Buffy The Vampire Slayer Season 3 Episode 12 Helpless
Buffy The Vampire Slayer Season 3 Episode 12 Helpless
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00:00I'm not sure that's the word.
00:26Okay, I didn't mean satisfied like.
00:34No, I wasn't trying to.
00:36Because we're not having satisfaction in the personal sense.
00:41Of course.
00:44I should go.
00:45Charles is...
00:46He's waiting for you.
00:47I know.
00:48Thanks for the workout.
00:49Hey, um, am I going to see you this weekend?
00:56You, uh, you probably have plans.
00:59Right.
01:00Birthday.
01:01Um, actually, I do have a thing.
01:04Oh, a thing.
01:07Date?
01:08Nice attempt at casual.
01:11Actually, I do have a date.
01:14Older man.
01:15Very handsome.
01:17Likes it when I call him Daddy.
01:20Your father.
01:22It is your father, right?
01:25He's taking me to the ice show.
01:27It should be big fun.
01:30I could use a little fun.
01:34This one?
01:36Amethyst.
01:38Used for?
01:40Breath mints?
01:42Charm bags, money spells, and for cleansing one's aura.
01:48Okay, so how do you know if one's aura is dirty?
01:51Does somebody come by with a finger and write wash me on it?
01:54Buffy, I'm aware of your distaste at studying vibratory stones,
01:58but since it is part of your training,
02:00I would appreciate your glib-free attention.
02:04Sorry.
02:06It's just with Faith on one of her unannounced walkabouts,
02:09I feel like somebody should be patrolling.
02:11Faith is not interested in proper training,
02:13so I must rely on you to keep up with yours.
02:15I hate being the good one.
02:17If you're patrolling, well, you'll be there soon enough.
02:21Why so anxious?
02:24I guess I just have some energy to burn.
02:30Well, in due time.
02:32But for the present, if it's not entirely beyond your capabilities,
02:38try to concentrate.
02:48Oh!
02:51Boy, that was really funny looking.
02:53Could you do it again?
02:54I'll kill you for that.
02:56Not bad.
02:57What were you trying to kill me for before?
03:03Okay, so here's the deal.
03:18Ah!
03:26Let me know if I'm not doing this right.
04:17♪
04:48Ah!
04:51Ah!
05:14Did I have you on the date?
05:18Giles, something's wrong.
05:20Wrong?
05:25Ah.
05:27Perhaps you shouldn't do that anymore.
05:31On top of that, I got a bad case of the dizzies last night
05:34and almost let a vamp stake me with my own stake.
05:42I'm way off my game.
05:44My game's left the country.
05:46I'm in Cuernavaca.
05:48Giles, what's going on here?
05:50Perhaps you've got a bad flu bug or something.
05:55No.
05:56No, not sick.
05:57I can't get sick.
05:58My dad's coming to take me to the ice show.
06:01We do it every year for my birthday.
06:04If I cancel, it's going to break his heart.
06:07Well, just take it easy for 48 hours.
06:11Forgo patrolling until you get yourself again.
06:15No.
06:16No, I just need to spend a little more time training.
06:23I'm gone.
06:26An ice show.
06:27A show performed on ice.
06:30And how old are we again?
06:32I went to Snoopy on ice when I was little.
06:35My dad took me backstage,
06:36and I got so scared I threw up on woodstock.
06:40Look, I know you guys think it's just a big, dumb, girly thing,
06:43but it's not.
06:44A lot of those skaters are Olympic medal winners,
06:46and every year my dad buys me cotton candy
06:49in one of those souvenir programs.
06:51It has all the pictures, and okay,
06:53it's a big, dumb, girly thing, but I love it.
06:56It's not so girly.
06:58Ice is cool.
06:59It's water, but it's not.
07:02I think it's sweet you and your dad have a tradition,
07:06especially now that he's not around so much.
07:09Ixnay on the caramel corn, though, if you go backstage.
07:13It's a good-talking party, right?
07:14I mean, some of us still love to relish
07:16celebrating the birth of the buff.
07:19I don't know.
07:20I think it might be time to put a moratorium
07:22on parties in my honor.
07:24They tend to go badly.
07:26Monsters crash, people die.
07:28But 18 is a big one, Buffy.
07:30I mean, you can vote now.
07:32You can be drafted.
07:35You can vote not to be drafted.
07:38I think I'll choose to celebrate this one
07:40with quiet reflection.
07:42It's been written that quiet reflection
07:44can't be combined with cake and funny hats.
07:58Buffy?
08:00Present.
08:01Ooh, present.
08:03Uh, they're not.
08:05They're from your father.
08:07His, uh, quarterly projections are unraveling
08:11and I can't afford to take off right now.
08:14He promises to make it up to you.
08:16It's all right there in the letter.
08:21If you want, I could ask somebody
08:23to cover for me at the gallery.
08:26I mean, if you want me to take you.
08:28No.
08:29No, that's not necessary.
08:32I was just thinking it might be nice
08:34to have a quiet birthday.
08:41Oh.
08:44How much longer, Hobson?
08:46Five.
08:48Five.
08:50Five.
08:52Five.
08:54Five.
08:56Five.
08:58Five.
09:00Five.
09:02Five.
09:04Five.
09:06Five.
09:08Five.
09:10How much longer, Hobson?
09:12Five.
09:13Maybe six hours, sir.
09:16Why don't you finish you and Black
09:18and get some rest?
09:20You'll sleep in shifts.
09:31I'm getting very close.
09:34The Slayer's preparation is nearly complete.
09:41You know, it's not just cartoon characters.
09:44They do pieces from operas and ballets.
09:49Brian Boitano doing Carmen is a life-changer.
09:54Oh, he doesn't actually play Carmen.
09:57But a lot of sophisticated people go.
10:00Yes.
10:02I think we should start with the grounding crystal again.
10:06It's usually something that families do together.
10:10I look very carefully for the tiny flaw at its core.
10:14If someone were free, they'd take their daughters
10:18or their student or their Slayer.
10:23Yes, but, Buffy, I think we should concentrate now.
10:27I look for the flaw at its center.
10:36Buffy.
10:51Buffy.
11:06Buffy.
11:36Buffy.
11:59Oh, I'm sorry. Did I zone out on you?
12:02I'm just nursing that flu bug.
12:05Take care of that.
12:07Else we should...
12:09Call it a night.
12:11Yeah, that's a good idea.
12:14Thanks.
12:22Good night.
12:24Good night.
12:33So how's it going with Amy the rat?
12:35Good. She loves her new exercise wheel.
12:38She runs around her nose, wiggles her...
12:40I meant, how's it going changing her back into a human being?
12:43Oh, still working on it.
12:46But I just got her the cutest little ballet.
12:49You don't do that to me.
12:51I waited for you at the bronze all night.
12:54And the big deal is?
12:56You made me look like some kind of dork in front of my posse.
13:00First of all, posse passe.
13:04Second of all, anyone with a teaspoon of brains
13:07knows not to take my flirting seriously,
13:10especially with my extenuating circumstances.
13:13Oh, what circumstances?
13:15Rebound. Look it up.
13:17Hey, I'm not through here.
13:21Hmm.
13:25What is wrong with you?
13:27How? How? The chick started it.
13:32Are you okay?
13:42Okay, I just got swatted down by some gno-neck
13:45and rescued by Cordelia.
13:47What the hell is happening?
13:49It'll sort itself out.
13:51Look, you're not getting the big picture here.
13:54I have no strength.
13:56I have no coordination.
13:59I throw knives like...
14:01A girl?
14:05Like I'm not the Slayer.
14:09Look, Buffy, I assure you,
14:12given time, we'll get to the bottom
14:15of what was causing this anomaly.
14:18Promise me.
14:20Yes.
14:22I give you my word.
14:26You're having doubts.
14:28Crucimentum is not easy for Slayer or Watcher,
14:33but it's been done this way for a dozen centuries.
14:37Whenever Slayer turns 18,
14:39it's a time-honoured rite of passage.
14:42It's an archaic exercise in cruelty.
14:47To lock her in this...
14:49tomb?
14:51Weakened, defenceless?
14:55And to unleash that on her?
15:03If any one of the Council still had actual contact with the Slayer,
15:07they would see, but I'm the one in the thick of it.
15:10Which is why you're not qualified to make this decision.
15:13You're too close.
15:15That's not true. Slayer's not just physical prowess.
15:19She must have cunning, imagination,
15:22a confidence derived from self-reliance.
15:26Believe me, once this is all over,
15:29your Buffy will be stronger for it.
15:32Or she'll be dead for it.
15:41Rupert.
15:43This girl has everything you say,
15:46and you've nothing to worry about.
15:54Uh, sir, if you can spare me for a short spell,
15:58I'll need to make a run to the hardware store.
16:00I just need some...
16:04Take care of it.
16:07Take care of it.
16:09Take care of it.
16:35Come on, come on.
16:40Come on.
16:49Cranach.
16:51Your pills.
16:53Open your mouth.
17:10It's enough.
17:12Close it up.
17:22Aha! A curse on Slayer's.
17:26Oh, no. Wait.
17:28It's lawyers.
17:30You know, maybe we're on the wrong track.
17:33I don't know.
17:35It's lawyers.
17:37You know, maybe we're on the wrong track
17:39with the whole spell-curse-and-whammy thing.
17:42Maybe what we should be looking for
17:44is something like Slayer Kryptonite.
17:47Faulty metaphor.
17:49Kryptonite kills.
17:51You're assuming I meant the green Kryptonite.
17:53I was referring, of course, to the red Kryptonite,
17:55which drains Superman of his powers.
17:57You're wrong.
17:59The gold Kryptonite is the power sucker.
18:01The red Kryptonite mutates Superman
18:03into some sort of weird...
18:05Guys, reality.
18:10Buffy, I know you are definitely,
18:14without a doubt, gonna get your powers back.
18:17Thanks, Will.
18:19But what if you don't?
18:22Okay.
18:26If I don't get my powers back,
18:29then I don't.
18:31I'll deal.
18:34And there's a whole lot of good sides to it.
18:37Actually, this could open up so many...
18:42Did you find anything?
18:44Uh, no. Not yet.
19:02Help!
19:07It's your shift.
19:22Ferals.
19:24Yes.
19:32Ferals.
19:44It's coming.
19:56Ferals.
20:01Ferals.
20:09Take them.
20:11Ferals.
20:13They're right in front of you.
20:15Where?
20:17Here.
20:19I can't see. Can't...
20:21Can't reach it.
20:24No.
20:28Open your eyes.
20:36Shh.
20:38He's okay, man.
20:54Here.
21:08It's beautiful.
21:10You really like it?
21:12Of course I do.
21:16It's sweet and thoughtful and...
21:20It's full of neat words to learn and say,
21:23like, wilt and henceforth.
21:26Then why'd you seem more excited last year
21:29when you got a seven-arm in a box?
21:33I'm sorry.
21:37It's just suddenly there's this chance
21:39that my calling's the wrong number,
21:42and it's just freaking me out a little.
21:46That's understandable.
21:48What if I have lost my power?
21:51You lived a long time without it.
21:53You can do it again.
21:55I guess.
21:58But what if I can't?
22:01I've seen too much.
22:03I know what goes bump in the night.
22:06Not being able to fight it.
22:09What if I just hide under my bed,
22:11all scared and helpless?
22:13Or what if I just become pathetic,
22:16sitting in a player's home,
22:18talking people's ears off about my glory days,
22:20showing them Mr. Pointy, the steak I had bronzed?
22:23Buffy, you can never be helpless or boring,
22:26not even if you tried.
22:30I won't be so sure.
22:36Before I was the singer, I was...
22:41Well, I don't want to say shallow,
22:45but let's say a certain person,
22:47who will remain nameless,
22:49we'll just call her Spordilia,
22:51looked like a classical philosopher next to me.
22:56Angel, if I'm not the Slayer,
22:59what do I do?
23:01What do I have to offer?
23:04Why would you like me?
23:09I saw you before you became the Slayer.
23:14What?
23:16I watched you.
23:18I saw you called.
23:22It was a bright afternoon out in front of your school.
23:27You walked down the steps.
23:31And I loved you.
23:35Why?
23:39Because I could see your heart.
23:45You held it before you for everyone to see,
23:49and I worried that it would be bruised or torn.
23:53And more than anything in my life,
23:55I wanted to keep it safe.
23:59To warm it with my own.
24:09That's beautiful.
24:15Partaken literally, incredibly gross.
24:19I was just thinking that too.
24:45Ah, you're up.
24:47I was afraid I drained you too much.
24:49I do that sometimes.
24:55Ever have a tune you can't get out of your head,
24:58keeps playing over and over and over?
25:03Drives me nuts.
25:19That is my spare.
25:35It's a game, you know?
25:37We're not gonna play by their rules,
25:40but that doesn't mean we're not gonna play.
25:45Why don't you call your friend in here?
25:47We'll discuss it over dinner.
26:05Quentin?
26:14Quentin?
26:38Hello?
26:41Quentin?
26:43Help.
27:10Quentin?
27:40Quentin?
28:10Mmm.
28:14Hey, sweet girl.
28:16How much for a lap dance for me and my buddy?
28:31Walk me home, Angel.
28:33No, I'm fine.
28:35I can take care of myself.
28:40Hummers.
28:42They turn off.
28:44I like guys that can remember the lyrics.
28:48You know, I wish I could,
28:50but my mind just isn't what it used to be.
28:53Let me go, please.
28:55You didn't say please.
28:57No! Help me!
28:59Somebody, please!
29:01Help! Help me, please!
29:04Somebody!
29:07Somebody, please help me!
29:10Help me!
29:36Stop! Please, I need help!
29:40Please, stop!
29:43Quentin!
29:45Quentin!
30:10When I hit him,
30:12my heart just broke and it hurt so much.
30:16I can't be just a person.
30:19I can't be helpless like that.
30:22Giles, please, we have to figure out what's happening to me.
30:36It's an organic compound
30:39of muscle relaxants and adrenal suppressors.
30:48The effect is temporary.
30:51You'll be yourself again in a few days.
30:58You?
31:02It's a test, Buffy.
31:05It's given to the Slayer once she...
31:09if she reaches her 18th birthday.
31:14The Slayer is disabled
31:18and then entrapped with a vampire foe
31:22whom she must defeat in order to pass the test.
31:29The vampire you would have faced
31:33has escaped.
31:36His name is Zachary Kralik.
31:40As a mortal,
31:42he murdered and tortured more than a dozen women
31:46before he was committed to an asylum for the criminally insane.
31:50When, however...
31:53You bastard.
31:55All this time, you saw what it was doing to me.
31:59All this time, and you didn't say a word.
32:02I wanted to.
32:04Liar.
32:05In matters of tradition and protocol,
32:07I must answer to the council.
32:10My role in this was very specific.
32:14I was to administer the injections
32:17and to direct you to the old boarding house in Prescott Lane.
32:21I can't. I can't hear this.
32:24Buffy, please.
32:26Buffy, please.
32:32Who are you?
32:35How can you do this to me?
32:38I am deeply sorry, Buffy, and you have to understand...
32:41If you touch me, I'll kill you.
32:47You have to listen to me.
32:49Because I've told you this, the test is invalidated.
32:53You will be safe now, I promise you.
32:56Now, whatever I have to do to deal with Kralik...
33:00and to win back your trust...
33:02You stuck a needle in me.
33:04You poisoned me.
33:09What's going on?
33:12Oh, God. Is the world ending?
33:15I have to research a paper on Bosnia for tomorrow,
33:18but if the world's ending, I'm not going to bother.
33:24You can't walk home alone, Buffy. It isn't safe.
33:31I don't know you.
33:36Did something take her memory?
33:38He's Giles.
33:40Giles.
33:43He hangs out here a lot.
33:47Cordelia, could you please drive me home?
33:51Of course.
33:55But if the world doesn't end, I'm going to need a note.
34:20Buffy?
34:29Mother.
34:50Mother.
35:21Mother.
35:39Mother.
35:44May I call you Mother?
35:47Was a person with no self-respect of her own.
35:50So, she tried to take mine.
35:55Ten years old, she had the scissors.
35:57You wouldn't believe what she did with those.
36:03But she's dead to me now.
36:07Mostly because I killed and ate her,
36:11but also because I know
36:14I won't be alone much longer.
36:17I'll have your daughter.
36:20I won't kill her, I'll just make her like me.
36:24Different.
36:27She'll go to sleep,
36:29and when she wakes up,
36:31your face will be the first thing she eats.
36:40I have a problem with mothers.
36:42I'm aware of that.
37:12Mother.
37:42Mother.
38:12Mother.
38:14Mother.
38:41Just trying to reach you.
38:43I was on watch over at a boarding house.
38:45Then you know what's happened.
38:48Yes.
38:50He's killed Hobson and made Blair one of his own.
38:53Your perfectly controlled test
38:57seems to have spun rather impressively out of control, don't you think?
39:05Changes nothing.
39:07Well, then allow me.
39:09I told Buffy everything.
39:14That is in direct opposition to the council's orders.
39:17Yes.
39:19Interestingly, I don't give a rat's arse about the council's orders.
39:22There will be no test.
39:24The test has already begun.
39:26Your slayer entered the field of play about ten minutes ago.
39:30Why?
39:31I don't know.
39:33I returned there just as she entered.
39:36The Giles leave no business...
39:38This is not business.
39:43No.
40:13No.
40:39No.
40:44No.
41:03Hide and seek.
41:06Hide and seek.
41:12Hide and seek.
41:32Why did you come to the dark of the woods?
41:37To bring all these sweets to Grandmother's house?
41:54Oh, no, no. Just a little lower, right there.
41:57Oh, yes, yes.
42:01Oh!
42:03Thank you very much.
42:30Yes.
43:00No.
43:30No.
44:01No.
44:04If you stray from the path, you will lose your way.
44:09I won't take it all.
44:11I'll take it all.
44:13No.
44:30No.
44:35No!
44:49Dorothy?
44:53Dorothy, we have to go.
44:57Where are they?
45:00Where are they?
45:26Oh.
45:30You don't seem to understand your place in all of this.
45:36Do you have any idea...
45:40Oh, my.
45:42What have you...
45:44My pills?
45:56No. No.
45:59If I was at full slayer power, I'd be punning right about now.
46:03No! No!
46:06No!
46:16Buffy, thank God you're okay.
46:19Oh, that man.
46:23I can't get these. They're too tight.
46:25Can't you just...
46:27Not right now.
46:29Maybe there's some clippers around.
46:32All right.
46:54Congratulations. You passed.
46:58You exhibited extraordinary courage and clear-headedness in battle.
47:03The council is very pleased.
47:06Do I get a gold star?
47:09I understand that you're upset.
47:11You understand nothing.
47:14You set that monster loose, and he came after my mother.
47:18You think the test was unfair.
47:21I think you better leave town before I get my strength back.
47:27We're not in the business of fair, Miss Summers.
47:30We're fighting a war.
47:32You're waging a war. She's fighting it. There is a difference.
47:35Mr. Giles, if you don't mind...
47:37The test is done. We're finished.
47:39Not quite.
47:41She passed. You didn't.
47:44The slayer is not the only one who must perform in this situation.
47:49I've recommended to the council, and they've agreed,
47:52that you be relieved of your duties as watcher immediately.
47:56You're fired.
48:00On what grounds?
48:02Your affection for your charge
48:04has rendered you incapable of clear and impartial judgment.
48:09You have a father's love for the child,
48:13and that is useless to the cause.
48:17It would be best if you had no further contact with the slayer.
48:22I'm not going anywhere.
48:24I didn't expect you would adhere to that.
48:27However, if you interfere with the new watcher
48:30or countermand his authority in any way,
48:33you will be dealt with.
48:35Are we clear?
48:37We're very clear.
48:41Congratulations again.
48:46Bite me.
48:49Yes.
48:51Well...
48:53Colourful girl.
49:54I can't believe Giles was fired.
49:57How could Giles get fired?
49:59So, how did you manage to kill Kralik?
50:02Oh, she was very clever.
50:05You go ahead and tell it, dear. You tell it better.
50:08Now, when you say fired, do you mean fired?
50:12You're not cruising past that concept any time soon, are you?
50:16Well, it's just... I mean, he's been fired.
50:19He's unemployed. He's between jobs.
50:23Giles isn't going anywhere, Will.
50:25He's still a librarian.
50:27Okay, but I'm writing an angry letter.
50:30You know, nothing's really gonna change.
50:32The important thing is that I kept up my special birthday tradition
50:36of gut-wrenching misery and horror.
50:39Bright side to everything?
50:42I'll just feel better when I get my strength back.
50:46Give you a hand with that, little lady?
50:51You're loving this far too much.
50:54Admit it. Sometimes you just need a big, strong man.
51:05Oh, Will, give me a hand with that?
51:16CHEERING AND APPLAUSE
51:46Grr! Arrgh!