Watch Full Movie Online Deep-in-the-Valley 2009 Hollywood English Movie
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00:03:18Uh, meet Lester Watts. W-A-T-T-S.
00:03:25Uh, I'm a boxer's man.
00:03:27Average size, probably, you know, five and seven-eighths inches.
00:03:31But it's really wide.
00:03:32Devastating girth.
00:03:34Last night, or this morning, and, uh, like 20 minutes ago at lunch.
00:03:38Package, folks?
00:03:39If I had to choose, uh, probably nipple clamps over strap-on.
00:03:45Tap?
00:03:49Tap.
00:03:51What else do I like?
00:03:54Fuckin' sixth graders!
00:03:59No, no, no, no, no, no, that's not what I meant.
00:04:01Hello? I didn't...
00:04:02Hello?
00:04:03Did you...
00:04:04God!
00:04:06God!
00:04:08Hey, man of the hour, what's up?
00:04:11How'd it go?
00:04:12I got it.
00:04:13What?!
00:04:14And it was beautiful.
00:04:15I just sat down, eye to eye, and the guy caved on everything.
00:04:19Huge raise, fat title, sick office.
00:04:22The works.
00:04:24Tracy, how'd she take it when you told her you were leaving her daddy's firm?
00:04:27No, no, I haven't, uh, you know, I haven't told her.
00:04:30Oh, Jesus Christ, man.
00:04:31You're not giving her enough credit.
00:04:33You know, she's a great girl.
00:04:35All right, and she wants what's best for me, because that is what's best for us, for the Tracy Carl unit.
00:04:41And...
00:04:46Did you just say to me, the Tracy Carl unit?
00:04:49Bro, I've had your back since the bloody asphalt days of third grade dodgeball.
00:04:54Tim Wheatley hit you in the face with a basketball and knocked you out.
00:04:57What did I do?
00:04:58I held him down and I farted in his mouth, Carl.
00:05:00I know, and I appreciate that.
00:05:02You know I appreciate that.
00:05:03I know what's best for you.
00:05:05And if I was about to cut my balls off, I hope that a good friend would stand up and tell me that I'm an asshole.
00:05:11So, Carl, as a friend, you're an asshole.
00:05:14Lester, I promise, everything's going to be okay.
00:05:17All right?
00:05:21It's going to be fine.
00:05:23Are you out of your fucking mind?
00:05:26Leaving daddy's firm after all he's done for you, for us?
00:05:30Well, yes, I know, but...
00:05:31The wedding.
00:05:32It's a hundred grand.
00:05:34Who's paying?
00:05:35Oh, that's right.
00:05:36Daddy.
00:05:37Honeymoon?
00:05:38Ding!
00:05:39Daddy again.
00:05:40Well, he's very generous.
00:05:41I just don't understand why you'd want to leave anyway.
00:05:43My brothers love it there, and so does Uncle Larry.
00:05:45A mummy comes by every day with a healthy, homemade, nutritious lunch you claim you just love.
00:05:50That is, unless you've been lying to me.
00:05:54Hmm?
00:05:57A liar, are you, Carl?
00:05:59I am not a liar.
00:06:00I love your mother's cooking.
00:06:01I just think that I...
00:06:02Carl, sweetie, you've just got to have an open mind about this,
00:06:05and realize that leaving daddy's firm is just simply not going to happen.
00:06:09Okay, baby?
00:06:11End of discussion.
00:06:16Is the feel okay, though?
00:06:18A little cold.
00:06:19Whoops.
00:06:29Mmm.
00:06:30Mmm.
00:06:31Mmm-hmm.
00:06:33That's a good choice.
00:06:34You know what?
00:06:35You don't even have to tell me.
00:06:38I want to guess.
00:06:39Is that okay?
00:06:40You sat down eye to eye, and you folded like a little bitch.
00:06:43Am I wrong?
00:06:44So you get the same title, no raise, shitty office.
00:06:48What'd you call it?
00:06:49The works.
00:06:51It's Monday morning.
00:06:52Welcome to hell.
00:06:53I mean, why is she so mad at you all the time?
00:06:56I mean, come on, bro.
00:06:58You're the one who should be pissed, my friend.
00:07:00I was thinking that maybe I should buy her something, you know, that's special,
00:07:06but also creative.
00:07:08Ooh, like get her a retard with a box of crayons,
00:07:11with one of them sharpeners so he can sharpen it
00:07:13and then take the shavings and put them all over his face.
00:07:16You're going to hell.
00:07:17Well, you know what?
00:07:18No, I'm not going to hell.
00:07:19Retards love crayons.
00:07:22What are you doing?
00:07:23No, no, no, no, don't be that guy.
00:07:24I'm not calling her, all right?
00:07:26Who are you calling?
00:07:27I'm going to decline the job offer.
00:07:28Just don't be rash, okay?
00:07:29You don't have to call right now.
00:07:30Give it the weekend.
00:07:31Why give it the weekend?
00:07:32I mean, what is the point?
00:07:33What's going to happen this weekend?
00:07:34Let's do it.
00:07:35Ooh, ooh.
00:07:52Um, did you buy this?
00:07:57I don't know.
00:07:59I've been pretty blackout drunk for the last week and a half.
00:08:01Thanks for asking.
00:08:02But no, I feel like I want it.
00:08:03I vaguely remember calling some sweepstakes.
00:08:06I hope I didn't buy this.
00:08:08This thing's priceless.
00:08:09I couldn't have bought it.
00:08:10I couldn't afford this.
00:08:11Really?
00:08:12And I'm the one who has to rethink my life.
00:08:13Yeah, you do.
00:08:16So let's plug this sucker in, huh?
00:08:20This is a piece of history, my man.
00:08:22I mean, this is how they kicked it old school.
00:08:23There was no Internet back then.
00:08:24Just grab a roll of quarters, get on in it,
00:08:25and get your horn on.
00:08:26Hey, thanks for the history lesson.
00:08:27Plug it in, huh?
00:08:32It works.
00:08:34It seems to, yeah.
00:08:35Let's check it out.
00:08:37Yeah, let's.
00:08:38Come on.
00:08:39It's like a time machine taking you back to porn's glory days.
00:08:42Uh-huh.
00:08:43Why am I longing for those days?
00:08:46This is a vintage Diamond Jim porn booth, okay?
00:08:50You know who Diamond Jim is.
00:08:51No.
00:08:52I don't.
00:08:54I think Spielberg.
00:08:55Okay, that's the kind of influence that this man had on porn.
00:08:58I mean, before Diamond Jim, porno was dark and dirty and hairy,
00:09:03and Diamond Jim just changed everything.
00:09:05DJ made porn fun.
00:09:07Okay, and fun is something that you are sorely lacking these days.
00:09:10And any fun that's left in you is going to be sucked out by you-know-who.
00:09:14All right.
00:09:15And not from your...
00:09:16Because she doesn't do that.
00:09:17That's inappropriate?
00:09:18She's a lady.
00:09:19Get in the porn booth, Carl, and I'll show you some real ladies.
00:09:21That's great.
00:09:22Yeah.
00:09:26Carl.
00:09:27What?
00:09:28Trust me, get in the porn booth.
00:09:29I'm not getting in there.
00:09:30It's vintage.
00:09:31That means used.
00:09:32Used means sticky.
00:09:33I'm not getting in there.
00:09:34You don't like sticky?
00:09:35No.
00:09:36You don't mind sitting on the couch?
00:09:37You.
00:09:38Let's go.
00:09:39Wow.
00:09:40Wow.
00:09:41Carl, trust me.
00:09:48Hey, give it.
00:09:50Wow.
00:09:51Somebody had a real thing for nurses.
00:09:52They're nice people.
00:09:53Okay, Carl, they're helpers.
00:09:54Holy shit.
00:09:55Sorority Surprise?
00:09:56That's insane.
00:09:57No way.
00:09:58No, no, no, no, no.
00:09:59What?
00:10:00Sorority Surprise.
00:10:01You've never heard of it?
00:10:02I never have.
00:10:03It's Diamond Jim's experimental masterpiece.
00:10:04It was an epic, days in the making, only to disappear off the face of the planet.
00:10:05Some people say Diamond Jim went insane trying to finish it.
00:10:06What?
00:10:07What?
00:10:08What?
00:10:09What?
00:10:10What?
00:10:11What?
00:10:12What?
00:10:13What?
00:10:14What?
00:10:15What?
00:10:16What?
00:10:17What?
00:10:19Other people say it was two scoops of cocaine he put on his Raisin Bran every morning,
00:10:20but here it is.
00:10:21Hey, Bud.
00:10:22Picky Flick.
00:10:23He's a good smiler in your face.
00:10:24I'll bet it will.
00:10:25Alright, let's get it on.
00:10:26Are you doing that, dude?
00:10:31Stop?
00:10:32What is that?
00:10:34Why is that happening?
00:10:38Why won't it stop?
00:10:42Stop it.
00:10:43Whoa, dude.
00:10:45Fail!
00:10:46fail
00:11:03oh that was intense are you okay I think so
00:11:09man where are we
00:11:16free put your hands up I said free get your hands up you want us to freeze or
00:11:26get our hands up shut up huh Britney Frisco
00:11:35we have a concealed weapon here is that booze I smell on your breath I'm sorry
00:11:42officer we did not do anything wrong here oh yeah how's malicious jaywalking
00:11:49sound with intent made up no really officer how do I know you and you too
00:11:55college I mean I didn't really go to college used to deal weed there I didn't
00:11:58really deal weed there but I'm just saying how do I know you a a silence
00:12:12those regulation uniforms
00:12:42you want a cop to or walk the block cuz Rod Cannon has got the numbers on you
00:12:50and good
00:13:01that's the book on you smart guy talking the talk well listen up and you
00:13:05better listen good you better check wise and sing the rumble before you know it
00:13:11you might find yourself on the rub out highway to nowheresville that was the
00:13:21gun son you don't want to see the cannon get this dumb mug out of my sight
00:13:41well what do we have here
00:13:51another outburst like that and I will send you straight to the hole wait wait
00:14:13just listen okay all I know is I'm hanging out with my
00:14:17buddy and then the next thing you know there's this lights and then there's
00:14:20sound slam it to the ground okay there was cops
00:14:26key cops and then they kicked me in the balls and they maced me and now I'm here
00:14:33you think I haven't heard that one before do you
00:15:03you better get used to you're the fucking bitch bitch stupid bitch what
00:15:14you make me bitch we met somewhere before or something I don't know I see
00:15:34like you every day oh my god sure look we can either do this the easy way or we
00:15:54can do it the hard way I know that's not uh could it get any harder oh yeah
00:16:24you guys wanna kiss it's open no okay you're good yeah
00:16:55one way you're gonna tell me what I want to know if I have to suck it out
00:17:02of you oh I'm not talking I'm not talking you can't get me to talk hey
00:17:09Lester oh my god what is he doing here oh baby it's okay that's why you
00:17:15understand she needs information I can explain yeah well that's great explain
00:17:20later come on you can't get away I'll talk you don't get what I want
00:17:50you
00:18:14this way
00:18:20oh this is all my fault don't sweat it sister
00:18:30we're gonna track house the house we're gonna bag those plugs before the blue
00:18:34plate hits the counter yeah oh yeah can it chippy can it
00:18:51Rod's always here for the taken you know that but with these punks these mugs
00:18:57these goofaloo for deuce loosen my engine it's track one for trouble time
00:19:03okay I think
00:19:08oh
00:19:25now I'm way wetter than you are no I'm way wetter
00:19:30now you're both wet all right let's take a vote who's wetter Brandi or Mandy
00:19:48have you ever seen anything like this yes yes my friend I am this is the
00:19:58opening scene of dirty talking go it's all right that's enough of the jokes I'm
00:20:01serious all right oh this is not a joke and I don't even know how to be more
00:20:05serious and like wow this is definitely the wettest I've ever been
00:20:13yeah check back at the police station her name is Suzy Diablo she's a porn
00:20:28star she's a black belt in SNM's nothing but trouble and this girl her name is
00:20:36autumn bliss she's the den mother here and try buying sorority she keeps the
00:20:41girls in line dirty little hussies her that there is definitely cheeks the
00:20:47blonde she's a water sports specialist if you know what I'm saying that's one
00:20:50of my personal favorites and in five four three two
00:20:59that is Bambi
00:21:04she is the best of the best car
00:21:12hi girl
00:21:18end of story Carl I think we have to seriously consider the possibility that
00:21:27we died back there we got electrocuted in that booth and now we somehow made it
00:21:32to heaven praise Jesus no no this is just a bad
00:21:38drunk dream and any minute I am gonna wake up and everything will be the way
00:21:43it was well not exactly in the flesh my friend and please call me DJ DJ please
00:21:53tell me this is some sort of dream or something or are we dead well the answer
00:21:58is yes and no told you see it's like this on the one hand you've taken on an
00:22:04alternative form of existence which could be construed as some sort of a
00:22:08dreamlike state but on the other hand since you physically traveled here you
00:22:12no longer exist back home so technically you're considered dead yes but not
00:22:15really cuz you're here and you're alive huh so wait wait wait wait are you
00:22:20saying that we have traveled to some sort of alternate porno flick dimension
00:22:29or perhaps if you will a pornoville well if it looks like porno and smells like
00:22:36porno it must be porno oh yes thank you thank you no no no no no this is not
00:22:44happening oh what's happening Carl you see you were brought here for a reason
00:22:49and like any great journey the true adventure is figuring that reason out or
00:22:56something cool I love meaningful journeys if you could just do me a favor
00:23:00and point me in the direction of one of those dimension altering porn booths and
00:23:05I'll just make my way home Carl you don't punch a ticket home until you
00:23:11complete the journey don't fast-forwarding you dig son now here are
00:23:16the rules listen up yeah there are none wait now hang on is there one shit I
00:23:29don't remember hey do whatever the hell you want
00:23:31it's better huh what's up boys piece of advice just keep it simple oh he's gone
00:23:45okay so we can't hide out here in the open then hey we can hide up there they
00:23:51have an attic up there that they never use how do you know because in co-ed
00:23:55cupcakes 9 the girls have a seance with a vibrating Ouija board that they think
00:23:59is haunted by a ghost with a 20-inch long they call the cock nest monster
00:24:02that lives in the attic that they never use I shouldn't have been a friend of
00:24:07you yeah all right fine let's go okay but first we have to hide here for five
00:24:13more minutes why they're about to have an orgy bro
00:24:29Oh
00:24:43why do they need all this dessert
00:25:00oh god that was fun I know and we've only just begun
00:25:06maybe that feels good don't forget the cherries girls you're my favorite Sunday
00:26:01compose
00:26:17I'll bring Mr. Booboo
00:26:19Oh great idea
00:26:21I'm gonna take a shower
00:26:23but I always take showers
00:26:45oh yeah I forgot
00:26:47you're silly
00:26:53you can change in here if you want
00:26:55how about we meet in the shower
00:26:57okay
00:27:23oh
00:27:53oh
00:27:55oh
00:27:57oh
00:27:59oh
00:28:01oh
00:28:03oh
00:28:05oh
00:28:07oh
00:28:09oh
00:28:11oh
00:28:13oh
00:28:15oh
00:28:17oh
00:28:19oh
00:28:21oh
00:28:23oh
00:28:25oh
00:28:27oh
00:28:29who are you
00:28:31and what are you doing in my closet
00:28:33I'm sorry I'm sorry I can explain
00:28:35you better or I start screaming
00:28:37please please please
00:28:39I came here in a booth
00:28:41a movie booth but it's not a movie booth
00:28:43it's a time portal dimension jumping mission
00:28:47you sure you want to hear this
00:28:49I'm quite sure, mm-hmm.
00:28:54Quality control, ma'am.
00:28:57Uh, I have been inspecting these items.
00:29:03I'm afraid I'm gonna have to seize them all.
00:29:05What?
00:29:06You and Mr. Boo-Boo?
00:29:08Oh, especially Mr. Boo-Boo.
00:29:11Oh, so you're from outer space?
00:29:16Uh, no, not exactly.
00:29:18Are you gonna eat me?
00:29:20I'm not gonna, no.
00:29:21No, I'm not gonna do anything to you.
00:29:22I just, I need to go home.
00:29:25Oh, gee, mister, are you absolutely positive
00:29:29you have to take all of them?
00:29:31Absolutely sure.
00:29:33Well, are you sure there's nothing I could do
00:29:37to change your mind?
00:29:40Well, I, uh...
00:29:44I'm sure that, uh, I, uh...
00:29:51I think, uh...
00:29:53Ah!
00:29:53Ah!
00:29:54Ah!
00:29:55Ah!
00:29:57Ah!
00:29:58Ah!
00:29:59Ah!
00:30:00Ah!
00:30:01Ah!
00:30:04Ah!
00:30:07Ah...
00:30:09Ah...
00:30:10And where did you land here?
00:30:23I don't know.
00:30:24I mean, there was an alley, and then we got arrested.
00:30:27I mean, everything was just happening so fast, I don't really...
00:30:33Oh, no, that's that guy, that's that crazy detective guy with the toothpick, and I don't
00:30:50know what he's saying.
00:30:51Yeah, that's Detective Rod Cannon.
00:30:52He always gets his man.
00:30:54You guys gotta hide.
00:30:55You gonna help us?
00:30:56Of course, Billy.
00:30:57Oh, thanks.
00:30:58Daphne, you gotta hide these two, and quick, Rod is here.
00:31:09Rod Cannon?
00:31:10The long-strong of the law, Rod Cannon?
00:31:13Did he interrogate you?
00:31:16Yeah, kind of.
00:31:18Oh, shit, bro.
00:31:20We do not want to be caught by Rod.
00:31:25He always gets his man.
00:31:28If you know what I mean, I usually don't know what you mean, and it's no exception right
00:31:32now, so...
00:31:33Well, if it isn't Rod Cannon.
00:31:34Afternoon, Miss Bliss.
00:31:35What can I do for you today, Detective?
00:31:36Official business.
00:31:37Rod, you know boys aren't allowed upstairs without an escort.
00:32:00Like I said, sweetie, it's official.
00:32:26He's coming.
00:32:27Open up, police.
00:32:28Hey, guys.
00:32:29What's up?
00:32:30Step aside, please.
00:32:31I need to have a look-see.
00:32:32In there.
00:32:33Cool.
00:32:34Something wrong?
00:32:35Less confidential.
00:32:36Awesome.
00:32:37Have fun.
00:32:38Okay.
00:32:39So, you girls seen anything out of the ordinary?
00:32:40No.
00:32:42Something funny?
00:32:43No.
00:32:44Well, I'm going to have a look-see.
00:32:45Okay.
00:32:46I'm going to have a look-see.
00:32:47I'm going to have a look-see.
00:32:48I'm going to have a look-see.
00:32:49I'm going to have a look-see.
00:32:50I'm going to have a look-see.
00:32:51I'm going to have a look-see.
00:32:52I'm going to have a look-see.
00:32:53I'm going to have a look-see.
00:32:54I'm going to have a look-see.
00:32:55I'm going to have a look-see.
00:32:56I'm going to have a look-see.
00:32:57I'm going to have a look-see.
00:32:58I'm going to have a look-see.
00:32:59I'm going to have a look-see.
00:33:00I'm going to have a look-see.
00:33:01I'm going to have a look-see.
00:33:02I'm going to have a look-see.
00:33:03I'm going to have a look-see.
00:33:04I'm going to have a look-see.
00:33:05I'm going to have a look-see.
00:33:06I'm going to have a look-see.
00:33:07I'm going to have a look-see.
00:33:08I'm going to have a look-see.
00:33:09I'm going to have a look-see.
00:33:10I'm going to have a look-see.
00:33:11I'm going to have a look-see.
00:33:12I'm going to have a look-see.
00:33:13I'm going to have a look-see.
00:33:14I'm going to have a look-see.
00:33:15I'm going to have a look-see.
00:33:16I'm going to have a look-see.
00:33:17I'm going to have a look-see.
00:33:18I'm going to have a look-see.
00:33:19I'm going to have a look-see.
00:33:20I'm going to have a look-see.
00:33:21I'm going to have a look-see.
00:33:22I'm going to have a look-see.
00:33:23I'm going to have a look-see.
00:33:24I'm going to have a look-see.
00:33:25I'm going to have a look-see.
00:33:26I'm going to have a look-see.
00:33:27I'm going to have a look-see.
00:33:28I'm going to have a look-see.
00:33:29I'm going to have a look-see.
00:33:30I'm going to have a look-see.
00:33:31I'm going to have a look-see.
00:33:32I'm going to have a look-see.
00:33:33I'm going to have a look-see.
00:33:34I'm going to have a look-see.
00:33:35I'm going to have a look-see.
00:33:36I'm going to have a look-see.
00:33:37I'm going to have a look-see.
00:33:38I'm going to have a look-see.
00:33:39I'm going to have a look-see.
00:33:40I'm going to have a look-see.
00:33:41I'm going to have a look-see.
00:33:42I'm going to have a look-see.
00:33:43I'm going to have a look-see.
00:33:44I'm going to have a look-see.
00:33:45I'm going to have a look-see.
00:33:46I'm going to have a look-see.
00:33:47I'm going to have a look-see.
00:33:48I'm going to have a look-see.
00:33:49I'm going to have a look-see.
00:33:50I'm going to have a look-see.
00:33:51I'm going to have a look-see.
00:33:52I'm going to have a look-see.
00:33:53I'm going to have a look-see.
00:33:54I'm going to have a look-see.
00:33:55I'm going to have a look-see.
00:33:56I'm going to have a look-see.
00:34:24I'm going to have a look-see.
00:34:25I'm going to have a look-see.
00:34:26I'm going to have a look-see.
00:34:27I'm going to have a look-see.
00:34:28I'm going to have a look-see.
00:34:29I'm going to have a look-see.
00:34:30I'm going to have a look-see.
00:34:31I'm going to have a look-see.
00:34:32I'm going to have a look-see.
00:34:33I'm going to have a look-see.
00:34:34I'm going to have a look-see.
00:34:35I'm going to have a look-see.
00:34:36I'm going to have a look-see.
00:34:37I'm going to have a look-see.
00:34:38I'm going to have a look-see.
00:34:39I'm going to have a look-see.
00:34:40I'm going to have a look-see.
00:34:41I'm going to have a look-see.
00:34:42I'm going to have a look-see.
00:34:43I'm going to have a look-see.
00:34:44I'm going to have a look-see.
00:34:45I'm going to have a look-see.
00:34:46I'm going to have a look-see.
00:34:47I'm going to have a look-see.
00:34:48I'm going to have a look-see.
00:34:49I'm going to have a look-see.
00:34:50I'm going to have a look-see.
00:34:51I'm going to have a look-see.
00:34:52I'm going to have a look-see.
00:34:53I'm going to have a look-see.
00:34:54I'm going to have a look-see.
00:34:55I'm going to have a look-see.
00:34:56I'm going to have a look-see.
00:34:57I'm going to have a look-see.
00:34:58I'm going to have a look-see.
00:34:59I'm going to have a look-see.
00:35:00I'm going to have a look-see.
00:35:01I'm going to have a look-see.
00:35:02I'm going to have a look-see.
00:35:03I'm going to have a look-see.
00:35:04I'm going to have a look-see.
00:35:05I'm going to have a look-see.
00:35:06I'm going to have a look-see.
00:35:07I'm going to have a look-see.
00:35:08I'm going to have a look-see.
00:35:09I'm going to have a look-see.
00:35:10I'm going to have a look-see.
00:35:11I'm going to have a look-see.
00:35:12I'm going to have a look-see.
00:35:13I'm going to have a look-see.
00:35:14I'm going to have a look-see.
00:35:15I'm going to have a look-see.
00:35:16I'm going to have a look-see.
00:35:17I'm going to have a look-see.
00:35:18I'm going to have a look-see.
00:35:19I'm going to have a look-see.
00:35:20I'm going to have a look-see.
00:35:21I'm going to have a look-see.
00:35:22I'm going to have a look-see.
00:35:23I'm going to have a look-see.
00:35:24I'm going to have a look-see.
00:35:25I'm going to have a look-see.
00:35:26I'm going to have a look-see.
00:35:27I'm going to have a look-see.
00:35:28I'm going to have a look-see.
00:35:29I'm going to have a look-see.
00:35:30I'm going to have a look-see.
00:35:31I'm going to have a look-see.
00:35:32I'm going to have a look-see.
00:35:33I'm going to have a look-see.
00:35:34I'm going to have a look-see.
00:35:35I'm going to have a look-see.
00:35:36I'm going to have a look-see.
00:35:37I'm going to have a look-see.
00:35:38I'm going to have a look-see.
00:35:39I'm going to have a look-see.
00:35:40I'm going to have a look-see.
00:35:41I'm going to have a look-see.
00:35:42I'm going to have a look-see.
00:35:43I'm going to have a look-see.
00:35:44I'm going to have a look-see.
00:35:45I'm going to have a look-see.
00:35:46I'm going to have a look-see.
00:35:47I'm going to have a look-see.
00:35:48I'm going to have a look-see.
00:35:49I'm going to have a look-see.
00:35:50I'm going to have a look-see.
00:35:51I'm going to have a look-see.
00:35:52I'm going to have a look-see.
00:35:53I'm going to have a look-see.
00:35:55No, not that.
00:35:56They've been spotted at the hospital.
00:35:58Diablo, slant the hospital.
00:36:00Dick, Lance, hit the campus.
00:36:02I want these hoods back by nightfall or there will be hell to pay.
00:36:06Get out of here.
00:36:07Come on, move.
00:36:08Let's see movement.
00:36:09Let's move.
00:36:10Let's move.
00:36:11Let's move.
00:36:12Other way.
00:36:13Other way.
00:36:14Go.
00:36:16Pink Zone is for unloading only.
00:36:22I've got a contorted labor.
00:36:23I need 600 gallons of toxin magooey.
00:36:26What's after what?
00:36:27We're just 30 minutes in.
00:36:29This one here has got a humerus erectus and it's, yeah, it's huge.
00:36:33What's the argument on everybody?
00:36:35Hey, Emma, where are you going?
00:36:40Doctor, are they going to be okay?
00:36:42Right now it doesn't look good.
00:36:45But you sure as hell do.
00:36:47Is there anything that I can do?
00:36:48Well, I'm sure I can think of something.
00:36:51Okay.
00:36:54All deliveries for Dr. Jellyfinger, please use the rear entry.
00:37:01Carmen, what are you doing?
00:37:03Look, I have to get out of here.
00:37:04I can't waste my time with this.
00:37:05I've got to find the portal.
00:37:06I've got to get home.
00:37:07Let's just grab Lester and we'll go, okay?
00:37:08I can't.
00:37:10Oh, yeah.
00:37:11I have to go to cheerleading practice.
00:37:13Tryouts are tomorrow.
00:37:15Oh.
00:37:16And besides, we can't arouse any suspicions.
00:37:19Yeah.
00:37:20No, I understand.
00:37:21I mean, you've already done so much.
00:37:23But I still want to help.
00:37:25After you find Lester, come back to the Pie House,
00:37:28and Daphne and I will find you guys a place to hide.
00:37:30Right.
00:37:31Okay.
00:37:32Thanks, Bambi.
00:37:33It's your thing.
00:37:35And good luck.
00:37:43Dan, good luck to you.
00:37:44Thank you.
00:37:46To you as well.
00:37:51Oh.
00:37:55Oh.
00:37:59What are these?
00:38:06Oh.
00:38:13Hey, girls.
00:38:14Yeah.
00:38:15Do you want to get it on with me?
00:38:17Do you want to do it?
00:38:19Are you ready for your sponge bath?
00:38:21Uh, yeah.
00:38:29Now turn over.
00:38:32Okay.
00:38:33We always start with the back.
00:38:36But don't worry.
00:38:37We always finish with the front.
00:38:43Oh, yeah.
00:38:44Are you excited?
00:38:46Not really.
00:38:47Not really.
00:38:49Oh, yeah.
00:38:50Get down in the crack there.
00:38:55Dr. Bushwood, please prepare for an injection.
00:38:58Dr. Bushwood, prepare for a big injection.
00:39:02Oh, boy.
00:39:05Oh, hush.
00:39:08Oh!
00:39:10Wow.
00:39:11That looked painful.
00:39:13Anamnesty.
00:39:14Dr. Ticklow, call the oncology staff.
00:39:18Ooh, baby.
00:39:19Looks like I'm all strapped in.
00:39:21It wasn't very nice running out of milk, but...
00:39:25Oh, well, it's all about timing, baby.
00:39:27And, look, I'm not going anywhere,
00:39:30so I guess now is the time, if you know what I'm saying.
00:39:36What's that thing?
00:39:41Uh...
00:39:44I assure you,
00:39:45I assure you,
00:39:46this indeed will hurt.
00:39:48Wait, wait, wait.
00:39:49You mean, like,
00:39:50like, role-play hurt?
00:39:52Mm-mm.
00:39:53Or honesty got hurt?
00:39:56Yeah.
00:39:58Wait, wait, wait.
00:39:59No, no, no.
00:40:00You don't want to do that.
00:40:01Yes.
00:40:03Dr. Jellyfinger.
00:40:04Dr. Jellyfinger.
00:40:05Dr. Jellyfinger.
00:40:06Oh, no, that's not my...
00:40:07Your patient is waiting.
00:40:08I don't have patients.
00:40:10What if I told you...
00:40:11What if I told you that I'm a virgin?
00:40:17Oh, fuck it.
00:40:18I'm stalling.
00:40:19Get it over with.
00:40:21No!
00:40:22No!
00:40:23No!
00:40:24No!
00:40:25No!
00:40:26No!
00:40:27No!
00:40:28No!
00:40:29No!
00:40:30No!
00:40:31No!
00:40:32No!
00:40:33No!
00:40:34No!
00:40:35No!
00:40:36No!
00:40:37No!
00:40:38No!
00:40:39No!
00:40:40It's so good to see you.
00:40:42So, um...
00:40:44What, uh...
00:40:46seems to be the problem?
00:40:48It's my nipples.
00:40:50They taste funny.
00:40:56Okay.
00:40:57Would you...
00:40:58excuse me...
00:40:59for...
00:41:06Oh, weird!
00:41:08Faster up!
00:41:10Carl, help me!
00:41:18You don't ever say a word about this.
00:41:19I don't know what you're talking...
00:41:20I don't...
00:41:21I have no idea what you're talking about.
00:41:22Good. Nothing.
00:41:26Get out!
00:41:27My legs!
00:41:28Yes!
00:41:32Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa!
00:41:33That's where we landed.
00:41:34That's where we landed.
00:41:35That's where we dropped.
00:41:36I don't care! Let's go!
00:41:37She's coming!
00:41:38With that thing!
00:41:39Let's go!
00:41:40Come on!
00:41:42Um...
00:41:46Okay.
00:41:47It's still there!
00:41:49Look, I'm...
00:41:50Don't touch me!
00:41:51Look, I'm...
00:41:52I don't...
00:41:53I'm gonna count to three, okay?
00:41:55Keep them closed.
00:41:57One...
00:41:59Ah!
00:42:00Ah!
00:42:01Ah!
00:42:02Ah!
00:42:03Ah!
00:42:05You never say a word about this, ever!
00:42:07No!
00:42:08Ever!
00:42:09No, never. Absolutely.
00:42:10I would not do that.
00:42:15Go, go, go, go, go!
00:42:21Gave you the slip, huh?
00:42:24Let me tell you something, Missy.
00:42:25I want those...
00:42:26twists...
00:42:27bar-bound...
00:42:29ASAP.
00:42:31Now that's your badge.
00:42:32Got me, sister?
00:42:36Move it.
00:42:44So, why don't you tell me something about yourself?
00:42:46Okay.
00:42:47Alright.
00:42:48I'm 21 years old, and I'm a Capricorn.
00:42:50I'm 5'7", 110 pounds.
00:42:52My measurements are 34C2434.
00:42:55My turn-ons include candlelight dinners,
00:42:57guys who make me laugh,
00:42:58and long bubble baths.
00:42:59And my goal in life is to make the world smile.
00:43:04But you know what?
00:43:06Lately, I've been having these thoughts.
00:43:08New thoughts.
00:43:10I just think that there must be more to life than sex.
00:43:14Gosh.
00:43:15I mean, it's always sex.
00:43:17Just sex, sex, sex.
00:43:20It seems like there might be something missing.
00:43:24Yeah, like...
00:43:25like love, perhaps.
00:43:27Love?
00:43:29What do you mean?
00:43:31Well, you know, love.
00:43:32When you have sex with someone that you love,
00:43:35the sex is better.
00:43:36Okay, so I'm supposed to have sex with the people that I love?
00:43:40Yeah, absolutely.
00:43:42But how do you know if you're falling in love?
00:43:45Well, that is the great mystery.
00:43:48Maybe it's something that you catch in a person's eye
00:43:52that touches you,
00:43:53or maybe it's the way that that person treats you.
00:43:57The way that they understand, they listen.
00:44:01Let's make love.
00:44:03Right now.
00:44:05What?
00:44:06You want to make love now?
00:44:08I gotta go to the bathroom.
00:44:10What?
00:44:11You don't love me?
00:44:12No, it's not that.
00:44:13I just, you know, I should...
00:44:15Well, two seconds.
00:44:16Give me two seconds.
00:44:17Okay.
00:44:19So I found myself outside of San Antone
00:44:22around about midnight on a cold January eve.
00:44:25I was shacked up on an old Pentecostal church
00:44:27with Ruby Joe Greenberg.
00:44:28He was on foot now with old Chief Redclaw.
00:44:30He's out of Missoula way.
00:44:31Makes his living trading arrowheads for fire water
00:44:35and mescaline south of the border.
00:44:37He carries around a dream catcher.
00:44:38You want to take a bath and fuck?
00:44:42Yeah, okay.
00:44:44Okay.
00:44:45Okay.
00:44:47Some people say that it's not cheating
00:44:50if you're in a different state.
00:44:52So I don't really see how it can be cheating
00:44:54if you're in a different fucking dimension.
00:44:57You need to lighten up, bro.
00:45:00Come on.
00:45:01All right, here.
00:45:02Carl, here's what you do.
00:45:03All right?
00:45:04You go back in there
00:45:06and you man up.
00:45:07You know, I think you need to realize something.
00:45:10This is not a joke, all right?
00:45:12If we don't figure out what's what,
00:45:14we might be doomed here forever.
00:45:16I think you might be overreacting just a little bit.
00:45:20I mean, sure, things aren't going our way right now,
00:45:22but as soon as we work out the kinks,
00:45:23come on, everything's gonna be great.
00:45:25Look, it's just, you know,
00:45:26I have a life to get back to, you know, a real life.
00:45:29And wait a minute.
00:45:30You and I have a dog together.
00:45:32Charlie.
00:45:36Charlie, yeah.
00:45:38Okay.
00:45:40But I'm gonna tell you what.
00:45:41If I give all this up,
00:45:43you have got to promise me right now
00:45:44that when you get back,
00:45:45you will at least try and make some changes in your life.
00:45:48I'm sorry, wait.
00:45:49What does that mean?
00:45:50I don't want you going back
00:45:51and living your same shitty life, Carl.
00:45:54Wait a minute, I have a shitty life?
00:45:56You have the shittiest life, yes.
00:45:58You're about to marry a woman
00:45:59who's not gonna let you be you.
00:46:01Not only that,
00:46:02she's turned you into a bitch!
00:46:04You're a little bitch!
00:46:05She took him, she owns him,
00:46:07and now you're a bitch.
00:46:08I don't even know you anymore.
00:46:09Whoa!
00:46:10Whoa!
00:46:11Whoa!
00:46:12Whoa!
00:46:13Whoa!
00:46:14Whoa!
00:46:18Whoa.
00:46:23Come here.
00:46:28All right, so where should we look for the, uh,
00:46:30the way to, whoa!
00:46:31I'll tell you what,
00:46:32I've got a million ideas all brewing right up here.
00:46:34I can't wait to get working on them ASAP.
00:46:36But first, you're gonna have to, uh,
00:46:38you're gonna have to let me take a bath.
00:46:40With Daphne.
00:46:41She's ready to rock.
00:46:42So, if I get you to leave the bathroom,
00:46:44it'd be really great.
00:46:45Okay, so, first thing tomorrow, then?
00:46:47Oh, yeah, totally.
00:46:48Tomorrow, perfect.
00:46:49Looking forward to it.
00:46:50Have fun.
00:46:51Okay!
00:46:54Carl, that was the longest two seconds of my life.
00:46:59This is about right.
00:47:01Oh.
00:47:08Hello, puppy.
00:47:10I hope you brought some ice.
00:47:13Why would I need ice?
00:47:15Ow!
00:47:16Ow!
00:47:17Ow!
00:47:18Ow!
00:47:19Ow!
00:47:20Ow!
00:47:21Ow!
00:47:30Hey, wait here.
00:47:46Oh!
00:47:49Oh!
00:47:50Oh!
00:47:52I forgot.
00:47:54You're a tri-pie.
00:47:55You pledged in Dirty Talking Coeds 11.
00:47:58I knew that.
00:47:59So stupid.
00:48:05I don't know what you're saying to me.
00:48:06I don't speak that language.
00:48:11Ha ha ha, bitch!
00:48:12Yeah, Carl!
00:48:13Oh.
00:48:14Oh, my God, what is going on?
00:48:17That is the woman from the hospital who, um...
00:48:19Whoa, whoa, whoa!
00:48:20She what?
00:48:21I don't, I don't know her.
00:48:23Who, um, who hurt Lester.
00:48:26What a bitch.
00:48:28She puked on my face.
00:48:30Oh.
00:48:31You need to find another place to hide.
00:48:34Well, where?
00:48:35Um...
00:48:45All the places that Bambi could think of for us to hide.
00:48:47Hey, do I have puke in my eyebrow?
00:48:49No, I got all of it, I think.
00:48:52Lock it.
00:48:55How they doing?
00:48:57Everything okay?
00:48:59Look, you know, Bambi is really going out of her way to help us.
00:49:02And, by the way, so is Daphne.
00:49:05I just, you know, I just think we should make it easy on them.
00:49:08Not get them in any more trouble.
00:49:10You cocksucker.
00:49:12I knew it.
00:49:13You're into her, aren't you?
00:49:14She's cute, but, uh, you know, she's not even real.
00:49:18First of all, Bambi Cummings is the hottest of the hot, Carl.
00:49:22She is like microwave lasagna hot.
00:49:24And secondly, she wants you.
00:49:26And I don't know why.
00:49:27I mean, it's retarded to me.
00:49:28There's a million swinging dicks here.
00:49:29She could have anyone she wants, and she's chosen you.
00:49:32Bambi Cummings is real.
00:49:34She's real enough to touch.
00:49:36She's real enough to squeeze.
00:49:37And she's real enough to put her shit on the line for us.
00:49:40Okay?
00:49:41That's real.
00:49:50Good night, Carl.
00:49:51I love you.
00:49:52I love you, too.
00:49:53Shh.
00:49:54Made me say it.
00:49:55Shh.
00:49:57Shh.
00:50:10Aren't we in a good mood today?
00:50:12I know.
00:50:13I just feel so, I don't know, you know?
00:50:16Is it Carl?
00:50:18You know about Carl?
00:50:20Of course, sweetie.
00:50:22Daphne told me.
00:50:23Oh, doesn't he sound like a cutie?
00:50:25Oh, he is.
00:50:26It's just I've never felt like this before.
00:50:29I think I'm in love.
00:50:32Love?
00:50:33Wow.
00:50:34What does that feel like?
00:50:36Oh, well, um, at first I can't get him out of my mind, you know?
00:50:40And then I get this pit in my stomach, and my heart's just pumping really hard,
00:50:45and it's hard for me to breathe, and then I get this headache.
00:50:49It's just so awesome, you know?
00:50:52Oh, wow.
00:50:55That's exactly how I felt after my first double penetration.
00:50:59You know what they say, you never forget your first.
00:51:02I know.
00:51:04Oh, babe.
00:51:06Oh.
00:51:25It's not here.
00:51:27What's not?
00:51:28What you looking for, Carl?
00:51:30Hey, DJ.
00:51:32Can you just please tell me where the portal is so that I can get out of here?
00:51:38How about if I give you a hint, Carl?
00:51:40Okay.
00:51:41Yeah, please give me a hint.
00:51:43Your way home's not through something you can touch, but rather something you can touch.
00:51:51Rather something you can feel.
00:51:56Okay?
00:51:57Okay, DJ.
00:51:58So if you're not going to show me how to get home, maybe you could give me some actual useful information, you know?
00:52:04Like, uh, Rod?
00:52:06Why?
00:52:07Why is he chasing us all over town?
00:52:09Because that's his job.
00:52:11Rod's a cop.
00:52:14That's what cops do.
00:52:15They chase people around.
00:52:17That's what it is.
00:52:18I mean, it's like Bambi.
00:52:19Bambi's going to be the hottest damn sorority cheater there ever was.
00:52:23Sexy.
00:52:24I so want to kick your ass right now.
00:52:27I mean, I don't know if I could, but you're not helping me, okay?
00:52:30You want to throw?
00:52:31I don't know if I have to beat it out of you.
00:52:32You want me to go Cobra on you?
00:52:34If you must.
00:52:35I'll take you down.
00:52:36Show me some feeling!
00:52:37I'm feeling.
00:52:38That's your adventure.
00:52:39I'll choose my own adventure, all right?
00:52:40Feeling!
00:52:41That's all I'm saying.
00:52:42Stop.
00:52:43Bang!
00:52:44Don't.
00:52:45That hurt.
00:52:46Wah!
00:52:47Come on.
00:52:49What a dick!
00:53:07I am so excited about trials.
00:53:10I'd do anything to meet this girl.
00:53:12Me too.
00:53:13There's absolutely nothing I wouldn't do.
00:53:16I just heard that they're short one judge and they might cancel tryouts.
00:53:21No!
00:53:26Now listen, sister.
00:53:27You want to play ball or what?
00:53:29Yeah!
00:53:33Hold on, cupcake.
00:53:38You want the alligator, you're going to have to spill the beans.
00:53:41No, I promised Bambi I wouldn't tell.
00:53:43Okay.
00:53:45No, no, no.
00:53:46Okay.
00:53:47Geez.
00:53:48Okay.
00:53:49On campus, girls locker room.
00:53:51Hey, hey, hey.
00:53:53Cool your jets, chippy.
00:53:59I got the jump.
00:54:01Valley campus, girls locker room.
00:54:03Over.
00:54:04All right, let's chill.
00:54:06No!
00:54:13Well, if he doesn't show up, we're going to have to cancel.
00:54:16Oh!
00:54:24Hey, it's starting to rain.
00:54:26Car trouble.
00:54:28Let's get it on!
00:54:36Yeah, yeah, yeah.
00:54:40Yeah, yeah, yeah.
00:54:44Yeah, yeah, yeah.
00:54:46She's a beauty.
00:54:51She's a queen.
00:54:54Don't wake me up now.
00:54:58This must be a dream.
00:55:02Yeah, yeah, yeah.
00:55:06Yeah, yeah, yeah.
00:55:10Yeah, yeah, yeah.
00:55:15Bring it down now.
00:55:23Yeah, yeah, yeah.
00:55:33Yeah, yeah, yeah.
00:55:35Rested in me as the coolest and best-looking judge in the Valley,
00:55:40I hereby announce this year's cheer captain as Bambi Cummings!
00:55:48Thanks, Lester.
00:56:02There he is!
00:56:05Come on, you idiot!
00:56:14Open it, open it, open it, open it, open it!
00:56:16The big guys are coming, open it!
00:56:20Uh-oh, key broke.
00:56:21Oh, God!
00:56:29Oh, word.
00:56:32Come on.
00:56:41Oh, boobies.
00:56:49Well, I got a fix, then.
00:56:51Sorry, I have a plan.
00:57:02His name is Busta.
00:57:04Busta Nutt.
00:57:06Wannabe rapper turned porn star,
00:57:08directed a few low-budget videos for some no-named MCs,
00:57:12hooked up with Diamond Jim, and voila, a franchise was born.
00:57:16Okay, how does that help us get home?
00:57:18Dude's got a whole collection of old-school video-style games
00:57:21in the basement downstairs, Carl.
00:57:24Booth-style games.
00:57:26Feel me?
00:57:28Yes, okay, good, good, good, good.
00:57:32Really?
00:57:35Follow my lead.
00:57:51Back the fuck up, bitch.
00:57:54Summer Eve.
00:57:56You, you know me.
00:57:59It's me, look at my...
00:58:01Rumpa? Huh?
00:58:03Rumpa.
00:58:05Rumpa-thumpa.
00:58:07Rumpa-thumpa.
00:58:08Check this out.
00:58:09Oh, okay.
00:58:11With the pop and the bang, bang,
00:58:13click back and the thumb up to the...
00:58:15You know what?
00:58:17Girl.
00:58:19There, and would you like a little bit of...
00:58:21A little bit of...
00:58:25All right, Rumpa, my brother.
00:58:27That's right, and this is my boy, PB&J.
00:58:29We call him Hot Carl.
00:58:31He likes it when girls poop on him.
00:58:33Tell her.
00:58:35I like it when girls poop on me.
00:58:37Very sick fuck, but we fit in here,
00:58:39so, girl, we just listen to music,
00:58:41saw the girls, so we come down,
00:58:43see what's crackling.
00:58:45Do I get a plus one?
00:58:47Come on in.
00:58:49Thanks, girl.
00:58:51I love your work.
00:59:11Ooh, I'm stimulated.
00:59:14And discombobulated.
00:59:16I'm gonna get all y'all pregnant tonight.
00:59:18Ooh!
00:59:20I'm gonna leave it in.
00:59:22You know you love that, huh?
00:59:24Damn, right there.
00:59:26Look at the pimp.
00:59:28I love you,
00:59:30because you never judged me
00:59:32on the fact that I was uncircumcised.
00:59:34I love that about you.
00:59:36You know my dick got a leg warmer on it.
00:59:38You still love daddy.
00:59:40He's a mad player,
00:59:42the motherfucking mastermind.
00:59:44Okay, can you just stop with that?
00:59:46This is the thing.
00:59:48Oh, sorry, yeah, the time machine portal thingamabob.
00:59:50Probably gonna find that over there
00:59:52VIP down the stairs.
00:59:54Oh, you.
00:59:56Oh, my God, is that Carl?
01:00:00And why is he going over there?
01:00:02Oh, maybe that's where
01:00:04his spaceship is.
01:00:08See ya.
01:00:12Hey, sugar.
01:00:14Hi.
01:00:16Wanna party?
01:00:18Uh, yeah, okay, we'll party.
01:00:20Um, I have to...
01:00:34Okay.
01:00:36You both look great.
01:00:38Bye.
01:00:40Excuse me.
01:00:42Bam Bam!
01:00:44What's wrong?
01:00:46Where is he?
01:00:48We're out of here.
01:00:56Here's your drink.
01:01:00May I?
01:01:02Ah, yes.
01:01:04You want some?
01:01:06Yeah.
01:01:08Oh, it's warm.
01:01:10Here you go.
01:01:20That's it, man.
01:01:22I said, what, motherfucker, you crazy?
01:01:24I stuck my plow cup right up in this pork steak.
01:01:26For sure, for sure.
01:01:28Ain't no motherfucker spit it
01:01:30like my brother Rafa.
01:01:32No, smoke?
01:01:34Yeah, yeah, this came out of ass, too.
01:01:36Did it?
01:01:39I'm smoking crack!
01:01:43Literally!
01:01:45Excuse me.
01:01:47I, I'm...
01:01:49Oh, I know one of them.
01:01:51Hey!
01:01:53Yo, my boy!
01:01:55Bitches suck this motherfucker's dick!
01:01:57Do it!
01:01:59Yo, dog!
01:02:01Give him some car wash.
01:02:03Yo, let's look over here, my dear!
01:02:09Uh, that's cool, man.
01:02:11Uh...
01:02:13He's a motherfuckin' turd in a punchbowl.
01:02:15Little crackass.
01:02:17But he's my, he's my boy.
01:02:21I'll just be right back, okay?
01:02:23Save my spot. Tap, tap.
01:02:25You better go get that motherfucker.
01:02:29Holy shit.
01:02:31Here it is.
01:02:33All right.
01:02:35Well...
01:02:37Go ahead and get in.
01:02:39You're not coming.
01:02:43I love you, but I struck the lottery here, bro.
01:02:45I belong here.
01:02:55If this thing works,
01:02:57you can ride it back anytime you want.
01:02:59And who knows, maybe even sometimes I'll come
01:03:01for holidays, like Kwanzaa.
01:03:03All right.
01:03:05Well...
01:03:07Bye.
01:03:09Bye.
01:03:13There we go!
01:03:15Holy shit, it works!
01:03:17All right.
01:03:21What the fuck is this?
01:03:25It looks like some kind of video game
01:03:27where you have to use the cock to shoot all the titties.
01:03:29Well...
01:03:31Looks like you're screwed.
01:03:33Should we go back upstairs?
01:03:35You said this was gonna work!
01:03:37Make it work!
01:03:43Sorry, you died.
01:03:53Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa.
01:04:01Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.
01:04:03Yeah, yeah.
01:04:05One more.
01:04:07Let's go!
01:04:19Freeze!
01:04:21What the fuck?
01:04:23What the fuck?
01:04:29What kind of bitch-ass motherfuckers
01:04:31you think we are?
01:04:33You think those are motherfucking guns?
01:04:35This here's a motherfucking gun!
01:04:37Ha, ha, ha, ha!
01:04:39Ain't that right, my man?
01:04:41What the...
01:04:43You ain't no motherfucking romper.
01:04:45I...
01:04:47It was...
01:04:49Check that out!
01:04:51You motherfuckers!
01:04:53Don't come around here!
01:04:55I'll beat the Grizzly Adam shit out of you!
01:04:57You Andy Griffith-looking motherfucker,
01:04:59get to dancing again.
01:05:05You're on your own.
01:05:07Don't look at me!
01:05:09Don't look at me!
01:05:13So I know that didn't go so well.
01:05:17Didn't go so well?
01:05:19Check that out. I've got the...
01:05:21Don't give me that look. I've got the cure, Carl.
01:05:23We got our way out of here.
01:05:25Two words.
01:05:27Babysitter orgy.
01:05:29Oh, my God!
01:05:31There's a house down here that I recognized from earlier.
01:05:33I knew I recognized it, but...
01:05:35Oh, my God, I'm trapped here forever with you.
01:05:39Say that like it's a bad thing.
01:05:43I should have never listened to you.
01:05:45You work in a liquor store.
01:05:49Now you've dragged me into your
01:05:51porn-fueled world.
01:05:57You're the biggest loser I know.
01:06:01I deserve this, really.
01:06:03So thanks.
01:06:05Is that right?
01:06:07You know what, Carl? Boo-hoo!
01:06:09Yeah, oh, I'm Carl.
01:06:11Oh, there's too many boobies.
01:06:13How could you do this to me, Lester?
01:06:15How could you bring me to the greatest place on the Earth?
01:06:17You know what? What about me?
01:06:19I should be getting laid two at a time,
01:06:21twice a day, but no.
01:06:23I gotta deal with your whining ass all the time.
01:06:25Oh, I'm sorry.
01:06:27Yeah, I'm the one who gets kicked in the balls over and over and over
01:06:29and I'm laying in my own puke and then that thing at the hospital...
01:06:33You don't say a word, but don't tell nobody.
01:06:37You know what?
01:06:39To hell with you.
01:06:41To hell with me.
01:06:43To hell with you, okay?
01:06:45Double. I got it. These are all for you.
01:06:47All right?
01:06:49Go. Get laid. Enjoy. Enjoy.
01:06:51I what?
01:06:59You're a baby. Come on.
01:07:03Hey.
01:07:09Shh.
01:07:11Shh.
01:07:15Oh.
01:07:17Did I order a pizza?
01:07:19Gee, maybe I got the wrong house.
01:07:21What kind of pizza is it?
01:07:23Extra large sausage
01:07:25and giant meatballs.
01:07:27Mmm.
01:07:29Now, yummy.
01:07:41Huh?
01:07:43Huh?
01:07:45I'm taking your car,
01:07:47pizza boy.
01:07:49My word.
01:07:55What's weird?
01:07:57You know what? Fuck you.
01:07:59Nothing's ruining my night.
01:08:07Hey, Pammy.
01:08:09It's me.
01:08:15What's wrong?
01:08:17How could you?
01:08:21Uh, how could I what?
01:08:23I thought you were different.
01:08:25What are you talking about?
01:08:27I saw you tonight
01:08:29with those girls.
01:08:33With which girls?
01:08:35So now you're gonna lie to me?
01:08:37Oh, no. Those girls.
01:08:39No, no, no. I can explain.
01:08:41No, I don't want to hear it.
01:08:43I saw what I saw, and that's that.
01:08:45No, baby, really. It is not what you think.
01:08:47No, Carl. You hurt me.
01:08:49And I don't ever want to see you again.
01:08:51And to think
01:08:53I ever loved you, Carl.
01:09:03Thank you, God.
01:09:05Oh, my God.
01:09:07Did we, like, order a pizza?
01:09:09You didn't?
01:09:11Who cares?
01:09:13I'm, like, totally starving.
01:09:17But we don't have any money.
01:09:19Oh, my God. Is there, like,
01:09:21any other way we could pay you?
01:09:25I'm sure we could think of something.
01:09:29That was just inside for a second.
01:09:31Don't tell yourself
01:09:33short stud muffin.
01:09:35You are harder than Chinese math.
01:09:37Thanks, sweetie.
01:09:39But seriously,
01:09:41who steals a pizza cart?
01:09:43I'm kicking an arch.
01:09:45Now go pin your diapers on and dangle it.
01:09:49Breaker, breaker.
01:09:51Yeah.
01:09:53Dust out the chopper squad.
01:09:55I got the buzz on the hot feet.
01:09:57Roger.
01:09:59It's called
01:10:01the nervous game.
01:10:03Oh, my God. I'm, like, so scared.
01:10:05Stop.
01:10:07Seriously.
01:10:09So what you do is you put one hand on each other.
01:10:11Start.
01:10:13Not yet.
01:10:15Starting with each other's heads.
01:10:17Then you move slowly down,
01:10:19pausing to ask,
01:10:21are you nervous?
01:10:23And if the answer's no,
01:10:25then you keep moving.
01:10:27And the game doesn't stop
01:10:29until someone says,
01:10:31that makes me nervous.
01:10:33But what if nothing makes me nervous?
01:10:35Then you keep going and going and going
01:10:37and going.
01:10:39Okay. Start.
01:10:55Are you nervous?
01:10:57No. Are you nervous?
01:10:59No.
01:11:05Are you nervous?
01:11:07No.
01:11:11Are you nervous?
01:11:15No.
01:11:21Are you nervous?
01:11:23Did you guys hear something?
01:11:28Now you're making me nervous.
01:11:35Where is your boyfriend?
01:11:37It's not my boyfriend.
01:11:39Hello?
01:11:41Anybody at home?
01:11:43I am the pool boy.
01:11:45And I have come to clean your pool.
01:11:47Oh,
01:11:49and it's so dirty.
01:11:57Okay.
01:12:13Wait, we don't even have a pool.
01:12:27Okay.
01:12:57Fuck this place, Carl.
01:13:27Oh, come on, Bama.
01:13:29DJ's parties always cheer you up.
01:13:31Put on a happy face.
01:13:37You did the right thing by getting rid of that car.
01:13:39I know.
01:13:41I think I made a horrible mistake.
01:13:43And I miss him so much it hurts.
01:13:45I wonder what he's doing right now.
01:13:51Oh, God. So that's it, huh?
01:13:53Yep.
01:13:57Well, what's the plan?
01:14:11Bambi!
01:14:13Daphne, come over here, you sweet things.
01:14:15Uh-oh.
01:14:17Why the long puss, sweet cheeks?
01:14:19She'll be fine.
01:14:21She just needs to relax.
01:14:23Well, you came to the right place.
01:14:25Come on, now.
01:14:27Just sit down. You tell DJ
01:14:29what's going on.
01:14:31Well, there's this boy that I met.
01:14:33And I treated him bad.
01:14:35And now I feel bad.
01:14:37That's so sad.
01:14:55Ah!
01:14:57Ah!
01:14:59Ah!
01:15:01Ah!
01:15:03Ah!
01:15:05Ah!
01:15:07Ah!
01:15:09Ah!
01:15:11Ah!
01:15:13Ah!
01:15:15Ah!
01:15:17Ah!
01:15:19Ah!
01:15:21Ah!
01:15:23Ah!
01:15:29Ah!
01:15:43Ah!
01:15:47Oh, God.
01:15:49Oh, great.
01:15:51All right, excellent.
01:15:53What's this?
01:15:54Oh, this one too.
01:15:55Oh, that's nice.
01:15:56Okay, give it up, kinks.
01:15:58Or else you're both gonna get the broads.
01:16:02What's that?
01:16:03I don't know what that is.
01:16:04I don't know.
01:16:06I just met a teen twister.
01:16:09Do it, try it.
01:16:10Oh, Lee!
01:16:11Oh, Lee!
01:16:13It's not working.
01:16:14Oh, oh, oh, yeah.
01:16:16Oh, yeah.
01:16:22Come on, come on.
01:16:22Okay.
01:16:31Off me, bitch.
01:16:33Nope.
01:16:34Okay, now he's...
01:16:37Dr. G, rock cannon!
01:16:39You hear that, man?
01:16:40Roar!
01:16:45Get him, Paul!
01:16:55Oh!
01:16:56Hey, man!
01:17:00What the hell is going on?
01:17:02I am about to red light these hot pads
01:17:05back to the Hoot Scout!
01:17:06Well, just stuff it, Rod.
01:17:08PJ, we just wanna go home.
01:17:11Yeah, I mean, we can't figure out why we're here,
01:17:13and by the way, none of us learned a damn thing!
01:17:18Is that right?
01:17:19So, you guys just wanna give up the journey, is that right?
01:17:23Exactly, yeah.
01:17:28Well, if that's what you really want...
01:17:30That's exactly, yes, positive.
01:17:33Okay, then just do as I say.
01:17:35Cup your balls, give them a squeeze,
01:17:38and say, there's no place like home.
01:17:40There's no place like home.
01:17:49There's no place like home.
01:17:51There's no place like home.
01:17:53There's no place like home.
01:17:54Ha ha, you're fucking with me!
01:17:57You're dead, you disgusting scum!
01:18:00Ah, the boot's right up there!
01:18:04Just step inside, and off you go!
01:18:06Go.
01:18:08Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa!
01:18:11Hold the phone, he already said it.
01:18:12Hold the phone, you're just gonna...
01:18:13Sorry, guy.
01:18:14You're just gonna kick these Trouble Boys' skip out?
01:18:17Will you shut up, Rod?
01:18:19Seriously, what crime do these guys ever commit, anyway?
01:18:22Well, I mean, I'm not sure specifically.
01:18:24I mean, I'm gonna, you know,
01:18:26check the statues and everything, when I get a chance.
01:18:29Yeah, why don't you do that, Rod?
01:18:31Why don't you check the statues?
01:18:32You're the sharpest cop on the force, and Rod, you're fired.
01:18:38Ha ha!
01:18:42So, what are you guys waiting for?
01:18:51Come on.
01:18:59Come on, come on, let's go.
01:19:07Come on.
01:19:16I guess you learned something important here, after all.
01:19:19Well, I did, DJ.
01:19:22I learned what true love really is.
01:19:25Oh, Jesus.
01:19:28I love you, Carl.
01:19:30I love you, baby.
01:19:34What happened?
01:19:35What did you do to my friend, Diamond Jim?
01:19:39Ah!
01:19:45Bambi?
01:19:51Bambi?
01:19:53So, then I remember, it hits me,
01:19:55wang, the one rule in this land.
01:19:59You can't fall in love.
01:20:01Oh, DJ, that's so unfair, I love him.
01:20:03Oh, Jesus Christ.
01:20:06In this land, you can't have that feeling.
01:20:10Okay, I'm sorry.
01:20:12Yeah, that's tough, sweetie, tough break.
01:20:15Hey, listen, it's been really great getting to know you all.
01:20:17Hey, uh, Lester?
01:20:19Are you sure that you really, really wanna go?
01:20:22Yeah, bro, I think I learned my lesson.
01:20:25What was that?
01:20:26This place is not what I expected it to be, okay?
01:20:30My nuts can't take anymore.
01:20:32I don't mean in a good way.
01:20:34Well, there's one more thing
01:20:35that you should know before you go.
01:20:37Oh, yeah, Diamond Jim, what's that?
01:20:40Lester,
01:20:43I am your father.
01:20:46What?
01:20:50That's my son, Prince to the eye!
01:20:55♫ Sweet Diamond, we'll get married
01:21:00Carl!
01:21:02Oh.
01:21:04Where the hell have you been?
01:21:06It's been two days, and do you know what that means?
01:21:08That means it's Sunday, and do you know what Sunday is?
01:21:12Sunday is food tasting day at the club with my parents.
01:21:16But, what the fuck happened to your ceiling?
01:21:20Uh, I had to take it.
01:21:21You know what, no, no, no.
01:21:22I don't wanna know, because right now,
01:21:24we're gonna go to the club, we're gonna meet my parents,
01:21:27and we're gonna have a nice time, okay?
01:21:30And tomorrow, you will explain everything.
01:21:33Okay.
01:21:33So, go get changed.
01:21:35Okay.
01:21:42No!
01:21:45What did you say?
01:21:50I said no.
01:21:52No, oh.
01:21:54No to what?
01:21:55No to everything.
01:21:57Everything.
01:21:59No to picking up your parents,
01:22:01and no to going to the food tasting at the club,
01:22:05and also, no to ever explaining anything to you!
01:22:11You know what?
01:22:11You are gonna regret this, mister.
01:22:13Oh, oh really?
01:22:14You are gonna regret this!
01:22:15Are you sure?
01:22:15Are you sure I am?
01:22:16Do I look like I'm gonna regret it?
01:22:17Yes!
01:22:18Are you sure?
01:22:19Yes!
01:22:20Look closer!
01:22:21Get the hell out of here!
01:22:21Go, get!
01:22:28Mister Hamm, this guy's not for a gay man.
01:22:32Really, isn't there anything you can do?
01:22:34I mean I know the rule,
01:22:34but can't you make an exception, just this once?
01:22:37Bam, you know you've always been my favorite,
01:22:39and I would do anything in the world to make you happy.
01:22:42And please help me, please?
01:22:44Oh, come on, DJ.
01:22:47Do our girls right.
01:22:50Hmm, well, let's just see what the Deeds can do.
01:22:54Ha, all right, all right.
01:22:57Thank you, thank you.
01:22:58There he is.
01:22:59He's coming out of it.
01:23:00Hey son.
01:23:01How you doing?
01:23:02You're here.
01:23:03You're back.
01:23:04Good to have you.
01:23:05You're the Prince of the Valley.
01:23:06How do you like your life?
01:23:07I love you, Dad.
01:23:08Are you sure you still want to go?
01:23:09Yes.
01:23:10Yes.
01:23:11Yes.
01:23:12Yes.
01:23:13Yes.
01:23:14Yes.
01:23:15Yes.
01:23:16Yes.
01:23:17Yes.
01:23:18Yes.
01:23:19Yes.
01:23:20Yes.
01:23:21Yes.
01:23:22Yes.
01:23:23Yes.
01:23:24Yes.
01:23:25Yes.
01:23:26Yes.
01:23:27No.
01:23:28No.
01:23:29No.
01:23:30I never liked him anyway.
01:23:33Beautiful.
01:23:36Beautiful.
01:23:40Ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha
01:24:10ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha
01:24:40ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha
01:25:10ha
01:25:21ho
01:25:23ahhh
01:25:26ha
01:25:26ha
01:25:29ha
01:25:31huh
01:25:33ha
01:25:35ha
01:25:37ha
01:25:39Bambi, is that you?
01:25:47Yeah.
01:25:48It's really me.
01:25:49But how?
01:25:50When your journey ended, it turned out mine had just begun.
01:25:54Your journey?
01:25:55Yeah.
01:25:56See, Carl, you came into my life and showed me what I was looking for.
01:25:59And then DJ told me if I wanted true love, I'd have to go after it myself.
01:26:03So you gave up your life there to be with me?
01:26:07Carl, I'd do anything to be with you.
01:26:10You'd do...
01:26:11Anything.
01:26:12Anything.
01:26:13Anything.
01:26:23See, Carl?
01:26:25I told you I'd always have your back.
01:26:28That's right, buddy.
01:26:30Since third grade dodgeball.
01:26:33Lester, what are you doing?
01:26:34What am I doing?
01:26:35I'm just having the time of my life.
01:26:38Two at a time.
01:26:39Twice a day.
01:26:40Looks like you have your hands full too, Carl.
01:26:45Yeah.
01:26:46Thanks, man.
01:26:47The pleasure's all mine.
01:26:50See you at Kwanzaa, buddy.
01:26:53Yeah, I'll see you at Kwanzaa.
01:26:56You know, they say I'm the best of the best.
01:27:00Think you can handle me?
01:27:03Definitely.
01:27:33Oh, baby, won't you get with me?
01:27:38And everything I see, I think of you and me.
01:27:43Oh, baby, won't you get with me?
01:27:46Uh-huh, yeah.
01:27:48You can be my lady.
01:27:50There's nothing that we can't do.
01:27:53Come and look me deep in the eyes.
01:27:59I'm gonna get with you.
01:28:02Even if it takes all night.
01:28:05That's right, yeah.
01:28:07And everywhere I go, I can't stop thinking of you.
01:28:12Oh, baby, won't you get with me?
01:28:17And everything I see, I think of you and me.
01:28:22Oh, baby, won't you get with me?
01:28:25Uh-huh, yeah.
01:28:28You've been such a big part of my life.
01:28:33I don't know what to say.
01:28:35I don't know why.
01:28:38I keep coming back for more.
01:28:42But you gotta show me what this love is for.
01:28:50I'm gonna get with you.
01:28:52I'm gonna get with you.
01:28:55I'm gonna get with you.
01:28:58I'm gonna take all my time.
01:29:02You're gonna be my baby.
01:29:05I'm gonna need a girl like you.
01:29:07And everywhere I go, I can't stop thinking of you.
01:29:12Oh, baby, won't you get with me?
01:29:17And everything I see, I think of you and me.
01:29:22Oh, baby, won't you get with me?
01:29:25Uh-huh, yeah.
01:29:27And everywhere I go, I can't stop thinking of you.
01:29:32Oh, baby, won't you get with me?
01:29:37And everything I see, I think of you and me.
01:29:42Oh, baby, won't you get with me?
01:29:45Uh-huh, yeah.
01:29:49Pack of smokes, come on.
01:29:51Make it snappy.
01:30:07Choke on them, punk.
01:30:10Choke.
01:30:18Choke.
01:30:20Choke.
01:30:22Choke.
01:30:24Choke.
01:30:26Choke.
01:30:28Choke.
01:30:30Choke.
01:30:32Choke.
01:30:34Choke.
01:30:36Choke.
01:30:38Choke.
01:30:40Choke.
01:30:42Choke.