• 2 months ago

Category

😹
Fun
Transcript
00:00A long time ago, on a cold, giftless beach, from an ice fortress high on the top of Mount
00:08Queen, Papa Santos filled up his bags full of toys to bring giftless magic to good girls
00:14and boys. He mounted his llama-drawn rickshaw and then, on Danny and Nixon, Rodrigo and
00:20Ben, he flew through the night with a town's car below, where a sick boy named Jack would
00:25wait for snow.
00:27Hooray! I want to see it snow! That's gonna be my giftless wish!
00:31Well, if you're good, Papa Santos just might make it happen.
00:34Bah humbug. I gotta run for you.
00:37Don't waste your time. This town's never seen snow. And it won't, cause Santos is a big fake.
00:41Uh, oh.
00:43This is not... He makes giftless wishes come true!
00:46Really? Well then, I wish Pacho was a big, fat, stinky llama-herder.
00:51Hey, it worked!
00:53All right, Cusco, that's enough.
00:55Look, kid, Papa Santos isn't real. If he was, I'd be emperor by now.
00:59Cause that's what I wish for every year.
01:01Cusco, why would you make a wish to someone you don't believe in?
01:04Uh, to prove it doesn't work? Duh.
01:07Well, I still believe in him.
01:09Fine, but you're wasting your time. The only two miracles you're gonna see this giftless are...
01:13Cusco's helpers.
01:15Observe.
01:20I think I proved my point.
01:23I do! I do!
01:29All right, almost done with my giftless shopping.
01:32How about you, Yara?
01:33I got me covered.
01:34Oh, it's all right once you get used to it.
01:36The only person left on my list is Cusco. But I have the perfect gift picked out for him.
01:40A cashmere pumpkin.
01:42That's a great gift idea.
01:44What in tarnation would you waste it on Cusco? He's more selfish than a pig in a trash heap.
01:49True.
01:51You always get him nice stuff like that. And what's he ever gotten you?
01:54Remember his last three presents?
01:57Another oversized picture of you.
01:59A giant spinning top.
02:03Cusco allegiance! Cusco allegiance! Cusco allegiance!
02:08Okay, you're right. I'd better keep looking.
02:16Uh, Chicha, you're out of chocolates again.
02:18Cusco! I found real proof that Papa Santos exists!
02:21See? He left you this purple fruitcake.
02:24Oh, Teepo. You poor misguided poor child.
02:28This is obviously a cake Yzma sent to turn me into some sort of animal.
02:32Look, notes even written on her stationery.
02:34Really? Yzma?
02:36Yeah, watch.
02:42Told ya.
02:43You see, Teepo, giftless is nothing but a stupid made-up holiday.
02:47Trust me, Papa Santos does not, cannot, and will not ever exist.
02:52I... I guess my gift-miss wish will never come true.
02:59I should be a parent.
03:00You wanted to see me, Principal Lansy?
03:02Yes! Come in, Kronk.
03:03Yeah, look, if you're wondering who ducked the holes you found, I got an insight.
03:08It was Holly!
03:10No, Kronk. My latest plan to destroy Cusco has inexplicably failed.
03:14How could he resist a deliciously chunky fruitcake?
03:17It's fruit! In cake form!
03:19You want to destroy Cusco?
03:21You know, you should meet my boss, Yzma.
03:24Kronk, you fool! It's me, Yzma!
03:27Ah!
03:29Sayidna.
03:30What are those infernal jingly things around your neck?
03:33They're jingle bells. Gets me in the holiday spirit. By jinglin'.
03:38Well, it's annoying. Cut it out or you're fired.
03:41Now, to the secret lab!
03:44Pull the lever, Kronk!
03:46Ooh, holiday themed.
03:50Beware, mortals, for this ride features ghouls and goblins.
03:54Oops, somebody put in the wrong tape.
04:01Hey, check this out!
04:03Look at that one!
04:05Oh, boy!
04:06It's magical!
04:14Is that mistletoe?
04:17All right, here's the new plan.
04:19First, we'll create a Cusco trivia game show.
04:22With trivia all about Cusco.
04:24Then you'll recruit Cusco to be a contestant on the show.
04:27He'll get all the answers right.
04:30And win the grand prize.
04:32A trip to snowy Mount Reeves!
04:34To see Papa Santos?
04:35No, to go to their world famous ski resort.
04:38I didn't know they had a ski resort.
04:39They don't.
04:40Once Cusco gets there, he'll be stranded in the snow.
04:43And have to gnaw off his own leg.
04:47It's brilliant!
04:48Okay, one major flaw.
04:50Cusco can just follow the candy cane trail and find...
04:53Papa Santos Magical Ice Fortress!
04:56There he'll feast on ginger snaps and warm pork nog.
04:59And then Papa Santos will give Cusco a magic hickory nut to transport him home.
05:03Poof!
05:04Kronk, there's no such thing as Papa Santos or any of that other junk.
05:07Yeah, right, no Papa Santos.
05:09Then who brings everyone presents on Giftmas Eve?
05:11Parents.
05:12Parents?!
05:14Like all those parents can fit in a flying rickshaw and deliver thousands of presents in one night.
05:19Right.
05:21Just do the plan, okay?
05:23Fine.
05:24But I'm going along.
05:25And getting to meet Papa Santos.
05:31Can't believe that cab played Giftmas music the whole ride here.
05:34I wanted this trip to get me away from Giftmas.
05:36You should be glad you're even here.
05:38How do you finish second in a trivia game show about yourself?
05:41Hey, that other guy really knew his Cusco.
05:43Yeah, lucky for you he couldn't make it.
05:45Is this part of my prize for winning?
05:48Alright, let's get to that resort.
05:50Don't want to keep the ski bunnies waiting.
05:53Uh, Kronk?
05:55Where's the resort?
05:56Okay, this is one of those good news, bad news deals.
05:59Bad news, there's no ski resort.
06:01Good news, we're going to see Papa Santos Magical Ice Fortress!
06:05Yay!
06:06That's why we're here?
06:07Uh-huh.
06:08To see Papa Santos?
06:09Uh-huh.
06:10Okay, just one small problem.
06:11There's no such thing as Papa Santos!
06:14Well, sure there is.
06:15We just got to find his candy cane trail.
06:17Do you see any candy canes?
06:18Because I'm looking around and all I see is snow.
06:21Ah.
06:22Well, the trail must have gotten snowed over.
06:24Okay, not a problem.
06:25Got a backup plan.
06:27Yuletide spinach puffs.
06:28Papa Santos smells the puffs, comes to get the puffs,
06:31takes us to his ice fortress.
06:33Problem solved.
06:35Where's your Papa Santos now?
06:38It's coming.
06:39What?
06:40I think I see something.
06:44Hey!
06:45Those aren't yours!
06:46Those aren't yours!
07:03Costco, wake up!
07:06Why are you dressed like an idiot?
07:07You mean, why are we dressed like idiots?
07:10Huh?
07:12Check it out!
07:17Yeah!
07:29Papa Santos Toy Factory!
07:42Yay!
07:43Papa Santos Magical Toy Factory!
07:45No way.
07:47Welcome, friends!
07:49Papa Santos!
07:50No way.
07:51This cannot be real.
07:52What is this?
07:53A fake beard?
07:54And a fake belly?
07:55And these gnomes are obviously chocolate.
08:00Well, I'll be.
08:01Teebo is right.
08:02Papa Santos!
08:03Papa Santos!
08:04I just want to thank you for always making my gift-miss wishes come true.
08:08Like the time I wished for all the animals to survive the winter,
08:11and the time I wished for a crate of yo-yos for all those starving children.
08:14Why would you waste your wishes on selfless junk like that?
08:17And more importantly, why haven't you ever granted me my gift-miss wish to become emperor?
08:21Simple.
08:22You're on the naughty list.
08:23Naughty?
08:24You take that back, or I'm giving this non-chocolate gnome a sleigh ride to Painesville.
08:29It's true.
08:30You've been number one on the list for three years.
08:35Well, at least I'm number one.
08:36Actually, that's a bad thing, Cusco.
08:38It's bad to be number one?
08:40What kind of backwards-y operation are you running here?
08:42You're missing the point.
08:43No one gets a gift-miss wish if they're on the naughty list.
08:46Okay.
08:47But if I get off the list, I can get my wish and become emperor, right?
08:50Well, I suppose.
08:52If you made up for everything.
08:54No problem.
08:55I still have 48 hours until gift-miss.
08:57How much stuff could there be?
08:59Huh.
09:00That's just volume one.
09:02Hark! The Savings Belt did ring!
09:04Hemp rides off!
09:05Our chicken wings!
09:07Meat mugs, too, for everyone!
09:09Their chocolate sodium!
09:12Yara, you're a vegetarian.
09:13Why did you order the chicken wings?
09:15I don't know. Catchy jingle.
09:17Oh, I almost forgot.
09:18I finally found the perfect gift for Cusco.
09:20A bottle of his favorite cologne.
09:22Condescension.
09:24Cologne?
09:25Have you lost your squash?
09:26It's too romantic.
09:27Means you want to be all sniffing up on him like a hound dog.
09:30Plus, it's still too nice.
09:31Fine.
09:32Why don't I just get him a two-Cusco-ing gift card to this place?
09:35Now you're talking, you go grab one up front.
09:37Just tell him I sent you.
09:39All right, I sold another gift certificate.
09:42Let's see what we got here.
09:44Stole school supplies.
09:45Drank straight from the milk carton.
09:47Released a plague of locusts to get out of detention.
09:49Man, you put everything on here.
09:51Well, better start at the top.
09:53Told Kavo I'd see his one-act play and never showed up.
09:56It long winter, but Kavo feel no cold.
10:00Only regret.
10:03So, despite what I told you before,
10:05stuffing a fish down your poncho does not attract the ladies.
10:09That explains so much.
10:13Anyway, to make it up to you, I baked you this cake.
10:15Thanks.
10:17Oh, and to make up for dropping that cake on the floor,
10:20I baked you this cake.
11:03There you are.
11:04Was our plan to destroy Kuzco a success?
11:06Did he know off his own leg?
11:07Nah, he's still alive and kicking.
11:09But we did get to meet Papa Santos.
11:11I even took pictures.
11:12Look.
11:13Here we are playing a pick-a-pick-a-ball game
11:15with Santos and his gnomes.
11:16And here we are standing next to the world's largest candy cane.
11:19And here we are eating the magic hickory nuts
11:22that transported us back home.
11:23Poof.
11:24What?
11:25Papa Santos is real?
11:26Yeah.
11:27He's a real-life Santa Claus.
11:29Poof.
11:30What?
11:31Papa Santos is real?
11:32And he's trying to pass that off as the world's largest candy cane?
11:35This is the world's largest candy cane.
11:38Uh, I'm not taking sides.
11:40Anyway, to get off Santos' naughty list,
11:42Kuzco's making up for all the bad stuff he did this year.
11:45Hmm.
11:46He must have been the one who sent me this novelty singing swordfish.
11:49I was happy as can be
11:51Just a-swimming in the sea
11:53Till she asked me on a date
11:55And I had to take the bait
11:58Swordfish.
12:01Long story short, if Kuzco finishes his list tonight,
12:03he gets his wish to become a bird.
12:05What?
12:06I probably should have told you sooner,
12:08but I had to scrapbook those photos.
12:13Well, then there's only one thing left to do.
12:15We must destroy Papa Santos.
12:17No!
12:19Wait, did you say destroy Roger Cantos?
12:21No, Papa Santos.
12:23Right, that's what I thought.
12:24No!
12:28Okay, let's see.
12:30I unpawned Pacha's wedding ring,
12:32cleaned the tar off those manatees,
12:34and now to make things up to Melina.
12:39Merry gift, Miss Melina.
12:41I got you a present.
12:42Oh, thanks. I got you something, too.
12:44Me first.
12:46I felt bad for always giving you such lousy gifts,
12:48so I got you this.
12:53It's an antique music box,
12:54just like the one your grandma used to play for you as a child.
12:56It's... it's perfect.
12:58Yeah, I know.
13:00So, what'd you get me?
13:03Uh, I'm still working on it.
13:05Typical.
13:07Well, I better get going.
13:08There's one more thing I gotta do tonight.
13:13And that's how the burly young emperor named Cusco
13:16learned that Papa Santos is indeed real.
13:19Oh, and also his gnomes are not made of chocolate.
13:21Yeah, right.
13:22Come on, you gotta believe me.
13:24It's the last thing on my list.
13:29You're just trying to trick me
13:30so you can make fun of me again.
13:32Nuh-uh.
13:33I really went to Papa Santos' ice fortress
13:35and saw his giant candy cane.
13:37Oh, and, uh, busted out a triple-double on his gnomes
13:40in a game of pick-up-ink-a-ball.
13:41Mm-hmm.
13:42You? A triple-double?
13:44Now I know you're lying.
13:47Aw, come on.
13:48If you believe me, I'll make you assistant emperor.
13:51Just leave me alone.
13:52I'll never have another happy give-miss again.
13:54Oh, well, that's a lost cause.
13:57Eh, maybe Santos will cut me some slack.
14:08Hey, Papa Santos.
14:09Don't do that.
14:10Seriously, I have medical issues, you know.
14:12Yeah, I just came by to tell you I did everything on my list,
14:15so if you could be a pal and make me emperor, that'd be great.
14:18Oh, wonderful.
14:19Now, just let me see your list.
14:21No, you don't need to see that.
14:23Cusco, you tore off the last item on your list.
14:26Takes one to know one.
14:27That doesn't even make sense.
14:28Look, I made up for all the other bad deeds,
14:30but Tipo's being a stubborn jerk
14:32and won't forgive me for ruining his give-miss.
14:34Now, I'm sorry, Cusco,
14:35but ruining a child's belief in give-miss is too big to overlook.
14:39But don't feel bad.
14:40Doing good deeds is its own reward.
14:43Hi-ya!
14:45What?
14:46What kind of stupid reward is that?
14:48I want to be emperor!
14:51At last, a chance to use my ice ray.
14:54I'll simply freeze Papa Santos into a block of ice
14:57so he can't make Cusco emperor.
14:59It's brilliantly appropriate!
15:01I do not support this plan,
15:03so I am staging a silent protest.
15:06Just gonna sit here.
15:08Completely silent.
15:11That'll teach ya.
15:14The silence is deafening, isn't it?
15:16Quiet!
15:17Papa Santos is coming.
15:19Gotta put his give-miss plans on ice.
15:27I can remain silent no more!
15:40Unwrap me, Kronk!
15:41Hang in there, Papa Santos!
15:46Lousy Papa Santos.
15:48I did all those worthless good deeds for nothing.
15:54Whoa.
15:55Looks like somebody put his give-miss plans on ice.
15:58Oh, no!
16:00Rodrigo!
16:01Why, he'll take hours to thaw out!
16:03How are we gonna make our give-miss deliveries on time?
16:06Wait a minute.
16:07Papa Santos, if I help you save give-miss,
16:08will you grant me my wish?
16:09Well, sure, but I don't see how you could...
16:14Ta-da!
16:15Thanks, but I'm not really hungry.
16:17Not for you.
16:20Have no fear. Everything's all right.
16:22I will lead your rickshaw tonight.
16:24Great!
16:25But, uh, Cusco, the thing is, you can't be lead.
16:28Oh.
16:29Oh, but we could use you in the back, behind the other llamas.
16:32Although I should warn you, it ain't pretty back there.
16:35Now let's get you into the magical harness.
16:39I'm coming, Papa Santos!
16:41And I brought spinach puffs to make it all better!
16:45He's okay!
16:46It's a give-miss miracle!
16:48Yay!
16:49Hi-ya!
16:50I'm Larry and Felton and Andy and Jen!
16:53Danny and Nixon and Cusco and Ben!
16:55Yeah, yeah, I'm going.
16:57And by the way, it really stinks back here.
16:59I think Felton stepped inside.
17:15Well, Cusco, that's it.
17:17And, uh, despite your constant complaints,
17:19we made all our give-miss deliveries on time.
17:22It was a lot easier once I quit trying
17:24and let the other llamas do all the work.
17:27In any case, you helped save give-miss.
17:29And now you can make your wish.
17:31I wish for a million more wishes.
17:33No, no, everyone tries that.
17:35You get one wish.
17:36Fine.
17:37Then I wish that I finally get to become...
17:40What? What was that?
17:41I guess my give-miss wish will never come true.
17:45I'll never have another happy give-miss again.
17:48Who drank all the pork nog?
17:51Wishes were meant to be shared.
17:53Oh, uh, sorry.
17:55I'm an amateur impressionist, you know.
17:57I got a killer dark rock if you want to hear it.
17:59Yeah, don't care.
18:00Wish time.
18:01Okay, but just remember, Cusco,
18:03there's a sad little boy out there
18:05who's not going to make it.
18:08There's a sad little boy out there
18:09who's not going to get his wish
18:11because he doesn't believe in give-miss.
18:15Come on, don't show me that.
18:17Okay, my wish is...
18:19My wish is...
18:22All right, fine.
18:24My wish is that you make it snow.
18:25Are you sure?
18:26Actually...
18:27Then let it snow!
18:38Oh!
18:45It's snowing!
18:46Huh? It's snowing here?
18:48It's a give-miss miracle!
18:52Is that Roger Cantos?
18:54No, it's Papa Santos!
18:57What are you doing here?
18:59I just came by to drop off Cusco
19:01and see if you're having a happy give-miss.
19:03It's the best give-miss ever!
19:05Thanks, Papa Santos!
19:07Don't thank me, thank Cusco here.
19:09He turned himself into a llama to save give-miss
19:12and then used his one wish to make it snow.
19:16Thank you, Cusco.
19:18All right, all right.
19:19This doesn't change my rule.
19:21No touching.
19:22You know, Tipo,
19:23there's still a few minutes before give-miss day
19:25and you haven't made your wish yet.
19:27Wait, he already got to see it snow.
19:29Now he gets another wish?
19:30Don't worry, Cusco.
19:31I'm going to use my wish
19:33to give you the one thing you really want.
19:35Really?
19:36Papa Santos,
19:37I wish that Cusco finally becomes...
19:42human again!
19:45What? Human?
19:47This isn't what I wanted.
19:48I wanted to be emperor.
19:49The llama potion was going to wear off in like ten minutes.
19:51What a rip!
19:52Well, there's always next year.
19:55Yeah, like Cusco could be nice for a whole year.
19:59Well, say, Papa Santos,
20:01why don't you come inside for some warm pork nog?
20:04Pork nog?
20:05That sounds wonderful!
20:07Heart, the same in spouted ring
20:11Half price of our chicken wings
20:15Meat makes two for everyone
20:18Their chunks full of sodium
20:22Oh, I'm so mad I could bite a gnome.
20:24I hate give-miss.
20:26Hey, Cusco.
20:27I'm sorry it took so long,
20:28but I finally finished your gift-miss present.
20:30Doesn't matter.
20:31Nothing's as good as being emperor.
20:33Now, close your eyes.
20:35Mwah!
20:36Huh?
20:38Woo-hoo-hoo-hoo!
20:43I love gift-miss!
20:45Feliz Papa Santos and a merry New Year!