• Flavia Brigitta Mihăşan • Repost
•• 12 iunie, 2024. Happy Café.
8 septembrie, 2024.
Acum 3 luni în urmă.
#FlaviaBrigittaMihasan #FlaviaMihasan #Flavia #dance #sillygirl #ballerina #golddigger
•• 12 iunie, 2024. Happy Café.
8 septembrie, 2024.
Acum 3 luni în urmă.
#FlaviaBrigittaMihasan #FlaviaMihasan #Flavia #dance #sillygirl #ballerina #golddigger
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TVTranscript
00:00Hello, and welcome back to Happy Cafe.
00:13We continue today the new season full of inspirational stories and special guests,
00:18and we bring her with us, Flavia Mihașan.
00:20Ruxandra, please, tell us more.
00:22Dear ones, I really enjoyed discovering Flavia in this motherly posture.
00:27We had some discussions during our free time,
00:30and we thought it was necessary to bring her in front of you,
00:33to get to know her through the fact that she is a mother of two, a mother of boys,
00:38and we asked her a lot of questions,
00:41and we will find out how she manages to maintain such a balance in the family,
00:44how she manages the daily challenges with those two children,
00:47born at a very young age.
00:50Less than two years old, right?
00:52A small difference.
00:54But is it true that she has always dreamed of being a mother of boys?
00:57We give a lot of spoilers.
00:59Let's watch the material and find out all the story from her.
01:08Flavia Mihașan, welcome, and thank you very much,
01:11because I know what it means to introduce an interview
01:14in 11,000 things that you do every day,
01:17so thank you very much for being here with us.
01:19Thank you for the invitation, and I will come whenever you call me,
01:22because I know we have a lot to talk about.
01:24My pleasure, and yes, today I would like to go from mother to mother,
01:28because I started to discover you as a mother,
01:31and I was moved by the discussions we had.
01:35You are a wonderful mother, just as I discovered you,
01:38and I would like to talk a little about what this life of a mother of two means,
01:43of a mother of boys.
01:45First of all, when you became a mother,
01:47how do you feel things have changed for you?
01:51I always feel that words are not enough to describe it.
01:56To be honest, and I don't want to cry,
01:59because in two days Carol will be five years old.
02:02Come on, we're both crying.
02:04Look at my skin.
02:06And this morning I was looking,
02:08after I left you at the different kindergartens,
02:11I was looking at some pictures,
02:13you know how they appear on your phone, random albums,
02:15with pictures of when they were babies,
02:17and I started to cry.
02:19I can't believe five years have passed,
02:21at least three years,
02:23last month,
02:25and I'm still like this.
02:27I mean, I'm not coming back.
02:29I know it seems a lot,
02:31but I'm also in this period,
02:33in which he is celebrating his fifth birthday,
02:35and I'm very emotional.
02:37Full of nostalgia.
02:39I don't think it's a lot.
02:41I think anyone who is a parent,
02:43especially us mothers,
02:45the most sensitive,
02:47the closest to our children,
02:49as a mother of a boy,
02:51how is it to be a mother of a boy?
02:53It's what I wanted.
02:55After I had Carol,
02:57I was very happy that she is a boy,
02:59and when I was pregnant with Tudor,
03:01I hoped he would be a boy,
03:03but I couldn't verbalize it,
03:05because I thought that if he would be a girl,
03:07you know...
03:09Not to have all this on your conscience,
03:11as I said,
03:13I always thought
03:15that their relationship would be closer,
03:17because they would have, I hoped,
03:19the same interests,
03:21they would play with the same toys,
03:23they would go to school together,
03:25to football, to what the boys do.
03:27And after I had Tudor,
03:29I also had a moment,
03:31at a fairly short time,
03:33when I really wanted the third child,
03:35and I thought, now I would really like
03:37to have a girl, you know?
03:39It didn't happen,
03:41because I think it's the perfect formula
03:43for me.
03:45And now I have reached a point
03:47where I get along very well with them,
03:49alone.
03:51The rhythm has entered so well, right?
03:53Yes, I mean, somehow now,
03:55they are not so small anymore,
03:57we understand each other differently,
03:59we communicate differently,
04:01and it's a period, yes,
04:03and very beautiful,
04:05when we all talk to each other,
04:07you know, there is no longer that baby
04:09who just tells me what he wants,
04:11what he wants, what he wants much better, you know?
04:13Less stress.
04:15I have children with a big age difference,
04:17and it seemed to me much easier to manage everything,
04:19when the difference was bigger.
04:21For you, much smaller,
04:23they came one after the other.
04:25How did you feel?
04:27Yes, the difference in age is one year and 11 months.
04:29Wow!
04:31And I said that,
04:33you know, I stopped myself from everything I did.
04:35You are a heroine, yes.
04:37That's how I see you, it's my right.
04:41I wanted this little age difference,
04:43because we are three,
04:45and it is incredible that the difference
04:47between the three of us is still one year and 11 months.
04:49I am the oldest,
04:51I have a sister and I have a brother.
04:53You came just like that?
04:55One year and 11 months, yes.
04:57And when I got pregnant,
04:59it really seemed to me like that,
05:01you know, nothing happens,
05:03and I say, wow, how cool,
05:05we had the same toys,
05:07we wore the same clothes,
05:09my mother never did anything that bothered me,
05:11I admit it then, but now I understand it
05:13as an adult and as a mother,
05:15that there was no difference between the two of us,
05:17I mean, the one who bought me,
05:19being the oldest, had my sister,
05:21and everything I had as clothes, she had too,
05:23and I was, yes, but I am the oldest,
05:25you know, and all the time I reproached her,
05:27somehow, my mother,
05:29and now I do the same thing with my children,
05:31I mean, they both have the same things,
05:33which bothered me before.
05:35Have you ever told your mother,
05:37you talked about this,
05:39you see, we somehow reach the words,
05:41the parents, the deeds,
05:43and I don't know how,
05:45it seems fair to me, you know,
05:47even though I am aware that
05:49the eldest, Carol,
05:51should have a little more authority,
05:53and I try to do this thing,
05:55many times, you know, I mean,
05:57I try to say, Tudor, you should listen to Carol,
05:59because she is older, blah, blah, blah,
06:01well, now she is 11 months old.
06:05But no, as an idea, this role,
06:07among all the roles I had
06:09and I still have in my life,
06:11is by far the most important,
06:13and the one that gives me
06:15the most satisfaction
06:17and the most problems,
06:19or,
06:21problems in the sense of
06:23situations in which I am put face to face
06:25with myself, you know,
06:27because when I look at them,
06:29I am, you know, individually,
06:31every little man, but I am in them,
06:33you know, and everything that
06:35bothers me,
06:37I see in them,
06:39and I see myself in their eyes,
06:41and after that I say,
06:43ok, so it's not just about having
06:45some kids and leaving them,
06:47because, you know, they are not ours,
06:49but it is a job,
06:51if you are aware that
06:53you have to work a lot
06:55in the relationship with your kids,
06:57if you are aware,
06:59and I have moments when I see my mistakes,
07:01my exaggerations,
07:03I see my kids, I do them,
07:05and then I become so aware,
07:07but the important thing is,
07:09as you said, that we realize them
07:11and we try to do as much as we can
07:13and what we can to correct them.
07:15Once, with this role as a mother,
07:17I started to have this feeling of constant guilt.
07:19Of course.
07:21I mean, it is a constant feeling in my life,
07:23I never think that
07:25I do enough,
07:27and that I connect enough with them,
07:29even though I try to do this,
07:31but there are so many things
07:33that happen between them,
07:35and my relationship,
07:37and all this chaos
07:39we live in as a society,
07:41that many times
07:43I feel like I am losing, you know,
07:45and then I find moments
07:47like tonight, before Nani,
07:49when we really connect,
07:51even with the lights off,
07:53we do Nani,
07:55and everyone has things to say
07:57about what happened that day,
07:59I mean, I have a set of questions
08:01that I ask every night,
08:03like, let's talk a little bit,
08:05let's evaluate the day.
08:07To which they are ready to answer.
08:09You know that the most important moment
08:11is the evening moment,
08:13and the morning moment.
08:15It doesn't matter what happens during the day,
08:17when life goes faster,
08:19but those two moments,
08:21you are a specialist,
08:23or you didn't show us the experience.
08:25Yes, I did it intuitively,
08:27because I realized
08:29that then it's quiet,
08:31and one is on the right,
08:33and the other is on the left,
08:35and they don't want to jump over each other,
08:37after what I do to them.
08:39You sit among them.
08:41Yes, I sit among them,
08:43that's how I sleep,
08:45and I ask them,
08:47let's talk about how it was,
08:49and I tell them that I enjoyed playing,
08:51or talking to someone,
08:53or eating,
08:55or whatever.
08:57What didn't you like today?
08:59Because if you didn't like it,
09:01try not to repeat it.
09:03Or try to create a dialogue between them,
09:05and after that...
09:07What am I doing?
09:09Please, let me finish,
09:11it's my turn.
09:13Who said that?
09:15Tudor, this little one,
09:17I see the social media difference
09:19between the first and the second child,
09:21because I don't have three like you,
09:23congratulations,
09:25I swear, it's perfect.
09:27It was easy for me,
09:29but there are still three,
09:31they still need...
09:33Different needs.
09:35Yes, because mom is only one.
09:37You know, you can have all the help in the world,
09:39but mom is only one,
09:41and you don't even have her.
09:43Let's talk about this.
09:45When we started
09:47this journey,
09:49about having children,
09:51we said that no one will intervene,
09:53as much as we can,
09:55and we won't let
09:57neither my parents,
09:59nor his parents intervene.
10:01So, not even the grandparents?
10:03No, not at all.
10:05And when the situation
10:07became difficult with the second child,
10:09I never needed anyone.
10:11I took him with me everywhere,
10:13to the nails, to the hair,
10:15to the rehearsals, to the filming,
10:17everywhere.
10:19And if I couldn't take him,
10:21Marius would.
10:23We were very happy with him.
10:25It was also during the pandemic,
10:27it was easier, somehow...
10:29And you wanted him so much,
10:31you were waiting for him so much.
10:33Yes, so I was...
10:35He was born in Razna,
10:37so I wanted to have a child.
10:39You wanted him so much, I understand.
10:41So I was like,
10:43oh my God, a child!
10:45I felt him, I saw him, I was waiting for him.
10:47You see, how important it is
10:49to come at the right moment.
10:51I always say this, the ideal difference
10:53between three and five years
10:55does not exist.
10:57When you feel it,
10:59you do it on the first one,
11:01and if you feel it and when you feel it,
11:03you do it on the second one.
11:05Yes, and it's clear that they chose us,
11:07they chose me, it's clear,
11:09and it's clear that they chose me,
11:11continuing with adolescence,
11:13then with maturity,
11:15or I would say maturity,
11:17because I don't think I'm there yet,
11:19we're working on it.
11:21But we're growing,
11:23we're growing together,
11:25don't you feel that you've grown
11:27together with your children?
11:29Yes, a lot, a lot,
11:31many times I thought,
11:33stopping from everything I've done in my life,
11:35like a job, you know, like a job,
11:37it's enough to think, if I didn't have them,
11:39I mean, I am grateful to them,
11:41I know it sounds like a cliché,
11:43that everyone says, I am grateful
11:45that they came to me, no, no, no,
11:47so I started to know myself,
11:49through them I couldn't,
11:51I couldn't go back to what I was,
11:53I went back to my childhood,
11:55I reconsidered my whole relationship
11:57with my parents, after that,
11:59of course, I talked to my mother
12:01about this, but there were things
12:03that bothered me when I was a child
12:05and I got hit by this emotion of being a mother
12:07and I thought, well, I could never,
12:09I'm not saying I was complaining,
12:11although in those moments,
12:13especially when you go to sleep,
12:15you don't know what it's like
12:17the next day or the next period,
12:19because you're exhausted.
12:23If I had somehow, I don't know,
12:25a huge financial potential
12:27or if I had a job
12:29that would allow me, I don't know,
12:31anything, I think I would have done
12:33a lot of things.
12:35I already had Tudor for a few months
12:37and I couldn't take it anymore.
12:39And I went to the kindergarten,
12:41when, when...
12:43Now? Now?
12:45I don't know, I say tomorrow,
12:47I'm serious.
12:49So you took him tomorrow,
12:51you sent him?
12:53I took him tomorrow.
13:03How did you learn to cook?
13:09At least four years of my life
13:11were not about me at all.
13:13And I had to learn this, yes?
13:15And I had to, not to learn this,
13:17because I wanted to.
13:19I mean, I couldn't do otherwise.
13:21But there was somehow a small part of me
13:23that said, what am I going to do next?
13:25I mean, who am I without them?
13:27Who am I?
13:29I didn't know what I liked to eat,
13:31I didn't even start eating.
13:33What music do I like?
13:35I mean, there was a general chaos,
13:37but after that, somehow,
13:39the light came on during the years, you know?
13:41And I think it's a huge gain.
13:43And I'm really grateful
13:45that I'm in this role, honestly.
13:47It fills the life, I don't know,
13:49it has more substance,
13:51it has...
13:53It's important, I mean...
13:55And the idea is that
13:57you see them growing up and,
13:59some people grow up,
14:01I mean, there are some people...
14:03In our hands, you realize...
14:05No, it's huge what we have to do.
14:07We have a huge responsibility
14:09to make some big people,
14:11some small people,
14:13who will then be them,
14:15in this big world, free people.
14:17Yes, and that's exactly
14:19what this feeling of guilt is about,
14:21that you want to...
14:23You want to give them, you know,
14:25a lot, so they can be easy,
14:27knowing what life means.
14:29We, as adults, we know
14:31what can happen to us,
14:33and we try to...
14:35I think we have to relax a bit.
14:37Yes, and let them go,
14:39because that's the only way they can learn.
14:41Because we know from our experience,
14:43if they didn't tell us a hundred times,
14:45they could have told us,
14:47until we hit our skin,
14:49we didn't learn the lesson.
14:51And you should know,
14:53I don't know how it was for you,
14:55but the anger and despair
14:57I had with Carol,
14:59can be seen in their behavior.
15:01I mean, Tudor is much more...
15:03And Carol is brave,
15:05but Carol is a bit more...
15:07She stays a bit and analyzes things.
15:09And if I had, I don't know,
15:11a huge financial potential,
15:13or if I had a job that would allow me
15:15to do, I don't know, anything,
15:17I think I would have made a lot of kids.
15:19A lot, but you know that,
15:21beyond money, and your experience,
15:23it's this idea of you being there,
15:25physically, next to them,
15:27and I thought that I could have
15:29all the money in the world,
15:31all the help in the world,
15:33when the little one says,
15:35mom, play with me,
15:37the big one says,
15:39but I want you to go with me to Tunza,
15:41the middle one says,
15:43I want you to take me to the mall,
15:45or I know what he wants,
15:47everyone wants something,
15:49they want it at the same time,
15:51in different conditions.
15:53Yes, but still an emotion,
15:55and their emotional need
15:57must be satisfied by you,
15:59who is only one.
16:01That's why it's very important
16:03how many kids we take beyond all.
16:05And that's right.
16:07But you know, I found it easier
16:09with two emotionally,
16:11than with one.
16:13It seems to me that when I speak
16:15from my point of view,
16:17because I had a period of 1 year and 11 months
16:19and I put on him
16:21all the expectations,
16:23all my fear,
16:25all...
16:27Because this was my child,
16:29my child that had to be
16:31everything that I didn't have,
16:33everything I want for him.
16:35And then, when Tudor came,
16:37it was halved,
16:39I mean, I still put on him,
16:41but he's more relaxed,
16:43I mean, I'm aware of this.
16:45I know I'm a mother,
16:47because you want good things,
16:49and beautiful things,
16:51like any mother wants.
16:53Yes, because they don't exist.
16:55I take them from kindergarten,
16:57and they don't exist.
16:59We go to the park,
17:01I mean, I know them.
17:03We go to the park,
17:05we ride our bikes,
17:07and we stay there,
17:09daily, since they are born.
17:11You know, it happens,
17:13there are rehearsals,
17:15and the roles are equal
17:17for the children,
17:19which may seem normal to us,
17:21that we are part of something like this,
17:23but in reality, nowadays,
17:25these roles are not always
17:27so well balanced in the couple.
17:29And many times, the responsibility
17:31falls on the mother's shoulders,
17:33the society expects the mother
17:35to carry all the burden.
17:37Yes, and all the burden of the family,
17:39plus the job, plus...
17:41I don't know if I should laugh well,
17:43but if you do too much cleaning,
17:45it means you don't have enough children.
17:47So, it's a...
17:49Speaking of looking good,
17:51you said you didn't know
17:53what you liked to eat,
17:55and speaking of you being
17:57and probably will always be
17:59an extraordinarily beautiful woman,
18:01tell us if you ever
18:03cared,
18:05because your perfect figure,
18:07those legs that everyone
18:09talks about,
18:11I was always surprised,
18:13I never liked my legs,
18:15I always thought...
18:17The beauty is in the eye of the beholder,
18:19and the beholders
18:21remain with their eyes there.
18:23Thank you, and you,
18:25now I admire your legs,
18:27you are absolutely gorgeous,
18:29you are a repair.
18:31But did you ever care
18:33that someone would change something?
18:35That was the last thought,
18:37not even once,
18:39you didn't even think
18:41about your breasts, your waist,
18:43these are the main things,
18:45you fought for your children.
18:47Yes, every year.
18:49And you know, I had some discussions
18:51with my babies,
18:53and I decided it would be a year.
18:55That's it, mom, you are very strict.
18:57Yes, and you know,
18:59I hear so many cases
19:01that they can't come off,
19:03but they came off quite easily,
19:05I don't know if...
19:07Yes, it's true,
19:09it's not easy for me.
19:11But I got used to it,
19:13thinking it would be a year,
19:15and that's it.
19:17That's how I settled down,
19:19I don't know why.
19:21Because you were probably
19:23thinking how hard it would be
19:25to breastfeed the first one,
19:27the second one would need
19:29to wake up at night,
19:31because there are mothers
19:33who breastfeed in tandem,
19:35and it's not as difficult.
19:37See?
19:39We mothers see the effort
19:41that other mothers make.
19:43Yes, so I didn't think about it,
19:45especially because I knew
19:47I could do sports fast.
19:49I was careful,
19:51I mean, I was careful.
19:53I didn't have this desire to come off,
19:55it was quite uncomfortable for me,
19:57you know, in both breasts.
19:59I didn't have cramps, I didn't have...
20:01Ah, so you had breasts,
20:03but it's possible,
20:05because you were doing sports,
20:07it helps, a good physical condition,
20:09and nutrition, right?
20:11I can't tell you,
20:13I haven't eaten meat for about 18 years,
20:15I eat fish, and I eat
20:17quite clean,
20:19but yes,
20:21I didn't have...
20:23You didn't have cramps?
20:25You did, because I remember
20:27at the first cramp, sports, exercise,
20:29you were very active, you already had a belly,
20:31you didn't have any problems.
20:33Yes, in 6 months I was with Carol,
20:35and I was on stage.
20:37When did you stop?
20:39At 6 months.
20:41At 6 months I stopped dancing,
20:43because I was getting cramps,
20:45and I was pregnant.
20:47And it was at the first cramp,
20:49and you didn't have any emotions?
20:51My gynecologist was in the room
20:53at one of the shows,
20:55and he sent me on WhatsApp,
20:57stop now, what are you doing?
20:59I know your body,
21:01I know it very well,
21:03I know when I need to sleep,
21:05I don't listen to it,
21:07but I learned to listen to it.
21:09We can't listen to it when we can't sleep,
21:11because sleep is the last thing on the list,
21:13we did everything,
21:15we lived enough,
21:17and when there is time left,
21:19we sleep.
21:21But in raising children,
21:23do you follow parenting books?
21:25Does the instinct matter a lot?
21:27Does the instinct matter
21:29what others tell you,
21:31what your mother tells you,
21:33what you see on the internet?
21:35Do you get inspired by other mothers?
21:37Yes, I get inspired by all kinds of courses,
21:39and parenting podcasts,
21:41but I rely a lot on my intuition and instinct.
21:43And I think this is...
21:45Of course, there are times
21:47when I try to make the best decision,
21:49regarding any kind of situation,
21:51like when I took Carol to kindergarten,
21:53then I took Tudor,
21:55and I couldn't leave him there,
21:57to sleep there or not,
21:59and I didn't inform him.
22:01Carol was 3 years old,
22:03and I already had Tudor for a few months,
22:05and I couldn't take him anymore.
22:07And I called the kindergarten,
22:09and I said,
22:11I'll take him tomorrow.
22:13I took him the next day,
22:15and I saw the kindergarten,
22:17but then we were going on a vacation,
22:19and I waited until we came back,
22:21but I wasn't ready.
22:23That was the moment.
22:25And after that, Tudor...
22:27So, Carol was 3 years old,
22:29and Tudor was 2 and 4 months old.
22:35Dear ones, as the only mother
22:37on this set,
22:39the only mother,
22:41I didn't dream of being a mother of a girl,
22:43or a mother of a boy,
22:45I wanted to be a mother of a healthy child.
22:47I didn't think of anything else.
22:49After a boy came,
22:51I thought,
22:53at least I'll have a daughter.
22:55And that's what happened.
22:57I was very lucky.
22:59You know,
23:01a child is a blessing,
23:03and whatever it was,
23:05I kept it and raised it,
23:07just like you raise the third child.
23:09You can go there, if you want.
23:11Do you want to?
23:13Yes, but I want two.
23:15I want three,
23:17but I'll manage with two.
23:19I want a daughter.
23:21I want to be a father of a girl,
23:23and a father of a boy,
23:25and a father of a healthy boy,
23:27no matter what.
23:29Christ, what do you want ?
23:31I don't know.
23:33I just want it to be.
23:35We'll see.
23:37We'll be waiting for you tomorrow,
23:39here, at Happy Cafe.
23:41Kisses.
23:43Bye-bye.
23:46By building notoriety,
23:48and having to be present
23:50at various events,
23:52I realized that,
23:54in a way,
23:56you have to take into account
23:58the conditions of an event,
24:00the weather outside,
24:02the time of year,
24:04the status of the people around you,
24:06the topic you're discussing,
24:08the background,
24:10there are many things.
24:15Happy Cafe