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GamingTranscript
00:00If I'm honest, I wish I had something to boast about, but I'm hopeless at everything.
00:05Oh, I suppose that's something to boast about.
00:08Ugh, don't get the password wrong is all I can say.
00:11I wish I could simply charm my exercise books to finish my homework for me.
00:15But it's always so noisy in the common room, and then I can't concentrate,
00:19so I end up just talking to everyone and nothing gets done.
00:22I shall never get my homework done at this rate. I haven't even got to beasts.
00:26She's always showing off about her puff-skin grooming.
00:29Fur like silk. What shine. Ugh, I could be sick.
00:33People who boast are insecure. That's what my mother told me, and she knows everything.
00:38At least that's what she told me.
00:40I tried telling Hecate that someone cast Evanesco on my assignment.
00:44She said if I didn't get it sorted, I'd be the one getting vanished.
00:47She put a bowtruckle under my bed, and I know it was her.
00:51She's looking for trouble, that one. Looking for it.
00:53I'd much prefer it if everyone could simply use all of the common rooms.
00:58I'm not a fan of mine, and frankly I find the decor quite depressing.
01:02My mother sends the foulest owls. I'm talking about the actual owls.
01:06Well, I woke up to one, wriggling its foul little tongue up my nose, it was.
01:11My sister's always wanting quills made of fwooper feathers.
01:15She's always after the latest fad. I've told her, a nib's a nib.
01:18They can't help it if I was having a nightmare.
01:21Serves them right for talking about leather folds right before bed.
01:24There's not one week gone by I haven't had a howler from my mother.
01:27She's doing it deliberately.
01:29It's because I left my room in a mess. I couldn't agree more.
01:32Makes no sense to me why first years don't study Abyssinian shrivel-figs.
01:37Why should they escape the torment?
01:39I should have known better than to buy something from a child walking the streets of Hogsmeade.
01:43Little scallywag.
01:45Gold, they said it was.
01:47More like the work of a leprechaun.
01:48Stuff disappeared in a few hours.
01:51I'm such a moon-mind.
01:52I always feel quite safe in Hogsmeade.
01:54It's your own fault if you come unstuck.
01:56That's what my mother would say.
01:58And certainly keep away from the hogshead.
02:00Most untoward.
02:02They say herbology is the study of magical and mundane plants.
02:05Don't you find it chilly in the greenhouses?
02:08It always surprises me how cool it is.
02:10I'd rather howl him be teaching potions than sharp.
02:13I don't like how often he mentions common poisons.
02:16It's like he's planning something.
02:19What?
02:20It's not implausible.
02:21Professor Howham was carrying some pearl dust the other day.
02:24Obviously, I asked her if it was for a love potion.
02:27Her face just contorted.
02:29You'd think I'd just beat her at gobstones.
02:31If you pay attention, Sharp has plenty of useful advice regarding antidotes.
02:36I think people are too hard on him myself.
02:38I wish teachers wouldn't ask us questions in class.
02:41I'm always tongue-tied.
02:43Unless it's Professor Garlic.
02:44Or I suppose Weasley.
02:46Or an eye.
02:48Thinking about it, it's really just Sharp.
02:50I can't help it if I've never encountered a dangerous beast.
02:54When Howham asked me, I said I once had a canary.
02:57She almost threw me out of class.
02:59I saw her first year get the rhythm wrong once,
03:02trying to get to the Hufflepuff common room.
03:04You've never seen so much laughter.
03:06I still can't believe that girl wrote her essay on shrinking solutions
03:09and thought it would be clever to shrink it before handing it in.
03:12Why would I want to hear what you're good at?
03:14At least you didn't do what that first year did.
03:16Spent hours collecting dittany only to find it was old weeds.
03:19I certainly make sure I stay abreast of my homework.
03:22Teachers don't like it if you fall behind.
03:24Especially Weasley.
03:26I heard that someone cast the Confunder's charm on a Ravenclaw fourth year
03:29so they couldn't answer the riddle.
03:30I've learned almost all of the goblin rebellions off by heart.
03:33You can test me.
03:34Go on, test me.
03:35Sometimes the prefect sits next to me.
03:38Well, one time they did.
03:40In the common room.
03:41Mind you, it was the only seat left.
03:43And I did ask them to.
03:45I think it's a sign when you're the best at something.
03:47Take me, for example.
03:49Hecate said I'd make a wonderful aura.
03:51Imagine.
03:52I've seen the boys looking very sheepish lately.
03:54Do you think we'll learn how to brew Amortentia?
03:57Strongest love potion, they say.
03:59Not that I care, you understand.
04:01I was just wondering.
04:02He's absolutely sweet on me, I'm sure of it.
04:05Every time he's around me, he's crooning at me.
04:07It's like being courted by a manticore.
04:10I think rules against beasts in the dormitories should be enforced.
04:13Just because it was a puff scheme.
04:15I suspect most Slytherins would prefer not to be in a dungeon myself.
04:19And the boys don't make it any easier.
04:21The noise from their dormitory, you'd think they were sleeping next to mandrakes.
04:25Garlic asked me to explain to the class the main use of plants.
04:28I said picking them.
04:30What?
04:30I think Dofindo should be taught in the first year.
04:33Why stave off the mayhem?
04:34We're quite fortunate the school's so close to Hogsmeade.
04:37There's nothing like it in all of Britain, you know.
04:40About the only place that doesn't come with the risk of encountering a muggle.
04:43He said I had a complexion like a hippocampus egg.
04:46Fancy saying that.
04:48I think it's because I don't sleep well.
04:50Obviously the best greenhouse is the one with the dangerous plants.
04:53If I had to pick one shop, it'd be Gladrags.
04:57Mr. Hill is always very helpful, don't you find?
04:59Do you happen to have any valerian sprigs?
05:01I really wanted to have a go at a forgetfulness potion.
05:04Only, I can't remember where I put mine.
05:06It's hardly worth studying for potions.
05:08Unless you're anticipating being poisoned sometime in the near future.
05:11As far as I can see, the only potion worth learning is sleeping draught.
05:15Best timed for History of Magic.
05:17I don't know about demiguises, but Howyn had me on hot bricks the other day,
05:22telling us about her colleague who befriended a griffin.
05:25I put my hand up and said we had a griffin come by our street once and try to get our rabbit.
05:30My sister had to run out after it, throwing stones till it flew off.
05:33I thought Howyn would be impressed, but oh, the glare!
05:37She said you never meddle with dangerous beasts.
05:40If you ask me, she's the dangerous beast.
05:42It's awful if you're sat near someone and they're trying to pass notes about.
05:46Half the time I get the blame and Hecate has no tolerance for that, I can tell you.
05:50Apparently Sharp made quite an example of her.
05:53One could view it as a sort of a punishment if it wasn't for the lake.
05:56I could be locking all you scallywags up in Azkaban one day.
06:00I asked Ronan what he'd recommend for a billywig sting,
06:03and he laughed and said try not to be seen.
06:06I don't find that funny at all.
06:08Nobody can do a hex like me, and I dare you to prove me wrong.
06:12You saw that first deer with the engorged head.
06:15That was me.
06:15I suppose in all fairness, one should be prepared for anything.
06:19It's no wonder Ravenclaws are so clever though, isn't it?
06:22Having to solve things every time you want to go into the common room.
06:26Bit much, I'd say.
06:27My family has a lineage of exemplary flyers.
06:31It's no wonder Splint Witches is desperate for me to buy a broom there.
06:34Showing off is a muggle trait.
06:37You don't see that sort of behaviour in the wizarding world.
06:39My parents visited the school once.
06:42All I can say is thank Merlin it's against school policy to let them in the common room.
06:46Slytherins almost always use the door to the right of the entrance hall.
06:50Slytherins are lucky they get to sleep next to the lake.
06:53Water is so soothing.
06:55Do you think it's possible to spend time with any of the merpeople from the lake?
06:59How are there so many lectures in herbology?
07:02There's always someone snoring in our dormitory.
07:05One of the girls, too.
07:07And she talks in her sleep.
07:08I tried to brew some amortentia once.
07:10It was an awful disaster.
07:13I thought he'd take an interest in me.
07:15We'd have more fun in our dormitory if the prefects would conveniently go on holiday.
07:20My aunt made some amortentia once because she wasn't getting along well with my uncle.
07:24It doesn't seem right to me.
07:26Always encouraging me to keep plenty of Wiganweld potion in my trunk.
07:30My older brother used to terrorise me with a fanged geranium.
07:33It's not the written exam that worries me with herbology.
07:36It's the practical.
07:37All of the shopkeepers like me.
07:39I know they do.
07:40They always put a bit of something extra in the bag for me.
07:43I think they're drawn to my charm.
07:46Also, my parents spend a lot in Hogsmeade.
07:48But I don't think that's it.
07:50You can get all sorts of clothing at Gladrags.
07:53Not just common wear, either.
07:55I've seen rare garments there.
07:57Very powerful, I'd imagine.
07:59I can't say I feel the need for that sort of thing, mind.
08:02I'd be quite content with a new pair of socks.
08:04I'd like to see your parents' faces when they see your marks at the end of term.
08:08Perhaps you should work on your polyjuice potion so you can pay them a visit as sharp
08:13and lie yourself silly about how marvellous you are and how you exceeded expectations.
08:18Oh, do shut up.
08:20Everybody knows you're in remedial potions.
08:23Oh, did you hear about the new spell we're learning in charms?
08:26I can't wait.
08:28You know it's going to be a laugh with Ronan.
08:30And have you seen how these professors look at your clothes?
08:33Black looks at me like I'm a pauper.
08:36I swear the man thinks I have fleas.
08:38The professors are only trying to ensure that we're familiar with as much magic as possible.
08:42Mr Weeks says I'd be a marvellous advertisement for his shop.
08:46We're all naturally the epitome of competence, so why would we need to show off?
08:50He wouldn't back down, even when my mother threatened to report him.
08:54Although he did give us all detention after.
08:57And took the sweets.
08:59We had more sweets stashed than all of Honeydukes.
09:02I have Black to thank for that one.
09:04The stone steps are behind it.
09:06You can't miss them.
09:07If you're a Slytherin, of course.
09:09Well, Madam Kagawa said she's never seen anyone with such form on a broom.
09:13She even had the rest of the class watch me to see how it's done.
09:16It's impossible to do all of the homework they give you.
09:20I think they do it on purpose.
09:21I find its location a little untoward myself.
09:24I once flew to Ipswich and back.
09:27Yes, I did.
09:28Don't look at me like that.
09:29I've seen all the Moors.
09:31Every one of them.
09:32They all look the same.
09:33The only place I'm able to concentrate is in the library.
09:38It's also somewhat exciting waiting for the inevitable breach of silence.
09:42I think it's rather unique that you can see the lake from the Slytherin common room.
09:47I bet all of the houses would appreciate it if you asked them.
09:49All I can say is, it's lucky the boys have their own dormitories.
09:53The mess they make.
09:55I bet Black could tell a few tales about his days at Hogwarts.
09:58When he was a student, I mean.
09:59Don't talk to me about humiliation.
10:02My broom went up like a bit of flint the other day.
10:04Well, I've yet to understand how one is expected to do the homework for Bin's class
10:09since that would require staying awake for it.
10:11Try writing a hippogriff.
10:13You'll soon learn that Kagawa's techniques are lacking practical uses.
10:17I wish Professor Garlic would teach us more about flesh-eating trees.
10:21There seems so little about them.
10:23Perhaps one day someone will write a book on them.
10:25If someone says you have eyes like a demiguise, is that a compliment?
10:30Some of us are tidier than others though, aren't we?
10:32You don't have to look far to know who the disgrace is in our dormitory.
10:36It's my favourite place in the entire school.
10:39If I didn't have that fireplace to sit next to, I think I should be terribly homesick.
10:43I did tell you not to put too much dragon manure on your screech-snap seedlings.
10:47When my grandfather went to this school, Dilys Derwent was the headmistress.
10:52Marvellous healer, apparently.
10:53Very highly regarded.
10:55Bet she did better in potions than I'm doing in herbology.
10:58Augustus Hill just wants you to buy something though.
11:01He's always talking his game.
11:03And then look at his face if you don't buy something.
11:05He's like a child with an empty pillowcase on Christmas morn.
11:09I went to the lake once.
11:10Wanted to have a sing-song just by myself.
11:13When I'm in Hogsmeade, I always pay a visit to Dogweed and Deathcap.
11:17Although, Madam Green can be a little fiery sometimes,
11:20so you definitely want to stay on her good side.
11:22I wish we didn't have to use a dagger in potions.
11:25I'm not the least bit comfortable with it.
11:29Crush with the flat side of the dagger.
11:31It's most untoward if you ask me.
11:34The thing's lethal.
11:36I feel I'd be safer if I were being schooled by Rookwood.
11:38Is it possible to become an Auror and not excel in potions?
11:42I think so, wouldn't you?
11:44It's all about demeanour really, isn't it?
11:46Being an Auror.
11:47Having a commanding stature.
11:50I think I shall be a force to be reckoned with.
11:52If I had to pick a professor to race against, it'd be Hecate.
11:56I'm serious.
11:57She's a thousand years old.
11:59Or seventy-five or something.
12:01I enjoy divination.
12:03But when is Professor Anaï going to tell us more about Africa?
12:06I've learned enough about ornithomancy to last me a lifetime.
12:10I want to hear about the Serengeti.
12:12Even Madam Scribner's shown sympathy on that front, and that's saying something.
12:17I've been writing hippogriffs since I was five.
12:19Comes naturally to me.
12:21And I've only been to hospital four times.
12:23I believe every common room has one.
12:25If you ask me, the best thing about the Slytherin common room
12:28is that you don't have to walk far to potions.
12:30Have you ever had a cauldron leak?
12:33I didn't think it was possible.
12:34And then one minute, I was stirring.
12:36And the next, I was swimming in wolfsbane potion.
12:39Sharp almost threw his wand at me, I swear.
12:42Turned out I'd just spilt my flask.
12:44Wasn't my fault.
12:46If you try to study in the library, at least you can be assured of peace and quiet.
12:50Madam Scribner sees to that.
12:52There's simply too much information, if you ask me.
12:55Surely it's not all necessary.
12:57Next thing you know, they'll be teaching us about muggles.
12:59I wonder if it's even quieter in the restricted section of the library.
13:04And what would happen if you made a noise?
13:06Our neighbour at home knows someone who's related to the inventor of Skelegro.
13:09It's true.
13:11Linfred of Stinchcomb, his name was.
13:12When I fell off my broom and broke six bones,
13:15they said they'd never seen Skelegro work so fast.
13:18All of my relatives work at the ministry.
13:21Every one of them.
13:22I suppose I'll probably be a hire up there one day.
13:26Best just stay in with me.
13:27Why would Helga Hufflepuff have you tap on barrels, though?
13:30That's the only thing that mystifies me.
13:32If you ask any Hufflepuff, they'll tell you there's a badger in their common room.
13:37Weasley said she always found the dormitory a good place to read.
13:40Better than the library.
13:41I bet Garlick had a say in it.
13:44Why else would it be the only common room with plants?
13:47She's obviously showing favouritism.
13:49I don't trust any of the boys.
13:51You find one venomous tentacular on your pillow and you don't soon forget.
13:55I do wish I had a bigger trunk, though.
13:57When someone says something nice to you, it's only because they want something.
14:00I thought a boy was trying to be nice to me the other day.
14:03Offered to carry my books, he did.
14:06Oh, charming, I thought.
14:08You shouldn't get so upset in herbology.
14:10The rate you're going, you'll need a calming draught.
14:13Someone passed me a note in class with a heart on it.
14:16I went bright red.
14:17Well, I don't find herbology the least bit amusing.
14:21I've been smacked in the face twice now by a bouncing bulb.
14:24And Garlick didn't do a thing.
14:26Don't laugh.
14:27The last time I was at Dogweed and Deathcap,
14:30Madam Green had everything from dittany seeds to shrivel figs.
14:34Just be careful not to upset her, though.
14:36Or she might set a venomous tentacular on you.
14:39I had an awful time in potions the other day.
14:42Someone had scribbled all over the pages of my book of potions.
14:45The margins were as black as soot.
14:48And it was a copy from library.
14:50Scribbler's going to have me for that.
14:52Anyone fancy going to Brood & Peck with me?
14:54I've been wanting to go for ages.
14:56My friend said they have very high-quality feathers,
14:59and I need one for my jobinol.
15:01Can't remember why.
15:03I wonder if you learn different things about astronomy at a Wagadoo.
15:07Although I can't see anyone being as passionate about it as Char.
15:10My aunt has some potions recipes she swears are from Zygmunt Budge himself.
15:15What?
15:16She wouldn't make it up.
15:17She says they're ones he didn't put in the book of potions.
15:20Likely powerful spells for the complexion.
15:24What?
15:25Why are you looking at my chin like that?
15:27Stop it!
15:28I don't mind herbology myself.
15:30I'll take a mandrake any day over an annoying little puffskeen.
15:34And our neighbour's best friend Sally had a friend down the lane
15:36whose great-great-grandfather knew the man who used to tend his hedge.
15:40I'm going to have my own telescope one day.
15:42I've already decided that Jupiter's my favourite planet.
15:46Although I suppose Saturn's got the rings going for it.
15:49Said I must have special marrow in my bones or something.
15:53They did.
15:54I need someone to lend me some potions ingredients.
15:58Don't give me that look.
15:59I told you before I was only musing about a love potion.
16:03As if I'd actually brew one.
16:05I wouldn't have the faintest idea what to put in one.
16:08Let alone finding powdered moonstone or ashwinder eggs.
16:12Apparently very nice it was.
16:15Probably flakers.