Buffy The Vampire Slayer Season 5 Episode 11 Triangle
Buffy The Vampire Slayer Season 5 Episode 11 Triangle
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00:00Maybe human and sentient, too.
00:04Don?
00:05Okay, your mom's in recovery.
00:07Is she all right?
00:09I think your mother's going to be fine.
00:13I want to show you something harder.
00:23Love me.
00:24I've given you everything that I have.
00:26My heart, my body, and soul.
00:29I just don't feel it.
00:31They want me back, Buffy.
00:33The military.
00:35I'm leaving tonight.
00:44Riley!
00:55You ever have that feeling where there's something you know you're supposed to do
00:58and you forgot what it was?
01:02Nope.
01:03I've been having that feeling, and I just realized what it was.
01:07Like, three weeks ago, Riley asked me to borrow a Crescent wrench.
01:11I keep having this feeling like I'm supposed to give it to him.
01:15Well, that's not going to happen unless he comes back.
01:19You know, not to get the Crescent wrench.
01:21Just to come back.
01:23I just mean, sometimes I sort of forget that he's gone.
01:27It's like, where's Riley?
01:30Oh, wait, the Central Republic of where in the hell?
01:36Xander.
01:38If you ever decide to go, I want a warning.
01:43You know, big flashing red lights,
01:46and one of those clocks that counts down like a bomb in a movie.
01:51And there's a whole bunch of colored wires,
01:54and I'm not sure which is the right one to cut,
01:57but I guess the green one, and then at the last second, no, the red one.
02:01And then click, it stops with three-tenths of a second left,
02:04but then you don't leave.
02:07Like that, okay?
02:10Check.
02:12Big bomb clocked.
02:14Come here.
02:25Maybe it's her.
02:27Huh?
02:29Well, maybe it won't happen to us,
02:33because it's all about her messing things up.
02:36I mean, she couldn't make it work with Angel,
02:38and couldn't she let Riley go away?
02:41Yeah, relationship debris is kind of piling up on the Buffy highway.
02:46Hmm.
02:48Humans make the same mistakes over and over.
02:51I saw it when I was a vengeance demon.
02:54Some guy dumps a girl, she calls me,
02:56I exact vengeance, blah, blah, blah.
02:59The next year, same girl, different guy.
03:02I mean, after you smite a few of them,
03:04you start going, my goodness, young lady,
03:07maybe you're doing something wrong here, too.
03:10I don't think it's a pattern with her.
03:13No, it's just...
03:16You know, now that it happened again,
03:21man number two,
03:24I wonder how she's dealing with it.
03:27Oh, God.
03:29Sister Abigail, the fire is ready.
03:31Oh, thank you.
03:33Oh, thank you.
04:03Oh!
04:05Oh!
04:31What... what was that?
04:33He looked like a demon.
04:36Yeah, he did.
04:38Are you okay?
04:40I think so. Here.
04:46So, um,
04:49about being a nun,
04:51you know, with the whole
04:54abjuring the company of men,
04:57you know, how's that working for you,
04:59the abjuring?
05:02Um, good.
05:05Yeah, do you have to be, like, super religious?
05:09Well, uh, how's the food?
05:32Yeah.
06:02All right.
06:19Switch.
06:20Left lead.
06:26So you really think they might be able to help us?
06:29I mean, they're gonna help us find out something about glory.
06:33I saw that coming. You're dropping your shoulder.
06:37Now, the resources that the Watchers Council have at its disposal,
06:41I mean, the Central Library alone is...
06:44Don't talk about the books again.
06:47You get old.
06:49And sometimes there's drool.
06:51I'm sorry, but we've really exhausted the materials I have here,
06:55and we're coming up empty.
07:00You're still dropping your shoulder.
07:02I can see when you're gonna go right.
07:05You're doing it again.
07:08Sorry. Sorry.
07:11So, glory's all you're gonna talk to them about, right?
07:15Let's take a break.
07:17Answer me.
07:19I'm not gonna mention Dawn's name.
07:21I wouldn't do that, I promise.
07:24Bet you're gonna tell them about the key.
07:27You think glory's looking for something called the key?
07:30Well, knowing her goal is crucial.
07:34I mean, if anything helps them uncover her origins, her plans...
07:40I know.
07:41It's just I trust these Watchers about as far as you could throw them.
07:45Thank you very much.
07:49I'm just freaked about the idea of giving them any information
07:53that could possibly lead them to Dawn.
07:56I'll tell you, Buffy, if I saw an alternative...
07:59If the Initiative were still around, I'd consider using them,
08:04but they're gone, and Riley was the last link we had to the government.
08:13I'm sorry, I didn't mean to...
08:15It's OK.
08:17You can say his name.
08:21I'm doing all right.
08:23Bad things happen. People break up and they move on.
08:27For a while it feels like the end of the world, you know, but big picture.
08:32Not so huge.
08:35Not so huge?
08:37I just said it feels like the end of the world. Don't you listen?
08:44I'm teasing.
08:47Sort of.
08:49I'll be OK.
08:51I do hate to go if you're feeling badly.
08:54Look, if it helps you find out something about Glory,
08:58I'm thrilled to have you gone.
09:01You're going away for a week? That's great!
09:05Yes, yes, everybody seems delighted about it.
09:08Well, I get to run the store, right?
09:11You? Well, it's quite a lot for one person to take care of.
09:15I mean, the trash men, for example.
09:17They've been making such a mess in the back alley
09:20that the recycling people can't get in there to collect.
09:23Somebody has to talk to them.
09:25I can take care of that.
09:27I'm envious, Mr Giles. A trip to England sounds so exciting and exotic.
09:33Unless you're English.
09:35Don't worry about the shop. We'll take care of it.
09:38We can open and close and we'll deal with everyone.
09:41We can come by between classes.
09:43Usually I use that time to copy over my class notes
09:47with a system of different coloured pens.
09:50But it's been pointed out to me that that's, you know, insane.
09:55I say quirky.
09:57Hello, I work here. I'll take care of everything.
10:01Yeah, Anya can do it.
10:03Thanks, sweetie.
10:05It's Will's head.
10:08Anya, while I completely trust you
10:11to take care of the inventory and the money,
10:16dealing with people requires a certain finesse.
10:20I have finesse.
10:22I have finesse coming out of my bottom.
10:25I can completely lie to the health inspector.
10:28I can distract him with coy smiles and bribe him with money and goods.
10:32See there? Should be great.
10:34Don't worry, Giles. I'll help her take care of everything.
10:38It'll be ship-shape better. It'll be shop-shape.
10:42Xander, she's talking to Giles like I'm not here.
10:46Make her stop.
10:48Perhaps I'd better call you along.
10:50I'm just trying to help out. Xander, tell her.
10:52Schedule an earlier flight back. Excuse me.
10:54Tell her that I don't need her help.
10:58So, how goes the slaying?
11:00I killed something at a convent last night.
11:03In any other room, a frightening declaration.
11:06Here, a welcome distraction.
11:08Tell us all about the killing, Buff.
11:11Pretty standard. Vampire staking.
11:14Oh, but I met a nun, and she let me try on her wimple.
11:17Okay, now we're back to frightening.
11:29You.
11:31You with the actual clothing. Who are you?
11:34Dawn.
11:36Come look at this.
11:38It's hard to recognize me, huh?
11:41Whoa. No more bathrobe?
11:44I looked at it today,
11:46and there it was, all fuzzy and blue,
11:49and I just couldn't stand it anymore.
11:51I don't think the rest of us will miss it much either.
11:54It was getting a little ripe, Mom.
11:56Maybe we should burn it.
11:58It would keep the bugs away.
12:00It doesn't smell.
12:02Fine, fine.
12:04Make your funny jokes
12:06at the expense of the woman with a hole in her skull.
12:09Let's go.
12:11I think we've tired her out.
12:14Shh.
12:29What you doing?
12:31Playing soccer.
12:33Can I hang out in here?
12:36Don't touch anything.
12:44You took down his pictures?
12:47Yeah.
12:49I...
12:51I think I would have done that sooner.
12:54Like, boom.
12:56Don't want to see that face again.
12:59It wasn't like that.
13:02I was never angry with him.
13:05Okay.
13:07That's a lie.
13:10That's a lie.
13:13But it's not like I didn't want to see his face.
13:18I was just starting to kind of like the guy,
13:21and then... gone.
13:24So fast.
13:26It wasn't really so fast.
13:29Him leaving.
13:31According to everyone who isn't me,
13:34it was kind of gradual.
13:37Oh.
13:41Does that make it any better?
13:44No.
13:46Because you should have noticed earlier?
13:51Stop being insightful.
13:54It's creepy.
14:01It hurts.
14:04In all kinds of horrible ways.
14:08In the way where I'm furious at him.
14:12In the way where I blame myself.
14:15In all the little ways I imagine
14:18how I could have fixed things.
14:22It'll get better.
14:25Won't it?
14:28I hope so.
14:31Yes.
14:33It has to.
14:37I'll just keep going like I have been,
14:40and every day it'll get a little bit better.
14:44Really?
14:46Every day?
14:48Not really.
14:50But it'll be better soon.
14:53Still feels all sudden to me.
14:56With him gone, we're no one can talk to him.
15:00But you never know.
15:03Maybe he'll come back.
15:06Maybe he'll hate the jungle.
15:09Or maybe he'll want to give it another try.
15:15I could say all the things I didn't get to say.
15:20Um...
15:23There's something I've got to tell you
15:26about showing you Riley and that place.
15:31I didn't mean to...
15:37Anyway, I know you're feeling all betrayed.
15:40By him, not me.
15:43I was trying to help, you know.
15:46Not like I made him be there after all.
15:49Actually trying to help you.
15:52Best intentions.
15:55I mean, you know, pretty state you'd be in
15:58thinking things are all right
16:00while he's toddling halfway around the bend.
16:05Oh, I'll insult him if I want to.
16:09I'm the one who's on your side.
16:11Me.
16:13Doing you a favor.
16:15And you being dead petty about it.
16:18Me getting nothing but your hatred and your venom
16:21and your ungrateful bits!
16:23Fuck's sake!
16:34Fuck's sake!
16:36Fuck's sake.
17:01Buffy, there's something I wanted to tell you.
17:05Good. And...
17:07And Hellobore?
17:09It's up and to the right.
17:11Hellobore, one of my favorites.
17:13It's powerful stuff.
17:15I tried to use it to deride Amy and it didn't work.
17:19But I think it might have made her really smart.
17:22She keeps giving me these looks
17:25like she's planning something,
17:27rubbing her paws together.
17:30Hey.
17:32What are you two doing?
17:34Oh, we're going to try out a few spells.
17:37There's this thing you can do where you create light.
17:40And we thought, what if we could make, like, simulated sunlight?
17:43Yeah, so then, you know,
17:45there Buffy is, middle of the night.
17:48She finds this whole nest of vamps.
17:50And then she just goes,
17:52Presto!
17:54Only it won't be presto, exactly.
17:56And voomf!
17:58There's a floating ball of sunlight.
18:00Vamps get dusty.
18:02I don't want to look right at it, though.
18:04That's swell, but you can't use this stuff.
18:07Giles has only been gone two days
18:09and you're already causing trouble.
18:12You should do things while he's gone.
18:14Here are the fish.
18:16What?
18:18The fish in the bowl and the cat in the hat.
18:21He was always saying that the cat shouldn't be there
18:24while the mother was out.
18:26What are you talking about?
18:28It's a book. This cat does all this mischief.
18:31It's so cute. He balances a bunch of stuff,
18:34including that fish in the bowl.
18:37But don't try it for real when you're six,
18:39because then you're not allowed to have fish for five years.
18:42You're referencing literature I have no way to be familiar with.
18:46You're trying to make me feel left out, and you're stealing.
18:49I'm not stealing.
18:51I'm just taking things without paying for them.
18:54And what twisted dictionary is that stealing?
18:57Well, maybe we should just pay.
18:59I'm totally fine with this.
19:01Come on, it'll be fun.
19:03We could show you how to do some stuff.
19:06You could be floating pencils by the end of the day.
19:10Sometimes I miss having powers.
19:15Oh. Oh!
19:17I know what this is. This is peer pressure.
19:20Any second now you're going to make me smoke tobacco and have drugs.
19:24Look how easy.
19:30Hey, don't float the merchandise.
19:37Stop that!
19:39Hey, look at this. My two favorite girls.
19:42Three favorite girls.
19:44Sander, Wooler's stealing. She's a burglar.
19:47Right, the cunning, broad daylight-in-front-of-everyone burglar.
19:51Sander, I'm just doing a spell to help Buffy.
19:56Sander, Giles left me in charge. Tell her.
19:59Hey, hey, Judge Zander requesting a recess here.
20:02You really shouldn't pull him into this.
20:04Yeah, see? Tara's with me.
20:06Protect me, Tara.
20:09Sander, what I'm doing, it's a good thing.
20:12And if it doesn't work, Giles never even needs to know about it.
20:18Oops.
20:21The cash register.
20:23What did you do with the cash register, dear God?
20:26I'll fix it, I'll fix it.
20:28Recurse it.
20:32There, all back.
20:34Good as new.
20:36Money. Did you hurt the money?
20:38Money good?
20:40She endangered the money.
20:43Of course, that's what she cares about.
20:46I like money better than people.
20:48People can so rarely be exchanged for goods and or services.
20:53Sander, she's pretending to be me.
20:55Well, can you even believe how she's acting?
20:57Okay, you know what? I'm tired of being the one in the middle.
21:00I'm not going to let you pull me into this.
21:02I'm not.
21:04Whatever the issue is between you two, just figure it out without me.
21:09Sander, don't go.
21:12Sander, don't go.
21:21She made him mad.
21:23Me?
21:25Tara, who do you think he was more mad at?
21:28Um, you know, I think maybe...
21:32maybe you guys have some stuff you need to work out.
21:35You know, just really talk.
21:41Okay.
21:48Flea bane?
21:49Fifteen cents.
21:53Salamander eyes?
21:55Ten bucks for twelve.
21:57Bargain.
22:00Findweed.
22:01Ugh, that's a pricey one.
22:03Would you stop that? It's very distracting.
22:08Make your little ball of sunshine. I'll be quiet.
22:12Good, because this spell is very sensitive.
22:16Once I begin, any non-ritual word can disrupt it.
22:20Fine.
22:22Okay, here we go.
22:33Did you start yet?
22:35No.
22:37This is it.
22:41Spirits of light, I invoke thee.
22:45Let the gloom of darkness part before you.
22:49Let the moonlight be made pale by your presence.
22:54Spirits...
22:56Is it done?
22:57Shh.
23:00Spirits of light, grant my wishes.
23:04Sorry, I thought you were done.
23:06Do you want to screw this up?
23:09No, don't.
23:11I'm sure you can do that all on your own.
23:14Hey, Anya, whatever really has you mad, why don't you just say it?
23:18Like you do every other thought that stomps through your brain.
23:21I believe I have said it.
23:23No, you haven't. Come on.
23:26Let it out.
23:34Let it out.
24:05He's not a ball of sunshine.
24:13New semester, new classes,
24:16whole new vistas of knowledge to be confused and intimidated by.
24:21I think this one's going to be kind of fun.
24:23Greek art is going to touch on so many things,
24:26mythology and history and philosophy.
24:29The professor spit too much when he talked.
24:31It was like being at SeaWorld.
24:33The first five rows will get wet.
24:36That was just, you know, enthusiasm.
24:39It seemed very much like saliva.
24:42We'll zip farther back next time.
24:44Good plan.
24:46I need to keep this course.
24:48The only other thing that fits into my schedule
24:50is Central American geopolitics.
24:54And no thank you.
24:57I even hear the word jungle.
25:00All I can think of is him.
25:03You know, is that the one Riley's in?
25:07Really don't need a daily 2 o'clock knife in the heart.
25:11Is it that bad?
25:14Sort of.
25:16But I'm starting to get perspective on the whole situation.
25:19You know, maybe Riley's where he's supposed to be.
25:23You know, maybe he needed to be where he was needed.
25:26Willow says that things always happen for a reason.
25:30But you ever notice people only say that about bad things?
25:34But not for me, the furrowed brow.
25:37What do you say we go pick up Willow and indulge ourselves
25:39in a little after-school hamburger?
25:42I guess we could.
25:43She might still be at the magic shop.
25:45I was there earlier and she and Anya
25:47kind of got in this little squabble.
25:49Xander and I sort of cleared out.
25:50He was pretty upset.
25:53Anya and Xander are in trouble?
25:56Oh, no, I said that all wrong.
25:58It was nothing.
25:59Willow and Anya were sort of fighting
26:01and then Xander kind of snapped at both of them and he left.
26:04He left?
26:06Xander left Anya?
26:08Um, no, not left or left.
26:11He just left.
26:13It was only a little thing, really.
26:14Little thing?
26:16See, the thing is, little things get bigger, you know,
26:19and if you don't catch the little thing
26:22and then, boom, you have this whole huge thing.
26:27Not them with the little things.
26:30They can't break up.
26:32I think they have a beautiful love.
26:35I think they'll be fine.
26:39They have a miraculous love.
26:42What?
26:43A miraculous love.
26:50Where's that parked car?
26:51We're still on this trail.
26:53I don't even get how he made that guy.
26:56Wow, advanced.
26:58Someone made him.
27:00He must have been trapped in that crystal and you released him.
27:03I released him?
27:05No, this is definitely a we thing.
27:08Or a you thing.
27:10It definitely feels like a you thing.
27:12Look, just find the reversal spell.
27:15Hurry, look what he did to that lamppost.
27:18Fine, put the top up.
27:20The pizzas are all blowing.
27:22I don't know how to put the top up.
27:24I only just figured out what the left pedal does.
27:26It makes us stop.
27:30You don't know how to drive?
27:32Why didn't you say you don't know how to drive?
27:34Well, I couldn't know if I could until I tried, could I?
27:40This is very, very bad.
27:43There's an Oprah troll.
27:46There's a troll on the loose.
27:48Now, hold on, I'm going to press the right pedal harder.
27:51I expect us to accelerate.
27:56There's a troll on the loose and you're going to crash Giles' car.
28:00Likely, we're going very fast.
28:02You should have listened to me and not done a spell.
28:04Giles put me in charge.
28:06Giles can be an idiot.
28:08This more kind, but still.
28:10Xander agreed.
28:11Oh, right.
28:12Xander doesn't step out of line.
28:15What do you mean by that?
28:17Nothing.
28:23Find that stuff quickly.
28:25Oh, that's gone.
28:36Hey, what's it?
28:38Oh, it's you.
28:40Spike, don't let me stop you from not being here.
28:44I was here first, you know.
28:46Uh-huh.
28:48Go away.
28:54Now, why would I do that when it's bugging you so much having me here?
29:00They have chicken wings too.
29:02Also a sort of a flower-shaped thing they make from an onion.
29:05It's brilliant.
29:08Are you talking to me hoping that I'll get so depressed
29:10that I'll impale myself on a fork right in front of you?
29:13Lovely thought.
29:15If I don't hurt you myself, the chip wouldn't zap me.
29:18I could eat you that way.
29:20Beat the onion thing all to hell.
29:22Hey, those are mine.
29:26Why am I?
29:28Someone's in a temper.
29:30Is all sympathetic misery borrowed from the slayer?
29:35What?
29:37No, nothing to do with Buckley.
29:39So she's all right, then?
29:41Not, uh, holding grudges?
29:45What are you talking about?
29:47What does Buffy have to do with anything?
29:49What grudges?
29:51Oh, yeah, okay. No need to talk about it, then.
29:54I'm sure she's merrily slaying some pals of mine, having a grand old time.
30:00This is very bad.
30:02Willow?
30:04Anya?
30:05They're not back there, either. They're gone.
30:09Buffy, something's been here, and Willow's gone.
30:13Don't worry. We'll get her back. I promise.
30:17Come on. This thing's probably leading a huge trail.
30:21Ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha!
30:31Puny receptacle!
30:33Ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha!
30:37You do well to flee, townspeople.
30:41I will pillage your lands and dwellings.
30:45I will burn your crops and make merry sport with your more attractive daughters.
30:52Ha, ha, ha, ha. Mark my words.
30:58Ooh, ale.
31:01I smell delicious ale.
31:07They get in these fights, and they're both looking at me like I'm the referee.
31:11Also, sometimes I'll say something about Anya, and Willow will get this look.
31:15This, um, what-the-hell-have-you-seen-her look.
31:17I know that look. A lot of people never really got Drew, you know.
31:21She was insane.
31:23And then it's like, well, I get all torn.
31:27Because Willow's my best friend, and I really value her opinion, but Anya's my girlfriend, you know?
31:33What does a slayer think of all this friction in the ranks?
31:37That'd be good for morale.
31:40I don't know.
31:41She's a little preoccupied, maybe.
31:45It's understandable with all the upset.
31:47All the blaming of innocent bystanders got caught up in the mess.
31:51What?
31:52I mean, did she want to be made a fool of?
31:54And what does a person have to do to make it right?
31:57Hey, watch it, mate.
32:00Seconds or do we unite?
32:04Ale, yes.
32:06Fragrant ale.
32:11So, uh, think I should run and get Buffy?
32:22Barmaid, bring me stronger ale.
32:26And some plump, succulent babies to eat.
32:30I'm gonna run and get Buffy.
32:32Or maybe you can fight him.
32:34Yeah, I could do that, but I'm paralyzed with not caring very much.
32:38You there!
32:40Do you know where there are babies?
32:43What do you think, the hospital?
32:45What? Shut up.
32:47Um, listen.
32:49I find myself very hungry, and when I'm hungry, I grow short of patience.
32:55Well, we can take care of the hungry.
32:58So how's about you just sit down in one of the sturdier chairs,
33:01and we could have a calm talk and something to eat.
33:05Can it be babies?
33:07Well, not so much.
33:10But maybe some roast pigs and stags and much hearty grog.
33:19They've got this onion thing.
33:21You cannot appease me.
33:23Do not try.
33:25More ale!
33:29Xander, you shouldn't be here.
33:32There's a troll.
33:34A big guy? Hammer?
33:37I think I noticed him.
33:39I wish Buffy was here.
33:42I'm here.
33:44I wish I had a million dollars.
33:47Just checking.
33:49What's going on?
33:51Where did he come from?
33:54Hello, Buffy.
33:56Willow stole ingredients and released them from a purple crystal.
34:00He's a troll.
34:02You did this?
34:04Me? No, we.
34:06I mean, us. Her.
34:09It's very complex.
34:10We can stop him. Willow, do the spell.
34:15Let the conjuring be...
34:17Stop!
34:20Nobody lets me finish.
34:23You told the witch to do that on Yunka.
34:27You seem determined to put an end to all my fun,
34:30just like you always did when we were dating.
34:41You dated him?
34:43You dated a troll?
34:45And we're what, surprised by this?
34:48Well, he wasn't a troll then.
34:50He was just a big, dumb guy.
34:52And, you know, he cheated on me and I made him into a troll,
34:55which, by the way, is how I got the jobless vengeance.
35:02I did not cheat!
35:05Not in my heart.
35:07With only one wench.
35:10I had had a great deal of mead.
35:13Next thing I know, I'm a troll.
35:17You did this on Yunka.
35:20You will die for this.
35:22But, but, you seem to enjoy the...
35:25the being a troll.
35:28I adjusted.
35:30And then what happened?
35:32Witches.
35:33Filthy, dirty, disgusting witches.
35:36They trapped me.
35:38I was imprisoned in that crystal for centuries.
35:42A curse on all witches.
35:45All must die.
35:47Willow, again?
35:48Let the conjuring be undone.
35:50Return the beast to native...
35:52Witch, you must stop.
35:53Keep it far from us and ours as long as my voice shall sound.
36:03It did not work.
36:05Okay, wait.
36:06Let the conjuring...
36:15No!
36:45No!
37:04Where is he?
37:05Gone.
37:07Xander, follow him.
37:08Anya, Willow, head back to the magic shop.
37:10Find a spell that will actually stop him.
37:16Okay.
37:28What are you doing?
37:30Making this woman more comfortable.
37:33I'm not sampling or having her...
37:36I mean, look at all these lovely blood-covered people.
37:39I could, but not a taste for spite, not a lick.
37:42I knew you would like it.
37:46You want credit for not feeding off bleeding disaster victims?
37:51Well, yeah.
37:53You're disgusting.
37:58What's it take?
38:02Hurry up.
38:03I'm taking everything on relocation spells,
38:07suspension spells, and...
38:09What the heck?
38:10Spells to make him really sleepy because it's slightly better.
38:14Well, in case we need him,
38:16I'm getting more of all the things you stole.
38:18I didn't.
38:20Why do you do that?
38:21What?
38:22You're so rude.
38:24I mean, sure, at first, ex-demon.
38:27Doesn't know the rules.
38:28Well, you've been here forever.
38:29Learn the rules.
38:31Rules are stupid.
38:33Great.
38:34Whatever.
38:36I thought you might be interested in learning to act more human.
38:40Some of us enjoy it.
38:42Oh, look for spells with dimensional portals, too.
38:46I am a human.
38:48And there are many humans who are stranger than me.
38:52Uh-huh.
38:53But unless I'm really wrong about Crazy Larry down at the bus stop,
38:57he's probably not going to turn Xander into a troll.
39:00Well, now, that's a very complicated procedure.
39:04Oh.
39:06You think I'm going to hurt Xander?
39:09I would never hurt Xander.
39:13You really think I would do that?
39:15Anya, it's what you do.
39:17You spent, what, a thousand years hurting men?
39:20You got your thousand years of hurting men gold watch?
39:24Who's a demon then?
39:26And I don't even have any powers now.
39:28Is this the spell?
39:30It's only if you want him to double in size and grow extra arms, which let's not.
39:35And by the way, you weren't a demon when you turned Olaf into Lord of the Hammers,
39:40and you managed that.
39:43Also, there's other ways to hurt Xander.
39:47I don't do magic now.
39:49You're the one with that kind of power.
39:51In fact, a hot friend offered you my old job.
39:54You're closer to being a vengeance demon than I am.
39:57Maybe Xander should be afraid of you.
39:58Xander's my best friend.
39:59Oh, and you don't want anyone else to have him.
40:02I know what broke up him and Cordelia, you know.
40:05It was you.
40:06And your lips.
40:07No, it was not.
40:10Well, yes, it was so, but that was a long time ago.
40:14Do you think I'd do that again?
40:16Why not?
40:17Well, hello, gay now.
40:20But you're always doing everything you can to point out how much I'm an outsider.
40:24You've known him since you were squalling infants together.
40:27You always know him better than I do.
40:29You could sweep in and poison his mind against me.
40:32You're insane.
40:33I am not going to take him away, and I am not going to hurt him.
40:37Well, I'm not either.
40:45I knew it.
40:47You two performing more spells.
40:51I could be out pillaging, devouring babies,
40:55getting married with the local virgins.
40:57But instead, I had to come all the way back here to kill you.
41:03Run!
41:14Now, get away from them!
41:19I will get away from them after I kill them.
41:22You are not touching these women.
41:26Huh?
41:44You wish for more?
41:46Admirable.
41:55Huh?
42:18You fight well, although you are a tiny man.
42:26I shall reward you.
42:29Only one of your women shall die,
42:32and you shall be the one to choose.
42:45What did he just say?
42:47Choose.
42:48Anyanka or the witch.
42:50One of your women must die.
42:54No.
42:57You are one crazy troll.
42:59I'm not choosing between my girlfriend and my best friend.
43:02That's insane troll logic.
43:04Go Xander. I love you.
43:08Good for you.
43:10You are a loyal man.
43:15Xander!
43:17Now, choose.
43:20Olaf, no!
43:21I'm not choosing.
43:23Then you shall be the one who dies.
43:27No!
43:28Choose me.
43:30Just don't take him.
43:32Don't take Xander.
43:35You can expect to have yet.
43:37Monstrum.
43:41Damn.
43:43Buffy!
43:44Terra, stay back.
43:46Buffy, the hammer. Strengthen the hammer.
43:52Buffy.
43:59How can I help?
44:01Distract him from Buffy.
44:03Piss him off.
44:04I don't know how.
44:05Anya, I have faith in you.
44:07There is no one you cannot piss off.
44:12Hey, Olaf!
44:14You're as inadequate a troll as you were a boyfriend.
44:19Effie, you're hairy and unattractive,
44:23and even the women trolls are put off by your various odors.
44:27Instrumentum multionis.
44:29Tellum fabuloso.
44:31Sergei. Sergei.
44:33To rom provoca.
44:37And his dance is merely mildly alarming.
44:44And your roar is less than full-throated.
44:47Desist!
44:50By God, woman.
44:52It's been a thousand years,
44:54and yet you are as aggravating and emasculating as ever you were.
45:01Ola cum erbustum noctum noce.
45:14Hey, good job.
45:15Good job.
45:16You too, very irritating.
45:19So, your powers and your hammer?
45:31Oh, yeah.
45:33I forgot he still has all that troll strength.
45:36You shall all die.
45:38I will dispense no mercy now.
45:46No!
45:53What are you fighting for, minuscule Plondon?
45:56Your friends?
45:58These two?
46:00They will never last.
46:03Anyanka is very difficult to live with.
46:07And he...
46:09He's ludicrous and far too breakable.
46:13Their love will never last.
46:28She's got him now?
46:31Poor baby.
46:36You really dated him?
46:39Yes.
46:40But you liked him better.
46:42Yes.
46:43Oh, and Willow likes you too, but not in a sexy way.
46:46You know, because she's gay.
46:49And she's not going to try to break us up, so, you know, it's all okay.
46:52Their love will last forever.
47:01The transposition be complete.
47:06Where did you send him?
47:08The land of the trolls.
47:10He'll like it there. Full of trolls.
47:13It's hard to be precise, though.
47:15Alternate universes don't stay put.
47:18Trying to send him to a specific place is sort of like...
47:22Like trying to hit a puppy by throwing a live bee at it.
47:27Which is a weird image, and you should all just forget it.
47:31It's possible that he's in the land of Perpetual Wednesday.
47:35Or the crazy Melty Land.
47:37Or, you know, the world without shrimp.
47:39There's a world without shrimp?
47:42I'm allergic.
47:44He's probably in troll land.
47:47I only care that he's not here, and I got this nifty souvenir.
47:53Oops.
47:55The place is trash enough, anyway.
47:58But see how well things worked out?
48:02And look at you guys.
48:04So good and alive and...
48:08Together.
48:10So...
48:12Together and...
48:15Together.
48:18So...
48:20Together and...
48:22Good and...
48:25Alive.
48:27Oh, God.
48:29I'm... I'm just so happy for you.
48:39I cringe to think what the place would have looked like
48:41if I'd been away for longer than three days.
48:44Well, maybe we would have had time to clean it up.
48:46You know, if Will had used some magics to help.
48:49Yes, because nothing could possibly go wrong with that.
48:53Rupert, I still don't understand...
48:56Oh, thank you.
48:58Why the other Watchers made you go all the way to England
49:02when they don't know anything?
49:06Well, they don't know it yet.
49:09I mean, they had no record of Glory or anyone like her.
49:13But based on the information that I've given them,
49:15they're going to look into it.
49:19They might have something soon.
49:22What about the key? Are they all over it?
49:26Yes.
49:28You know all of this?
49:30I got some of it myself. Buffy told me the rest.
49:35Well, they're interested, certainly.
49:38And full of theories.
49:41Most of them are nonsensical.
49:46They don't know that it's Dawn?
49:49No.
49:51Oh, I still can't even begin to grasp this.
49:55She's my little girl.
49:57It is disorienting.
50:00Charles, what happens if they figure it out?
50:03What would they do?
50:06I don't know.
50:10Oh, I can't even think about this. It's too...
50:15I'll get some more milk.
50:40Grr. Arrgh.
51:10You