Ginny Hogan: Regression | movie | 2024 | Official Clip
Ginny Hogan has an idea of what her life should look like by 30, and she's got a plan to get herself there. With detours | dG1fSGpZVjdWYi16Y1k
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Short filmTranscript
00:00When I'm 26 years old, I moved back in with my parents.
00:02My household was a lot like the United States of America
00:06in that the wealth redistribution was pretty minimal.
00:08So after I ran out of my tech savings,
00:12my mother accused me of borrowing too much money from her,
00:14which was so crazy because I never said
00:16I was gonna pay her back, but.
00:18I needed to find another job.
00:23I needed to find another job.
00:27So at first I got a job at a raw vegan smoothie bar.
00:31One time when I was working there,
00:32Katie Holmes came in and she ordered three
00:35of the exact same kind of smoothie.
00:38She sipped all three of them
00:40and then she threw two of them away.
00:44Even though they all tasted exactly the same.
00:49Isn't that wild?
00:51Like imagine being so crazy that you dig through the trash
00:55for Katie Holmes's rejected smoothies.
00:57I couldn't taste the difference, okay?
01:08What does she know that I don't know?
01:11After that, I got a job writing college admissions essays
01:14for high school seniors.
01:18Sorry, sorry, sorry.
01:19Editing.
01:22And tutoring for the SAT.
01:25I liked tutoring for the SAT, I liked the kids.
01:27The parents were a little crazy.
01:29One mom one time wanted me to find out
01:31if her teenage daughter was having sex.
01:34And I was like, okay, the SATs have gotten way more fun.
01:42So I asked her, I was like, hey Katie, are you having sex?
01:45And she says the saddest thing to me.
01:48She says, no, I'm not pretty enough
01:52for boys to want to have sex with me.
01:55Isn't that heartbreaking?
01:56A 16 year old girl.
01:58I was like, oh Katie, you don't have to be pretty
02:08to have sex.
02:10The ugliest people in the world have sex.
02:14How do you think we get new ugly people?
02:19I was her tutor, it was my job to educate her, okay?
02:30Basic biology.
02:33Besides, Katie really didn't need to worry.
02:35She was very pretty, which she should have known
02:37because she had like 700,000 Instagram followers, okay?
02:41In fact, we spent most of the session
02:43with me trying to get her to tag me in her stories.
02:48And she never did it.
02:49I hope she never gets laid, that dumb bitch.
02:54Katie aside, the other kids really liked me.
02:57I would say it's because I was a very chilled tutor.
03:00And if I had to guess why, I would say it's because
03:02I was a little bit drunk the whole time.
03:06Not a big deal.
03:07It is a very low stakes job, in my personal opinion.