Traci Lords on Howard Stern (2000)
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00:00So Tracy, start off, tell me what brings you down to the show today.
00:14I'm here to promote my new series on the Sci-Fi Channel called First Wave.
00:18It starts airing in January.
00:20And, I mean, do you know Howard?
00:22I'm a huge fan of his.
00:24I actually did a voice in his cartoon.
00:26I believe it was called Doomsday.
00:27Oh really?
00:28I did it about nine months ago and I never really got a chance to thank him for it.
00:31Oh wow, so you've had some dealings with him?
00:34Yes, a little more.
00:36And what were they like?
00:38I never actually met him in person.
00:41I did my portion of it in Los Angeles and he was in New York.
00:45But he's quite a character. I look forward to meeting him.
00:48Now, tell me what you're expecting today.
00:51Nothing.
00:52You're not expecting anything from Howard or the show?
00:54No.
00:55Nervous about going in there?
00:56No.
00:57No?
00:58No.
00:59Not at all?
01:00He's a charming, lovely man.
01:04I'm sure we'll have a really good chat.
01:06Do you have anything that you don't want to talk about?
01:11Is this going to be a tough interview for you?
01:13No.
01:14No?
01:15A lot of no's going on.
01:16I mean, we'll see.
01:17If he wants to make it tough, I guess it will be.
01:19I'll have to beat him into submission.
01:21You think you can take him?
01:23I don't know that anyone can take Howard.
01:27But physically, you think you can take him?
01:29Oh, definitely.
01:31Definitely? You're tougher than him?
01:32Oh, yeah.
01:33Yeah, it's the ninja street fighting.
01:36All right, cool. Well, good luck in there.
01:38Thank you so much.
01:39We'll see you in a couple minutes then.
01:40Okay.
01:41All right, good luck.
01:42Tracy Lourdes has got an incredible background.
01:45What a story.
01:46I've always wondered how she feels about her background.
01:48I know she never much liked me, but I guess she's willing to come in now.
01:51She's promoting something.
01:52She's got the...
01:54What if she didn't like you?
01:56She said stuff about me in the past that said I wasn't a great guy,
02:00but that's all right.
02:01You don't have to think I'm great to come on the show.
02:02If you've got an interesting story, I'm always happy to speak to Tracy Lourdes,
02:06who has a new hair color.
02:08Yeah, she's not blonde anymore.
02:09It's red.
02:10It's a redhead.
02:11Striking red hair.
02:14I remember when Tracy Lourdes was on Melrose Place,
02:17because I used to watch that show every week.
02:19At last we meet.
02:20At last, my darling.
02:22So you don't like me?
02:23I never got a chance.
02:24What are you talking about?
02:25I never got a chance.
02:26Wait a second.
02:27Hold on.
02:28Go ahead.
02:29I never got a chance to thank you for Doomsday.
02:30Oh, yeah, right.
02:31Tracy did a voice on the Doomsday cartoon, which by the way...
02:34So even though she didn't like you, you gave her work.
02:37It's not that I don't like him.
02:39It's that I've been quoted as saying that you are the enemy of all women.
02:42But I'm not.
02:43I said it as a joke.
02:44I figured you were.
02:45I figured you were the enemy of all women.
02:47But no, in all seriousness, I remember Melrose Place.
02:50You did that.
02:51Yeah.
02:52That was one of the big breaks.
02:53It was a big break.
02:54I'm sure it was.
02:55It was about seven years ago now.
02:56Yeah.
02:57And it was one of the highest rated Melrose Places, actually.
03:00The four episodes you were in.
03:01You were only in four, right?
03:02No.
03:03I was actually in six.
03:04Oh, in six.
03:05I was doing Roseanne at the same time, so I was moonlighting.
03:07I was going from Melrose Place to Roseanne.
03:09It was really sort of chaotic time.
03:11It's pretty hard to get a career started once you've done porn.
03:15And you've been fighting that whole thing ever since.
03:18But getting back to me and you, here's what you said about me.
03:21And I don't hold a grudge.
03:22I don't care.
03:23I've often said, you don't have to like me to do the show.
03:25Right.
03:26But you know I love you, right?
03:28I don't know that.
03:29Oh, come on, Howard.
03:30You loved me a long time.
03:32All right.
03:33Here's what you said.
03:34This was in an interview a couple of years ago in Details Magazine.
03:37You were asked who you would rather sleep with, Rush Limbaugh or Howard Stern.
03:42Now, come on.
03:43And you said you would rather die.
03:45Now, you know what?
03:47At least you're honest.
03:49You know what?
03:50Now, come on.
03:51As ugly as he is, I think I'm pretty ugly, too.
03:53Nobody wants to die that much.
03:55Yeah.
03:56You don't.
03:57Tell the truth, though.
03:58You take it seriously?
03:59Did you read that?
04:00Of course I do.
04:01That's a guy.
04:02Listen, all we have is how women evaluate us.
04:04First, I mean, Rush is just heinous.
04:06And by the way, that's not an original answer.
04:08Every woman thinks that.
04:09I always thought that it turned you on when women kind of gave you a hard time.
04:13No.
04:14That doesn't.
04:15No.
04:16I got enough hard time in my life with this face.
04:17I don't need more hard times.
04:18I didn't have any easy upbringing with this face.
04:20Oh, come on.
04:21No, I was not a sex object.
04:23You, on the other hand, when you were 10 years old, you already were fully developed.
04:27Yes, I was.
04:28And you said that's the root of your problem, that you were confused sexually because you were a woman but a child.
04:32And all these hormones were coursing through your 10-year-old body.
04:35It's really confusing when you're 10 and you walk down the street and you've got the 16, 17-year-old boys and, you know, men, 25-year-old men.
04:42Paying attention.
04:43Well, screaming at you and, you know, whooping it up and the catcalls and the whole thing.
04:47But you had the classic bad childhood because you had the father that abandoned you who never – you're still not in touch with your father.
04:52You don't know him.
04:53No.
04:54Actually, about, oh, I don't know, two years ago, I thought that it was time for me to stop looking for my daddy.
04:59Right.
05:00So I went and wrote my father a letter and reconnected with him and nothing had changed really.
05:06He was still distant and not interested.
05:08Yeah.
05:09It's never going to change.
05:10But you know what?
05:11That's okay now.
05:12Right.
05:13It's because –
05:14Have you done therapy?
05:15Right.
05:16It's not some, you know, big mystery to me.
05:18But when you're 10 years old, it's a mystery.
05:19Absolutely.
05:20Yeah.
05:21And even when you're 20 years old –
05:22And you sort of blame yourself.
05:23Right.
05:24Absolutely.
05:25You do.
05:26Well, that's classic.
05:27The kid thinks it's my fault daddy's not here.
05:28There must be something wrong with me.
05:29You're 10 years old.
05:32Your body develops.
05:33Your dad's not around.
05:35It's classic, I guess, Freudian where you say, well, I spent my life looking for my dad through men.
05:40The love you didn't get.
05:41Absolutely.
05:42That's right.
05:43So it's pretty classic.
05:45You want that male attention.
05:46You want that validation.
05:47And you'll do anything to get it.
05:49It's still important to you, you think, to have – I don't know who your boyfriend is now.
05:52Do you have a boyfriend?
05:53I don't have a boyfriend.
05:54Yeah.
05:55You've dated some famous dudes and stuff.
05:56She has.
05:57She's dated some famous guys.
05:59Not really.
06:00No.
06:01I'll give you your resume.
06:02Oh, come on.
06:03And then I want to get back to the Rush Limbaugh thing because I got to admit –
06:05If I had a dollar for every guy that said he dated me –
06:08All right.
06:09I'll tell you who I have.
06:10All right.
06:11Let's see.
06:12Let's find out if any of these guys really did.
06:14Okay.
06:15Okay.
06:16We can play that.
06:17All right.
06:18Let's see.
06:19Howard Stern.
06:20Well, I know you went out with the actor –
06:21No.
06:22No.
06:23Me, you never went out with.
06:24I know the actor John Enos you went out with.
06:25Yeah.
06:26That was like a real boyfriend.
06:27Yeah.
06:28It was the time of the Great Sickness.
06:29No, I'm kidding.
06:30You're not into him anymore.
06:31Was that another case of you trying to find your father through a man?
06:33No.
06:34You know, Joyce –
06:35Who is John Enos?
06:36He's an actor.
06:37What has he been in?
06:38I've met him a few times, actually.
06:40I think he was going out with Heidi Fleiss for a while because I met him at some party
06:43and Heidi Fleiss was there, but I don't even know if that's true.
06:45I know the name, but I can't put a face to it.
06:48He's a big, muscular dude.
06:50He's a really, really charming, sexy, demented, in a way, individual.
06:59And, yeah, we had a good time together.
07:01A couple of years.
07:02I have nothing bad to say about John.
07:04It was what it was.
07:05It ran its course, and I was finished.
07:07You broke up over his dog killing your cat?
07:09Yeah, that'll do it.
07:10I do remember that story, yeah.
07:12Why, because he was not sympathetic?
07:14I broke up because he was just – well, that was a major thing.
07:18He took the dog son.
07:19He was irresponsible, and he was a kid, and I got tired of dating a little boy.
07:22Right.
07:23You wanted a man, someone who you felt could perhaps give you the security you've never had.
07:27Get his dog under control.
07:28Emotional security.
07:29Well, I wanted somebody that was present and that was a grown-up, and he wasn't.
07:33Right.
07:34So, you realized that maybe you were just more physically attracted to him than you were in terms of emotional needs.
07:39Well, you know, he was a really lovely accessory.
07:41He was.
07:42Right.
07:43He looked good.
07:44Yeah, he looked good.
07:45And he probably was a good lover.
07:46He looks like a good lover.
07:47I wouldn't say that.
07:48In fact, it says here, the two of you –
07:50Crazy!
07:51The two of you were so in love at one point that you were once heard having sex in the bathroom of a small L.A. restaurant.
07:58True or false?
07:59No, but it sounds good.
08:00It sounds like you might do that.
08:01No, I wouldn't.
08:02You wouldn't?
08:03Absolutely not.
08:04Do people think you're loose sexually because you did some porno?
08:06Absolutely.
08:07And have you fought against that?
08:08In other words, when a guy goes out with you, does he right away think, oh, you're going to be wild in the sack?
08:13It would be really stupid for me to fight against that.
08:14I'll tell you why.
08:15Why?
08:16I never have to do another bad thing in my life because everyone just thinks I am.
08:18Yeah, but there's nothing wrong with you being a sexual woman now.
08:22Just because you did porno and you fought against that and you went and made a career for yourself,
08:26there's still nothing wrong with you having sex in the bathroom with your boyfriend.
08:29Forget the dating part.
08:31Did they have the pull-out couch already out when you'd go to get a job at some of these places?
08:36No.
08:37You know, the one thing that I have honestly never, knock on wood, had a problem with is the casting couch in Hollywood.
08:43Right.
08:44I think, fortunately for me, men fear me.
08:46Right.
08:47Ken works here.
08:48I believe that.
08:49I think that they're afraid I'll break it or something.
08:52But to me, I would think, I would think that, now hear me out on this.
08:58Let's say I was going out with you and we're having sex.
09:01And I said, you know what?
09:02I really love her.
09:03She's great.
09:04But I want to tell her how much I want her.
09:05I want to tell her, you know, how sexy she is.
09:07I want to tell her, you know, I want to F you in the bathroom and all that kind of stuff.
09:11Then you're going to be thinking, oh, he thinks I'm a porno star so he's saying all this stuff.
09:17But that's something I would say to any girl I was into.
09:20I would talk dirty to any girl that I'm into.
09:22So with you, it's a whole mind game.
09:23Maybe you ought to get to know her.
09:24No, but there's something you have to know.
09:25I'm a very, you know, sexual person.
09:28Yeah.
09:29But the difference is that I'm a grown woman now.
09:31Right.
09:32I'm not a little kid.
09:33I don't have any hangups about sex.
09:34But if I said to you.
09:35I quite frankly love sex.
09:36Right.
09:37I just don't do it with everyone anymore.
09:38Right.
09:39But if I said it to you, you know, if I started talking dirty to you.
09:42I would say.
09:43You'd think I was doing it because you're Tracy Lourdes.
09:45No, absolutely not.
09:46I mean, it would depend on the person.
09:47Yeah.
09:48I think I'm a really good person about just being able to tell when
09:50something's BS and when something's real.
09:52Right.
09:53Okay.
09:54It would depend on the delivery.
09:55But I mean, also, if a person meets you and says, you know, I want to
09:57fuck you.
09:58Oh, I mean.
09:59You look very you out, baby.
10:01She said the F word.
10:03You just said the F word.
10:04Honey, you better get to your vibrating chair.
10:07Oh, my God.
10:08If somebody says I want to make love to you in the bathroom when they
10:11just meet you.
10:13Now.
10:14You know, it's just about your reputation.
10:16That's right.
10:17That's right.
10:18Now.
10:19I mean, it's interesting because especially now with my hair red, a
10:22lot of times people don't even know who I am.
10:25Really?
10:26I mean, I'm doing this series called First Wave in Vancouver right
10:28now.
10:29Right.
10:30You're going to be on the Sci-Fi Network.
10:31That's right.
10:32And this is a Francis Ford Coppola production.
10:33Yeah.
10:34And when I went and auditioned for this show back in February, the
10:36creator of our show, Chris Brancato, had no idea who I was, what I
10:40was.
10:41I mean, when he looked at the sheet after it auditioned, he said, oh,
10:43my God, this is Tracy Lourdes.
10:46But I mean, out of like, you know, the dozens of girls that he'd seen
10:49that day, he didn't know which one was Tracy Lourdes.
10:51Didn't you think that after you got out of the whole porno thing that
10:54maybe you should have changed your name from Tracy Lourdes?
10:56I tried to.
10:57And what happened?
10:58It wouldn't work?
10:59Well, I was modeling.
11:00I was working in Los Angeles and I was doing, you know, legitimate
11:02modeling.
11:03Right.
11:04And I'd gotten a commercial for a Japanese company.
11:06And then they threatened to sue me and my agency because they said,
11:09you know, false representation, there was a morality issue, blah,
11:13blah, blah, blah, blah.
11:14So it was one of those things of damned if you do, damned if you
11:16don't.
11:17Did you ever want a stance of, OK, here I am.
11:19You either like me and or you don't.
11:21You want to use me or you don't.
11:23Did it ever get so bad that you wanted to kill yourself?
11:25Absolutely.
11:26It did.
11:27Right.
11:28Because I would think that, hey, you're saying, Jesus, I might have
11:30been able to be a legitimate model.
11:31I might have been able to be a legitimate actress.
11:33I was a kid.
11:34I made a mistake.
11:35And now they won't let me forget.
11:36Absolutely.
11:37And then you say there's no way out.
11:38We forget.
11:39You still haven't let you forget.
11:40No, even though you've done some legitimate stuff.
11:43I'm convinced it'll be like carved on my gravestone.
11:47Why not embrace it then?
11:48Well, I don't know that I'm at a place where I can just say, isn't
11:52this wonderful?
11:53Because it wasn't all wonderful.
11:55But I am in a place where I can say, this is what I did.
11:58And I think that shame is the most toxic thing any person could have.
12:02You're right.
12:03And I'm not ashamed of that.
12:04You're right.
12:05Because as a matter of fact, it's like you do one thing in your life
12:07and that's the fun.
12:08Especially when you're a kid.
12:09And you're a kid.
12:10Yeah.
12:11And you're a teen.
12:12And all of a sudden, it's like, oh, my God.
12:13Every guy who ever looks at me is going to see me as a porno star,
12:15even though I'm not one.
12:16I was a child.
12:17Yeah.
12:18And it's always going to be that way.
12:19Everyone's going to have in the back of their mind, I'm Tracy Lourdes,
12:21the porno star.
12:22Can a nice man love me because he's going to be thinking he can't take
12:25me home to his mother?
12:26You know what I mean?
12:27It's got to be there.
12:28The stigma.
12:29Yeah.
12:30It's absolutely, you know, it'll drive you crazy.
12:34It would drive me crazy if I really kind of like left it there.
12:37When you walk into a room, do you feel that?
12:39Do you feel that people are going, oh, man, they're all saying I'm Tracy
12:42Lourdes, a porno star, and I'm not a porno star.
12:44That's not who I am.
12:45No.
12:46I mean, I try not to read things into what people think of me.
12:48Right.
12:49We all have our, you know, we want to be liked.
12:51We care what people think.
12:52But at some level, it's like people are going to want to see me, want to
12:56meet me, and like me for, you know, a variety of reasons.
12:59Right.
13:00Some people know me because of my music career.
13:02Some people will know me because of sci-fi, the network, First Wave.
13:06But most people will know you because of porn.
13:08Porn.
13:09Even though it was a decade ago.
13:11Right.
13:12It was half my life ago now.
13:13And people, they love a topic.
13:15They love a label.
13:16Right.
13:17And if I get to do nothing else, the one thing that I would love to do is
13:20make a new label for myself.
13:21Because I got to admit, even like me sitting here, I'm saying, oh, yeah,
13:24Tracy Lourdes is coming in.
13:25Like right away that means, oh, man, she's going to be loose.
13:27Oh, right away that means, oh, man, she was a porno star.
13:30She must be disturbed because she became a porno star at such a young age.
13:33But that's not fair, is it?
13:34It's not fair.
13:35But it's also not only that aspect.
13:37It's like, oh, well, geez, that's such a, you know, everybody's fascinated
13:43because porn stars are usually porn stars when you meet them.
13:46You're an ex.
13:48And, you know, everybody thinks, wow, but she did that.
13:51You know, wow.
13:52I mean, I wonder what's going on with her.
13:55You know, it's sort of like a mystery.
13:57You're a mystery.
13:58You've got to prove to people you're not disturbed.
14:00Well, I think I was disturbed at the time, Howard.
14:03Yeah, absolutely.
14:04And we don't think anybody can be cured, right?
14:06Right.
14:07Actually, you being normal now is fascinating.
14:09Yeah.
14:10Am I normal?
14:11Yeah, you're pretty normal.
14:12I would think you're normal.
14:13I think you're a very pleasant person, nice person.
14:15Do you get invitations to, like, the White House?
14:18Or can political people not be seen with you?
14:21What is going on?
14:22You cannot win.
14:23Yeah, that's right.
14:24You could not go to the White House.
14:26Like, I couldn't go to the White House.
14:27Well, I'm afraid of the scandal at White House.
14:29Yeah, right.
14:30It's true.
14:31The president might really come on to you.
14:32Then what would I do?
14:33All right, so you also, I was talking about guys you dated.
14:35You dated Rob Camiletti, Cher's old boyfriend.
14:38No, I did not.
14:39No?
14:40No.
14:41It says here, dated Rob Camiletti.
14:42He made it on me once.
14:43The bagel guy who used to date Cher.
14:44See, that's a date.
14:45He made it on me.
14:46Right.
14:47No.
14:48And let's see.
14:49He was in a film I was in with Crystal Bernard,
14:52Movie of the Week, about, I don't know, five or six years ago.
14:55So maybe you haven't, aside from Joe Lieberman, the vice president.
14:58Oh, you haven't?
14:59If presidents are candidates.
15:00No, I don't know.
15:02All right, so anyway, the point I'm making is, is that,
15:07let's get back to the Rush Limbaugh comment.
15:09Because I want to know this.
15:11When asked whether or not, well, wait a second.
15:13I have to clear this up.
15:14Okay.
15:15And you don't have to lie and tell me you would still make love to me over Rush Limbaugh.
15:17But the fact of the matter is, you said,
15:20I would rather die than have sex with either one of you.
15:23Either one.
15:24Either one.
15:25Now, I'm not saying I'm a good looking man.
15:27Sometimes I'm a drama queen.
15:28I'm an actress.
15:29Right, that's true.
15:30But you have to admit, on some level, I'm better looking than Rush Limbaugh.
15:34Absolutely.
15:35At least I look a little younger.
15:36More desirable.
15:37A little more desirable than him.
15:39And you know, Howard, I really believe you'd probably be a blast in bed.
15:42Yes.
15:43Because you've just got such a mouth on you.
15:45Exactly.
15:46I have a lot to say.
15:47I could certainly talk you into something.
15:49Something weird.
15:50And I've always said, if you can get in my head, you can get in my pants.
15:53Really?
15:54Oh, yeah.
15:55Honey, I'm ready.
15:56Let's go.
15:57Let's do it right now.
15:58Right on the couch.
15:59So, okay, so your father leaves you at a young age.
16:01You develop at ten years old.
16:02Where's my mother?
16:03Your mother's like in the ozone.
16:04Isn't that correct?
16:05Well, it wasn't that my mother was not there, but she wasn't physically there.
16:10She was, you know, I've got three sisters, so she had four small kids.
16:14And, you know, was working and going to school to get her degree.
16:17So she was just never there.
16:19It was always like the older sister taking care of the rest of us.
16:21Yes, and I still say most people are not equipped to have kids.
16:23Here she is, ten years old.
16:25She has a beautiful body.
16:26She looks great.
16:27And nobody's dealing with this.
16:28So you're explaining to her that you're becoming a sexual being.
16:30And also you have a tragedy.
16:32You get raped at ten years old.
16:34Yeah, that's, yeah.
16:35Right.
16:36So that's got to blow your mind.
16:37And was your mom there for you on that occasion?
16:39No, I didn't tell anyone.
16:40Oh.
16:41Because you were afraid you were the guilty one, I bet.
16:43Yeah, I did.
16:44Well, that's the tragic case.
16:45You know, that changed my life completely.
16:47Wow.
16:48Because you don't think anybody cares.
16:49Well, I thought that, you know, that's what sex was.
16:51It was violence.
16:52So it makes perfect sense that I would become a porn star at 15.
16:55And in some odd way, you're starting to get attention from men.
16:57And that's the father you never had.
16:59Yeah, this is what men want.
17:00And who is this guy?
17:01Is he someone that to this day you know where he is and know what he did to you?
17:05No, but, you know, my driver told me that he would hunt him down and put him in the trunk.
17:09Really?
17:10When did he tell you that?
17:11Today?
17:12Yeah.
17:13Really?
17:14So I'm thinking.
17:15How did he know about this?
17:16Everybody knows everything.
17:17Oh, they do?
17:18It's frightening.
17:19Really?
17:20Well, you knowing the comment about, you know.
17:22Rush Limbaugh.
17:23Rush Limbaugh.
17:24Well, of course that would get back to me.
17:25But let me understand something.
17:27So when something like this happens, is it a neighbor or a friend of the family?
17:31Or is it a stranger?
17:32A cousin?
17:33No, he was a boy that was probably two grades ahead of me.
17:35Oh.
17:36And he forced you to do this?
17:37Yeah.
17:38And you couldn't tell anyone and in some odd way you thought it was your fault because you're so developed?
17:43Yeah, completely.
17:44Wow.
17:45And you've never gone after him?
17:46No.
17:47Never confronted him?
17:48No.
17:49Don't have any desire to?
17:51I think I've had the fantasy in my head of what I would say.
17:54But you don't need to.
17:55But I don't really need to at this point now.
17:57Did you ever get curious and find out if he's like a married man now with children of his own?
18:01With kids or whatever, yeah.
18:02Oh, I'd love to know that.
18:03It would take too much energy.
18:04And I quite frankly don't really care about him anymore.
18:07That's good.
18:08You know, so it's something.
18:09So you think it's really behind you?
18:10Oh, yeah.
18:11Have you gone to a psychotherapy?
18:12Oh, yeah.
18:13I think everyone should be assigned a therapist at birth.
18:16Right.
18:17And you've gotten, like it had to be a major issue.
18:18Especially actors.
18:19Yeah.
18:20We need lots of them.
18:21Lots of therapists.
18:22But wasn't it a major issue for you your whole life?
18:24Yes.
18:25And that somehow you let go of it through therapy?
18:28I wouldn't say just through therapy.
18:30Obviously, I acted out a lot.
18:32Right.
18:33So you went through the gamut.
18:34I mean, you freaked out.
18:35Besides the porn.
18:36It was sex, drugs, and rock and rolling.
18:37I hate myself and I'm going to kill myself and who cares?
18:39What kind of drugs were you doing?
18:40Oh, everything.
18:41And you would do any guy you met or were you like somewhat discriminating?
18:45I don't really know.
18:46There were just too many men?
18:48There were.
18:49I've had my share of men.
18:50Too many men.
18:51And was it enjoyable at the time or not even enjoyable?
18:53Well, you know what?
18:54I like sex.
18:55But how conscious I was at that period of my life?
18:57Not very.
18:58Right.
18:59And having sex with somebody who you barely know, is that satisfying in some way?
19:03I think that's ridiculous.
19:05You think it's ridiculous now?
19:06Now.
19:07But then you didn't?
19:08No, I guess I didn't.
19:09But it wasn't even like sex.
19:10I mean, if she's inebriated and traumatized and all of those other things, she's just there.
19:16Right.
19:17She's just being used.
19:18What were you doing?
19:19Were you doing coke or heroin or what?
19:20No, I was never really into heroin, thank God.
19:22Right.
19:23But I was really into coke.
19:24Coke.
19:25Oh, yeah.
19:26I never got into that.
19:27That's the worst one.
19:28I don't know why anyone likes cocaine.
19:29I don't either.
19:30I've tried it.
19:31It's just like you talk total BS and chew your mouth out.
19:33Right.
19:34And it's just a horrible drug.
19:35Yeah, I was going to say, is your nose all right?
19:36Yeah, right.
19:37So why do you think you got into it?
19:38You must have liked it at the time.
19:39Validation.
19:40Right.
19:41I think that I wanted to be accepted anywhere.
19:43In.
19:45Even if it was something, I didn't know anything about porn at 14, 15 years old.
19:48I still thought that it was, I mean, you're talking about the 80s, too.
19:51Right.
19:52It's not what it is now.
19:53Now, I mean, porn stars have billboards on Sunset Boulevard.
19:55It's bizarre.
19:56Right.
19:57When I was doing it, it was really kind of like.
19:59Underground.
20:00Back alley thing.
20:01Right.
20:02Yeah.
20:03They did those things in the valley in California in Sherman Oaks or something.
20:05Right.
20:06I mean, it wasn't.
20:07When you got to Hollywood, though, were you going there to become a model or an actress?
20:11Absolutely.
20:12And then somebody duped you into it?
20:13Absolutely.
20:14Oh, so were you like a runaway?
20:15Yeah.
20:16Yeah.
20:17Okay.
20:18Yeah.
20:19Wow.
20:20Got off the bus and.
20:21It's the story that you've heard so many times and it's absolutely true.
20:22And with all the videotapes you sold, you claim you only made about $50,000 in porn
20:25anyway.
20:26Girls never made money in that.
20:27I don't know if they do now, but.
20:28Think about the billion.
20:29I certainly didn't.
20:30It's a $4 billion a year industry.
20:31Yeah.
20:32Somebody made some money.
20:33That's what I hear.
20:34And none of the women ever make the money.
20:35It's weird.
20:36It is weird.
20:37Although, some of the women now are making money doing personal appearances.
20:40Yeah, but some of those guys we see, they don't look like they have any money either.
20:43What is it, Gary?
20:44I actually have a question because, you know, I think the story is pretty fascinating.
20:47When you got to LA and some guy recruited you, what was the actual move?
20:51Like, did you literally get off the bus and the guy says, hey, you need a place to stay?
20:54No.
20:55What happened was I had run away from home.
20:56I was in, I was, I'm from Ohio, but I'd already gone to Redondo Beach with my mom and my sisters
21:02and I had run away from Redondo Beach and I went to Hollywood and it was this stupid
21:07story of going and sitting on Marilyn Monroe's star and saying, I want to be loved like her.
21:10It was like, that was the person.
21:11Oh, you were.
21:12Yeah, right.
21:13Exactly.
21:14You actually were loved like her.
21:15That was my, that was my thing.
21:16That was what, you know, was in my mind.
21:18And so I was looking through the want ads in the LA Times and I came across an ad for
21:23Models Wanted.
21:24No portfolio, no experience necessary.
21:26Right.
21:27And I called it thinking I'd hit the jackpot and this guy said, sure, I'll help you out.
21:31I'll make you a star.
21:32Right.
21:33You know, I just kind of need to see what your body looks like in a bathing suit.
21:36Right.
21:37I need to see this.
21:38And then it was like, have you ever had champagne before?
21:41Oh.
21:42Have you ever taken a ride in a limo?
21:43Oh.
21:44And I was.
21:45Are you living with the guy after like a week?
21:46Oh, yeah.
21:47Yeah.
21:48And then he's saying to you, hey, why don't you have sex on camera?
21:50Well, that, they, that didn't really happen.
21:52It wasn't really set up that way.
21:54I mean, I was doing.
21:55I wonder how they do it.
21:56Modeling.
21:57I was just really, really intoxicated.
21:58Right.
21:59And there was a camera involved and there was sex involved and I became, like literally,
22:03it was.
22:05So you didn't think you were acting in movies at all?
22:06No, not at first.
22:07I didn't.
22:08And then when you went, then when you saw yourself in the movie, were you shocked?
22:10I never saw myself in the movies.
22:11You never did.
22:12No.
22:13But you knew they were releasing them.
22:14Oh, well, yeah.
22:15Yeah.
22:16I knew.
22:17Oh.
22:18Did you ever get to the point where, like you'd been there for a while and all of a
22:19sudden you saw six months later, you know, the new girl come in and all of a sudden she's
22:22getting courted and you're like being pushed to the side?
22:24No.
22:25No.
22:26Oh, she was hot stuff.
22:27Now, did you lie about your age or did they put you into, tell you to lie about your age?
22:31Oh, I've been lying about my age since I was 10.
22:33Okay.
22:34Me too.
22:35No, just kidding.
22:36I always did.
22:37Me too.
22:38Right.
22:39So, but the guys who did this to you, because you were a kid, did they ever go to jail?
22:45Did they ever, did the cops ever get involved?
22:50The cops did get involved when I was about 18 years old.
22:53Right.
22:54And the thing that always really, quite frankly, pissed me off about the whole thing was that
22:58they had this attitude of we're saving you from pornography, but yet my mother had reported
23:03me as a runaway three years previous and they had a file on me that was about an inch thick
23:09and no one ever did a thing about it.
23:11Think somebody was paid off?
23:12Well, what I think is that it was a political year.
23:14The Mies Commission was going on.
23:16Right.
23:17And I think that a lot of people needed a platform.
23:19This happens all the time with politicians, I'm sorry to say.
23:22There are good politicians and there are quite frankly ones that are really slimy.
23:25Right.
23:26And then, you know, it's like election comes up and everyone wants to suddenly police the
23:30internet.
23:31And everyone wants to suddenly-
23:32So that's why you were saved in a sense over politics.
23:34Yes.
23:35And you know what?
23:36You were a good poster child.
23:37They did me a service.
23:38I'm glad that they did what they did.
23:40I only wish they had done it sooner.
23:42But maybe they-
23:43You could also make the case they could have done it quietly as opposed to making it a
23:46big sensational thing and then your life would have been spared.
23:49You became the target.
23:50The guys who did this to you, we don't know their name.
23:52We only know your name.
23:53Right.
23:54Yeah.
23:55I'm not knocking the FBI.
23:56I'm not knocking, you know, enforcement.
23:58I think that they have a really tough job.
24:00It's really difficult.
24:01To police the world.
24:02Dealing with this kind of crap.
24:03Right.
24:04Policing the world.
24:05I'm just talking about my individual experience.
24:06You think it still goes on today?
24:07It was one that I was impressed with.
24:09Do you think there's still underage people in porn?
24:12I would hope not.
24:13Yeah.
24:14I would think that-
24:15Maybe they aren't in porn, Howard, but there are somewhere.
24:18I would think that the scandal that, you know, that was created by my being underage in porn-
24:23Might have scared everyone.
24:24It really did scare everyone.
24:25Yeah.
24:26And so, if nothing good came out of that, that would be the one thing that, you know,
24:29I'm happy about that.
24:30Did they ever do, like, a TV movie the week of your story?
24:32No, I wasn't-
24:33I'm shocked.
24:34Interested.
24:35Well, I had several offers for that.
24:36I'm kind of shocked.
24:37I always felt like people know enough about me.
24:38Well, you've got to get her permission, Howard.
24:39Yeah.
24:40No, not necessarily.
24:41They do the Joey Buttafuoco story without anybody's permission.
24:43Well.
24:44I'm just shocked.
24:45I'm shocked that actually you haven't done a movie about it.
24:47I think it would be an interesting movie.
24:49I think Joey movies about other things, you know.
24:52Did you ever write a book?
24:53First wave.
24:54Yeah.
24:55Okay.
24:56I'll get to that in a sec.
24:57Did you ever write a book or anything?
24:58No.
24:59Never had any desire?
25:00I've actually thought about it.
25:01I'd read that.
25:02But I don't have the ending yet.
25:03You don't need an ending.
25:04Believe me.
25:05You've got an ending-
25:06You can stop in the middle.
25:07You have an ending to some of the most interesting stuff in your life, and it is interesting and
25:10fascinating to people.
25:11Yeah.
25:12You can stop in the middle.
25:13Because it's all interesting.
25:14It's just an interesting life.
25:15Yeah.
25:16It is at that.
25:17Yeah.
25:18It is.
25:19So, what's your life like now?
25:20You've got the Sci-Fi Channel and the new TV show, First Wave.
25:23My life is incredible.
25:24I mean, I've been-
25:25Where do you live now?
25:26L.A.?
25:27No, I'm in Vancouver, Canada.
25:28You live there?
25:29Yeah.
25:30I've been there for five months doing the show.
25:31Oh, but you just moved there for the show.
25:32Yeah, I did.
25:33Right.
25:34Yeah.
25:35But I was living in Los Angeles in Hancock Park, actually.
25:36Yeah.
25:37Did you sell everything in Los Angeles?
25:38No.
25:39I mean, you still have your home there.
25:40I have my apartment there, and I have my two cats.
25:41Right.
25:42My two Siamese kitties are there.
25:43Right.
25:44And they're all grown up now, which is kind of strange.
25:45And who do you party with?
25:47Do you have show business friends?
25:48I'm not really much of a partier these days.
25:50You don't have any show business friends, famous friends?
25:52No.
25:53Really?
25:54No.
25:55Who do you hang around with?
25:56Really normal people.
25:57My best friend in the world owns a restaurant in Los Angeles.
25:58Right.
25:59And he's great.
26:00Well, who's that?
26:01What restaurant is that?
26:02Mews.
26:03Mews?
26:04Mews Restaurant in Los Angeles on Beverly Boulevard.
26:05Is he married to a famous model or something?
26:07No, he's not.
26:08No.
26:09And is he your boyfriend?
26:10No.
26:11No.
26:12No.
26:13He's definitely not my boyfriend.
26:15So you have friends who love you?
26:16Yes, absolutely.
26:17And the attempt to contact your father was a failure.
26:19You've met him and everything, but it just was a drag.
26:21Actually, I have never physically, you know, met him.
26:24You just wrote him a letter?
26:25I mean, I knew my dad until I was, you know.
26:27What's he doing now?
26:28Does he have another family or something?
26:29I don't know.
26:30He wouldn't answer any of these questions.
26:31What did you write to him?
26:32You say, hey, listen, I want to know about you.
26:33Hey, what's the deal?
26:34Right.
26:35Why did you leave me?
26:36Yeah.
26:37And what did he say?
26:38Did you talk to him on the phone?
26:39He said, I didn't leave you.
26:40You left me.
26:41How did you leave him?
26:43Oh, that was your fault.
26:44He's right about that.
26:45Yeah, it was my fault.
26:46Oh, I see.
26:47So he didn't want to track you down.
26:48Yeah, he can't contact you in another state.
26:49Yeah, I guess he didn't believe in, you know, planes or trains.
26:52Yeah, right.
26:53There was no way to contact you.
26:54Yeah.
26:55And your mom is still alive?
26:56Yes, she is.
26:57And you hang out with her?
26:58My mom is great.
26:59You still have stuff to do with her?
27:00Yeah.
27:01You're okay with her?
27:02It took years.
27:03And what about your sisters?
27:04Are you friendly with them?
27:05My sisters are great.
27:06They're supportive of you?
27:07Yeah, I've got three of them, and they're really intelligent, really successful, really
27:10driven women.
27:11They're so different, all of them.
27:12One's a lawyer, one has an import business, one's a fashion model.
27:16I mean, they're all really great ladies.
27:18Wow.
27:19Oh, that's nice.
27:20And the thing is that acting has gone well for you now.
27:22You've gotten into a legitimate thing, even though it's difficult because of your background.
27:26And first wave is Frances Ford Coppola.
27:29They didn't know it was Tracy Lourdes they were hiring.
27:31You just went in and just auditioned.
27:33Oh, they knew, but they didn't.
27:34I mean, they had the list of the names when you go in, but it was like, you know, pick
27:39me out of the crowd.
27:40Right.
27:41Amongst the girls.
27:42But, I mean, it's Larry Sugar and Chris Brancato and Frances Ford Coppola, and it's filmed
27:46in Vancouver, and it's a one-hour drama.
27:48It's a sexy sci-fi show.
27:50Now, check this out.
27:51It's weekly?
27:52No, yeah, but the creator, Chris Brancato, I understand you're a fan of because he did
27:57Species 2.
27:58Yeah, that's a good movie.
27:59I like that.
28:00It's got that edge of that sexy sci-fi.
28:02And what about when these guys say to you, hey, we need you in a hot outfit, we need
28:06you in a bikini, we need you in this.
28:07Do you get offended by that?
28:08No.
28:09Oh, wait for that.
28:10In this show, this is about a man that believes that aliens have come to the Earth to take
28:14over, and he wants to stop the invasion.
28:15I believe that anyway.
28:16Yeah.
28:17And so my character, actually, I use my family fortune.
28:20I've lost my parents, I've lost everyone I've ever loved, this alien invasion.
28:24I use my family fortune to start an underground militia.
28:28And so I'm like this sexy sort of security.
28:31Yeah, I want to see you in hot outfits.
28:32Yeah.
28:33Are you going to be in hot outfits?
28:34Yes, absolutely.
28:35You are?
28:36I am in hot outfits.
28:37Like little sexy tops and tight leather pants.
28:40Oh, that's good.
28:41And sleek skin.
28:42That's right.
28:43And stiletto heels sometimes, and I wield an Uzi.
28:44Because you've got a hot body.
28:45I mean, we all know that.
28:46You fight world domination.
28:47Yeah.
28:48You have to dress for it.
28:49That's right.
28:50I fight world domination, but it's DKNY militia the whole way.
28:53I like that.
28:54All right, let's go to a couple of phone calls, all right, for Tracy Lords real quick.
29:00First wave is the name of the show.
29:01Go ahead.
29:02Hey, how you doing?
29:03Yo.
29:04Listen, Tracy, you're just fantastic.
29:05Oh, thank you.
29:06I really like what you're saying.
29:07I loved you in Blade.
29:08Oh, thank you.
29:09That was the start of the red hair.
29:10Where did you get this voice?
29:11Uh, my darling, I love you.
29:12Sounds like Bob Guccione or something.
29:13I really like what you're saying.
29:14It's early in the morning for me.
29:15That's a story I remember about you.
29:16You actually did Penthouse when you were underage, and they had to go around from newsstand
29:17to newsstand and rip the pages out of the magazine.
29:18Isn't that true?
29:19I don't know.
29:20I remember hearing that.
29:21Well, Gary told us.
29:22Sir, are you undressed while you're talking to Tracy Lords?
29:23No, I'm not, but I'm dressed.
29:24You sound like you're dressed.
29:25I'm dressed.
29:26I'm dressed.
29:27I'm dressed.
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34:18I was curious, like, if Tracy, you said you always lied about your age and everything.
34:22Why were these guys scummy to do a business with you when they thought you were of age?
34:27I think that, you know, people believe what they want to believe.
34:30I think it very much had a feel of, you know, well, we asked her and she said.
34:35Well, I'll tell you what's scummy.
34:37If the story is true, what Tracy's telling, she went and had a couple of drinks with some
34:41guys, got loaded, they videotaped her and then released it.
34:43Yeah, she was already in the industry before anybody asked.
34:46That's scummy.
34:48That's about as scummy as you get.
34:49Right.
34:50Definitely.
34:51But I would think.
34:52But past that, I mean.
34:53I'm sorry.
34:54What?
34:55What?
34:56Yes, I did.
34:57Absolutely.
34:58Of course she had fake ID.
34:59Yeah, she was a runaway.
35:00Some of these people probably really did think she was overage.
35:01Oh, I don't think they.
35:02I think probably they did think she was overage.
35:03Oh, yeah.
35:04I'm sure they did.
35:05Yeah, I think they thought she was the right age.
35:06I just think that the scummy part of it.
35:07Oh, yeah.
35:08Getting high on drugs and then filming her.
35:09Oh, definitely.
35:10Yeah.
35:11Those initial people were the scummy.
35:12That doesn't sound right to me, man.
35:13But it went on a couple of years past that.
35:14And not that there's anything wrong with it.
35:15Absolutely.
35:16But.
35:17Yeah.
35:18But she says.
35:19It went on for about two and a half years.
35:20It went on for quite a while.
35:21Right.
35:22It was, you know, a period of my life that was really intense.
35:24And it was sex, drugs, and rock and roll.
35:26And you probably had to say to yourself, well, how the hell am I ever going to get a career
35:30going?
35:31I can't get out of it.
35:32So I might as well embrace it for a while.
35:33It's like, you know, I've seen a lot of women do this.
35:35Once you get into something like that, it's really hard to get out.
35:37Yeah.
35:38Tracy, how did the Melrose women treat you?
35:39Were they like mean to you?
35:40They were the best.
35:41Heather Locklear is my favorite.
35:42Let me tell you something about Heather Locklear.
35:43I've hung out with her a few times.
35:44She's the nicest human being.
35:45She really is.
35:46She is sweet.
35:47She is sweet.
35:48I mean, she's nice to everybody.
35:49Were the men coming on to you there?
35:50Excuse me?
35:51Were the men coming on to you?
35:52Were the men coming on to you?
35:53No.
35:54No.
35:55Do you ever go on movie sets where people are mean to you?
35:56Seriously.
35:57Just because you are Tracy Lourdes.
35:58Or snub you.
35:59Are there like legitimate actresses who find that you're, oh, you're not good enough for
36:01them?
36:02No.
36:03I've been really blessed to work with really great people.
36:04I mean, that's what I want to continue to do.
36:06I love doing really good projects and working with really great people.
36:09Most people, I mean, know that it's taken a lot of hard work to get where I am.
36:15And they're smart enough to realize that, hey, maybe we should give her a chance.
36:19So I've been really fortunate that way.
36:21Let's go.
36:22One last call.
36:23Dave, go ahead.
36:24Hey, good morning, Pinocchio.
36:25Hey, Tracy.
36:26That's so mean.
36:27You think you've had a tough life.
36:28You think you've had a tough life.
36:29Look at my nose.
36:30What is it?
36:31And by the way, I beat this guy in a beauty pageant.
36:32Oh, please.
36:33That contest was fixed.
36:34Yeah, fixed.
36:35I can't blame you for not wanting to have sex with Pinocchio over there.
36:39His nose looks like a ram's horn.
36:41It's because you want him.
36:43Exactly.
36:44You know you would have sex with me.
36:46I would.
36:47Listen, last thing.
36:48Quick one.
36:50You know I pay my debts.
36:51A hundred bucks that we have a Subway series.
36:55Who cares?
36:56Nobody cares about betting.
36:57Get out of here.
36:58I'm talking to an actress.
36:59Get out of here.
37:00Oh, no.
37:01Stupid.
37:02Very yuppie.
37:03Who is that?
37:04Our own personal nemesis.
37:05Well, I won't even go into it.
37:07All right.
37:08Tracy, good luck with your show.
37:09First wave.
37:10Thanks for talking to us.
37:11You know, I really do love you.
37:12You do?
37:13Oh.
37:14So you admit that you would make love to me over Rush Limbaugh.
37:15Yes, you know.
37:16I would.
37:17Now, there's a beauty pageant I want to win.
37:18Rush Limbaugh.
37:19You know, I saw Rush Limbaugh on TV the other night on the O'Reilly Report and on Fox.
37:26I love that Fox News channel.
37:28I watch it.
37:29You watch it a lot.
37:30I watch it a lot.
37:31Because you know what they do 24 hours a day?
37:32They just talk about-
37:33Argue about politics.
37:35Who's going to win the presidential election.
37:36I could listen to people.
37:37I don't want to know who's going to win.
37:38I just want to hear people argue.
37:39You like the race.
37:40I like the race.
37:41I love a horse race.
37:43And I love this.
37:44So, I'm watching it and they bring out that idiot, Rush Limbaugh.
37:46The guy must have lost 100 pounds and he still looks fat.
37:49That big dope.
37:50He looks like a big fat pumpkin head.
37:52It looks like if you cut into his head, custard would come out.
37:55He's a fat guy.
37:56No matter how thin he gets.
37:57No matter what happens, he's a fat guy.
37:58Yeah.
37:59Okay.
38:00I guess I got to break.
38:01Okay.
38:02Tracy, great seeing you.
38:04Great meeting you.
38:05Thank you so much.
38:06Thanks for coming in and we'll watch the Sci-Fi Network and we'll be back right after these
38:09words.
38:10See, I told you he was a nice man.
38:16Howard Stern rocks.
38:17So, are you at least glad that Howard was very, very nice to you?
38:20Oh, Howard was wonderful.
38:22You were a little worried there for a little while.
38:24No.
38:25More than anything, this morning when I got here, I was tired.
38:28So, it's this- I think that they do that a lot in television and radio.
38:33They have these really early call times, so people are sort of half conscious.
38:38But I knew that he was going to be really, really smart.
38:41It was really nice that he was as sweet as he was.
38:43Oh, that's good.
38:44So, you had a good time?
38:45Oh, yeah.
38:46Definitely.
38:47I look forward to coming back.
38:48I hope he asks.