Band Waggon is a 1940 British comedy film directed by Marcel Varnel and starring Arthur Askey, Richard Murdoch and Moore Marriott. It was based on the BBC radio show Band Waggon.
Arthur Askey and Stinker Murdoch, two out-of-work performers, are living on the roof of the Broadcasting House in Central London. After being called in for an audition with the BBC three months before, they were forgotten about and settled down to live there waiting for their big chance. One day an item from their clothes line falls and hits Claude Pilkington, a senior figure at the BBC, who has them evicted. They are forced to pack up all their belongings and leave.
Source: Wikipedia
Arthur Askey and Stinker Murdoch, two out-of-work performers, are living on the roof of the Broadcasting House in Central London. After being called in for an audition with the BBC three months before, they were forgotten about and settled down to live there waiting for their big chance. One day an item from their clothes line falls and hits Claude Pilkington, a senior figure at the BBC, who has them evicted. They are forced to pack up all their belongings and leave.
Source: Wikipedia
Category
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Short filmTranscript
00:00:00🎵
00:00:17🎵
00:00:24Hi there, girl!
00:00:26🎵
00:00:45🎵 Bandwagon, come on and make it rip 🎵
00:00:47🎵 Upon the bandwagon, it's a wild one 🎵
00:00:50🎵 It's the bandwagon, come on and make it rip 🎵
00:00:52🎵 And join the bandwagon, starting now, boy 🎵
00:00:55🎵
00:01:06🎵 Travel on the bandwagon 🎵
00:01:08🎵 Come on and make it rip 🎵
00:01:09🎵 Upon the bandwagon, it's a wild one 🎵
00:01:12🎵 Take a drink, wag your drink 🎵
00:01:14🎵 Join the bandwagon, starting now, boy 🎵
00:01:17🎵
00:01:37Morning, gentlemen.
00:01:38We have an audition with Mr. John Pilkington.
00:01:40With the six cheddar-bag flies?
00:01:41Oh, yes. Room 23, third floor.
00:01:44Mr. Pilkington's on his way now.
00:01:46That's ten bands Mr. Pilkington's got to shear this morning.
00:01:49Yes, isn't it a pity he hates music?
00:01:53And take this note to the outside broadcast department.
00:01:56During the Derby commentary on National,
00:01:58I noticed that the word can't was used on three occasions.
00:02:01Kindly note that the word is cannot.
00:02:03I can't think where these fellows are educated.
00:02:06Any more mail?
00:02:07Yes, Mr. Pilkington.
00:02:08Here's a prepaid telegram from that Mr. Jack Hilton.
00:02:10Oh, what does he want this time?
00:02:11He still wants an audition, sir.
00:02:13Dammit, man, we've already told him he's got to wait his turn.
00:02:15There are 500 bands who want auditions.
00:02:17Why should he have his before the others?
00:02:19Yes, sir.
00:02:20He says, as you can't give us an audition tomorrow,
00:02:22would you drop in and hear us at my Jack-in-the-Box Roadhouse,
00:02:25which you pass on your way home?
00:02:27Fertile ignorance.
00:02:28What shall I say in reply, sir?
00:02:30We're allowed nine words.
00:02:31Use only one.
00:02:32No.
00:02:38There you are, Mr. Pilkington.
00:02:39What about giving me an audition with the microphone?
00:02:41How dare you let these people test me like this?
00:02:43What?
00:02:45What the deuce is this?
00:02:47They appear to be combinations, sir.
00:02:49Where do they come from?
00:02:56Good heavens!
00:02:57I've seen it on the BBC.
00:02:59Who's responsible for this sacrilege?
00:03:00I've got no idea, sir.
00:03:01Find out. Go up there and report to me.
00:03:03Yes, sir.
00:03:04Find out who's using the top floor and come to meet me in my office.
00:03:06Hello.
00:03:13Hello.
00:03:25What the...
00:03:27Good morning, everybody.
00:03:29In exactly two seconds,
00:03:30you will be hearing the time signal denoting 10.30.
00:03:37Wake up, Arthur. It's half past 10.
00:03:39Come on, wake up.
00:03:43When it's your own fault, you should shut up when you're told.
00:03:48Come on, Bid, wake up.
00:03:49Mrs. Bagwash will be here soon to do for us.
00:03:51Come on.
00:03:52Oh, half a minute.
00:03:53Let me finish my dream.
00:03:54Get up, you lazy little man.
00:03:56It's time to do our daily dozen.
00:03:58You do 24.
00:03:59I'm a bit tired.
00:04:00Come on.
00:04:01Oh, Stinky,
00:04:02you are unkind interrupting my lovely nightmare.
00:04:06Never mind your nightmare.
00:04:08Now, oh, do listen.
00:04:09It's ever so interesting.
00:04:10Well, what do you think?
00:04:11Well, I dreamed I went to Wembley,
00:04:12and there were no dogs and there wasn't any hair.
00:04:14No hair?
00:04:15No.
00:04:16And instead of the hair,
00:04:17they had my sweetheart, Nausea.
00:04:18Oh, she looked ever so pretty.
00:04:20And she was being chased by a lion.
00:04:23Well, go on.
00:04:24What happened?
00:04:25Well, that's just it.
00:04:26You won't believe what I saw.
00:04:27What did you see?
00:04:28I saw a lion.
00:04:29A lion?
00:04:30Well, that's just it.
00:04:31You woke me up,
00:04:32and now I shall never know whether the lion escaped
00:04:34or whether Nausea ate him.
00:04:35Ate the lion?
00:04:36Well, you know what an appetite she's got.
00:04:38Oh, Lummy, it's gone half past ten,
00:04:40and we've missed the changing of the guard again.
00:04:42Oh, and I did so want to see the soldiers.
00:04:44Well, I don't know about you,
00:04:45but I want some breakfast.
00:04:47I wonder if Henrietta's laid us an egg this morning.
00:04:49Oh, it does seem a shame robbing Henrietta
00:04:51of her poor little egg.
00:04:52It's no robbery.
00:04:53She's finished with it.
00:04:54I say, Stinky.
00:04:55I'll have.
00:04:56Who used this razor last?
00:04:57I did, last night.
00:04:58Well, you've done a fine thing.
00:04:59It's been reversed,
00:05:00and it's pushing your whiskers back in my face.
00:05:02Don't be a silly little man.
00:05:03Come up on the roof and have your morning run.
00:05:06You know what Miss Stack said?
00:05:08You'll have to wait till I change.
00:05:30Oh, come on, Big.
00:05:31Don't fool about.
00:05:32How about I'll run round the roof?
00:05:33Oh, let me do it by myself.
00:05:34See how long I take.
00:05:35All right.
00:05:36On your marks, set, go!
00:05:40Who is this Waterston, anyway?
00:05:42Hello, Louis.
00:05:43Here.
00:05:44I'll tell you when I'm ready.
00:05:45Well, Louis, aren't you looking homesick?
00:05:49What have we got for breakfast?
00:05:50Morning, Cock.
00:05:51Now, then, Henrietta,
00:05:52what have you got for us this morning?
00:05:53Oh, look, Big.
00:05:54Look what Henrietta's laid for your breakfast.
00:05:56Was all that for me?
00:05:58You naughty girl.
00:05:59You've been slacking again.
00:06:00Gerald, your missus is suffering from night starvation.
00:06:03Never mind, Big.
00:06:04We'll put them together and scramble them.
00:06:05No, no.
00:06:06Fair's fair.
00:06:07Big-hearted Arthur, that's me.
00:06:08We'll boil them as usual.
00:06:09Now, put them in the tin
00:06:10while I get the sun down to time the wind.
00:06:12All right.
00:06:16Ready?
00:06:17No, no.
00:06:18Just a minute.
00:06:19Wait till the shadow gets on the line.
00:06:23Oh, blow.
00:06:24Now the sun's gone in.
00:06:25Never mind.
00:06:26We'll have to sing the chestnut tree.
00:06:27That's right.
00:06:28Four verses for hard and three for soft.
00:06:30Are you ready?
00:06:31Yes.
00:06:32Then go, please.
00:06:33Oh, underneath the spreading chestnut tree,
00:06:36Big and Stinker must agree.
00:06:40You're going to bring me a cock-and-bull story like that?
00:06:42It's unthinkable.
00:06:43Now, tell me, where did you say this led you?
00:06:45In this room, sir.
00:06:46R27.
00:06:47R27.
00:06:48Is that a studio?
00:06:49No, sir.
00:06:50It's a rehearsal room, sir.
00:06:51Not often in use, sir.
00:06:52Do you know anything about this?
00:06:53No, sir.
00:06:54We don't use that.
00:06:55It's used for outside broadcast.
00:06:56Oh, no, pardon me.
00:06:57We've never been on that floor.
00:06:58It's used by in town tonight.
00:06:59It certainly is not.
00:07:00I don't care whose office it is.
00:07:02I...
00:07:04What?
00:07:05Who's had the audacity to put this thing on my fire?
00:07:12The rope.
00:07:19Oh, look, Stinker.
00:07:20My little egg's got a puncture.
00:07:21Is it cracked?
00:07:22Not of.
00:07:23It's in the tubes coming out.
00:07:26What's the meaning of this?
00:07:27Oh, isn't this nice?
00:07:28Mr. Perkinson himself is just in time for breakfast.
00:07:30Oh, and you've brought my comms back.
00:07:32Aye, thank you.
00:07:33What are you doing on this roof?
00:07:34Yes, that's right, Stinker.
00:07:36What are we doing on this gentleman's roof?
00:07:38Well, at the moment, sir, we're preparing breakfast.
00:07:40Good.
00:07:42Are you responsible for that?
00:07:43Oh, no, sir.
00:07:44That's not us.
00:07:45No, you've got the wrong one this time, sir.
00:07:46That's Mrs. Bagwash.
00:07:47Mrs. Bagwash.
00:07:48Who's she?
00:07:49The woman who comes in to help us with the spring cleaning.
00:07:51Granted.
00:07:52Who are these people?
00:07:53Well, I haven't a card, but I'm Big-Hearted Arthur,
00:07:54and this is Stinker Murdoch.
00:07:56We came here for an audition,
00:07:57and they sent us up here and told us to stand by.
00:07:59Yes, and we've been standing by now for three months.
00:08:01Do you mean to say you've been living on this roof for three months?
00:08:03Well, we wanted to be on the spot, sir.
00:08:05And what a spot we're on.
00:08:07This is the flat, sir.
00:08:08You'll have to excuse the room, Mr. Perkinson.
00:08:10We haven't made the bed or emptied beyond anything.
00:08:12Heavens, a bedroom.
00:08:13No, a bed sit, sir.
00:08:14What's that?
00:08:15Oh, that's a drawing.
00:08:16Isn't it good?
00:08:17It's me again.
00:08:18No, by Stinker.
00:08:19He's ever so clever with his pencils.
00:08:21Oh.
00:08:22Take all this rubbish and clear out.
00:08:24Clear out?
00:08:25You mean leave our flat?
00:08:26At once.
00:08:27But we've only just bought a new bed-tank.
00:08:28Get out!
00:08:29But what about our audition?
00:08:30You're not gone in half an hour.
00:08:31I'll send for the police.
00:08:32Always me, Prescatorio.
00:08:33Territorio.
00:08:34Albert Memorial.
00:08:35Isn't he a bully?
00:08:36Come on, Big.
00:08:38We know when we're not wanted.
00:08:40We'd better start getting our smalls, sir.
00:08:44In future, this roof will be out of bounds to everybody.
00:08:51Well, this is the last straw.
00:08:53Look at my cousin.
00:08:54Look!
00:08:56Out, out, out, out, out, out.
00:09:06Down, nine, mandarin scissors, knives, here, cutting on the left.
00:09:09Come on, Big, shift's starting, I can't move.
00:09:11All right, we'll be out in a minute.
00:09:24Here.
00:09:29Go away, you rude people.
00:09:31Well, then, Big, we'd better get the small things out first.
00:09:33Okay, Dickie.
00:09:36Oh, Big.
00:09:37What's the matter?
00:09:38Have you seen Aunt Jessie's chest?
00:09:40I beg your pardon.
00:09:41Oh, you silly little man.
00:09:42I mean the chest Aunt Jessie gave us to keep things in.
00:09:44Oh, that one.
00:09:45Oh, that's in here.
00:09:50Are you in our way?
00:09:51You're in mine, rather.
00:09:52I want to get out and let live.
00:09:53Michael Standing.
00:09:55Dickie Murdoch.
00:09:56Haven't seen you since Cambridge.
00:09:58Oh, you're not the Standing who's always standing on the corner of the street, are you?
00:10:01Yes, I am.
00:10:02Introduce me, Dickie.
00:10:03I was at Cambridge, too.
00:10:05Really? That's very interesting.
00:10:06I was at Trinity.
00:10:07Where were you?
00:10:08I was at Pale Thorpes.
00:10:09What are you talking about, Big?
00:10:10I was.
00:10:11I got my BSc.
00:10:12Bachelor of Science?
00:10:13No.
00:10:14Biter of sausage covers.
00:10:15I'd like to hear about that.
00:10:17What's your name?
00:10:18Arthur Askey, my new chum.
00:10:20Arthur Askey?
00:10:21What are you doing here, broadcast?
00:10:23No, outcast.
00:10:24Outcast?
00:10:25Well, so long as you're not downcast.
00:10:28But tell me, what do you do for a living?
00:10:30Oh, chiefly auditions.
00:10:31We've been trying to get one here.
00:10:33So that's your ambition, is it?
00:10:34No, my ambition's to be a radio star and have a lovely house out in the country
00:10:38and always turn up half an hour late for rehearsal.
00:10:41Me, too.
00:10:42Sounds very nice to me, a little place where you can take the air.
00:10:45Mr. Pilkington's given us that already.
00:10:47Oh, dear, I am sorry.
00:10:48But tell me, Miss Askey, are you married?
00:10:50No, I always look like this.
00:10:52You've got a girlfriend, I dare say.
00:10:54Oh, yes, her name's Norcia.
00:10:59Oh, I understand.
00:11:00Does she want to settle down in the country, too?
00:11:02Oh, she doesn't mind where she settles as long as she can go to the pictures.
00:11:05Well, you'll have to get a place in the country where there's a picture house.
00:11:08Eventually, we hope to open a show of our own somewhere.
00:11:10That sounds a good idea.
00:11:11Why don't you come with us?
00:11:12Wherever we go, there's sure to be some corners you can stand on.
00:11:14Oh, thanks very much, but I'm under contract here.
00:11:16Oh, bad luck.
00:11:17Why don't you try and get with a decent firm?
00:11:19Oh, my, while you're here, I suppose you wouldn't like to help us out with this lot?
00:11:22I'd love to, boys, but I'm on the air in a few minutes.
00:11:25Carry on, London.
00:11:26Violet, carry on.
00:11:28Wait a minute, here's Mr. Middleton.
00:11:30Ask him, he might help you.
00:11:32Oh, tar.
00:11:35To you.
00:11:36To me.
00:11:37Steady.
00:11:40Hello.
00:11:41Good afternoon.
00:11:43What's the trouble here?
00:11:44Doing a bit of transplanting or something?
00:11:46No, Mr. Middleton, we are in the middle.
00:11:48We've got to get all this stuff in our little cart out there.
00:11:50What ought we to do?
00:11:51Well, I can't see that you've anything to worry about.
00:11:54I should start by getting a pruning knife and trim all the edges off the whatnots.
00:11:59After all, it's a rag growth, something like my old Aspidextra cannodleensis.
00:12:05And cut out this dead wood.
00:12:07It might make it a bit lower, but perhaps some people like it better that way.
00:12:11Now, I'll tell you on second thoughts what I should do.
00:12:14I should wait till the autumn and collect a nice lot of dead leaves and garden rubbish
00:12:20and make a good bonfire of the lot.
00:12:22Goodbye.
00:12:23Aye, thank you.
00:12:41There you are.
00:12:42I told you there was plenty of room.
00:12:43Yes, but how are we going to drive?
00:12:44Oh, don't be difficult, Vicki.
00:12:45It's simple enough.
00:12:46You sit on Aunt Jessie's drawers and stick your feet through the legs of the washstand.
00:12:52You left this junk in the foyer.
00:12:54Now, move along, please.
00:12:55Pass along, please.
00:12:57She'll never take it.
00:12:58Ignore him.
00:12:59We'll send it to town.
00:13:00Move along, please.
00:13:01It's quite all right, officer.
00:13:02We're just loading up the car.
00:13:03Yes, there's been a slight technical hitch.
00:13:05Well, hurry up.
00:13:06You're causing an obstruction.
00:13:07Here's a car waiting to pull in.
00:13:08Well, there's plenty of room for him to back in front of us.
00:13:09Yes, live and let live, inspector.
00:13:10Never mind about that.
00:13:11Get it away.
00:13:12All right.
00:13:13Back in front of this car.
00:13:14Make room, please.
00:13:15Back in here.
00:13:18Hey, mind the paint!
00:13:20She won't stop.
00:13:21Well, she ain't now.
00:13:22No wonder.
00:13:23No petrol.
00:13:24Well, where's the spare tin?
00:13:25Oh, it's under the luggage at the back.
00:13:26Well, we can't unpack now.
00:13:27We'll have to push it or get a tow or something.
00:13:29Oh, aren't you a fusspot.
00:13:32What is all this?
00:13:33Why isn't my car opened at all?
00:13:35We've got a slight obstruction, sir.
00:13:36Oh.
00:13:38So, it's you again.
00:13:39Take this confounded contraption away.
00:13:40You take your confounded contraption away and we'll take ours.
00:13:42We're not your servants now, you know.
00:13:44No, we're members of your public, so you'd better behave yourself,
00:13:46otherwise we'll stop paying you our ten bob a year.
00:13:48Oh.
00:13:49I don't think you'll, everybody, because you've got a big car.
00:13:51We've got a nice car of our own.
00:13:52If you want to buy yours, we could do.
00:13:53But we're not going to bother.
00:13:54We could leave just the money where it is.
00:13:56Well, then, I want to see your license and insurance.
00:13:58Aye, thank you all.
00:14:10Oh.
00:14:31What happened, Dickie?
00:14:32The pump that's come off his car.
00:14:33Well, that's very dangerous, isn't it?
00:14:35Can't be so in for that.
00:14:36Well, here's a nice mess.
00:14:37All our stuff in the ditch.
00:14:38Never mind, we'll be able to find the petrol tank now.
00:14:40Here it is.
00:14:41Yeah.
00:14:42Ooh, and what do you think?
00:14:43What?
00:14:44It's empty.
00:14:50Jane!
00:14:51What's up, Penny?
00:14:52He's coming.
00:14:53Who?
00:14:54Piggington.
00:14:55I saw his car coming over the hill.
00:14:56He'll be here in a minute.
00:14:57Pat!
00:14:58Pat!
00:14:59Hey, hey, what is it, a fire?
00:15:00Oh, Pilkington's coming.
00:15:01Tell the boys to stand by.
00:15:02We'll see if he stops or not.
00:15:09What's the matter?
00:15:10What's happened?
00:15:11Back tire's gone, sir.
00:15:12Gone?
00:15:13How long's that going to hold us up?
00:15:14Well, at least 10 minutes, sir.
00:15:20Well, well, don't tell me you've had a puncture.
00:15:22I have had a puncture.
00:15:23What's it got to do with you?
00:15:24Oh, nothing.
00:15:25But I was just wondering if you'd
00:15:26care to come inside and have a cup of tea
00:15:27whilst it's being fixed.
00:15:28Huh?
00:15:29Oh, thanks.
00:15:30Better than sitting here.
00:15:31Let me know when it's finished.
00:15:32Yes, very good, sir.
00:15:34Annoying thing, those punctures, aren't they, sir?
00:15:36Hmm?
00:15:37Exactly, that's what I always say.
00:15:40Charles, get this gentleman a nice table
00:15:42and get him some tea right away.
00:15:43Come on, Charles, hurry.
00:15:44Hurry, come on.
00:15:45The lady will meet after you, sir.
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00:22:25Hmm.
00:22:27Ahem.
00:22:28Tell me, uh, did you like it, sir?
00:22:30Like what?
00:22:31The number we just played.
00:22:33Oh, yes, you've been playing, haven't you?
00:22:35Quite good.
00:22:36The wheel is on, sir.
00:22:37There was a nail in the tyre.
00:22:38A nail?
00:22:39Oh, that's funny.
00:22:40I only put down organ quadrants.
00:22:41What?
00:22:42That's just what I was going to tell you, sir.
00:22:43The road's covered with glass.
00:22:44Glass?
00:22:45Oh, yes.
00:22:46Oh, yes.
00:22:47Oh, yes.
00:22:48Oh, yes.
00:22:49Let me explain.
00:22:50There it is, sir, all over the road.
00:22:51So you deliberately put glass on the road so that I should get a puncture?
00:22:54But we only wanted you to hear the band, sir.
00:22:56We didn't mean any harm, Mr. Pekington.
00:22:58Get in the box.
00:22:59Then you must be Jack Hilton.
00:23:01That's right.
00:23:02I might have known it.
00:23:03Oh.
00:23:04Don't think you can get away with this outrage.
00:23:09I'll have you prosecuted.
00:23:11The lot of you.
00:23:18Oh.
00:23:25You'll hear more of this.
00:23:36Oh, Dickie, I can't push another step.
00:23:38Well, you don't have to.
00:23:39Here's a petrol pump.
00:23:40Oh, yes.
00:23:41Down the hooter.
00:23:42Saray?
00:23:43Saray?
00:23:44Let's have Saray.
00:23:46Good evening.
00:23:47We want some petrol.
00:23:48How much, sir?
00:23:49How about a pint?
00:23:50I'm sorry, sir.
00:23:51I can't make you up a pint.
00:23:52All right.
00:23:53Half a pint will do.
00:23:54Don't take any notice of my friend.
00:23:55Put a gallon in, will you?
00:23:58Oh, Dickie.
00:23:59Oh, isn't it lovely?
00:24:01A pigsty.
00:24:02Do you like the country, sir?
00:24:03Oh, yes.
00:24:04I think it must be the yeoman in me.
00:24:05Yeoman?
00:24:06Yes.
00:24:07My father was a yeoman.
00:24:08Used to go to bed with his spurs on.
00:24:09Mother used to get so cut up about it.
00:24:10That'll be one and five, sir.
00:24:14He's got no sense of humor.
00:24:16Here you are, my good man.
00:24:19Oh, I suppose there aren't any cottages to let round here.
00:24:22Cottages?
00:24:23Yes, you know, with old log beams you can bump your head on
00:24:25and everything you want outside.
00:24:27Oh, Mr. Hobday's the man you want to see, sir.
00:24:30In the estate agent's next door.
00:24:32He's got cottages in all kinds of places.
00:24:35Hey, come on, Dickie.
00:24:36Let's step in and buy one.
00:24:38What, now?
00:24:39Yes, I feel a deal coming on.
00:24:40We've got all our furniture and things.
00:24:41We can move in at once and save ourselves a nice lodging.
00:24:48Are you Mr. Hobday?
00:24:49Yes.
00:24:50Well, we'd like to be fitted for the house.
00:24:51A house?
00:24:52Yes.
00:24:53My dear, sir.
00:24:54A house.
00:24:55Please, Dickie.
00:24:56A house.
00:24:57Now, what kind of a house would you like?
00:25:00All the usual sort of house.
00:25:01Four walls and a green.
00:25:02Yes, I think I have the very thing for you.
00:25:05The Laurels.
00:25:06Gentlemen's country cottage.
00:25:07Two resets, four bathrooms, sixteen bedrooms,
00:25:09and an Italian lodger.
00:25:10Oh, we couldn't live with them in the house.
00:25:12Who?
00:25:13The Italian lodger.
00:25:14How much are you asking for this tiny cottage?
00:25:16Oh, my dear sir, it's a bargain.
00:25:18Only 12 guineas.
00:25:19What, a year?
00:25:21A week.
00:25:22Have you anything cheaper?
00:25:24Without beams.
00:25:25How much do you want to pay?
00:25:26We don't want to pay anything, but we've got three pounds.
00:25:29Three pounds.
00:25:32Just wait a minute.
00:25:38Aye, aye, aye.
00:25:39Here.
00:25:40This ain't right.
00:25:41Four inch expense.
00:25:42Yes, it is.
00:25:43Oh, no, it ain't.
00:25:44When I took this here job on as caretaker,
00:25:46you promised me five shillings a week.
00:25:48I told you every week.
00:25:49You borrowed 10 shillings from us last derby day
00:25:52and must stop and sixpence a week from your salary
00:25:54until it's paid.
00:25:55That's different, eh?
00:25:57Well, how much do I owe now, then?
00:25:59Six shillings.
00:26:01Oh, I tell you what.
00:26:02You give me two weeks' pay in advance
00:26:04and I'll settle the whole thing up
00:26:05instead of fiddling about like this.
00:26:07Eh?
00:26:08Where's the Droon Castle file?
00:26:10Here, sir.
00:26:11Why?
00:26:12I think I can let it.
00:26:14What, let Droon Castle?
00:26:15You can't do that.
00:26:16That place is haunted.
00:26:17It's haunted.
00:26:18People never stay there.
00:26:19It's full of ghosts.
00:26:20Who are you?
00:26:21I'm the caretaker there.
00:26:22Well, the ghosts don't seem to have done you much wrong.
00:26:24Ah, in the daytime,
00:26:25I wouldn't sleep that night.
00:26:27You know, sir,
00:26:28I've seen some horrible things.
00:26:29People without heads.
00:26:30People with swords stuck through them
00:26:32and the smell of sulphur.
00:26:35Ah, nonsense.
00:26:36You've had your money.
00:26:37Now go.
00:26:38Yes, all right.
00:26:41Yeah, but I've warned you.
00:26:42If you let people move in there,
00:26:44them ghosts are going to cause trouble.
00:26:46A lot of trouble, too.
00:26:48Yes.
00:26:59Oh!
00:27:01Oh, that's old world, all right.
00:27:03Now, here we are, sir.
00:27:04I think this is exactly what you want.
00:27:06Oak beams and everything.
00:27:07Of course, it's a little larger than what you required,
00:27:10but we'll take that into consideration in the rent.
00:27:12Oh, isn't he a nice man, Becky?
00:27:14What sort of a place is it?
00:27:15Well, as a matter of fact,
00:27:16the owner's in America
00:27:17and just wanted to have people in, you know,
00:27:19to keep the place aired.
00:27:20So, shall we just say a nominal sum?
00:27:22You give me your three pounds
00:27:23and you can stay there to meet him, miss.
00:27:25Quick, give him the money before he changes his mind.
00:27:29Does this mean we can move in at once?
00:27:30Certainly.
00:27:32Free.
00:27:33I'll give you written authority.
00:27:34Mr. Askey, Arthur Askey,
00:27:36received from Mr. Arthur Askey
00:27:39a sum of three pounds
00:27:41for rent to September 25th
00:27:44for Broome Castle.
00:27:46Castle?
00:27:47That's what it's called.
00:27:51Here's the key.
00:27:53Of course, you know it's quite an old place
00:27:55and some of the boards may creak a bit at night
00:27:57or one or two little things like that,
00:27:58but remember,
00:27:59there's a perfectly natural explanation for everything.
00:28:03I see what you mean.
00:28:04Oh, Dickie, I'm so excited we've got a castle.
00:28:06Come on, let's go and run a flag up
00:28:07to show that we're in residence.
00:28:08Oh, I'm the king of the castle
00:28:10Sit down, you dirty dog.
00:28:12Oh, I'm the king of the castle
00:28:13Sit down, you dirty dog.
00:28:23You think this is the place, Dickie?
00:28:25Yeah, isn't it all right?
00:28:26Why?
00:28:27Looks as if the moths have been at it, doesn't it?
00:28:28Well, what do you expect,
00:28:29for three quid for the signs?
00:28:30Oh, but I've heard about strange happenings
00:28:32in castles like this.
00:28:33Oh, don't be so childish.
00:28:34Get the key and let's go inside.
00:28:36Come on, Louis.
00:28:40Whoa, what was that?
00:28:42Only a bat.
00:28:43Well, who threw it?
00:28:44You're silly.
00:28:45All sorts of strange things happen in the country.
00:28:46Remember what the gentleman said.
00:28:48There's a perfectly natural explanation for everything.
00:28:53Well, here's the key.
00:28:54Open the door.
00:28:55No, you open it.
00:28:56It's your castle.
00:28:59Well, you better do it.
00:29:00I can't reach the keyhole.
00:29:02Don't worry, I'll hold you up.
00:29:03Oh, will you?
00:29:05Well, if anything goes wrong,
00:29:06you'll let me down, won't you?
00:29:07I don't want to be left up there
00:29:08hanging on to the key.
00:29:13Open it.
00:29:16Don't worry.
00:29:17Remember, there's a perfectly natural explanation
00:29:19for everything.
00:29:25Whoa.
00:29:26What's the matter?
00:29:27It's a bit cozy in here.
00:29:28Don't say ooh unless you've got
00:29:29something to say ooh about.
00:29:30Ooh!
00:29:31Now who's doing?
00:29:32It's all right.
00:29:33Just gave me a shock.
00:29:34Only a suit of armor.
00:29:35Got to go.
00:29:36Just sheets.
00:29:37What did you shut that door for?
00:29:39I didn't shut it.
00:29:40Well, we'll have it open.
00:29:41Well, we'll have it open anyway.
00:29:42We must have some air.
00:30:02That's funny.
00:30:03You mustn't be nervous.
00:30:04There's a perfectly natural explanation...
00:30:07Whoa!
00:30:08Whoa!
00:30:15What were you running for?
00:30:16I thought you were in a hurry.
00:30:18Oh, look, Dickie.
00:30:19There's an organ.
00:30:20Yes, well, leave it alone.
00:30:21Oh, let me play a bit of organ.
00:30:22Go on.
00:30:23You pump it up, pal.
00:30:24Yes, go on.
00:30:25Pump it up.
00:30:26I'll play something.
00:30:27All right.
00:30:28I know.
00:30:29I'll sing you my signature tune.
00:30:31Are you ready?
00:30:32Yes.
00:30:33Then go, Pete.
00:30:35Big-hearted Arthur, they call me
00:30:39Big-hearted Arthur, that's me
00:30:42That's me!
00:30:43What was that?
00:30:45Must have been an echo.
00:30:47Oh, yeah.
00:30:48I'll start again.
00:30:50Big-hearted Arthur, they call me
00:30:53Big-hearted Arthur, that's me
00:30:56That's me!
00:30:57Right.
00:30:58Clean if I'm not very clever
00:31:00Clever!
00:31:01But only because I've got to be
00:31:03To be!
00:31:04I've got tall ambitions for such a short man
00:31:10The echo was there when this chorus began
00:31:15But can you hear it now?
00:31:17I blowed if I can
00:31:20Big-hearted Arthur, they call me
00:31:24Big-hearted Arthur, that's me
00:31:27Ha-ha!
00:31:28Whoa!
00:31:34Whoa!
00:31:41I suppose some people in our position would feel scared.
00:31:44Yeah, I suppose they would.
00:31:48Look, Big, it's a bedroom.
00:31:49So it is.
00:31:50Art and candles.
00:31:51Oh, light them.
00:31:52It'll be a bit more cheerful, won't it?
00:31:55I'll explore.
00:31:57Whoa!
00:32:01Cobwebs.
00:32:03Oh, I say, Becky, what's this?
00:32:05That's where we're going to sleep.
00:32:07Well, I'm not going in the top bunk.
00:32:09Oh, don't be silly.
00:32:10We're both sleeping here.
00:32:11What, you and I in the one bed?
00:32:13Of course.
00:32:18Well, this is my side.
00:32:20Oh, lovely spring.
00:32:22Aren't you going to undress?
00:32:24No, no, no, no fear.
00:32:26The sheets may be damp.
00:32:34Whoa!
00:32:40Becky, Becky.
00:32:42What is it?
00:32:44A man's hand under my pillow.
00:32:46Are you sure?
00:32:49Positive.
00:32:53It's your hand.
00:32:55Oh, so it is.
00:33:00Oh, knock it, Becky.
00:33:01Don't blow the lights out yet.
00:33:03I didn't do it.
00:33:04You didn't?
00:33:06Give me the matches, Becky.
00:33:08Oh, I don't like this place.
00:33:09I'm frightened.
00:33:10Nothing to be frightened of.
00:33:12Remember, there's a perfectly natural explanation for everything.
00:33:15Yes, perhaps the main fuse, then.
00:33:17Candles don't have fuses.
00:33:18Well, the main whip, then.
00:33:34Look!
00:33:35Look!
00:33:36Sidney!
00:34:04Who are you?
00:34:05I am one whose spirit is earthbound.
00:34:10What's he say?
00:34:11He says he's eggbound.
00:34:13What are you doing in our castle?
00:34:15I am haunting it.
00:34:17Oh, well, couldn't you go and haunt somewhere else?
00:34:19We want to get to sleep.
00:34:21Wait a minute.
00:34:22Was it you playing tricks with those lights and doors?
00:34:25Yea, verily, it was even I.
00:34:28There you are, Beak.
00:34:30I told you there was a perfectly natural explanation for everything.
00:34:33But he says he's a spirit.
00:34:35Spirit? Don't be ridiculous.
00:34:36There's no such thing.
00:34:37No such thing?
00:34:39What then am I?
00:34:41I'll tell you what you are.
00:34:42You're a blinking old nuisance.
00:34:43You can't talk like that to me.
00:34:45I say...
00:34:46Why tell you I'm a ghost?
00:34:49Then tuck your head underneath your arm and push off.
00:34:52Whose ghost are you, anyway?
00:34:53I'm the ghost of Jasper Blackfang, the miser of Droon.
00:34:59Oh, Dicky's a miser.
00:35:01Oh, I've always wanted to meet one of those.
00:35:03For 500 years, I've haunted this spot.
00:35:07What? His eyes are awful.
00:35:09Begone!
00:35:10Begone from this place,
00:35:12ere I blast you to eternity.
00:35:15I'll wrack you with pain.
00:35:17I'll turn your blood twice.
00:35:19I'll grind your bones to powder.
00:35:22Begone!
00:35:23Begone!
00:35:24Help! Help!
00:35:25Begone!
00:35:26Help!
00:35:27Begone!
00:35:30Help!
00:35:37Help!
00:35:38Begone!
00:35:39Help!
00:35:40Begone!
00:35:57What a place, Dicky.
00:35:58If we'd have stayed there another five minutes,
00:36:00I wouldn't have half had the wind up.
00:36:01Yes, we're well out of it.
00:36:02Though, as a matter of fact...
00:36:03Don't tell me.
00:36:04There's a perfectly natural explanation for everything.
00:36:07Where are we going to now?
00:36:08I don't know, but we can always ask when we get there.
00:36:14Hey, Jack.
00:36:15There's a car coming down the road.
00:36:16They might be customers.
00:36:17Right.
00:36:18Quick, boys, up on the stand.
00:36:19Charles, fix this table.
00:36:21Thank heavens, Dicky.
00:36:22Here's some light.
00:36:23Yeah.
00:36:24Seems a bit partial, but don't throw you out.
00:36:26I didn't enjoy that after what we've been through.
00:36:32Good evening, gentlemen.
00:36:33Can I get you a table?
00:36:34No, show us what it is.
00:36:35We'll go to it.
00:36:36Up this way, please.
00:36:37You'll get a good view of the cabaret from here, sir.
00:36:40Oh, goody, goody.
00:36:41Now, sir, dinner is ten and six.
00:36:43Oh, goody, goody.
00:36:44Now, sir, dinner is ten and six.
00:36:45Oh, goody, goody.
00:36:46Now, sir, dinner is ten and six.
00:36:47Oh, goody, goody.
00:36:48Now, sir, dinner is ten and six.
00:36:50Would you like it à la carte?
00:36:52À la carte.
00:36:53That's an idea.
00:36:54Of course, sir.
00:36:55On the back, sir.
00:36:56Here it is, sir.
00:36:57Oh, I see.
00:36:58Now, truic fumé four and six, jambon fumé six and six,
00:37:01and saumon fumé eight and six.
00:37:03That's rather expensive.
00:37:04What is it?
00:37:05That's French for smoked salmon, sir.
00:37:06Oh, I suppose you haven't any bloater fumé?
00:37:08Oh, certainly, sir.
00:37:09Oran fumé four and six, the pair.
00:37:11Oh, you shouldn't eat as many as all that.
00:37:13This is more like it, Dick.
00:37:14Vegetable soup six.
00:37:15Yes.
00:37:16How much is the bread?
00:37:17That bread is free, sir.
00:37:18Two plates of soup and a forkly loaf.
00:37:19I beg your pardon, sir?
00:37:20You heard the order, my man.
00:37:21Two plates of soup and a step in it.
00:37:22A step on it.
00:37:23I guess this is...
00:37:24Beach, beach, beach.
00:37:25Oh, very well, sir.
00:37:26And no onions in his.
00:37:27He's courteous.
00:37:28Shut up, vegan.
00:37:29Listen to the band.
00:37:35Heaven will be heavenly,
00:37:40an angel told me so.
00:37:46Heaven will be heavenly,
00:37:51and surely she ought to know.
00:37:57All my life I've waited
00:38:01for a delighted dream to come true.
00:38:07Now I know I was waiting for you.
00:38:18Heaven will be heavenly,
00:38:23but heaven's far away.
00:38:29I can only live for today.
00:38:39When I hold you close to me,
00:38:45and closer still in the years,
00:38:53then heaven will be something like this.
00:39:08Heaven will be heavenly,
00:39:13an angel told me so.
00:39:18Heaven will be heavenly,
00:39:22and surely she ought to know.
00:39:27Everlasting love.
00:39:36My idea of heaven is you.
00:39:46Heaven will be heavenly,
00:39:50but heaven's far away.
00:39:55I can only live for today.
00:40:04When I hold you close to me,
00:40:11and closer still in the years,
00:40:18then heaven will be something like this.
00:40:29Goodbye, Norcia. I'm slipping.
00:40:31Oh, you gorgeous creature.
00:40:32Oh! Oh!
00:40:34What do you think you're doing?
00:40:36Jackington.
00:40:37Uncle Ashton.
00:40:38Go on, play some more.
00:40:39We haven't had nearly enough yet.
00:40:40No, you wouldn't have had that
00:40:41if I'd known who we were playing to.
00:40:42All right, boys.
00:40:43I'm awfully sorry
00:40:44this little man gets so carried away.
00:40:46Oh, you don't have to apologize.
00:40:47This is Jackington.
00:40:48We're old pals.
00:40:49We were pierots together
00:40:50at Walton on the Nazis.
00:40:51Oh, happy days.
00:40:52What are you doing here?
00:40:53Well, we were passing and...
00:40:54Oh, this is my playmate, Stinker.
00:40:55How do you do?
00:40:56Stinker?
00:40:57Well, how do they call you that?
00:40:58Or shouldn't I ask?
00:40:59Oh, yes, do rather.
00:41:00Ask me anything you like.
00:41:01It's a rather long story.
00:41:02You see, my uncle was...
00:41:03Oh, don't start him on that.
00:41:04Well, I'll tell you some other time.
00:41:05My real name's Dickie Murdoch.
00:41:07Oh, and to complete the ceremony,
00:41:08I'm Pat Cassidy.
00:41:10And I'm Freddie.
00:41:11How do you do?
00:41:12Lovely place you've got here.
00:41:13Oh, the place is all right,
00:41:15but we don't get any customers.
00:41:16What a shame.
00:41:17Do they know the bread's free?
00:41:18No one will come this way in the dark.
00:41:19Well, I can't understand that.
00:41:20You've got some lovely dark round here.
00:41:21No, the castle up the road's the trouble.
00:41:23Yes, it's haunted.
00:41:24You're telling us.
00:41:25It's our castle.
00:41:26What?
00:41:27You mean you've leased it?
00:41:28I don't know whether we've leased it
00:41:29or lost it, but it's ours.
00:41:30You haven't seen the ghost, have you?
00:41:32Seen him?
00:41:33He nearly clapped us to the brisket.
00:41:34Were you frightened?
00:41:35Oh, we weren't exactly frightened.
00:41:36No, we were scared stiff.
00:41:37Oh, I just remembered.
00:41:38We've left our bag there
00:41:39and my King Combs are in it.
00:41:41It's no laughing matter.
00:41:45Go on, tell us what happened.
00:41:46Well, we got to the castle,
00:41:47we went to bed,
00:41:48and we just put the lights out
00:41:49when suddenly we heard...
00:41:51What was that?
00:41:52Sounded like someone at the door.
00:41:54Who?
00:41:58Oh, my goodness.
00:41:59What is it?
00:42:00There's nobody there.
00:42:01Don't worry,
00:42:02there's a perfectly natural
00:42:03explanation for everything.
00:42:05What can it be?
00:42:06It must be the postman.
00:42:07He always knocks twice.
00:42:12Lewis!
00:42:13Oh, Dickie, we forgot all about him.
00:42:15Poor old Lewis.
00:42:16Oh, Lewis, meet everybody.
00:42:18Everybody, this is Lewis.
00:42:20What's this?
00:42:21That?
00:42:22Go away, Lewis.
00:42:23That's the hand frill at the ghost war.
00:42:24This wasn't on any ghost.
00:42:25I tell you, it was.
00:42:26Well, if he was a ghost,
00:42:27he got his frill from Moss Brothers.
00:42:29You're right.
00:42:30Moss Brothers.
00:42:31What does that mean?
00:42:32It means that someone's been pulling your leg.
00:42:34Go on, he said he was 500 years old.
00:42:35He wouldn't pull a leg at that age.
00:42:36Oh, it's probably some chap living there rent-free
00:42:38and he scared you away.
00:42:40If I thought that, I wouldn't half go red.
00:42:42I'd knock the stuffing out of him.
00:42:43You will?
00:42:44Right, we'll come with you.
00:42:45Hey, hey, wait a minute.
00:42:46What about the roadhouse?
00:42:47Oh, Freddy can look after that
00:42:48and I'll come to anything to break this monotony.
00:42:50Aye, it is a bit on drum, isn't it?
00:42:52Properly on drum.
00:43:13Oh.
00:43:14Oh, it's you, eh?
00:43:15Yeah, it's me.
00:43:16I brought the coffee.
00:43:17Oh, wait here.
00:43:18I don't mind.
00:43:24This plan was obtained tonight
00:43:26by S-24 from the Air Ministry.
00:43:29It's a blueprint of the newest long-range bomber.
00:43:32Take all photographs you want of this now
00:43:35and let me know when you've finished.
00:43:37I'll do it.
00:43:39What is it?
00:43:40The old man.
00:43:41He's brought coffee.
00:43:42Wait.
00:43:43All right, Carl.
00:43:44They've got that.
00:43:50We are coming over to you now.
00:43:53So far it is all right.
00:43:55But what of the sabotage of the ammunition works?
00:43:58That also we have arranged.
00:44:00Carl is working now on the time bomb.
00:44:02It is good.
00:44:04Now listen carefully.
00:44:06Yes, Excellency.
00:44:07We expect you tonight in Breslin for further instructions.
00:44:10Bring nothing incriminating with you.
00:44:12That's all.
00:44:14Nastoli.
00:44:15Nastoli.
00:44:16Well, is the old man in now?
00:44:18Wait.
00:44:19Is my bag on the plane?
00:44:21Yeah, everything's fixed.
00:44:23Is that ready?
00:44:24Yes.
00:44:25All it needs now is winding up and the alarm setting.
00:44:27Good.
00:44:28Then pull it away.
00:44:29All right, Matteo.
00:44:31You can come in.
00:44:33Evening, gentlemen.
00:44:34Hope the coffee's all right.
00:44:35I've kept as hot as I can.
00:44:37Pour it out and don't talk so much.
00:44:39You are late.
00:44:40Sorry, sir.
00:44:41Well, I've had a bit of an accident tonight.
00:44:43What are you talking about?
00:44:44I've had a couple of visitors.
00:44:45Visitors?
00:44:46Yeah.
00:44:47All right, don't worry.
00:44:48I handled the situation all right.
00:44:49I put on that uniform you gave me and did a bit of waltzing.
00:44:52That's good.
00:44:53All right.
00:44:54All right.
00:44:55All right.
00:44:56All right.
00:44:57All right.
00:44:58All right.
00:44:59That scared them.
00:45:00I wasn't half eerie.
00:45:02I frightened myself a bit.
00:45:03Any danger of them returning?
00:45:05They've gone all right and they won't come back in a hurry.
00:45:13Don't make a noise and we'll play old Jasper the Grasper at his own game.
00:45:17What do you mean?
00:45:18Well, he haunted us, didn't he?
00:45:19We'll snoop around till we find him.
00:45:21Then we'll haunt him back again.
00:45:22But whatever you do, keep quiet.
00:45:25I thought you said we to keep quiet.
00:45:29So I did, but I haven't started yet.
00:45:31Now I'm ready.
00:45:32Come on.
00:45:37I love what you did.
00:45:39Remember, it's long past my bedtime.
00:45:41I'll be quiet.
00:45:42When I let you come here to broadcast your baked beans,
00:45:44you didn't tell me you were going to keep me up all night.
00:45:46Oh, shut up.
00:45:47It's all very well for you to say shut up.
00:45:48Here.
00:45:49How am I going to get home?
00:45:50The last green line's gone.
00:45:52I ain't got my tricycle with me.
00:45:53All right.
00:45:54You can come in the car with us and we'll drop you in town.
00:45:56Here?
00:45:57You'll be careful how you drive, won't you?
00:45:59I know what you young fellows are in these deep thoughts.
00:46:03OK.
00:46:04This way, sir.
00:46:05Mind your head.
00:46:11What about the lights?
00:46:12We can't switch them off at the bottom.
00:46:23Oh, it's a dentist's.
00:46:24Where do we spit?
00:46:26Do you know there's something fishy about this place?
00:46:28No, I can't smell anything.
00:46:29This is the first room we've seen with electric lights.
00:46:31Huh.
00:46:32They've got a young power station here.
00:46:33Oh, it's a soda fountain.
00:46:35Now, what flavor would you like?
00:46:36Chocolate, raspberry, or vanilla?
00:46:37Raspberry.
00:46:38Right, you shall have it.
00:46:39Yes?
00:46:40Ah!
00:46:41Oh, oh.
00:46:42Oh, Dickie.
00:46:43I've got sunstroke.
00:46:44You haven't hurt yourself, have you?
00:46:45No, but I can see a lot of lights.
00:46:46So can I, you silly little man.
00:46:47You've just switched them on.
00:46:49Why?
00:46:50Look, here's a microphone.
00:46:52And this is a camera.
00:46:55I know what it is.
00:46:56It's a television studio.
00:46:57And there's a screen.
00:46:59Oh, what a bargain.
00:47:00And all for three quid.
00:47:01Arthur, this is the biggest break we've ever had.
00:47:03We don't need the BBC now.
00:47:04What?
00:47:05That's right.
00:47:06We can broadcast without.
00:47:07We can start in opposition.
00:47:08What a swell idea.
00:47:10We can get the band and the girls and put on a terrific show,
00:47:12and we'll...
00:47:13Oh.
00:47:14What's the matter?
00:47:15Does anybody know how to work this thing?
00:47:16No.
00:47:17Wait a minute.
00:47:18I think Freddy does.
00:47:19He used to work in a radio shop.
00:47:20Then we'll have our own station and call it the ABC.
00:47:22What?
00:47:23The ASCII Top Broadcasting Corporation.
00:47:25Come on, let's get Freddy.
00:47:26I know.
00:47:33Well, we are very pleased with your work, Shaffer.
00:47:36Thank you, Excellency.
00:47:37Oh, look.
00:47:38What a lot of lovely crotchkits.
00:47:40Gadgets.
00:47:41I said crotchkits.
00:47:42Well, can he make them work?
00:47:43I think perhaps yes.
00:47:44Where is the screen?
00:47:46The screen?
00:47:47You're not going to televise us in the rude, are you?
00:47:49Oh, he means the screen we see you on.
00:47:51It's over there.
00:47:52Oh, look.
00:47:53Isn't it nice?
00:47:54Now, let's see.
00:47:55This little piggy went to market,
00:47:56and this little piggy stayed home.
00:47:58Isn't it exciting, Inspector?
00:48:05There's somebody in trap number one.
00:48:09Hey!
00:48:10Hold that dog!
00:48:12It's Jasper the Black Tooth.
00:48:14No, I ain't.
00:48:15I've never seen any of you before.
00:48:16Here, take your hands off me.
00:48:17Take your hands off me.
00:48:18He's the old devil who gave us the willies last night.
00:48:20Do you realise you're trespassing here?
00:48:21Oh, no, I ain't.
00:48:22You are.
00:48:23I'm caretaker here.
00:48:24I look after this place for the owners, see?
00:48:25Well, we're the owners now,
00:48:26and I'm not quite sure that we need a caretaker.
00:48:28Staircase.
00:48:29A ghost chaser.
00:48:30Meant to look after the place.
00:48:31You're sacked.
00:48:33What?
00:48:34And another.
00:48:35What's all this ghost nonsense?
00:48:37You frighten the life out of us.
00:48:38You wait till we tell the estate agent about you.
00:48:40Oh, dear.
00:48:41Oh, you wouldn't do that?
00:48:42Yes, we would.
00:48:43Well, the haunting wasn't my idea.
00:48:44I didn't mean no harm.
00:48:45You see, some gentlemen have got this place
00:48:47for commercial broadcasting,
00:48:48and they don't want no strangers about, see?
00:48:51Hey, that accounts for the television studio.
00:48:53That's right.
00:48:54They're showing their baked beans to the world.
00:48:56Oh, are they?
00:48:57Well, we've got more than baked beans to show the world.
00:48:59Have these broadcasters rented the place?
00:49:01Well, no.
00:49:02I let the two of them on the side.
00:49:04Oh, you did, did you?
00:49:05That's another thing the estate agents would like to know.
00:49:07Oh, dear.
00:49:08Oh, dear.
00:49:09But we're not going to say anything
00:49:10because from now on you're working for us, aren't you?
00:49:12Yes.
00:49:13Yes, of course I am.
00:49:14But you won't tell Mr. Obday, will you?
00:49:16Well, have you behaved like a good boy?
00:49:17No.
00:49:18Oh, Jack, we've finished rehearsing.
00:49:19We're having a break now.
00:49:20Where can we get some coffee?
00:49:21Oh, yes, Jack.
00:49:22We are thirsty.
00:49:23Ask old Faithfully.
00:49:24He's a local lad.
00:49:25He'll show you.
00:49:26Yes.
00:49:27Come on, girls.
00:49:28Come on.
00:49:29That way.
00:49:30That's it.
00:49:31Turn to the left there.
00:49:32That's right.
00:49:33Go on.
00:49:34I'm going to like working for you.
00:49:35Wait for me.
00:49:36Wait.
00:49:37Oh.
00:49:38Huh?
00:49:39Oh, I think I've got it working.
00:49:40Will somebody stand in front of the camera?
00:49:41I will.
00:49:42Oh, no.
00:49:43Let me.
00:49:44Spoil, spoil.
00:49:45Don't make about.
00:49:46Stand still.
00:49:47Put this mic in front of the camera.
00:49:48Talk or sing or something.
00:49:49One talk, one sing.
00:49:50Coming up.
00:49:51Here I go.
00:49:52Oh, what a glorious thing to be.
00:49:53A healthy, grown-up, busy, busy bee.
00:49:54The Board of Agriculture has been very busy of late.
00:49:55Finching all the pollen from the cold, deep flowers.
00:49:56I'd like to be a busy, busy bee.
00:49:57Haven't you got me yet, Freddie?
00:49:58Shut up and keep singing.
00:49:59I think I've got it.
00:50:00Being just as busy as a bee can be.
00:50:01I'd like to be a bee.
00:50:02I'd like to be a bee.
00:50:03I'd like to be a bee.
00:50:04I'd like to be a bee.
00:50:05I'd like to be a bee.
00:50:06I'd like to be a bee.
00:50:07I'd like to be a bee.
00:50:08I'd like to be a bee.
00:50:09I'd like to be a bee.
00:50:10I'd like to be a bee.
00:50:11I'd like to be a bee.
00:50:12I'd like to be a bee.
00:50:13I'd like to be a bee.
00:50:14I'd like to be a bee.
00:50:15I'd like to be a bee.
00:50:16I'd like to be a bee.
00:50:17I'd like to be a bee.
00:50:18I'd like to be a bee.
00:50:19I'd like to be a bee.
00:50:20I'd like to be a bee.
00:50:21I'd like to be a bee.
00:50:22I'd like to be a bee.
00:50:23I'd like to be a bee.
00:50:24I'd like to be a bee.
00:50:25I'd like to be a bee.
00:50:26I'd like to be a bee.
00:50:27I'd like to be a bee.
00:50:28I'd like to be a bee.
00:50:30This is no use to you, because you can buy.
00:50:33If you like, but don't sting me.
00:50:35I'd like to be a bee, a bee, a bee.
00:50:38Being just as busy as a bee can be.
00:50:40Flying all around the wild hedge rows,
00:50:42Stinging all the cows upon the parson's nose.
00:50:45Who is that?
00:50:47I don't know, Excellency.
00:50:49I'd like...
00:50:50Oh, Dickie, how much longer have I got to stand in this heat?
00:50:52Me combs are all racking up, they're all round me waist.
00:50:55It's working.
00:50:56Aye.
00:50:57So it is.
00:50:58What's on that screen?
00:50:59Oh, Dickie, and you didn't tell me.
00:51:00Me hair's all untidy.
00:51:02Here, watch me while I make a funny face.
00:51:06Oh, you do look handsome.
00:51:07I think it's an improvement.
00:51:09Look.
00:51:11You must go over there, Omar.
00:51:13Your station is discovered.
00:51:15You must get back at once.
00:51:16Destroy all evidence.
00:51:18Leave nothing.
00:51:19Yes, Excellency.
00:51:24Wait a minute.
00:51:25I think I've got another bite.
00:51:26What?
00:51:27Look.
00:51:28This is the BBC television station at Alexander Palace.
00:51:32Good morning, everybody.
00:51:33Morning.
00:51:34Where's she coming from?
00:51:35Alexander Palace.
00:51:36That means we're on the same wavelength.
00:51:38This morning, instead of our usual demonstration film,
00:51:40Mr. John Pilkington is going to tell you something about our television plans for the future.
00:51:45Pilkington?
00:51:46Oh, Dickie, it's the old battle axe himself.
00:51:48Here he comes.
00:51:50Ladies and gentlemen,
00:51:52in response to many earnest requests,
00:51:54I'm appearing in person before you this morning.
00:51:56Earnest request.
00:51:57Who'd ask him, anyway?
00:51:59Now, many of us are asking,
00:52:01what is the future of television?
00:52:03And I bet you don't know the answer.
00:52:05Is he on our wavelength, yes?
00:52:07Well, go on, put me through.
00:52:08I'll tell him a few things.
00:52:09Come on, Jack, look after the lights.
00:52:10Dickie, get the camera.
00:52:11Okay.
00:52:16As you know, I'm always on the lookout for fresh talent.
00:52:19Don't you believe it.
00:52:20You can't get near the old gentleman.
00:52:23In fact, all of us up here are anxious to find new faces.
00:52:26And blimey, you could do with it.
00:52:28Did you ever see such a clock in your life?
00:52:30We'd like to give you morning programs,
00:52:32but at the moment, that is not possible.
00:52:35Very shortly, we hope to conduct a ballot.
00:52:37Yes, vote for Pilkington for Puget Program.
00:52:40Boo!
00:52:41Good heavens, where's that coming from?
00:52:42It's not from this studio.
00:52:43It must be an outside station.
00:52:44I have, however, some very good news for you all.
00:52:47Don't tell us you're going to resign.
00:52:49This is dreadful.
00:52:50Take them out.
00:52:51I can't.
00:52:52Mr. Pilot Weasley.
00:52:53Then fade out, Mr. Pilkington.
00:52:55Now I have a most interesting announcement to make.
00:52:57I'm sorry, sir.
00:52:58We've had to fade you out.
00:52:59You've done what?
00:53:00I'm terribly sorry, sir.
00:53:01We've got interference.
00:53:02Interference, sir?
00:53:03Do I understand that I've been faded out?
00:53:05Perhaps if you come with me, sir,
00:53:06you'll understand what's happened.
00:53:09Well, playmates, I've done you one good turn.
00:53:11I've got rid of him.
00:53:12And now I can tell you what really does happen.
00:53:14He says he spends his time searching around for fresh talent.
00:53:17Shall I tell you what happens when he finds it?
00:53:19He keeps it hanging about for three months
00:53:21and then gives it the sack.
00:53:23Scoundrel!
00:53:24Fade him off instantly.
00:53:25I'm sorry, sir.
00:53:26I can't.
00:53:27It's a pirate station.
00:53:28Pirate station?
00:53:29Why the...
00:53:30Him and his experts.
00:53:31Why, I could do better than him
00:53:32with my hands tied behind my back.
00:53:33And what's more, I will.
00:53:35You tune in on this wavelength at 8 o'clock tonight
00:53:37and I'll show you.
00:53:38I'll show you some of the talent that he's missed.
00:53:40Jack Hilton and his band.
00:53:42Pat Kirkwood.
00:53:43Arthur Askey.
00:53:44Richard Murdoch.
00:53:45I'll have this man in jail.
00:53:46Get the police.
00:53:47Get the castle guard.
00:53:48Get everything.
00:53:49I want that station trace.
00:53:50Yes, sir.
00:54:00Yes, it's all jolly well
00:54:01saying it'll be all right overnight,
00:54:02but this is the night.
00:54:03We're on in half a night.
00:54:04Well, let's tell a few old jokes
00:54:05and call it chestnut corner.
00:54:06What else?
00:54:09Here, we might tie that waiter joke.
00:54:11Oh, yes.
00:54:12Waiter, have you a wild duck?
00:54:13No, but I've got a tame one
00:54:14I could aggravate for you.
00:54:16Oh, Dickie, I've just thought of another one.
00:54:18What is it?
00:54:19Would you like to see a photograph of me
00:54:20taken when I was in hospital?
00:54:21Rather.
00:54:22There you are.
00:54:23I'm in the end bed.
00:54:24Yes, in the end bed.
00:54:25It's empty.
00:54:26Is it?
00:54:27I must have got out for a minute.
00:54:28Come on, Stinky.
00:54:29Your glue fingers are here.
00:54:30Oh.
00:54:31Stick out.
00:54:32Right there.
00:54:33Here they are.
00:54:34Good evening, girls.
00:54:35Sorry to keep you waiting.
00:54:36Good evening, Mr. Murdoch.
00:54:37Brought your music with you?
00:54:38Yes, Mr. Murdoch.
00:54:39Good.
00:54:40Now, I want to put a straight quartet
00:54:41into the show tonight.
00:54:42What is this, Mr. Murdoch?
00:54:43What are you doing here?
00:54:44Well, I'm not doing much at the moment, old boy,
00:54:45but I shall be when we start the scene.
00:54:46Sing?
00:54:47You're not singing in this.
00:54:48Oh, go on.
00:54:49Let me sing.
00:54:50Good evening, girls.
00:54:51Ha, ha, ha.
00:54:52Am I popular?
00:54:53But you don't know this word.
00:54:54Oh, just show me the hard bits.
00:54:55I'll get on all right.
00:54:56Oh, all right.
00:54:57There's the copy.
00:54:58Start.
00:54:59Now, you see here, you start andante.
00:55:00Andante.
00:55:01What do you mean, andante?
00:55:02Do you have auntie?
00:55:03You must have auntie.
00:55:04I didn't say anything about auntie or uncle.
00:55:05I said andante, meaning slow.
00:55:06Oh, I didn't know.
00:55:07And in this part of the show,
00:55:09you sing boucheferme.
00:55:10Who?
00:55:11Not who, boucheferme.
00:55:12Never heard of him.
00:55:13Boucheferme means mouth shut.
00:55:14Oh, I see what you mean.
00:55:15And do the girls keep their mouths shut, too?
00:55:16In that part, yes.
00:55:17That'll take a bit of doing, won't it?
00:55:18That's very rude.
00:55:19Well, if that's quite clear, we'll make a start.
00:55:20Wait a minute, wait a minute, wait a minute.
00:55:21I'd better have a cut of this flume-de-mar-temps business.
00:55:22Boucheferme.
00:55:23Of boucheferme.
00:55:24All right.
00:55:25Bzzz.
00:55:26You have to keep your mouth shut.
00:55:27Bzzz.
00:55:28Bzzz.
00:55:29Bzzz.
00:55:30Bzzz.
00:55:31Bzzz.
00:55:32Bzzz.
00:55:33Bzzz.
00:55:35Bzzz.
00:55:36You have to keep your lips closed.
00:55:39Do you know this quartet from the auditorium, Old King Cole?
00:55:42Oh, this is easy.
00:55:43Easy for you.
00:55:44You've got the little to do in it now.
00:55:45Are we ready?
00:55:46Here, don't you think we'd better give the girls a bit of a start?
00:55:47What do you mean, give them a start?
00:55:48Well, let them sort of start, and we'll catch them up as we go along.
00:55:50Certainly not.
00:55:51We all start together.
00:55:52Here, have either of you two ever said anything by yourselves?
00:55:55No.
00:55:56No?
00:55:57Are we ready?
00:55:58Yes.
00:55:59Then go, please.
00:56:05Old King Cole was a merry old soul, and a merry old soul was he.
00:56:09And a merry old soul was he.
00:56:10And a merry old soul was he.
00:56:12Old King Cole was a merry old soul, and a merry old soul was he.
00:56:14Oh, come here.
00:56:15There's no dance.
00:56:16No dance.
00:56:17No dance.
00:56:18Oratorio.
00:56:19Oratorio.
00:56:20Old King Cole was a merry old soul, and a merry old soul was he.
00:56:23Old King Cole was a merry old soul, and a merry old soul was he.
00:56:27And a merry old soul was he.
00:56:37There are no bagpipes.
00:56:38No bagpipes?
00:56:39No bagpipes.
00:56:40And no dance?
00:56:41No dance.
00:56:42Oratorio.
00:56:43Old King Cole.
00:56:44Old King Cole.
00:56:45Old King Cole.
00:56:46Old King Cole.
00:56:47Old King Cole.
00:56:48Old King Cole.
00:56:49Old King Cole.
00:56:50Old King Cole.
00:56:51Old King Cole.
00:56:52Hey, there is no coal.
00:56:54No coal?
00:56:55No coal.
00:56:56Now, now. Oratorio.
00:56:59He called for his pipe.
00:57:03He called for his pipe.
00:57:06He called, yes, he called for his pipe.
00:57:102-3-4, 2-3-4, 2-3-4, 2-3-4, 2...
00:57:13There's no 2-3-4. No 2-3-4.
00:57:15No coal. No coal. No backpipes.
00:57:17No dance. Oratorio.
00:57:20He called for his fiddle and flute.
00:57:22He called for his fiddle and flute.
00:57:24He called for his fiddle and flute.
00:57:26He called for his fiddle and flute.
00:57:28He called for his fiddle and flute.
00:57:30He called for his fiddle and flute.
00:57:32He called for his fiddle and flute.
00:57:35He called for his pipe and he called for his bow
00:57:37and he called for his fiddle and flute.
00:57:39He's fiddlers, he's fiddlers, he's fiddly-diddly-diddly-diddlers.
00:57:42He's little-fiddle-bass-fiddle-phone-fiddle-high-tittle-tongue-tittle-little-little.
00:57:45Oratorio.
00:57:48He called for his pipe and he called for his bow
00:57:52and he called for his fiddle.
00:57:58That's very rude.
00:58:10Come on, boy.
00:58:20What do you want?
00:58:21How is the picture coming over?
00:58:23Looks terrible to me.
00:58:25There's something there.
00:58:27I can't see what it is. It's all fluffy.
00:58:29Oh, maybe it's out of focus, but keep watching.
00:58:32Hey, Arthur, find me a board or something to focus on.
00:58:35A board?
00:58:36A board.
00:58:37Oh, I know.
00:58:41How's that?
00:58:42No, something with writing on it.
00:58:44Or something larger.
00:58:46Something with writing on it.
00:58:48Something with writing...
00:58:49How's that?
00:58:50That's fine.
00:58:54What do you make of it, Clinton?
00:58:56Looks like a bunch of amateurs to me, sir.
00:58:59What's that?
00:59:00FP42.
00:59:02That's one of the plans missing from the Air Ministry.
00:59:07Have you found anything?
00:59:08I think we've found more than we were looking for.
00:59:15There he is. That's the scoundrel.
00:59:20Hello?
00:59:21Who?
00:59:23Hobday?
00:59:24What?
00:59:25Pirate Station?
00:59:27This man, Askey, you're looking for.
00:59:29Is there a reward?
00:59:31Good.
00:59:32Well, I can tell you where he is.
00:59:34He is at Droon Castle.
00:59:36That's all we want to know.
00:59:37Thanks.
00:59:39He's at Droon Castle in Sussex.
00:59:40Ah, fine.
00:59:45Go on, girls, get ready as quickly as you can.
00:59:47Listen, it's 7.55, five minutes to go, so set your watches by mine.
00:59:50That's right, the show starts from today.
00:59:52I wonder if old Tin Ribs has got the right time.
00:59:53Oh, what do you want to worry about him for?
00:59:55He's going to time the show.
00:59:56I think we'd better give him a blow in any case.
01:00:00Hello?
01:00:01Set your watch now.
01:00:02Me what?
01:00:03I haven't got a watch.
01:00:04Oh, here you are.
01:00:05I found a lovely clock.
01:00:06Here, I'll have a look.
01:00:07It's a beauty.
01:00:08Here.
01:00:09It's this.
01:00:10Look.
01:00:11Now, what time do you say it was?
01:00:13Nearly one minute to eight.
01:00:14Nearly one minute to eight.
01:00:16Yes?
01:00:17We started eight o'clock sharp.
01:00:18Yes, I know what time we start.
01:00:19What time did we finish?
01:00:20Nine o'clock.
01:00:21Nine o'clock.
01:00:22All right, I'll set the alarm for nine o'clock.
01:00:25Here you are.
01:00:26See?
01:00:27Get ready, we're nearly on.
01:00:28Good luck.
01:00:29Good luck.
01:00:30Good luck.
01:00:32Fifty-nine and a half.
01:00:33Fifty-nine and three quarters.
01:00:35Fifty-nine and seven eighths.
01:00:37Go!
01:00:43Hello, everybody.
01:00:44This is the Ask It Off Broadcasting Company.
01:00:46This morning we promised it and tonight you're going to get it.
01:00:48A brand new scintillating, epoch-making show.
01:00:51Ladies and gentlemen, Bandwagon.
01:01:01Bandwagon, come on and make your trip upon the bandwagon.
01:01:14It's a wow, boys, it's a grand wagon.
01:01:17Come on and make your trip to join the bandwagon.
01:01:19It's starting now, boys.
01:01:22All aboard!
01:01:23All aboard!
01:01:32Travel on the bandwagon.
01:01:34Come on and make your trip upon the bandwagon.
01:01:36It's a wow, boys, take a trip.
01:01:39Take a trip.
01:01:40Join the bandwagon.
01:01:42It's starting now, boys.
01:01:44And now, ladies and gentlemen, I shall endeavour to entertain you with a few...
01:01:52I say, Stinger.
01:01:53What's the matter?
01:01:54That's too high for me.
01:01:55Oh, yes, that's about your size, isn't it?
01:01:56No, I'm not Wade Georgie Wood.
01:01:58Here, I want to whisper to you.
01:01:59Can't, it's rude to whisper.
01:02:00It would be much ruder if I said it out loud.
01:02:02Oh, go and get ready.
01:02:03We're going to a dance tonight.
01:02:04Oh, I forgot about the dance.
01:02:06You know, I don't know whether to wear my evening dress or my ratting suit.
01:02:09Evening dress or your ratting suit?
01:02:11Well, you can't go wrong in evening dress.
01:02:13Right, I'll wear my ratting suit.
01:02:14By the way, who are you going to take to the dance?
01:02:16Well, I think I shall take Violet.
01:02:17Violet?
01:02:18Violet who?
01:02:19Violet Ray.
01:02:20Violet Ray.
01:02:21Oh, I know her brother.
01:02:22Hip hip, ho!
01:02:23Hooray!
01:02:24Who are you going to take?
01:02:25I'm going to take Norcia.
01:02:26She can't dance, can she?
01:02:27No, she can't dance, but nor can that baby sit down.
01:02:30Oh, bubba, bubba, bubba, bubba.
01:02:32One port and lemon and she's mine.
01:02:34You know, Big, honestly, you don't look the sort of little man who takes girls out to dances.
01:02:40What was I laughing at?
01:02:41Do you remember?
01:02:42I don't know.
01:02:43I can't think.
01:02:44I'll go and ask my mother.
01:02:45Mother!
01:02:46And now that we've got rid of him, Pat Kirkwood and I will give you our version of The Only
01:02:50One Who's Difficult Is You.
01:02:51OK, Jack.
01:02:52Honey, you're so lovely.
01:02:53But I seem so hot.
01:02:54I'm so hot.
01:02:55I'm so hot.
01:02:56I'm so hot.
01:02:57I'm so hot.
01:02:58I'm so hot.
01:02:59I'm so hot.
01:03:00I'm so hot.
01:03:01I'm so hot.
01:03:02I'm so hot.
01:03:03I'm so hot.
01:03:04I'm so hot.
01:03:05I'm so hot.
01:03:06I'm so hot.
01:03:07I'm so hot.
01:03:08I'm so hot.
01:03:09I'm so hot.
01:03:10I'm so hot.
01:03:11I'm so hot.
01:03:12I'm so hot.
01:03:13I'm so hot.
01:03:14I'm so hot.
01:03:15I'm so hot.
01:03:16I'm so hot.
01:03:17I'm so hot.
01:03:18I'm so hot.
01:03:19I'm so hot.
01:03:20I'm so hot.
01:03:21I'm so hot.
01:03:22I'm so hot.
01:03:23I'm so hot.
01:03:24I'm so hot.
01:03:25I'm so hot.
01:03:26I'm so hot.
01:03:27I'm so hot.
01:03:28I'm so hot.
01:03:29I'm so hot.
01:03:30I'm so hot.
01:03:31I'm so hot.
01:03:32I'm so hot.
01:03:33I'm so hot.
01:03:34I'm so hot.
01:03:35I'm so hot.
01:03:36I'm so hot.
01:03:37I'm so hot.
01:03:38I'm so hot.
01:03:39I'm so hot.
01:03:40I'm so hot.
01:03:41I'm so hot.
01:03:42I'm so hot.
01:03:43I'm so hot.
01:03:44I'm so hot.
01:03:45I'm so hot.
01:03:46I'm so hot.
01:03:47I'm so hot.
01:03:48I'm so hot.
01:03:49I'm so hot.
01:03:50I'm so hot.
01:03:51I'm so hot.
01:03:52I'm so hot.
01:03:53I'm so hot.
01:03:54I'm so hot.
01:03:55I'm so hot.
01:03:56I'm so hot.
01:03:57I'm so hot.
01:03:58I'm so hot.
01:03:59I'm so hot.
01:04:00I'm so hot.
01:04:01I'm so hot.
01:04:02I'm so hot.
01:04:03I'm so hot.
01:04:04I'm so hot.
01:04:05I'm so hot.
01:04:06I'm so hot.
01:04:07I'm so hot.
01:04:08I'm so hot.
01:04:09I'm so hot.
01:04:10I'm so hot.
01:04:11I'm so hot.
01:04:12I'm so hot.
01:04:13I'm so hot.
01:04:14I'm so hot.
01:04:15I'm so hot.
01:04:16I'm so hot.
01:04:17I'm so hot.
01:04:18I'm so hot.
01:04:19I'm so hot.
01:04:20I'm so hot.
01:04:21I'm so hot.
01:04:22I'm so hot.
01:04:23I'm so hot.
01:04:24I'm so hot.
01:04:25I'm so hot.
01:04:26I'm so hot.
01:04:27I'm so hot.
01:04:28I'm so hot.
01:04:29I'm so hot.
01:04:30I'm so hot.
01:04:31I'm so hot.
01:04:32I'm so hot.
01:04:33I'm so hot.
01:04:34I'm so hot.
01:04:35I'm so hot.
01:04:36I'm so hot.
01:04:37I'm so hot.
01:04:38I'm so hot.
01:04:39I'm so hot.
01:04:40I'm so hot.
01:04:41I'm so hot.
01:04:42I'm so hot.
01:04:43I'm so hot.
01:04:44I'm so hot.
01:04:45I'm so hot.
01:04:46I'm so hot.
01:04:47I'm so hot.
01:04:48I'm so hot.
01:04:49I'm so hot.
01:04:50I'm so hot.
01:04:51I'm so hot.
01:04:52I'm so hot.
01:04:53I'm so hot.
01:04:54I'm so hot.
01:04:55I'm so hot.
01:04:56I'm so hot.
01:04:57I'm so hot.
01:04:58I'm so hot.
01:04:59I'm so hot.
01:05:00I'm so hot.
01:05:01I'm so hot.
01:05:02I'm so hot.
01:05:03I'm so hot.
01:05:04I'm so hot.
01:05:05I'm so hot.
01:05:06I'm so hot.
01:05:07I'm so hot.
01:05:08I'm so hot.
01:05:09I'm so hot.
01:05:10I'm so hot.
01:05:11I'm so hot.
01:05:12I'm so hot.
01:05:13I'm so hot.
01:05:14I'm so hot.
01:05:15I'm so hot.
01:05:16I'm so hot.
01:05:17I'm so hot.
01:05:18I'm so hot.
01:05:19I'm so hot.
01:05:20I'm so hot.
01:05:21I'm so hot.
01:05:22I'm so hot.
01:05:23I'm so hot.
01:05:24I'm so hot.
01:05:25I'm so hot.
01:05:26I'm so hot.
01:05:27I'm so hot.
01:05:28I'm so hot.
01:05:29I'm so hot.
01:05:30I'm so hot.
01:05:31I'm so hot.
01:05:32I'm so hot.
01:05:33I'm so hot.
01:05:34I'm so hot.
01:05:35I'm so hot.
01:05:36I'm so hot.
01:05:37I'm so hot.
01:05:38I'm so hot.
01:05:39I'm so hot.
01:05:40I'm so hot.
01:05:41I'm so hot.
01:05:42I'm so hot.
01:05:43I'm so hot.
01:05:44I'm so hot.
01:05:45I'm so hot.
01:05:46I'm so hot.
01:05:47I'm so hot.
01:05:48I'm so hot.
01:05:49I'm so hot.
01:05:50I'm so hot.
01:05:51I'm so hot.
01:05:52I'm so hot.
01:05:53I'm so hot.
01:05:54I'm so hot.
01:05:55I'm so hot.
01:05:56I'm so hot.
01:05:57I'm so hot.
01:05:58I'm so hot.
01:05:59I'm so hot.
01:06:00I'm so hot.
01:06:01I'm so hot.
01:06:02I'm so hot.
01:06:03I'm so hot.
01:06:04I'm so hot.
01:06:05I'm so hot.
01:06:06I'm so hot.
01:06:07I'm so hot.
01:06:08I'm so hot.
01:06:09I'm so hot.
01:06:10I'm so hot.
01:06:11I'm so hot.
01:06:12I'm so hot.
01:06:13I'm so hot.
01:06:14I'm so hot.
01:06:15I'm so hot.
01:06:16I'm so hot.
01:06:17I'm so hot.
01:06:18I'm so hot.
01:06:19I'm so hot.
01:06:20I'm so hot.
01:06:21I'm so hot.
01:06:22I'm so hot.
01:06:23I'm so hot.
01:06:24I'm so hot.
01:06:25I'm so hot.
01:06:26I'm so hot.
01:06:27I'm so hot.
01:06:28I'm so hot.
01:06:29I'm so hot.
01:06:30I'm so hot.
01:06:31I'm so hot.
01:06:32I'm so hot.
01:06:33I'm so hot.
01:06:34I'm so hot.
01:06:35I'm so hot.
01:06:36I'm so hot.
01:06:37I'm so hot.
01:06:38I'm so hot.
01:06:39I'm so hot.
01:06:40I'm so hot.
01:06:41I'm so hot.
01:06:42I'm so hot.
01:06:43I'm so hot.
01:06:44I'm so hot.
01:06:45I'm so hot.
01:06:46I'm so hot.
01:06:47I'm so hot.
01:06:48I'm so hot.
01:06:49I'm so hot.
01:06:50I'm so hot.
01:06:51I'm so hot.
01:06:52I'm so hot.
01:06:53I'm so hot.
01:06:54I'm so hot.
01:06:55I'm so hot.
01:06:56I'm so hot.
01:06:57I'm so hot.
01:06:58I'm so hot.
01:06:59I'm so hot.
01:07:00I'm so hot.
01:07:01I'm so hot.
01:07:02I'm so hot.
01:07:03I'm so hot.
01:07:04I'm so hot.
01:07:05I'm so hot.
01:07:06I'm so hot.
01:07:07I'm so hot.
01:07:08I'm so hot.
01:07:09I'm so hot.
01:07:10I'm so hot.
01:07:11I'm so hot.
01:07:12I'm so hot.
01:07:13I'm so hot.
01:07:14I'm so hot.
01:07:15I'm so hot.
01:07:16I'm so hot.
01:07:17I'm so hot.
01:07:18I'm so hot.
01:07:19I'm so hot.
01:07:20I'm so hot.
01:07:21I'm so hot.
01:07:22I'm so hot.
01:07:23I'm so hot.
01:07:24I'm so hot.
01:07:25I'm so hot.
01:07:26I'm so hot.
01:07:27I'm so hot.
01:07:28I'm so hot.
01:07:29I'm so hot.
01:07:30I'm so hot.
01:07:31I'm so hot.
01:07:32I'm so hot.
01:07:33I'm so hot.
01:07:34I'm so hot.
01:07:35I'm so hot.
01:07:36I'm so hot.
01:07:37I'm so hot.
01:07:38I'm so hot.
01:07:39I'm so hot.
01:07:40I'm so hot.
01:07:41I'm so hot.
01:07:42I'm so hot.
01:07:43I'm so hot.
01:07:44I'm so hot.
01:07:45I'm so hot.
01:07:46I'm so hot.
01:07:47I'm so hot.
01:07:48I'm so hot.
01:07:49I'm so hot.
01:07:50I'm so hot.
01:07:51I'm so hot.
01:07:52I'm so hot.
01:07:53I'm so hot.
01:07:54I'm so hot.
01:07:55I'm so hot.
01:07:56I'm so hot.
01:07:57I'm so hot.
01:07:59My heart is like a singing bird,
01:08:01Although I'm poor and badly fed.
01:08:03And when my voice is worn away,
01:08:06I'll bed my door from bread to bread.
01:08:08Hee-hee!
01:08:09Oh, little brown workhouse, I love thee.
01:08:12I sing, sing, sing,
01:08:13I fly fly fly,
01:08:14Little, little bird.
01:08:15Ay-yi-yi.
01:08:16I'm going to fly away.
01:08:18Bye-bye.
01:08:22Later.
01:08:28© BF-WATCH TV 2021
01:08:58© BF-WATCH TV 2021
01:09:22How much longer? We're nearly there, sir.
01:09:29Now we're going to give you the rage of two continents,
01:09:32that crazy number, Boops-a-Daisy.
01:09:38In the noughty-nineties, ladies were so gay
01:09:41In the noughty-nineties, this is how they'd play
01:09:44Dancing as light as a feather
01:09:47Bumping their muscles together
01:09:51And me and Boops-a-Daisy
01:09:55I like a muscle that bends
01:09:58And me and Boops-a-Daisy
01:10:01Walk in the boat with three friends
01:10:05And me, oh don't be lazy
01:10:08Let's take a party, yeah, wow
01:10:11Now then, and me and Boops-a-Daisy
01:10:15Turn to your partner and bow, bow, bow
01:10:18And me and Boops-a-Daisy
01:10:22I like a muscle that bends
01:10:25And me and Boops-a-Daisy
01:10:29Walk in the boat with three friends
01:10:32And me, oh don't be lazy
01:10:35Let's take a party, yeah, wow
01:10:38Now then, and me and Boops-a-Daisy
01:10:42Turn to your partner and bow, bow, bow
01:10:46And me and Boops-a-Daisy
01:10:49I like a muscle that bends
01:10:52And me and Boops-a-Daisy
01:10:55Walk in the boat with three friends
01:10:58And me, oh don't be lazy
01:11:02Let's take a party, yeah, wow
01:11:05Now then, and me and Boops-a-Daisy
01:11:09Turn to your partner and bow, bow, bow
01:11:12And me and Boops-a-Daisy
01:11:17I like a muscle that bends
01:11:20And me and Boops-a-Daisy
01:11:23Walk in the boat with three friends
01:11:26And me, oh don't be lazy
01:11:30Let's take a party, yeah, wow
01:11:33Now then, and me and Boops-a-Daisy
01:11:37Turn to your partner and bow, bow, bow
01:11:40And me and Boops-a-Daisy
01:11:43I like a muscle that bends
01:11:46And me, oh don't be lazy
01:11:49Let's take a party, yeah, wow
01:11:52Now then, and me and Boops-a-Daisy
01:11:56Walk in the boat with three friends
01:11:59And me, oh don't be lazy
01:12:02Let's take a party, yeah, wow
01:12:05Now then, and me and Boops-a-Daisy
01:12:08Turn to your partner and bow, bow, bow
01:12:11And me, oh don't be lazy
01:12:14Let's take a party, yeah, wow
01:12:17Now then, and me and Boops-a-Daisy
01:12:20Walk in the boat with three friends
01:12:23And me, oh don't be lazy
01:12:26Let's take a party, yeah, wow
01:12:29Now then, and me and Boops-a-Daisy
01:12:32Walk in the boat with three friends
01:12:35And me, oh don't be lazy
01:12:38How do we go for time? I make it quarter to nine.
01:12:40Tell two by mine.
01:12:41What do you make it big?
01:12:42Mike is our fast rate.
01:12:43Somebody get the right time from somewhere.
01:12:44We must be off the air before the BBC come on at nine.
01:12:46Oh, they'll be after all tonight.
01:12:50What's the time?
01:12:51I can't be bothered with the time.
01:12:52I want to watch the show.
01:12:53You old fool, somebody's got to keep the time.
01:12:56Oh, fool, I'm not.
01:12:57Well, you can keep the time yourself then.
01:12:58Well, bring the clock here and I will.
01:13:01I think he's ordering a bounce.
01:13:03I'll run up and down the stairs for him.
01:13:09Louis, you can take it.
01:13:11Here, hold it.
01:13:17Now take it to your Uncle Freddy
01:13:18And have a nice, cutie snack.
01:13:20Go on.
01:13:22Go on, go on.
01:13:23Where are those other fools?
01:13:25They must know that something is wrong right now.
01:13:28Look, the time clock.
01:13:30Listen, it's ticking.
01:13:33Holy mother, it is going off in five minutes.
01:13:35Oh, shit.
01:13:36Go away, go away.
01:13:37Go away.
01:13:38Go away.
01:13:51Stop it.
01:13:58That's the man, arrest him.
01:13:59Here, let go of him.
01:14:00Here, what are you doing?
01:14:01Take your hands off me.
01:14:02I charge these men with obstruction of public services
01:14:04and trespass on the BBC Charter.
01:14:06So do I, and I defy you to prove it.
01:14:08All right, take them away.
01:14:10Boys, come on, boys.
01:14:11Come on, help him.
01:14:15Look, the cops have got him.
01:14:17It's the most exciting program I've ever seen.
01:14:19Gentlemen, please stop it.
01:14:21Oh, Mr. Pilkington, I'm glad I've caught you, sir.
01:14:23What the devil are you doing down here?
01:14:24This stunt of yours is a sensation, sir.
01:14:25What stunt?
01:14:26This show you've just televised, sir.
01:14:27Everyone in London's talking about it.
01:14:29I tell you, Paul, this is terrific.
01:14:31At last somebody's thought of an original end.
01:14:33Oh, I've an urgent communication, sir, from Sir Angus Macbeth.
01:14:36Chief?
01:14:37Yes, sir.
01:14:39Congratulations on magnificent publicity campaign.
01:14:42Bandwagon must be regular feature.
01:14:44Signed, Angus Macbeth.
01:14:46We're in.
01:14:47Great.
01:14:48That's another one of his shirts.
01:14:49Help, help, quickly.
01:14:51Before we are blown to bits.
01:14:53There's a goat here with a time bomb on him.
01:14:55Look, there he is down by the camera.
01:14:59Whoa, whoa, whoa.
01:15:01Stop, stop, everybody, stop.
01:15:03Yes, we know how to handle him.
01:15:05Quiet, everybody.
01:15:07Come on, Lewis.
01:15:09Come on.
01:15:10There's a good boy.
01:15:11Come on, Rosebud.
01:15:13Don't be frightened.
01:15:14Come on, Lewis.
01:15:15There you go, Lewis.
01:15:16Whoa.
01:15:18Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa.
01:15:21Help, help.
01:15:29And that, playmates, is how Bandwagon came to the BBC.
01:15:34Aye, aye, y'all.