Dant Vagar Badam Khavi Kem Dhirubhai Sarvaiya Gujarati Comedy Ram Audio Jokes
Category
ЁЯШ╣
FunTranscript
00:00Music
00:06Clapping
00:14In Rajkot's Parabazar, the grandfathers and grandmothers of Hinter and Henshivar
00:19used to come with their hands in their pockets.
00:22I was honoured to live the life of a Dampati.
00:26I ran and ran away.
00:28They asked me, who are you?
00:30I said, I don't know you.
00:33They said, no.
00:34I said, I don't know you either.
00:36They said, I ran away.
00:39They said, your sister Hinter and Henshivar lived a life of Dampati.
00:44I was honoured for that.
00:46They asked me, why are you leaving Henshivar with your hands in your pockets?
00:50I said, I don't have any love.
00:54They said, put him in any shop and he will be worth two thousand rupees.
00:58Clapping
01:05They asked me to take five grams of almonds from this house.
01:09After taking the almonds, they asked, how do you eat without teeth?
01:13I said, take a handful of peanuts and eat it.
01:16They asked me, how many peanuts?
01:18I said, a handful of peanuts.
01:20They asked me, take a small cup of tea.
01:22I said, I don't want tea.
01:23They asked me, why are you sitting here?
01:24I said, sit in your stomach.
01:26They asked me, what have you decided?
01:28I said, if I don't reach home, I won't put my hands in my pockets.
01:32I won't let anything remain in my pockets.
01:35If you don't want to put your hands in your pockets,
01:39don't decide that this is the life of a Dampati.
01:43At one point, the door of the house creaked.
01:48The neighbor came out and said,
01:52I need your help.
01:57The neighbor said,
01:59We don't have a husband.
02:02We don't have a husband.
02:03He closed the door and went inside.
02:06He went inside.
02:07After a while, he regretted it.
02:09He said, I have been sitting here for so long.
02:11I need your help.
02:13I said, no.
02:14Actually, I need your help.
02:16So, he opened the door again.
02:18He said, tell me, how can I help you?
02:22He said, I am sitting here for so long.
02:24I will push you.
02:27The neighbor came out and took a coin.
02:31The neighbor asked, what is the value of the coin?
02:35He said, one coin is worth two rupees.
02:38He said, if one coin is not enough,
02:41then give me a coin worth one rupee.
02:43He took the coin and said,
02:45One rupee.
02:46Take three coins worth one rupee.
02:47Give me the inside one.
02:50He asked for the inside one.
02:52Who would understand him?
02:54There was a woman sitting in the bus,
02:56and she gave three coins to the conductor.
02:58The conductor kept saying,
03:00give me one coin worth one rupee.
03:02The woman asked for one coin.
03:04The conductor said,
03:05ma'am, there are three coins.
03:06You can give me one coin worth one rupee.
03:08He said, I have been here for three years,
03:10I have to take the coin, if I am older.
03:12He said, this is a coin worth three and a quarter years.
03:15This is a coin worth eight years.
03:17This is a coin worth two years.
03:19The conductor said, I am a worldly man, I am not a boy like this.
03:29The lady said, why not? This is mine, this is my brother's, this is mine.
03:40Then the conductor was amused and said, now you don't need it.
03:45When I had worked for so many years, I got to know this only.
03:51Everyone was working.
03:53When I went out, there was a boy from my brother-in-law's house.
03:56I met him one day.
03:58He said, how many times?
04:00I said, seven.
04:01He said, it's not true.
04:02He said, it's eight times.
04:04I said, Gayatriji, I am his elder brother-in-law.
04:07He said, Som, Mangal, Buddha, Guru, Shukra, Shani, Ravi.
04:11I said, did you touch them?
04:13He said, no, it's eight times.
04:15I said, then we will call you a hand-carrier.
04:17Take them in this hand-carrier.
04:19If it's seven times, don't call them in this hand-carrier.
04:23It's eight times, but I said, they are the same.
04:26He said, it's eight times,
04:28and the eighth is family.
04:30If one family is good, the other seven times will be good.
04:39It's eight times and the eighth is family.
04:41If one family is good, the other seven times will be good.
04:44It's not a lie.
04:46Once we were going to a program.
04:48We took a car from a village.
04:50A father was carrying a stick and was beating the whole house.
04:53Two or three people were walking in the middle,
04:55but the father was mad.
04:57The stick was free.
04:59We kept the car and I ran.
05:02No, the father's soul was holding the stick.
05:04I said, let it be.
05:05He said, are you an artist or not?
05:07I said, yes.
05:08What do you want to do?
05:10He said, I want to beat you.
05:13I said, give it to me.
05:15The stick is free.
05:17I said, I am the reason.
05:19He said, if I say the reason, you will beat me.
05:22I said, if I say the reason, you will beat me.
05:25I said, I am the reason for the beating.
05:28Then he started beating me.
05:31He said, when I was young,
05:33my father's elder sister said,
05:37you don't know?
05:39I said, I don't know.
05:41He said, maybe you don't know.
05:44I said, I have been like this for 25 years.
05:4725 years ago, I got married.
05:50I had a belly.
05:52I had a belly.
05:54I had a belly for 25 years.
05:57I had a belly for 25 years.
05:59I had a belly for 25 years.
06:01I had a belly for 25 years.
06:04I got married.
06:06One day, my wife said,
06:08you don't know?
06:11I said, I don't know.
06:14She said, you don't know?
06:16I said, I have been like this for 25 years.
06:19She said, you don't know?
06:21I said, I don't know.
06:23She said, you don't know?
06:25I said, I don't know.
06:28Laughter
06:31My wife said,
06:34my entire family knows that.
06:38Well, we can't prevent you from coming.
06:40My wife said,
06:41we won't tell you.
06:42He left the house stubbornly.
06:45He said, he won't go again,
06:47or else he would get fired in his life.
06:50I told him,
06:51he is not stubborn,
06:52he does not have any stubborness in the family.
06:54Yes, he has roughness in love.
06:56Otherwise, there should be forgiveness in Samatan.
06:58Only then Samatan will happen. Otherwise, Samatan will not happen.
07:01If you are in a hurry to do Samatan, two murders will happen to each other.
07:06In these seventy months, you see, we will have fun in Rajkot.
07:09In Navratri, everyone will be dancing in Noortha.
07:11In Ganesh Mahotsav, Ganpati Bapa will die.
07:14Dheema Laddu will be stolen.
07:16This Hanuman Jayanti, I am talking about Dharanati.
07:19In all these festivals, in Rajkot, there is a lot of fun.
07:23In these seventy-six months, there is a lot of fun.
07:26In the festival of Mataji, there is a lot of fun.
07:30I was in a festival.
07:32A man came and asked for a snake.
07:36I said, hey, mother, don't give me a snake.
07:42If you ask for a snake, you will get it.
07:44If you don't have a snake, you won't get it.
07:46If you don't have a snake, you will get it.
07:48If you don't have a snake, you will get it.
07:50If you get all the things in life, then there is no fun.
07:55But to live a life, if you have some shortcomings,
07:59then there is fun in living.
08:01If you get all the things, then there is fun in life.
08:05The fun of happiness is the pain.
08:08If you have some shortcomings, then there is fun in living.
08:11I told the pilot,
08:14I took him to the clinic.
08:17The doctor examined him and said,
08:20you will have to give him a balloon.
08:22Keep it aside.
08:23He said, first wash your hands, then give him a balloon.
08:28The doctor said, you go, you don't know what a balloon is.
08:33The pilot said, give him a balloon,
08:35give him an aeroplane, give him a helicopter.
08:38But I don't know how to shoot.
08:41In Rajkot, there are so many clinics.
08:45There are so many facilities.
08:47There are so many organizations.
08:48If there is no one here,
08:49you can go to the clinic in the government.
08:52People will give you fruits.
08:54You will get milk in the air.
08:56If you go there, you can go for 15 days.
08:59One day, I went to the country side.
09:02There was a long train.
09:05I got out of the train.
09:06I asked the driver to stop the train.
09:08He stopped the train.
09:09I got off the train and went.
09:12He said, you can do it here.
09:13I said, why can't I do it here?
09:15If I can't do it here, then where can I do it?
09:18He said, the train will come.
09:20It will be cut off.
09:21I said, this is your imagination.
09:23Just now, he said aeroplane,
09:25but nothing happened.
09:26What will happen in the train?
09:29Just now, one brother had an accident.
09:33He was taken to the hospital.
09:35The doctor was very worried.
09:39He came to Patawala.
09:41He said, can you breathe or not?
09:46One doctor said,
09:48if you can breathe for half an hour,
09:51then you can live.
09:52He said, 15 minutes ago, there was an accident.
10:03In the village, there were 500 people.
10:06They got together and drank alcohol.
10:11In reality, women are afraid of air,
10:15but men are afraid of poison.
10:16If you drink alcohol,
10:18you will have a problem.
10:19You will get rid of it.
10:20You will be able to live here.
10:22You will get good food.
10:24You will get home delivery here.
10:28When alcohol was banned,
10:29women were happy.
10:30When there was an earthquake in Poni Bazaar,
10:32men were happy.
10:35This has been going on for two and a half years.
10:38We got stuck in this.
10:42Five or six people drank alcohol
10:44and there was a commotion in the village.
10:46One man said,
10:48if you drink 99% of it,
10:50you will have fun.
10:51Don't drink the rest.
10:53The other man drank.
10:55He said, I am a drunkard.
10:56I don't drink.
10:57I don't want to go.
11:00Do something.
11:03Two men said,
11:04we will go.
11:05We will go to Jhapli.
11:07If you go to Jhapli,
11:08you will only see the greenery.
11:09You will be thrilled.
11:10You will be drenched in sweat.
11:11Don't come back.
11:12The man from Jhapli
11:13got drunk
11:14and ate dinner.
11:16He kept drinking.
11:17In the afternoon,
11:18he went to the house
11:19and got into a fight.
11:20He kept hitting him.
11:21He was so drunk
11:22that he died.
11:23When he came back to his house,
11:24people asked him,
11:25Where is the drunkard?
11:26He said,
11:27I am not drunk.
11:28I am just a tailor
11:31in Poni Bazaar.
11:35It has been surveyed that a vegetarian horse does not have any disease, it is the best of the best.
11:46If it is a diet, then it is a vegetarian horse.
11:51If you go to a butcher's shop and buy a horse, they will give you a good horse.
11:59But if you go to a butcher's shop and buy a horse, they will give you a good horse.
12:08It is a matter of taste, if you go to the market and buy a good horse, it is a matter of taste.
12:18If you go to a butcher's shop and buy a good horse they ask my price,
12:26it is basically the price of one cent per kilogram.
12:30The butcher's wife is very poor.
12:35Her husband needs to buy good horse.
12:40that you are dumb, his name is Leela.
12:46There are some names, in Rajkot, there is a brother named Ashta Kamardar Padam Prakashbhai.
12:53Such a long name, in Kuppan, his name is the only one I know.
12:57I don't know his name.
12:59And in Sher Bazar, he earns 7-8 crore rupees.
13:05And on his 32nd birthday, he got married.
13:09So, some of my artists told me that you are going to sing a wedding song.
13:13Tell me your charge.
13:14I got a call.
13:16I said, who is speaking?
13:17They told me, Ashta Kamardar Padam Prakashbhai.
13:21And I am getting married.
13:23Some artists have booked me to sing a wedding song.
13:26I will book you.
13:28I said, where will I sing a wedding song?
13:30So, they told me to come to Jaan.
13:32It cost me 1 lakh rupees.
13:33I said, no problem.
13:34I wrote the date.
13:36I gave them the date.
13:39So, I went to the wedding.
13:40But the thing is, when I came back from Jaan, some artist didn't sing his song.
13:48The name is so long, it didn't fit in the wedding song.
13:54I showed him, I said, how should I sing?
13:57He said, Ashta Kamardar Padam Prakashbhai.
14:05And his uncle said, he gave so much money for this.
14:09My niece didn't sing a single wedding song.
14:12So, my artist said, don't look at the money.
14:14I wrote the date.
14:17Otherwise, I won't sing this wedding song.
14:20And my artist said, you tell his uncle,
14:23that you should call your daughter-in-law, Phu Union.
14:26Her name will fit in the wedding song.
14:28Otherwise, the wedding song won't fit in the wedding song.
14:31So, I said, whose name will fit in the wedding song?
14:34He said, my wife drank beer from Mumbai.
14:40Her name will fit in the wedding song.
14:43Ashta Kamardar Padam Prakashbhai.
14:47Husband and wife went out for a walk.
14:50There was a crane.
14:52In Rajkot, one wife had eaten paratha.
14:57So, she went to meet him in Delhi.
15:00So, he said, you should go there once,
15:03while I am working on my hand.
15:06I said, yes, yes, I will do it.
15:07His vehicle had a cycle,
15:09so he fell down.
15:12One day, the boy was sitting in front of the cycle.
15:15One wife was sitting there.
15:18One boy was sitting there with his cycle.
15:21He took a rod and threw it into the well.
15:23He fell down.
15:26I said, I have never seen such a boy.
15:30The crane said,
15:32if you see a wine barrel,
15:34then show it to him.
15:36He said, this wine barrel is like a rose.
15:38A rosy colored one.
15:41I said, this wine barrel is big,
15:43if it is our color, it is good.
15:46In Rajkot, if you come to a new market, you will get to know everything about Rajkot in two days.
15:59This is the fun of Rajkot.
16:01Two months ago, I went to Deh.
16:04A painter asked me to make a painting of this lady.
16:08I gave him 200 rupees.
16:11He said, there is nothing to do.
16:13He said, you don't want to see my art.
16:17Just look at this lady's painting once.
16:20I will make a speaking painting.
16:22He was very happy.
16:23He said, this is not a painting.
16:24What is this?
16:27I will make a speaking painting of this lady.
16:30If you can make a painting like this,
16:32if you can create a soul like this,
16:34then please come.
16:36Suddenly, you came here.
16:38One brother was sitting here,
16:39and the other brother came.
16:40He said, hey Ram!
16:43I said, I am not feeling well.
16:45He said, you are not feeling well.
16:47Your sister-in-law is not well.
16:50I said, why?
16:51He said, she doesn't love me.
16:53She loves the one next to her.
16:55Take care of her.
16:59He said, I was riding my motorcycle.
17:02I said, why did you bring your sister-in-law here?
17:04He said, I was riding my motorcycle.
17:05I was riding my motorcycle.
17:06I was riding my motorcycle.
17:07I was riding my motorcycle.
17:08I was riding my motorcycle.
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