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Short filmTranscript
00:00Now we review the film, I Can't Believe It's Not Megan. I mean, Subservants.
00:07Subservants with Megan Fox.
00:10Alright, ladies and gentlemen, I believe this is a direct-to-video, possibly direct-to-streaming release of a film called Subservants,
00:19which is very similar, in an eerie way, to the film Afraid, in that it is about AI,
00:25only in this one, the AI is played by Megan Fox, and is hot, and fully anatomically correct.
00:39Okay, look, you're not going to make a movie where there's a robot that looks like Megan Fox,
00:44that's fully anatomically correct, that people are not supposed to bang.
00:48That's just weird. Who thought of this? This is weird.
00:52Anyway, for every 1,000 subscribers I get, I do purchase one of these bracelets from 4ocean.
00:584ocean pulls a pot of trash out of the ocean every time I do that.
01:01You'd be so kind as to comment, like, and subscribe. You'd be doing your part for a better world.
01:05Now, we have, this movie is about a family. There is a mother, a father, and two children.
01:11There's the infant son and the daughter, and mommy is going through some really bad stuff.
01:16She needs a heart transplant. In a world where androids, robots that look like people,
01:28are so people-like that you can easily confuse them for real people and bang them.
01:35So because daddy has got some issues with mommy being in the hospital, he buys a Megan Fox robot
01:45to take care of his children.
01:55The biggest hole in this movie, the biggest hole in the plot in this movie,
01:59is that these things are cheaper than people, okay?
02:03Now, in Alien Romulus, a recent movie that you may probably have seen,
02:09it dealt with the concept of these machines that from a distance look like people,
02:15but you can't bang them.
02:19Which, you know, it makes sense. Most of these robots, at least in the iterations of Alien I've
02:25seen, tend to be dudes, tend to be not so bangable. I mean, I guess I'm not a connoisseur of dudes,
02:32but they've never, well, I guess maybe Guy Pearce is a statement of physical male beauty,
02:38but I wouldn't know. But I mean, other than the Winona Ryder one from the fever dream that is
02:43Alien 4, or Alien Resurrection, you know, no, not so bangable.
02:52But the thing is that if these things are cheaper than people, then why are we using people for
02:56anything? We would be using these machines. In this world, apparently, it's cheaper to get a
03:04fully functional robot that's stronger than a human being and can work 24-7 than to get a nanny.
03:11And no, that's dumb. These things are expensive. They're hard pieces of tech. It's really
03:21difficult to make these machines as strong as human beings and this lifelike, all right?
03:28There's a lot of tech that goes into these things. So right there, the movie, I mean,
03:34basically, they're making it data. And I mean, even data had its technological issues.
03:41So there's even a part in this movie where the guy notices that this robot, this android,
03:49has a pulse, just like data. If you remember from Star Trek, data has a pulse, data has a
03:58respiratory system, and data can have sex, all right? And why you make a robot that can do that?
04:05Obviously, you're weird. I mean, I'm not judging. It's not illegal. There's nothing wrong with that.
04:12But somebody made a data to bang the data. And in this, they made a data that looks like Megan
04:18Fox, only it's more of a lure in that, you know, chick just can't even. So yes, as expected,
04:29this chick is everything you ever dreamed of, only not. And at some point,
04:37her ability to protect her primary user becomes dangerous to non-primary user type people,
04:45right? And there's a lot in this particular film about AI taking over. I mean, the guy works for a
04:54construction company, they replace his crew with a bunch of robots. And it's like, for some reason,
05:00these construction robots have to look like people. I know that in reality, this is a
05:05budgetary constraint, it would be difficult to get, you know, robots that don't look like people,
05:15you'd have to give them more elaborate makeup, you might have to put gloves on their hands,
05:20and teach them how to robot around to make things. And there's a lot about the fear that, you know,
05:27our jobs are being taken over by robots. And I can tell you this much, you know, I remember back in
05:34around the turn of the century, I never actually worked there myself. But there was a loading dock
05:40that kept trying to get me to work at it paid too little, I was working for a company that serviced
05:46that contract. And you know, they turned around and they modernized and they got security cameras
05:52and sensors, and they got rid of their guard program. Okay, so this is something that has
05:57literally happened to me, where jobs have disappeared that were open to me, because
06:03they were technologically removed. Okay. And yeah, it's a very scary thing in this particular
06:12modern world, that, you know, these things are happening. But this movie, you know, it's not
06:21terrible. But I mean, there is this sudden question, is having sex with this robot,
06:38the same as say, using a sex toy? I mean, the robot has a personality, it has a face, it is
06:45unique to itself. But there are ethical questions here.
06:54And they're not answered. They're left open, which is a good thing, because we should,
06:59we should probably ask ourselves these questions. But I'm just making the statement that if I had
07:04myself a Megan Fox robot, it would probably be cleaning in the nude, I mean, or maybe in a
07:11bikini or something depends on how realistic it is. But I mean, look, you're not making a robot
07:23that looks like Megan Fox, for for reasons we don't understand. You know, if you want a robot
07:30to cook and clean and look after the children, you don't want it to look that human. That's weird.
07:38And yet there are still people that would be into that. But I mean, again, not judging.
07:44But the the two human concept is something that's been examined by psychology. Anyway, so
07:56to be clear, this movie is rated R, and there's a reasonable amount of sexuality and violence
08:05that would make this movie deserving of a light R rating. All right. It's better than Afraid,
08:11which is kind of the movie it's competing with or slash going along with. And I mean, if if I had
08:18the choice of watching one or the other again, I would obviously watch this one because it's a
08:23faster paced film with better characters, stronger visuals, and a much more clear and understandable
08:32plot. They're essentially the same film, a film about A.I. and its dangers. But
08:41one is simply more compelling than the other. One has more of the things I'm looking for.
08:47If you're hoping for a lot of nudity and sexuality,
08:51that is not this film. There is a reasonable amount of it, but
08:56I mean, it's not it's not a central focus. It is something that is there in the film to exist.
09:05It's very much most of it. PG-13 glance shots that, you know, they're not they're not going to
09:14titillate, as one might say. So if you're looking for that, that's not in this film.
09:20I don't think this film needs that to be a good film. I mean, you know, Megan Fox is hot. You
09:25want to see her running around. She's hot. The mom, you see more of her body, really, than Megan
09:32Fox. And she's not a bad looking lady. And I felt that, you know, it was tastefully done in this
09:38film. You know, it was not gratuitous in any way. And it did make sense. So, you know, it fit in
09:45well. So this movie, it is the middle of your watch list. I'm gonna say maybe even upper middle,
09:50particularly if you're a horror geek who loves sci-fi like me. I don't believe it's being
09:56released in theaters. I mean, I have a dubious copy of Dubious Legality. And I have to say,
10:02you know, solid enough film. It could have played in theaters. It probably would have
10:09gotten panned if it was played in theaters. But it is of a high enough quality to be a B movie
10:14in theaters. Anyway, that is just my opinion. And I'd love to hear yours down in the comments below.
10:19I, of course, am Richard. Greetings, humans! Your old pal Randall here again, reminding you to comment,
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