Breaking up with co-stars, anxiety attacks on press tours, and a very lonely childhood. Despite considerable success in more than 20 years of acting, Penn Badgley's life hasn't all been smooth sailing.
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00:00Breaking up with co-stars, anxiety attacks on press tours, and a very lonely childhood.
00:06Despite considerable success in more than 20 years of acting,
00:09Penn Badgley's life hasn't all been smooth sailing.
00:12Penn Badgley is known for playing serial killer Joe Goldberg on the Netflix series You and for
00:17portraying Dan Humphrey on the original Gossip Girl. Both seemed like great gigs, but Badgley
00:21had a difficult time with both characters. Badgley initially hoped that his role on You
00:26would spark some thoughtful conversations among viewers. In a 2018 interview with Vulture,
00:30he admitted,
00:31"'I don't like Joe. A lot of actors like saying,
00:33"'Don't judge a character. You might fall in love with him.' Not me.
00:37It took every ounce of my capacity to do my job."
00:40It turned out that fans were actually enamored with Joe,
00:42viewing him as someone risking it all for love. Badgley told Entertainment Weekly,
00:46"'I think all of my fears were confirmed.' For instance,
00:49the devilish charm of Joe almost painting over his lethality."
00:52"'I'd say they, um, like Joe too much.'"
00:57When it came to Badgley's role as Dan Humphrey on Gossip Girl,
01:00it wasn't so much that he hated the character, but that fans came to think he was his character.
01:05The actor told Vulture,
01:06"'It's not that I don't like Dan Humphrey. It's just, after a while,
01:09you're known as somebody that you're just not, and this is somebody who I so am not.'"
01:13Additionally, Badgley grew frustrated with the convoluted nature of the show's plotlines,
01:17telling Vulture,
01:18You start with something real, and it eventually becomes, against all odds,
01:22how do these six people still hang out every day? It's crazy."
01:26Having to work with an ex is rarely good. When you're working on a hit TV show and
01:30millions of viewers are just as invested in your personal life as they are your characters,
01:34it's likely excruciating. Penn Badgley and Blake Lively began dating in 2007,
01:39just like their Gossip Girl counterparts, Dan Humphrey and Serena Vanderwoodsen.
01:43However, the romance between the characters outlived the real-life relationship between
01:47Badgley and Lively, who broke up in 2010. To add insult to injury, Lively went on to marry
01:52Ryan Reynolds while Gossip Girl was still filming. When asked if he sent the happy couple a wedding
01:56gift, Badgley simply revealed that he didn't. He did explain that his relationship with Lively
02:01was valuable and that they handled the breakup with professionalism, telling Elle,
02:05We were very much caught up in the show, which itself was a six-year endurance test.
02:09Our relationship was a part of that and helped us through it."
02:12Still, when asked to name his best and worst on-screen kisses,
02:15Badgley seemed pretty fixated on Lively. He named her as the best, telling Us Weekly in 2015,
02:21I'll say it was Blake because we actually had a relationship at the time."
02:24And his worst on-screen kiss, the actor told Us Weekly,
02:26Maybe Blake after we broke up. Apparently, he still had a little of that lonely boy energy
02:31at the time. Anyone who has ever had an anxiety attack knows it can be a terrifying experience.
02:37Sadly, it was something Penn Badgley had to go through when the fame he garnered
02:41through both Gossip Girl and You became overwhelming. The actor was in Manila promoting
02:45You when he was bombarded by thousands of fans in a mall. Speaking on actor Rainn Wilson's podcast,
02:50Badgley revealed,
02:51I had an anxiety attack that press trip. And I'm not a person who has that. I mean,
02:55look, I have anxieties, I think. I'm human."
02:58The pressures of being in the public eye had clearly caught up with the actor.
03:01In a 2021 interview, Badgley reflected on his Gossip Girl days,
03:05revealing that public scrutiny was not something he was prepared for. As he explained to Vulture,
03:10People were not talking about mental health then, not in the celebrity sphere.
03:14Penn Badgley began his acting career at a young age, having graduated high school
03:18at 13 to focus on work. However, he was not exactly an overnight sensation.
03:22Badgley had plenty of one-off roles in TV shows such as What I Like About You,
03:26as well as a 10-episode stint on The Young and the Restless. By the time Gossip Girl came around,
03:31he had already done so much TV work that he initially turned down the role of Dan Humphrey.
03:35His fear of being typecast kept him from wanting the part, but that wasn't all,
03:39as he told Vulture,
03:40I was frustrated, and I was broke, and I was depressed, and I was like,
03:44I cannot do that again. I can't."
03:46"...and I was like, you know, he's a murderer!"
03:48Despite Badgley's reservations, he ended up taking the role when he
03:52realized the alternative was becoming a waiter. While Badgley acknowledges his
03:55luck at having had such an opportunity, he has also revealed that living in Los Angeles
03:59and striving for success really got him down. He told The Guardian,
04:03Over time, we actors all become very cynical and depressed,
04:06having to audition endlessly in L.A. It's such a singular mindset. Everyone has a script to sell
04:11you. During his formative years, Penn Badgley was dedicated to becoming an actor, as he told
04:16The Guardian,
04:17When I was 12, the roles I was playing weren't the cool guy. I'm known for playing awkward people,
04:21but I had to look like I had my s**t together in front of a casting director.
04:25The kind of insecurity I experienced was heightened."
04:28Badgley also revealed that as a pre-teen, he was quiet, insecure,
04:31and a little lonely because he was an only child. He told Vanity Fair,
04:35The first concert I ever went to was the Puff Daddy No Way Out tour. I was like 10 or 11,
04:40and I went with my parents because no one would go with me."
04:43After being in the industry for some years,
04:45Badgley had a revelation that changed his outlook, telling Vanity Fair,
04:48For the next 15 years, I would be convinced it was me. And then finally,
04:52in my late 20s, I was like, it's not just me. It's all this.