rangers.
20:01How about you, Andorians?
20:03We'll be fine as long as we stay out of that cage.
20:08Let us out, please.
20:10We'll release you under one condition,
20:13that you and your pals return everyone you captured to their home planets.
20:17But that'll take years.
20:2028.7 years, I estimate.
20:23Me and the others have been talking it over,
20:26and we decided since it'll take years for us to get home,
20:30we'll keep on doing what we've always done best.
20:33As long as we're not prisoners anymore,
20:36we don't mind putting on a show.
20:38Well, that sounds just fine.
20:41It's settled.
20:43Just take a seat and get ready to see the greatest show in the free galaxy.
20:53You know, Waldo, I'll kind of miss the roar of the grease paint,
20:57the smell of the crowd.
20:59I guess showbiz is in my blood.
21:29Somewhere in the future
21:32Far away from here
21:35Trouble is a-waiting
21:38On the last frontier
21:40Into this world of wonder
21:43Danger they ride
21:47The Galaxy Rangers
21:49Here to save the sky
21:51No, there's no glory
21:54No pain, no gain
21:58One for all, all for one
22:01Riding home for free
22:03No, there's no glory
22:06Oh, take a step
22:10Ready to prove again
22:15No, there's no glory
22:28No, there's no glory